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Ever Had A Really Funny Food Moment?

My mother made wonderful pies. And although she limited herself to making just a few recipes, they were truly excellent. There were seven people in our family, so when mom made a pie each mouthful was truly savored because one piece was all you were going to get!

With this background I remember the day, so many years ago, that mom decided to make one of her old fashioned pecan pies. The house was filled with those yummy aromas as it baked, and we were all eagerly looking forward to dinner time. After taking her perfect pecan pie out of the oven and setting it on the kitchen table, mom left her creation to cool. About 30 minutes passed. Then it happened.

Somebody let the dog in. His name was Howard, and he apparently also loved mom's pies. Fast as lightning he ran to the table, climbed up on a chair and began wildly chomping into that pie. My mother and I ran in, screamed, yelled, waved our arms frantically at him to stop, but to absolutely no avail. I still remember how he kept right on gorging himself while glancing nervously sideways out of scared, but very determined, doggie eyes. Wow, what a gamble he took. Like I said, mom made wonderful pies!

Anybody else have a great food memory like this to share?

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  1. Not me personally, but when the first Mrs. O was a teenager living on Ft. Bragg - her father was an Army officer - her big tomcat let himself into the adjoining house one Thanksgiving Day and devoured most of their turkey. This was less humorous at the time because the occupant of that house was Col. Hancock's commanding officer …

    Painfully funny was the time I took a casserole from the oven of my brother's woodburning stove one day, wearing mitts on both hands. I put the dish carefully on a trivet, removed the mitts, and then took the casserole lid off. Hilarious!

    1 Reply
    1. This might qualify. My first time camping. I was smart enough to bring my cast iron skillet. Fried up some sausage patties the first morning. Smelled wonderful, everything was going fine until I put the hot sausage onto a styrofoam plate. We were short a few patties that first morning.

      1. Summer time, several years ago. Had 2 smallish chickens to cook on grill. SIL, BIL, & 2 kids over, so didn't wanna have to baby-sit the birds.

        Started them on hot side (other side off) till they had some nice color. Then started swapping back and forth... to OFF side for maybe 10-15 minutes, then to ON side... alternating which side had flame. Essentially all in-direct cookiing after initial browning.

        Had made what I thought was last swsap and started bragging that these chickens were the most BEAUTIFUL things. Lifted the lid and they were both TOTALLY BLACK!?! Apparently an undetected flare up from accumulating chicken fat in bottom of grill. Thought BIL was gonna bust a blood vessel he was laughing so hard! I just started whacking at the black stuff and it pretty much came off easily. Chicken was still very tasty, just not cookbook beautiful!?!

        1. As a math specialist for primary students, we did some cooking to work on fractions, etc. my students made some blueberry muffins that came out beautifully. I had them take one to the principal. When they returned they had a sad look on their face because she had bitten into the muffin, only to discover they had added a tablespoon of salt instead of a teaspoon, and she had been a bit shocked by the flavor! She later told me she had tried soooo hard to look as if she was enjoying the muffin. We laughed!

          1 Reply
          1. re: jill kibler

            So funny, and such a familiar scenario! My eldest daughter has built a reputation for doing this (as a child) with baking powder...extremely yecchy!

          2. Hope this qualifies:
            As a single mom, one of our primary fun summer activities was camping, to the extent that the back of the minivan was always packed with a tent, sleeping bags, etc: all we needed to do for an impromptu trip to the river was requisition food supplies, and away we went!
            But I digress.
            The kids were always super helpful about getting set up and then doing their own thing, and I was always happy w/ the campfire cooking setup. The "washup" shack for grills and dishes was a ways away, so I'd boil a pot of water and toss everything into it and then truck it all up to the washup the next morning. Anyhoo, one night it was a little damp, and we struggled to get a nice warm fire going, but get it going we did. After dinner, I asked #1 son to "go get a big pot of water, and put it on the fire."
            So he did.

            7 Replies
            1. re: mamachef

              And then the fire was really damp?

