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Silliest/most useless wedding gift you received?

Jumping off the most useful wedding gift thread, what were the silliest or most useless ones you got? (Preferably kitchen/food related.)

Personally I got two martini glasses with piano keys hand painted around the edges. They were not hand-painted by the gift giver, and neither my husband nor I play the piano. We also don't really drink liquor much in our house. Other than that it would be an unregsitered-for pair of crystal candlesticks shaped like palm trees. I don't intend to sound ungrateful - I loved all my guests and appreciated the gifts very much, but these are definitely still in boxes at my mother's house and not in our every day rotation.

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  1. Champagne flutes and a cake serving set, to be used at the reception. We did, but they've stayed in the boxes since then.

    9 Replies
    1. re: truman

      These two are often fairly useless after the event, especially when they have been engraved with the bridal couples names, dates etc.
      However, I know that a lot of these items are insanely expensive, just like the decorated guest books and pointless bonboniere that are wedding reception essentials.
      I work in the wedding reception hospitality field and always have a good laugh at how much people spend on the incredibly kitsch and ugly paraphernalia of weddings.
      Two hideously decorated Vera Wang champagne flutes @ $150.00? Saw you coming...

      1. re: cronker

        We were gifted a set of Precious Moments champagne flutes. I wanted to cry....

        I think we borrowed the cake cutting things.

          1. re: cleobeach

            Wait, are you talking about the Hallmark (or similar) semi-naked cherubs - Precious Moments? http://www.preciousmoments.com/figurines

            If so, then I understand completely.


            1. re: Bill Hunt

              Yes. I always thought they were creepy.

              1. re: cleobeach

                They strike the same fear in me that clowns do in some people.

              1. re: Michelly

                Yes, it was truly awful. I "forget" to take them to the reception. I gave them to a friend of a friend who was absolutely thrilled to have them for her wedding.

          2. Margarita glasses. These things were so big I could only fit 2 of them on the shelf in my cabinet (there were 6 and a pitcher). DH doesn't drink, I don't much care for sweet mixed drinks, and we usually just serve beer/wine for guests. I can't even tell you where the set is anymore.

            1. We got a sugar scuttle with scoop and a cheese board with dome. They were at my parent's house for years. They certainly were not on the gift register. I'm pretty sure they were regifted. We certainly were not going to re-gift them however.

              3 Replies
              1. re: John E.

                Re-gifting immediately came to mind reading the OP.

                1. re: JAB

                  I thought the same thing.

                  Some of our silly/useless gifts that I suspect were re-gifts -

                  1. the crystal chip/dip platter. It was one of those bowl-attached-to-base one piece things engraved with flowers.

                  2. a tiny decorative metal baking dish, sized for a single potato

                  1. re: JAB

                    In our case, the Thank You notes went out quickly, and then we studied where some of those gifts came from. We returned many, and used the credits for things that would be useful to us. Having a 2 gal. silver bowl, with scrolled silver cups, was just not something that would have been useful to us. Same for the three-dozen fondue pots.


                2. Really, really fragile, super tall, hand-painted, featherweight champagne flutes. Perfect for knocking over and breaking. And we never drink champagne.

                  1. I'm very lucky, as for the most part we got either very practical -- wustoff knives, a Cuisinart -- or very beautiful -- Heath pottery, a hand painted ceramic tray -- things. Our flutes are heavy crystal that we bring out for special occasions and I use my cake knife and server all the time. I guess the thing I don't use the most is my kitchen aid. I hate the darn thing.

                    1. Aunt and uncle who own a very nice home in CT and another on the Maine coast with two boats and a yacht gave us a "Ride around the Maine cove in their sailboat."
                      Their two adult children stiffed us figuring mom and dad had it covered.
                      It's been 12 years and we have not been to Maine to collect.

                      13 Replies
                        1. re: southernitalian

                          I told this story to my daughter who just got married in June. She said: "They gave us a lobster dinner at their Maine home!!"
                          Not even a lobster cruise dinner on the yacht????????
                          We all had a good laugh.

