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Universal Kitchen Truths

rmarisco Jun 12, 2013 09:20 PM

It happens every time: the minute I start cutting chilis, I get something in my eye....

or, I get my hands in the middle of some gloppy mess and the phone rings.

any of this kind of thing happen to anyone else out there in cooking land?

  1. Antilope Jun 12, 2013 09:28 PM

    You are usually one ingredient short and have to make a substitution.

    When your hands are the most sticky and gloppy, you need one more ingredient from the fridge.

    When you are frying something in hot, popping grease, the dog will come over and stand between you and the stove.

    You've made a recipe for years and it is wonderful, except when you prepare it for an important event, then something will always go wrong.

    The one item you need is always behind five other things in the back of the fridge.

    No matter how careful you are, when you are finished baking, there is always a thin layer of flour covering everything on the kitchen counter.

    53 Replies
    1. re: Antilope
      mucho gordo Jun 13, 2013 01:51 PM

      So true about the dog. Bruin loves to lie in front of the sink or stove when in use.

      1. re: mucho gordo
        Antilope Jun 13, 2013 02:25 PM

        We have chihuahuas now, but years ago we had a dalmatian that would lay in front of the oven and guard it on Thanksgiving. ;-)

        1. re: Antilope
          mucho gordo Jun 13, 2013 06:19 PM

          I don't think the dogs considers it guarding. They're waiting for you to drop a drumstick.

          1. re: mucho gordo
            liza219 Jun 13, 2013 09:32 PM

            Cats, too. They also seem to get "stuck" between the fridge and fridge door, when trying to close it. Of course, they don't do this on purpose.

            1. re: liza219
              Antilope Jun 13, 2013 10:23 PM

              When we were kids we had a guinea pig that would start squealing when it heard the fridge door open. It knew that's where the lettuce was kept.

              It must have learned that after hearing the fridge door sound and then lettuce would appear. Maybe it was Pavlov's Guinea Pig. ;-)

              We currently have an Amazon parrot that mimics the microwave beeps and done/ready tone.

              I sometimes do a double-take to see if I left something in the microwave. 8~}

              1. re: liza219
                suzigirl Jun 14, 2013 08:34 AM

                My cat is the worst in the kitchen. He gets himself in between me and the stove and stretches himself up on the oven door like he is being frisked by the cops. Then he just watches me and moves his head following what I am doing up there. Its too cute.

                1. re: suzigirl
                  Perilagu Khan Jun 14, 2013 10:15 AM

                  One of my cats (his name is Sulla) does much the same. And he can be comatose in the farthest corner of the house, but if I open a package of meat, no matter how stealthily, he will come staggering blearily into the kitchen and demand his cut.

                  1. re: Perilagu Khan
                    suzigirl Jun 14, 2013 10:20 AM

                    My female can hear the lid come off the olive jar from a dead sleep and also demands her cut.

                    1. re: suzigirl
                      Perilagu Khan Jun 14, 2013 10:22 AM

                      An olive-loving feline?

                      **signs and wonders**

                      Does she dote on a particular kind of olive?

                      1. re: Perilagu Khan
                        suzigirl Jun 14, 2013 10:36 AM

                        Manzanilla pimento stuffed green are her poison

                        1. re: suzigirl
                          KaimukiMan Jul 22, 2013 11:12 PM

                          OK, I've heard of chow HOUNDS, but chow CATS?

                          1. re: KaimukiMan
                            suzigirl Jul 24, 2013 01:19 PM

                            She is one of many chow kitties I have had and i know there are plenty more here.

                      2. re: suzigirl
                        cayjohan Jun 14, 2013 10:49 AM

                        My 17 year old cat becomes as spry as a kitten if olives are opened. They make him crazy. I have to be careful if I am chopping olives, as he will absolutely climb up a leg to try to get to the olive-y goodness. His preference is pimento-stuffed Spanish. When I make picadillo, the soundtrack to the cooking is a constant and pitiful caterwauling. What is it with cats and olives?

                        One of my other cats thinks any plastic bag noise emanating from the kitchen means he's getting a rice cake. Rice cake loving cat? Really? It's a headscratcher. But he loves them with fierce devotion.

                        1. re: cayjohan
                          suzigirl Jun 14, 2013 10:53 AM

                          I am glad Cashmere doesn't have it that bad but she will stretch up my leg and beg.

                          1. re: suzigirl
                            girloftheworld Jun 14, 2013 07:39 PM

                            cats like olives? wow..I never knew that I must tell my aunt this..she has three cats..

                            1. re: girloftheworld
                              Antilope Jun 14, 2013 07:49 PM

                              Cats also really like cantaloupe. We have had several cats that crave it.

                              1. re: Antilope
                                girloftheworld Jun 14, 2013 07:50 PM

                                wonder if a cat could be vegiterian?

                                1. re: girloftheworld
                                  Sharuf Jun 15, 2013 07:11 AM

                                  I had company coming, so I put out a tray of canapes with cream cheese topped with lox. I went to the door, greeted my friends, and when we got to the table, half of lox was missing, and there was Cleopatra going at it.

                                  1. re: girloftheworld
                                    Perilagu Khan Jun 15, 2013 07:38 AM

                                    I wouldn't advise trying it. They're natural carnivores.

