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Nov 4, 2013 02:26 AM

Saying thank you to the host

When ever we go out to dinner round someone's house, I always write a short email afterwards to say thanks.

The other day one of our friends made comment that last time they invited us over for dinner, we were the only couple who wrote after to say thanks. There were six other couples there that evening.

I then got thinking and it does appear that when we have had guests round not many of them do write and say thanks after the event.

What is the general view on this?

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  1. I always thank hosts when I'm leaving. It would never occur to me to write as well. No-one has ever written to us, either.

    1. A thank you as you're leaving the event followed up by an email of thanks is our norm.

      1. why does it matter if the guests are round?

        1 Reply
        1. The established custom in the US, generally speaking, is that one should write a thank you note within the week after the dinner; email has become an acceptable way of doing this but a spectacular dinner might merit a beautiful handwritten note sent by post. The bringing of a hostess gift - which is utterly optional - does not absolve one of post-event expression of gratitude. Also, one normally has a social obligation to reciprocate according to your means - hosting begets reciprocal hosting.

          That said, many younger adults today have been taught little or none of this.

          1 Reply
          1. re: Karl S

            Plus 1 to everything Karl S said with this one minor edit:

            "That said, many adults today have been taught little or none of this."

          2. It appears that a thoughtful thank-you note or email for ANYTHING has gone the way of the buggy whip and the black and white television.