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All the Comments on Every Recipe Blog

Feel free to add your own, but this covers it pretty well.

http://the-toast.net/2014/09/04/eight...

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  1. This needs to read, "All the Stupid, Moronic, Idiotic, Clueless Comments on Every Recipe Blog"

    Some of the commenters just shouldn't be cooking or baking, let alone reproducing.

    1 Reply
    1. re: monavano

      Which is why you need to be careful on the internet in general.

    2. The comments below the comments have some winners:

      "I was kind of surprised to see that you bought your salt pre-made. It's really not that hard to make your own from sea water, and the taste is far superior."

      9 Replies
      1. re: ennuisans

        Even funnier because we've got a CHer who does make his own seasalt. :)

        1. re: DuchessNukem

          Can't say it's never crossed my mind.

        2. re: ennuisans

          reminds me of a spoof magazine that had a Martha Stewart article about "making your own H2O"

          1. re: DGresh

            I have that magazine somewhere in the basement.

            1. re: DGresh

              There are two of those parody magazines. One has the Martha lookalike hosting a backyard party and she is walking across the water of a built-in pool with a serving tray in her hands. Funny!

                1. re: Multifoiled

                  I had that! A close friend gave it to me as a gag gift.

            2. re: ennuisans

              Sounds like vintage Martha Stewart- "...and add the honey. These are from my own bees, but any honey will do." I watched her say that.

              1. re: EWSflash

                I know many 'hounds have their own chickens, but for someone like me in a big city, I sit with mouth agape when Martha suggests going out to the chicken coop and getting "only the freshest of eggs."

                I still love her though.

            3. So funny. The only place with worse comments is youtube, cooking blogs are close though.

              1 Reply
              1. re: EatFoodGetMoney

                All youtube comments eventually end up n a thread about the birthplace of the US President......

                1. re: juliejulez

                  Or a bread machine.

                  Or replacing the entire "dough" or "bread" portion of a recipe with canned biscuits or store-bought bread and then rating the recipe accordingly.

                  Or I once saw a recipe for homemade apple turnovers where the reviewer said "It seemed like too much work to make puff pastry and the sliced apples from scratch so I substituted Pillsbury biscuits from the can and a can of apple pie filling. They turned out AH-MAZING!" Ohh I wanted to kill her.

                  Or I recently saw one for "Quick and easy meatballs" made with "dehydrated ground beef" to which you just add water. All of the other ingredients were things like freeze dried onions, canned carrots, canned peas, etc. I'm not averse to canned vegetables, but come on. And WTF is dehydrated ground beef??

                  Or when people substitute all the butter in a recipe for applesauce and then complain that it's lacking in flavor.

                  Or when they substitute all whole wheat flour and complain that the texture is dense or heavy.

                  Or when they sub in BLSL chicken breasts for bone in thighs or breasts but cook for the same amount of time and complain that they're dry or overcooked.

                  I could keep going. I am very irritated right now just recounting all of these tales.

                  1. re: nothingswrong

                    For home use, the only place I can think you might find dehydrated ground beef would be something like camping food. But I'm told it's also how Taco Bell ships their "beef" to their restaurants.

                    1. re: ennuisans

                      Yeah, it sounds like emergency food storage stuff to me.

                      1. re: Kontxesi

                        That's fine. I'd eat almost anything in an emergency. But the blog with the dehydrated and freeze-dried animal products suggested these recipes for "quick and easy weeknight meals." I'm sorry, but I would never EVER serve my children and husband (don't have either, but just saying) reconstituted chicken and beef on a regular basis. It just screams laziness to me.

                        1. re: nothingswrong

                          The Martha Brand embodies an aspirational lifestyle that many of the people who read & watch her habitually will ever really achieve, but hey, it's nice to dream! If one puts aside the recipe directions like the one about the fresh eggs and just gets to the core of the recipe and substitutes the ingredients they have at hand (like grocery-store bought eggs), the recipes are usually spot on.

                  2. re: juliejulez

                    I sometimes think this but don't ever (?) comment as such.

                    1. “Due to dietary restrictions, I am only able to eat Yatzhee dice. I made the necessary substitutions, and it turned out great.”

                      That was the best.

