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Mar 30, 2014 12:43 PM

Smacking and Slurping: Loud Eater Stories

My sister used to work next to a loud eater who she called "Slurpy." I didn't understand why it bothered her so until now.

I share an office with a guy who is a loud eater. Every morning, coffee. Sluuurrrppp. Every sip, long after it could possibly be necessary because the coffee is hot. Lunch: sandwich and chips. Smack, chomp, slurp on the beverage. I never look at his face during this but clearly he is chewing with his mouth open. I think he may have loose dentures. Sometimes the sound of it is almost nauseating. This is five days a week, y'all!

A few days a co-worker came to talk to him while I was eating, and he did the usual with the added bonus of talking with his mouth full. I had to leave the room.

Other than that and the occasional excessively gassy day, he's a good officemate. He is socially awkward and I think he would feel humiliated if confronted with this, so I do not intend to do so.

I'm curious about your experiences with this type of eater, particularly if you deal with it on a regular basis.

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  1. One of my bosses is a loud eater. After loudly consuming his sandwich, chips, and pop he sucks air through his teeth for a good 30 minutes afterward. It drives me crazy.

    Sometimes I run work errands while he eats.

    2 Replies
    1. re: UTgal

      There are several people at work who routinely leave the room for up to an hour to avoid listening to a noisy coworker.

      1. "I didn't understand why it bothered her so until now."

        I'm pretty tolerant, but loud eating at every occasion upon which food or drink enters someone's mouth is really frustrating. I have a coworker who is like this. We all sit quietly and look at each other while he makes a ruckus at his desk. I would never say anything, but it's quite distracting.

        1 Reply
        1. re: fldhkybnva

          I once worked with 'Wady'. As in a 'wad' of money.
          He and his wife while on a driving holiday had come upon an eighteen wheeler in the ditch and hundreds of boxes of hot dog wieners. They loaded their car with God knows how many boxes. Upon returning to work Wady would, every day for months bring two wieners in a thermos of hot water. He's remove the now limp gray wieners from the thermos and put them in a bowl with a cold can of spaghetti. Then proceed to 'smack' his way through lunch with an open mouth and a non-stop stream of crude misogynistic jokes punctuated with some loud farts.
          At that time the work crew was all male. Then two young women were hired and good old Wady continued his behavior for a few days. The tour foreman warned Wady to stop but he didn't.
          One lunch he was busy telling us about his latest trip to the local 'porn' shop when one of the young women stood up and came over to him and scooped up a handful of cold spaghetti and hot dog and smeared it in his face. His reaction? A nice big fart and laughter.
          Some one else on the crew did something similar to him another time.
          He decided to 'move on' some time later. I think he and his wife bought the 'porn' shop.
          As Ron White says: "You can't fix stupid".

        2. One of my dearest friends and co-workers (he was one of my groomsmen, too) has atrocious table manners: Elbows on the table, hovering over his food to keep the wild animals at bay, talking with food in his mouth, slurping and smacking all the while. Mrs. ricepad refuses to eat at the same table with him unless it's absolutely unavoidable. We no longer work in the same office, and in fact we seldom see each other after job transfers took us hundreds of miles away, so fortunately it's not nearly the problem it used to be.

          2 Replies
          1. re: ricepad

            Hundreds of miles away... I'll bet when the wind is blowing from where he is, you can still hear him!

            1. re: Tripeler

              It's so bad that when I tell Mrs. ricepad that [dear friend] is going to be in town, the first thing out of her mouth is, "We don't have to eat with him, do we?"

          2. Smacking, slurping and loudly sucking are all part of the experience of eating in a ramen shop in Japan. After that, nothing really bothers me any more.

            1. eons ago I worked in a cubicle and the next cubicle over housed a coffee slurper. just like yours, Sluuurrrppp. Every sip, long after it could possibly be necessary because the coffee is hot. And many cups of coffee over the course of the day. still irks me today, many years later.

              presently, my administrative assistant chews her lunch in a very loud and annoying way. Smacking, slurping and loudly sucking. She needs attention. It ain't gonna come from me, so at 12:30 each day, if I'm in the office, I'll just go outside and find something to do for a short while....