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Nov 15, 2013 07:45 AM

Wine with dinner when non-drinkers are present?

Spouse and I were bantering about "the rules" for serving liquor/wine when non-drinkers are in attendance. We invited a couple for a casual dinner and neither drinks - they met years ago in AA. I stated that since it was just going to be the 4 of us adults (+ 3 teen boys), DH and I should not serve nor drink wine (no big deal). However, if there were going to be more guests, say another couple, and they imbibed, then alcohol would be OK. The AA guests have not asked for a ban and they regularly attend events where wine is served.

Your thoughts?

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    1. That sounds like a thoughtful host.

      1. I think it is nice that you are willing to forgo serving wine but I have to say that I would not abstain if I felt like drinking wine with dinner.

        My feeling is that at my house I will serve what I want and guests can partake or not. I always have non alcoholic options available. Now if I am a guest in someone else's home and they do not serve alcohol, I am fine with that. It's their home and I would certainly respect their wishes.

        2 Replies
          1. re: baseballfan

            I'd ask them first whether they were comfortable with other people drinking. If they say they are, I'd just behave as normal. And make sure there is whatever they like to drink. I'm thinking of an abstinent friend - I actually buy Coca Cola for him, and I'd never touch the stuff - what he hasn't finished is poured down the drain after guests have left.

            One obviously has to either respect another person's house rules, whether they are due to health or religious issues, or decline the invitation. It is their house.

          2. I agree with you. My brother-in-law and his wife also met at AA; when it's just us for dinner, we don't serve alcohol (although they wouldn't object if we decided to drink, it's no problem not to). If there's a crowd, we do, but always make sure that they have something festive and non-alcoholic to drink.

            1. I think that's very nice, tcamp.

              My uncle is an "AA guest" at our family parties and dinners. He brings a bottle of sparkling juice so he can participate in toasts. Bonus points, he can share with the kids! He's a very good sport about it, and would never expect the party to be without alcohol just for him.