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How To Eat An Apple

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  1. That's brilliant and resourceful.

    1. Mother nature's toothbrush! Also pretty good halved, cored, and baked with cinnamon and a pork roast or in the cavity of a roast duck...

      1 Reply
      1. re: Veggo

        That's so true about the toothbrush.

      2. This topic seems.....familiar.

        1. I feel born again. I can't wait to grab a bag of apples and begin my new life for the very first time.

          1. I don't get it. What's stopping anyone from eating all of the apple (like I do) and still starting from the side?


            7 Replies
            1. re: linguafood


              I eat the whole thing. Except for the stem.

              I'm waiting for the stemless apple (a la the seedless watermelon) so I can truly eat the "whole" apple.

              1. re: ipsedixit

                I don't get the fear of eating the seeds. In order to actually ingest any cyanide, you'd have to chew the fuck out of them, and I would think that most people who eat the core (along with the seeds) don't tend to do that. So the seeds pretty much pass through ya undigested.

                Maybe I just don't eat apples often enough to worry about this, but I know that my sister eats apples WHOLE (save for the stem) and has been doing so for 40 years without any ill effects.

                1. re: linguafood

                  I've never "chewed the fuck" (sounds enticing) out of anything. Gum maybe. Anyway, maybe she has built up a cyanide tolerance.

                  1. re: JeffroCGC

                    Well sounds like we all agree, then. Woot.

                  2. re: linguafood

                    I rarely, if ever, chew the seeds.

                    Much less "the fuck out of them".

                    My poop is evidence of that. I've looked.

                    1. re: linguafood

                      You would have to eat about 18 apples at once, AND chew the seeds to a fine pulp to cause harm.


                      1. re: Sooeygun

                        Yep. Which was my point from the day this thread started.

                2. Maybe in my next life, if I come back as a horse. In my current human form, I'm going to continue not eating the core and the seeds.

                  5 Replies
                  1. re: small h

                    Horses have helped spread appleseeds before Johnny did.

                    1. re: Veggo

                      Yes, but I prefer Johnny's technique.

                    2. re: small h

                      Well, you really shouldn't eat the seeds. At least not too many of them

                        1. re: Shellhead

                          But not enough to harm you.

                          I don't like the core because of the texture. Not through any misplaced fear of cyanide.

                    3. Had a sad, untended apple tree in back yard. It produced relatively "ugly" red delicious apples... tasty apple sauce, but not pretty enough to eat out of hand. When they'd start dropping off tree, dog (goofy red Dobie) would snack on them... eating everything, stem and all. Recalled the whole cyanide thing so asked vet about it... wasn't looking forward to doing a daily clean-up of fallen apples as well as... well, you know... from back yard. Was told a dog (especially a LARGE one) would have to consume CUPS of just the seeds for it to be remotely worrisome.

                      1. I have never seen anyone eat the core of an apple. EVER. Sounds a little too tough and fibrous for me.

                        2 Replies
                        1. re: TSAW

                          Wow, really? Maybe it's an American thing.

                          1. re: TSAW

                            That's what I thought until I tried it.

                          2. That's about a minute and fifteen seconds that I wasted in my life

                            1. I eat pears that way all the time. I find a pear's core to be very tender. And apple? Hmmmm... will have to try it next time.

                              Anyone ever seen this way to peel a banana? I have been doing it recently and it really is easier and there are a lot less "strings" when peeled this way.


                              1. I'm sorry but I can't bring myself to eat that lil apple asshole thing on the bottom.

                                25 Replies
                                1. re: jrvedivici

                                  Shave & bleach first?

                                  It likely is cleaner than any other asshole you ever ate.

                                  1. re: linguafood

                                    Hahahaha I think waxing is a safer alternative when dealing with that area!

                                    Love it Lingua great response!

                                      1. re: linguafood

                                        I tried Lingua, I tried so hard but just couldn't do it.

                                          1. re: jrvedivici

                                            You're missing out on the earthy goodness

                                            1. re: JeffroCGC

                                              Ate another apple asshole today. mmmmm

                                              1. re: JeffroCGC

                                                You're a better man than me Jeffro...........

                                                1. re: jrvedivici

                                                  Quite amazing actually that when you eat an apple this way it's like the core isn't even there. Who knew?

                                                  1. re: JeffroCGC

                                                    Oh, but the core *is* there, along with that nasty bit called the calyx and stamen (which Jeffro describes so well as as the "asshole").

                                                    Fitting then, that the chief benefit accrues to the eater's colon.

                                                    1. re: kaleokahu

                                                      meh, it's delicious. Whatever ;)

                                                      And I can't take credit for calling it the asshole. That honor goes to jrvedivici

                                                      1. re: JeffroCGC

                                                        So glad you got over your fear of apple seeds!

                                                        1. re: linguafood

                                                          Oh, I'm not eating the seeds. I'm gonna plant em

                                                          1. re: JeffroCGC

                                                            So you pick them out one by one while you're eating the core?

                                                            God, whatta hassle.

                                                            1. re: linguafood

                                                              Yeah, it's a hassle. Life sucks then you die. What you gonna do? I'll tell you what. Eat them apple assholes and NOT LOOK BACK! Balls to the walls! YEAAHHH!!!

                                                          2. re: linguafood

                                                            You are happy he is over his fear of seeds, I'm afraid of the apple asshole and I'm a weirdo. Sheeeesh!!!

                                            1. re: Chemicalkinetics

                                              Nor will I. We have degenerated from such nice sentiments as "you are the apple of my eye" to "you are the asshole of my apple".

                                                1. re: Chemicalkinetics

                                                  You have to CK, you cannot contribute to this sub thread of mine without at least trying the apple asshole! Do it!! I tried, I gagged, I'm not ashamed to admit it.

                                                2. re: Veggo

                                                  " "you are the asshole of my apple"."

                                                  So you recommend that I say this to my husband?

                                                  1. re: sandylc

                                                    Only if you have an ironclad pre-nup and a high net worth...:)

                                                  2. re: Veggo

                                                    Veggo, you will always be the asshole of my apple! lol

                                              1. Cute boy in the video.

                                                1. A solution in search of a problem?

                                                  1. I have a better method that allows me to eat virtually the entire apple except for the core: cut the apple top to bottom into quarters, then cut a small wedge from each to remove the core and seeds, as well as the stem and the tuft at the top. Minimal waste, maximal apple goodness.

                                                    1 Reply
                                                    1. re: BobB

                                                      That's actually exactly what I do.

                                                    2. Just got some local McCouns up here in CT. Let me tell you, the core on these apples are tough! Even eating them from the top down, or bottom up doesn't make the core anymore easier to eat.

                                                      1 Reply