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Do You Think That Many Chowhound Posters are Loners, and/or Recluses IRL?

SaraAshley Dec 6, 2013 11:01 AM

And are you one? Just curious! Somebody here thinks that there are. Pshhhhh....it wasn't me that said it. :) Personally, I don't know. Lots of posters on here speak of friends and family and social events IRL. I tend to take their word for it, which gives me the impression that most posters on here are like me and aren't loners. Opinions? Hey, it's Friday, let's have some fun! :)

  1. sandiasingh Dec 6, 2013 11:11 AM

    Hardly. I have to keep a lid on it or I would run myself into the ground. We have a large social group locally, nationally and internationally, so keeping up with everyone is a full-time job.

    1. Karl S Dec 6, 2013 11:13 AM

      Why would you think people would discuss it if they were?

      8 Replies
      1. re: Karl S
        SaraAshley Dec 6, 2013 11:41 AM

        Hey, you never know! And Karl, does your response mean that you are one? Jk...a little Friay fun, right! :)

        1. re: Karl S
          ursy_ten Dec 6, 2013 07:32 PM

          I don't know if you meant to imply it Karl, but there's no shame in discussing it... it takes all types, right?

          I'm somewhat reclusive, due in part to my partner being an out and out hermit - but I have an active online social life, which is actually something that works very well for many people with Asperger's (which is probably why I'm not a party animal in real life - I'm pretty shy and horribly socially awkward).

          I love cooking and trying new recipes and sharing them with family and friends, and I love going out to eat - just not in huge groups, usually only with one or two other people - family and friends.

          Reading through other responses, it occurs to me that Chowhound might mean something a bit different for me than many other, more sociable types. This is as much a social outlet for me as a night out on the town with friends might be for others.

          Don't get me wrong, I have friends and colleagues who I enjoy conversing with fairly regularly, but yes, many would consider how I live as reclusive.

          1. re: ursy_ten
            c oliver Dec 6, 2013 07:40 PM

            I so sincerely thank you for posting this. You bring up something that no one else ever has that I'm aware of. Good for you.

            1. re: c oliver
              ursy_ten Dec 6, 2013 08:49 PM

              Aw, thank you c :)

            2. re: ursy_ten
              SaraAshley Dec 7, 2013 01:12 AM

              I appreciate your honest and candid response, as well. You're exactly right, it does take all types. Although I'm quite the opposite of you IRL and am very much the extrovert that enjoys being around a lot of people, I enjoy this site for a different type of interaction and conversation that I don't get from the people in my every day life.

              1. re: ursy_ten
                Pata_Negra Dec 7, 2013 01:54 AM

                INTJ (100% 'I' and 'J', very high NT) with Asperger's here. i consider reading forums being 'social'. otherwise i do go to my regular pub alone.

                well, carry on, everyone. :)

                1. re: Pata_Negra
                  ursy_ten Dec 7, 2013 03:31 AM

                  Ah, INFP here, pleased to make your acquaintance :)

                2. re: ursy_ten
                  pikawicca Dec 9, 2013 05:12 PM

                  I'm normally outgoing, but lately have been more reclusive. I think these categories tend to change as we meet the bumps in the road of life.

              2. pinehurst Dec 6, 2013 11:15 AM

                Hi Sara! No and no. Food is such a communal experience, I would think most of us aren't recluses. Maybe some of us are more introverted and some more extroverted, but I don't think there are many foodie recluses.

                1 Reply
                1. re: pinehurst
                  SaraAshley Dec 6, 2013 11:42 AM

                  Hmmm......I wonder if the person who told me this will respond. Again, this was not my idea!

                2. g
                  grangie angie Dec 6, 2013 11:43 AM

                  what is 'IRL' ?

                  19 Replies
                  1. re: grangie angie
                    SaraAshley Dec 6, 2013 11:45 AM

                    In real life.

                    1. re: SaraAshley
                      grangie angie Dec 6, 2013 11:46 AM


                      1. re: SaraAshley
                        ipsedixit Dec 6, 2013 09:23 PM

                        You mean this isn't "real life"?

                        1. re: ipsedixit
                          ElsieDee Dec 8, 2013 08:38 PM

                          No it's just fantasy ...

                          1. re: ElsieDee
                            Wahooty Dec 8, 2013 11:05 PM

                            Caught in a landslide?

                            1. re: Wahooty
                              sunshine842 Dec 9, 2013 03:51 AM

                              Open your heart....

                              1. re: Wahooty
                                Bkeats Dec 9, 2013 09:33 AM

                                No escape from reality
                                Open your eyes...

                          2. re: SaraAshley
                            kevin Dec 9, 2013 06:52 PM

                            Yes, Sara, I'm a loner.

                            And what does IRL mean ? Is that kind of like a URL ?????

                            1. re: SaraAshley
                              kitchengardengal Dec 9, 2013 09:51 PM

                              I have to admit, SaraAshley, I didn't know what IRL was, either.
                              You'll have to forgive some of us for not knowing all the acronyms out there. We're not all in our twenties!

                              1. re: kitchengardengal
                                Davwud Dec 10, 2013 04:30 AM

                                Bookmark urbandictionary.com. It has all the new jargon for ya. Very usefull.

                                I'd put the link here but I'm work and it's blocked.


                                1. re: Davwud
                                  kitchengardengal Dec 10, 2013 06:52 AM

                                  Yep, I've used urbandictionary.com for years. Even posted definitions in it myself.

                                  While reading a nicely worded and articulate post, it's a bit inconvenient to have to look up a phrase that would have been just as easy to spell out.
                                  What do you do at work, then, if UD is blocked?

                                  1. re: kitchengardengal
                                    Davwud Dec 10, 2013 07:04 AM

                                    Most times I can figure it out. If I can't, I highlight, right click and hit "Google search for "_____""
                                    It's rare that I can't solve it with either of these 2.


                                    1. re: Davwud
                                      kitchengardengal Dec 10, 2013 08:26 AM

                                      I love that Google search feature. It's handy when I'm researching products for clients, instead of typing out or even copying and pasting.

                                2. re: kitchengardengal
                                  Shrinkrap Dec 15, 2013 12:08 PM

                                  "We're not all in our twenties!"

                                  I knew, and I have had this "screen name" for at least that long! Who here remembers the Compuserv Listserv?

                                  But then I spend too much time on forums! Not a recluse really, but perhaps a limited repertoire of extreme interests.

                                  "Fixed that for you/FTFY" is the one my son just came home with. That one, and "LMGTFY/Let me google that for you" are kind of obnoxious to me.

                                  1. re: Shrinkrap
                                    sunshine842 Dec 15, 2013 01:01 PM

                                    LMGTFY is indeed kind of obnoxious.

                                    I will admit to having used www.lmgtfy.com on another forum when someone posted a question that could have been easily Googled rather than registering for the site and making a form post. (trust me -- it was one a child could have found...


                                    It's funny, in a rather pointedly snarky way. You go to the site, enter the blindingly obvious search terms, and it then gives you a code to post.

                                    The unsuspecting click on it, thinking it's like TinyURL or Bit.ly -- and it plays a little movie, showing the search terms being entered, the mouse clicking on "I'm feeling lucky" - and it really does link up to the first site returned in a Google search.

                                    1. re: sunshine842
                                      Servorg Dec 15, 2013 01:31 PM

                                      LMGTFY is an appropriate response (not on this site of course, but others that don't see its use as a "hark hark the snark" delete worthy post) when someone describes (for instance) the street, city and name of a restaurant and someone else replies to say "What's the address of that restaurant?"

                                      Now I don't know about you, but I don't know the street address of even a single restaurant I eat at. Even ones I've been going to for years and years. So that means someone is going to "literally" have to Google that for you. Idiocy to the Nth degree...

                                      1. re: Servorg
                                        Veggo Dec 15, 2013 01:47 PM

                                        Slothful idiocy, with a side of ignorance.

                                  2. re: kitchengardengal
                                    Mr Taster Dec 15, 2013 09:54 PM

                                    Every time confusing acronyms show up, I link to this thread:


                                    Mr Taster

                                    1. re: kitchengardengal
                                      greygarious Dec 18, 2013 09:34 PM

                                      www.acronymfinder.com or maybe .org. A lifesaver for the boomers.

                                3. l
                                  Leepa Dec 6, 2013 11:45 AM

                                  No. But would this be a problem if they were?

                                  1 Reply
                                  1. re: Leepa
                                    SaraAshley Dec 6, 2013 11:50 AM

                                    Yes, I only like to interact with people on the internet that are at the top of the food chain socially IRL, like myself. Totally jk....of course it wouldn't be a problem. I don't care how you are IRL if my interactions with you are strictly internet based and I enjoy those interactions with you. But you know, some honesty would be nice.

                                  2. drongo Dec 6, 2013 11:56 AM

                                    People who respond to this thread are not recluses. So what you should do is to figure out how many people are on chowhound -- and all those that DON'T post in this thread are recluses. Thus this question answered!

                                    1 Reply
                                    1. re: drongo
                                      SaraAshley Dec 6, 2013 12:02 PM

                                      Thank you Drongo for your very helpful response! It's appreciated.

                                    2. jrvedivici Dec 6, 2013 12:05 PM

                                      I am probably as anti-recluse as you can get, so much so I actually seek reclusive moments. I find time alone to be refreshing, I enjoy getting lost in my own thoughts. (yes it can get scary in there) Between business entertaining, teenage children and an active social life I honestly value whatever alone time I can find for myself.

                                      I imagine this is all a part of growing a little older, wiser and perhaps just more content in life. I use to bask in the glow of being the center of attention, now I'm just as comfortable in the background watching and listening, content to let someone else have the spot light.

                                      19 Replies
                                      1. re: jrvedivici
                                        SaraAshley Dec 6, 2013 12:13 PM

                                        Interesting.....I definitely had you pegged for one of the recluses!

                                        1. re: SaraAshley
                                          jrvedivici Dec 6, 2013 12:20 PM

                                          lol You're funny in this thread, I think some of us....ehhheeemmm (Veggo) have set a bad example for you and you're testing the naughty waters.


                                          By chance is today your office Christmas party? Have there been a few eggnog's consumed today?

                                          1. re: jrvedivici
                                            SaraAshley Dec 6, 2013 12:30 PM

                                            My office Christmas party is next Friday! Watch out!

                                            1. re: jrvedivici
                                              c oliver Dec 6, 2013 12:31 PM

                                              You? A recluse? Hardly. It's clear that you play so well to an audience. And (generally) manage to stay on topic while entertaining.

                                              1. re: c oliver
                                                SaraAshley Dec 6, 2013 12:44 PM

                                                Don't flatter him!

                                                1. re: SaraAshley
                                                  c oliver Dec 6, 2013 01:15 PM

                                                  SA, I was neither flattering nor joking. Unlike some CHs, jr seems to mostly be able to walk that sometimes thin line of entertaining while staying on topic.

                                                  1. re: c oliver
                                                    SaraAshley Dec 6, 2013 01:21 PM

                                                    I know, I was mostly just giving jr a hard time! I appreciate his posts, as well!

                                                    1. re: SaraAshley
                                                      jrvedivici Dec 6, 2013 01:35 PM

                                                      lol hater!!

                                                    2. re: c oliver
                                                      jrvedivici Dec 6, 2013 01:35 PM

                                                      C, don't lie it was all flattery!! ;-)

                                                2. re: jrvedivici
                                                  SaraAshley Dec 6, 2013 12:58 PM

                                                  Ohhhhh yeahhhhh...........and speaking of Veggo, where is he?

                                              2. re: jrvedivici
                                                c oliver Dec 6, 2013 12:14 PM

                                                Good point, jr. I'm a proven (Meyers Briggs) uber-extrovert but I need more downtime than my uber-INtrovert husband. I've only recognized this in the last few years. And, yes, to those who comment that the food is the best when shared with people. Of the CHs that I've actually had/have relationships with, I'd say none are introverts. But there might be a recluse in the bunch. But we all are what we are.