                      They left out "I stopped eating ______ four months ago and all my _________ (health problems) cleared right up! Here's four links to crackpot natural health websites"

                      Something something about organics, GMO's, HFCS, etc.

                      1. My favorite comments are those that devolve into political arguments.

                        1 Reply
                        1. re: tcamp

                          Which would be about 90% of the internets, amirite?

                        2. I used to have to read every single comment on CHOW recipes as part of my job. I am now officially having flashbacks.

                          1. Is it only me or does anyone else think that a lot of the so-called "serious" comments are really just people busting balls for the hell of it? I realize there are a lot of not-so-bright people out there, but the anonymity of the Internet really does bring out a lot of trolls.

                            1. Of course, this is the classic recipe/comments pair. The comments are hilarious.

                              http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/pa...

                              1. I once saw a comment on a strawberry lemonade recipe that wasn't dumb exactly, just left me wondering: I didn't have water available, so I used milk. Where in the world is the water not potable, but milk is readily available for someone with access to the internet?

                                4 Replies
                                1. re: zitronenmadchen

                                  Mexico? There are boxes of shelf-stable milk readily available all over the world.

                                  1. re: zitronenmadchen

                                    Ummm.... They added lemon juice to milk?!

                                    1. re: Ttrockwood

                                      Large vat of Instant-Buttermilk-Like-Substance

                                    1. re: JTPhilly

                                      "I boiled it for an hour. When there was barely any left, I added 6 ounces of vodka and a thimble full of vermouth, added some ice, and strained it into a chilled martini glass. Added an olive. Thanks Epicurious! You're the best! "

                                    2. I love when people basically ask permission to make very small adjustments. 'I don't have any Heinz ketchup, can I replace it with another brand?' That sort of thing.

                                      6 Replies
                                      1. re: dbrodbeck

                                        I literally delayed learning to cook for years because any time I found a recipe I wanted to try it would specify a particular brand ("Kraft Brand Processed Cheese Food") and I'd only have the generic grocery store stuff. Couldn't take the chance.

                                        And the instinct is not completely wrong--store bought grated cheese (often with corn starch added) is not the same as grating a block yourself, after all--but in the end it almost never matters enough to worry about.

                                        1. re: dbrodbeck

                                          A lot of things can vary a lot brand to brand. Serious Eats always does good taste tests of different products.

                                          1. re: EatFoodGetMoney

                                            So if a recipe calls for Heinz ketchup and you have a different brand, you'll go out and buy Heinz? if so you're more precise than I am.

                                            1. re: DGresh

                                              Really depends on the ingredient, and the source of the recipe. If there is a legitimate argument for a specific brand and it is required or will make a superior dish I will always go buy it.

                                          2. re: dbrodbeck

                                            Let's say you were making an Ina Garten recipe, and you only had Safeway-brand olive oil, instead of "Good" olive oil. Would you go out and buy some "good" oil? :)

                                            1. re: mwk

                                              Absolutely! Good olive oil makes a huge difference.

                                          3. Yup! That was a good funny read rockycat, thanks! I don't know how many times I've read:

                                            Looks great, can't wait to try it!

                                            ...hopefully more times than I've typed it though!! oops!

                                            Note to self...be more original/authentic.

                                            2 Replies
                                            1. re: Breadcrumbs

                                              The "looks great, can't wait to try it!" comments don't bother me, except when they come with a five-star rating. That drives me batty.

                                              1. re: Kontxesi

                                                It's the 1-star reviews that say 'hey this looks good, I'll make it someday' that drive me batty. People, if you haven't tried it, don't review it!

                                            2. I am forever reading the comments on allrecipes aloud to DH.
                                              It's like watching people drive in Georgia.

                                              All you can do is say "What the hell are you thinking?!"

                                              1. Thanks for the funny and insightful comments. Definitely food for thought, as it were. Amybeth Hurst, Portland, ME

                                                1. This is pretty specific but any recipe designated as "low" insert ingredient here, i.e. sugar, carb, salt, fat ALWAYS has a long comment about a health problem where they are seeking advice from strangers - in the comments section of a recipe. I came across another one this morning. It's ubiquitous but it always blows my mind.