                                    1. re: girloftheworld
                                      WNYamateur Jul 23, 2013 10:07 AM

                                      Actually, no. I worked with a vegetarian with 2 cats, and she said she'd done the research: you can develop a healthy vegetarian diet for dogs but not for cats.

                                      1. re: WNYamateur
                                        girloftheworld Jul 24, 2013 04:43 PM

                                        weird I would have thought the opposite.

                                    2. re: Antilope
                                      cayjohan Jun 14, 2013 08:05 PM

                                      I had one of those flavors of cats, too. The cantaloupe fiend. My first husband and I were young marrieds in the mid 80's and the Thing was cantaloupe and prosciutto. We thought the cat was after the meat, but later learned that cat would eat to a bloat-state on cantaloupe if allowed to.

                                      An (even further) aside: I was advised by my Animal Control folks to use cantaloupe as bait for a marauding woodchuck, as its fragrance is so strong. I wonder if that pungency is what attracts cats, tending as they do toward the *smelly*?

                                      1. re: cayjohan
                                        Felila Jun 18, 2013 05:40 PM

                                        Dear deceased Ptolemy cat loved Motoyama Teriyaki Nori Hot (spicy dried seaweed). I would hold up a strip, he would jump for it and catch it between his front paws, then retire to a corner to eat it up. Crunch crunch.

                                        1. re: Felila
                                          cayjohan Jun 18, 2013 09:06 PM

                                          Harry, the younger of my Maine Coons, *lives* for playing catch with cheese. The cheese drawer in the fridge in The Most Fascinating Thing Ever. We frequently snack on cheese in the evening, and it always means a game of Catch the Cheese with Harry. Heroic leaps! It's amazing. He doesn't eat the cheese; we have to be mindful of collecting the cheese after playtime. And he does have preferences. Tonight, it was Havarti. For awhile he was completely hung up on some hunks of Fontina. He won't even turn his head for cheddars. The last time I picked up some Havarti, my inner voice noted that *Oh, Harry loves this one.* Sigh. Yes, we often choose our cheese based on playing catch with the dang cat.

                                          1. re: cayjohan
                                            suzigirl Jun 19, 2013 10:16 AM

                                            We have a male that plays catch also. He likes lunchmeat. He is quite the catch

                                      2. re: Antilope
                                        liza219 Jun 14, 2013 10:16 PM

                                        I have one cat with a soft spot for Turkey Hill Root Beer ice cream. What can I say....he also likes avocado...hide the guacamole!

                                        1. re: liza219
                                          buttertart Jun 27, 2013 02:36 PM

                                          Avocado is not supposed to be good for cats.

                                          1. re: buttertart
                                            ohmyyum Jun 27, 2013 03:43 PM

                                            Uh oh.. Mine love it too!

                                            1. re: ohmyyum
                                              buttertart Jun 27, 2013 04:56 PM

                                              Check it out...

                                            2. re: buttertart
                                              goodhealthgourmet Jun 27, 2013 07:11 PM

                                              That's a common misconception. Cats (and dogs) can safely eat the fruit/flesh of an avocado; the toxin (persin) is found in the skin, pit & stem.

                                              1. re: goodhealthgourmet
                                                buttertart Jun 28, 2013 11:28 AM

                                                Good to know.

                                                1. re: buttertart
                                                  goodhealthgourmet Jun 28, 2013 12:03 PM

                                                  It's amazing how widespread that notion has become. I knew there had to be more to it when I saw avocado-based dog & cat food at the pet store, so I did some research!

                                          2. re: Antilope
                                            LMAshton Jun 15, 2013 04:48 AM

                                            My cats - both now deceased - loved anything and everything spicy. And by spicy, I mean spicy to the point of seriously over-the-top it'll-kill-ya-in-five-seconds to most Canadian/American people spiciness. They'd lick tobasco sauce or sambal oelik off my fingers or plate if I let them.

                                            1. re: LMAshton
                                              Perilagu Khan Jun 15, 2013 07:40 AM

                                              Sulla chuffed a bit o' burnin' biryani chicken yesterday. His chicken madness overrode any reservations he may have had about the insane Hyderabadi spices.

                                              1. re: LMAshton
                                                pine time Jun 15, 2013 08:15 AM

                                                Mr. Pine used to rub Ben Gay on his forehead when he had a headache (he has some weird self-remedies). The cats couldn't wait to climb into his lap and lick off the Ben Gay.

                                                1. re: pine time
                                                  meatn3 Jun 15, 2013 05:55 PM

                                                  I get migraines and find that remedy to be helpful. But my cats do not like the scent at all.

                                                2. re: LMAshton
                                                  girloftheworld Jun 15, 2013 08:26 AM

                                                  lol we should start a " is your pet a foodie:" thread.

                                                  1. re: girloftheworld
                                                    suzigirl Jun 15, 2013 02:22 PM

                                                    There is an old one called "My pet loves people food". If you go to it the adorable Siamese Bengal mix kitties posted are mine. I would give you a link but I can't figure out how to do it from my tablet.

                                                  2. re: LMAshton
                                                    liza219 Jun 17, 2013 10:31 PM

                                                    Yup.....I always get worried when mine hits the wasabi, when having sushi. He snaps it in his paw and licks it. I always panic, as he scurries away to eat it.....only to see him back at the table, ready for another swipe. Half my dinners involve me running to my laptop to look up what foods may be toxic....keeps my dinners eventful!

