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How Europeans think Americans have breakfast

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    1. Bah, the hammer's not even cocked

      1. Can I get that "to go" please? Travel mug?

        1. We do like our bacon, but I think most Americans want two eggs and don't want them burned as shown here. We do have some standards.

          5 Replies
          1. re: GH1618

            :) One egg, scrambled with cheddar cheese, please. Better bread for the toast, otherwise skip. Bacon less crispy and 2 strips are plenty.

            1. re: GH1618

              I was surprised when I first heard the people didn't like crispy edges on their eggs. If they are fried in bacon grease as God intended, there's almost no way to avoid it.

              1. re: ennuisans

                I didn't realize there was any other way to fry an egg than in bacon grease....

                I feel cheated when I get an egg without those delightful crispy brown edges.

                1. re: ennuisans

                  MIL used to tell my husband the crispy edges WERE bacon!

                  1. re: ennuisans

                    not true. eggs basted in bacon fat with a spoon can easily avoid the crunchy crispy browned hard egg white edges and bottoms and rendering a beautifully tender and tasty egg that melts in the mouth. no need to crust an egg.

                2. to: "Breakfast in America: Bacon, eggs, coffee and a gun"

                  I would add...." while driving a pickup truck and tweeting about it",

                  that's an All American breakfast.

                  6 Replies
                  1. re: JTPhilly

                    Most folks I know who drive pick-ups don't know what tweeting is.

                    1. re: Kontxesi

                      I'm guessing you don't actually know anyone who drives a pick-up. I say that as a gal who owns two, and drives nothing but. And I tweet, occasionally, but not while driving.

                      1. re: MelMM

                        Um.... I drive one. My fiance drives one. His father drives one. My step-father drives one. At least 50% of the registered vehicles in my county are trucks.

                        Out of the four of us, I'm the only one who knows what a tweet is, and I'm willing to bet that ratio will stand when applied to my county.

                        1. re: Kontxesi

                          Well, all I can say is, you can't extrapolate limited data from your county to the rest of the US.

                          1. re: MelMM

                            "Most folks I know who drive pick-ups don't know what tweeting is."

                            Didn't extrapolate anything. I was specifically talking about people I know.

                          2. re: Kontxesi

                            Nobody who drives a pick-up should say "um".

                            Surrender your keys.

                    2. naw, we are smart enough not to point the pistol inwards like in the pic.

                      1. As a European who holidays regularly in America, I instantly spotted that this was a spoof.

                        It was obvious - no American has only 1 egg for breakfast.

                        And the coffee looks like it might taste of something. Another give-away.

                        5 Replies
                            1. re: Gastronomos

                              I drink instant coffee all the time. Boohoo to the snobs.

                              1. re: smoledman

                                I have no issues with the stuff. I often prefer it as I can tailor it's taste and strength to my mood or present disposition.

                          1. No hashbrowns?

                            The plate of bacon reminds me of a breakfast buffet at the Sahara in LV where a very old dude loaded a plate with bacon for himself. He lived that long he deserved to eat as much bacon as he wanted.

                            1. One egg would never cut it. Gotta have plenty of runny yolks to mix with the hashbrowns (which are missing). I'd probalby only have half that much bacon, there has to be room for the chicken fried steak (also not pictured). Last, the coffee really should be black.

                              5 Replies
                                1. re: LotusRapper

                                  No, no, no.

                                  Many Europeans will see American attitudes towards smoking as encouraging the health fascists in our own countries to also introduce bans. Not that I'm a smoker, so I don't really give a shit one way or the other - but I was never bothered by smokers in bars or restaurants.

                                  1. re: LotusRapper

                                    or a nice fat doobie...at least in colorado or washington...

                                    1. re: betsydiver

                                      I'm in BC ...... ;-)

                                      But I'm "oregano-free" myself. Don't have any vices, other than donuts.

