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Oct 4, 2013 03:00 AM

If you knew you would die tomorrow, what would be your last meal, food, drink, setting ?

Mine is quite simple, steamed Baltimore crabs, with an off dry Loire chenin blanc or a dark high alcoholic Belgian ale. To me setting is not particularily important.

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  1. I suspect that I would be too upset to eat. Or, perhaps, too unwell.

    But, to play along, the actual content of the meal would be unimportant. Eating it with my loved ones would be.

    Interesting thought, though - after all these years on the wagon (and as a non-smoker), would I want a glass of wine with the food. And a Calvados and a couple of cigarettes wioth the after dinner coffee.

    1. Starters, put the ball on the tee: A few bottles of different Reposados, a healthy bag of weed, a pack or two of Camel Filters, and a cooler full of iced down, cheap, nearly tasteless, canned beers - Piels, Coors, Schaeffer, etc. (No PBR though as a final sign of indignant, fruitless, meaningless protest.). Way I see it, at a last meal, I want "POP!" not "pairings" - "SLUGS" not "sips".

      I similarly think it important to have "loved ones" around. Mrs. Z, and maybe a relative or two, but mostly friends - good time friends. The kinda friends who wanna talk about the time you tried to cannonball from the bed of your truck into the neighbor's hot tub - "Dude, there was so much blood." The kinda friends who shut up when your wife approaches, even though they're only discussing the weather. The kinda friends who bring their own booze and tune their own guitars!

      Certainly, not the people in your life who might share some lame-ass story about how cute you were at your First Communion or the time you wore parachute pants to the second day of your Sophomore year. Oh, and, definitely not anyone you have slept with and are not presently married to - no one need to hear some teary-eyed soul plead, "I always loved you SOOOO much" the night before they die, particularly with their spouse within earshot.

      As to food, I think that should be a thing of whim. I'll call someone to bring me an Indian spread from Iselin - "Rent a fuckin' truck if you have to . . ."

      Another to get a sacka White Rose burgers. "Yeah, man, sure, call your Sister after she gets outta church. She's invited. Just tell her to ask the guys at the counter for the 'Highland Park PD Picnic Package'."

      Later, you realize, "You know what else, we need. We gotta send for that old lady from South River who makes those righteous pierogis and tell her to "move them arthritic fingers like she's still only seventy-five".

      Hell, I'd just keep going. "OK, guys, let's grab some rebar and use it as sticks to "campfire roast" whole logs of Pork Roll like they're hot dogs, while we wait for the Dim Sum to arrive."

      One buddy starts chanting, "PORK ROLL FIRESIDE TASTE TEST!!!! PORK ROLL FIRESIDE TASTE TEST!!!! PORK ROLL FIRESIDE TASTE TEST!!!!" as he stops trying to figure out how to make a bong out of the brand new, Tommy Bahama shirt his wife made him wear and starts jumping up and down.

      Two hours later, wiping that wonderful, gold distillate of agave from my lips, I announce, "More food, Gargoyle!" and slap my hands together. "Honey, you want anything on your pizza?"

      Since, I'm kinda partial to the foods that are my true kin, in my blood, and the place that has always been my mental home, I spose I'd set this whole thing on the beach I learned to surf at - the beach I always came home to. It's less than a half mile walk from my house, the cops are cool with locals about the noise, my "guests" can sleep there if need be when they pass out, and any of us can get some Atlantic salt on our tongues and in our nostrils all party long.

      Moreover, Mrs. Z knows that just outside the North Jetty is where I want my ashes spread - maybe, if someone can scrounge up a cheap case of tequila before sunrise, I'll even help build the pyre and pour that Blanco on it. Go out for real (not like those dreams I have where the Governor calls and apologizes 'cause he had the "wrong number"). How cool would "Here, Man, use the lighter you gave me" be for your last words?

      At bottom, shouldn't a last meal be a last party?

