Points to Ponder
1. Who was that Crazy-assed person that figured out how you eat an artichoke?
2. What lazy baker left his dough to sit out under a tree, neglecting it all that time to find it had doubled in size?
a. in fact, the whole bread process....you take a crappy piece of grass, knock off the tops, somehow get rid of the crud, dry it, crush it, mix it with other stuff, add tree-crud to it, neglect it, bake it (were the first "loaves" eaten raw?)
3. how many Japanese do you supposed croaked before they figure out how to get pufferfish belly sliced right and in the right amount to be a delicacy?
4. And hats off to those early pioneers who took a anemic looking blade of grass with a cple of "pustules" on it and then practiced GMO techniques until they finally arrived at those golden ears
5. "Seriously Walter.ya take these here leaves.dry 'em and then roll em up and smoke 'em and you'll eventually have doctors smoking more Lucky Strikes than any other brand?"
6. That big red thing off that nice plant that will kill you! Maybe we can give some to Italians and take care of the problem down there
7.Bury the fish then dig it up later? Are you nuts? That's good fertilizer!
8.We can take those sharks we catch, slice em up and freeze them and no one will ever know it's not Swordfish....how cheap is that?
9. If the Warden tries to feed us that damn red bottom feeder one more time, we gonna revolt! That's the 3rd time we've had lobster this week!
10. Ok, this machine will "zap" the food with special rays and it will cook the food but not heat the plates up too much. It's safe to humans as long as you stay behind this shield
11. Bonus Round........Are you Crazy, Doctor? Bread Mold is bread mold..it's no damn good for anything except ruining bread!
re: hill food
You're right; observation of monkeys had nothing to do it. It was a result of the shift from hunter-gatherer culture to agricultural society.
A fascinating book for anyone interested in either history in general, or the history of beverages, is "A History of the World in 6 Glasses" by Tom Standage.
Standage's book covers in chronological order, the discovery/development of Beer, Wine, Spirits, Coffee, Tea, and Coca-Cola and how each impacted the world.
At any rate, it would take a much longer post than this to explain beer, but accidental fermentation of gruel left too long (especially that made with a malted grain) was one starting point, storage problems with fruit or honey another.
"Hey, Sven, why don't we take this here fish and dry it with lye. We'll rinse it off later so nobody dies, and turn it from a board to a wiggly, gelatinous, amorphous mass, and people will LOVE it!"
Steal that thing from under that bird.
Break it open.
Divide it into clear and yellow parts.
Put the clear part into a very cold metal bowl*
Stir it really really fast to add a lot of air.
Add some 5 year old curdled baby goat food
Place under heat until it rises
eat it before it falls.
<waving madly from the back of the room> I know #10! For that we have reliable testimony; although bread baking was more than likely a series of happy accidents combined with iterative experimenting, the modern microwave oven is the result of one good news/bad news accident.
In 1945, Percy Spencer was experimenting with a new vacuum tube called a magnetron while doing research for the Raytheon Corporation. He was intrigued when the candy bar in his pocket began to melt, so he tried another experiment with popcorn. When it began to pop, Spencer immediately saw the potential in this revolutionary process. In 1947, Raytheon built the first microwave oven, the Radarange, which weighed 750 pounds, was 5 1/2 feet tall, and cost about $5,000.
The good news was a brand-new money-maker; the bad news was a lost chocolate bar and a dry-cleaning bill. (some may include the development of microwave popcorn in the bad news column as well.)
PS: regarding Tobacco - Bob Newhart did a great bit many years ago on the comic possibilities of explaining the use of tobacco.