              This anecdote could fit as well on the "miscommunication in the kitchen" thread ;)

              1. re: gaffk

                And how. After I'd counted to ten, and realized that he'd simply done exactly what I asked, it became family legend. And of course, in the re-telling, it went something like this:
                #2 son: remember when we went camping and you told dumbass to put the water on the fire?
                me: don't call him a dumbass; he was your brother.
                #2: okay, remember when Mike pulled that dumbass move with the water on the fire?
                me: how could I forget? I've never run a gamut of emotions that fast in my life: disbelief, horror, despair, and laughter.
                #2: that part was pretty dumbass too.
                me: you really need to apologize; I don't like you using that towards anybody.
                #2: I'm sorry. Sorry you were both so dumbass.
                :)

                1. re: mamachef

                  me to #2 son: quite the smartass, ain't ya'?

                  1. re: mamachef

                    This is why it's so nice to have you back, mamachef!

                    Thanks for a great story.

                    1. re: kitchengardengal

                      Love being here, gal. I really do enjoy jumping back in the water. Oh, and to Kim: IF I'd said that - and I thought about it, among other saltier answers - to #2 son, his only POSSIBLE answer would've been, "well it beats being a dumbass."
                      I learned early on to not egg 'em on because as a rule they were funnier and meaner than me. :)

                      1. re: mamachef

                        Wow . . . you raised funny mean kids? I'm shocked :)

                        1. re: gaffk

                          Of course. After all, They Sprang From Evil. :)

              2. More weird than funny. But I love salt and vinegar chips and when I was younger I'd wolf down a bag in 1-3 days. Then I'd have little cuts on the corners of my mouth, or inside which turn to sores, sometimes my lips and mouth would swell then I'd call my cousin, crying "I THINK I HAVE HERPES" then she responds "were you eating salt and vinegar chips again?"

                Anyway a few days, some milk and teeth brushing would solve most of that, but I'm a worst case scenario type of girl.

                5 Replies
                1. re: youareabunny

                  Good 'un!! Same kinda deal in college, when I'd burn the midnight oil and fortify myself w/ huge boxes of Cap'n. Crunch (w/ crunchberries) cereal. Dry, by the fistful. And the next few days were pretty much as you describe. Cannot.Abide.Those.Things.Anymore.

                  1. re: mamachef

                    With me it was the peanut butter Cap'n Crunch, otherwise the same scenario.

                    1. re: EWSflash

                      Funnily enough I had a dental appointment at student health the week after mid-terms and the dentist even had a name for it: "Crunch lacerations."

                      1. re: mamachef

                        So that makes 2 of you, a dentist and one of my favorite cartoons all attesting to this. I want to try for myself now. Will have to wait til December when I'm back in the states, don't feel like paying 4-5€ just to cut my mouth lol

                  2. 1978, I cooked 2 trays of Stouffers spinach soufflé for 75 minutes, timed to coincide with the start of the Monday night football game. While removing them from the oven, I managed to let both of them slip off my plate and down a 3 inch space between the stove and the wall. It smelled delicious and I had nothing to eat at kickoff time. I couldn't even clean it up, I let it petrify. It was a rental property.

                    2 Replies
                    1. re: Veggo

                      I feel your pain, Veggo. :) I love those things so much that I'd have been way more upset about losing them than the mess it created.
                      Oh, and the visual of your face when it happened put me in a very happy place, if only for a moment. :)

                      1. re: Veggo

                        I had an apartment tlike that, where I decided to learn to cook. I did some good cooking there, but needed to move on due to mice, eletric range, and psychotic residents at the complex. I did lose some stuff down the side of the stove, and didn't declre it when I left, since when I moved in, they didnm't tell me that the previous tenant had an incontinent dog

                      2. Grandmother's house, stove covered in hot pans as she is showing me some of her traditional southern recipes. I'm early teens, using an oven mitt...which I leave, somehow, touching a hot burner. Cue flames. I grab the burning mitt, toss it in the sink & run water on the thing. Pick it up, return quietly to stove without saying a word.
                        Grandma was so busy she didn't bother to find out where I'd gone or notice my "half" of the stove. I don't think I ever told her, although she must've eventually wondered about the holes in her oven mitt.