                                                1. re: c oliver
                                                  jrvedivici Dec 6, 2013 12:26 PM

                                                  Funny you say "food is best when shared", if there is anything I truly cherish it's a meal alone. There is no better end to my night than walking into a restaurant, taking a seat at the bar, having a few cocktails and just enjoying a wonderful meal (steak) by myself. No words, no discussion, no entertaining......just me my martini and a good steak, that is a great night for me.

                                                  Don't get me wrong, I'm not taking away from those who care to share, I just truly enjoy my down time these days.

                                                  1. re: jrvedivici
                                                    c oliver Dec 6, 2013 12:29 PM

                                                    When I was in sales and dealing with customers all day, I was completely like you. Now we're retired and the kids are grown so my perspective has changed. But I do still love my alone time.

                                                    1. re: jrvedivici
                                                      SaraAshley Dec 6, 2013 12:34 PM

                                                      I enjoy my down time alone, as well. I'd rather be doing something I enjoy alone, than something I don't enjoy in the company of others, lol. I also find that venturing out a lone is a great way to meet new people, and I enjoy the surprise of doing so. That's why, if on a Friday night, if nobody contacts me and the one or 2 people I do decide to contact aren't going out, I go out a lone. More than likely I see people I know and will sit with them, but if not, like I said, I just see it as an opportunity to get to know new people.

                                                      1. re: jrvedivici
                                                        sunshine842 Dec 7, 2013 06:05 AM

                                                        and having traveled for my job for many years, I *detest* eating alone in a restaurant -- the discussion is far too long to detail here.

                                                        I think most of us are quite sociable (albeit along a *scale* of sociable) - food really isn't an individual sport for the most part.

                                                        In our last house, we were *extremely* sociable in our last house -- I kept an entire cupboard full of savoury little bits and bites, because there was always someone stopping by. We had the most room in our social circle, so our house was the default function hall -- and I loved it!

                                                        We're back now in the community we lived in before our last move, and it's frankly weird trying to re-establish our social life in our own hometown.

                                                        1. re: sunshine842
                                                          INDIANRIVERFL Dec 7, 2013 07:36 AM

                                                          Kindred spirits.

                                                          With a 25 by 25 foot dining room, we were also the go to place for our friends. Also the Friday night wine and cheese, full moon Friday, and Sunday brunch. It came to a halt when I found myself buying 4 dozen eggs one Saturday.

                                                          I have the perfect abode. Entertains 6 in the cockpit, feeds 4 in the cabin, and sleeps 2 in the berth.

                                                          1. re: INDIANRIVERFL
                                                            c oliver Dec 7, 2013 08:01 AM

                                                            Friends of ours had a big, beautiful motorhome. He said "six for cocktails, four for dinner and two for sleeping."

                                                        2. re: jrvedivici
                                                          kevin Dec 9, 2013 06:53 PM


                                                          1. re: jrvedivici
                                                            magic Dec 14, 2013 10:34 AM

                                                            That's nice :-)

                                                      2. tcamp Dec 6, 2013 12:29 PM

                                                        Interesting, I wonder why someone would think that?

                                                        I do not think most posters are reclusive loners and I am not such a person.

                                                        1. h
                                                          HillJ Dec 6, 2013 12:32 PM

                                                          Oh SaraA, you are a fun(ny) bird! With the ease of technology on the go, I often wonder if CH's realize what a fantastic learning tool these boards are! I open threads fairly often for friends, family and colleagues to read. i share the boards with many people who aren't contributing to CH at all.

                                                          The sites about all the places we go to enjoy our food worlds.
                                                          There wouldn't be much to write about if we didn't.

                                                          Happy Friday, you fun bird you.

                                                          1 Reply
                                                          1. re: HillJ
                                                            SaraAshley Dec 6, 2013 12:43 PM

                                                            Thanks! :) you too, HillJ!

                                                          2. o
                                                            ohmyyum Dec 6, 2013 01:51 PM

                                                            Haha no, I'm not. And since sharing food is such a social/communal/bonding experience, I'd suspect most CHs are not as well!

                                                            1. lamb_da_calculus Dec 6, 2013 08:56 PM

                                                              Keep in mind that the number of people who could accurately be described as loners/recluses is probably a lot larger than the number of people who would describe themselves as loners/recluses.

                                                              1. h
                                                                HillJ Dec 7, 2013 07:12 AM

                                                                Social circles are a funny thing. They vary so much. And while I can't compare people I know well with 'voices' I'm getting to know on an online food forum, the way I socialize in both settings are certainly unique for me. I come from a big family as does my husband. We have four kids with an expanded family, friends, work connection. We have always had jobs that put us around and in touch with a great deal of people. We are active in the community. We travel. We seek people out wherever we go. Each of these social settings expand our horizons and fulfill our life. No one in our family or in our company would call Hill or I (eta: J) loners, reclusive or private people. We share everything we have. For us, it works.

                                                                But I fondly think of CH and all of you members as pen pals; the kind the 21st Century has solidified for me so easily. A common interest, a sense of fun, access to people from all walks of life without taking off my bathrobe!

                                                                So no I don't think CH's are loners. I think of myself as a CH with an appetite for food chat with some incredibly talented wordsmiths, some really generous home cooks, some really smart food folks who brighten the day. IRL I just have to get dressed!

                                                                33 Replies
                                                                1. re: HillJ
                                                                  jrvedivici Dec 7, 2013 07:27 AM

                                                                  Two questions; Why did you refer to yourself in the 3rd person? "Would call Hill or I"?

                                                                  Are you routinely in your bathrobe when posting? :-p

                                                                  1. re: jrvedivici
                                                                    HillJ Dec 7, 2013 07:57 AM

                                                                    HillJ is a combined s/n for husband and me, J. I do most of the posting of late but Hill opened this account.

                                                                    When I'm home, I'm routinely in very comfortable garb. If I'm out and posting, then yeah I suppose a tshirt, jeans and shoes would be important, yes?


                                                                    1. re: HillJ
                                                                      jrvedivici Dec 7, 2013 08:02 AM

                                                                      Sooooo that night I had one too many Grand Marniers and we were getting pretty flirty that wasn't you!?!?!? Lol jk!

                                                                      So how do we know who we are corresponding with when we get involved in a discussion such as this?

                                                                      1. re: jrvedivici
                                                                        HillJ Dec 7, 2013 08:05 AM

                                                                        The only time you're talking to Hill is on the last Friday of each month. The rest of the time it's all J. FWIW, safe to say Hill wouldn't hold a comment against ya...and neither would I.

                                                                        Would it help if I signed J to each post? I certainly could.

                                                                        1. re: HillJ
                                                                          jrvedivici Dec 7, 2013 08:11 AM

                                                                          That's funny, I just never considered a joint account before so the thought never crossed my mind. My apologies for the numerous times I referred to you as Hill, rather than appropriately as J.

                                                                          Please don't change the way you post on my part, now I know!

                                                                          1. re: jrvedivici
                                                                            HillJ Dec 7, 2013 08:48 AM

                                                                            I've never been offended by a single word you've written J. You're a fun guy.

                                                                          2. re: HillJ
                                                                            Veggo Dec 7, 2013 08:20 AM

                                                                            J, how magnanimous of you to allow hubby computer time once a month....:)

                                                                            1. re: Veggo
                                                                              HillJ Dec 7, 2013 08:47 AM

                                                                              Oh V, I was hoping you'd pop in to comment. Hill doesn't care much for computer time anymore. You should see him txt.

                                                                              But ask him for help, a lift, a loan, an ear IRL...he's your man...and I'm grateful he's my man.

                                                                              1. re: HillJ
                                                                                jrvedivici Dec 7, 2013 09:16 AM

                                                                                A loan!?!? You said that was the first Friday of the month correct? jk

                                                                                1. re: jrvedivici
                                                                                  HillJ Dec 7, 2013 09:17 AM

                                                                                  I said you were a funny guy, didn't I :)

                                                                                  1. re: jrvedivici
                                                                                    Veggo Dec 7, 2013 09:20 AM

                                                                                    A loan? Yes. He will lend you an ear, as J said above....:)

                                                                                    1. re: Veggo
                                                                                      jrvedivici Dec 7, 2013 09:44 AM

                                                                                      I heard he charges and arm and a leg for an ear!

                                                                                  2. re: HillJ
                                                                                    Chatsworth Dec 12, 2013 03:18 PM

                                                                                    What the hell is an ear IRL? Some kind of medical procedure?

                                                                                    1. re: Chatsworth
                                                                                      jrvedivici Dec 12, 2013 04:33 PM

                                                                                      I believe it was explained somewhere but IRL=In Real Life.

                                                                                      1. re: jrvedivici
                                                                                        Veggo Dec 12, 2013 04:46 PM

                                                                                        And an ear IRL can range from a gift from van Gogh to a snack for Mike Tyson to the ethanol in your gas tank.

                                                                                      2. re: Chatsworth
                                                                                        gaffk Dec 12, 2013 05:18 PM

                                                                                        I think HillJ meant that her man, in real life, is happy to help, give you a lift, make you a loan or lend you an ear.

                                                                                        1. re: gaffk
                                                                                          HillJ Dec 12, 2013 05:24 PM

                                                                                          Oh you folks are too much!

                                                                                          1. re: HillJ
                                                                                            gaffk Dec 12, 2013 05:26 PM

                                                                                            And about that loan . . .

                                                                                            1. re: gaffk
                                                                                              HillJ Dec 12, 2013 05:28 PM

                                                                                              Get in line friend :) this time of year it's Ho Ho Ho all the way! and FWIW, I learned about IRL and other fun shortcuts from reading CH.

                                                                                              1. re: HillJ
                                                                                                gaffk Dec 12, 2013 05:36 PM

                                                                                                I see what you did there ;)

                                                                                                But I'd be merrier with that loan . . .

                                                                                                1. re: gaffk
                                                                                                  HillJ Dec 12, 2013 05:44 PM

                                                                                                  Damn, you're good.

                                                                                                  1. re: HillJ
                                                                                                    gaffk Dec 12, 2013 05:46 PM

                                                                                                    Snorting whiskey is *not* good for my sinuses.

                                                                                                    1. re: gaffk
                                                                                                      MGZ Dec 13, 2013 02:20 AM

                                                                                                      Plus, even after unrolled and dried out, the Benjamin still smells like John Boehner's office.

                                                                          3. re: HillJ
                                                                            INDIANRIVERFL Dec 7, 2013 07:41 AM


                                                                            There is a visual I never expected from CH.

                                                                            In only the nicest way.

                                                                            1. re: INDIANRIVERFL
                                                                              HillJ Dec 7, 2013 07:58 AM

                                                                              And my visual of you is equally pleasing,INDI.

                                                                              1. re: HillJ
                                                                                c oliver Dec 7, 2013 08:13 AM

                                                                                Is there anyone who DOESN'T post while in their robe? Well, while at home :)

                                                                                1. re: c oliver
                                                                                  HillJ Dec 7, 2013 08:47 AM

                                                                                  c, what we need to do is petition the CHOW Team for CH logo bathrobes!

                                                                                  1. re: HillJ
                                                                                    sunshine842 Dec 7, 2013 09:33 AM

                                                                                    that would be hilarious to set up - dozens of us yammering away, all of us simultaneously clad in CHOW robes.

                                                                                    1. re: sunshine842
                                                                                      linguafood Dec 7, 2013 09:33 AM

                                                                                      Wait... you have to be dressed to be posting?


                                                                                      1. re: linguafood
                                                                                        sunshine842 Dec 7, 2013 09:41 AM

                                                                                        I didn't say that. Just for the Robe-In.


                                                                                        1. re: linguafood
                                                                                          jrvedivici Dec 7, 2013 09:47 AM

                                                                                          That's what I'm talking about! Looks like it's time for ChowCam.Com!

                                                                                          "Oh yeah let me see you eat that lasagna Lingua, you know how I like it! Shake that cheese!!!!! Oh yeah...."

                                                                                        2. re: sunshine842
                                                                                          HillJ Dec 7, 2013 10:11 AM

                                                                                          Think of the CHOW blog posts! Would make a fun Christmas card!

