Food jokes - list
New wife: The best things I cook are meat loaf and peach cobbler.
Her husband : Which is this?
Little while later a mushroom walks in and orders a beer.
Bartender looks him over and says "Hey get the heck outta here!!"
Stunned by this greeting, mushroom says "Why what's the matter?"
Bartender looks back and responds "We don't serve food in here!!"
So the mushroom says, "But I'm a fungi!"
Guy pulls up to a farm and is greeted by a 3 legged pig. He asks the farmer what happened to the pig. Farmer says there was a fire in the house awhile back, pig came in, woke everyone up and saved the family.
"Thats how he lost a leg?"
"No. But I'll tell you, another time I was huntin and the pig followed along. Bear came out and attacked me. That there pig run the bear off. If it weren't for him, surely I'd be a goner"
"So thats how he lost a leg, the bear?"
"Well howd he lose it?"
"I tell ya, a pig that good, you don't eat all at once!"
This is one of my favorite jokes. An actor of my acquaintance tells it, and it's a good bit longer, but done in such high style and with such fine accents that it's a scream. He states the last line very matter of factly: "Well, hell, a pig that great you wouldn't wanna eat all at once't."
Arranged marriages, the first date.
The boy: Do you think that you will learn to love me ?
The girl: I don't see why not. I learned to like spinach.