Great moments in fine dining
1. In Meccano, Auckland New Zealand at night. A reasonably with- it place, lots of glass walls in a commercial part of the waterfront and over looking the port. The rescue helicopters come and go in front. Quite good food and usually has an Entertainment coupon. I am there with the Ms.
Oh yeah, the point of the story. Subdued lighting. I have the menu in hand and lean forward with it to catch some light. The menu catches fire from the candle underneath which I hadn't noticed.
2. South of France. No fish at the modest fish place where we went to the day before in Marseilles- ocean too rough for the boats to go out, but an amaaaaazing chocolate cake- best ever. So the next day, in a crossed knives and forks place, (Les Olivieres or something, pardon my French), I ache for fish, I look at the menu, my heart jumps when I see bourride. Fish and a soup too! I ask how it would go with the rest of the meal and am told, fine. Yum yum!
So I order, and I get what really was listed - barrade- scrambled eggs and truffles. Frankly I preferred the eggs with salami and onions that I make . Can you tell I am Polish?
You share too, no shame.
10 years ago when sushi was just becoming chic, I was having dinner at a sushi restaurant bar. I was having a piece of sashimi which was covered with my heavily dosed wasabi soy mixture. As I bite the sashimi in half and proceed to pull the un-bitten half away from my mouth to place back on my plate, I find my chop sticks only have a firm grip on the rice, not the fish on-top. Realizing I literally have a dead fish flopping out of my mouth, I quickly try to "slurp" it into my mouth, similar to how a child would do with a few strings of pasta. As I go to slurp the fish filet flips upward against my top lip, in the process it launches a wasabi soy cannon ball directly to my eye.
Suddenly what could only be described as a pain equal to 1000 needles being jammed into my eye at once, my entire sinus area unleashes itself. I simultaneously started to tear and or cry while snot ran out my nose and down my throat which led to me to choke and gag a bit which led to me projectile snotting rice out of my nose and mouth.
For those of you that remember the infamous blueberry pie eating contest in the move Stand By Me.......I can honestly say as I projectile snotted and spit rice from my nose and mouth, nearly every other person in the bar started to dry heave and spit out their food. I set off a chain reaction of dry heaving, choking and regurgitation unseen in any public forum before.
I stepped outside to compose myself only to come back to a very hostile environment, which it was obvious I was no longer welcome. I asked for my check and left the rest of my sashimi behind.