                                                                                      2. re: c oliver
                                                                                        Wahooty Dec 7, 2013 09:16 AM

                                                                                        I rarely post in my robe.

                                                                                        I AM usually in my jammies.

                                                                                2. linguafood Dec 7, 2013 09:26 AM

                                                                                  Several, for sure.

                                                                                  8 Replies
                                                                                  1. re: linguafood
                                                                                    gaffk Dec 7, 2013 09:32 AM

                                                                                    Yes, I thought the same. Those who have endless semantic debates that are not even relevant to the topic at hand? The grammar police? The beaters of dead horses? I've always imagined them to be loners/recluses.

                                                                                    But I believe the majority here are fairly social beings and really are sharing meals with friends/family/colleagues.

                                                                                    1. re: gaffk
                                                                                      c oliver Dec 7, 2013 10:00 AM

                                                                                      That just made me wonder if the frequently WAY OT posters have no other place to do their thing. I find having FB and a spouse to be excellent outlets :) Mostly.

                                                                                      1. re: c oliver
                                                                                        gaffk Dec 7, 2013 10:12 AM

                                                                                        That's my assumption. (But we all know what assumptions can be.)

                                                                                        I think most of us engage in enough (sometimes more than enough?) friendly debate with family, friends and coworkers on a daily basis. Those who do not have these personal interactions bring it here.

                                                                                        Or perhaps their overwhelming need to be "right" is why they are loners.

                                                                                        1. re: gaffk
                                                                                          c oliver Dec 7, 2013 10:21 AM

                                                                                          You said it better than I.

                                                                                          1. re: gaffk
                                                                                            ursy_ten Dec 7, 2013 04:48 PM

                                                                                            What? Oh, no way. I confessed to being somewhat reclusive upthread but I detest the semantic debates, the grammar police, the beaters of dead horses, the needing to be right all the time.

                                                                                            My attitude has nothing to do with how much socialization I get on a daily basis.

                                                                                            I'm here to learn, share ideas, connect with fellow humans and if all goes well, maybe contribute something positive.

                                                                                            1. re: ursy_ten
                                                                                              c oliver Dec 7, 2013 04:50 PM

                                                                                              ursy, rest assured we were NOT talking about you. At all. Promise :)

                                                                                              1. re: ursy_ten
                                                                                                gaffk Dec 7, 2013 07:32 PM

                                                                                                Yes, I surmise not all recluses are of the semantic debates, grammar police, etc. Just that those beaters of dead horses are likely recluses/loners.

                                                                                                No offense meant to the recluses of the world.

                                                                                            2. re: c oliver
                                                                                              sunshine842 Dec 7, 2013 10:59 AM

                                                                                              I've wondered about that, too. There are a couple here, who fortunately don't surface too often, who contribute nothing to the thread, but seem to revel in nit-picking (non-pertinent details and semantics, mostly) for the sheer joy of being a butthead.

                                                                                              But I think the overwhelming majority of us are quite sociable along a fairly wide range of the definition.

                                                                                        2. MGZ Dec 7, 2013 09:44 AM

                                                                                          I'd say I'm actually more of a misanthrope.

                                                                                          Then again, I'm not the one starting threads on a Friday night. (The strippers seem to hate it when my attention gets divided - plus, it's hard to hold a handful of singles and type at the same time!)

                                                                                          4 Replies
                                                                                          1. re: MGZ
                                                                                            jrvedivici Dec 7, 2013 10:49 AM

                                                                                            Singles? I've heard you won't wipe your a$$ with less than a $20. Who are you kidding?

                                                                                            1. re: jrvedivici
                                                                                              MGZ Dec 8, 2013 05:46 AM

                                                                                              I said I'm misanthropic, not philanthropic.

                                                                                              1. re: MGZ
                                                                                                kevin Dec 9, 2013 06:55 PM

                                                                                                This made me smile.

                                                                                                1. re: kevin
                                                                                                  JMF Dec 12, 2013 08:36 AM


                                                                                          2. LulusMom Dec 7, 2013 09:53 AM

                                                                                            I'm not a recluse, but sometimes I wish I was. And during those moments I stay away from the computer. Go all Garbo-esque.

                                                                                            1. p
                                                                                              pedalfaster Dec 7, 2013 12:42 PM

                                                                                              Some funny answers, but just in case you are seriously curious (!): I am reclusive post-(major)stroke, but I still love to putter about in the kitchen...and Chow/chowhound has been a really nice resource.

                                                                                              6 Replies
                                                                                              1. re: pedalfaster
                                                                                                c oliver Dec 7, 2013 01:05 PM

                                                                                                Well, some of us are serious about this thread. I especially appreciate people like you who let us behind the curtain a bit. It's nice to feel a little closer to our Chow-friends. Best of luck to you, pedal/petal :)

                                                                                                1. re: c oliver
                                                                                                  MGZ Dec 8, 2013 05:37 AM

                                                                                                  The problem, c, with taking responses to this thread too seriously is that it grants credibility to the assertion Sara relates in the OP. That assertion is phrased pejoratively. It's not like "Somebody"* said, "I think many other people who post here are somewhat introverted" or, the more general, "Do you think that people who frequently contribute content to online communities are more shy in their offline lives?"

                                                                                                  The denizens of this Site are diverse - in personality, experience, intelligence, age, physical ability, etc. It's a microcosm. Asserting generalizations about a community - particularly those that denigrate - is a dangerous and silly game. One I question letting folks play.

                                                                                                  As to the instant question, there are those of us who participate here who are equally as garrulous in "real life". Likewise, I'm sure there are plenty of reserved folks out there who are silent 'hounds - "listening" substantially more than "speaking". We are all human, after all, and that provides quite a broad spectrum for sociability.

                                                                                                  jrv** notes upthread that he'll seek "reclusive" moments, and I know the feeling well. Nonetheless, I disagree with the articulation because I'd never express my desire to find peace in the moment as being eremitic. It's simply a healthy quest for harmony and balance. When the spotlights are turned off, step into the dark shadows and wipe the sweat from your brow, 'cause, ready or not, the lights are gonna be shinin' again.*** Similarly, I see pedalfaster's withdrawal and continued participation as restoration and recuperation not reclusivity, healing not hermetic - at bottom, laudable not laughable.

                                                                                                  I could go on, but Secretariat's not gonna respond to the whip anymore.

                                                                                                  *By the way, Sara, why not either link to the post it was uttered in or name the speaker?

                                                                                                  **Sorry, Brother, but I figured your thick skin would best permit the point bein' made.

                                                                                                  ***Perhaps the best example of this, that I can provide from my "real life" is when, moments after walking into my best friend's wake, I was asked by his Mother and Father to deliver the eulogy in the morning.

                                                                                                  1. re: MGZ
                                                                                                    c oliver Dec 8, 2013 07:46 AM

                                                                                                    So well analyzed and articulated. As usual. Thanks, MGZ.

                                                                                                    1. re: MGZ
                                                                                                      SaraAshley Dec 8, 2013 02:06 PM

                                                                                                      It was said in private conversation and the speaker doesn't want to be outed, so that's that.

                                                                                                      1. re: SaraAshley
                                                                                                        acssss Dec 23, 2013 03:08 PM

                                                                                                        ...and who cares?

                                                                                                  2. re: pedalfaster
                                                                                                    MrsPatmore Dec 7, 2013 05:15 PM

                                                                                                    I remember your screenname, pedalfaster, and I know you were away for awhile. Welcome back!

                                                                                                  3. juliejulez Dec 7, 2013 04:17 PM

                                                                                                    I'm a bit of a loner. I could go days without talking to anybody in person. Which is weird because I talk to people at work all day long as a part of my job.... maybe that's why when I'm home I like to just chill out. I do like to have people over, but I'm very much a "behind the scenes" person... not one to be center of attention.

                                                                                                    My other half is more social than I am and has lots of friends where we live (I only have a couple here), so I suck it up most of the time and go be social. When I was single I didn't go out much unless it was dinner with a friend or two.

                                                                                                    18 Replies
                                                                                                    1. re: juliejulez
                                                                                                      fldhkybnva Dec 7, 2013 05:51 PM

                                                                                                      I'm the same way! I can be very very chatty and social, but most of the time I need quiet time alone. I could sit in my house alone for weeks probably and be totally fine. I'm a classic introvert who is very overwhelmed by too much environmental stimulation and prefers to recharge in small groups or alone. I'd much rather watch a movie at home on a Friday night than go to happy hour but both serve the same purpose, just for different types of people. I also hate any attention and am usually the quiet one in the back. This is often hard for many to understand because I appear social in public but being an introvert doesn't always mean that you're shy or always quiet as many assume.

                                                                                                      1. re: fldhkybnva
                                                                                                        Veggo Dec 7, 2013 06:11 PM

                                                                                                        My Myers-Briggs preferences, ENTP, bounced off the walls, to a level where my handlers eagerly wanted to cast me to near certain death in hostile parts of the world.
                                                                                                        But my mama didn't raise no stupid babies.

                                                                                                        1. re: Veggo
                                                                                                          ohmyyum Dec 7, 2013 07:21 PM

                                                                                                          Holy crap what does it mean that I have the same MBTI profile as you veggo? Even before I ever posted I knew about you. :-)

                                                                                                          1. re: ohmyyum
                                                                                                            Veggo Dec 8, 2013 05:42 AM

                                                                                                            I hope it means you will have an interesting and slightly eccentric life journey.

                                                                                                        2. re: fldhkybnva
                                                                                                          juliejulez Dec 7, 2013 06:29 PM

                                                                                                          Yeah even when out and being social I kind of hang back... then I get people being like "why aren't you having any fun?" when they don't realize it actually is pretty enjoyable for me to sit back and watch everyone.

                                                                                                          1. re: juliejulez
                                                                                                            fldhkybnva Dec 7, 2013 06:30 PM

                                                                                                            Wow, juliejulez! I know that exact feeling. I want to shout, "I'm having a great time, leave me alone."

                                                                                                            1. re: juliejulez
                                                                                                              c oliver Dec 7, 2013 06:38 PM

                                                                                                              When out to dinner with a group, if the table is a rectangle, I always want to sit in the middle. I say, somewhat truthfully, that I don't hear great when there's a lot of background noise. But, honestly, I just want to be in the middle so I can be part of EVERYTHING :) Wouldn't our world be boring if we were all alike? And, damn, the seating arrangements sure would be!

                                                                                                              1. re: c oliver
                                                                                                                fldhkybnva Dec 7, 2013 06:57 PM

                                                                                                                So true! My mom is a serious extrovert, but still can't understand me. It's nice we're all different.

                                                                                                                1. re: fldhkybnva
                                                                                                                  c oliver Dec 7, 2013 07:05 PM

                                                                                                                  But, as I've mentioned, I need more down time than Bob.

                                                                                                              2. re: juliejulez
                                                                                                                SaraAshley Dec 7, 2013 07:52 PM

                                                                                                                This is annoying whether you're an introvert or extrovert. I'm sitting at the bar right now while surrounded by at least 10 friends (big group of us tonight) but I'm cold and tired and have no energy to move my spot at the moment to socialize more. I've had at least 4 people come up to me and ask what's wrong.

                                                                                                                1. re: SaraAshley
                                                                                                                  linguafood Dec 8, 2013 08:59 AM

                                                                                                                  Maybe that's because you've been staring at your mobile phone posting to this website, instead of interacting with one of your many friends with which you've (theoretically) chosen to spend the evening.

                                                                                                                  Some things are better done at home.

                                                                                                                  1. re: linguafood
                                                                                                                    SaraAshley Dec 8, 2013 01:57 PM

                                                                                                                    While I see what you're saying, I can assure you that none of my friends were offended and that they weren't relying on me for their good time. Everyone is mingling moving around anyways, I would never think to do this if I was out, say having dinner with one friend. That would be rude. And this didn't continue the whole night. I just needed to get up some energy and wake up, and I did. We ended up going to 2 additional bars that night and everyone had a good time, me included.

