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Do people's food choices/ preferences impact how attractive you find them?

mokmokdog Sep 24, 2013 10:46 PM

As in the kind of dish they select on a date, whether they prefer spicy / sweet food or whatever

  1. juliejulez Oct 6, 2013 10:17 AM

    Back when I was dating, I was a bit judgy about a guys' food preferences. Like I thought if a guy said his favorite restaurant was Olive Garden, then we automatically wouldn't get along.

    But then I met my SO. He is a meat & potatoes kind of guy, that's how he was raised. But, he will try pretty much anything I put in front of him. If he doesn't like something, I won't make it again for him. He has some food preferences, like he dislikes peas, but so do I, like I dislike beans. He also has some health issues that prevents him from eating really spicy foods, whereas the more heat the better for me. I just save the spicy stuff for when he's not around.

    In the end, it's not a big deal because there's so many other elements to what makes a great relationship. It helps that he's super cute and funny :)

    Now, I would have a hard time with a vegetarian or vegan. I also dated a guy once who didn't drink alcohol at all, just because (not because of health or because he was recovering or whatever), and that was hard too.

    1 Reply
    1. re: juliejulez
      foiegras Oct 6, 2013 10:21 AM

      I have never dated a vegetarian or vegan, but I like to think I wouldn't let it be a dealbreaker. A judgy one it would be, but being judgmental period is a dealbreaker for me. I think it's important to be thoughtful about the choices you make in life, and if that's where thoughtfulness leads you, well ...

    2. t
      Ttrockwood Oct 4, 2013 07:18 PM

      As others have said someone who is overly picky or with a palate similar to a child's that is unattractive to me simply because it implies they are close minded and rigid.
      Someone who is willing to share is a plus- "you have to try my dish it's amazing!"
      Enthusiasm and positive energy are important- i want someone who will focus on the best part of the meal and overlook the small stuff. Anyone who is judgemental or a know-it-all is a huge turnoff.

      If you invite me over to cook me dinner it could be burnt toast and peanut butter and i already adore you for the simple gesture of putting in the effort- but maybe next time i'll make us dinner, and you can pick up wine, ok?

      1 Reply
      1. re: Ttrockwood
        foiegras Oct 4, 2013 07:29 PM

        Too right about being a sharer and positivity. If someone can't share what's on their plate, it doesn't bode well for sharing everything else.

      2. r
        Redstickchef Oct 4, 2013 02:29 PM

        Yes. I like to eat junk food occasionally and don't mind indulging on a date. However, if I am going out with you and all you are ordering is greasy, salty junk, that is a huge turnoff to me. I like to be with someone that likes to indulge but also is aware of what they are putting in their body. I'm also a pretty adventurous eater so if I'm dining with someone that is not willing to go past meat and potatoes, that is pretty much the last time that they will hear from me.

        2 Replies
        1. re: Redstickchef
          JonParker Oct 6, 2013 07:03 AM

          That's a bit of a catch-22. Assuming that I ever date again (did I mention that my last relationship was really, really bad? Oh, I see I did) I'd be likely to take someone to a more mainstream type place at first rather than what I would consider foodie heaven. If I don't know their palate, I'd play it safe, although food would be on the conversational menu for any first date.

          I like greasy, salty junk just fine, but I'd hate for my future as a boyfriend to depend on it one way or the other.

          1. re: JonParker
            foiegras Oct 6, 2013 09:10 AM

            Don't give up, Jon ... life is both too short & too long to give up ;)

            I have a broad palate, and I appreciate that in another person as well. I have given up on Velveeta now because it tastes all metallic & chemically & awful to me at this point, but there's definitely a part of me that would like to have both aged crystally Gouda and Velveeta in my shopping basket. That cheese food sure does melt like a champ.

        2. HillJ Sep 27, 2013 05:31 AM

          Sometimes how attractive I find their brain.

          14 Replies
          1. re: HillJ
            Beach Chick Sep 27, 2013 06:08 AM

            Exactly HillJ..
            The brain is the most attractive of all.

            1. re: Beach Chick
              c oliver Sep 27, 2013 06:31 AM

              And the heart.

              1. re: c oliver
                HillJ Sep 27, 2013 06:32 AM

                with the right brain, a heart can be moved towards change.

                1. re: HillJ
                  Veggo Sep 27, 2013 06:59 AM

                  What ever happened to the chiseled jaw, square shoulders, washboard abs, and the squirrel in the Speedo?...:)
                  This is starting to sound like Grey's Anatomy....

                  1. re: Veggo
                    Beach Chick Sep 27, 2013 07:03 AM

                    It's no good if 'Pretty Boy' is a dumb ass. .

                    1. re: Veggo
                      HillJ Sep 27, 2013 07:05 AM

                      Oh I'm still looking from the neck down, V. I'm not dead...I'm just prioritized!

                    2. re: HillJ
                      c oliver Sep 27, 2013 07:04 AM

                      Agreed. And with a bad heart, a brain might not open.

                      1. re: HillJ
                        Perilagu Khan Sep 27, 2013 07:17 AM

                        A lame brain moves towards change. A powerful one moves toward improvement.

                        1. re: Perilagu Khan
                          c oliver Sep 27, 2013 07:18 AM

                          Isn't improvement one form of change?

                          1. re: c oliver
                            Perilagu Khan Sep 27, 2013 08:18 AM

                            Of course. But change, tout court, is not improvement. There is degradation/deterioration and there is improvement. Both are change. But if you desire improvement, not merely change for change's sake, you should say so.

                            1. re: Perilagu Khan
                              c oliver Sep 27, 2013 11:04 AM

                              Yeah, what you said :)

                          2. re: Perilagu Khan
                            HillJ Sep 27, 2013 07:22 AM

                            For some, power is sexy as hell.

