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Jul 29, 2013 05:30 PM

For those of you with dogs

I have a good friend from work who has had us over on several occasions. We both have dogs albeit mine are huge and she has chihuahuas. We have asked her to dinner at our house but only if my dogs were outside. My dogs arr well behaved, are not allowed to hang out in the kitchen or dining room, and basically just go lay down during company. Would you scrap the invite or invite them to a restaurant?

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  1. I should say, she said only if my dogs were outside. And i live in the california desert. Cant do it. Now i either have to refuse or come up with plan b

    11 Replies
    1. re: Goatjunky

      I would no longer socialize with any dog owner who asked me to put my gentle dogs outside during her visit. But first, if I were you, I'd invite her over for an outdoor cookout at the patio table in full sun, while my dogs relaxed in the cool indoors.

      1. re: greygarious

        Agreed. If you had cited dog phobia or dog allergies, that's one thing, and I'd have said "choose a restaurant". But to force well behaved big breeds into the desert sun in July? Hell no. That's cruel. Perhaps this coworker should remain only that..a coworker.

        1. re: pinehurst

          Anyone who puts conditions on accepting a dinner invite to someone's home, whether its about dogs, music, or the cuisine should be politely told to pound sand, strong memo to follow.

          1. re: pinehurst

            Agreed. Summer in the desert? Oh hell no. Especially since your dogs are well-behaved. My Lab gets house dibs over a co-worker any day.

            1. re: KrumTx

              And just adding desert heat +summer+boxers...aren't short-nosed breeds more prone to heat exhaustion? I don't think I'm hallucinating that. But again, all's well that ends well....even after a few weird twists.

              1. re: pinehurst

                Yes, short nosed/snout dogs have a harder time breathing in extreme heat you are correct.

                Typed as the proud owner of a Shi Tzu. :-)

            1. re: Phoebe

              yes I like grey's response too. personally I've found the larger breeds to be more docile and less annoying than their smaller counterparts.

              and coming from a dog owner it's even weirder. does she put hers outside when guests are over?

              1. re: hill food

                I have two big "kids". Both are big babies! One's a setter, the other a weimaraner. And yes, both of them are a lot less annoying than the little yippy ones we've come across. ;)

            2. re: greygarious

              Well said. As only a greyhound parent could! I have 2 greys that are guests' favorites. They meet, greet and go lay down somewhere.
              But then again, my guests are usually invited to bring their own canines for dinner, too. Exceptions; very formal or muddy backyard.

              1. re: zillabreeze

                "As only a greyhound parent could!"

                :) Love. Our little guy is Italian, therefore quite a bit smaller, but everyone's favorite. Doesn't take him more than a minute to realize that his new best friend is the person now petting his grey head.

                And, blergh...who offers to come over to someone else's home, eat the food they have prepared, but only on the condition that their beloved dogs not come anywhere near?? Again - blergh.

          2. I would meet them at a restaurant, enjoy their company and let the dog situation be a total non-issue.

            1 Reply
            1. re: weezieduzzit

              Thank you so much for validating me/this. Grey, u made me laugh. We have had many people over with no issue. But my dogs do figure in the situation

            2. Two aspects to consider here, be a respectful guest, be a thoughtful host. A respectful guest does not set terms for her host. A thoughtful host does not force his guest into an uncomfortable suituation. Basically, it is impolite for your coworker to ask you to remove your pets from your home, with an exception for allergies of course. OTOH, perhaps she feels very uncomfortable or even afraid of large animals. Personally I despise it when someone has expressed fear of something and others make light of it and attempt to convince the person the fear is irrational. "Oh you'll be fine my dogs wouldn't hurt a fly...etc."
              Obviously you enjoy this coworker's company, would you be willing to accomodate her? Perhaps the pets could be placed in the bedroom while she is there?
              Both my Goldens are gone now but I had no problem whatsoever crating them during parties. They shed like crazy and I felt my guests should not have dry cleaning bills or hair in their drinks as the cost of spending time with me.

              2 Replies
              1. re: Jerseygirl111

                as a family with allergies (albeit with cats) -- visiting in a home where an animal lives is more than enough to trigger a reaction for most people -- the animal doesn't even have to be in the home to make it a very uncomfortable visit. So we either dose up on allergy meds prior to a visit, or once in a while, we just suggest getting together at a restaurant -- with full disclosure of the allergy, and profuse apologies.

                We have a couple of friends who have a near-phobia of dogs -- they would never ask us to toss our dog out in the desert heat in the summer...but we are conscious to keep him away from them, which is within their tolerance.

                1. re: sunshine842

                  now that's what I call reasonable accommodation.

              2. Wait, did she say she would only come over if your dogs were kept outside, or was that something you proposed when inviting her over - maybe assuming in advance she wouldn't be comfortable with them in the house.

                If she is flat out saying she won't come over for dinner unless you keep your dogs outside, I would just stick with a restaurant. But personally, I think that is a little rude of her considering she's a dog owner as well. Chihuahua's may be small, but they can be pretty mean and high strung themselves.

                1. Yeah...tell her that her comment completely "smacks of speciesism" and you can't have any part of it.

                  Problem solved. ;)