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Packing food at house parties

I have a cousin who starts to pack food the moment she sits down at a table to eat at my house. She'd say, oh, this tastes great, can I get some containers to pack this and that too? I can eat these later for dinner tonight..oh, I can pack this for my son. I don't have a problem sharing food with people if there is any leftovers(though it makes my husband a bit sad..haha) but asking for containers the moment she tastes food at the table seems a bit rude and annoying.
Anyone else have a problem like this?
Not venting or anything...or asking for advices. Just asking if there are other people who do this.

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  1. "Well, Jane, let's see if there are any leftovers."
    "Well, Jane, Charley was going to have that in his lunch tomorrow."
    "Well, Jane, we just sat down to eat. Let's just enjoy the meal."
    "Sorry, Jane, I've already claimed the leftovers for that one."
    "So sorry, all my containers are in use. In fact, I think you have some."
    "I have plans for that."
    "

    Or you could just serve her in containers.

    Sorry to sound snide. I do wonder if she's aware she does this. Is she, uh, frugal otherwise? Does she do it in other people's homes? How often does this happen? Is she at your house once a week? Twice a year?

    10 Replies
    1. re: lemons

      "So sorry, all my containers are in use. In fact, I think you have some."

      Love it.

      1. re: lemons

        "Or you could just serve her in containers. "

        ROTFLAMO

        1. re: JTPhilly

          LOL and tell her, if you don't finish, well, there's your leftovers to bring home.

        2. re: lemons

          She is a multiple millionaire and very frugal. She has a large bag of grocery coupons she carries around everywhere and she picks up a penny on the street...a lot of things that I actually do admire but then she'd go to Costco and buy $500 of food she doesn't need and would buy $4,000 bag just like that.
          She was at my house over the weekend..she sat down, tasted the farro salad and immediately asked for a container. We had a first bbq and while she was eating it, she asked me to pack her some bbq meats for her son.

          1. re: Monica

            Wow. I would honestly use any of the first four responses from lemons. Although I do love the fifth one. :-)

            1. re: Monica

              Maybe start charging her by the oz or something? Set yourself up like a deli counter!

              1. re: Monica

                Monica, you said "We had a first bbq and while she was eating it, she asked me to pack her some bbq meats for her son."

                Did you do as she asked?

                1. re: LindaWhit

                  haha, i just gave her a piece of foil so she could help herself. Not sure how much of food she packed as I was busy.

                2. re: Monica

                  Now you know why she's wealthy!!! She's mooched meals off of people unabashedly (for years i suspect) to avoid paying for food!!

                  1. re: Ttrockwood

                    Sounds like the millionaire serving catfood instead of tuna fish. Can we say extreme cheapskates?

              2. That's tacky, she should wait until the table is cleared.

                At family holidays there are complaints that the relatives who contributed the least to the meal pack up all the "good stuff" for their own and leave the host (my folks) with nothing. The annoyance is mostly on principle because my folks don't really eat leftovers and I always get the stuff the greedy cousins overlook - carcasses, bones, gizzards, hunks of cheese, leftover antipasti - I am not sorry to see the turkey breast and cheesecake etc go to others kitchens LOL. But even my most shameless relations wait until the food is off the table before they portion it out.

                1 Reply
                1. Sure, most families have at least one of "those". I have an acquaintance in my choral group who does this to the extreme. She is so clueless about social norms that I have decided that she is mildly autistic. She is nice, just....clueless. In the middle of cleaning up from a big potluck she suddenly is asking me for foil so she can pack up somethingorother - me with a huge bag of trash I'm about to take outside. Deep breath. Serenity now.

                  1. I have seen this at work functions. Never at a family function--my family (both blood relatives and inlaws) would call out behavior that was that rude.

                    1. Just say no! Or alternatively:

                      Don't put everything out, just enough for one serving each. Put the rest way back in the fridge to hide it. Then if she wants to take it home, she can have whatever her portion is, and no more.

                      1. I've never encountered this but wouldn't have a problem saying "We have plans for the leftovers." or "Well have to see what's left at the end of dinner. I'm looking forward to the leftovers. "

                        Both would be true, I send leftovers with the man for his lunch almost every day and would not sacrifice his lunch for anyone elses. I'm happy to share if there is a ton of something and we don't want to eat it forever or for friends that I know could really use another good home cooked meal but only after the man's lunch and hopefully one for me, too!