                            1. re: HillJ
                              Veggo Sep 27, 2013 07:28 AM

                              I suspected you have the hots for Jim Jong Un....:)

                              1. re: Veggo
                                HillJ Sep 27, 2013 08:36 AM

                                Ha! You've got me pegged (not) :)

                  2. Beach Chick Sep 26, 2013 09:56 PM

                    If my date was a prick to the wait staff...cheap ass tipper...drank too much..had no decorum and he wore bad shoes..deal breakers for me.
                    I don't eat red meat but I like my man to enjoy a good steak every now and then.
                    If he didn't like garlic, he wouldn't be rounding into second base!!

                    1 Reply
                    1. re: Beach Chick
                      Beach Chick Oct 6, 2013 07:10 AM

                      Forgot to add that he'd have to like red wine!

                    2. m
                      mwhitmore Sep 26, 2013 09:32 PM

                      Yes. I once dated a super-model-type woman. She ordered 'Just a salad, no dressing.' No possibility of a LTR.

                      1. f
                        foiegras Sep 26, 2013 06:41 PM

                        Yes ... I appreciate an adventurous and open-minded approach to food.

                        I do expect a man to be able to use eating utensils in some kind of reasonable and standard way.

                        1. r
                          ratgirlagogo Sep 26, 2013 11:26 AM

                          Food is sensual, and I'm not going to enjoy myself with anyone who's not a sensualist. I don't care if they pick out all the onions or think cilantro tastes like soap, vegetarian, vegan, carnivore, whatever. But they have to LOVE to eat. I can't deal with people who don't take physical pleasure in eating. If you don't like eating, you don't like fucking - at least not the way I like to fuck.
                          Of course Mr. Rat LOVES food. We've been together 16 years as of this week.

                          3 Replies
                          1. re: ratgirlagogo
                            c oliver Sep 26, 2013 12:25 PM

                            Well said, ratgirl :)

                            1. re: c oliver
                              Perilagu Khan Sep 27, 2013 07:14 AM

                              Indeed. Rarely have I encountered such refined, dignified and graceful prose on a website. I've no doubt that Emily Bronte is blushing furiously with envy.

                              1. re: Perilagu Khan
                                HillJ Sep 27, 2013 07:19 AM

                                Not Charles Bukowski?

                          2. d
                            Dotyparx Sep 26, 2013 10:52 AM

                            Absolutely not! I don't consider myself an adventurous eater, but my boyfriend makes me look like a gourmand. I'm constantly amazed by all the foods he has never tried in his life. For instance, he's never tried a banana, an orange, or peas. He has never eaten fish. He has never tried any kind of pie, ever. His favorite foods are frozen burritos, hamburgers, and golobki (Polish stuffed cabbage). The only issue I would have with someone's food preferences and dating is if someone judged ME for what I ate and didn't eat.

                            4 Replies
                            1. re: Dotyparx
                              c oliver Sep 26, 2013 11:33 AM

                              And HOW long has he been your BF????? A banana? Good grief!

                              1. re: c oliver
                                Dotyparx Sep 26, 2013 03:47 PM

                                Heh! He's 37 and has been my boyfriend for four years. I intend to keep him. And I even got him to try cheesecake once. (He'd never had that either.)

                                1. re: Dotyparx
                                  c oliver Sep 26, 2013 03:59 PM

                                  So he's willing to try something occasionally? Like maybe four times a year. May be hope for the 'boy' :)

                              2. re: Dotyparx
                                Chemicalkinetics Sep 26, 2013 12:00 PM

                                <For instance, he's never tried a banana, an orange, or peas. He has never eaten fish. He has never tried any kind of pie, ever. His favorite foods are frozen burritos, hamburgers, and golobki (Polish stuffed cabbage).>

                                So.... how old is your boyfriend?

                              3. c
                                charmedgirl Sep 26, 2013 09:58 AM

                                If someone does not have comparable food tastes to mine (mostly unprocessed, non-vegetarian but huge on vegetables, always up for dessert, alcohol-drinking, etc.) I tend to think it is less likely that a relationship would work out between us. I just enjoy food and cooking too much; it would be a constant disappointment to me if my partner were not excited to squeeze into a hole-in-the-wall I read about, share dessert, celebrate an occasion by splurging on a tasting menu, eat my latest recipe experiment (or help cook it!), etc. And knowing that a relationship is unlikely to work out just naturally, almost on a subconscious level, makes the other person less attractive to me. Not less physically attractive, but less relationship-ly attractive. Kinda like when I meet a guy and think, "wow, he's great" and then I see the ring; he's no longer an option so any interest I might have had immediately disappears.

                                1. p
                                  Pookipichu Sep 26, 2013 09:35 AM

                                  Easy going eaters are more attractive. Also, people who SHARE their food. It still strikes me as odd that some people absolutely refuse to share any food, even a dish that is meant to be shared or in a restaurant that is family style.

                                  2 Replies
                                  1. re: Pookipichu
                                    Motosport Sep 26, 2013 10:38 AM

                                    Which reminds me of another woman I dated. She would not share anything. We were at a street fair and she got a lemonade which was huge. I asked for a sip and she went back and got me another one. I took a few gulps and tossed it. She could never explain it. Since we had been rather intimate it made less sense.
                                    One night we went out with 3 other couples who I had filled in on her phobia. I could nit help myself. When the main course came everyone started sharing with everyone else and I could see her head was ready to explode.
                                    That was the end of it for us. She broke it off. She was rather attractive.

                                    1. re: Motosport
                                      Pookipichu Sep 26, 2013 10:48 AM

                                      I've had that drink thing happen multiple times, with food too. How about an appetizer with individual portions in individual containers? "You should order one yourself". So weird. I just want a taste, I don't want to order a duplicate dish. And I wasn't with a plate cleaner either, just super territorial, didn't want me trying food off the plate even after we were done eating.

                                  2. jrvedivici Sep 26, 2013 08:24 AM

                                    There is a lot to be said about the way a person orders on a date. If a woman just orders a salad and eats half of it then pushes the plate away as if she is stuffed, I would have an issue with that.