                          1. re: Motosport

                            It was funny enough that this is the gift your aunt and uncle gave you, but it is absolutely uproarious that, one generation later, they are still at it.

                            I suppose the idea of giving "an experience" instead of giving a physical gift, could theoretically come from good intentions (it's earth friendly, personal, etc.) , except that surely, after a couple of decades of giving "experiences" your aunt and uncle must realize by now that many, many people will not take them up on their offer.


                            1. re: The Dairy Queen

                              We only have to drive 8 hours to redeem the gift!!
                              I suggested my daughter bring her own butter.

                              1. re: Motosport

                                Seriously, won't you pretty please call them up and announce that you're ready to collect on your wedding gift? (If you want to be extra daring, you can also add that, furthermore, for your birthday, your daughter re-gifted to you their gift of a lobster dinner) and ask which weekend they'd like to take you on a boat ride and feed you a lobster dinner?

                                And then come back and let us know what happens? Aren't you just dying to know?


                                  1. re: The Dairy Queen

                                    I am! I like the idea, I like it a lot.

                                    1. re: alliegator

                                      I like it and will raise it to requesting to bring 20 of your closest friends.

                                    2. re: The Dairy Queen

                                      I am sure they would be thrilled. They are totally unaware.

                                      1. re: Motosport

                                        OMG. So funny. I don't know why, but this whole thing really has me laughing. I hope you see the humor in it, too, though I am sure these are very frustrating relatives to have.


                                        1. re: The Dairy Queen

                                          We do get a good laugh about it. A gift is a gift and I am sure the gifts were given with sincerity.
                                          They did make the 8 hour trek to attend both weddings. A gift in itself.

                                  2. re: The Dairy Queen

                                    I think their 'experiences' gifts would be fun and thoughtful if the givers actually followed through with their gift. To expect the recipient to call up and ask when they can redeem their 'gift' is appalling.

                            2. A concrete bird bath. Which fell over and broke when Mr Autumn bumped it with the lawnmower.

                              Kitchen wise, either the engraved cake server or the ice cream maker and set of ice cream bowls.

                              1. A set of 6 cordial glasses and a decanter, painted in a black-gray color. The decanter was missing the stopper and it was given in a box from a department store from a city in which the giver had lived about 5 years earlier. Clearly a re-gift. We threw them out when we moved.

                                (We received other gifts that we did not like or had no use for, which we generally returned or exchanged, but we never doubted the generous spirit in which they were given.)

                                Most useless nice gift was a pedestal cake stand with a silver-edged rim. The pedestal made it difficult to store away and on the few instances when I'd want to use it, would pull it out and find the silver edging tarnished. We ultimately donated that to a rummage sale fundraiser for my son's school. Years later, when I needed a cake plate, my mother gave me a beautiful cut glass one with no pedestal.

                                1. Magazine subscriptions.

                                  Family flew in to Patrick Air Force Base from Bermuda, California, Alabama, Germany, Milwaukee, and Pittsburgh. We felt their presence was enough. Besides, a 36 and a 31 year old (me) have already got too much stuff anyway.

                                  2 Replies
                                  1. re: INDIANRIVERFL

                                    Forgive me, but I think you also posted magazine subscriptions in the "most useful" thread. Have you had a change of heart or are you just saying that a gift of a magazine subscription can be useful or useless, depending upon (I suppose) the magazine? Or did you misread the title of one of the threads?


                                    1. re: The Dairy Queen


                                      Food & Wine with all the European restaurant revues from the mid-eighties was great.

                                      Florida Trends business magazine??? Hadn't even planned on living in Florida at the time.

                                  2. Here's a tale for all you gift registry dissenters.

                                    This is actually about a shower present, but I think that's closely related enough to wedding gifts. My husband had become friendly with a co-worker's husband, so I invited the co-worker to the shower and wedding. I did not really want to, but under the circumstances I felt obligated.

