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Surviving Whole Foods

This made me laugh quite a bit. I looked here and in chains and I don't think it's been posted yet. Hope you enjoy.

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  1. There's a new one on my vicinity that is a ___ing temple to foodiedom. It has god-only-knows how many distinct kiosks preparing food for your immediate consumption to go with no fewer than 4 places to sit down and and sip your latte while you recover from the stress of having to choose between 38 varieties of olives.

    Sometimes there are just things I don't know where to get elsewhere but I swear this particular WF (...and how obnoxious Jon Wacky eventually got) got me over the whole WF thing once and for all.

    1 Reply
    1. re: rainey

      We actually call the WF in Sammamish, WA near my parents' old house the Food Temple. It really looks like some type of temple on the outside and is the largest, most amazing WF I know. It's also amazingly expensive and getting in and out of the parking lot is its own special hell.

    2. I cannot access this story to save my life...HuffPost blows up my p.c.! and freezes it up! WF is a love/hate situation for me personally...they opened up a BAR in ours...yes, a bar for wine and beer, flipping LUDICROUS especially since it's in a mall where there are no less than 30 bars within walking distance. (and WHO needs to drink whilst grocery shopping? It's all about the almighty DOLLAR right there for WF) BUT, I did stop there on my way home and was thankful that the organic romaine was only $2.49/generous bunch whereas our Publix wants $3.99 for org. romaine hearts.

      2 Replies
      1. re: Val

        I'm sure the bar is a marketing ploy, to get you to let down your defenses. Smart!

        1. re: Val

          Actually, if you shop at WF, you really do need a drink while shopping.

        2. I was there yesterday picking up snacks for the woman who was cleaning my apartment. She only ate raw foods so 7 11 was out of the question, (she did a great job.) It's easy to get through than Trader Joes and has more selection.

          1 Reply
          1. re: syrup09

            Picking up snacks at WF for the cleaning girl? I wanna work for you. :-) I do a great job, too.

          2. She pretty much nailed it. We have three in our immediate vicinity and I hate myself for shopping there but the produce and fish are way better and they have a great selection of pre-made stuff if you are trying to do mostly veg. Also the greatest ginger snaps and oatmeal raisin cookies. What she missed was the need for "defensive shopping." I've never seen a chain have so much trouble keeping stuff stocked. Every single time I go in, they are out of at least three things I regularly buy. So I employ a Costco strategy in Whole Foods - when they have that item, I buy six, or 12, or sometimes even all of them (sorry, Charlie - shopping is a blood sport at Whole Foods). Love the look on the face of the checkout clerk when I buy an entire box of chocolate bars (we prefer a brand that is, to be fair, made in Ecuador and that has a hard time with regular supply). And when they ask, "did you find everything you need?" I just chuckle. That is exactly the wrong question to force them to ask. I do love the moving trolley ramp, though! It is great fun to watch people who have never seen it before hang onto their carts to keep them from rolling.

            1. No secret-- I live in the land of "The Mother Ship" of Whole Foods every foodie visitor to our home wants to go as if it is a on the Canterbury Tales tour of England .

              I will admit I have an insiders guide of go get grab and gone when you absolutely have to.

              1. We were frequenting the newest WF near us, their meat prices are obscene. They had tilapia for 14.95/ lb! Tilapia! I guess they may have ben wild-caught and therefore better, but I did NOT see a sign saying so.
                I still love the store, but i go there on a full stomach.

                1 Reply
                1. re: EWSflash

                  I was going to respond to this that I had heard that Tilapia can never be wild caught, it is always farmed. But I decided it should be an informed response so I checked first and actually ended up on the Whole Foods site which tells you, yes, it is farmed, but why theirs is better. Take it for what you will: http://www.wholefoodsmarket.com/blog/...

                2. This was spot on. I saw this earlier during the week..and today I was reminded of the "namaste" bumper sticker when, on my way to work, I was cut off rather agressively by a moron in a honda civic. His back bumper was covered with stickers saying "Jesus Saves" and "I live by the Bible". I wanted to roll down my window and shout 'Namaste".

                    1. That's hilarious. Thanks for sharing.

                      1. I liked the WF in St Louis mostly but customer service was a crapshoot. There was one time when some apples or something had fallen on the floor and for whatever reason, rather than put them back myself, I called them to the attention of a young stocker. He actually sneered (!) and eventually said they would have to be thrown away because they were "no longer organic".

                        1 Reply
                        1. re: ennuisans

                          I was under the impression that Whole Foods, at least here in California, donated any 'borderline' food, did not 'throw it away'.

                        2. That was a good chuckle.

                          1. I was distracted by the poor language. Journalism it ain't. If they have to make their point with an ample supply of "F" words, I will pass.

                            3 Replies
                            1. re: Florida Hound

                              The writer is a comedienne, not a journalist. I, personally, am an "F word" fan.

                              To each their own.

                              1. re: Florida Hound

                                I don't think that the author was aiming for a Pulizer.

                                1. re: Florida Hound

                                  Where I come from, if you take away my EFF words, I can't talk. Tawk. To people in the greater NY/NJ area, the EFF word is not a bad word. It has no negative or sexual connotations unless used that way on purpose. Otherwise, it is just the salt-and-pepper of speech. It adds flavor. Emphasis. I didn't find it distracting at all.