                        Of course, I also wouldn't have a problem saying "No." with no explanation at all.

                        4 Replies
                        1. re: weezieduzzit

                          Everything you cook always tastes better the next day, I am too revved up the day of the dinner to even be able to judge.

                          1. re: weezieduzzit

                            I am not so good at saying no...=( If I had a friend who did that, I'd simply not invite her next time but I can't do that to a family member.

                            1. re: Monica

                              Well, try out one of lemons' replies.

                              1. re: Monica

                                Took me about 35 years to get to this point! I used to be able to afford it, now not so much. Love having people over, but not planning on feeding them for the next few days on top of everything else.

                            2. Honestly, I think that's completely appalling, and would feel right in responding, "No, we like to keep the leftovers to eat throughout the rest of the week/weekend."

                              And I'd answer the same way the next time, and then next time, and the next time.

                              1. I have a problem with this, it would drive me insane. At family gatherings, people will "call" foods but never has anyone started packing them up at the table. I have a small family so in the end if there are leftovers (key point) we usually compromise and getwhat we want. It just stuns me that she 1) assumes there will be leftovers and 2) claims them for herself and 3) packages them while others are eating.

                                1. Is she a hoarder? Packing up foods at first taste, buying $400 of stuff she doesn't need. Honestly, she doesn't sound frugal.

                                  I have never met anyone do this at first bite. Packing up the good stuff at the end of party or holiday meal? Yes.

                                  It does sounds like somewhere along the way she must have thought you were OK with this and therefore she continues to do it.

                                  1 Reply
                                  1. re: foodieX2

                                    Is she a hoarder? sort of...a food hoarder. For example, If I tell her, oh, I bought this new ice cream on sale and if she likes the taste, she'd buy several boxes of ice cream on her way home..and I am 100% certain that she has 10 different kinds of ice cream at home that she hasn't touched in a few months. Yesterday, I let her taste the duck pate we liked and she texted me later, can you send me the info for the pate you had? I am on my way to buy it. And then she'd drive around 30 min to find the cheapest gas..
                                    I like her generally but things like that annoys me and lots of people around her.

                                  2. Monica, you poor thing. On the one hand it's hilarious that your cousin asks for food to be packed up while she and everyone else is sitting at table, on the other hand that's just rude, tacky, thoughtless behavior. I've never heard of such a thing.

                                    All the responses upthread are great. Close your eyes, point your finger, and pick one - and stick to it. She's giving you orders in your house. Don't give in to her demands.

                                    1. She does sound like a food hoarder. Out of curiosity, have you ever been in her home? Just wondering if it is full of hundreds of little plastic food containers with mouldering food.

                                      5 Replies
                                      1. re: Kat

                                        she lives 5 min away. I don't know about plastic containers but she has a large kitchen with an island bigger than my kitchen with mountains and mountains of food from different types of bread, desserts, snacks, packaged food.....i should take pictures one day. it's quite a sight. and she only has a 13 year old son who has no interest in food whatsoever..which is pretty ironic.

                                        1. re: Monica

                                          Not ironic, he is probably on overload. Scary!

                                          1. re: Monica

                                            Sounds like she has some hoarding tendencies at the very least - I hope she at least does consume the food she packs up.

                                            But the behavior is not quite normal - something is off.

                                            1. re: JTPhilly

                                              exactly...I am sure they are still in her fridge along with other leftovers.

                                              1. re: Monica

                                                if she thinks her son would like the food, she needs to yank him away from the xbox and bring him along.

                                                "oh he would like this? well then I suppose it's too bad he's not here"

                                        2. My problem is usually having to decline taking home leftovers since it's only DH and me (usually desserts, so better not in my home!).

                                          This is just awful, and it sounds like you've been patient and kind.

                                          I truly wonder what her reaction would be if you told her that you're sorry, but the leftovers are spoken for.
                                          After all, I consider the pecking order for leftovers to be the hosts and their kids/family, and then go from there, if that makes sense.

                                          Your cousin certainly is lower on the totem pole than your family, and I think your husband has been very understanding in allowing your cousin to take (what I consider) HIS food.