                                    So, she bursts into the party room with great fanfare, dramatically runs across the room to me, and sweeps me into a fervid embrace. I don't really care to hug anyone other than my nearest and dearest, but you know how huggy-bears are. Then she announces so that all present can hear: I didn't buy a present from the registry! I never buy presents from registries! I only buy gifts that are PERSONAL and CREATIVE!! She proceeded to congratulate herself on her PERSONAL and CREATIVE gift choices until I was able to circulate away.

                                    And what was that PERSONAL and CREATIVE gift she was so proud of? A book called, "My Very Own Cookbook" which was just a spiral-bound book with blank pages for writing recipes. Ordinarily, I would just privately judge the gift to be mediocre, but after that self-aggrandizing speech I feel entitled to gripe a bit here.

                                    1 Reply
                                    1. First marriage, many years ago......
                                      a great aunt of ex-wife gave us personalized crystal bookends. with my name spelled incorrectly on one and ex-wife's name spelled incorrectly on the other..........................

                                      another of her relatives sent ONE candlestick. Three years later, when ex-wife's sister got married, that same relative sent ex-SIL the other candlestick from the pair.

                                      I don't miss any of the ex-wife's relatives!

                                      1. Well, here's couple that I thought were doozies.

                                        When my first husband and I first got engaged, we were planning a traditional wedding. Some life and work circumstances interceded very early on in the process, and we decided to opt for a very small friends and family wedding so we could pursue those options. My mother's family subsequently decided to host a reception for us in my hometown. Five of my extended family members gifted us with...baby clothes and supplies. Y'know, because *what other reason could there possibly be* for a small scale, not-drawn-out-timewise wedding? Technically, I suppose those eventually were useful gifts, but the relatives all had to endure a long time waiting for that assumed bundle of joy, and it was...awkward, for us.

                                        Marriage number two? My husband's siblings' families and parents gave us nothing. To be fair, his parents did offer to pay for our wedding night stay. In their hotel. In their suite. With them. Um...no. We politely demurred, as we had reservations at a nice resort for our honeymoon. They had a fruit basket delivered to our doorstep while we were away on that honeymoon, at the height of hot summer. What we came home to was not pleasant. So, I guess that's not "nothing," but as a wedding gift, week-old rotted fruit on the porch left something to be desired.

                                        ETA: I guess just the second one was food-related, but the first was just too funny to leave out.

                                        9 Replies
                                        1. re: cayjohan

                                          I just had to laugh at your first wedding and can relate to a point. My (now ex) and I were having a nice church wedding. Some friends in my home town threw me a shower. One woman gave me a set of mixing bowls (nice - and I still have them today). BUT what was inside the set was a tiny plastic "doll house" baby that she had crocheted into the center of a mini doily and put a small pin in the back like I was supposed to wear it as a broach! (This was back in the early 70's) She just assumed I was pregnant. Well, just to say - my first child did not come for over 2 years later.

                                          1. re: boyzoma

                                            Those assumptions were pretty funny after awhile, indeed. At a family dinner of large proportions a few months after that wedding, one of those family members reached over and PATTED MY FOOD-BABY BELLY, and asked about the timing of The Announcement. Like George Costanza in "Seinfeld," I angsted for a while about not having come up with a killer retort.

                                            No matter how many times folks were told that no, I was not indeed pregnant, the gossip persisted. Sometime after that, then-husband and I spent 6 months in Europe. When we returned...yep, I was pregnant. There were those that Just Knew It, and hectored my mom for information. (Because 18 month pregnancies are sooo common?) I just told her to tell them that the food was freaking awesome on our travels, so I'd put on some weight.

                                            1. re: cayjohan

                                              We only knew each other for 2 months when we married, and there were only 8 guests at the wedding. Natch, lots of folks thought we "had" to get married (mid-1970s). One relative was overheard to say "I give this 6 months, tops." We've been married (happily childless) for 38 years.

                                              So, 8 guests, 4 of whom were poor students, like us, meager presents. I hardly remember what any gifts were, really. But I remember all 8 people, so that was the real gift.

