HOME > Chowhound > Not About Food >

Discussion

was this a social faux pas?

my wife and I hosted a lunch today with several coworkers (including several from western europe) and families. My wife is asian and made several authenic dishes which usually get a great reception.

We served the meal buffet style in our kitchen. Next to each dish was a small placard with the name of the dish, the description, ingredients and spiciness

For a couple of the most popular dishes (papaya salad, pad khee mao), we made two version of each dish. The native version which tends to be very spicy and a much more milder version.

One of our european guests asked me why we had 2 version of the same dish. I said that I know people have different spice preferences and wanted everyone to be able to find a dish they can enjoy.

He took this as an insult and thought I was making unfair assumptions about him. He didnt try either dish was clearly upset and left early.

My question to the board is did i committ some type of social faux pas that I didn't realize

  1. Click to Upload a photo (10 MB limit)
Delete
    1. I don't think so, DukeFan. Seems to me your guest ws rude in not appreciating your effort to please. Besides, a buffet is, in a sense, an effort to accommodate differen tastes anyway.

      1. The original comment has been removed
        1. I agree. You were being very gracious. Had your guest had any appreciation of culture, he/she would never needed to have asked the question. I suspect most of us would have considered ourselves quite fortunate to have received an invitation to your lunch. Please don't let that one guest dampen your enthusiasm.

        2. What's kind of funny is that your rude guest wasn't offended enough to not eat your food- but ate and THEN left.
          Obviously, they have their priorities!

          3 Replies
          1. re: monavano

            I thought it said he didn't try the dishes?

            1. re: melpy

              I assumed the guest in question did in fact eat, just not the dish with the spicy and mild versions.

            2. re: monavano

              The OP stated: "He didnt try either dish was clearly upset and left early."

              Too bad he had to miss a wonderful meal and exemplary hosts.

            3. Unfortunately some Europeans are insecure grouches that analyze every situation searching for a reason to feel insulted.

              (Some non-Europeans are also this way.)