                                  1. There are no grits, biscuits or sausage in the picture.

                                    2 Replies
                                    1. re: Candy

                                      Because clearly "they" don't consider the South part of America. HA HA HA! I know you know I'm teasing, Candy.

                                      1. re: Candy

                                        Yeah, the lack of biscuits and gravy is glaring.

                                      2. I wonder which part of Europe this pilgrim was from...the part who ass we whipped, or the part whose ass we saved?

                                        'Merica

                                        5 Replies
                                          1. re: Uncle Bob

                                            Thanks - now I have the theme to Team America: World Police stuck in my head.... Might as well share https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pU9FE...

                                            1. re: MplsM ary

                                              HA HA--no idea what that's from, but that was fun. I see Troy Tempest is one of the pilots. :)

                                              ETA: Probably this is more appropriate these days.
                                              http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgJU05...

                                            2. re: Uncle Bob

                                              Those of us with saved arses are generally thankful (as, probaly, are those with whipped arses). Although we recall that, once again, you were very late to the party - but you did remember to bring beer.

                                            3. Clearly this is Ron Swanson's breakfast. He doesn't care what Europeans think.

                                              2 Replies
                                                1. re: Lizard

                                                  I based my assessment on the fact that it includes "all the bacon that they have."

                                              1. I thought everyone knew it's revolvers at breakfast. Semi-automatics for lunch and dinner. Brunches are a toss-up.

                                                1. 1. Where is the bourbon? OK, I'll give them the benefit of the doubt and assume it is in the coffee.

                                                  2. Gun should be pointing away from the plate (and away from me) and towards the guy who's about to steal a piece of my bacon.

                                                  3. F--- the toast. WHERE ARE MY GRITS??!!!

                                                  4. Hot sauce, please.

                                                  5. One egg? Seriously?

                                                  1. Well, it's not like the English have room to talk (other than the gun of course)

                                                    "Cooked" breakfast (my hotel distingushed between "cooked" and "cold") consisted of two eggs, FRIED toast (delicious, BTW) mushrooms, tomatoes, baked beans, regular sausage, blood sausage (not a fan) and bacon.

                                                    5 Replies
                                                    1. re: coney with everything

                                                      Yep, that's just about the "Full English". The baked beans are not traditional and are relatively new additions to the plate (often as an alternative to tomato). You tend not to find them on higher end offerings. The only real regional variation in England is in the north Midlands (Derbyshire, Staffordshire, Cheshire), where you might also get an oatcake (like a thick pancake - or crepe as the Americans and French say)

                                                      The "Full Welsh" and the "Full Scottish" differ slightly. The Welsh may include laverbread and cockles. The Scottish will probably include white pudding,as well as the black pudding, and may well also have have haggis.

                                                      And for the final part of the round-up of the UK, The "Ulster Fry" is similar to the Full Scottish but will include a potato farl.

                                                      The "Full Monty" would be the slang used across the country to indicate you want everything on offer.

                                                      The Full, or cooked, breakfast offered in hotels differentiates it from the "Continental" breakfast pf cold meats, pastries, etc. Which is, of course, for wimps.

                                                      1. re: Harters

                                                        I have never been to Wales but laverbread and cockles for breakfast sound delicious. Just looked it up online and would love that. Will have to make it to Wales on my next visit

                                                        1. re: Harters

                                                          I've had kippers for breakfast in Yorkshire in addition to the usual, and developed a liking for them. Haven't found decent ones here in California, though. I find baked beans on toast, especially for breakfast, utterly revolting, although I'll cheerfully eat refried beans and tortillas, or hummus with pita.

                                                          My Sunday breakfast (more like brunch) is biscuits, bacon and two eggs. The rest of the week it's a piece of fruit or some toast with coffee.

                                                          1. re: Harters

                                                            A full Scottish will include at least one potato scone, Haven't seen white pudding for years and we generally avoid fried bread. Beans should never be near it either.