                                          Also, squirreling away some for your family for later is a thought, but then again, you want to be sure there's enough for everyone at the first (and maybe only) serving.

                                          You mentioned our cousin over stocks foods, but does she actually cook good food? Because, she sounds astonished at your cooking (good for you!) and almost frightened by the thought that it will soon go away.

                                          1 Reply
                                          1. re: monavano

                                            haha, yes, my husband loves food and he is the nicest guy on earth... he was disappointed to find out that there was no leftovers of bbq meats(which is first for sure, did I miscalculate the amount of meat we need this time?)...so we ended up ordering from a local bbq joint to make up for it and wow, we found an awsome place so we were happy.

                                          2. Since you're not asking for advice, I'll give you none. I have never seen this behavior before, so the first time it happened I'm sure it would take me by surprise.

                                            1. My mother lived in an independent living retirement community for a few years, and she'd roll her eyes at the other seniors who would bring their tupperware to their daily meal, and pack up anything and everything that was left on the table after.

                                              4 Replies
                                              1. re: monavano

                                                Possibly because they were only getting one meal a day provided and they didn't have the money to buy extra food after paying for their care so that leftover food was their breakfast/lunch for the next day... or else because they're from the generation that doesn't waste ANYTHING that might be useful.

                                                But the OPs relative obviously has food issues...

                                                1. re: Kajikit

                                                  I think it's somewhat generational, but mostly, they're entitled.

                                                2. re: monavano

                                                  My mother also lived in a similar community where dinner only was served in the communal dining room and breakfast and lunch were in your own apartment.The dining room staff had foil wrap, baggies, etc on the service carts and automatically asked if you'd like any of your meal packaged to go back to your apartment.

                                                  The size meal that a 65 year old active retiree might consume and that my 90+ yo mother in the wheelchair ate were quite different. Most evenings there was enough packed so mom had the next day's lunch. AND as the residents paid for this meal in the rent, not a la carte, why shouldn't they take back the food they'd paid for? This is quite different from being a guest in somebody's home.

                                                  1. re: bagelman01

                                                    I know it's different, I was just being anecdotal.
                                                    My mom had her meal included, but like anything, when selfish people take advantage, the price goes up for everyone.
                                                    You get ONE meal. They owe you no more.

                                                3. you specifically did not ask for advice. i do wonder if she needs to be informed that asking at the start of a meal has the risk of causing you and other guests to become conscious about how much they eat and if any is left for packing at the end. it can affect everyone's relaxed enjoyment of the occasion. if i were there, suddenly i am made to be that guy, you know, the one who finished off the last serving of fresh berry trifle and denied her starving son his tupperwared dessert.

                                                  personally, i would start having a copy of the recipe printed out and handy. when asked, i would say: "that's not possible. but here is the recipe so you can try it anytime."

                                                  2 Replies
                                                    1. re: ta0126

                                                      Yes! "That's not possible" is the best response.

                                                    2. Are there other people who do this?
                                                      Unfortunately, yes.
                                                      I ran into it years ago when my brother's wife's family were our guests for the first and last time. They started packing food as soon as they got near the appetizers at the bar and continued until dessert. They didn't ask for containers, the women had ziploc bags in their handbags.
                                                      My late father balled these people out in front of the rest of the family, calling them vultures. My SIL's mother applauded, saying this was the first time anyone dared to tell off her rude relatives. They've never been invited back and they never invite anyone unless it's a pot luck.

                                                      >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
                                                      In 1970, my sister got married and there were about 450 guests for dinner and dancing. About 2am the wedding cake was cut and the caterer boxed up slices, as was the custom, for guests to take home, The caterer, an old friend came to my father and said: Mr. B, I don't understand it, we boxed 500 pieces and we're still short 200. My father took a walk around the ballroom and found that relatives of my new BIL had brought shoppings bags with them and filled up with cake to bring home to all the kids and uninvited relatives. My father grabbed the shopping bags and handed them to the caterer to finish the distribution. The groom's father said to my father...'what's wrong if I send back cake for the rest of the family?' Dad replied, If I wanted to feed them, I'd have invited them.
                                                      >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

                                                      In recent years, anytimne someone has made a request for food early on, our standard answer is theat the girls (teens and 20s) are having friends over around mif=dnight and will be serving the rest then, sorry.