                        1 Reply
                        1. re: Ama658

                          Love that.

                          MY mom was FOREVER setting things on fire. So by the time both my sister and myself set kitchen towels on fire in our own houses? We knew just to beat the flame out with a spoon and keep on cooking.

                          I suspect your Grandma knew what had happened and was fine with it!

                        2. My father was tiling our upstairs bathroom. I was about four years old. In order to help with the design of the project, I went to the refrigerator and got a package of Kraft American cheese slices. They weren't individually wrapped back then. I just peeled them off the stack and placed them on the wall. I have never lived that down.

                          2 Replies
                          1. re: Kate is always hungry

                            Fast forward to today, that would be an accent border of course.

                            1. Okay, I've got one more, and it also involves a family dog!

                              Years ago, when my brother couldn't find his beagle, he realized that his front screen door was unlocked so out he went into the neighborhood calling for Buster. As he passed his neighbor's house down the street he could hear them screaming, yelling and trying to shew an animal away from their dinner table.

                              Much to his embarrassment, Buster the Beagle had entered their house, jumped up onto their dining room table and grabbed a hamburger right off of the plate! Sadly, no apologies seemed to help fix this humiliating little neighborhood food fiasco.

                              1. It wasn't really funny at the time, but I found out the hard way that if you throw a dish of Spanish rice at your (now ex) husband in the midst of a huge hissy fit, be sure he's not standing in front of an old time radiator that has a million places for rice to hide.

                                I was picking petrified rice out of there for years. Literally.

                                2 Replies
                                1. re: kitchengardengal

                                  Ach ach ach. That's a terrible lesson to learn!! NEXT time :) you just make sure that YOU'RE the one moving out.

                                  1. re: mamachef

                                    Oh, yes, I was the one who finally moved out, mamachef! But it was long after the rice episode.

                                2. similar scenario with an apple custard tart. dog-sitting for a neighbor over thanksgiving. i cooked dinner for my then boyfriend, and we decided to take a walk before dessert. we return to an empty pie shell, apple custard dripping off dog's mouth.

                                  1. When Mr. H and I were first married, many many years ago, we lived 4 hours apart while I was in grad school. I had been visiting him for the weekend and after getting back my house I only had enough energy to heat up a can of Progresson lentil soup. I had just put the bowl of hot soup on the table when my cat, who was thrilled to see me after a few days apart, leapt onto the table. Her paw hit the edge of the bowl, which went flying. There was lentil soup everywhere and nobody to clean it up but me!

                                    1 Reply
                                    1. re: AmyH

                                      I feel your pain - another animal/food story!!

                                    2. It was Christmas Eve several years ago and I was finishing the assembly of a Tourtiere ( French Canadian meat pie)and placed in on the table on my screened porch. We had 3 St. Poodles. There are 2 exit doors in my kitchen. One goes to the porch and one to the terrace. Believe me the dogs are very smart. Loulou asked to be let out side by the terrace door. A little while later she wanted back in at the same door. This was repeated several times during the day. When evening came and I was ready to turn on the oven and get that pie in the oven; I asked my husband to bring the pie in from the porch. He came in with a very puzzled expression. He asked me if the pie had looked like that when I put it outside. No, the Loulou had been going out the terrace door and was sneaking back in through some loose screening and eating the top crust. Oh well, I baked it anyway. It was pretty darned good.

                                      1. A friend of mine was working at his father's gas station. His sister delivered a dinner to him which consisted of a T-Bone steak and a side if peas. While he was pumping gas for their customers his dog, who was inside the gas station, ate the steak. When my friend came back in and saw the plate empty except for the peas and a bare bone he looked at his dog and got upset because his dog left the peas on the plate.

                                        1. Another dog story: I used to rent a house with my brother and sister in law. One night when my brother was in a grad school class my sister in law got a rotisserie chicken from the grocery store for dinner. For some reason we had to go out before dinner (maybe we went to buy booze - most likely the reason back then :). We went out to do whatever it was we had to do and came back to the house. Our dog had what was left the chicken in her mouth. She didn't look or act guilty. She was running around, wagging her tail, extrremely happy. It was like she was trying to tell us, "Hey, look what I found! Isn't this great?!"