                                              1. re: pine time

                                                Happy wishes on your 38 years. That's one long pregnancy watch <smiley wink>!

                                                I agree, that aside from this thread's memory-inducing quality (and the fact that I really, really miss the vacuum cleaner my parents gave me for my first marriage), I really haven't thought too much about wedding gifts over the years. It was, indeed, the good friends around that were memorable.

                                            1. re: JAB

                                              Right? But only on the surface; my in-laws are incredibly prudish - more likely that offer was intended as a virtual chastity belt! (Those crazy mid-thirties kids getting in on on their wedding night just couldn't be countenanced!) But really, all kidding aside, it was a function of remarkable cheapness. They were paying for the suite already after flying cross-country to attend the wedding; why not let it double as a "wedding gift?"

                                              The part that galled me (and continues to, I am realizing, for its eye-rolling passive-aggressiveness), was the fruit basket. They knew in no uncertain terms that we were gone on our honeymoon from date X to date X and sent that basket anyway. What we returned to was critter-eaten, rotting, and covered with insects. I called the company to see why it was left with no one to sign for it, and the response was that those were the delivery instructions: leave on porch. On a specified date. And this began my long and interesting association with the passive-aggressiveness of my ILs. I can laugh about it now, despite the lingering galledness, but: really?

                                              1. re: cayjohan

                                                The fruit basket-ing is something my ILs would have done. And then they would have been pissed that I didn't fall all over myself with gratitude. They were (we don't see them anymore) masters of the f--- you gift that kept on giving.

                                            2. re: cayjohan

                                              Okay, the food basket was ill-thought out (don't most people go on a honeymoon of some sort, at least for a few days?) But the offer to share their suite? That was seriously creepy.

                                              1. re: Isolda

                                                I thought it creepy at the time too, but over the years I've come to realize that they exist at the nexus of severe social awkwardness/unawareness and cheapness, hence the offer. We actually maintain a fairly good relationship with them insofar as their hurdles allow.

                                                As far as the fruit basket? That was a direct P-A shot across the bow, not just inattentiveness. Possibly one of the most assertive acts I have ever seen from them, really, but for an irrational reason (declining suite offer).

                                            3. Forty three years ago, we received a Hamilton Beach toaster. That sucker lasted for about 35 years, and only had to be repaired once (by me). It finally gave up the ghost, and we have been through three "high-end" gourmet units, since.


                                              3 Replies
                                              1. re: Bill Hunt

                                                Did you mean to be on the other thread, Bill? :-)

                                                That was a pretty darn useful toaster!

                                                1. re: Violatp

                                                  Lucky toaster. We received an unregistered-for $12 Sunbeam toaster from Walmart from my wealthy but socially-disastrous aunt and uncle. It burned everything and made a horrible smell. I could only thank the heavens that they're both teetotalers and didn't run up the bar bill at the wedding. (This sounds terribly ungracious, but oh my! If you only knew them!)

                                                  1. re: NonnieMuss

                                                    Sorry for that.

                                                    We were married before one really had wedding registries. They did exist, but only for one-off creations from silver and goldsmiths, not for everyday folk.

                                                    You got the "evil twin" of ours.

                                                    We also got a bacon cooker (sort of like a toaster, but with some differences). We laughed and laughed. It sat for some years, until we used it, on a lark one day. Wow, did we have to eat our words? At least we had great, crisp bacon to go with them! What a neat appliance. It lasted for many years, until if finally said good-bye, and we have missed it. Never saw another. To think that we laughed! Our bad.


                                              2. As for most useless, that would have to be the fish steamer - for steaming a whole large fish. I don't think I've ever taken it out of the box in 19 years, but can't donate it to an auction-type sale because it was a wedding gift.

                                                1. We didn't have a wedding, but just an appointment to make it legal and specifically requested no gifts. We just didn't feel it was necessary. But an unnamed family member sent an old, well used blender with and avocado green base. Why the fudge?!
                                                  I promptly sent a thank you card and put it the salvation army box.