                                                      9 Replies
                                                      1. re: bagelman01

                                                        "the women had ziploc bags in their handbags."

                                                        Oh my....

                                                        1. re: Monica

                                                          There was a woman who used to bring a glass jar and lid with her to our synagogue's Sunday breakfast meetings and fill it with coffee to go.

                                                        2. re: bagelman01

                                                          your dad sounds like a man after my own heart.

                                                          i had a similar experience years ago w/a relative of my husband's mother. We had just begun serving, As she was scooping up huge amounts of food onto another plate (buffet) in addition to her own, I stopped in front of her and said loudly - 'what are you doing? - you can take a go-plate AFTER EVERYONE HAS HAD A CHANCE to eat'. I took the extra plate out of her hand, handed it to an elderly family member she had pushed aside and led that lady to the front of the dinner line. SHe was so shocked she just stood there w/her mouth open. I did not apolgize then or ever nor did i bring it up again. I always nicely invited her to family dinners but strangely, she never came back to the one's I hosted. turns out she was a little afraid of me. Bless her heart.

                                                            1. re: kariin

                                                              another cardinal rule I sorta forgot - nobody gets seconds until everyone gets firsts. so now it's:

                                                              1. don't hurt anyone
                                                              2. don't scare the children
                                                              3. nobody gets seconds until everyone gets firsts

                                                              1. re: kariin

                                                                My father was a wonderful and generous man, gone 5 years now. He didn't tolerate fools and wouldn't be made a fool of.
                                                                Everyone was always welcome to take what was offered to them, BUT never what wasn't offered. Everyone took in turn and 'line jumpers' were not tolerated.
                                                                One of his biggest pet peeves was if a person at the table asked for an item to be passed and someone along the route stopped the serving vessel and removed some food before it reached the designated destination.
                                                                We had a mini blowup over just this point this week. I recently had surgery and am at home recovering. It is extremely hard for me to cut food sitting down. We were having a family supper with two friends of my eldest daughter included. Because of the time it takes to get me seated, etc. My wife decided the meal would be served family style, not plated. I had carved two large capons at the kitchen counter and arranged them on a serving platter. At one end of the breast meat display the slices of meat had already been cross cut into fork sized pieces for my ease.
                                                                My youngest daughter brought the platter to the table and Mrs. B instructed her to pass it to me to take first (not our normal procedure (daddy takes what everyone else leaves). One of the eldest daughter's friend stopped the platter mid trip, taking all the specially cut pieces onto her plate, announcing that 'these will be perfect over that leftover salad for my lunch tommorrow.' My youngest piped up: 'Don't you know that you don't take something that has been asked to be passed, it's just plain rude!'
                                                                When the platter finally arrived at my seat, I placed a slice on my plate and passed the platter along. My youngest came to my seat and said aloud, 'dad, I think there's something stuck on the side of your plate' picked the plate up and walked into the kitchen. She then cut the meat in small pieces so I wouldn't struggle at the table.

                                                                Mrs. B told eldest daughter later that evening that the offending friend was no longer welcome at our dinner table, until she learned some manners, and if invited for a meal, it means that meal, not to plan the next day's lunch. That salad with diced chicken was what youngest planned on having the next day.

                                                                My father would have been smiling if he could have seen this. My kids have learned well. It was the youngest admonishing the offender, not the older generation.

                                                                  1. re: bagelman01

                                                                    bman - I think I sorta (and not in a weird way) kinda love your kids, or at least want a heck of a lot of them around.

                                                                  2. re: kariin

                                                                    what was she going to do with the extra food? pack it up to go or give it to someone close to her or she just eats a lot?

                                                                1. sorry i already promised the leftover for that to XXX.

                                                                  1. "Anyone else have a problem like this?"

                                                                    Nope.

                                                                    But for those who do and DO want advice : just spoon/fork out a bit of the food after cooking(cook a bit more if needed) before plating/serving. Pack in styro/cooler packs.

                                                                    When Grandma or cousin or whomever asks, smile and say "why yes!" and hand her one of your goodie-bags.

                                                                    1. <if there are other people who do this>

                                                                      Absolutely. You're not asking for advice so I won't give it but sounds to me like YOU have a 'mess' to clean up.