                                                  3. re: Antilope
                                                    JMF Jun 23, 2013 10:04 PM

                                                    Whn I was a teen I had a cat that loved beer. Your glass, can, or bottle were not safe. he would tip them over and lap away until it was all gone. He would sit on the roof of my car and when I was going out partying he would jump in and sit on the back window deck and hang out. When I got to the park where we drank beer he would hop out and stroll over to everyone, begging for beer. A total alky. Egg nog during the holidays was always a main target as well.

                                                    He also loved green grapes, cheese doodles, and garlic knots from the local pizzza place. Not people food but he went wild over catching and eating crickets.

                                                  4. re: girloftheworld
                                                    suzigirl Jun 15, 2013 02:15 PM

                                                    I have had several cats over the years that LOVE olives. They can smell them on your hands and will rub their face on you. Its pretty cute actually.

                                                3. re: cayjohan
                                                  Firegoat Jun 14, 2013 11:13 AM

                                                  I've had two cats now that are obsessed with Arby's. One had a thing for their chicken strips, the other is obsessed with their roast beef. By obsessed, I mean climb in your lap and start trying to hook the food out of your hand, mouth... wherever. One is long deceased, the other is quite elderly now but when Arby's enters the house you'd think he was a kitten. The now long-deceased cat also had a thing for raw pumpkin. Made making pies interesting.....

                                                  1. re: Firegoat
                                                    Perilagu Khan Jun 14, 2013 12:22 PM

                                                    Whenever I bring home fried chicken, I have to order an extra wing just for Sulla. Otherwise, I'd go hungry.

                                                4. re: suzigirl
                                                  PotatoHouse Jun 17, 2013 04:37 PM

                                                  (Quote) Perilagu Khan Jun 14, 2013 06:15 AM

                                                  One of my cats (his name is Sulla) does much the same. And he can be comatose in the farthest corner of the house, but if I open a package of meat, no matter how stealthily, he will come staggering blearily into the kitchen and demand his cut. (/Quote)

                                                  We had a cat that would do that whenever someone cut an Avocado!! Although she wouldn't ask nicely, she would wait till you turned your back then jump on the counter and steal half the Avocado if it hadn't been sliced yet then run for the back bedroom to devour her prize!!

                                                  1. re: PotatoHouse
                                                    Perilagu Khan Jun 18, 2013 08:25 AM

                                                    Ha! The image of that is breaking me up!

                                            2. re: liza219
                                              Jeri L Aug 30, 2013 07:11 PM

                                              Just like they don't stand directly behind you when you're about to turn around.

                                          3. re: Antilope
                                            alliegator Jun 14, 2013 10:34 AM

                                            My dalmatian would guard every step of the cooking process if she could, but I found that toddler gates would force her to guard from afar :D

                                            1. re: alliegator
                                              suzigirl Jun 14, 2013 10:38 AM

                                              Not exactly a small dog to be tripping over in the kitchen. Nice solution

                                              1. re: suzigirl
                                                alliegator Jun 14, 2013 11:01 AM

                                                Thanks, it's a big help. When mangator came home and saw my day's project in action, he was like "I can't believe you did that---it's really smart". Luckily, I was not holding anything sharp ;P

                                          4. re: mucho gordo
                                            Christina D Jun 18, 2013 02:55 PM

                                            We have a quaker parrot that spins like a top and paces back and forth whenever we take cheese out of the fridge. Dairy isn't great for birds, but Jack loves his fromage. He prefers hard cheeses (parm regg is his fave) to softer ones like brie or chevre. One of these days I'm going to have to videotape it.

                                          5. re: Antilope
                                            EWSflash Jun 15, 2013 06:13 PM

                                            My old German Shepherd used to come in and lie down behind me while I was in the kitchen cooking. I'd back up, step on her, she'd squeal and jump up in horror and I'd get knocked over backward. Her name was Duchess, I should have named her Dammit.

                                            1. re: EWSflash
                                              suzigirl Jun 15, 2013 06:52 PM

                                              "Howling" with laughter.

                                              1. re: EWSflash
                                                KrumTx Jun 15, 2013 06:58 PM

                                                Lol on Dammit. My chocolate lab runs over every time I open my oven. I use my right hand to shoo/curse him away. What a dipstick. Ovens are hot!

                                            2. s
                                              sedimental Jun 12, 2013 09:37 PM

                                              Mine is absent minded stuff or multi tasking disasters:

                                              As soon as I put something to carefully watch in the pan to quickly toast (like nuts) my SO calls from the other room for me to come help with something.

                                              Whenever I put something under the broiler "for a minute", I get engrossed in something else and burn the first batch.

                                              1 Reply
                                              1. re: sedimental
                                                Dirtywextraolives Aug 28, 2013 01:24 PM

                                                Oh totally! It's always the thing that takes the least amount of time to toast/brown, then I forget what I'm doing until I smell something burning.....

                                              2. emglow101 Jun 12, 2013 09:39 PM

                                                The minute I sit down to eat the phone rings.