                                                                                                                    1. re: linguafood
                                                                                                                      c oliver Dec 8, 2013 02:05 PM

                                                                                                                      I read a suggestion that I thought was great. When out with your friends, everyone puts their phones in a pile. The first one who picks up their phone also picks up the tab for the whole group. I thought that was just super.

                                                                                                                      1. re: c oliver
                                                                                                                        linguafood Dec 8, 2013 02:13 PM

                                                                                                                        I have a couple of female acquaintances for whom this would be ideal. And they can afford it. Win/win.

                                                                                                                        1. re: linguafood
                                                                                                                          c oliver Dec 8, 2013 02:22 PM

                                                                                                                          I told a mature, sensible friend of mine about this and she was horrified! I figured out when Hillary never called me a single time that I wasn't that important. I even deliberately leave my phone at home at times. HORRORS!!!!! :)

                                                                                                                        2. re: c oliver
                                                                                                                          SaraAshley Dec 8, 2013 02:16 PM

                                                                                                                          I think it depends on your group of friends. Nobody in my group of friends would agree to that, or want to agree to that. We all moderately use our phones when out. Usually to check a text or send one. Nobody is glued to their phone the whole time, but a little use is normal and nobody thinks twice of it.

                                                                                                                      2. re: SaraAshley
                                                                                                                        juliejulez Dec 8, 2013 09:10 AM

                                                                                                                        Yeah, it's like, "nothing's wrong now, but there will be if you don't stop asking me what's wrong!"

                                                                                                                      3. re: juliejulez
                                                                                                                        kitchengardengal Dec 7, 2013 08:15 PM

                                                                                                                        At a Braves game this summer with a few friends, the one sitting next to me was jumping and hooting and cheering - because that's the kind of person she is. And it's fun to watch her get so excited.
                                                                                                                        I, on the other hand, sat quietly and enjoyed the game. Apparently she got a bit put off by my lack of visible enthusiasm, and asked me why I was just sitting there... and then she called me a fuddy dud.
                                                                                                                        I just can't see me shouting and waving and doing the Braves chop. I certainly don't feel like a fuddy dud.

                                                                                                                        Maybe she was getting back at me for calling her a bitch (teasingly) during a very competitive dominoes game the week before.

                                                                                                                  2. c
                                                                                                                    Chowrin Dec 7, 2013 04:25 PM

                                                                                                                    Well I don't know about the rest of yall, but I'm a loner.
                                                                                                                    I don't have parties at my house, ever.
                                                                                                                    Not too big on family either.

                                                                                                                    I figure most loners on chowhound are lurkers, anywhichway.

                                                                                                                    1. Bob Dobalina Dec 7, 2013 04:27 PM

                                                                                                                      Recluses? Impossible - we all go out to eat all the time! (home cooking board excepted)

                                                                                                                      Loners? Possibly...but again, lots of dining out and usually it's with other people.

                                                                                                                      Plus part of the joy of eating for the vast majority of people is sharing the experience, even it is with only one or two minions.

                                                                                                                      I think what you are really getting at is whether chowhounds are strange...and that is obviously yes. Otherwise we would post on yelp. ;-b

                                                                                                                      2 Replies
                                                                                                                      1. re: Bob Dobalina
                                                                                                                        c oliver Dec 7, 2013 04:36 PM

                                                                                                                        But there are plenty of CHs who don't go out to eat much. Yes, you'll find them mostly on the Home Cooking board and the like. BTW HC is the busiest of the board all the time.

                                                                                                                        1. re: Bob Dobalina
                                                                                                                          SaraAshley Dec 7, 2013 04:42 PM

                                                                                                                          I don't go out to eat *that* much, unless i'm traveling for work, and I probably post on the home cooking board the least of all the boards. I get take out a lot from mostly fast casual restaurants, but I don't sit down in a restaurant for food but maybe twice a month. I do sit down at bars a lot, though, several times a week. Of course they sell food, but I'm past dinner time when I arrive. Chowhounds don't necessarily go out to eat a lot, they just like good food when they do.

                                                                                                                        2. SaraAshley Dec 7, 2013 04:31 PM

                                                                                                                          Can I just say that a part of me envies some of you that are more on the "loner" side and enjoy your time alone? I get my fulfillment out of life from being social. I need constant interaction with others to be happy and sometimes it can be exhausting. I'm single and live alone (although the living alone thing is by choice, my family is close by and I left the nest by choice, as well as I could get a roommate). But anyways, sometimes I wish I could go a week straight with out going out and being social, but I simply just wouldn't be happy. It's nice to be so content with yourself that you're able to do that, I'm not.

                                                                                                                          7 Replies
                                                                                                                          1. re: SaraAshley
                                                                                                                            Veggo Dec 7, 2013 04:38 PM

                                                                                                                            Sara, your current urges and instincts at age 28 will graciously attenuate over the years, trust me. Along the way, have fun!

                                                                                                                            1. re: Veggo
                                                                                                                              SaraAshley Dec 7, 2013 04:45 PM

                                                                                                                              Thank you, V! The problem is, it's not always fun and it gets old. Ahh, what can ya do. I'm giving myself a lot of memories, though and I'm also always making friends, so that's good!

                                                                                                                              1. re: SaraAshley
                                                                                                                                Veggo Dec 7, 2013 04:50 PM

                                                                                                                                Sara, follow your heart, but beware of men...:)

                                                                                                                                1. re: Veggo
                                                                                                                                  SaraAshley Dec 7, 2013 04:53 PM

                                                                                                                                  Right, hence why I'm single! :)

                                                                                                                                  1. re: SaraAshley
                                                                                                                                    Veggo Dec 7, 2013 04:57 PM

                                                                                                                                    Smart. And trust your mother's opinion.

                                                                                                                                  2. re: Veggo
                                                                                                                                    jrvedivici Dec 7, 2013 05:33 PM

                                                                                                                                    Hahahaha! Don't be afraid Sara, be very afraid!

                                                                                                                                    1. re: jrvedivici
                                                                                                                                      kevin Dec 9, 2013 07:01 PM

                                                                                                                                      Yes, be very afraid.

                                                                                                                                      And you can try being more of a loner, or hermit, or you get the point.

                                                                                                                            2. cowboyardee Dec 7, 2013 07:44 PM

                                                                                                                              Not a recluse. Arguably introverted, but not too extreme even in this respect.

                                                                                                                              I think there are different ways of looking at a forum like this. Some people make real life friends here, socialize in threads, etc.

                                                                                                                              I tend to view CH as a venue for sharing information. If I want to socialize, I go hang out with friends and family. As such, I'm a lot more interested in having an accurate, interesting, and in depth conversation on CH than in having a cordial one. That said, there are posters here I've come to think of as friends anyway, and I'm not above the occasional fart joke in thread when the opportunity presents itself.

                                                                                                                              4 Replies
                                                                                                                              1. re: cowboyardee
                                                                                                                                c oliver Dec 7, 2013 08:05 PM

                                                                                                                                I really, really, almost agree with you :) I'm really into the info, mostly getting, occasionally giving. I'm fine with the "occasional fart joke" but not when it spins off and basically hijacks the thread. And I don't view this as a friend source although I've made a couple of real life, face to face friends from here. I hope no one views this is as their only source of socializing. But, hey, there's plenty of therapy around :)

                                                                                                                                1. re: c oliver
                                                                                                                                  cowboyardee Dec 8, 2013 09:17 AM

                                                                                                                                  There's a flip side to my post above: most of my friends and family aren't interested in long elaborate soliloquies on the advantages of an asymmetrical knife bevel or the pros and cons of cooking pork shoulder sous vide at 142 degrees for 20 hours vs 160 degrees for 12 hours. Course, not many chowhounders are either, but there's a few at least. If your interests are esoteric enough, you have to go out of your way to find people who share them.

                                                                                                                                  1. re: cowboyardee
                                                                                                                                    scubadoo97 Dec 13, 2013 02:58 AM

                                                                                                                                    Very true

                                                                                                                                  2. re: c oliver
                                                                                                                                    kevin Dec 9, 2013 07:02 PM

                                                                                                                                    And somehow fart jokes never get old.

                                                                                                                                    I don't know why.

                                                                                                                                2. k
                                                                                                                                  kitchengardengal Dec 7, 2013 08:29 PM

                                                                                                                                  I am very much an introvert, and my husband is the exact opposite. He thrives on attention and socialization, where it sucks all the energy right out of me.
                                                                                                                                  I work, I have plenty of friends here and across the country, and I am incoming president of our county Master Gardener Association. I'm not reclusive at all, but if I had to stay home for weeks or months on end, I really wouldn't mind.

                                                                                                                                  I accepted the Vice Presidency of the MGs (thus president the following year) in an attempt to 'build my character', to get past the wallflower inclination. Now I've decided that at 58 years old, my character is just damn fine the way it is, thank you, and I have promised myself to never take another position unless I truly want to.

                                                                                                                                  4 Replies
                                                                                                                                  1. re: kitchengardengal
                                                                                                                                    c oliver Dec 7, 2013 08:32 PM

                                                                                                                                    I am loving this thread because of sharing like yours. And, lord, yes, don't ever accept a position again :)

                                                                                                                                    1. re: c oliver
                                                                                                                                      kitchengardengal Dec 7, 2013 08:42 PM

                                                                                                                                      Yep, at least not one where I have to run the meetings and talk in front of 70 people every month.

                                                                                                                                      I'm good with the half dozen MG committees I work with,though. That's more my style.

                                                                                                                                      1. re: kitchengardengal
                                                                                                                                        Jerseygirl111 Dec 18, 2013 11:08 PM

                                                                                                                                        Good for you! I always thought I would take the MG courses but one of the requirements of the course is to give talks/presentations to local groups or man the booth at the county fair. Nope. No public speaking.

                                                                                                                                        1. re: Jerseygirl111
                                                                                                                                          kitchengardengal Dec 21, 2013 01:55 AM

                                                                                                                                          Jersey girl, don't let that stop you from being an MG volunteer! There are so many other opportunities in MG that don't involve public speaking. You're never forced to do anything you don't feel comfortable about. You can work behind the scenes in the demo garden, or on public gardening projects, or with kids or fundraisers. What's your County? I'll look and see what they do there.

                                                                                                                                  2. weezieduzzit Dec 7, 2013 08:34 PM

                                                                                                                                    I wouldn't say loner but I am very independent. I don't *need* to be around people but I prefer the people I'm around be my choice which is why I like CH, it's topical. I'm also self employed and love what I do so I work a lot and when I'm working, like now, I usually have CH open. I'd go mad if I just sat here scanning things or waiting for images to upload to my host without doing something else at the same time.

                                                                                                                                    1. a
                                                                                                                                      acssss Dec 8, 2013 09:32 AM

                                                                                                                                      I'm definitely a loner Mo-Thurs and in constant social-mode Fri-Saturday; Sundays are up for grabs depending on which football game in on :-)
                                                                                                                                      Husband is a PhD student and is busy busy busy; I'm a SW Engineer and writer and busy busy busy; sons are away at college and most friends and family are either as busy as we are or live too far away to come visit for the day during the week.
                                                                                                                                      So friends, family, parties, restaurants, football are reserved for weekends.

                                                                                                                                      CH and several other forums online are reserved for when I am working - all alone - and usually on in the background. Every so often I take a break to read/comment/chat online so I don't go completely berzerk!

                                                                                                                                      1. Gastronomos Dec 9, 2013 04:26 AM

                                                                                                                                        Loner / Recluse ? I guess I could be either. or both. I have been told... that I am an introvert..
                                                                                                                                        I am the only one in my circle of friends and family that has any interest in what I ingest daily. Or better yet, what I *choose* to ingest daily.
                                                                                                                                        That leaves me a bit outside of the circle and conversations.
                                                                                                                                        I've tried to win some over, but to no avail. I guess that effort puts me also outside the Loner/Recluse realm though..
                                                                                                                                        My work these days has me in my car most of the day, interacting with people in short spurts of 1/2 hr meetings and on the phone for a minute or two all day long. I often have lunch alone as I find myself in all kinds of neighborhoods and the drive thru is never my choice of run. Many places look at a single person sitting down for lunch as a strange thing. A "Loner" dining alone. I guess they expect me to eat in my car alone or sit in a fast food QSR alone instead of Chowhounding everywhere I roam.
                                                                                                                                        And I do roam. A lot. Where I lay my fork is home. Carved upon my smoked rib bone, my body lies, but still I roam...