                                                                      1. Giving a Grandma left overs is one thing. She's probably spent her life cooking for people and finds it hard to cook.

                                                                        A person who can hire there own personal cook if they want home cooking so bad is another.

                                                                        After the first bite...like she's calling dibs on leftovers...very odd.

                                                                        I make extra usually because after cooking a big meal for friends and family I want a day or two off cooking. I want my leftovers. Grandma of course gets some.

                                                                        3 Replies
                                                                        1. re: daislander

                                                                          How true! In our families the neediest always typically gets the leftovers first. When my aunt was single she would get first dibs and anything vegetarian. When we were in college and po' we got first crack.

                                                                          In my husband's family, his parents had been on food stamps so they usually got frist dibs. I honestly refuse to take anything except perhaps a piece of pie because it does seem terribly rude. I can't imagine taking leftovers from a party that wasn't at a relatives house or that I hadn't brought to the party originally. Sometimes if it is potluck and the host has too much food, whatever we brought gets sent back with us.

                                                                          1. re: melpy

                                                                            The only place I take leftover is from my mom's house.

                                                                            I am usually too lazy to pack and carry the leftovers from other people's house. Too much fuss for nothing.

                                                                            1. re: melpy

                                                                              Me neither..... I would never request leftovers from a party even if it was my relatives. Unless they were overwhelmed with them and completely insisted....

                                                                          2. I would strongly suggest the its not possible and let me get you the recipe route.
                                                                            She was obviously "raised by wolves" as my grandmother would say.

                                                                            Another option would be to limit meals with her to restaurants since she is not properly house trained.

                                                                            2 Replies
                                                                            1. Cousin?

                                                                              As in related by blood?

                                                                              You admit to that freely? And voluntarily?

                                                                              4 Replies
                                                                              1. re: ipsedixit

                                                                                So what? Guilt by association? I don't understand this thought process.

                                                                                1. re: ipsedixit

                                                                                  yes, cousin by blood. i don't understand what you mean.
                                                                                  I don't mind talking about annoying stuff my family does online...it's not like i am saying she murdered someone over the weekend.

                                                                                  1. re: Monica

                                                                                    I was just ribbing you. No harm intended at all.

                                                                                    1. re: ipsedixit

                                                                                      well, aren't you glad you are not my cousin. I'd have created another thread titled, my annoying cousin is teasing me online for exposing my other cousin's food hoarding behavior.

                                                                                2. Um, no. Can't say I do.... Hard to believe the people who raised her have not smacked her hand and told her how rude that was. Shameful.

                                                                                  1. I have not experienced that, thankfully. I was appalled enough by a guest who used to bring a cooler and Tupperware to take home leftovers without them being offered to her. (She never offered to contribute to meals, always ate seconds, thirds, and even more, and waited til I was out of the room to bring out her containers. Bizarre behavior.

                                                                                    It sounds like your cousin is either extremely self-focused and entitled, or maybe is socially awkward. I've known lots of people who I thought *should* know better given their education/occupation/station in life but who are just clueless.

                                                                                    2 Replies
                                                                                    1. re: jlhinwa

                                                                                      That guest would never be invited back to my house.

                                                                                      1. re: ricepad

                                                                                        Unfortunately she came back a few times after that...she was the wife of my husband's best friend. Thankfully (at least for us and others in the friends circle), she decided that the grass was greener elsewhere a few years ago and left him and their son. (That's a whole other story!). While I wouldn't wish that heartache on my worst enemy, her husband is happily remarried to the most lovely woman who is welcome in my house any time.

                                                                                    2. every time I think I have figured out how low people will stoop....here come somebody like your cousin who limbos right under that bar!

                                                                                      I've been known to buy foil takeout containers so folks can pack leftovers after something like Thanksgiving...

                                                                                      but to ask for leftovers while everybody's still at the table? Sheesh.

                                                                                      "It's not possible" would probably be my response.

                                                                                      1 Reply
                                                                                      1. re: sunshine842

                                                                                        s842 - that is nice and thoughtful of you and at the end of the meal appropriate. at the start I would be beyond floored to the point of indicating where the plastic wrap and spare dog dishes are ('sorry haven't scoured them in months but my booger-boy doesn't seem to mind one bit!')