                                    To me it doesn't matter as much what she would eat, as long as she ate. If a woman is going to pretend that half a salad is so filling for her, it’s obvious she is lying. Nobody if full by half a salad, so if she is already putting up a false front, on a first date, that’s a turn off.

                                    That’s not to say seeing a girl woof down an entire meatball parmesan sub in 2 minutes is my dream date either. Lol For me it’s more about just being genuine, not trying to be something you think I want, or what you think you should be to be found acceptable.

                                    9 Replies
                                    1. re: jrvedivici
                                      Veggo Sep 26, 2013 09:10 AM

                                      If her weight is in correct proportion to her height, and she can wolf down a meatball parmesan sub in 2 minutes, that would get my attention.

                                      1. re: Veggo
                                        Perilagu Khan Sep 26, 2013 09:35 AM

                                        No kidding.

                                        Generally speaking, I like women who have healthy appetites. Those who pick and scrimp and act all fussy and perturbed by the act of eating don't ring my bell.

                                        1. re: Veggo
                                          Bill Hunt Sep 26, 2013 09:36 PM

                                          Over the decades, I have seen many studies, that compare one's dining appetite, to their sexual appetite. Now sure how many were correct?


                                          1. re: Bill Hunt
                                            c oliver Sep 27, 2013 05:13 AM

                                            Could you cite one please?

                                            1. re: c oliver
                                              Bill Hunt Sep 27, 2013 06:10 PM

                                              I would start with "Playboy," the magazine, starting with the early 1960's. Because of the nature of those studies (obviously, possibly of interest to their readers), they cited findings of several. The Kinsey Institute contributed several, IIRC, http://www.kinseyinstitute.org/

                                              I'll see what I can come up with.


                                              1. re: Bill Hunt
                                                c oliver Sep 28, 2013 04:42 PM

                                                Hunt, I gotta tell ya that anything from Playboy or Kinsey isn't going to fly these days. Sorry, bud.

                                                1. re: c oliver
                                                  Bill Hunt Oct 2, 2013 06:23 PM

                                                  Well, you have to remember that this was the 1960's, so take that with a grain of salt. You had to be there, to understand.


                                            2. re: Bill Hunt
                                              jrvedivici Oct 2, 2013 11:31 AM

                                              Could explain why I love buffets.

                                          2. re: jrvedivici
                                            Jase Sep 26, 2013 03:04 PM

                                            I lie to joke that I fell in love with my wife when she got the same order as me and matched me bite for bite. Double chili cheese burgers and chili cheese fries. All while dressed in nice work clothes since we were in a hurry to catch an opening band right after work.

                                            Despite the healthy appetite, she is still very attractive all these years and people mistake her for being at least a decade or more younger than actual.

                                          3. i
                                            INDIANRIVERFL Sep 26, 2013 08:16 AM

                                            If it is on the menu, it is fair game.

                                            If they have a long list of can't, wont, don't, and shouldn't, I do not see this getting past a handshake good night. Whatever her offer.

                                            1. mtlcowgirl Sep 26, 2013 08:06 AM

                                              A man with a healthy appetite for food will have a healthy appetite for me, too. (It's the story I'm sticking with, yes.)

                                              1. sandiasingh Sep 26, 2013 07:01 AM

                                                Most definitely. Food is my life, it's what I do, so how another person views food is extremely important to me. I am no longer in the dating scene and I don't remember if that was always the case when I was, but regarding anyone I meet, any of our friends or family, what they eat and how they think about food is crucial to my impression of them. Luckily, I found my adorable husband who thinks I am the best home cook in the world, and we still recall our first real date when I made him beef bourguignon. Needless to say, it was a slam dunk from that day forward :-)

                                                1. s
                                                  sal_acid Sep 26, 2013 06:51 AM

                                                  Table manners matter a lot but food not really. Eat whatever you like.

                                                  Unless it was something indicative of bad taste like putting ranch dressing on a pizza.

                                                  Don't think I could marry a vegan...too many restaurant problems for the long term relationship.

                                                  1 Reply
                                                  1. re: sal_acid
                                                    tacosandbeer Sep 27, 2013 07:02 PM

                                                    Hey now, ranch dressing on pizza isn't bad taste! For some of us, it's just like those of you who enjoy your fries with mayo - it's a regional thing!

                                                  2. b
                                                    bobbert Sep 26, 2013 04:15 AM

                                                    I don't understand it myself but my wife finds me very unattractive when I eat. She refers to my eating habits as obsessive repulsive.

                                                    6 Replies
                                                    1. re: bobbert
                                                      youareabunny Sep 26, 2013 06:42 AM

                                                      Do you mean particular? Cutting each item in the exact same pieces, mixing everything together in certain ways? Or shoveling food into your mouth?

                                                      I guess that's another one. A sloppy eater would be a major turn off.

                                                      1. re: youareabunny
                                                        bobbert Sep 26, 2013 10:56 AM

                                                        I'm fairly well-mannered. It's more about volume. She's tiny and I'm not. She can't understand why someone who is twice her size is not satisfied with the same amount of food as she eats. I can eat a good lunch at 1 PM, a snack at 4 PM and a full blown 3 or 4 course dinner at 6 PM. She can't and because she can't, believes that I shouldn't eat that much either.

                                                        1. re: bobbert
                                                          westsidegal Sep 26, 2013 10:07 PM

                                                          i'm on the small side, yet if i let myself, i could happily eat much more than you.

                                                      2. re: bobbert
                                                        Bill Hunt Sep 26, 2013 09:33 PM

                                                        Oh, that is so not nice. Shame on her. Hope that there are points, within which you can find adequate reciprocity.


                                                        1. re: Bill Hunt
                                                          bobbert Sep 27, 2013 02:40 PM

                                                          There are definitely a few things we do that she has way more stamina than me, like, uh... running, yeah, running. She can run a lot further than me :-)

                                                          1. re: bobbert
                                                            Bill Hunt Sep 27, 2013 06:06 PM

                                                            Hey, that works just fine - reciprocity!


