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Food related television commercial failures

I had a nightmare last night this little evil bastard broke into my room, tied me up, placed me in my toaster and toasted me. When I popped up he pushed me back in all awhile I hear him laughing;
"Junior strudel yaaaaahhh"

This kid is one of the creepiest pitch men I have seen. Nothing about him or his commercials makes me want to but his product. Dare I purchase it for my children and they start to look or act like him. Ugggghhh look at his eyes, EVIL! EVIL I tell you!!!

So what are some of your personal commercial horror stories?

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  1. Not sure that this one can be topped!

    1. I cannot stand that kid! I am reminded of, and I do not take this lightly, some Nazi Aryan ideal. Who thought this was a good idea?

      1 Reply
      1. re: libgirl2

        Ernst Rohm's test tube-developed great-grandson, rumor has it. Looks like the wicked witch of the Reich with his flying monkey pastries.

        And I've never seen Loden in blue. Oh....he has to be color coordinated with the box of this processed crap. Can you think of a better way to get beat up than to go to school dressed like that?
        CP

      2. I find the Pop-Tarts commercials where anthropomorphic breakfast pastries are tricked in to jumping in to a toaster where they are then presumably toasted alive to be a bit disturbing.

        1. Cannibalism! Whether the DQ shrimp that realized they were eating their kids, or the current Mr/Mrs Potato Head potato chip one. I can put up with a lot but that ain't right.

          3 Replies
          1. re: ennuisans

            Yeah - I hate all the ads that have foodstuffs with mental issues. Charlie the Tuna is clearly depressed and has an inferiority complex. But most of all I loathe the cannibals.

            1. re: MplsM ary

              Awwwww I never thought of poor Charley as depressed, but now that you mention it................

            2. re: ennuisans

              Actually, I think the Lays commercial with Mr. Potatohead busting the Mrs. for eating Lays potato chips is kind of cute.

              Having said that, I think the cannibalism in the Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal commercial is really kinda gross.

            3. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kcY0R4V...

              The Buttermaid Bread ad starts at 0:30.
              This old ad struck me as so awfully bad that I still remember it!
              Even the Brady Bunch would have turned down this job, silver platter award or not. ;)

              1. Yes! Someone else finds this kid creepy!! I don't think this commercial helps the product line - having some Stepford son staring vacantly at the camera. I'm not sure if that accent is even real.

                My other "shake my head" commercial was the one for Quiznos that featured those rat/rodent hybrids. When is featuring a rodent EVER good for a food commercial?

                 
                4 Replies
                1. re: breadchick

                  Hahahahaha is that for real? That looks like a photo shop job, that couldn't have been an actual television commercial for Quizno's. WTF???

                  1. re: jrvedivici

                    Yeah, actual commercials. You can catch them on YouTube. When these commercials aired locally, we didn't have any Quiznos around our region, so imagine what I was thinking when seeing these. WTF indeed! :)

                    1. re: breadchick

                      I loved those commercials! They were weird & goofy & funny. Who'd have thought a "Come on in - you won't find any surprises here!" type place like Quizno's would go out on a limb like that.

                      1. re: chowyadoin99

                        So did I! I don't know what customer base they were aimed at, but they got my attention.

                    1. re: cowboyardee

                      How could that woman have a kitchen with a commercial (Garland?) stove?!

                      1. re: cowboyardee

                        You know ..... I'll never be able to get that minute of my life back. :o((((((

                      2. Oh, thank God, I thought I was the only one who was creeped out by this kid. Every time I see it, I think he'll say "You vill eat disss and you vill like itttttt.".

                        2 Replies
                        1. re: Jerzeegirl

                          I always think he must be the most underpaid person in the entertainment industry, because I can't imagine what kind of compensation could make up for what he must hear from other kids.

                          Wouldn't it be great, though, if he grew up to be a dashing leading man, and then one day, someone digs up this commercial...?

                          1. re: Skippy1414

                            Yeah, should Andy Cohen's Watch What Happens Live live to a ripe old age, Andy could ... "Open the vault!"

                        2. I found that Tums ad featuring the gibberish speaking meatball to be very disturbing.

                          4 Replies
                          1. re: tcamp

                            That big meatball always made me think of a diseased talking testicle…not that I’ve ever seen one or anything…

                            1. re: EM23

                              "diseased talking testicle"

                              Dr. Freud called, he needs to reschedule your appointment this week.

                              1. re: EM23

                                I can see what you mean. It might be the brief glimpse of the skin colored tights, slightly baggy, that leave that impression.

                                1. re: tcamp

                                  Thanks, Doc. Please write me a note for Junior so that I'm allowed to keep playing in the chow pool.