                                                                                      2. Is your cousin a grad student?

                                                                                        1. Monica, it sounds like rude and possibly hoarder type behavior but do you think there is a cultural component? I believe you have mentioned before that you are of Korean heritage, that's why I ask. One of my best friends is from Taiwan and I eat with her and her extended family often. There is what I consider an insane amount of haggling (not nasty) over food, leftovers, who is eating what, who should or shouldn't eat something, it just goes on and on in a friendly bantering way throughout every event that involves food, Which is all of them. My friend starts loading me up with leftovers right at the get-go. "Take this home for your boys" kind of thing. I should mention that all of these family members are financially secure, even quite wealthy. It isn't a money issue - just a deep love of food and the desire to share it with others.

                                                                                          All that said, your cousin sounds over the top and truly obsessive about leftovers.

                                                                                          1. I have seen some really weird food issues and none of these stories surprise me at all.

                                                                                            There was someone in my own family that went through a period of behavior similar to what the OP describes but thankfully she grew out of it. I brought it up to her some time later and she denied it all, claiming no memory of the incidents. How she can’t remember engaging in a tug of war over a giant bowl of pasta salad is beyond me……

                                                                                            I have a close friend whose family members actually get up from a holiday meal to remove food from the house during holiday meals. They sneak leftovers out and lock them in their cars.

                                                                                            Growing up, I remember seeing people (not my family) filling repurposed bread bags with food off of buffet lines. At my first job out of college, the office manager used to bring in bags of cookies from the Golden Corral buffet.

                                                                                            I think there is more than hoarding at work in some of these stories. My father’s side of the family was war refugees with extreme food hoarding issues but they NEVER would have asked for leftovers.

                                                                                            Maybe it is cultural or maybe these leftover piggies have a mentality of they are going to take, take, take whatever they can because they are greedy.

                                                                                            2 Replies
                                                                                            1. re: cleobeach

                                                                                              I still can't get the vision of your family members slipping out to the car w/ containers of leftovers out of my head. Wow.

                                                                                              1. re: tcamp

                                                                                                No, not my family members! Well, I did have problems with the pasta salad thief...

                                                                                                These are the ILs of a close friend. She said it is a sight to see. Her family is very proper and polite (our fathers were business associates) so the difference between the two families is extreme. I love getting together with her for holiday recaps, so so entertaining.

                                                                                            2. As you and others have noted, you're not asking for advice, but I will note that I haven't seen this exact behavior, even among my own crazy family. But we do have a few borderline passive-aggressives who come awfully close to this...

                                                                                              So when this happens, I sort of deflect by cheeerfully saying, "Sure, I'll be happy to pack some up for you before you leave tonight, no problem" with a sweet smile. If they are rude enough to whine, "NO, I mean NOW!", that is when you must resort to, "Well, let's wait until everyone is finished," and if that doesn't work, the even-more-direct "I'm sorry, that's just not possible."

                                                                                              I have a case of restaurant takeout containers at hand because I am obsessive about sending leftovers home for those who want them, but not at the expense of the actual meal at hand.

                                                                                              But as with most things of this nature, none of this can occur if you do not allow it to. And if you are polite about it, you can deflect it without having to resort to the verbal nuclear option.

                                                                                              1 Reply
                                                                                              1. re: acgold7

                                                                                                My in-laws do say out loud that they want so much now for dinner, and they'll take the rest of "theirs" home later. A family tradition to "call" the pasta at holidays. And I always have take out containers in plain sight for all.

                                                                                                I finally put a stop that that this Christmas; due to the eggs being smaller than usual there was just enough pasta to go around (and yes I admit, for DH and me to share a bit of it the next day too). They seemed befuddled as they left empty handed, oh well. My last year hosting the holidays, I decided.

                                                                                              2. Does it ever happen that you run out of something on a serving dish that you had set out for the meal --"oh, that's the last of the ham!"-- and she's sitting there with a container that she has filled with that ham?

                                                                                                If so, it seems to me that at the very least you could ask her politely to please hold off on preparing leftovers until the meal is over so guests are not "cheated" of food that otherwise be there.

                                                                                                (Maybe she is harboring a good deal of envy, and so takes your food and copies your ideas of things to buy. Does she do this with everyone?)