                                                      3. Bill Hunt Sep 25, 2013 09:15 PM

                                                        Well, as I have been out of the "dating scene," since before most ChowHounds were born, I might not be the best person to comment on this. However, if we twist it around a bit, and say we host several folk, how will I be impacted by a guest's choice? That I can recall, not at all. I have had guests only do some odd little salads, and then some order the "giant" ribeye. I have never thought better, or less, of any of them, and hope that they have no negative feelings about me, because of the meals that I have ordered.


                                                        1. ipsedixit Sep 25, 2013 07:07 PM

                                                          If they have a preference for my cooking, then I generally find them to be attractive.

                                                          Or, at the very least, very hungry and desperate.

                                                          1. b
                                                            BostonLover Sep 25, 2013 06:37 PM

                                                            I second others' opinions about people who are unwilling to try new things or decide they don't like something without ever having tasted it. My now-husband used to be less adventurous with food than I was, now he eats stuff I give the side-eye! I definitely judge people whose diets consist mainly of processed and/or fast foods.

                                                            2 Replies
                                                            1. re: BostonLover
                                                              FriedClamFanatic Sep 25, 2013 07:02 PM

                                                              The first part, I agree. The second part......well, i'm more on the other side of the fence. PPL who moan on and on about eating organic and shunning All processed foods, I usually find have found a cple of nice labels that they have no idea what they really mean. That alone sends up a yellow flag about how scintillating their company might be.

                                                              1. re: FriedClamFanatic
                                                                Perilagu Khan Sep 26, 2013 08:04 AM

                                                                Any gal who whines about something processed and ostentatiously lectures about organic, fair trade, locovore, yada yada yada is off my list before she's on it.

                                                            2. f
                                                              FriedClamFanatic Sep 25, 2013 02:17 PM

                                                              I'm a guy. Other than few drinks after work, my first "date" with said lady was to come down to my house and help me rake leaves. Classy, huh?

                                                              Since time was getting on, I made her dinner.....Grilled cheese with little radishes cut up like flowers ( and I think chips) and fancy Irish coffee afterwards with colored sugar on the rim

                                                              Well, after 5 years of living in sin and 33 years of marriage, we still see each other every morning! And I still do 90% of the cooking...........tho hopefully a bit better.

                                                              2 Replies
                                                              1. re: FriedClamFanatic
                                                                cayjohan Sep 25, 2013 02:26 PM

                                                                This sounds like my son and his girlfriend. (You might have been hipsta before your time!) I'd hope for the same outcome for mine as you have had with your beloved.

                                                                Nothin' ever wrong with a grilled cheese sandwich, in my opinion.

                                                                1. re: FriedClamFanatic
                                                                  Motosport Sep 26, 2013 06:44 AM

                                                                  There is a photograph in our home of my lovely wife all bundled up raking leaves in our yard. Lovely as always!!

                                                                2. Motosport Sep 25, 2013 01:30 PM

                                                                  Sorry for hogging this topic with three responses but:
                                                                  I've related this story on other topics. Sorry to repeat but it's interesting and pertinent.
                                                                  A casual female friend had set up a blind date with a guy. She suggested they meet at Nathan's Back Room, a little known gem in Coney Island. Back in the day Nathan's actually had a dining room with waiters. It was a bit of a Brooklyn secret and very impressive for a first date.
                                                                  So, they get there and the date seems ok. Her favorite waiter comes over and takes the order of hot dogs fries and beer.
                                                                  The order comes and they start to eat. He quickly calls over the waiter and says with great emotion: "These fries are cold, I like my fries and my women HOTTTTTTTTTT!!!"
                                                                  Needless to say he fell right off the attractive meter.

                                                                  1. Motosport Sep 25, 2013 01:16 PM

                                                                    For me, as a man first and a foodie second, if I was to meet an absolutely "stunning" woman who's food tastes were boring or irritating it would impact how I felt about her BUT not right away. I'd "endure" for a short period of time.
                                                                    I am a man after all.
                                                                    Interesting enough, during the years between wife #1 and #2 I dated "D" a very attractive ex model, vegetarian. She was not militant about being a vegetarian so it did work for a while until she dumped me because "It's just not working." Whatever that means.
                                                                    Later I ran into a mutual friend who confided: "D said the sex was great but you always seemed to have your mind on your next meal." Go figure?

                                                                    3 Replies
                                                                    1. re: Motosport
                                                                      cayjohan Sep 25, 2013 01:42 PM

                                                                      "as a man first and a foodie second"

                                                                      It really comes down to that, doesn't it? Person first, <insert whatever hobby/passion/food > in the second slot. If, for the purposes of this topic, "foodieness" actually got in the way of "person-ness," it's a no brainer for me. I always prefer the person, and couldn't care less if they liked foods I didn't, and vice versa.

                                                                      1. re: Motosport
                                                                        foiegras Sep 26, 2013 06:47 PM

                                                                        Perhaps you are a foodie first ...

                                                                        1. re: foiegras
                                                                          Motosport Sep 27, 2013 02:52 AM

                                                                          Foodie a very, very, very close second.
                                                                          After a long, fabulous, sumptuous, satisfying meal I'd rarely think: "let's have sex!"
                                                                          But the other way around!!

                                                                      2. o
                                                                        ospreycove Sep 25, 2013 11:26 AM

                                                                        Most assurdly! any woman who orders a nice bowl of "Trippa alla Romana" and asks for more dried pepperoncini must be extremely attractive in all ways................

                                                                        1. l
                                                                          LeoLioness Sep 25, 2013 11:13 AM

                                                                          Yes, I think so. I can't abide picky eaters or unadventurous eaters and I think a lot of "diets" seem like a real drag. On the other hand, I don't like gluttony, either. All good things in moderation.

                                                                          And while I generally admire the sentiments, dining with vegans can be so limiting, particularly when traveling....I doubt I'd be into that.