                            2. Pretty much every commercial for chain restaurants makes me want to projectile vomit all over the tv screen: depicting glossy, revolting looking "food" being slowly covered in cheesy or neon-colored sauce (TGIF, Chili's, Red Lobster, OG, etc. etc.). Positively disgusting.

                              Why anyone would think "hey, that looks great, ima gonna eat there every day now" is beyond me.

                              Whereas I lurved the Quizno's sock monkeys. We play that song on special request at shows '-D

                              7 Replies
                              1. re: linguafood

                                Well since you brought it up, I went to try and email you the other day, I remember there was a link to a blog on your page. Now when I clicked the blog link, it took me to a music page. Is that you Lingua or is there a problem with your link?

                                1. re: jrvedivici

                                  Yep, that's my soundcloud page. I haven't updated my food blog in such a long time, I'm too embarrassed to link it.... then again, those recordings aren't all *that* recent, either.

                                  Might be studio time again soon.

                                2. re: linguafood

                                  Re: the Quiznos sock monkey song - puuhleeeez tell me you sing it in the crazy falsetto like the monkey does?

                                    1. re: linguafood

                                      Patiently waiting for the youtube upload.

                                  1. re: linguafood

                                    They were the "sponge" monkeys. The artist also had had some great pieces with the Angry Kittens.

                                    http://www.rathergood.com/moon_song

                                    Not to everyone's taste, I know. But I always find them amusing. Glad to see that he got a paycheck from Quizno's.

                                  2. I have a peeve about the KFC commercials that depict a busy mom patting herself on the back for getting a family dinner on the table, with a added bonus (not) of some crappy, sugar-laden blob cake for dessert.

                                    It's just sad, so sad if the bar is really that low.

                                    1. Give me back that filet-of-fish,
                                      Give me that fish
                                      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOlo5...

                                      I am thoroughly convinced that someone can only come up with an ad like this after a whole lot of puff.

                                      6 Replies
                                        1. re: monavano

                                          Not having seen it for a few years, it made me laugh, but when it was airing non-stop, it drove me nuts.

                                        2. re: EM23

                                          Oh EM I'm sorry we agree to disagree on this one! I can't wait till every lent to see what kind of ridiculous TV campaign Mc Donald's is going to roll out to promote the Filet of Fish. This was one of my Fav's!!! Although I love the commercial's I can't stand the sandwich.

                                          1. re: jrvedivici

                                            I Didn't bring lunch yesterday and got a Mc-fish. I ordered no cheese hoping it might be fresh. It was lukewarm and the fries cold and disgusting. Maybe next year.

                                          2. re: EM23

                                            Hell: Driving a carload of scouts to a camp out, all of them singing that song at full volume. Finally you stop and offload them at McD's for an ear respite.

                                            1. re: tcamp

                                              Let me guess...it was the "destroyer" and pals that you mention on the no kids allowed thread a little while ago. :-)

                                            1. http://youtu.be/ehxt5NS105Q
                                              I still sing this stupid jingle and have never ever eaten Wacky Mac. Did you say four different noodles in one box? Craaaaaazy!

                                              1. I though he had that weird look on his face because he was probably thinking of how best to murder his stage mother for getting him a gig wearing powder blue lederhosen. ;-)
                                                http://thedamienzone.com/2014/03/13/m...

                                                1. I was looking for the creepy "Wake up with the King" commercial from a few years back...

                                                  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4_5q...

                                                  But this one is even worse...

                                                  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=doh5J...

                                                  1 Reply
                                                  1. re: Coogles

                                                    Ah yes. The creepy king. He was always creeping around with that stare of a psycho killer mask and outfit. The other one posted is worse for sure.

                                                    1. re: 4X4

                                                      I think some of the current Haribo gummi bear ads rival Mentos in their creepy Germanic humor...and I'm someone who lived in Germany and majored in German!

                                                      A fellow student made the comment once that the old comic strip "Nancy" is the closest thing we have in the US to German humor. I cannot disagree.

                                                    2. "Vee vill shange how you eat, how you think, how you dress, Ja! Toaster Shtrudel vill take over da verld!"

                                                      This is creepiest Aryan kid since the 1960 film "Village of the Damned". Only they didn't say much, and they never carried pastries.

                                                      Yet truly creepiest is still the silent, masked Burger King. There was a psychopathic serial killer in the making.

                                                       
                                                       
                                                      1. Yeah, this kid is creepy! For me it's about any commercial or infomercial for a food related gizmo. OH, you need a SPECIAL pot to cook pasta in cuz you don't know how to use a COLANDER?!? BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! OH, you need a SPECIAL tool to turn pancakes/or eggs cuz you don't know how to use a SPATULA!?! BUT WAIT!!