                                                1 Reply
                                                1. re: emglow101
                                                  breadwinner Jun 13, 2013 03:36 PM

                                                  This! A thousand times this. Worst case scenario, it's a work call and I end up having to talk for 15 minutes, so when I get back to my food it's cold.

                                                2. t
                                                  treb Jun 13, 2013 03:57 AM

                                                  My hands are goopy, I'm getting ready to do a critical blend or mix of the recipe and I gotta pee!

                                                  1 Reply
                                                  1. re: treb
                                                    JerryMe Jun 13, 2013 02:21 PM

                                                    Ha Ha Ha! That so sounds like me! My other WTH moment is when I find the utensil that I need is in the dishwasher.

                                                  2. c
                                                    charmedgirl Jun 13, 2013 09:47 AM

                                                    The toast always falls buttered side down.

                                                    6 Replies
                                                    1. re: charmedgirl
                                                      laliz Jun 13, 2013 02:13 PM

                                                      +1 (or peanut butter side down)

                                                      1. re: laliz
                                                        liza219 Jun 13, 2013 09:33 PM

                                                        Cream cheese.

                                                      2. re: charmedgirl
                                                        charmedgirl Jun 14, 2013 06:46 AM

                                                        And, as I learned this morning ... jam. :-(

                                                        1. re: charmedgirl
                                                          ohmyyum Jun 16, 2013 08:16 AM

                                                          Gah, cheese toast side down! As I just learned.

                                                          1. re: charmedgirl
                                                            TroyTempest Jun 27, 2013 02:27 PM

                                                            That's when it is good to have a dog in the kitchen, makes cleanup easy.

                                                            1. re: TroyTempest
                                                              sandylc Aug 28, 2013 03:45 PM

                                                              We used to say that our dog prayed to the god of dropped food.

                                                              His favorite words were, "dropped one!"

                                                          2. Savour Jun 13, 2013 12:37 PM

                                                            If you don't buy something because you think you have it in the pantry, you've run out (especially if it's an essential ingredient).

                                                            If you do buy it, you have 3 more sitting in the cupboard.

                                                            37 Replies
                                                            1. re: Savour
                                                              Isolda Jun 13, 2013 12:54 PM

                                                              This happens to me all the time and explains why I now have 3 cans of Amy's refried beans, 2 packages of cumin seeds, and no vanilla extract.

                                                              My daughter has this book called "milk, eggs, vodka" which is nothing but photocopied shopping lists the author supposedly found in supermarket parking lots. At the top of one such list is a note: "if you buy more rice, I'll kill you." Yeah, I get that.

                                                              1. re: Isolda
                                                                suzigirl Jun 13, 2013 01:42 PM

                                                                Oh my god that's funny. I want that book

                                                                1. re: Isolda
                                                                  pine time Jun 14, 2013 01:26 PM

                                                                  Oh, I saw a book like that once--just hilarious. My favorite: (1) tampons, (2) chocolate, (3) ice cream. My kinda gal.

                                                                  1. re: Isolda
                                                                    alliegator Jun 14, 2013 01:34 PM

                                                                    Oh, dear lord. I'd be afraid to read that book for fear of recognizing my own chicken scratch.
                                                                    Mine would be something like: Smoked paprika, fennel, 60 watt lightbulbs, case of beer, visine.

                                                                    1. re: alliegator
                                                                      pine time Jun 14, 2013 01:42 PM

                                                                      One other I saw, something like: Velveeta, cream of mush. soup, Doritos, bologna, cooking magazine. Funny, funny stuff.

                                                                      1. re: alliegator
                                                                        suzigirl Jun 14, 2013 01:46 PM

                                                                        You sure that's not my list? If the next thing on there is cat litter and pickles its mine. If its dog food its yours.

                                                                      2. re: Isolda
                                                                        cayjohan Jun 14, 2013 01:56 PM

                                                                        Must find that book! Hopefully none of our household's grocery lists are in it, as they would be indecipherable hieroglyphics. My husband, a great lover of all thing grocery-shopping-related, is prone to *illustrating* our lists. And not just in simple, straightforward way (drawing of apple meaning we need apples, for example), but with some kooky pun that I am supposed to figure out. The illustrations are not uniform, but shift according to his artistic whim. He's got a dap hand with the pen, and I admire his creativity, but most of his lists tend to be fairly off-color in humor. I just shake my head, and laugh my way through the aisles while trying to figure it out.

                                                                        1. re: cayjohan
                                                                          pine time Jun 14, 2013 02:07 PM

                                                                          The book that I saw had actual photocopies of the lists which had been found in shopping carts and from the grocery store's trash. So, hang on to your hubby's lists to avoid publication!

                                                                          1. re: pine time
                                                                            cayjohan Jun 14, 2013 02:13 PM

                                                                            I should have been hanging on to them all this time to publish them myself!

                                                                            1. re: cayjohan
                                                                              Antilope Jun 14, 2013 03:53 PM

                                                                              Lists from Walmart probably start with beer, cigarettes, lotto ticket, pork rinds.....

                                                                              1. re: Antilope
                                                                                Perilagu Khan Jun 15, 2013 07:46 AM

                                                                                List from Whole Foods:

                                                                                organic pea tendrils
                                                                                free range Sumatran sea urchin
                                                                                fair trade personal lubricant
                                                                                locally grown Beppu tofu
                                                                                Luv Your Inner Bongo Player vegan sprat gizzard sausages

                                                                                1. re: Perilagu Khan
                                                                                  pine time Jun 15, 2013 08:16 AM

                                                                                  LOL! Oh heavens, I can foresee a whole new thread (or Board) coming.