                                                  1. After reading this thread I have another wedding gift story. I would not say the gift was useless, just a bit of family lore.

                                                    Many years ago my widowed grandmother was invited to a wedding (I have no idea who the couple were, probably a neighbor's kid). My grandmother had to come up with a gift, so she wrapped up a gift given to her by my aunt and uncle. It was a purse. I wish I could have seen the look on the bridal couple's faces when they opened up that gift. The irony is that it really was a good gift to receive. My aunt and uncle included a $50 bill tucked into one of the pockets for my grandmother to find. She never looked. She found out about the fifty bucks when she read the thank you note.

                                                    9 Replies
                                                    1. re: John E.

                                                      Oh gosh, that makes me a tiny bit sad, actually. Your grandmother probably could have used the $50 if she had reached the point where the only thing she could think to give as a wedding gift was a a purse she'd recently been given. She probably thought, well, at least it's new and "in style" and that the bride could get some use out of it.

                                                      P.S. this is TOTALLY the sort of thing that could happen in my family.


                                                      1. re: The Dairy Queen

                                                        Nah, don't be sad, my grandmother had more than enough money for her to live on. She was a great lady, but she was sometimes impulsive. She always bought the best stuff. (She had a Kirby vacuum cleaner with all the attachments, including a knife sharpener.) She probably forgot to buy a gift and at the last second decided to re-gift the purse. My aunt and uncle were a bit peeved at first and then we all just laughed about it.

                                                        My grandmother gave sets of Descoware to her three daughters-in-law for wedding presents.

                                                        To make an attempt to make this food related....my grandparents never owned a car. They were immigrants and lived in Minneapolis (and Columbia Heights) and took the streetcar wherever they needed to go. People used to ask my grandfather why he didn't have a car. He would reply "I have a cow, how much milk do you get from your car?" (Yep, they had cows, pigs, chickens, ducks, and geese in Columbia Heights right on Central Avenue.) The grocery store was about three blocks away and my grandmother would push a wheelbarrow to the store and back with her groceries.

                                                        1. re: John E.

                                                          Neat story. It kind of boggles my mind that it was just two generations ago that people raised livestock in places that, today, are fully urban (or suburban)-ized.

                                                          You're joking about the knife-sharpener, right?


                                                          1. re: The Dairy Queen

                                                            There is a Rainbow Foods store right where my dad was born at 43rd and Central. The house my grandfather built the year before my dad was born was moved about 1/2 mile off Central Avenue. If my dad really hunted pheasants and squirrels in all the subdivisions he claimed to have hunted pheasants and squirrels, well, that's a lot of pheasants and squirrels.

                                                            Nope, that Kirby really does have a knife sharpener that attaches to the front. There's also a floor polisher, carpet shampoo attachment, and of course the hose for cleaning furniture. That vacuum cleaner is still in my father's basement. You can have it if you want it, although I don't think it works too well. The motor needs rewinding and of course that costs more than the thing is worth.

                                                            1. re: John E.

                                                              Whoa, I missed that Kirby bit! My Grandma had a similar set-up with the knife-sharpener on her Kirby. I was just a child, but I do remember mom and the aunts being terrified of the thing (knife sharpener) for whatever reason, and Grandpa continued sharpening knives in the garage on his stones.

                                                              Did the knife-sharpener actually work?

                                                              1. re: cayjohan

                                                                I only fired it up once. It seemed to work pretty much like the electric knife sharpeners that are around today with the spinning abrasive stone. I think the brushes on the motor are bad. The thing made a terrible noise and didn't seem to pick up anything.

                                                              2. re: John E.

                                                                I almost want to come get the vacuum cleaner from you just to see it.


                                                                1. re: The Dairy Queen

                                                                  Now you have me wondering about it too. I'm going to have to stop by my father's house and see if he still has it. I have a SIL that likes to clean (throw stuff out) so it might be gone but if it's still around, I'll post a photo.

                                                        2. re: John E.

                                                          How wonderful!?!