                                                        But on the good side, those Alka Seltzer ads (from 70's??) were ingenious... "I can't believe I ate the whole thing" and "That's a speecy, spicy meatball" come to mind.

                                                        1. The "Rollie Easy Egg Cooker" has to be one of the dumbest kitchen appliances I've seen in a long time. Who on earth was thinking to themselves "gee, I wish I could cook something in the shape of a tube"? It honestly looks like a sex toy, like one of those FleshLights or something.

                                                          I also hate how manic the guests hosts get during infomercials for kitchen gadgets, when they try out some of the food cooked in them. They all act like someone high on cocaine, who is super melodramatic and exaggerated.

                                                          2 Replies
                                                          1. re: Atomic76

                                                            Well the Oxy Clean Guy Billy Mays did die of a cocaine induced heart attack.

                                                            1. re: HokieAnnie

                                                              Come to think about it, Billy was *sniff* always a little *sniff* hyper.

                                                              As for worthless counter cloggers before the Rollie Eggie thingee, how about the Popiel In-The-Egg-Scrambler of about 45 years ago? Battery-powered rotating needle that punctured the egg and blended it so you didn't have to expend five seconds of wrist action. Less work for mother.
                                                              CP

                                                          2. His sister is starring in one of the mini peeps commercials.
                                                            she could star in The Bad Seed remake.

                                                            http://www.ispot.tv/ad/7Rjb/peeps-min...

                                                            1. Those Tillamook cheese ad cartoons are strange.

                                                              1. Will somebody please teach Popeye's advertising team how to freaking COOK????

                                                                Complaint #1; the newest commercial about "chicken tenderloins". She claims to "slow marinade, hand BATTER, and fry them up crispy" (exact quote).
                                                                Excuse me, but the chicken at Popeye's is BREADED not BATTERED.
                                                                Ok, small technicality. Easy mistake. BUT....

                                                                Complaint #2; The previous commercial about "Cracked Pepper Butterfly Shrimp" (remember the name,it's important). ,She opens by saying "I'm gonna give you one of MY cooking secrets, but you better keep a lid on it, alright? Cracked peppercorn. That is the secret behind my new cracked pepper butterfly shrimp!"
                                                                Ok, not only has she failed to convince me that she is sharing this secret with only ME, but not the other 50 million people ALSO watching that particular TV channel at that particular moment, but if you TRULY want to keep the pepper a secret ingredient then DON'T PUT IT IN THE FREAKING NAME OF THE DISH!!!!!

                                                                Here are the links to the two commercials in case you haven't seen these little gems.
                                                                http://www.ispot.tv/ad/7Lq_/popeyes-h...

                                                                https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PQ1G...

                                                                1. Any Carl's Jr ad (and I've heard the back-east cousin is Hardee's). Sexifying a hamburger just isn't necessary. Guess their target audience is teenage guys?

                                                                  2 Replies
                                                                  1. re: pine time

                                                                    However, "Sexifying A Hamburger" might just be a good name for a band.

                                                                    1. re: jmckee

                                                                      "Sexifying A Hamburger" might be the title of my memoir. Undecided at this point.

                                                                  2. ANY commercial that had the Burger King creepy king.

                                                                     
                                                                    2 Replies
                                                                    1. re: LindaWhit

                                                                      I do not know why this does not a have a jillion whateverwerecallingtheusedtoberecommends. Click on!

                                                                      1. re: LindaWhit

                                                                        Deleted - it was mentioned downthread. (I mean I deleted my own comment.)

                                                                      2. The one for me is the Velveeta commercial for Velveeta Shells & Cheese where the tagline is, "Eat Liquid Gold."

                                                                        I'm not sure why, but just the idea of eating liquid gold kinda grosses me out. And I don't get the vision of eating real gold, it's just some runny, goopy, slimy stuff oozing out of some squeeze packet. Yuck!

                                                                        3 Replies
                                                                        1. re: al b. darned

                                                                          Hey, real gold leaf tastes just fine. I've used it on Indian dishes. Velveeta, no way.

                                                                          1. One of the lamest commercials for a Grocery Store evah. .
                                                                            Who dances like that?
                                                                            And that kid with the giant cookie. .wtf?!

                                                                            www.ispot.tv/ad/7jo1/albertsons-anniv...

                                                                            1 Reply
                                                                            1. re: Beach Chick

                                                                              Huh. I get those ads on my Kindle for a local-to-me supermarket, Shaws. So Albertsons is saving on their advertising costs by changing the sign on the store.