                                                                                                Perhaps tell her that any extra food is going to the soup kitchen --you know (hint, hint), for those who cannot afford healthy meals. Maybe she'll copy you and donate all the food she buys to a shelter.

                                                                                                1. Nope. Never happened.
                                                                                                  I think it's pretty weird. Usually my family and friends do a double check, like..." You sure it's okay that I take some home?"

                                                                                                  1 Reply
                                                                                                  1. re: sedimental

                                                                                                    it is weird, unless it was a plated presentation I usually WANT to send home leftovers. maybe I move in the wrong circles yet nobody asks as not to appear grabby?, I have to urge them, or maybe it wasn't so good and so the dog eats it, ok by me.

                                                                                                    dogs like most everything. they will ask for seconds, but only later.

                                                                                                  2. I think there are some people that are just clueless. I work with someone that I guess has nude pictures of my boss, because she seems to be able to come and go as she pleases and disappears for an hour or two every night then comes back, and still hasn't eaten and brings in fast food take out. The rest of us are working long shifts, bring our lunches and never leave work and eat at our desks. Out of the blue... even tho she left for hours to ? go home? go out to eat? she came back and asked one of the guys if he had brought any extra lunch because she forgot to bring hers..... They aren't close friends by any means, and he had eaten his dinner hours ago. She has contributed once to the community candy jar in some 8 months... and talks about it daily. Everyone else chips in every week or so. Same person is always mooching change for the coke machine because she "forgot" her change. She makes as much or more than the people around her, no kids. I just don't get it. I couldn't imagine asking anyone I work with if... did you not eat all your lunch? Can I eat it.

                                                                                                    6 Replies
                                                                                                    1. re: Firegoat

                                                                                                      She does it because she can. Unless people have called her out on it, she won't stop. Then again, even then, she might not stop.

                                                                                                      1. re: LindaWhit

                                                                                                        apparently I'm a fairly recent participant in this party... I've watched it for a while and thought ... WTF? Found out from long time veterans that she's been doing this for YEARS and YEARS.... and they put up with it because one of the higher ups somehow thinks she walks on water so she can do whatever she wants. It is mindblowing. I keep telling myself... I am not her boss.... she is not my employee... this is not my problem.... It still gets under my skin at times, but I try not to let it.

                                                                                                      2. re: Firegoat

                                                                                                        This reminds me, I used to work for a generous company(before 2008) where they had a well stocked fridge filled with juice, soda and milk for everyone to have as much as we wanted. One day i heard this lady got fired and the reason was that she was stealing large amount of soda cans everyday. She'd stay late at work and when nobody was around, she'd go to a pantry and steal soda. Someone saw her bringing large bags into a car waiting for her outside but she also got caught with the camera. I heard she also stole people's shoes and clothes that were delivered to work address.
                                                                                                        What a low life...i mean, stealing cans of soda.

                                                                                                        1. re: Monica

                                                                                                          She deserved a little jail time, too!

                                                                                                          1. re: Monica

                                                                                                            we had a problem for a while with someone stealing sugar packets from the office...seriously, why?

                                                                                                          2. How about this:
                                                                                                            Do not put all the food out on the table, instead, pack your own leftovers before serving the dishes. There will be less food which you can use as an excuse for her not getting any food to go (if you run low, you can replenish the table with food you tucked away).

                                                                                                            ...or you can find a way to sneak a TON of salt or hot sauce into her take-home containers of food.

                                                                                                            1. Working at a fairly new job, one day the power that be decided to buy pizza. All placed in the breakroom. I was told immediately, you should go now, or you won't get any, after "mr. x" goes.... a guy in another department. I laughed. I was wrong. I saw him eat an entire pizza... then later have 3 pizza boxes full stashed at his desk. (to take home to the wife and kids). The office had a party for something with a buffet a few blocks away. I was working at the time, but they said they would bring back the leftovers for those of us who couldn't go because of our work/deadlines. They told us food was in the breakroom, we went back and mr. X, who had been at the party, apparently gone through the line 2 or 3 times, was about to scoop up another plate. The guy from the restaurant that supplied the buffet actually called him out and said, hey buddy, You've already had more than your share. Let these people working eat.
                                                                                                              He stalked off.
                                                                                                              Later that night he had 2 to 3 plates at his desk.