                                                                                                                                        74 Replies
                                                                                                                                        1. re: Gastronomos
                                                                                                                                          fldhkybnva Dec 9, 2013 06:10 AM

                                                                                                                                          I hate the look when you dine alone. I really think it used to be more of a popular and accepted thing, not sure what happened. I have friends who refuse to go anywhere if they have to eat alone.

                                                                                                                                          1. re: fldhkybnva
                                                                                                                                            Gastronomos Dec 9, 2013 06:43 AM

                                                                                                                                            I know quite a few who would not sit in a restaurant alone.

                                                                                                                                            I get the looks. I notice the looks. When I sit and eat alone.

                                                                                                                                            "table for one, please"

                                                                                                                                            "just me today"

                                                                                                                                            I try to eat something worth while.

                                                                                                                                            Some of my co-workers will QUICKLY run out to grab something to eat at their desk. Not to do work while eating. No. Just so they don't eat alone in a restaurant, even a QSR.

                                                                                                                                            I've met people and had conversations with people in restaurants that I have dined "alone". I guess that doesn't make me a "Loner /Recluse"

                                                                                                                                            and come to think of it, those desk lunchers are very recluse loners in their habits....

                                                                                                                                            1. re: Gastronomos
                                                                                                                                              Veggo Dec 9, 2013 06:53 AM

                                                                                                                                              There are too many reasons to list as to why someone may be eating alone. My concern about "the looks" is exactly zero. The very thought would not occur to me.

                                                                                                                                              1. re: Veggo
                                                                                                                                                Gastronomos Dec 9, 2013 07:56 AM

                                                                                                                                                "My concern about "the looks" is exactly zero."

                                                                                                                                                Mine too. I am just very aware of my surroundings.

                                                                                                                                                And since I continue to eat alone in restaurants, the thought of it isn't bothersome, at all.

                                                                                                                                              2. re: Gastronomos
                                                                                                                                                jrvedivici Dec 9, 2013 07:21 AM

                                                                                                                                                I think I stated somewhere above that I actually look forward to the solo dining experience. While most of my solo dining is done at the bar, rather than a table I never, ever, feel uncomfortable about it at all.

                                                                                                                                                If someone gives me a look I normally just assume it's because of my dashing good looks, I mean c'mon it's me they are looking at!!

                                                                                                                                                1. re: jrvedivici
                                                                                                                                                  Veggo Dec 9, 2013 07:24 AM

                                                                                                                                                  Plus all those pesky autograph hounds...

                                                                                                                                                  1. re: Veggo
                                                                                                                                                    Gastronomos Dec 9, 2013 08:37 AM

                                                                                                                                                    By myself but not alone

                                                                                                                                                  2. re: jrvedivici
                                                                                                                                                    Gastronomos Dec 9, 2013 08:00 AM

                                                                                                                                                    "While most of my solo dining is done at the bar,"

                                                                                                                                                    I had to curtail the bar eating/drinking mid day. Lunch would become either just a "wet lunch" or it would go until past happy hour into the wee hours of the morn...

                                                                                                                                                    Sitting at a table helps a lot with my not drinking too much anymore.

                                                                                                                                                    And some of the bars around these parts aren't serving Chowhound worthy grub that I seek...

                                                                                                                                                    1. re: Gastronomos
                                                                                                                                                      jrvedivici Dec 9, 2013 08:05 AM

                                                                                                                                                      Obviously drinking is a very personal issue and everyone's relationship with booze is different so I don't mean to cast any opinion on your position. I myself will still sit at the bar for lunch, if alone, and just order an iced tea etc. My proximity to booze doesn't impact my desire to drink it, I desire it 24/7 regardless where I am! lol

                                                                                                                                                      1. re: jrvedivici
                                                                                                                                                        Gastronomos Dec 9, 2013 08:17 AM

                                                                                                                                                        I used to work in Manhattan up until just a few years ago and I knew a few bartenders that when a martini was ordered at lunch they would comment about it. Mine as well.
                                                                                                                                                        I would sit at the bar in fine dining establishments and at the corner pub. Same thing. I could be at a client lunch, or with co-workers. Same thing. I could be alone and ask for a tall glass of ice water on 99 degree day, listen and watch, then order my drink and food. The comments were the same.
                                                                                                                                                        If even the bartenders were on the no liquor lunch train, then I had to as well.
                                                                                                                                                        It became a survival thing.
                                                                                                                                                        Then again, It must be 5 o'clock Somewhere....

                                                                                                                                                        1. re: jrvedivici
                                                                                                                                                          c oliver Dec 9, 2013 08:38 AM

                                                                                                                                                          In one of my sales jobs I used to call on hospitals and doctors and when in a certain town stayed in a hotel right across the street from the biggest hospital. I'd frequently walk back to the hotel at lunch, sit at the bar and have an egg salad sandwich and a glass of milk! The bartender was always glad to see me but did comment that the glass of milk might ruin the bar's reputation :)

                                                                                                                                                          1. re: c oliver
                                                                                                                                                            jrvedivici Dec 9, 2013 08:43 AM

                                                                                                                                                            C, I'm sorry but that is the most horrid lunch combinations I have ever heard of. Ugghhhhhh

                                                                                                                                                            1. re: jrvedivici
                                                                                                                                                              Veggo Dec 9, 2013 08:50 AM

                                                                                                                                                              Agreed, jr. I'd rather a pickled egg from the gallon jar on the bar, with a shot of Rock and Rye and a beer back.

                                                                                                                                                              1. re: jrvedivici
                                                                                                                                                                c oliver Dec 9, 2013 08:54 AM

                                                                                                                                                                That's such a great lunch I may have one today!!!!!

                                                                                                                                                                Bob and I talk about how back in the olden days in SF, we were all a hard drinking lunch group. But then that really went away. And NOW if we have a glass of wine at lunch we need a nap. But we're retired and napping is one of the best benefits.

                                                                                                                                                                1. re: c oliver
                                                                                                                                                                  jrvedivici Dec 9, 2013 09:11 AM

                                                                                                                                                                  That is such a horrible lunch!! If you do have one today please do NOT post about it, I already feel ill just reading about it earlier. I like hard boiled eggs and will eat them with salads etc, but egg salad makes me gag, don't know why. lol

                                                                                                                                                                  Funny side note, you mention "Bob" in several of your posts, most recently in some of our chats. My first name is Bob, so when you say things like "Bob and I talk" I pause and think for a second, {{When the heck did I talk to C????}}

                                                                                                                                                                  Typical of most borderline or raging alcoholics, One is too many and a million is never enough. If I have one drink for lunch forget about it I'm having 10 and probably not coming home for dinner, or maybe the night. I have to be vigilant about my non-drinking during the day.

                                                                                                                                                                  Quick "Jr" story for you. For years we have our formal company Christmas/Holiday Party, in which we invite our employees and several of our clients or referral partners etc. So at these parties I have to wear my big boy pants, and play the role of dignitary entertaining our guests. I couldn't really drink or fully enjoy myself even though I'm footing the bill for the thing so it was a very unhappy Christmas party for me. Because of this I instituted a 2nd party which is the last working day before the Christmas holiday......everyone brings a dish into the office I supply the booze we close the office at noon and everyone has lunch and stays as long or short as they want. The one day a year I start drinking at 9am till.............??????

                                                                                                                                                    2. re: fldhkybnva
                                                                                                                                                      LulusMom Dec 9, 2013 07:23 AM

                                                                                                                                                      I eat alone a lot! I'm married, and have a 7 year old, but man, when my husband is out of town and it is babysitter night, I'm not about to let the chance of a few hours to myself go. So out I go and never feel the least bit odd or stared at. And I often travel alone and eat alone and have never in my life felt the least bit awkward about it. I also don't think it is odd when I see someone else dining alone. Take a book along, a journal to write in, something like that, and you'll be so busy you won't think about it.

                                                                                                                                                      1. re: LulusMom
                                                                                                                                                        jrvedivici Dec 9, 2013 07:47 AM

                                                                                                                                                        +1 bring a journal and write in it!! Especially after you take the first bite out of each dish, they will assume you are a reviewer!

                                                                                                                                                        Then as the server comes to take your finished plate away ask the server this; "Can you ask the Chef if he ever considered adding a pinch of cumin to that dish"..............doesn't matter what it is, even your salad just say it.

                                                                                                                                                        1. re: jrvedivici
                                                                                                                                                          acssss Dec 9, 2013 08:54 AM

                                                                                                                                                          Too funny! I can't tell you how many times I've done that! I often go out alone to write during the day. I prefer to write in public places and often choose a nice restaurant or coffee shop. But I've pretended to be a reviewer many times. I just take a bite, pretend think it over and write down something (never mind that I am just writing this or that). The service improves immediately!

                                                                                                                                                          1. re: acssss
                                                                                                                                                            jrvedivici Dec 9, 2013 09:12 AM

                                                                                                                                                            I'm telling you next time use the "cumin" comment and it will get you free desert !!

                                                                                                                                                      2. re: fldhkybnva
                                                                                                                                                        kevin Dec 9, 2013 07:04 PM

                                                                                                                                                        I know.

                                                                                                                                                        Or they will only grab fast food.

                                                                                                                                                        I think nothing of dining alone, but sometimes once in a while I do feel a little self-conscious (or whateer the word is) if the restaurant is just too fancy or whatever.

                                                                                                                                                        But some of the best meals, esp when you are devouring a tasting menu, are done alone so you don't have to discuss and can just be enveloped in complete gastronomic deliciousness.

                                                                                                                                                      3. re: Gastronomos
                                                                                                                                                        SaraAshley Dec 9, 2013 08:49 AM

                                                                                                                                                        You males are lucky. I really think that dining alone (especially while sitting at the bar) is less noticed when it's a male rather than a female doing it. I only dine alone occasionally when I'm out of town for business. I'm a lot more comfortable with this than most people I know, the only thing I really dislike about it is figuring out what to do when you've already ordered and are waiting for your food. You have nobody to talk to if you're at a table, and I must admit it feels painfully awkward for me to sit there just twiddling my thumbs. I usually end up on my smart phone during that time. If it's a place where I am able to sit at the bar, I definitely prefer this and will normally strike up conversation w the bartender or another patron.

                                                                                                                                                        1. re: SaraAshley
                                                                                                                                                          Servorg Dec 9, 2013 08:55 AM

                                                                                                                                                          "...the only thing I really dislike about it is figuring out what to do when you've already ordered and are waiting for your food. You have nobody to talk to if you're at a table, and I must admit it feels painfully awkward for me to sit there just twiddling my thumbs..."

                                                                                                                                                          This is what ear buds were invented for.

                                                                                                                                                          1. re: SaraAshley
                                                                                                                                                            c oliver Dec 9, 2013 08:55 AM

                                                                                                                                                            It's only gender-related if one chooses for it to be. I've been doing it for over 40 years and never considered not doing it.

                                                                                                                                                            1. re: c oliver
                                                                                                                                                              acssss Dec 9, 2013 09:10 AM

                                                                                                                                                              It is because you've been doing it for over 40 years IMO. I've eaten alone many times over the years and felt more uncomfortable when I was in my 20's than now (40's). Something happens when you turn 40 - you stop caring what other people think and feel more comfortable in your own skin.

                                                                                                                                                              1. re: acssss
                                                                                                                                                                c oliver Dec 9, 2013 09:15 AM

                                                                                                                                                                Oh, it definitely can be age related. Like many things, the more you do something the more comfortable you become. But it's not gender-related unless one chooses to make it so. I didn't choose to.