                                                          2. Since that picture is obviously taken in Florida or Texas, where are the Biscuits and Gravy and the Grits?

                                                            Here in New England, you are more likely to see a bowl of Steel Cut oatmeal, a glass of OJ, and the morning paper on the breakfast table.

                                                            1 Reply
                                                            1. re: mwk

                                                              Agree - I might include a cup of tea, and a dog waiting for a bit of whatever falls off the table. :)

                                                            2. And the American response:

                                                              http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comment...

                                                              Considering the many stereotypes that could have applied, it looks like the highroad was taken

                                                              2 Replies
                                                              1. re: BiscuitBoy

                                                                I of course was wondering then what is a sterotypical euro breakfast.....?
                                                                In my head it was an espresso, small pastry of some sort, and a pack of cigs on the side....which is damned close to that photo!

                                                                1. re: BiscuitBoy

                                                                  What is the difference between involved and committed?
                                                                  In a bacon and egg breakfast, the chicken was involved, the pig was committed.

                                                                2. Shows what they know. That's a German gun. It ought to be an all-American Colt, Smith & Wesson or Remington.

                                                                  11 Replies
                                                                  1. re: RealMenJulienne

                                                                    Something more like this? Courtesy of Warren Zevon.

                                                                     
                                                                    1. re: grampart

                                                                      Much better. Dirty Harry would be proud.

                                                                    2. re: RealMenJulienne

                                                                      Sig - Swiss with German subsidiaries...Made in America

                                                                      1. re: BiscuitBoy

                                                                        Not the one in the photo. That's an old P220 made in West Germany. I have a P226 made in West Germany (double stack) but I never eat breakfast with it.

                                                                      2. re: RealMenJulienne

                                                                        I agree.

                                                                        They should have an AR-15 or a Colt 1911 (or one of the many variations of these two firearms) at the table instead of that cute little Sig.

                                                                        There's nothing like a whiff of gun oil at the dinner table to stimulate one's appetites.

                                                                        1. re: deet13

                                                                          Not bad, not bad. My choice of classic all-American iron would be the S&W Model 19.

                                                                          1. re: RealMenJulienne

                                                                            S&W Model 28 Highway Patrolman .357 First one I purchased after moving out of New Jersey in 1979.

                                                                             
                                                                          2. re: deet13

                                                                            I'm with you. A M1911. John Browning design and all American Classic.

                                                                          3. re: RealMenJulienne

                                                                            I find the lack of biscuits, gravy, and grits to be the most disturbing thing about this pic; and IMO, if someone is going to serve toast with breakfast, they should serve it properly.

                                                                            Most red-blooded Americans know that toast is best used as the foundation for a hot mess of SOS.

                                                                            1. re: deet13

                                                                              Oh yum...SOS. But that was dinner in my family, not breakfast.

                                                                          4. first, that egg is an abomination. no matter who or where on earth it's served.
                                                                            http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/9683...

                                                                            second, who cares what 'europeans' think???...

                                                                            1. Is this a discussion about breakfast or your favorite gun?

                                                                              Really.

                                                                              1. Get real with those *eggs*. Who cares what Europeans think?

                                                                                10 Replies
                                                                                  1. re: linguafood

                                                                                    I meant the snotty Euro's not the cool ones:)!

                                                                                      1. re: MamasCooking

                                                                                        Yeah. Fuck those snotty Europeans. Scum of the earth, they are.

                                                                                        1. re: Harters

                                                                                          F them if they can't take a joke. AMERICA FUCK YEAH!!!!!! Team America film).

                                                                                      1. re: BiscuitBoy

                                                                                        If by pussies you mean strong and powerful, I concur.

                                                                                        Also, I guess that would make Americans a bunch o' scrotums: weak and vulnerable. Thus the need for guns at the breakfast table. Cute.

                                                                                        1. re: linguafood

                                                                                          "Thus the need for guns at the breakfast table."

                                                                                          Only when dining out.