                                                                          1. WhatsEatingYou Sep 25, 2013 09:43 AM

                                                                            I cannot stand when someone is overly picky in an ignorant way, such as picking tomatoes out of a salad because he does not like them, or not eating something because it contains a certain vegetable, this is immature and stupid behavior in my mind!
                                                                            I once dated someone who would bring over pizza and eat the whole thing before we went out so that he wouldn't be hungry later and have to spend money, cheapskates are unattractive!
                                                                            As someone else mentioned, someone consuming large quantities of highly processed junk food, is also not someone for me.
                                                                            In terms of types of food, spicy, sweet, etc all is fine by me, its more about the quality they choose that I judge since I think it tells a lot about one's interests and health.

                                                                            5 Replies
                                                                            1. re: WhatsEatingYou
                                                                              c oliver Sep 25, 2013 11:26 AM

                                                                              So if one doesn't like tomatoes and there's tomato in a salad, why shouldn't s/he pick it out. I do that regularly with cucumbers. Am I being "overly picky in an ignorant way"?

                                                                              1. re: c oliver
                                                                                WhatsEatingYou Sep 25, 2013 12:03 PM

                                                                                Just my opinion, but it depends. If you are picking out the cucumbers because they are the only non-organic item in an otherwise organic dish, then wow that's attractive! Or if they make you ill, fine. For example I will sometimes pick out onion because I hate having that taste in my mouth all day. But if its simply because you have convinced yourself you do not like them, then yes it bothers me, metaphorically, its like salting something before you've tasted it. I only feel this way about fruits and vegetables.

                                                                                1. re: WhatsEatingYou
                                                                                  c oliver Sep 25, 2013 12:16 PM

                                                                                  I pick out cucumbers because I don't like cucumbers. I assume that your "hate having that taste" in your mouth is the same thing as not liking them.

                                                                                  1. re: WhatsEatingYou
                                                                                    debbiel Sep 25, 2013 07:55 PM

                                                                                    I'm confused. Why do you get to dislike onions but your potential date cannot dislike tomatoes?

                                                                                    I eat primarily organic produce at home. I prefer local restaurants that buy from local organic farmers. And yet, if my date picked cucumbers out of a salad because they were the only non-organic item in the salad, that would probably be a turn off for me.

                                                                                    I guess to sum, WhatsEatingYou and I probably won't be dating any time soon. :)

                                                                                    1. re: debbiel
                                                                                      WhatsEatingYou Sep 26, 2013 09:00 AM

                                                                                      Well I actually enjoy onions but I do not enjoy tasting onions on my breath for the next 12 hours after eating them (even if I chew gum, brush my teeth, etc), but that is what happens to me. So yes if there is some adverse effect or the taste bothers you, understandable. But, for example, I had a colleague who told me he "did not eat vegetables", he would make an effort to scrape every last bit of tomato off of his chicken wrap...this sort of behavior is what I am speaking to.

                                                                              2. c
                                                                                cleobeach Sep 25, 2013 09:13 AM

                                                                                I haven't dated in 20+ years but I do remember very much liking my husband's appreciation for good food and drink. It made him seem mature to me and that was appealing.

                                                                                1. Chemicalkinetics Sep 25, 2013 09:07 AM

                                                                                  A little bit. However, I will say that "how" she orders the foods has greater effect than "what" she orders.

                                                                                  1. Perilagu Khan Sep 25, 2013 08:45 AM

                                                                                    I would be far less inclined to kiss a woman who ate what I considered to be muck and filth.

                                                                                    1 Reply
                                                                                    1. re: Perilagu Khan
                                                                                      Veggo Sep 25, 2013 08:50 AM

                                                                                      PK, you may hear from the Lubbock Chamber of Commerce for that one...

                                                                                    2. Veggo Sep 25, 2013 07:51 AM

                                                                                      In a dating setting, I'm more inclined to interpret what she orders as how attractive she finds me. Chicken means game over. Lobster means laissez les bon temps rouler!

                                                                                      18 Replies
                                                                                      1. re: Veggo
                                                                                        lamb_da_calculus Sep 25, 2013 09:27 AM

                                                                                        Just curious, what's the logic behind this?

                                                                                        1. re: lamb_da_calculus
                                                                                          Veggo Sep 25, 2013 09:33 AM

                                                                                          Those who don't want to break my heart later are often courteous enough not to break my wallet first.

                                                                                          1. re: Veggo
                                                                                            small h Sep 25, 2013 09:46 AM

                                                                                            Your outlook is much less cynical than mine. I would think lobster lady was gathering her rosebuds while she may, since she knew there wasn't going to be a date #2. And chicken lady was pacing herself, and trying to impress you with her practical nature, in preparation for a long and fruitful association.

                                                                                            1. re: small h
                                                                                              Veggo Sep 25, 2013 10:09 AM

                                                                                              It took a few experiences to learn how to vet out the rosebud lobster ladies and avoid the ignominy.

                                                                                              1. re: Veggo
                                                                                                small h Sep 25, 2013 11:19 AM

                                                                                                I'm a terrible vetter, so I just try to be prepared. After a string of dates with guys who did not want to go anywhere that served food (dieting? shy about eating in front of someone? trying to get me drunk? who knows), I took to carrying a sandwich in my purse.

                                                                                                I suppose I wouldn't be attracted to a very fussy eater, but the (very few) fussy eaters I know are all women, and I've never wanted to date any of them.

                                                                                              2. re: small h
                                                                                                charmedgirl Sep 26, 2013 06:37 AM

                                                                                                Love the Herrick allusion. Nicely done.

                                                                                                1. re: charmedgirl
                                                                                                  small h Sep 26, 2013 08:04 AM

                                                                                                  Thanks. Someone should update that poem. I'll start.

                                                                                                  Tattoo your biceps while they're taut
                                                                                                  And boys 'round you are lurking.
                                                                                                  Too soon donning jeggings will prove for naught
                                                                                                  And none will heed your twerking.