      2 Replies
      1. re: MGZ

        Reminds my of the orgasm scene in When Harry Met Sally, I wanna say "I'll have what he's ^ having!", although the weed'll likely get me all paranoid while beach sand grits my teeth....

        Anthony Bourdain gave me a book called My Last Supper - 50 Great Chefs and Their Final Meals
        These folks answer last meal, the setting, drinks, music, companions, and who would prepare the meal.

        1. re: MGZ

          You are my frigging hero!

          There is nothing sexier than a balls to the wall kind of guy. .

        2. I posted this in another discussion on last meal and $50:
          I immediately thought Katz's Pastrami sammich on rye, vanilla egg cream and Junior's strawberry cheese pie.
          On second thought: I'd take my old Brooklyn sweetie Gina out for a lobster dinner. $50 would cover her dinner. I'd watch her eat while I have a cup of coffee.
          After a lobster dinner Gina was mine for the night!!
          What a way to go!!

          1. The venue would have to be my local pub. One for the few South London boozers that hasn't fallen prey to the gastro pub and baby buggy mania.Obviously I couldn't get any of this food there as all there is, is pork scratchings and ham rolls of dubious age wrapped in cling film.

            Menu as follows

            Amuse bouche: Scotch egg with a pint of Tribute
            Starter: Duck heart salad with a Pinot Noir
            Fish: Pulpo a la Galga with a glass of Albarino
            Main: Steak and kidney pudding with a pint of Timothy Taylors Landlord
            Dessert: Plum crumble with custard and a glass of single varietal cider.
            Cheese : Various cheeses and pickles and chutneys. Must include Keens Cheddar, Stichelton and Bermondsey Spa and also Mostarda as one of the pickles. Very old vintage port to go with it
            Bottle of Laphroig 18 yr old for after dinner. Also a packet of full strength Gitanes for throughout the evening.

            Failing that just give me great fish and chips from the newspaper on Bridlington sea front and a flask of tea.

            1. Is this a fantasy scenario (where local availability and logistics don't apply)? If so:

              Setting: A west facing beach in Tahiti (any island will do) so I can watch the sunset (I am checking out at sunset, aren't I?) with me fading away with the last of the twilight.

              Food: (in no particular order; imagine if you will, the world's most perfect lazy Susan):

              A fresh- out-of-the-water Maine lobster
              Lucque olives
              A bowl of my homemade Chex Mix
              A plate of raw beef tenderloin drizzled with newly pressed olive oil
              Seared foie gras
              My Mom's Thanksgiving turkey stuffing
              Mussels in garlic/wine butter
              A piece of ABC store Spam musubi
              My Grandmother's homemade sour cherry Hungarian strudel

              Drink: My body does not tolerate alcohol well, so Iced Fuji water and Mexican Coca Cola.

              Misc: A deluxe beach chair, a pack of Eve Menthol Lights and a really nice lighter and ashtray (no plastic need apply).

              Company: None; I'm goin' out alone.

              6 Replies
              1. re: Pwmfan

                That Fuji water realy snowmelt from Mt. Fuji, or is it only urban legend?

                1. re: porker

                  Damned auto-correct (although it wouldn't surprise me if that was the next "premium" water to hit the market and, with me being a sucker for a good ad campaign' I'd probably buy it). When I do spluge on Fiji (caught it this time!)' it really tastes good, though.

                  1. re: porker

                    Actually, Fuji Water is a very old brand of mineral water in Japan, said to some from a spring near Mt. Fuji. It comes in returnable glass bottles in a plastic case of 24. I haven't seen it in Tokyo in years and wonder if they are still in business. An Internet search turns up nothing...

                    1. re: porker

                      Fiji water now belongs to the same company/owners as POM Wonderful/Paramont Farms-pomegranate products, I believe.

                        1. re: porker

                          It seems Mt. Fuji water is owned by Fujisan Senzui, Inc.They do claim the water's source is underground springs of Mt. Fuji. Interesting info.