                                                                                                              6 Replies
                                                                                                              1. re: Firegoat

                                                                                                                I worked with a Mr. X. There are many bizarre food stories (we would get fantastic gifts from clients and analysts) but the one sticks out in my mind was when a client brought in a bushel of apples for the department and one of the VP's claimed it as his own.

                                                                                                                When she caught wind of it, the CEO's assistant snapped, marched into his office and gave him a piece of her mind, attempting to shame him for taking a couple of bucks worth of apples when he could well afford to buy his own. He wasn't shamed in the least.

                                                                                                                1. re: cleobeach

                                                                                                                  President's wife comes in at Christmas and goes through all the gift baskets that come addressed to office in general (not to specific person) and picks the ones she likes for gifts to her hair stylist, manicurist, etc. We used to have a silent auction for them and give the money to charity.

                                                                                                                  1. re: Sooeygun

                                                                                                                    Oh my. If she is going to do something like that, at least she could have the decency to do it after hours when no one is around to see it.

                                                                                                                    1. re: cleobeach

                                                                                                                      Usually those kind of people have no decency and they think the world revolves around them so those things don't bother them a bit.

                                                                                                                    2. re: Sooeygun

                                                                                                                      Do people curtsey or bow when she walks in?

                                                                                                                2. People like that, I'd make sure to, er, send them packing...

                                                                                                                  1. Either your cousin was alive during the great depression of the 1930's,or she picked up the so typical behavior of their parents who were alive during the depression.

                                                                                                                    The positives-knowing how to be frugal and save money,the negatives- the stress it puts on the succeeding generation of family members having to live with these people,or worse yet turn into the same nutcase later in their own lives

                                                                                                                    1. At the holiday gatherings at my grandmothers home when I was a kid there was one particular cousin who was a spoiled brat. She was about three years younger than me but she got whatever she wanted. Her mother would go to the buffet table of food and get a coffee can full of pyrohy to take home for Beth. I don't know why the other adults didn't step in. I guess they did not wish to make a scene.

                                                                                                                      As to the office parties, I used to work for a small company with a quite generous sometimes absentee owner. I was more or less the second in charge of a 12 person firm. There was a lot of work that happened outside the office. In order to get people to schedule their outside work so they would attend the bi-monthly staff meetings food was ordered in. The only problem was the office girl who was put in charge of food was a moron. Two medium thin crust pizzas will not adequately feed 12 people.

                                                                                                                      5 Replies
                                                                                                                      1. re: John E.

                                                                                                                        heh -- and we went the other way last summer -- some brain trust decided that 25 people would eat 15 pizzas. We had leftover pizza for lunch for days....

                                                                                                                        1. re: sunshine842

                                                                                                                          Sounds good to me... I got to that lunch meeting two minutes late and ate no pizza.

                                                                                                                          1. re: John E.

                                                                                                                            of course, then there were the sandwiches brought in by a vendor....the then-resident d-bag went through the 2 leftover sandwiches and took a bite out of each of them, and carefully wrapped them back up and put them back in the fridge.

                                                                                                                            2 people who were in meetings went without lunch, the sandwiches went in the trash, and the d-bag got kicked to the kerb the next day (for a long list of issues, the sandwich incident being just the frosting on the cake)

                                                                                                                        2. re: John E.

                                                                                                                          I was once in charge of all in-office catering orders with strict instruction from the majority partner that everyone get halves.

                                                                                                                          I figured out: everyone will take a cookie, most will just take a half sandwich (but some will take 3), the salad will be mostly ignored. I paid attention to the attendee list and ordered more around 2/3 to 3/4 than the half as instructed. and then I didn't get shit from the lunchers or from accounting

                                                                                                                          1. re: John E.

                                                                                                                            he, they should have hired me..i would have ordered two large thin curst pizza for every single person at the meeting.

                                                                                                                            I used to work for a medium sized firm where they gave us free lunch buffet everyday(oh how I miss that company) and often, i'd see people going for sencond or third for home later..i guess that didn't matter so much as there was plenty of leftovers all the time...but I really miss working for that company though I gained 10 lbs a few months after I joined the company.