                                                          When I was a kid, I found a set of aluminum tumblers in a closet. I had never seen those before, so I took them out, wrapped them for Mother's Day, and presented the present.

                                                          It was some years later, that I found out my aunt had sent them to my parents for some event, but they had never been unwrapped or used. Hey, it was the "thought," that counted, right? I still have a bit of egg on my face, and that was almost 60 years ago - stuff is hard to clean off!


                                                        3. We got a glass cookie plate from friends of my husband. I took it out of the box to look at it, and there was a check for $100 taped to it...Made out to them,on the date of their wedding eighteen months earlier.

                                                          9 Replies
                                                          1. re: NJFsa


                                                            So funny. What did you do with the check?


                                                            1. re: The Dairy Queen

                                                              Hilarious! I have a few very-much-not-to-my-taste glass cookie-type plates from my first marriage gift-go-round buried in the basement somewhere...maybe I should see if there are any old checks taped to them!

                                                              1. re: The Dairy Queen

                                                                We threw it away. It was too old to be of any use to them. They weren't close friends, so telling them about it would have just embarrassed them. I do wonder, though, what the original gift-giver thought when they (presumably) got a thank you note for a plate but not a check!

                                                                1. re: NJFsa

                                                                  And, then, when the check never cleared...


                                                              2. re: NJFsa

                                                                That is so funny!!!!
                                                                Not really on topic but: My elderly parents were getting to a point where they were anguishing about identity theft so for Christmas I bought them a nice paper shredder and shipped it to them in Florida. Since they LOVE all types of food I opened the shredder box and filled the bin with all kinds of great treats from the local NYC pork store. Pepperoni, parmesan, sopresata, cappicola, salami etc..
                                                                When we talked at Christmas they said they had been thinking about getting a shredder and thanked me for the gift.
                                                                A couple of months went by and when I called I asked how the shredder was working? My mom says: We haven't even opened the box!"

                                                                1. re: Motosport

                                                                  Oh gosh, I'm so very worried about the gifts I complained about in the other thread that I said I immediately gave to Goodwill. I wonder if one of those 3 "custom" picnic baskets had a Willie Wonka Golden Ticket taped to the bottom of one of the plates? Or one of the wildly age-inappropriate, out of season adorable outfits I received as a baby gift had a savings bond tucked in it? (Heck, even if I didn't get rid of those, I would have tossed them in the washing machine right away. Dishwasher for the picnic basket items...)


                                                                  1. re: John E.

                                                                    That's what is so great about this thread, no? We all live in sit-coms. :-)

                                                                    1. re: cayjohan

                                                                      Yes we do, but some, more than others.


                                                                2. I have to say, though I have complained about the fam plenty and will again, lord knows, we really didn't get any bad wedding gifts.

                                                                  I think it's (maybe?)because we were late into a first-marriage by today's standards (me, mid thirties and H, late thirties), and we seemed veddy veddy grownup.

                                                                  The only thing we don't really use is a silver cake server; it was given to us by dear elderly neighbors and we won't ever toss it.

                                                                  1. A glass vase (maybe that's what it is? we aren't really sure because it's such an odd shape) that my husband has dubbed "The Butt" because of its shape. After that, a GINORMOUS wall clock. I'm sure it cost the giver a lot, but it's a very distinct (and large!) style and still sits in the box.

                                                                    1. Silver-plated sandwich tongs.

                                                                      I think they would have been silly for most people, but the relative who gave them to me knows I am SO not the type for silver-plated anything, or for serving pretty little tea sandwiches on a buffet. I'm much more the cast-iron-pot-of-chili-on-the-stove-kind of hostess, you know? "Silver-plated sandwich tongs" became a catch-phrase around our house for anything fussy, overly-ornate, and utterly useless.

                                                                      In honor of our 19th wedding anniversary, we just hauled a trunk-full of unused wedding gifts to Goodwill. We returned a few things right after the wedding, but I put a bunch of others (a silver coffee set, crystal bowls, Baroque silver candlesticks, etc.), still in the boxes, in the garage, on the optimistic theory that maybe I would find some use for them someday. But after 19 years, we figured that anything that had never been out of those boxes was ready to donate.

