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Mar 11, 2014 05:00 PM

"Sundays are the Worst"

This site was started by a pastor to explore the reputation that has developed for the "after church" crowd in restaurants:

Some of these stories will break your heart about how cruel people can be.

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  1. Oh my gosh...heartbreaking indeed. I do not know how people can reconcile that kind of behavior with being a Christian. Truly sad.

    I wonder if those stories come from a specific geographical region or are pretty much random across the country.

    I have attended church all my life (across a number of Protestant church denominations) and have often dined out with friends after church. I cannot recall ever seeing the type of rude, haughty behavior described, nor seen poor tipping as described. Or worse yet, tracts in lieu of tipping.
    I'm not saying it doesn't happen...just thankful that my church friends aren't like that.

    3 Replies
    1. re: jlhinwa

      The pastor who started the website is in Tennessee, and it was first publicized by local and regional media, so I assume most of the people who posted their stories are in that region. I think part of the phenomenon is that in those regions, religious institutions are inextricably entwined with the social and political power structures. For many people church becomes more about asserting their social standing in the community than any spiritual practice. I'm thankful I don't live in a place where church is more about power than about god!

      BTW, this study on religious practice vis a vis tipping patterns is interesting. Basically, it says that Christians are not bad tippers on average; however, 13 percent of Christian report as tipping under 15 percent, as opposed to 7 percent of nonbelievers and 2 percent of Jews.

      1. re: Ruth Lafler

        I think your point about social standing and asserting power is a good one.

        When I first read that blog, my immediate thought was that those were stories from the south or "bible belt." I couldn't really decide why I thought that, other than my own prejudices or stereotypical thinking, however.

      2. re: jlhinwa

        I read about this on Huffington Post today so I'm sure they are coming from all over now.

      3. wow - I'm reading this whole dang thing as I can see relatives in this. (ok not literally, but...)

        2 Replies
        1. re: hill food

          Oh no, I have relatives, thankfully only a few, who have actually done the whole leaving-a-tract-instead-of-cash thing. These same relatives gave me tracts only for birthdays and whatnot.

          1. re: LMAshton

            LMA - golly, and the only response you can make, oh how thoughtful for my eternal soul. the only time I have done anything like that was around 1985 and a loose group of people across the US were trying to bankrupt Jerry Falwell's 'Moral Majority' making use of their 1-800 #'s for questions of faith, the heart and how to fix stained grout. Every pre-paid envelope they sent was returned with a heart-breaking tale of poverty and a few coupons for putt-putt golf. just enough to keep them spending money on MANY dead-ends.

            eventually they did crumble, it took a few years, but gave us a chuckle.

        2. For a brief period of time in college, I waited tables at a seafood camp restaurant just down the road from a very well-known Christian theme park/compound. Folks would often come hit the all you can eat fried fish after spending some time there. I was trying to put myself through college and pay the bills at my crap apartment. The frequency with which I received prayer cards in lieu of money for a tip was amazing.

          11 Replies
          1. re: debbiel

            My mind is still boggled by all the people who go to a restaurant on Sunday and then blast the server for working on Sunday (or even use that as a justification for not tipping). If they feel that way they should stay home, instead of going to a restaurant and demanding service from people they think shouldn't be there!

            1. re: Ruth Lafler

              <blast the server for working on Sunday>

              Hypocrisy perhaps? How's going out to eat at a restaurant any different than working at the restaurant? Love to see how people make up their own rules to suit their own needs. Oh, the self-righteousness of it all.
              Staying home and resting is staying home and resting.

              1. re: Ruth Lafler

                These were mostly Friday/Saturday evening shifts, but the same thing did happen on the Sunday shifts.

                1. re: Ruth Lafler

                  If you REALLY feel that people shouldn't work on Sunday, then don't go to a restaurant where people have to work to cater to you... don't go to the movies either, or put gas in your car, or stop at the 7-11 for a soda - somebody has to be working... I do NOT like DH working on Sunday but that's not because of 'church' it's because he works hard enough during the rest of the week and he needs a break! Sundays are for doing the things that 'I' want to do with him, which includes church... but also going out to eat or buying groceries or going on an outing. But we'd never be scungy enough not to tip our poor wait staff!

                  1. re: Kajikit

                    exactly! that is the proper response: if people shouldn't work on sundays, where would people eat after church? wonder if anyone has pointed out the hypocrisy? and if so, what was the response?

                    however, my theory is that going to a restaurant after church means the high-and-mighty can play a heads-i win/tails-you-lose game. servers perceived to be christian can be criticized for working on the sabbath. those who are not present an opportunity to spread the good news. in both situations, it's the server who gets stiffed.

                    1. re: wonderwoman

                      wonder - how would a server respond other than a sweet-as-pie: "Honey if you weren't here I wouldn't be either and just living on the streets without a job! isn't that funny how it works!!"

                      1. re: hill food

                        perfect! that is exactly the response those criticizing those who work on sunday should receive.

                        i'd love to hear from anyone who actually tried it.

                      2. re: wonderwoman

                        There is a chain restaurant that makes a big public deal out of being closed on Sundays for religious reasons (I doubt the moderator would let me name it but we probably all know which one it is). So maybe the post-church crowd that criticizes restaurant servers for working on Sunday should just go stand outside that closed restaurant and not-eat.

                      3. re: Kajikit

                        this is why I have get pissed at proselytizers. People of the Jewish faith (the very observant ones) simply arrange for a Gentile neighbor - the "Shabbos Goy" - to come over and do simple things (turn on a forgotten light, fix the stove's pilot light for the meal) acts that are proscribed for some on the Sabbath. and it's just done, no lectures. I'm happy to serve in that capacity for good neighbors.

                        no finger pointing. they are fine and comfy in their faith and I am fine and comfy in mine.

                        loads of respect for each other all around.

                        but next time ya roast a chicken or make latkes at least walk me through your prep. I'll take notes.

                        1. re: hill food

                          HIll Food -

                          I'm a "bad" jew. Married to a lapsed catholic and I don't keep kosher.

                          That said? I try and love a very ethical life, I've been my sisters Shabbos Goy myself, and whatever jewish recipe you want - ask, and I'll see what I can do!

                        2. re: Kajikit

                          I am sure one of those pastors would not be lecturing my SIL. He works on Sundays quite a bit as a cardiac ICU nurse.

                    2. The original comment has been removed
                      1. Lets give credit to the pastor who started that site. He sees that behavior for what it is.

                        1 Reply
                        1. re: Bob Martinez

                          Yes, he does, and he's trying to address every story being posted on the site to commiserate and apologize. I note, thought, that he's not shy about using it to promote *his* church as different.