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Dad unfit parent for refusing to take his son to Mc Donalds. Really?

Do you really think this has merit to have the court involved? What is wrong with people or better yet adults, parents?

http://nypost.com/2013/11/07/psycholo...

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    1. The whole subject of custody battles is depressing. A court must be involved when parents dispute the custody of their children, however. I'd say the court should give no weight at all to anything this "psychologist" says, because she's clearly partial. The father did the right thing, in my opinion. (I'm a father.) A parent should not indulge a child who throws a tantrum.

      2 Replies
      1. re: GH1618

        I agree completely, it just bothers me that a parent, either parent, would use something like this to try and discredit the other. Put your child first, I don't think the father was wrong at all. (assuming the facts as presented are true)

        1. re: jrvedivici

          "(assuming the facts as presented are true)"
          ________
          I'd rate the chances that the facts presented here are true as well below 50/50. We are talking about an unsubstantiated one-sided discussion of a custody hearing written up in the New York Post. Nothing about that screams 'reliable' to me.

      2. What a bunch of baloney! Setting boundaries is essential.
        This child will not starve from missing dinner.

        1 Reply
        1. re: melpy

          Nope, the child won't starve. But mommy dearest saw an opening and immediately called the child syhiatrist. (Thus ensuring this child's need for therapy for decades to come.)

        2. Custody battles do seem very sad.

          "Then his mom, vice president of the members-only online shopping site Rue La La, called the psychiatrist to report the incident, according to the suit."

          Can you imagine working for this woman?

          1 Reply
          1. re: ceekskat

            At least her employees can decide what they will/will not put up with. Poor kid is stuck.

          2. And the argument could be made taking the child to McDonalds represents cruel and unusual punishment, ... but the worst part of the story is the child being caught in the middle of the adult squabbles.

            2 Replies
            1. re: cwdonald

              I was reading the headline quickly and thought that he did take him and that was the problem at first.

              1. re: melpy

                Same here. "Confirmation bias" I think they call that.

            2. The Psychologist should be disbarred.

              8 Replies
              1. re: JAB

                Psychologists are neither medical doctors nor attorneys.

                1. re: Veggo

                  I'm not a medical doctor or attorney, does that make me a Psychologist?

                  1. re: jrvedivici

                    Perhaps a worthy patient....:)
                    I'm glad no one caught on to my coverage of your sack race!

                    1. re: Veggo

                      Yeah even I had to just walk away from that topic after your play by play analyses .

                    2. re: jrvedivici

                      I think the point is a psychologist cannot be disbarred. Lawyers are disbarred, doctors lose their license to practice. Not sure what a psychologist loses . . . certification?

                        1. re: gaffk

                          They get state licensure which can be taken away. Similar to an attorney who is disbarred, unable to practice law legally, a psych with no licensure cannot practice nor obtain malpractice insurance.

                      1. re: Veggo

                        Thanks for the clarification. I'm sure nobody knew what I meant.

                    3. What happens to people like this when a real issue arises? Do they just implode? Wowza.

                      1. I'm awaiting a suit filed by my offspring for damages caused by my steadfast refusal to take them to a Disney theme park.

                        1 Reply
                        1. re: tcamp

                          Bwaa haa haa - I had to reply. DS has told me on more than one occasion that he is the only person in his age group that has not been to Disney (we're within driving distance). I've responded "Then go!" There's nothing holding you back!

                          I'm going to reply to the original poster - the sad thing is IMHO that there are now attorneys, shrinks, the freakin' MEDIA involved in the three year old's future.

                        2. I think the issue was not giving him dinner. If he put a microwave meal in front of the kid, and he refused to eat it, that would've been something different.

                          1. Agree. I, personally, was never allowed to eat at a McDonalds (or any fast food for that matter) when I was growing up. I went to one for the first time when I went on a date at 16. After the first bite, I realized why my father never allowed us to eat at joints l like that... and I paid it forward to my kids.
                            I commend this father.

                            1. Why do people accept interviews over their personal dramas? Good grief. Mom & Dad, and apparently Grandma too can add this to the child's scrapbook.

                              1. <Do you really think this has merit to have the court involved?>

                                I think you are looking this wrong. The problem is not McDonald or unfit dad or even vengeful mom. We have all these elements in the rest of the world. What set us apart are the American lawyers (along with court system) -- this is why you read these news in US: not because our McDonald restaurants are different from those in Germany, or that our dads less fit than those from India, or our moms are more vengeful than those from Japan.

                                1 Reply
                                1. Wait a second, so the mom would have wanted her son to visit McDonald's for some greasy food ?

                                  In addition, did the kid want a Happy Meal or let's say a Big Mac, extra large fries, and a super large Coke ???????

                                  20 Replies
                                  1. re: kevin

                                    I don't think the mom cared what the kid wanted to eat. She wanted to 'get back' at her soon-to-be-ex-husband, and she saw the opening and took it.

                                    I agree with the father in this case. The kid throws a tantrum because he's not getting what he wanted? Let him cry himself to sleep. Worked just fine in the past with countless other kids.

