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Most Embarrassing Meal You Have Had Lately

You know mom wouldn't be happy if she knew you called that a meal. But we're busy people nowadays!
Most recently mine was nearly half of that tumeric/hazelnut loaf from Maison Kayser and a double macchiato for lunch...I may have called a half pint of talenti's blood orange sorbet breakfast one morning......

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  1. I am sorry. I was just sitting here daydreaming about how delicious your "bad" meals sound. Count me in!

      1. re: Monica

        If you're already there might as well pick up a few olive buns (entire kalamatas!) and a pistachio brioche.....

      2. Chocolate potatochip from Royce (Battery Park).

        4 Replies
        1. re: ipsedixit

          I spoke with one of the Madison Ave. employees (a nice Filipina), and she mentioned that two more Royce were in the works for NY, Bryant Park and Bleecker St. Maybe I misheard and Battery Park is the 2nd?

          Didn't realize they both opened already, but they're quality places to get samples from.

          1. re: BuildingMyBento

            As far as I know the Battery Park one has been open since at least August.

            1. re: ipsedixit

              Bryant park location is open too i believe...i wasn't too crazy about Royce chocolate.

              1. re: Monica

                Total brain lock on my part. Meant Bryant Park (not Battery Park). Apologies all around.

        2. first thing that comes to mind is the fried chicken and waffle sliders with cheddar and bacon in jalapeno maple syrup at Pork Slope. the most shameful part is not the dish itself, but that it's served as an appetizer. i followed it with a brisket sandwich and a side of mac and cheese, along with a beer or two. not sure if the clock had struck noon when we first sat down.

          1. a small (ish) bag of "wet spicy" beef jerky from new beef king on bayard street.

            chased, of course, with a diet pepsi.

            1 Reply
            1. re: debinqueens

              At least it was a balanced meal :) caffiene is a food group in my life.....

            2. Sushi. Why was it embarrassing?

              It was in Staten Island. If my mom finds out...

              1. half slice of Lady M green tea and chocolate mille crepes for lunch, followed by a small cup of soup from the soup spot.

                1. Last Sunday I was cleaning out my fridge and had spam, pickles, and blue cheese salad dressing on a hotdog bun. Sort of white trash reuben. It was good with a cold beer.

                  1. dang it, i am snacking on Reese's peanut butter puffs again...somebody come and take this box away from me!!

                    1 Reply
                    1. re: Monica

                      My kids picked those out last time they got 'sugar cereal' (it's a vacation thing) and I ate half the box. It's the salty goodness!

                    2. Four slices of cheddar cheese and an entire can of Goya anchovy-stuffed olives. Clearly, I was craving salt.

                      1 Reply
                      1. re: pinehurst

                        I find myself enjoying jars of things all the time - roasted peppers and jalapenos anyone. I did have a meal once of jars of kimchi, hot yellow peppers, and pickled onions

                      2. Ok, this is not NYC-related, but on Saturday night (after returning home from the Bruins game, where I was successful in avoiding all of the "food" sold at the game), I took a week-old piece of wagyu beef (from John Dewar, one of the best butchers in the Boston area; I had prepared it in a skillet a week earlier) out of the fridge and nuked it for 60 seconds with a low-fat babybel cheese round on top. (I've learned that nuking leftover steak for 30-60 seconds works incredibly well.)

                        Beat that!

                        1. My roommate constantly tells me that what I'm eating at the moment "does not count as a real meal" (e.g. half a jar of peanut butter for dinner, chips for lunch, etc). A few days ago I was starving & all I had in the apartment was a tin of biscuits someone had brought over as a gift from Fortnum & Mason in London .... mmmmm shortbread cookies for dinner.

                          4 Replies
                          1. re: sharebear

                            Maybe if you put nut butter on the cookies its a meal.....? I hurt my jar of marantha cashew butter just last night

                            1. re: Ttrockwood

                              My sister-in-law is not a cook. Never cooked at home in Malaysia. Always had a hired cook.
                              I love her. She's a wonderful person.
                              We were invited over for 'steak dinner'. Her first attempt. Somehow she got the instructions for broiling steak mixed up. She served us steaks that had reached 450F internal temperature.
                              Everyone was too embarrassed for her to say anything.
                              But later in the evening we all had a good laugh together. She wondered why nobody finished their steak. Neither did she BTW. LOL

                              1. re: Puffin3

                                A steak can reach 450°F internal temp? Wow.

                                1. re: linguafood

                                  Obviously the steaks didn't reach that temp but she had the oven cranked up to it's highest setting and I think her husband came into the kitchen to check how things were coming and noticed what was going on. By that time the steaks were literally like shoe leather.

                          2. There is nothing meal-related that would shock my mom. I remember her regular "lunch" as Tab and Cheez-its out of the box.

                            So I am not burdened by expectations.

                            In fact, she might find my lunch today of extra-sharp cheddar and an apple rather trite.

                            3 Replies
                            1. re: lsmutko

                              Same with my mom. Once my brother and I moved out, she used to love when my dad went out of town for work because she got to have popcorn and martinis for dinner. So the bar has been set pretty low.

                              That being said, I had carrots and Penzey's creamy peppercorn dressing for breakfast today. I think it's fine in that it at least has some nutritional benefit, but it's probably pretty random.

                              1. re: ErnieD

                                Get out! I put penzey's creamy peppercorn dressing on carrots too!