                                          To this day I can't remember what we ended up doing for dinner that night.

                                          1 Reply
                                          1. re: 4X4

                                            Okay, that's really funny! I can just picture the dog's look!!

                                          2. When I was a child, my mother would put out a delicious traditional Thanksgiving dinner. One of the staples was a sweet potato dish. The old fashioned one with baked in a rectangular glass baking dish with tons of sweet sauce and topped with marshmallows. As she was carrying the dish into the dining room, she lost her footing and dropped the dish. It landed perfectly flat on the floor in such a manner that caused the sauce with bits of sweet potato and marshmallow to fly everywhere, even sticking on the ceiling!

                                            After a moment of silence, we a broke into laughter!!!

                                            http://burghfeeding.blogspot.com/

                                            1 Reply
                                            1. We had some kind of sparkling faux wine, for the kids, at our dinner table. Pretty fizzy.
                                              We poured small amounts, in small stem glasses, so the kids could have "wine" like the adults, and stopped paying attention.
                                              My child corked the bottle back up. Still no-one paying attention. Just eating and talking, having a good time.
                                              We ALL paid attention when the pressure built up inside the bottle enough to blow out the cork and spatter-paint nearly all the dining room ceiling with purple spots.
                                              The spots were visible for years. I finally had the ceiling replastered.

                                              3 Replies
                                              1. re: DebinIndiana

                                                You just reminded me....I was at an outdoor wedding/reception one summer day. During the ceremony, the caterers had set up a table of a couple dozen bottles of champagne for a toast, removing all the wire thingys from the bottles. As soon as the kiss was done, and everyone started toward the reception area, corks began pop poppoppoppoping into the air.The cold champagne had warmed up just enough in the sun...

                                                1. re: kitchengardengal

                                                  That sounds great -- you couldn't plan that to happen!

                                                2. I was at a spaghetti dinner fundraiser at my school, and was watching this elderly couple from a distance as they were getting seated. The old guy pulled the chair out for his wife, but apparently he pulled it out too far and when she went to sit down she dropped to the floor. I know it's mean, but I was laughing my ass off over it, lol.

                                                  My beagle was notorious for stealing food if you didn't keep an eye on it. One time I was making a sandwich and she was standing right by me hoping I would drop something. She got so excited she tried to make a jump for it, but I happened to be opening the drawer at the exact moment. All I heard was this "thud" when she hit it, lol.

                                                  1. It was funny to me, but you might have had to have been there. I see my parents about twice a year due to distance. For quite some time, my mom had been eating and loving calamari at their local sports bar (breaded, fried, side of marinara). During a visit, we all ordered, dug in and she urged me to have a few bites. I said no, I don't really like squid that way.
                                                    She was like screeching "what did you say?!?!" while my dad and brother pretend to be looking elsewhere. I explained, and she kept up with her "it's a squid?!?!" rant. She thought she'd been eating some weird gummy pasta all this time and refuses to eat her favorite squid now.
                                                    Ah, the narrow-mindedness of some...

                                                    2 Replies
                                                    1. re: alliegator

                                                      That's really funny, and it also shows how important our brains are in this whole eating process!!

                                                      My mother was very limited in what she fed us as kids, and she hated cream cheese, blue cheese dressing, yogurt, stuff like that. I remember being a teenager out on a date and tasting the blued cheese dressing on a salad and being so surprised, because it was fantastic! After that I was ready to try lots of food that mom hated.

                                                      1. re: alliegator

                                                        Tell your mom not to worry, it might not really have been squid....

                                                        http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio...

                                                      2. A little over 2 years ago I "rescued" a St. Poodle. She was 2 at the time, obedience and agility trained. A beautiful elegant girl. None of my other St. Poods have been food thieves and I didn't give it a thought. I was chopping chicken up to make something (can't remember now) but I turned my back to take care of something in the oven and came back to about 1/4 of the chicken that I had chopped. She is tall enough to help herself. I'm a slow learner. About a month ago I was making a sandwich. I'd gotten the bread, cheese, and salami out and turned to get some mayo out of the fridge. Good by salami.