                                                                      1. A cutting board in shape of a cat. Just because I had a real cat at the time didn't mean I collected cat stuff. I found the idea of serving on the cutting board or cutting on the cutting board very disconcerting. It was very flimsy. Needless to say when it broke I was quite relieved.

                                                                        2 Replies
                                                                        1. re: free sample addict aka Tracy L

                                                                          Ohhh, never tell relatives that you "collect" anything, unless you really want to be inundated! I used to appreciate hand-carved duck decoys, and Mom deluged me with duck stuff for 4 decades! We used to call it "getting ducked."

                                                                          1. We got one gift, a mug with a marker to write our day on it. I didn't expect anything because we eloped. It's been five years and they (my side) believe we are married. Of course it doesn't help the ceremony was in a graveyard. (The oldest Uniterian church in the southeast.)

                                                                            1. An electric carving knife from my husband's great aunt and uncle.

                                                                              4 Replies
                                                                              1. re: Isolda

                                                                                An electric knife works good on fresh baked bread. I never use it when carving roasted meats however.

                                                                                1. re: Isolda

                                                                                  Ooh, a fond memory jiggled loose! When I first married, I was actually a little surprised that we didn't get an electric knife for a gift. My people were all about electric knives; it was a must-get for any couple. My aunt was charmingly mortified by this family oversight, and promptly rectified the situation by passing on her old electric knife to me as a little extra gift. It was an avocado green Sunbeam, and an angled *woodgrain* plastic case, awesome in its seventies-ness. Wish I still had it - such a great kitsch-factor now. It eventually died and I promptly replaced it, as it was just so useful as a tool.

                                                                                  1. re: Isolda

                                                                                    It's great for slicing turkey breasts. I smoked four of them for a party once. The good part was that the electric carving knife got them sliced up nice and fast. The bad part was that it still wasn't fast enough for my guests--the turkey was so good, they were snatching it off the cutting board as fast as I could slice it, and I was afraid I was going to carve off a finger or two.

                                                                                    (I wasn't starving them, I swear--there was a ton of other food. They just really liked that smoked turkey!)

                                                                                  2. My alcoholic uncle decided to quit drinking (good for him) and this coincided with my wedding. He handed me a dusty bottle of hard liquor like it was the best thing ever. I rarely ever drink and married a Pentecostal. He was not amused. My uncle then asked, at the reception, why we weren't drinking it. Well, because a) I gave it to my brother who was half lit at that point and b) because my brother in law, who was sitting at our table, was out on bond for a DUI. Awkwardness all around. And he also brought 2 random people no one knew to our wedding but that's a separate issue...

                                                                                    1. My Daughter received,from a few relatives that decided to "go together" to give her and her new husband - 2 decorative Floor vases. You know the kind - to put dried floral arrangements in...

                                                                                      So Tall they came over our knees.
                                                                                      Awful Green Crackle paint - with glass finish.
                                                                                      One was shaped like a hot water bottle - HUGE-

                                                                                      I could not believe it - Like something you would find at a flea Market. - OH - and that is where they ended up going.

                                                                                      3 Replies
                                                                                      1. re: perkinswi

                                                                                        I loved all my guests and all my gifts were thoughtful and well-meant. That said, I've never quite understood the silver grape cutter.

                                                                                        1. re: teezeetoo

                                                                                          We received an empty Easter basket. We were married in a Jewish ceremony, well after the holiday.

                                                                                          Most of our guests traveled from out of town, so at considerable expense. This was clearly an issue for this family. We are glad they came. I wish they had been comfortable just giving a note or card, or nothing at all, and could have trusted we were pleased to have them present and nothing more was needed.

                                                                                        2. re: perkinswi

                                                                                          You can't even "Re-gift" them. Ugh!! Looks like items for the next charity rummage sale.

                                                                                        3. Hearts-shaped waffles maker.