                                                                                  1. re: Perilagu Khan
                                                                                    Isolda Jun 15, 2013 04:47 PM

                                                                                    When I shop at WF, my list has stuff like that on it, but when I shop at Market Basket, it'll have stuff like "paper towels, cheddar blast goldfish, starbucks vanilla frappucinos, triscuits, pop tarts." I must have a personality disorder.

                                                                                    1. re: Isolda
                                                                                      pine time Jun 16, 2013 08:20 AM

                                                                                      Aha, Isolda: new book idea--grocery lists crosswalked with the DSM!

                                                                                      1. re: pine time
                                                                                        alliegator Jun 17, 2013 09:31 AM

                                                                                        If I anyone in the mental health profession found my grocery lists, I'm fairly certain I would promptly be diagnosed with ADD.

                                                                                        1. re: alliegator
                                                                                          fldhkybnva Jun 17, 2013 10:17 AM

                                                                                          Me too! I actually lost my list in the store yesterday and while I was finished shopping it was fine but feared what the person who discovered it would think of the "author"

                                                                                          1. re: alliegator
                                                                                            Isolda Jun 17, 2013 04:36 PM

                                                                                            If you make lists, you probably don't have ADD. People with ADD are supposed to make lists, but often don't.

                                                                                            1. re: Isolda
                                                                                              alliegator Jun 17, 2013 04:46 PM

                                                                                              It was just a joke, I meant no offense by it at all, and sorry if it was in poor taste.
                                                                                              I'm just a self-diagnosed scatterbrain:) DSM 123.4 hehe...

                                                                                              1. re: alliegator
                                                                                                Christina D Jun 18, 2013 02:58 PM

                                                                                                Lists are the only way this ADD chick survives. No harm, no foul as far as I'm concerned.

                                                                                                1. re: alliegator
                                                                                                  ohmyyum Jun 18, 2013 05:33 PM

                                                                                                  I have ADHD. I make lists. And then lose them. :-)

                                                                                                2. re: Isolda
                                                                                                  sandylc Aug 28, 2013 03:50 PM

                                                                                                  You can force an ADDer to make a list, but no way can you make them follow it!

                                                                                                3. re: alliegator
                                                                                                  pine time Jul 25, 2013 02:52 PM

                                                                                                  I AM a licensed mental health professional, and I keep my grocery lists quite confidential!

                                                                                            2. re: Perilagu Khan
                                                                                              Antilope Jun 15, 2013 05:07 PM

                                                                                              There wouldn't be list for Whole Foods on paper. That would kill trees and destroy the planet. A Whole Foods list would be on an iPhone or iPad. ;-)

                                                                                              1. re: Antilope
                                                                                                Firegoat Jun 16, 2013 06:53 AM

                                                                                                Or etched with a recyclable stylus hand crafted out of a bone from an organically raised, non-hormone-laden, grass-fed bovine into a scrap of an organic leaf which dropped from a tree by it's own will and accord and wasn't harvested in any way whatsoever and was destined to be returned lovingly to the scribe's compost heap in order to enhance the crop of organic truffles.

                                                                                                1. re: Firegoat
                                                                                                  girloftheworld Jun 16, 2013 08:14 AM

                                                                                                  literally laughed out loud - just spit non organic popcorn mixed with non organic cream soda on my screen

                                                                                                  1. re: Firegoat
                                                                                                    Isolda Jun 17, 2013 04:37 PM

                                                                                                    You killed a COW for your pen? You jerk!

                                                                                                  2. re: Antilope
                                                                                                    Perilagu Khan Jun 16, 2013 09:37 AM

                                                                                                    True. True.

                                                                                                  3. re: Perilagu Khan
                                                                                                    carlee134 Jun 17, 2013 03:47 PM

                                                                                                    Oh my. So funny.

                                                                                                  4. re: Antilope
                                                                                                    Isolda Jun 15, 2013 04:45 PM

                                                                                                    and ammo, don't forget the ammo.

                                                                                                    1. re: Antilope
                                                                                                      Antilope Jun 18, 2013 05:43 PM

                                                                                                      Years ago, after going out to dinner, my wife and I stopped by a Walmart just for some toothpicks. About 45 minutes later we left, having spend over $ 50, including a wading pool for the kids. But we forgot the toothpicks. ;-) You need that list, believe me.

                                                                                                    2. re: cayjohan
                                                                                                      KaimukiMan Jul 22, 2013 11:19 PM

                                                                                                      never too late to start saving those lists for publication

                                                                                                    3. re: pine time
                                                                                                      Isolda Jun 15, 2013 04:44 PM

                                                                                                      Yep, that sounds like our book.

                                                                                                    4. re: cayjohan
                                                                                                      TroyTempest Jun 27, 2013 02:32 PM

                                                                                                      On a a related note, check out the website / magazine, "found magazine", though more than shopping lists. There is a new entry every day. Today's is somewhat food related.

                                                                                                      1. re: cayjohan
                                                                                                        dratlover Jul 18, 2013 10:30 AM

                                                                                                        You are a very lucky woman...I am a little jealous.

