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Silliest/most useless wedding gift you received?

Jumping off the most useful wedding gift thread, what were the silliest or most useless ones you got? (Preferably kitchen/food related.)

Personally I got two martini glasses with piano keys hand painted around the edges. They were not hand-painted by the gift giver, and neither my husband nor I play the piano. We also don't really drink liquor much in our house. Other than that it would be an unregsitered-for pair of crystal candlesticks shaped like palm trees. I don't intend to sound ungrateful - I loved all my guests and appreciated the gifts very much, but these are definitely still in boxes at my mother's house and not in our every day rotation.

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  1. Champagne flutes and a cake serving set, to be used at the reception. We did, but they've stayed in the boxes since then.

    9 Replies
    1. re: truman

      These two are often fairly useless after the event, especially when they have been engraved with the bridal couples names, dates etc.
      However, I know that a lot of these items are insanely expensive, just like the decorated guest books and pointless bonboniere that are wedding reception essentials.
      I work in the wedding reception hospitality field and always have a good laugh at how much people spend on the incredibly kitsch and ugly paraphernalia of weddings.
      Two hideously decorated Vera Wang champagne flutes @ $150.00? Saw you coming...

      1. re: cronker

        We were gifted a set of Precious Moments champagne flutes. I wanted to cry....

        I think we borrowed the cake cutting things.

          1. re: cleobeach

            Wait, are you talking about the Hallmark (or similar) semi-naked cherubs - Precious Moments? http://www.preciousmoments.com/figurines

            If so, then I understand completely.

            Hunt

            1. re: Bill Hunt

              Yes. I always thought they were creepy.

              1. re: cleobeach

                They strike the same fear in me that clowns do in some people.

              1. re: Michelly

                Yes, it was truly awful. I "forget" to take them to the reception. I gave them to a friend of a friend who was absolutely thrilled to have them for her wedding.

          2. Margarita glasses. These things were so big I could only fit 2 of them on the shelf in my cabinet (there were 6 and a pitcher). DH doesn't drink, I don't much care for sweet mixed drinks, and we usually just serve beer/wine for guests. I can't even tell you where the set is anymore.

            1. We got a sugar scuttle with scoop and a cheese board with dome. They were at my parent's house for years. They certainly were not on the gift register. I'm pretty sure they were regifted. We certainly were not going to re-gift them however.

              3 Replies
              1. re: John E.

                Re-gifting immediately came to mind reading the OP.

                1. re: JAB

                  I thought the same thing.

                  Some of our silly/useless gifts that I suspect were re-gifts -

                  1. the crystal chip/dip platter. It was one of those bowl-attached-to-base one piece things engraved with flowers.

                  2. a tiny decorative metal baking dish, sized for a single potato

                  1. re: JAB

                    In our case, the Thank You notes went out quickly, and then we studied where some of those gifts came from. We returned many, and used the credits for things that would be useful to us. Having a 2 gal. silver bowl, with scrolled silver cups, was just not something that would have been useful to us. Same for the three-dozen fondue pots.

                    Hunt

                2. Really, really fragile, super tall, hand-painted, featherweight champagne flutes. Perfect for knocking over and breaking. And we never drink champagne.

                  1. I'm very lucky, as for the most part we got either very practical -- wustoff knives, a Cuisinart -- or very beautiful -- Heath pottery, a hand painted ceramic tray -- things. Our flutes are heavy crystal that we bring out for special occasions and I use my cake knife and server all the time. I guess the thing I don't use the most is my kitchen aid. I hate the darn thing.