                                                        1 Reply
                                                        1. A legendary country music star I was acquainted with (since deceased) crawled into bed after a hard night, apparently clutching a carton of chocolate ice cream. He woke up screaming the next morning, which caused us to run up to his room to see what was the matter. He was bound up in the sheets by the ice cream, which had melted and glued the sheets into a hardened mass around his body. Further, the color and the texture of the dried ice cream resembled that of dried blood. He was sure he had been mortally stabbed in his sleep and demanded that we call an ambulance. We were helpless with laughter, which did nothing to alleviate his hysteria. Finally, someone dumped a bucket of water on him and the crusted sheets gave way. He was shaky for a few days afterward.

                                                          3 Replies
                                                            1. re: flavrmeistr

                                                              Wow, how hard of a night do you have to have to crawl into bed with ice cream?

                                                              1. re: gaffk

                                                                This was South Florida in the early 80's, so....

                                                            2. First dinner I made for my Frenchman. We were "dating"..and it was one of those nights that two of my then teenaged kids were spending the night with friends and my oldest was away at college. I figured I would make him an incredibly romantic meal. Now. I had moved from my home where I had a beautiful gas stove into an apartment with electric--which I despise. OK?
                                                              So. I make this great meal, Chicken Veronique..a Clafoutis for dessert...some great wine..Yeah. This dinner was gonna make my Frenchman realize what a great French cook I was.
                                                              Somewhere along the line when he arrived I got a little flustered. The chicken was set on one of the burners in a pan with a cover (thank god). I took the clafoutis out of the oven and set it on one of the burners which I had shut off.
                                                              OOPS! The Pyrex exploded all over. Cherries from the clafoutis shot up to the ceiling. Glass everywhere. Clafoutis on his sweater, hair and all over me.
                                                              He didn't say much, but I could tell he was slightly annoyed.
                                                              After a clean up, we sat down to dinner.
                                                              He brought over some REALLY GOOD RED WINE. OK?
                                                              I have a tendancy to talk with my hands. While explaining something to him, I knocked his really good red wine all over him--this--after the big clean up.
                                                              The rest is slow motion. I could see his lower lip quivering and steam coming out of his ears. He got up. Walked over to the kitchen. Stood by the sink..and I could see his upper body shaking.
                                                              O.M.G. This man is going to walk out of here and I will never see him again--that was all I could think of.
                                                              Well, he was shaking because he was laughing so hard!
                                                              From then on, it was easy peasy cooking for him. We still laugh about that!!

                                                              1 Reply
                                                              1. re: jarona

                                                                That kind of experience will either make or break a friendship!!

                                                              2. After one Thanksgiving dinner, when I was about ten years old, my mom asked me to blow out the candles on the dining room table. So, in an attempt to blow out all of the candles in one breath, I took a deep breath in ...
                                                                Before I knew it, my face was covered in green candle wax. I had a look of shock on my face for a good minute, followed by a few tears (and laughs from my 4 older siblings).

                                                                Took a few days for the scabbing on my face to heal, but so worth it for the many laughs we share over that story now.

                                                                1 Reply
                                                                1. re: OhioHound

                                                                  That story is really amazing! That must've been a very, very deep inhale!

                                                                2. This is funny but I felt bad at the time - I don't bake and I don't drink milk. I was making homemade ranch dressing for the first time and set the carton of buttermilk on the counter. I had no idea how buttermilk tasted. For whatever reason, I assumed it would be "buttery" tasting.

                                                                  My son, who was probably 4yo at the time, asked me about the buttermilk and I said "it is special milk." He asked me if he could taste it. I poured him a glass and he gulped down two or three swallows and started to gag.

                                                                  From months afterward, every time I poured him milk, he said "it isn't that special milk is it?"

                                                                  1 Reply
                                                                  1. When we were strapped, I said to DH: "I wonder what cat food tastes like." DH: "I wonder what CAT tastes like." The cat didn't think it was funny, and neither did I.