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ABOUT- whom to serve wine first

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anischit Mar 25, 2014 12:21 AM

I just have a query,
If there are two couples in a same table and a lady orders for a bottle of wine then who will you serve?
what i did was --
i gave to taste it to the lady who ordered, then when she approved the wine okay to be served i 1st served another lady, 2nd the lady who tasted it and then to the both gentlemen.

was it correct or should i have served the lady 1st and two gentlemen and the lady who tasted at last???

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  1. daislander RE: anischit Mar 25, 2014 12:24 AM

    lady who ordered and tasted served first, then the other lady then 2 men.

    1. i
      INDIANRIVERFL RE: anischit Mar 25, 2014 03:06 AM

      Let us try the gender neutral approach. Age before beauty. Then the individual who selected and approved the wine should be perceived as the host and be served last.

      1. Locutus RE: anischit Mar 25, 2014 03:08 AM

        You pour from the left. So you go around the table clockwise. No women first or age. You are a waiter. you know how to serve

        2 Replies
        1. re: Locutus
          bagelman01 RE: Locutus Mar 25, 2014 04:30 AM

          Locutus..........................
          Age matters, Gender may matter, too. By calling the pourer a waiter, not server (gender neutral), you seem to be old enough to remember when ladies were served first and there was deference to our elders.

          If the two couples appear to be less than 40 years of age it probably does not matter to them, 40 to 60 maybe, senior citizens, definitely.
          My wife or mother would not be happy if the men were served first by a waiter.

          That said, these patrons appear to have adjusted to 'modern times' as a lady would not have placed the wine order in the no so distant past.

          In a fine restaurant, Mrs. B and I discuss our choices and I still place the orders, telling the server that the lady will have xxxx and I'll have yyyy. Not chauvinist, chivalrist!

          1. re: bagelman01
            d
            DGresh RE: bagelman01 Mar 25, 2014 05:40 AM

            I'm pretty modern, and right in the middle of your "maybe" range, and I would think it "wrong" to serve the men first. I think the way the OP did it is ok, and would in fact be my "first choice" of the options. I think it's also ok to do the first woman last of all, as the host. But in between, women should go first.

        2. LindaWhit RE: anischit Mar 25, 2014 07:32 AM

          You serve it first to the person who ordered the wine for the taste. Etiquette would then say the remaining women, and then the gentlemen. So I believe what you did was correct.

          2 Replies
          1. re: LindaWhit
            Midlife RE: LindaWhit Mar 27, 2014 11:52 PM

            Hmmmmm. LindaWhit, no offense, but I think an English teacher wound have some fun with your first sentence. Not sure exactly what the grammar rule might be, but I can see the confusion it caused.

            1. re: Midlife
              LindaWhit RE: Midlife Mar 28, 2014 06:32 AM

              True, poorly worded on my part. So change it to "You serve the taste to the person who ordered the wine."

          2. m
            mexivilla RE: anischit Mar 27, 2014 08:56 AM

            It looks like I disagree with the other responses. The lady who ordered the wine should be served last.
            Just consider if at the table there were four women then that would be the order of service.

            1 Reply
            1. re: mexivilla
              a
              anischit RE: mexivilla Mar 27, 2014 05:35 PM

              yes mexivilla,
              but according to you there would be 2 gentlemen served before a lady so why not lady and lady and gentlemen the last?

            2. s
              sedimental RE: anischit Mar 27, 2014 06:34 PM

              I probably would have served the lady first, the two men (guests) next...and lady that ordered it (host ) last.

              But I subscribe to the more updated business class of
              "other first" or "guest first" rule, more than the old "ladies first" etiquette most of the time.

              1. hotoynoodle RE: anischit Mar 29, 2014 07:05 AM

                having worked as a fine-dining sommelier for a long time, gender-preferential service is finished, sorry. whomever orders is shown the bottle, given a taste to approve and then service continues clockwise around, finishing with the person who ordered.

                if it's not a round table, you still want to proceed clockwise instead of crossing back and forth from lady to man. it's less obtrusive.

                1 Reply
                1. re: hotoynoodle
                  s
                  sedimental RE: hotoynoodle Mar 29, 2014 10:19 AM

                  That only makes sense. I have never had a server dash around trying to pour for the women first at a larger table. That would look and feel ridiculous. As a woman that often orders wine for my table, I would be a bit insulted if I were not treated as the "host" of the wine...when I am ordering, tasting and paying.

                2. girloftheworld RE: anischit Mar 29, 2014 07:16 AM

                  think of it like a cermony
                  1. person orders a wine becomes the host of the wine( even if not of the party is saying I wish to share this)
                  2. person tastes wine ( assume person approves)
                  3. Server then begins the pour clockwise around the table(to cross the table with alchole is rude in some cultures and to run back and forth becuse of gender is not very ellgent or efficent)
                  4. the final pour ends with the person who ordered the wine

                  3 Replies
                  1. re: girloftheworld
                    letsindulge RE: girloftheworld Mar 29, 2014 11:58 AM

                    .

                    1. re: girloftheworld
                      letsindulge RE: girloftheworld Mar 29, 2014 11:58 AM

                      girloftheworld is exactly correct.

                      1. re: letsindulge
                        Locutus RE: letsindulge Mar 29, 2014 12:34 PM

                        i said all that days ago and everyone said i was wrong.

                        looking for crow.gif to post here

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