                                                                                                                                                                1. re: acssss
                                                                                                                                                                  SaraAshley Dec 9, 2013 10:01 AM

                                                                                                                                                                  I don't care a whole lot about what other people think, that has nothing to do with it. But when I say there is a difference of perception by others when a man is seen dining alone versus a woman, this has been true in my experience. A lot of people view a woman dining alone as an indication that she is lonely. That a woman would never possibly dine alone by choice. I know this because I have been questioned on it many times while out alone. Like I previously said, I don't go out to eat very often alone, but I do go out to local bars alone from time to time. Since these are local spots, most of the time I know people who are there and always have someone to hang out with, as well as I know the bartenders, but occasionally I'll be sitting alone for a little while at the bar while I wait for someone to show, and that's when the questions start. I definitely go to the bar alone by choice, I don't always like making plans around where all my friends are going that evening, so if it's not something I want to do, I just go out alone. And it's also the perfect opportunity to meet new people, which I also enjoy! :)

                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: SaraAshley
                                                                                                                                                                    acssss Dec 9, 2013 10:49 AM

                                                                                                                                                                    Oh, don't get me wrong - I didn't mean in any way to imply that you care so much about what others think. I don't know you and wouldn't assume anything about you.

                                                                                                                                                                    It is just that you said "...it feels painfully awkward for me to just sit there twiddling my thumbs" and I am responding about how I feel with regards to that point. I felt that way in the past and don't feel any such awkwardness now. I attribute it to my age. The change was dramatic... as if overnight, I turned 40 and suddenly - I no longer felt awkwardness/discomfort of any kind that I used to feel prior to turning 40.

                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: acssss
                                                                                                                                                                      SaraAshley Dec 9, 2013 11:13 AM

                                                                                                                                                                      Gotcha! I guess there is hope then that the awkward feeling will pass. :)

                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: SaraAshley
                                                                                                                                                                        linguafood Dec 9, 2013 11:16 AM

                                                                                                                                                                        You bet. A nice trade in for wrinkles, gravity, and increasingly bad STM.

                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: linguafood
                                                                                                                                                                          acssss Dec 9, 2013 12:09 PM


                                                                                                                                                                    2. re: SaraAshley
                                                                                                                                                                      sunshine842 Dec 9, 2013 05:01 PM

                                                                                                                                                                      and an awful lot of men (not all...) assume that a woman dining alone MUST NEED his companionship.

                                                                                                                                                                      I long ago had to just stop going into the bar -- I would take a book or a newspaper and mind my own business, and before you know it, some Neanderthal would come over and announce that Honey, you're just too purty to eat alone. My assurances that no, I'm just fine all by myself (and the presence of my wedding ring) fell on deaf ears. Eventually I just decided I didn't want to deal with it.

                                                                                                                                                                      If I eat alone, I end up stuck at someplace like Denny's or Cracker Barrel, because anyplace decent will draw comments from other diners or the servers themselves about why I would be eating alone/reading at the table/writing/etc.

                                                                                                                                                                      It's not that I care what people think, it's that I detest the interruption and the arrogance that makes them think they have the obligation to opine on my companionship or lack thereof.

                                                                                                                                                                      (and don't get me wrong -- while people compliment me on my appearance, I'm no cover girl....)

                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: sunshine842
                                                                                                                                                                        c oliver Dec 9, 2013 05:06 PM

                                                                                                                                                                        You haven't learned the putting one's finger on any word in the book and giving Neanderthal a scathing look, followed if necessary with "I'm sorry I'm quite busy." Always worked and works for me. :) jfood taught me a great one also: "I'm sorry but I don't speak English" spoken in perfect English :)

                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: c oliver
                                                                                                                                                                          sunshine842 Dec 9, 2013 05:07 PM

                                                                                                                                                                          "Leave me the fuck alone" with an icy glare didn't work, either. I'd eventually have to summon the bartender or just get up and leave.

                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: sunshine842
                                                                                                                                                                            c oliver Dec 9, 2013 05:09 PM

                                                                                                                                                                            WHOA!!!!! Where did this happen? That's really amazing.

                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: c oliver
                                                                                                                                                                              sunshine842 Dec 9, 2013 05:27 PM

                                                                                                                                                                              more places than I'd care to count (some variation on that theme)

                                                                                                                                                                              I was traveling the country for my job and got more hassle from the cretins at the hotel than I ever did from the construction workers I called on.

                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: sunshine842
                                                                                                                                                                                c oliver Dec 9, 2013 06:27 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                I really am amazed by that. I also traveled for work and never had such a problem. And, hey, I was pretty darn attractive way back then :)

                                                                                                                                                                          2. re: c oliver
                                                                                                                                                                            LulusMom Dec 10, 2013 03:44 AM

                                                                                                                                                                            Hysterical!! i love this and plan on using it (the "I'm sorry I don't speak English" one).

                                                                                                                                                                        2. re: SaraAshley
                                                                                                                                                                          greygarious Dec 18, 2013 09:55 PM

                                                                                                                                                                          They'll never think you're a pro if you bring a book or tablet to read.

                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: greygarious
                                                                                                                                                                            sunshine842 Dec 19, 2013 03:41 AM

                                                                                                                                                                            that will not, however, stop them from interrupting you to convince you that they are oh so much more interesting than that dry old book.

                                                                                                                                                                        3. re: acssss
                                                                                                                                                                          Shrinkrap Dec 15, 2013 12:25 PM

                                                                                                                                                                          NVM. It's all been said.

                                                                                                                                                                      2. re: SaraAshley
                                                                                                                                                                        Gastronomos Dec 9, 2013 08:58 AM

                                                                                                                                                                        I don't find patrons sitting at neighboring tables not up for a conversation. Albeit a more brief one than at the bar, but friendliness and dining by myself are together the same, just not alone.

                                                                                                                                                                        And the only main diff I can see is you may get approached by a male. I may not be approached by a female. And when I do....

                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: Gastronomos
                                                                                                                                                                          c oliver Dec 9, 2013 09:00 AM

                                                                                                                                                                          I was with you on the first paragraph. But why may you not be approached by a female?

                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: c oliver
                                                                                                                                                                            Gastronomos Dec 9, 2013 09:03 AM

                                                                                                                                                                            I may. I may not. I don't make that call.

                                                                                                                                                                            I can approach, perhaps, but that's not the same.

                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: Gastronomos
                                                                                                                                                                              c oliver Dec 9, 2013 09:07 AM

                                                                                                                                                                              I truly am not getting that. Could you use a few more words and explain please :)

                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: c oliver
                                                                                                                                                                                Gastronomos Dec 9, 2013 10:00 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                a tall, dark and handsome man such as myself will not always be approached by women at a bar. the short, pale dweeb at the other end of the bar, who drives a Ferrari usually has a few women approach him.

                                                                                                                                                                                but, that is only my experience. yours may not be the same.

                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: Gastronomos
                                                                                                                                                                                  c oliver Dec 9, 2013 10:07 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                  Well, as long as it's red Ferrari then I understand :) I've actually always kinda been attracted to the not so beautiful people.

                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: c oliver
                                                                                                                                                                                    Gastronomos Dec 9, 2013 10:10 AM


                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: c oliver
                                                                                                                                                                                      jrvedivici Dec 9, 2013 10:20 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                      We won't tell Bob about this post.

                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: jrvedivici
                                                                                                                                                                                        c oliver Dec 9, 2013 10:24 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                        When Bob used to travel up to 85% of the time, we had a rule that he had to get rid of the bimbos and I had to show the marines the door before we spoke on the phone. As the saying goes, I may be married but I'm not dead or even blind :)

                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: c oliver
                                                                                                                                                                                          Gastronomos Dec 9, 2013 10:45 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                          just cause i'm on a diet don't mean i can't look at the menu

                                                                                                                                                                                    2. re: Gastronomos
                                                                                                                                                                                      kevin Dec 9, 2013 07:14 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                      Really ?

                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: kevin
                                                                                                                                                                                        Gastronomos Dec 10, 2013 01:41 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                        A pretty face gets old. A nice body will change. But a good woman will always be a good woman

                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: Gastronomos
                                                                                                                                                                                          c oliver Dec 10, 2013 02:04 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                          Applies to men also. My man remains good. Actually great!

                                                                                                                                                                                2. re: c oliver
                                                                                                                                                                                  kevin Dec 9, 2013 07:15 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                  I don't think I've been approached by a female.

                                                                                                                                                                                  But yes, I would presume that many attractive females would be approached by males.

                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: kevin
                                                                                                                                                                                    Servorg Dec 9, 2013 07:17 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                    I've been approached by a female...true, she had a stun gun in her hand, but she approached me in any case.

                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: Servorg
                                                                                                                                                                                      kevin Dec 9, 2013 07:18 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                      I cracked up at that.

                                                                                                                                                                                    2. re: kevin
                                                                                                                                                                                      c oliver Dec 9, 2013 07:18 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                      Back in the days, I 'approached' men. Not in a Neanderthal way but there are easy ways to strike up a conversation.

                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: c oliver
                                                                                                                                                                                        kevin Dec 9, 2013 07:20 PM


                                                                                                                                                                                        In the Neanderthal days ???? :)

                                                                                                                                                                                        I'm just messing with you. :)

                                                                                                                                                                                        But no seriously I've never had that happen. It may have to do with my not so good looks. I may have to dazzle them with my introversion (is that even a word ????)

                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: kevin
                                                                                                                                                                                          c oliver Dec 9, 2013 07:29 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                          You shy ones are more appealing than you might think :)

                                                                                                                                                                                          Neanderthal WAYS not DAYS.

                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: c oliver
                                                                                                                                                                                            kevin Dec 9, 2013 07:33 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                            This may be off-topic or actually it is part of the topic, but what's appealing about the shy ones ? We won't even speak, maybe that's a good thing, because of our possibly entrenched shyness.

                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: kevin
                                                                                                                                                                                              c oliver Dec 9, 2013 07:54 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                              Maybe cause you're not coming over and saying as above (paraphrased) "hey, baby, what's a good looking 'girl' like you sitting here all by yourself." I'm always eavesdropping and watching people. Those with seeming worth, male and female, for me are the ones worth approaching. BTW, I'm single and straight just to give you my perspective.

                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: c oliver
                                                                                                                                                                                                kevin Dec 9, 2013 09:07 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                Yeah. I don't usually state that line. Actually usually never.

                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: c oliver
                                                                                                                                                                                                  c oliver Dec 10, 2013 07:33 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                  Oops, I'm married not single :)

                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: c oliver
                                                                                                                                                                                                    Gastronomos Dec 10, 2013 08:54 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                    never stopped me..........

                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: Gastronomos
                                                                                                                                                                                                      kevin Dec 10, 2013 02:18 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                      Uh-oh. :)

                                                                                                                                                                                                  2. re: c oliver
                                                                                                                                                                                                    jrvedivici Dec 10, 2013 08:06 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                    I'm sorry but hitting on women is fun, and so is hearing their responses or rejection lines. I've even had a drink thrown in my face (rightly so) one time!

                                                                                                                                                                                                    Obviously I have the "gift of the gab" and a younger single friend of mine use to like to bet me a drink if I could get different women's phone numbers. (this is going back 10+ years). The routine would always be, he would get a few drinks in him, dare me to go get the number of a woman of his choosing, while he would sit back and observe. He was constantly amazed at my ability to come back with a number after talking to a woman for a few minutes, my win percentage was very close to, if not, 100%.

                                                                                                                                                                                                    Of course he didn't know I would just walk up to the woman he selected, introduce myself, point him out as the "lil weasel like guy across the bar" and explain to her this;

                                                                                                                                                                                                    "My little friend over there always tells me I'm to fat, old and ugly to pick up a beautiful woman like you. We have a running bet that if I approach a woman like yourself, you would never ever give me your number, so I'm going to just ask you if you could look at him, smile and give me a number. Any number it doesn't have to be yours, just any number so I can soak that weasel, win our bet, and get a free drink out of him".

                                                                                                                                                                                                    Every time I got a number, every time he bought me a drink. Rule # 1 when choosing your friends, don't hang out with people smarter than you, it's just not as much fun.