                              2. re: lsmutko

                                Tab and cheeze-its actually sounds good.....!
                                This time of year i eat tons of apples, with cheddar is such a great combo

                              3. Earlier this week, lunch at work. Half a packet of instant ramen noodles, cooked in the microwave. Plus 4 dill pickles salvaged from a jar in the work fridge.

                                5 Replies
                                1. re: tcamp

                                  God, I hate when people do that at work..stinks up the whole building!

                                  1. re: Monica

                                    I used to work at a place where the owner banned popcorn making. He traveled overseas frequently and then we all popped like crazy.

                                    1. re: Monica

                                      At my last job the "stink" of ramen noodles would have been welcomed compared to the daily atrocities commited in the name of a hot lunch.....fish curries zapped for five minutes come to mind.

                                      1. re: Ttrockwood

                                        curry stinks..fish stinks...both nuked in microwave at work...I'd look for a new job immediately.

                                        1. re: Ttrockwood

                                          Most of the people at my current job microwave frozen dinners. TTTT, I would actually appreciate the smell of "real" food being microwaved, even fish.

                                          My nose likes the smell of ramen, though, so clearly I'm defective in that regard.

                                    2. I had Skittles and black coffee for lunch one day.

                                      1. Last night I made a first for me and probably the world..
                                        Pita pocket stuffed with tons of hummus and added sambal, garlic, lemon with butter lettuce and those packets of dried cranberries/Pepita's/sunflower seeds mixes with a poppyseed dressing and I packed those bad boys up and it was so friggin' good...super weird, super good.
                                        Just had the other half for breakfast...outstanding!!

                                        4 Replies
                                        1. re: Beach Chick

                                          not sure why that would be embarrassing...sounds delicious.!

                                          1. re: Monica

                                            It actually does.

                                            When I was younger and could only afford something like a pita, yes just a pita, nothing and I mean nothing would satisfy me more than a fresh baked pita filled with... salt and pepper. Sometimes I do that just to recall that feeling

                                            And as for all the cooking mishaps here and terrible eating, I would suggest you guys do what I did 20 years ago. You will not only eat well but you will not have to make a decision for the rest of your life. Marry a Jewish woman!

                                            1. re: Ziggy41

                                              Regular pita from a supermarket vs freshly baked pita is two different animal. There is a Persian market in Great Neck called Shop Delight. They make their own sangak...I can eat that for breakfast, lunch and dinner..no salt or pepper or anything needed.
                                              btw, I married a Jewish guy who love pork cooked in milk made by me, a Korean gal. None of his friends who married Jewish women seem happy. Ha...

                                            2. re: Monica

                                              'You know mom wouldn't be happy if she knew you called that a meal.'

                                              It was incredible and it wasn't embarrassing for me but my dignified Southern Mother would of been freaked out.

                                          2. An entire 12 oz baguette and butter. (Not really that recent, though. 6 mo - 1 yr ago maybe.)

                                            3 Replies
                                              1. re: tcamp

                                                It's beautiful. I've had to stop buying them, because they'd be half (or completely) gone by the time I got home. And that was without butter, even!

                                              2. re: Kontxesi

                                                a good baguette with good butter is better than other stuff that's mediocre. I can live on baguette and butter. thank goodness I live close to a French bakery with good baguettes and I buy French butter to make it even better. yummm.i am salivating now.

                                              3. a Met-RX chocolate peanut protein bar and a Diet Coke. Full of proceesed stuff, yes, but at least there were some added vitamins and minerals. Not the first time I've done that and it won't be the last - I'm incapable of skipping meals, and sometimes the only option for lunch is a mini-mart.

                                                1 Reply
                                                1. re: cookie monster

                                                  Ooooh- those met-rx bars scare me..... Although i'm sure its a bit healthier than a kibg sized snickers

                                                2. Arby's drive through--brisket sandwich. First time I've been to Arby's in 20 years, I bet. But I was in drive-through need, and they were the place without the line at dinnertime.

                                                  Not terrible, actually. With better bun, it'd be worth a retry.

                                                  1. We're the captive audience of a hospital cafeteria, which, until about eight years ago, fed us pretty darn well. The problem started when a) budget cuts for health care started eating (so to speak) into the general operating fund, and b) the powers that be decided that We Should Be Served Healthy Meals in the Cafeteria. Sadly, they don't currently do healthy food well. The fresh green beans and asparagus are usually varying shades of brown and often mushy. hey seve "Italian" offerings with whole wheat pasta that's falling apart by the time you get it. I know they mean well, but a whole lot of the time the offerings are nothing short of gross, and I'm not that picky. The grill is the best thing they have, with several cooks that really know their stuff, but (and this is another thing) you don't get the Living Well 25% discount if you get their non-LW choices. It's sad. I spnd less there now than I ever have. They have ratcheted up their salad bar, and I often get that, but the ingredients don't vary much at all and it gets monotonous. Sigh.
                                                    So basically, 2-4 times a week when I don't[ bring my lunch.

                                                    1 Reply
                                                    1. re: EWSflash

                                                      Yikes, that sounds kind of horrific-maybe its intentional as a "weight loss" strategy.....;)
                                                      I never understood why people over cook vegetables to death.

                                                    2. A polish sausage sandwich and fries with beer cheese, bacon and green onions. I felt so guilty eating it - it was all so bad for me - but I somehow enjoyed it!!