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Apr 21, 2014 09:36 AM

Dinner guest peeve

I hosted Easter yesterday for about 15. A few days ago, an invited guest asked if she could bring her grown daughter with her (as well as her two young sons who were already coming). I agreed with no problem.

Yesterday, one of my first guests arrived to tell me that she had spoken to my friend (who was on her way) and that the friend asked her to tell me that her daughter was under the weather and so wouldn't be coming after all. This first guest then went on to tell me that they would, of course, expect to have the absent guest's dinner packed up and sent home with her mother. I told this first guest that I thought that was a rude request. I was told that I was being ridiculous.

I dropped it for the sake of a pleasant day (which is was) and braced myself for the follow-up request that I pack up a dinner. The request never came and I continued as if the request (from this first guest) had never been made.

Question: was I being ridiculous to think that this was a rude request? At the time, I had been up since 4am cooking and cleaning for everyone and I suppose I let my irritation show.

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  1. Ridiculously rude of it meant that you or your guests would have to monitor intake to allow for the takeout or if it would leave you with an unsatisfactory amount of left overs.

    A welcomed request if you, like my pseudo SIL, way over cooked and didn't know what to do with all the left overs. I helped her our by taking slices of cake and 1/2 doz mini cupcakes.

    2 Replies
    1. re: viperlush

      As it was, I have just enough left-overs to feed my family tonight. I'm looking forward to enjoying the meal without the work involved in serving, and I'm happy not to have to cook again.

      There is no way that I would have restricted anyone's helpings at the dinner to allow for the take-out order. I told everyone to eat up. And they did.

      1. re: lafarrell

        Glad you have enough for another meal. Bonus!
        I adore leftovers.

    2. No, you're not mistaken in that it was a completely rude request. Glad it worked out that the "to go" package for someone who was a last minute invite ended up being a not-to-go package.

      I would suspect that the first guest told the the other guest that the expected to-go package was not well received.

      1. Very rude. If the daughter was so sick then she didn't need food anyway.

        1 Reply
        1. re: kpaxonite

          That's my thought, too. Most people don't like the visual of food, let alone have an appetite.

          I'd feel like a crappy mom if I expected someone else to care for my sick child.
          Actually, I'd feel like a did a crappy job as a mom if my grown daughter couldn't feed herself when sick.
          It's not hard- open a can if you have to!

        2. I would never ask that dinner be packed up for a member of my family who was home sick and unable to attend.
          As a host, I would offer, however. If I had enough for leftovers, that is.

          The thing is, this daughter is a grown ass woman and should never expect you to feed her.

          Do you have any idea who this was coming from? The mom or the daughter?

          1 Reply
          1. re: monavano

            I have no idea who the request came from originally, since I didn't follow up on it. It's strange too since they didn't even know what I was serving. It may not have been her cup of tea anyway and the whole thing could have landed in the trash after all.

            This is a grown women who was home with her teenaged brother. They live down the street from a deli, so starvation was not a concern. What's more, the food would have been nearly two hours in the car and would not have arrived until nearly 8pm. I thought it was ridiculous, as well as rude.

          2. strange request - if phrased as "absent guest X LOVES your cooking and is sooo disappointed not to make it and would it be possible to..." that would seem ok to me but as an entitlement it's odd and rude. The request should have been made at the end of the meal in any case.

            1 Reply