                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: jrvedivici
                                                                                                                                                                                                      c oliver Dec 10, 2013 08:09 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                      And I'm just saying that my "hitting on" men was fun also :)

                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: jrvedivici
                                                                                                                                                                                                        MGZ Dec 10, 2013 08:14 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                        Now, at least I know why you don't wanna be friends.

                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: jrvedivici
                                                                                                                                                                                                          Veggo Dec 10, 2013 08:29 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                          Jr, you can be my wing man anytime. It seems you have more moves than a bucket of minnows.

                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: Veggo
                                                                                                                                                                                                            Gastronomos Dec 10, 2013 08:55 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                            jr definitely got more moves than an octopus in a wrestling match
                                                                                                                                                                                                            for sure

                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: Gastronomos
                                                                                                                                                                                                              jrvedivici Dec 10, 2013 11:43 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                              Gentlemen it would be an honor to be the Goose to your Maverick's anytime.

                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: jrvedivici
                                                                                                                                                                                                                Veggo Dec 10, 2013 12:23 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                Cruise control....

                                                                                                                                                                                        2. re: SaraAshley
                                                                                                                                                                                          kevin Dec 9, 2013 07:10 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                          Sometimes I just enjoy staring at a brick wall and observing the people watching.

                                                                                                                                                                                          And sometimes I don't even bring out my not so smart phone.

                                                                                                                                                                                          Now what's a concept.

                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: kevin
                                                                                                                                                                                            c oliver Dec 9, 2013 07:11 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                            I SO don't need my phone, smart or not, when I'm out.

                                                                                                                                                                                      2. 1sweetpea Dec 9, 2013 09:30 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                        I think of myself as a bit of a loner and an introvert, but apparently others do not. My husband thinks I'm an extrovert and that he is the introvert. He is definitely an introvert, but not once he has a few drinks. I think the reason for his misconception is because I feel like I have to be "on" when with others and perhaps overcompensate a bit. I spend a lot of time alone (I work at home), so once I get talking I can really talk. The fact is, though, that I am most comfortable when in groups of no more than 4 or 5. I don't love parties and never throw them. I attend them, but I am usually wishing we could leave earlier than most others. My husband (once he has a few drinks in him) becomes more sociable and likes to stay late at parties.

                                                                                                                                                                                        Where friends are concerned, I have some, but I don't make a lot of personal effort to perpetuate those friendships, thus I spend even more time either alone or with my husband.

                                                                                                                                                                                        His business partner stays in our house every other week, when he is in town. Having that extra person so often has been a bit of a challenge, but fortunately, once dinner is done, I can either join them for the evening (of TV sports) or do something else in a different room. Nobody is offended, but I am aware that I'm coming off as less sociable by opting not to hang out with them. I usually use that time to catch up on the all the food shows I've recorded on the DVR, or read my 3 food magazines that arrive monthly (Saveur, Food and Wine and Bon Appetit).

                                                                                                                                                                                        7 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: 1sweetpea
                                                                                                                                                                                          Hobbert Dec 9, 2013 09:37 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                          Isn't it interesting to compare how you see yourself with how others see you? Like you, I think I'm an introvert but my husband thinks I'm extroverted. I like to hang out with a select group of coworkers and friends and a few others I know but am stressed about meeting new people. I'm very happy to sit on the couch with a pile of books and magazines and not go out for days :)

                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: Hobbert
                                                                                                                                                                                            1sweetpea Dec 9, 2013 06:48 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                            Actually Hobbert, it was enlightening. It all came about because I shared this link on Facebook last week. http://www.buzzfeed.com/erinlarosa/pr...
                                                                                                                                                                                            My husband went through the 27 items on the list and was shocked that I claimed to be able to relate to most, if not all. I guess I've hidden my true feelings well for the entire 15+ years we've been together. LOL! Have a look at the link and see if you can relate to any of the "problems only an introvert can face".

                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: 1sweetpea
                                                                                                                                                                                              Hobbert Dec 9, 2013 07:02 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                              Omg! Yes to all of this. When I was in the police academy, I told the other recruits from my agency to stop asking me to hang out because I never would. We spent 50 hours a week together, for Pete's sake! I thought I was being helpful and straightforward but apparently this is considered antisocial and odd. Haha, I'm pretty close to one of the other women I trained with but she told me she assumed I hated her for a couple years. Introverts are fun like that... I'd see if you wanted to hang out and bond over our personality traits, but it would be too stressful :)

                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: Hobbert
                                                                                                                                                                                                1sweetpea Dec 9, 2013 07:42 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                Online, definitely! I'd love to chat online, at my leisure and on my own terms. LOL. Much easier and less effort than committing in person. Sad, but true, Hobbert. We're probably cut from the same cloth. I work from home, but I wouldn't even want to hang out on weekends with the coworkers I only communicate with via Skype. I've found that I'm a much better facebook friend than a real-life, keep-up-by-phone or in-person friend.

                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: 1sweetpea
                                                                                                                                                                                                  c oliver Dec 9, 2013 08:05 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                  And it's very cool that you recognize your strengths.

                                                                                                                                                                                              2. re: 1sweetpea
                                                                                                                                                                                                juliejulez Dec 10, 2013 11:59 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                Yup, totally relate to all of those.

                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: 1sweetpea
                                                                                                                                                                                                  magic Dec 14, 2013 11:34 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                  Superb read, 1sweetpea.

                                                                                                                                                                                                  Thanks :)

                                                                                                                                                                                            2. t
                                                                                                                                                                                              tzurriz Dec 9, 2013 10:01 AM


                                                                                                                                                                                              1. b
                                                                                                                                                                                                Bkeats Dec 9, 2013 10:52 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                What are all you recluses and loners doing posting on a Friday night? I was busying having a good time out then while this thread was going on. LOL. JK.

                                                                                                                                                                                                In real life, I'm pretty good with people. I do marketing. My wife has remarked about how I can walk into a room full of people and start working my way through. She says she has no idea how I can do that.

                                                                                                                                                                                                I love to have dinner with a groups of people. But I also miss the times when I could dine by myself. Before I got married, I used to go at least once a month to this great sushi place and sit at the bar by myself and gorge on sushi. I got to know the owners. I would periodically bring dates there and they would always say how nice it was to see me there with someone. I guess they were concerned I might be a loner. But I look forward to those now rare times when I can have a solo meal without needing to have a conversation with anyone. Maybe I'm a gregarious misanthropic.

                                                                                                                                                                                                3 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: Bkeats
                                                                                                                                                                                                  bobusa Dec 9, 2013 09:18 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                  "What are all you recluses and loners doing posting on a Friday night?"

                                                                                                                                                                                                  I was replaying Rush Limbaugh's recent programs and planning some serial killing.

                                                                                                                                                                                                  Thanks for asking!

                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: bobusa
                                                                                                                                                                                                    Servorg Dec 10, 2013 04:09 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                    I believe you meant to write "cereal" killing...

                                                                                                                                                                                                  2. re: Bkeats
                                                                                                                                                                                                    magic Dec 14, 2013 11:38 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                    I always love to read about extroverts who relish solitude as well. It's really nice.

                                                                                                                                                                                                  3. Davwud Dec 10, 2013 04:33 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                    Read through some of these responses but there are too many to read all.

                                                                                                                                                                                                    Not that I'm breaking new ground here but merely passing on my findings. Which are this; completely the opposite of what your friend thinks. As people have posted, food is such a social thing that food lovers tend to be more outgoing and adventurous. Not everyone will be gregarious at a gathering but that doesn't make them a loner. Just quiet.


                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. M_Gomez Dec 12, 2013 05:32 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                      IMO? If a thread like this can garner more than 200 posts in less than a week, I think it's answered its own question.

                                                                                                                                                                                                      4 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: M_Gomez
                                                                                                                                                                                                        SaraAshley Dec 12, 2013 06:52 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                        Haha.......ohhhh snap!!

                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: SaraAshley
                                                                                                                                                                                                          kevin Dec 12, 2013 07:25 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                          She shows up again.

                                                                                                                                                                                                          Long story short: yes, we are loners.

                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: kevin
                                                                                                                                                                                                            Gastronomos Dec 12, 2013 08:17 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                            Now I wanna rewrite the lyrics to "Youth Gone Wild" by Skid Row for us Chowhounds...

                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: kevin
                                                                                                                                                                                                              SaraAshley Dec 12, 2013 08:57 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                              My non-loner self is always around! :)

                                                                                                                                                                                                        2. l
                                                                                                                                                                                                          Leepa Dec 13, 2013 04:40 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                          This is so me. Except for the texting one.


                                                                                                                                                                                                          14 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: Leepa
                                                                                                                                                                                                            SaraAshley Dec 13, 2013 02:10 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                            I'm by no means an introvert, but I would say that about half of these still apply to me. Talking to customer service people is annoying, so I'd much rather be able to email, or better yet, find the answer on my own. If it's a genuine issue and I have to call, I fear becoming bitchy when things don't go my way. It's kind of my natural instinct.

                                                                                                                                                                                                            And I loveeeeeeeeeeee long car rides alone where I can just turn the music up and drive. If I have to take a long car ride, this is the way I prefer.

                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: SaraAshley
                                                                                                                                                                                                              Hobbert Dec 13, 2013 02:31 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                              Totally agree on the car rides! Whenever I visit family in Florida, I look forward to the all day drive. My super extroverted mom calls me constantly so I don't get bored. She can't understand why I enjoy it. (I put my phone on silent :))

                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: Hobbert
                                                                                                                                                                                                                SaraAshley Dec 13, 2013 02:48 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                I find it relaxing! :) I'm surprisingly not much of a phone person, but even less so when I'm driving. I guess driving is my down, alone time, lol.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: SaraAshley
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Veggo Dec 13, 2013 03:08 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I usually select my road music carefully in advance, depending on destination, purpose of trip, time of day, mood.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  A very relaxing and quiet relief in this busy noisy world.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: Veggo
                                                                                                                                                                                                                    SaraAshley Dec 13, 2013 03:49 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I actually enjoy the randomness of it all, as along the ride when you get into different areas, the stations are always changing

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: SaraAshley
                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Veggo Dec 13, 2013 04:08 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      To a degree, with 2 exceptions: 1) when you fade away from a signal half-way through your favorite song, or 2) when you are driving 980 miles on I-10 across Texas.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: Veggo
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        SaraAshley Dec 13, 2013 04:14 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Ummmmmmm......never done the second one, but the first one definitely sucks!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: SaraAshley
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          linguafood Dec 13, 2013 07:10 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Or if you're driving through the flatlands of Ohio, and your choices consist of xtian talk radio, talk radio, xtian country, xtian pop, etc. etc.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Podcasts are the ticket.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: linguafood
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Veggo Dec 13, 2013 07:24 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Sounds very Mayan - X'tan , Xcaret, xpuhal, xtabentun...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: linguafood
                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Leepa Dec 14, 2013 06:27 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Podcasts are the answer for me on all of my solo trips. Used to be books on tape but, for the most part, podcasts are the bomb for that. The Splendid Table is one of my favorites. I tend to save them up long trips. Or just listen again.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: Leepa
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                linguafood Dec 14, 2013 10:04 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                For me it's Savage Lovecast, TAL, and WTF with Marc Maron. Yep, that's pretty much it. And since I don't take a lot of long car trips, those episodes sure add up.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: Leepa
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  MrsPatmore Dec 15, 2013 12:26 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Love, love, love The Splendid Table & many other food-related podcasts from NPR. Also the Snap Judgment podcasts ("story-telling with a twist) are top-notch.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                2. re: linguafood
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  juliejulez Dec 16, 2013 08:17 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  So is satellite radio!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: juliejulez
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    linguafood Dec 17, 2013 11:54 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    If you have it.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                2. Gastronomos Dec 13, 2013 02:31 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I dunno how many Chowhound Posers, Losers, and/or Reclooses there are on this web site.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I do know that I have been around here since about 1999 and 'registered' around 2001.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I gave up around 2006 and only checked in every now and again.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I came back around more frequently this past spring.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I do see trends. I do see things on here that resemble things IRL.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I don't find much of anything I need on my regional board. It seems that those that know what Chow is around they keep to themselves.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I do find fun and entertainment on these other boards.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I know of no Chowhounds IRL. At least not mine.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I know of some self professed foodies that follow all trends and love to shove it in everyones face.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  In the end, maybe, perhaps, ok, for sure, in my quest for Chow, I am a Loner, and/or Recluse IRL.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  2 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: Gastronomos
                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Servorg Dec 13, 2013 02:36 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    No 'registration' required back in 2001. After C/nut took over in 2006 registration was instituted for the first time.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: Servorg
                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Gastronomos Dec 13, 2013 02:37 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      ok. whatever. I used the 'handle' "Gastronomos" on this site since 2001...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  2. scubadoo97 Dec 14, 2013 05:07 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I am not someone who needs companionship at all times and I'm perfectly fine when alone. I know people that can't be alone and need people around them at all times. I'm into quality over quantity which some might view as anti-social