                                    1. re: LindaWhit

                                      Now those tactics fall into the "child abuse" category :-/

                                      1. re: LotusRapper

                                        What tactics? The mother using the child's desire for McD's as a weapon against the father? On that I agree.

                                        But letting the child cry himself to sleep? As others have said, the kid won't starve. He wouldn't eat what the father offered. There is absolutely NO reason the father should give in and go to McDonald's. This should never be a negotiation with the child.

                                          1. re: Chemicalkinetics

                                            About what, Ck? I'm trying to determine what LotusRapper is talking about.

                                            1. re: LindaWhit

                                              Are you really serious that there should never be a negotiation with a child? Or were you just being sarcastic?

                                              1. re: Chemicalkinetics

                                                No, I'm totally serious. In this case, the father offered other options. The child threw a hissy fit and refused the other options. The father shouldn't give in and take the child to McDonald's. Otherwise, that becomes life for the parents. Giving in to the child.

                                                Who is supposed to be the one in charge and who knows what is best for the child - the child? Absolutely not.

                                                Why is this so astonishing to you?

                                                1. re: LindaWhit

                                                  <Why is this so astonishing to you?>

                                                  Because it makes no sense to me.

                                                  <Who is supposed to be the one in charge and who knows what is best for the child - the child? Absolutely not.>

                                                  Adults do no know what is best for children neither.

                                                  We will just have to disagree.

                                                  1. re: Chemicalkinetics

                                                    Umm, assuming the child's parents aren't beating or starving a child, who else would know better what is best for a 4 year old? The 4 year old? They have little to no reasoning ability.

                                                    Giving in to children's demands just makes for teenagers and adults who expect to get everything they want. Guess what? That's not real life in the real world.

                                                    So yes, I guess we'll have to disagree.

                                                    1. re: Chemicalkinetics

                                                      I'm curious to know just who knows what is best for the child if as you sate it is not the parents.

                                                  2. re: Chemicalkinetics

                                                    "negotiation" or Choice there is a difference so many parents today negotiate right out their responiblity I have seen it in parks and malls and these little kids looked stressed out like they really just want to scream " WHY the hellllllll are you fighting with me mom I am just kid TELLLLL ME what to do already I dont know"

                                                    The guy gave him a choice. Choose another restraunt or nothing...with a choice comes a result. Cause and effect.. you learn to take responsibility for your choices

                                                    I once wouldnt take a coat to school threw a fit Mom said " you are going to be cold." The teacher called my mom and said " Maggie doesnt have a coat" My mom said " Yes she didnt think she needed one" The teacher said " It is cold and we will be going outside for rescess" My mom said " Oh well I guess she will be cold or need to stay in" The teacher said" You are not going to bring her coat?" Mom said " Nope maybe next time she will trust my experince" Next time mom told me to wear a coaat I belived her.

                                                  3. re: LindaWhit

                                                    Sorry for my confusion. I meant letting the kid cry to sleep (or offering him other options incl. McD) and not give in to his tantruming is a GOOD thing. I shouldn't have used the word tactics. This type of approach worked better (I think) for us when we were kids and our parents were in a more "authoritative" role in society. Nowadays when we, as parents, try to do something similar, we can be mis-labeled (or mis-charged) as being abusive or cruel. Every situation is different, but parenting discipline and authority have lost their place in society, for better or for worse.

                                                    1. re: LotusRapper

                                                      Exactly. Too many things are labeled as "abusive" these days, such as this mother did, when all the father was doing was setting those boundaries. The mother just shattered those - which means any time the father tries to do so in the future, the kid will go running to his mother and they'll be back in court.

                                                      Here's hoping the kid figures out his mother's manipulation very soon. Although I suspect he'll be in therapy for years and years after he becomes an adult.

                                                2. re: LindaWhit

                                                  LW, you reminded me of a lunch at home when I was a defiant 9 year old, and I refused to drink my milk. My father commanded that I may not leave the table until I drank the milk. He was not to be defied, ever. Everyone left the kitchen, my siblings were visible out the window having fun playing badminton, I was alone with a harmless glass of milk.
                                                  So I drank the milk and joined the badminton game.

                                                  1. re: Veggo

                                                    Exactly, Veggo. Growing up, we ate what Mom or Dad was cooking for dinner. There were no special meals made for anyone throwing a tantrum that they didn't like something. If dinner included peas? My sister had to eat a spoonful of them. She still doesn't like them, but guess what? She survived.

                                                    1. re: LindaWhit

                                                      Linda, I think the rules of engagement have changed, but I still think kids need and want and beg for boundaries. Parents should be alert to the cues.

                                                      1. re: Veggo

                                                        Absolutely. Studies have shown that Kidk who are confused about boundaries and expectations don't thrive as well as those who do.

                                                        1. re: LotusRapper

                                                          LR, that particular kid had defined boundaries, went to an Ivy League college, and retired early.

