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Funniest thing a server said to you 2 (or, funniest thing you've heard in a restaurant)

This post from 2011-2013 is my favorite all time chowthread.
http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/7878...

There may be no more stories 800+ posts later, but if there are, bring them on!

I have a cringeworthy story that is funny in retrospect, from back when Juniors in Westwood (LA) was still open. My husband and I had a casual dinner only to be presented with an extraordinarily large tab. When we asked the waiter, he took back our bill to investigate and it turned out that he had charged to our card another table's dinner, and our dinner to their card. They were a party of six. He talked to them about the mixup first, and then came over to explain it to us. After the explanation, he asked whether we minded if he just left things as they were, and didn't re-run the cards. He said he proposed this to the other table as well, and they were ok with it!

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  1. Wait - he charged you for the higher cost table? That's illegal. (And of COURSE the other table was fine with it!)

    4 Replies
      1. re: LindaWhit

        No, he was willing to charge us the right amount if we asked him to re-run the cards. He just didn't want to go to the trouble if we didn't mind, just like the other table didn't mind.

        It's only funny in a retrospective, people are so clueless kind of way. I know it was a bit of a stretch, but I needed to kick off the chain, and I'd already used my lost in translation story in the first chain!

        I'll repeat it here just for kicks. We had a large group from work go to a corporate chinese restaurant for someone's birthday in one of those downtown skyscrapers. And the poor waiter apparently picked up an english idiom that he just didn't quite know how to use. Because when he went around the table asking for everyone's drink order, he answered "no kidding!" to us all. We were all talking so it took about 3 no kiddings for the table to go silent and then another 3-4 for giggles to ensue.

        1. re: linguafood

          Ohhh, OK - so it was a V8 moment...on the waiter's part. I would have been more than glad to V8 him - AND the other table. :-)

      2. Years ago our waiter, who is a friend of ours, typed in our order as "possum fritters" and "raccoon skewers". I have no idea how the kitchen got our order right, he must have run back and gave them the actual order. It was hysterical - I still have the itemized receipt from that meal.

        4 Replies
        1. re: UTgal

          Speaking of receipts, one of my sons is peanut allergic and we mention it each time we go out. So once we got an itemized receipt that went something like this:
          entree $20
          entree $15
          ...
          drinks $10
          peanut allergy $0

          Thank goodness they didn't charge us for it!

            1. re: melpy

              It is, BUT I'm wondering if it shows up on the ticket in the kitchen, and gives them a heads-up that there is a table with a peanut allergy in the house. Kind of smart on the restaurant/kitchen's part!

        2. My husband and I were at one of our regular restaurants and had a new server.

          I ordered a glass of sauvignon blanc. The server returned with a glass of red (probably cabernet sauvignon) and placed it in front of me.

          When I told her she brought me the wrong wine, she challenged me in a very sassy tone “how do you know, you haven’t tasted it yet”

          6 Replies
          1. re: cleobeach

            That's just flat out rude of that server.

            1. re: LindaWhit

              Rude can be funny. To someone else, in storytelling!

              1. re: sasha1

                I guess. But a completely wrong glass of wine - like completely different color? Sounds more like stupidity on the server's part, IMO.

                  1. re: sasha1

                    I keep hearing that V8 "pop!" noise on this thread. :-)

            2. re: cleobeach

              ah!! a similar thing happened to me. I asked if they had zinfandel, got an affirmative answer and a lovely glass of 'pink' wine appeared. UGH. I explained to the BARTENDER that this wasn't zinfandel (didn't get into the issue of whether or not it is even wine) and he argued with me, showing me the bottle.
              I told them it wasn't what I thought and ordered a glass of merlot...

            3. When Randazzo's Clam Bar opened an outpost here on Long Island in the 1970s, we paid a visit. They must have been trying to keep the Brooklyn vibe because our waiter was a dead ringer for John Travolta at the time. We asked him what "Clams Oreganata" was, and he replied in a Saturday Night Fever voice "It's like, you know, clams with, you know, oregano."

              You might have had to be there, but we both still crack up 40 years later when one of us says it to the other.

              1. One of my largest faux pas as an owner/manager on the floor. A good customer comes in for dinner after what was a bit of a long spell without seeing him. Honestly the customer was much more aware of it than I was, however he brought it up when I visited the table to see how things were going.

                I approach and ask, how is everything tonight? He responds and goes on to say "I"m sorry for not being around in awhile...........{{and then the live music got a little louder and I couldn't actually hear his explanation for not being in for awhile}}.......once he as finished speaking I didn't want to make him repeat himself so when he stopped talking I just nodded and smiled and said; "It's ok, I won't hold that against you".......and walked away.

                Later in the evening the gentlemen's girlfriend came over to me and pulled me aside and said, "It's obvious you couldn't hear what he said, but I just wanted to let you know he told you he hasn't been in for awhile because his daughter passed away.................."

                Guess who got their check picked up that night!?!?!?!? Needless to say I went over and profusely apologized for my not hearing him. Probably one of my worst public embarrassments.

                7 Replies
                1. re: jrvedivici

                  Ohhhhhhh man...I feel for you. My stomach dropped into my shoes.

                  I'm sure he understood.

                  1. re: jrvedivici

                    "Later in the evening the gentlemen's girlfriend came over to me and pulled me aside and said, "It's obvious you couldn't hear what he said, but I just wanted to let you know he told you he hasn't been in for awhile because his daughter passed away.................."

                    I literally spit out a pretzel I was eating when I read that! Not that the daughter's passing away is funny, but to think you said "It's ok, I won't hold that against you" in response! I hope you don't mind the laugh I got out of this, but then you did post in in a thread titled, "Funniest thing a server said to you 2 (or, funniest thing you've heard in a restaurant)"

                    1. re: ttoommyy

                      How could I mind.........it was probably the completely worst thing that could be said in response........even the cheesy sarcastic smile I had on my face when I said it and then just casually strolled away from the table. It was bad........but none of us are making fun of the passing of his daughter, every one share a laugh over what an idiot I am!!

                      1. re: jrvedivici

                        Ok, thanks.
                        I am still giggling at this as I type!

                    2. re: jrvedivici

                      I am doing my cringe smile right now. They one where you are smiling but appalled at yourself for doing so. Mild self flagellation I guess.

                      1. re: jrvedivici

                        I once set a drink down in front of a blind customer and said , "Here's your orange juice." He loudly stated "I'm blind, sweetheart, I don't know where 'here' is."

                        "Well I guess you don't want to see a menu then." came flying out of my mouth before I could stop it.

                        Luckily he had a deep dark sense of humor and laughed. I'm still embarrassed all these years later.

                        1. re: NonnieMuss

                          Lol. Hopefully you read him the menu.