                                                                                              3. re: Veggo
                                                                                                westsidegal Sep 25, 2013 01:49 PM

                                                                                                veggo, your assessment is spot on.
                                                                                                when i'm on a date with a guy that i know i never want to see again, i'll take it a step farther--I pick up the tab.
                                                                                                it's bad enough his feelings may be hurt, i feel it's only right that i make sure his wallet isn't hurt as well.

                                                                                                1. re: westsidegal
                                                                                                  c oliver Sep 25, 2013 02:04 PM

                                                                                                  You know we Left Coast women are a bit more comfortable with that than some, right? :)

                                                                                                  1. re: c oliver
                                                                                                    westsidegal Sep 25, 2013 05:38 PM

                                                                                                    it isn't a matter of being Left Coast.
                                                                                                    i spent years wining and dining businessmen as part of my job.
                                                                                                    gracefully picking up a tab without a second thought was simply a part of the normal routine.

                                                                                                    also, when i pick up the tab when i'm on a date with a man that i know i won't be seeing again, i don't do it for MY comfort.
                                                                                                    i do it so that, afterward, the MAN won't feel like he's been financially used.

                                                                                                    1. re: westsidegal
                                                                                                      c oliver Sep 25, 2013 06:21 PM

                                                                                                      And I have the same background that you do.

                                                                                                      1. re: westsidegal
                                                                                                        GraceW Sep 25, 2013 07:29 PM

                                                                                                        I do that too--but also with non-dates. With regular people. If it is the last time we'll meet (aka. I've been burned by you), then I pick up the meal, as a final offering of sorts.

                                                                                                        If it is the end, then I do not want to owe or to have taken anything from him.

                                                                                                        1. re: GraceW
                                                                                                          FriedClamFanatic Sep 25, 2013 07:32 PM

                                                                                                          If I ever get divorced, I think I could live rather well...or at least eat well....on a series of "one-night stands"! Too bad I'm on the wrong coast (among other incidental obstacles)

                                                                                                          1. re: FriedClamFanatic
                                                                                                            GraceW Sep 26, 2013 02:54 PM

                                                                                                            I am sorry, I am from the midwest (aka. raised conservative/rated-G).. I wasn't referring to 'one-night stands.' I just meant with friends/general-people that have burned me.. then I purposefully dine-and-pay so that I can end (forever) knowing that I owe them nothing.

                                                                                              4. re: Veggo
                                                                                                Motosport Sep 25, 2013 01:20 PM

                                                                                                My buddy from Brooklyn dated a few women he referred to as "Lobster sl#ts" He'd say: "I spring for a lobster dinner and I get lucky."
                                                                                                Brooklyn gals..................

                                                                                                1. re: Motosport
                                                                                                  Perilagu Khan Sep 25, 2013 01:49 PM

                                                                                                  Out here in west Texas we have chicken fried steak sluts. Easy on the eye and the wallet. ;)

                                                                                                  1. re: Perilagu Khan
                                                                                                    Motosport Sep 25, 2013 01:53 PM

                                                                                                    Yee hah!!!

                                                                                                  2. re: Motosport
                                                                                                    rasputina Sep 25, 2013 02:28 PM

                                                                                                    Oh he sounds like a keeper, NOT.

                                                                                                2. b
                                                                                                  beevod Sep 25, 2013 07:47 AM

                                                                                                  I tend to avoid those who are a)picky, b) don't drink and c) can't deal with spicy dishes.

                                                                                                  1. u
                                                                                                    ultimatepotato Sep 25, 2013 04:30 AM

                                                                                                    No, unless someone is overtly picky and restrictive for no good reason as said above by youareabunny.

                                                                                                    But maybe I should take more notice - my most recent ex didn't like cheese or pasta. Except for when I made lasagne. And...macaroni cheese.

                                                                                                    I should have known that it wouldn't work out.

                                                                                                    1. m
                                                                                                      mokmokdog Sep 25, 2013 02:58 AM

                                                                                                      oh for me i kind of like it when people are willing to eat with their hands. hmmm

                                                                                                      7 Replies
                                                                                                      1. re: mokmokdog
                                                                                                        Tripeler Sep 25, 2013 03:07 AM

                                                                                                        Sounds a little kinky to me...

                                                                                                        1. re: mokmokdog
                                                                                                          Bill Hunt Sep 25, 2013 09:18 PM

                                                                                                          Well, if they are from Ethiopia, or dining at an Ethiopian restaurant, that would be OK - at a Classic French restaurant, well maybe not so much.


                                                                                                          1. re: Bill Hunt
                                                                                                            debbiel Sep 26, 2013 03:02 PM

                                                                                                            Or eating a burger? Or pizza? Or fried chicken? Or asparagus?...

                                                                                                            Somewhere there is a thread or subthread about eating salad with one's fingers. I'm in the camp at home, fight the urge at restaurants, and occasionally lose to the urge and pick up the last straggling bites with my hands.

                                                                                                            I've only dined at fancy to uber fancy restaurants a few times. (not even going to try to define what I mean by that) I'm guessing each time there was something that I really, really wanted to pick up with my fingers, but I probably managed to not do so. sometimes, though, a perfect beautiful sauteed mushroom or slice of mushroom just begs to be picked up with fingers instead of fork. :)

                                                                                                            1. re: debbiel
                                                                                                              mwhitmore Sep 26, 2013 03:14 PM

                                                                                                              I ate at Lutece once and ordered squab. No way to eat that except fingers. Nobody turned a hair. Also fingers are the only correct way to eat asparagus. Ask Emily.

                                                                                                              1. re: mwhitmore
                                                                                                                Veggo Sep 26, 2013 03:26 PM

                                                                                                                My only squab was at the Chilton Club in Boston. For a while I lived around the corner from Lutece, was sorry to see it close. Finger food has devolved.....