                                                      2. re: LindaWhit

                                                        LW, see my new post above Veggo's. OK we're all on the same page :-)

                                            2. Assuming this is true, if I were the judge I would question the mothers parenting abilities. The father did the right thing, don't indulge the little brat, that only leads to bigger tantraums!

                                              7 Replies
                                              1. re: angelo04

                                                I bet the argument wasn't so much the dad refused to take the kid to McDonald, but the fact that the dad refused to feed the child.

                                                1. re: Chemicalkinetics

                                                  I would hardly classify that as refusing to feed the child but this is the court system and common sense ain't so common these days

                                                  1. re: angelo04

                                                    No, I don't mean the dad refused to feed the child as in starvation. But they can use this case to claim this is a form of threat and child abuse. He threatened the child that "It will be non-McDonald or nothing"

                                                    Look, I don't think this dad has done anything out of ordinary, and I bet 99% of the dads out there have done worse than "You either eat this or nothing".

                                                    However, this may be one of the MANY things the ex-wife will use to build up a case.

                                                    It is one thing that I yelled at my girlfriend. It is another thing that I yelled at her daily. Maybe she is building a package against him, and this is one of the many incidents she will use against him.

                                                    To show that he is petty, he has an anger issue, he takes issues with people disagree with him....etc.

                                                      1. re: Veggo

                                                        Who is given the Hobson's choice? The child? (Non-McDonald or nothing). I don't know if that is really a Hobson's Choice.

                                                        1. re: Veggo

                                                          If it was a Filet of Fish sandwich in what he wanted, then I give the kid a free pass. :)

                                                      2. re: angelo04

                                                        But the boy threw a temper tantrum and demanded McDonald’s. So he gave his son an ultimatum: dinner anywhere other than McDonald’s — or no dinner.

                                                  2. A couple items mentioned in the article.

                                                    Kudos to the father for refusing to give in to the McD's temper tantrum.

                                                    If true, shame on the father for not being current on child support.

                                                    1. I think the only true victim here is the boy, being used as a circumstantial prop by the parents (more on the Mom, if the facts presented in the article are wholly true) in their custody battle. Having said that, I think I would have done what the Dad did too. The only things I've EVER bought for my son from McD are the froyo cones and the odd apple or blueberry pie.

                                                      1 Reply
                                                      1. re: LotusRapper

                                                        True......the bigger crime here is they feed the kid mcdonalds lol

                                                      2. Oh dear god. This is bad on so many levels.
                                                        Holy smokes.

                                                        DT

                                                        1. As someone who has been through a custody battle as a step-parent in the past year (we won), I can only wish that our issues were this insignificant.

                                                          This is truly an insult to those of us who have to deal with real issues.

                                                          1. He didn't refuse to feed the child. Just refused to take his son to McDonald's. The son refused to eat anything other. He simply refused to give in to a tantrum.

                                                            Given how nasty divorces can get perhaps if he had taken to boy there. He would have been accused of being negligent for 'only' feeding the boy McDonald's.

                                                            I know a very successful psychologist...She is also one of the craziest people I have ever met. Pretty much everyone who meets her picks up on her imbalance(s). She has very nasty cruel streak as well. She pushes her agenda on to her patients. As for the psychologist in this story one can't help but wonder about her background.

                                                            I feel bad for the child.

                                                            1. In hockey, there's a "Diving" penalty. Is there an equivalent one in the legal system?

                                                              8 Replies
                                                              1. re: pinehurst

                                                                <Is there an equivalent one in the legal system?>

                                                                What country?

                                                                1. re: Chemicalkinetics

                                                                  In the U.S.
                                                                  Hoping the answer is yes, but fearing a no.

                                                                  1. re: pinehurst

                                                                    Thank god I am not a lawyer which contributes to these messes to our societies. My guess is a "no" for US, but a "yes" for some other countries.

                                                                2. re: pinehurst

                                                                  Darn, I played hockey for 4 decades and I know not of the diving penalty. Maybe hooking on a breakaway?

                                                                  1. re: Veggo

                                                                    It's the damnedest thing. I watch a lot of college hockey and you see it more there than in the NHL, V.

                                                                    Worst is when a ref will call a legit penalty for tripping (or whatever), and the recipient of said trip will be called for "diving/embellishment" for not falling staidly enough, or for grimacing. ('course, there's the fakers, too).

                                                                    1. re: pinehurst

                                                                      Fakers in hockey, football, basketball, baseball...
                                                                      But NOT golf. Period!

                                                                        1. re: Veggo

                                                                          Except Bill Clinton? All you need to know about his character.

                                                                  2. I gave in, Once. The kids First time. Once they tasted and did not finish the food like product, they never asked again. :-)

                                                                    I did this before my wife had a chance to give in to any request for McD's. My win. Sue me.

                                                                    1 Reply
                                                                    1. There could be some truth to this. Remember what happened to Todd Marinovich.

                                                                      1. Never had a "custody battle" in my family. Would fact that my grandmother cooked LIVER (UGH!) a few times a year qualify as abuse? WOuld fact that I didn't like shrimp (until a teen) be abuse cuz my father did?