                                                                                                      2. re: Isolda
                                                                                                        jacquelyncoffey Jul 21, 2013 10:44 AM

                                                                                                        Was going out with my friend one evening, told her I had to stop at the grocery and bring the stuff home to my mother. She asked what I needed to get, I told her "bananas and toilet paper" and she said "Are you having cravings again?" Cracks me up everytime I think about it :)

                                                                                                      3. re: Savour
                                                                                                        girloftheworld Jun 14, 2013 07:42 PM

                                                                                                        and this how our cupboard came to have four bags of brown sugar..two bottles ot karo syrup :)

                                                                                                        1. re: girloftheworld
                                                                                                          suzigirl Jun 15, 2013 02:30 PM

                                                                                                          And exactly why my fridge has about six bags of shredded cheese and pantry has four or five kinds of pickles. You'll get it when you're in your fourties. :-)

                                                                                                      4. l
                                                                                                        Lorry13 Jun 13, 2013 12:42 PM

                                                                                                        The phone rings when your hands are touching raw chicken.

                                                                                                        1 Reply
                                                                                                        1. re: Lorry13
                                                                                                          Isolda Jun 13, 2013 12:55 PM

                                                                                                          Raw chicken is why voice mail was invented.

                                                                                                        2. juliejulez Jun 13, 2013 12:52 PM

                                                                                                          My dog always whines to go outside right when I start handling raw chicken.

                                                                                                          2 Replies
                                                                                                          1. re: juliejulez
                                                                                                            EM23 Jun 13, 2013 07:23 PM

                                                                                                            Ah, the old, "take care of business and be back in time for a bit of your dinner" act. My hound scored a few pieces of broccoli and a bite of steak tonight.

                                                                                                            1. re: juliejulez
                                                                                                              firecooked Jul 24, 2013 04:55 PM

                                                                                                              My dog starts barking at the front window whenever my hands are goopy enough I cant walk to the other side of the kitchen to tell him to shut up.

                                                                                                            2. PattiCakes Jun 13, 2013 01:36 PM

                                                                                                              If you spend an inordinate amount of time cooking a meal, the likelihood is high that your significant other will walk through the door half an hour later than he/she usually comes home, and will announce "Don't bother cooking anything for me; I ate on the way home/ate a late lunch."

                                                                                                              The one pan you need RIGHT NOW is in the sink with a layer of crusted yuck on the bottom.

                                                                                                              You need one or two slices of bread for the meatloaf recipe you have already mixed in the bowl. The only 2 slices you have sprouted mold overnight.

                                                                                                              You've had a stressful day, and you have been dreaming of that one last slice of double chocolate, Kahlua, rum and coconut cheesecake that you spend all last Sunday making, but never had a chance to try. Your significant other eats it 5 minutes before you get home.

                                                                                                              2 Replies
                                                                                                              1. re: PattiCakes
                                                                                                                suzigirl Jun 13, 2013 01:43 PM

                                                                                                                This is exactly what I was thinking. Great minds....

                                                                                                                1. re: PattiCakes
                                                                                                                  noodlepoodle Jun 13, 2013 08:50 PM

                                                                                                                  Yeh...we have a last cookie rule in the house. Too many times I've come home from work to find a whole batch of cookies I baked completely gone. Now at least there's one left for me. It's working pretty well. No one wants to bear the guilt.

                                                                                                                2. h
                                                                                                                  HillJ Jun 13, 2013 02:15 PM

                                                                                                                  Sure to break a wine glass after the floors have been cleaned.
                                                                                                                  Sure to trip over my step stool at least once a week.
                                                                                                                  Sure to forget the toaster oven is on while I'm on the phone
                                                                                                                  Sure to forget eggs are on the boil when a friend stops by
                                                                                                                  Sure to forget .....

                                                                                                                  1 Reply
                                                                                                                  1. re: HillJ
                                                                                                                    HillJ Jun 14, 2013 11:04 AM

                                                                                                                    Forgot about the six eggs on the boil while killing my time talking to the insurance company....never fails!!

                                                                                                                  2. fldhkybnva Jun 13, 2013 03:31 PM

                                                                                                                    I always seem to get cuts on my hands before I'm planning to use lemons or maybe they just make me aware of them.

                                                                                                                    1 Reply
                                                                                                                    1. re: fldhkybnva
                                                                                                                      rmarisco Jun 13, 2013 07:37 PM

                                                                                                                      just did this TODAY!

                                                                                                                    2. m
                                                                                                                      miss_belle Jun 13, 2013 05:34 PM

                                                                                                                      Just about each one down below. Too funny..

                                                                                                                      1. Redwine Jun 13, 2013 07:33 PM

                                                                                                                        As I am saying " OMG Puppy get out of the way, this is hot! " Puppy hears "OMG Puppy something tasty is dropping your way!"