                                                                                                              2. re: debbiel
                                                                                                                c oliver Sep 26, 2013 03:31 PM

                                                                                                                I can and do easily eat chicken with a knife and fork. Same for pizza.

                                                                                                                1. re: debbiel
                                                                                                                  Bill Hunt Sep 26, 2013 09:31 PM

                                                                                                                  Those work too, as would BBQ Ribs.

                                                                                                                  More to the "fingers thing," than many might imagine. Can you say "Sandwich?" Of course you can.


                                                                                                            2. westsidegal Sep 25, 2013 01:11 AM

                                                                                                              any date that can shovel in highly processed junky food will not be for me.

                                                                                                              if his palate hasn't developed beyond mac' n cheese from a box, we aren't a match.

                                                                                                              1 Reply
                                                                                                              1. re: westsidegal
                                                                                                                fldhkybnva Sep 25, 2013 12:33 PM

                                                                                                                yea same here for me or if he is unwilling to even try anything not in a bag or box.

                                                                                                              2. y
                                                                                                                youareabunny Sep 24, 2013 11:56 PM

                                                                                                                A bit. More so I'm very unattracted if a person is overly picky, in a closed minded type of way. Like not liking something without ever trying it.

                                                                                                                29 Replies
                                                                                                                1. re: youareabunny
                                                                                                                  biondanonima Sep 25, 2013 08:14 AM

                                                                                                                  I second this. When I was in the dating pool, I also avoided vegetarians and vegans like the plague. These lifestyles don't make people less attractive to me, but I love to cook and share food (and meat!) WAY too much to partner up with someone who doesn't eat meat.

                                                                                                                  1. re: biondanonima
                                                                                                                    Chemicalkinetics Sep 25, 2013 09:08 AM

                                                                                                                    Yeah, but that is not because they are not attractive. There is still this vegan woman who I find to be very attractive. I just don't think anything can possibly happen between us. But it does not make her any less attractive to me.

                                                                                                                    1. re: biondanonima
                                                                                                                      Motosport Sep 25, 2013 01:17 PM

                                                                                                                      Vegans, the Hezbollah of vegetarians!

                                                                                                                      1. re: Motosport
                                                                                                                        FriedClamFanatic Sep 25, 2013 07:14 PM

                                                                                                                        I have wondered ( but not a heck of a lot...and no, I won't Google it!)..........do Vegan mothers breast feed their children?

                                                                                                                        1. re: FriedClamFanatic
                                                                                                                          ratgirlagogo Sep 26, 2013 11:08 AM

                                                                                                                          All the vegan mothers that I know did breastfeed their children, and no they did not feel it compromised their beliefs. Sadly there have been some famous cases of vegan parents who tried to feed their infants exclusively on nut milks, etc., with predictably disastrous results.

                                                                                                                        2. re: Motosport
                                                                                                                          Bill Hunt Sep 25, 2013 09:16 PM

                                                                                                                          But wait until you encounter a Level 5 Vegan. That will be the experience of your life.


                                                                                                                          1. re: Bill Hunt
                                                                                                                            Motosport Sep 26, 2013 06:39 AM

                                                                                                                            They survive on air and yoga alone!!

                                                                                                                            1. re: Motosport
                                                                                                                              seamunky Sep 26, 2013 10:56 AM

                                                                                                                              "The claimed ability to survive without food (and sometimes without water as well) is called inedia, and those who attempt it are called “inediates” (among other things)."

                                                                                                                              Can you imagine the conversations with this person?
                                                                                                                              "Hey, wanna grab something to eat? I'm starving!"
                                                                                                                              "No thanks. I don't need to eat. I'm inediate."
                                                                                                                              "Yes. Yes you are."

                                                                                                                              1. re: seamunky
                                                                                                                                Bill Hunt Sep 26, 2013 09:27 PM

                                                                                                                                I really loved the "among other things," and all sorts of visions entered my pointed little head. Um-m-m-m...


                                                                                                                              2. re: Motosport
                                                                                                                                Bill Hunt Sep 26, 2013 09:25 PM

                                                                                                                                That is all that is left - Um-m-m-m.


                                                                                                                          2. re: biondanonima
                                                                                                                            youareabunny Sep 26, 2013 04:09 AM

                                                                                                                            I am a level -2 vegetarian since I eat eggs, dairy and seafood. Strangely enough I prefer my men to eat meat.

                                                                                                                            Random memory: my freshman year of college, my roommate told me that her bf did not like fish because when you press a fork against it, the fish comes through the tines.

                                                                                                                            ... the things people come up with.

                                                                                                                            1. re: youareabunny
                                                                                                                              seamunky Sep 26, 2013 10:59 AM

                                                                                                                              Sounds like he's using the fork incorrectly.

                                                                                                                              1. re: youareabunny
                                                                                                                                debbiel Sep 26, 2013 02:57 PM

                                                                                                                                Where does the level-2 come from? I don't think I have heard of the levels of vegetarianism, just the types. I was ovo-lacto. I have friends who are vegan, ovo, and lacto. Would be interested to see how those line up with these levels.

                                                                                                                                I have to say I would not consider someone who eats seafood to be a vegetarian. I know that's a touchy subject, but to me it is animal flesh. That's sort of my basic test for vegetarianism--do you eat animal flesh.

                                                                                                                                I'm going out to dinner with a bunch of friends tonight and now hope no one orders fish. I fear I'll be watching all meal to see if fish comes up through the tines. Odd!

                                                                                                                                1. re: debbiel
                                                                                                                                  youareabunny Sep 26, 2013 03:14 PM

                                                                                                                                  Just playing off of bill hunt's level 5 vegan comment. Much easier/less clarification for me to refer to myself as vegetarian than pescatarian.

                                                                                                                                  Now that I think about it, he applied the tine test to gauge what fish he would or would not eat. Sushi did not pass the tine test so he would not eat it.

