HOME > Chowhound > Not About Food >

Discussion

Rude guests

I get very frustrated at family members who offer to make a dish but insist on using my kitchen to make it. I have enough going on with having family over for dinner and why can't they dirty their own kitchen? I feel that it is rude.

  1. Click to Upload a photo (10 MB limit)
Delete
  1. Sometimes, in life, the problems we encounter are complex and difficult to solve. Other times, the problems are simple and easy to address. Luckily for you, the problem you relate falls into the latter category. So, just tell your family how you feel and avoid years of building animosity and passive aggressive confrontations. Life's too short to not do something so elementary.

    1. So...tell them? They may "insist" but this is something that is ultimately up to you. "Thanks, but just an FYI, I need you to make it at home because I have a lot going on in the kitchen." Done.

      1 Reply
      1. re: LeoLioness

        And if they're in the habit of dropping it on you at the last minute?
        There are electrical plugs all over the house. Also tables (if necessary, let 'em do it outside. Even in the middle of winter, can't take terribly long to cut some veggies).

      2. 50% (if not more) of family members outside of one's home are rude and a pain in the ass!

        1 Reply
        1. re: mrbigshotno.1

          Personally I'd have pegged the number much higher.

        2. For more "formal" diner parties, you simply accept proffered food/ dishes with a warm smile and thank-you. There is no social protocol that mandates that such gifts be served at that particular gathering. You can pop the yummies in the fridge for later consumption.

          In a less formal "pot luck" settings, state your lack of counter/cooking space in your invite, Whether that be in print, email, or text: "Sorry, but due to limited stove/oven/kitchen space, please bring COOKED , covered dishes"....blah blah blah.

          Useful psycho-babble from years of therapy: we teach other people how to treat us.

          1. I'd call that merely thoughtless, not outright rude. Rude is more along the lines of not caring if they cause you inconvenience, IMO. I agree with other posters who advise making it clear that your kitchen equipment will be otherwise utilized, so that they need to prepare their contribution before coming to your home.

            2 Replies
            1. re: greygarious

              +1. Be clear and straight forward works best for us