                                                                                                                        1 Reply
                                                                                                                        1. re: Redwine
                                                                                                                          CindyJ Jun 14, 2013 12:13 PM

                                                                                                                          If I could draw, I'd make that into a cartoon. :)

                                                                                                                        2. u
                                                                                                                          ultimatepotato Jun 14, 2013 05:17 AM

                                                                                                                          My Mother will call in the very important last 60 seconds of cooking pasta.
                                                                                                                          A friend will visit for dinner and when I've figured out a tasty meal using the ingredients I have on hand, they will announce that they've gone vegetarian/gluten free/no dairy/low carb/minimal calories....and I have to go the supermarket because I was planning on making cheesy, meaty, glutinous something and plenty of it.
                                                                                                                          If I put 3 eggs in an omelette instead of 2 because they need to be used up, I'll need that one egg the next day.
                                                                                                                          That the first thing I cook after steaming the floors will spill, splatter and drip.

                                                                                                                          1 Reply
                                                                                                                          1. re: ultimatepotato
                                                                                                                            rmarisco Aug 29, 2013 03:33 PM

                                                                                                                            oh my gosh... that whole no dairy low carb thing....SO TRUE. had that happen MANY times. plus, am i then feeling embarassed because i didn't know and made something (with love) that was basically poison... or am i angry because nobody bothered to include me in the discussion and i've done something unwillingly?? it's vexing. i hate it. i've gotten to the point that i have just a few dishes that i fall back on to take places.. and even those i need to adjust sometimes.

                                                                                                                          2. c
                                                                                                                            Chatsworth Jun 14, 2013 06:54 AM

                                                                                                                            The day after hosting a dinner I'll find something in the oven/microwave that I heated up but forgot to serve.

                                                                                                                            1. b
                                                                                                                              Bkeats Jun 14, 2013 08:19 AM

                                                                                                                              Red wine only gets spilled on white things. White tablecloths, white rugs, white chairs, white dresses or shirts, etc.

                                                                                                                              6 Replies
                                                                                                                              1. re: Bkeats
                                                                                                                                goodhealthgourmet Jun 27, 2013 07:16 PM

                                                                                                                                This goes for coffee & tea as well. I have a dear friend who spills coffee on herself at least once a week, and pretty much without fail she's wearing white when it happens.

                                                                                                                                1. re: Bkeats
                                                                                                                                  rmarisco Aug 29, 2013 03:34 PM

                                                                                                                                  agreed: i am only hungry for pasta with meat sauce when i am wearing a white shirt

                                                                                                                                  1. re: rmarisco
                                                                                                                                    Perilagu Khan Aug 30, 2013 08:33 AM

                                                                                                                                    In my case--last night--I was wearing white shorts.

                                                                                                                                  2. re: Bkeats
                                                                                                                                    fldhkybnva Aug 29, 2013 04:24 PM

                                                                                                                                    I don't drink much red wine, but if I'm eating hot sauce, having kimchi or drinking cranberry juice, I for sure will also be wearing white pants or shirt and spill not once but at least three times.

                                                                                                                                    1. re: fldhkybnva
                                                                                                                                      suzigirl Aug 29, 2013 05:03 PM

                                                                                                                                      I seem to always drop something that stains or is greasy on my blouse "shelf"(you know what i mean ladies) when I am out and doing something important.

                                                                                                                                      1. re: suzigirl
                                                                                                                                        Dirtywextraolives Aug 29, 2013 07:07 PM

                                                                                                                                        Oh good Lord, ain't that the truth?!

                                                                                                                                  3. Firegoat Jun 14, 2013 08:47 AM

                                                                                                                                    If the significant other "cleans up after dinner" I will find a broken glass in the trash.

                                                                                                                                    The food is done when the smoke detector goes off.

                                                                                                                                    If the S.O. cooks be sure to check to see the oven is turned off so it doesn't stay heated all freakin' night (again.)

                                                                                                                                    If you have carpet in your kitchen the things you will drop will stain and nothing will ever get them completely out.

                                                                                                                                    1 Reply
                                                                                                                                    1. re: Firegoat
                                                                                                                                      mucho gordo Jun 16, 2013 12:14 PM

                                                                                                                                      #'s 2 and 3 are right-on

                                                                                                                                    2. Perilagu Khan Jun 14, 2013 10:20 AM

                                                                                                                                      Any time I make a red pasta sauce that must be reduced, I inevitably am wearing a white shirt.

                                                                                                                                      1. alliegator Jun 14, 2013 10:42 AM

                                                                                                                                        I think all of my most common ones are covered.
                                                                                                                                        I get a nasty hangnail on a citrus or chili day, I'm short one ingredient, or (oh god), the freaking phone. That one almost never fails. Especially if I see it's my husband, I'll have to answer because if he's running late or has a last minute dinner meeting, I need to know about that.

                                                                                                                                        1 Reply
                                                                                                                                        1. re: alliegator
                                                                                                                                          alliegator Jun 14, 2013 11:10 AM

                                                                                                                                          I have to add running the dog out, thinking it'll be a quicky business trip. Then running in to everyone I know, and after telling them all you've got something on the stove, it's too late. Sigh...

                                                                                                                                        2. Antilope Jun 14, 2013 11:17 AM

                                                                                                                                          If you look closely, there are still small flecks of previous kitchen disasters on the ceiling.

                                                                                                                                          You have a craving for something baked, on the hottest day of the year.

                                                                                                                                          There are opened jars of things in your fridge that you and your spouse don't remember buying. Or don't remember when you bought them.