                                                                                                                                  He was a particular guy. Rearranged roomies wardrobe by style and color once. Just cuz he was bored

                                                                                                                                  1. re: youareabunny
                                                                                                                                    debbiel Sep 26, 2013 04:25 PM

                                                                                                                                    Ah...got it.

                                                                                                                                    For me the fish/veg thing was just tough because of the frequency with which fish was prepared for or suggested to me to accommodate my vegetarian diet. I always blamed the Catholic church for this confusion, having recalled oh so many Friday nights of tuna macaroni salad and horrible fish sticks.

                                                                                                                                    1. re: debbiel
                                                                                                                                      youareabunny Sep 26, 2013 11:48 PM

                                                                                                                                      I remember Good Fridays! I haven't fact checked but I believe beaver was OK to eat because they swim so much lol

                                                                                                                                      1. re: youareabunny
                                                                                                                                        debbiel Sep 27, 2013 05:17 AM

                                                                                                                                        Ha!!! Okay for the Good Friday table: fish and fish wannabes.

                                                                                                                                2. re: youareabunny
                                                                                                                                  Bill Hunt Sep 26, 2013 09:28 PM

                                                                                                                                  If one presses a fork against lentils, they come up between the tines too. Lot of room for interpretation there.


                                                                                                                                  1. re: Bill Hunt
                                                                                                                                    youareabunny Sep 26, 2013 11:49 PM

                                                                                                                                    As much as I'd love to grill him on the subject, I lost touch with him back in 2002.

                                                                                                                                    1. re: youareabunny
                                                                                                                                      Bill Hunt Sep 27, 2013 06:04 PM

                                                                                                                                      Then, I think that the case can now be closed, and you still have a good story!


                                                                                                                              2. re: youareabunny
                                                                                                                                JonParker Sep 25, 2013 10:39 AM

                                                                                                                                I dated someone who was like that for ten years. It was the best relationship of my life. My next relationship was with a woman who loved to cook and eat, and the relationship was disastrous.

                                                                                                                                It was nice having someone who loved food the way I did, but ultimately I was happier with the one who would eat nothing but chicken nuggets for six months.

                                                                                                                                1. re: JonParker
                                                                                                                                  cayjohan Sep 25, 2013 01:24 PM

                                                                                                                                  >>My next relationship was with a woman who loved to cook and eat, and the relationship was disastrous.<<

                                                                                                                                  I had one of those between my marriages. The cooking and the eating and the dining out was extraordinary; in every other measure, the relationship came up less-than-short, and danced often into the disasterous territory. Still, it was loads of fun for what it was, and I think if I had to sit across a table from that gentleman again, I would likely have a fine time, and then go on my merry way. But in retrospect: it was really a relationship Only About The Food.

                                                                                                                                  My husband is now a fun person with whom to cook and eat, but that wasn't always the case - largely because he had not previously been exposedto/explored many foods prior to our meeting. It wasn't a problem for me, really, as far as how attracted I was to him initially; the previous experience with a food-centric/disasterous relationship probably would have resulted in my running away screaming if now-Hub had started any truly obnoxious high-falutin' foodie talk in early dating. Raw nerves, those, I suppose. But he didn't, and instead loved meatloaf and mashed potatoes.

                                                                                                                                  Now if Hub had been someone who *insisted* on crap only (my own personal definitions of both insisting and crap applied), we might have had some things to discuss, likely beyond food. But his food preferences and where he was on his own trajectory of developing foodways when we met weren't an issue for me.

                                                                                                                                  1. re: JonParker
                                                                                                                                    youareabunny Sep 26, 2013 04:11 AM

                                                                                                                                    You and cay... Were you maybe blinded by the good eats? Confused liking the person with liking the dates?

                                                                                                                                    1. re: youareabunny
                                                                                                                                      JonParker Sep 26, 2013 05:35 AM

                                                                                                                                      No, she seemed to share a lot of my weird interests -- silent film, mid century modern decor, etc. It was a very, very bad experience.

                                                                                                                                      1. re: JonParker
                                                                                                                                        youareabunny Sep 26, 2013 06:53 AM

                                                                                                                                        Got you. I hardly date anyone with same interests as me so, can't relate. Then again I pretty much like anything.

                                                                                                                                        I guess what I was getting at is... I've met people who go on and on about how wonderful their new guy/girl is then I find out that in 1 month they've gone to 20 restaurants, sea world, Disneyland etc. It's easy to enjoy with someone when you're doing fun things. I like to imagine myself locked with that person in a windowless room with nothing but a paper plate. See how much I like them...

                                                                                                                                        1. re: youareabunny
                                                                                                                                          Motosport Sep 26, 2013 07:00 AM

                                                                                                                                          I have often said that you can judge a relationship as healthy if you can sit home on a Sunday with nothing to do but read the NY Times, be with one another and feel fulfilled.
                                                                                                                                          There may also be a few decent meals too. Not that food is important to me!!

                                                                                                                                          1. re: youareabunny
                                                                                                                                            JonParker Sep 26, 2013 07:57 AM

                                                                                                                                            i hadn't really dated anyone with my interests until then. This board really isn't the place to go into it, but it was bad in a life-changing way.

                                                                                                                                            1. re: JonParker
                                                                                                                                              Chemicalkinetics Sep 26, 2013 07:59 AM

                                                                                                                                              You two are having some very deep and interesting conversations here.

                                                                                                                                        2. re: youareabunny
                                                                                                                                          cayjohan Sep 26, 2013 10:49 AM

                                                                                                                                          In my case I was definitely blinded. But it was such a nice departure from the grind of "reality." Messy divorce, raising two kids, hectic job. Two days a week, when my kids were with their dad, I lived in a very focused-on-food paradise. And, honestly, I learned a lot and gained a lot of kitchen skill during that relationship. It was just that, outside of the food realm, the gentleman and I were like oil and water, relationship-wise. And while food is a big personal interest of mine, it pales in comparison to my other interests. A relationship Only About The Food was just not enough.

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