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    CH as well as other forums provides an outlet to reach out to those that share common interests and share information.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    For me cooking in itself is a solitary activity and though I welcome help in the kitchen I find I'm often happier when I'm in total control

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I enjoy sharing my cooking with family and friends but will also go through the effort of a nice meal prep if
                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I'm alone. Being alone gives me a chance to experiment since I don't have to worry about anybody's preferences except my own

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: scubadoo97
                                                                                                                                                                                                                      fldhkybnva Dec 14, 2013 05:20 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      You read my mind. My parents were upset I didn't go to office holiday party, it's too much stimulation for me. They are both social butterflies, never met a crowd they didn't like. Give me a small gathering and I'm all in...for a few hours then I need a break ;) I work well alone, I blame my only childness :) while I can be alone for a long time and be ok I find that I engage during the day on errands chatting with favorite store employees so I guess it's not really isolation.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    2. m
                                                                                                                                                                                                                      magic Dec 14, 2013 10:25 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      It's a great thread, thanks all.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      For an intensely interesting read on introversion/extroversion ya'll should check out a book called "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking ", by Susan Cain.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Tough book to put down and quite life-affirming if you're an introvert feeling caught in an extroverted world.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      5 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: magic
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Servorg Dec 14, 2013 10:37 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        And for those who might be feeling a little sleepy after delving into that book, and are looking for a "different" sort of quiet simply turn turn up the sound and go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYCyND...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: Servorg
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          magic Dec 14, 2013 10:40 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Jesus that's a good song.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          But the book is also good. Room for both, my friend.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: magic
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Servorg Dec 14, 2013 10:42 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Better metal health...brought to us by "Oh BAM BAM BAM" ah! care...(g)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: Servorg
                                                                                                                                                                                                                              magic Dec 14, 2013 10:43 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Hahaha. Love it.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: Servorg
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Veggo Dec 14, 2013 10:47 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Servorg, If I hear that song in my head when I turn in tonight, I will get up and stick pins in your Voodoo doll.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        2. b
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Big Eater Dec 15, 2013 10:02 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Left to my own devices I'd definitely be a sad and lonely hermit. But I was lucky enough to have been born with an aptitude that I've honed with years of hard work so that I am able to cook like a motherf----r. Basically, I communicate with others through the language of food but am otherwise mute.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          My social anxieties lift just long enough for me to blurt out "hey, come over Saturday and I'll make dinner." Then I retreat from human society for a few days of planning, shopping, and cooking. Boom; big dinner, lots of merrymaking, fun, hugging. Then the minute the door closes on the departing guests, silence once again reigns in my abode...until I summon up the courage to invite people over...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. j
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Jerseygirl111 Dec 18, 2013 10:53 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            How did I miss this?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I guess I would be a recluse if I lived alone, but my husband and son force me to be social. Actually my son takes after me and would rather stay home than go to a party. My husband is the social butterfly. I have no friends, in the traditional sense a woman might. My family, brothers' and sisters' families are my friends. I have no desire for other women to call me and complain about their marriage or work or go shopping for hours. I would rather go to the library or beach (even in Winter) or stay home and read a book, watch an old movie, surf the web or do a jigsaw puzzle. I took an online test once and I just missed out on Aspergers. I definitely have OCD traits and do not do well with change.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: Jerseygirl111
                                                                                                                                                                                                                              kitchengardengal Dec 21, 2013 02:04 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Jersey girl, I now see another gift of yours that would suit you to be a Master Gardener Extension Volunteer. Our association provides a 600+ word article each week to the local newspaper's garden page. I am one of 10 members who research and write those articles . Sounds like that would suit your personality. You needn't even leave home! Your County probably has something similar.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            2. meatn3 Dec 21, 2013 12:44 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I prefer small groups or one-on-one for real life socializing. I enjoy good conversation and rarely find it in larger gatherings. I've reached an age where clubbing and big parties hold little appeal. I'd much prefer smaller groups of people.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I do enjoy doing many things alone. Solo travel allows you to interact with new people much easier than if you are with others. Solo dining can be that way too. And I have enough imagination and interests where I can easily be home alone for a week and stay completely amused.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              That said, I am completely comfortable interacting with strangers and doing public speaking. In much of my work I've had very public positions. I can do that well but it does take a toll. Which is why I really enjoy a good amount of solitude to recharge

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I tend to be on CH a bit for several reasons. It is a social outlet where I can immerse myself in a subject I'm intensely interested. I do a lot of projects on the computer which have downtime, so switching over to see new posts happens frequently. Finally, I'm a bit of an insomniac. On CH I'm not disturbing anyone at 3am! None of my friends or family would be happy hearing from me at that hour...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              25 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: meatn3
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                SaraAshley Dec 21, 2013 10:00 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                You bring up a good point. I'm not sure if I've mentioned it on this thread before or not, but I do enjoy going out alone sometimes because it is the perfect opportunity to meet new people.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: SaraAshley
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Veggo Dec 21, 2013 10:47 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Maybe we should organize a million man/woman march of loners and recluses in DC?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: Veggo
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    MGZ Dec 21, 2013 11:34 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Having worked for guys on both sides of the aisle, and in both chambers of Congress, as well as having lived in Georgetown* for the longest year of my life,** I can honestly say that there are only around sixty-three to seventy-four people in the District who would admit to being "loners or recluses". The rest go out to "meet new people" or "OMG . . . I thought my friends were coming here?"***.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I guess what I'm tryin' to say is, unless you wanna bang your buddy's girlfriend and her roommate from college while he's in the 580 hopelessly thinking he can choke back that Ivy League accent he so dearly used Mommy and Daddy's money to acquire, avoid any attempt at organization in DC. I still have sores that will never go away.****

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    *By that, I mean I slept on a buddy from law school's couch and paid almost a grand a month for the privilege. I also had to agree to not have sex with his live in girlfriend whenever he went to Oklahoma to help his boss "hear what the folks have to say".

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    **Admittedly, I only was in the Capitol from late March until Halloween. Nevertheless, it was a long f*ckin' year.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    ***Look out for the hair flip after that one.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    ****Oh, to my buddy's credit, he actually has a seat in the State legislature, is married to the college roommate, and has a fourteen year old son who is the apple of his Mother's sad, lonely eyes, and, get this, loves to cook . . . .

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: MGZ
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      SaraAshley Dec 21, 2013 02:27 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I live about 40 minutes outside of DC, but I can't be bothered to go out and socialize there. I find the people there a little too uptight for my taste. I enjoy my small town bars where everyone knows your name.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: SaraAshley
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        linguafood Dec 21, 2013 02:51 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        And all the self-important suits.... uggggghhhh.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: SaraAshley
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          kevin Dec 21, 2013 08:46 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Bethesda ?????

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: kevin
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            SaraAshley Dec 22, 2013 08:48 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I've actually never been.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: kevin
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              acssss Dec 22, 2013 08:52 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Bethesda - uptight?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Bethesda is full of high-techies (very similar to the silicon valley) I would hardly call them uptight.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              One of my favorite cities in America

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          2. re: MGZ
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Veggo Dec 21, 2013 03:30 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Nice of you to agree not to boff your friend's ladyfriend when he was out of town. Was she a participant in the negotiated settlement?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: Veggo
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              kevin Dec 21, 2013 08:47 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              That sounds pretty crazy.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Was she always... um ... I don't know what the polite word would be ....

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: Veggo
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                MGZ Dec 22, 2013 07:27 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Well, he put in the lease, which made it hard to stick out for the entire length.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: MGZ
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  sunshine842 Dec 22, 2013 07:35 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  in the lease?!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  That doesn't speak well for him, the girlfriend, OR any roommate....

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  ...kinda sad, actually.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: sunshine842
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    MGZ Dec 22, 2013 07:46 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Law school's kinda sad. The Oklahoma panhandle's kinda sad. Wanting to represent it is even sadder. Hell, sleepin' on a couch for a grand a month is really sad, sadder than even the "lease" my buddy drew up on a stained, cocktail napkin. His wife's sad to this day

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Regardless, the story, if you're payin' any attention at all, is f*ckin' funny. But, I guess, it may just seem that way to me, not bein' a loner or a recluse, huh?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: MGZ
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      sunshine842 Dec 22, 2013 07:59 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      nobody who's ever spent 30 seconds in my company would ever accuse me of being a loner or a recluse.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: sunshine842
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        MGZ Dec 23, 2013 05:45 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        I would never doubt that, sunshine. As you may have noticed, for the past three weeks, I have been consistently challenging the original premise of this thread - that most/many 'hounds are reclusive loners.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: MGZ
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          sunshine842 Dec 23, 2013 04:56 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          and my comment upthread included this: I think most of us are quite sociable (albeit along a *scale* of sociable) - food really isn't an individual sport for the most part.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: sunshine842
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Veggo Dec 23, 2013 07:29 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Especially food fights. The more the better.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  2. re: MGZ
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Veggo Dec 22, 2013 09:22 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Personal service clauses in contracts are difficult to enforce and are easily voided.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: Veggo
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      MGZ Dec 23, 2013 05:48 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      "Personal service clauses in contracts are difficult to enforce and are easily voided."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I am aware of that. I am even more aware of the fact that the same doesn't apply to fundamental tenets of "Guy Code" - with or without several misspellings on a bar napkin that reeks of Scotch.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: MGZ
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Veggo Dec 23, 2013 07:59 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Mel Fisher honored his bar napkin agreements after he salvaged the Atocha.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: Veggo
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          MGZ Dec 23, 2013 08:17 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          That, my old friend, is the true point. I once took a beating from three guys because I promised a buddy that "I don't know where you're takin' her."* My order of loyalty starts with the woman I share a bed with, is closely followed by that respect I owe to those I consider Brothers, and, finally, to God and/or the State, according to who's rules are less onerous in any given situation. Sh*t, I put my elbows on the table at Le Bec Fin.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          The point is, if you have a soul, you gotta put your money (and balls) where the cocktail napkin is, right? I shake hands, after all!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          *The "her" at issue bein' the ex-girlfreind of one of the guys I held fast to. Funny thing about a lopsided fight - when you focus on beating back on the head, it doesn't hurt much when the limbs start in on you.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              2. re: Veggo
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                kevin Dec 21, 2013 08:45 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Sounds great. But only if you are bringing the "cigars."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              3. re: SaraAshley
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Leepa Dec 21, 2013 11:04 AM


                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Going out alone in order to meet new people is not exactly a "loner" thing to do.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: SaraAshley
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  kevin Dec 21, 2013 08:45 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Will you sit at a table, or just the bar or counter solely ?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: kevin
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Puffin3 Dec 24, 2013 11:07 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I think I'm like a lot of CHers.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I have my daily routine. I like to get up early (comes from having to do so all my early farm/working life.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I make a coffee and check out a few other 'bookmarks' and get to CH. I check my 'profile' to see who's posting there. I check out the some other CH pages. I post if I want.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Then I leave for the day for some swimming shopping making dinner whatever.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Retired BTW.

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