                                                                                                                                          10 Replies
                                                                                                                                          1. re: Antilope
                                                                                                                                            cayjohan Jun 14, 2013 11:36 AM

                                                                                                                                            "There are opened jars of things in you fridge that you and your spouse don't remember buying. Or don't remember when you bought them."

                                                                                                                                            I am beginning to believe that refrigerators are the terminal points of wormholes. Between the 'where-is-that-thing-I-knew-I-had' and the 'what-is-this-and-where-did-it come-from' questions that arise from fridge-digging, I sometimes wonder if the contents of said fridge belong to somebody else, somewhere else. Do you have my preserved lemons, perchance? And have you been looking for a crusty old jar of Goober Grape? If so, it's here at this end of the wormhole.

                                                                                                                                            1. re: cayjohan
                                                                                                                                              Firegoat Jun 14, 2013 12:31 PM

                                                                                                                                              I have your Wasabi mustard.... some sort of hot sauce I am damn sure I never purchased.

                                                                                                                                              1. re: cayjohan
                                                                                                                                                alliegator Jun 14, 2013 01:02 PM

                                                                                                                                                And if anyone is missing a jar of Kraft pimento cheese spread, it turned up in my fridge, so let me know. I didn't buy it. It must have come with the condo?

                                                                                                                                                1. re: alliegator
                                                                                                                                                  Antilope Jun 14, 2013 03:48 PM

                                                                                                                                                  When you buy a computer it's loaded with all kinds of bloatware programs. Maybe the fridge mfgs are responsible for some of these phantom products in the back of our fridges. ;-).

                                                                                                                                                  1. re: Antilope
                                                                                                                                                    cayjohan Jun 14, 2013 05:27 PM

                                                                                                                                                    Ye gawds, I think you're onto something! Last time a fridge gave up the ghost and had to, had to, had to be replaced immediately, I thought I had done a good job editing the transferred contents. But within a few weeks, odd and unaccounted for items showed up. With all the techy fridge options out there, I think I'd like one to tell me exactly how some things showed up in those recesses! Hmmm...intra-fridge video surveillance? Food malware alerts? ;)

                                                                                                                                                2. re: cayjohan
                                                                                                                                                  KaimukiMan Jul 22, 2013 11:27 PM

                                                                                                                                                  I have a nifty glass container with a plastic lid with tabs that fold down on all four sides. There is a gelatinous blob inside. I don't know what it is, I don't know where the container came from, and I'm afraid to throw it out. It might be some alien creature that will either take over the world or might die if exposed to sunlight, hiding in my fridge till the mother ship arrives. It's a horrific responsibility. I know it wasn't in there 5 years ago when I got the fridge, but other than that I can't swear to anything.

                                                                                                                                                  1. re: KaimukiMan
                                                                                                                                                    cayjohan Jul 23, 2013 10:10 AM

                                                                                                                                                    Advance scouts! Refrigerator wormholes! Maybe this is how The Invasion begins! I had one of Those -- it turned out to be a long-forgotten batch of konnyaku noodles. It did seem to be approaching sentience, however, and I could swear it growled at me when pried from its Tupperware pod.

                                                                                                                                                    1. re: cayjohan
                                                                                                                                                      Firegoat Jul 24, 2013 08:38 AM

                                                                                                                                                      Well I guess the next time I decide to shop a movie idea to Asylum (makers of "Sharknado") I know where to come for ideas.

                                                                                                                                                      1. re: Firegoat
                                                                                                                                                        girloftheworld Jul 24, 2013 04:46 PM

                                                                                                                                                        " We cant stand here and let leftovers rain down on us!"

                                                                                                                                                        as people wield their bob kramers in attack

                                                                                                                                                3. re: Antilope
                                                                                                                                                  EWSflash Jun 15, 2013 07:38 PM

                                                                                                                                                  "small flecks of previous kitchen disasters on the ceiling"

                                                                                                                                                  Ha! I only see them when family comes over in a herd for Christmas or Thanksgiving

                                                                                                                                                4. mrbigshotno.1 Jun 14, 2013 04:52 PM

                                                                                                                                                  Even if there is only one other person in the house, at some point they are going to get in the way.

                                                                                                                                                  10 Replies
                                                                                                                                                  1. re: mrbigshotno.1
                                                                                                                                                    suzigirl Jun 14, 2013 05:03 PM

                                                                                                                                                    I could not agree more. I am cooking and the man is grabbing a beer when I need to use the bar to chop and it is directly across from each other in a galley style kitchen. Or he is hunting for a pre meal snack, butt in the air, fridge wide open.

                                                                                                                                                    1. re: suzigirl
                                                                                                                                                      alliegator Jun 14, 2013 05:10 PM

                                                                                                                                                      It's true not only in the kitchen, it's every room!
                                                                                                                                                      mangator in kitchen: whaddaya cookin'? me: uh, chicken
                                                                                                                                                      mangator in bathroom: whaddaya doin'? me: brushing teeth
                                                                                                                                                      mangator in closet: whaddaya upto? me: looking for a top
                                                                                                                                                      It could go on and on...

                                                                                                                                                      1. re: alliegator
                                                                                                                                                        suzigirl Jun 14, 2013 06:12 PM

                                                                                                                                                        At least you have been married almost two decades. I am with a many year bachelor that owned his own house and occupied every corner before i moved in. I would love to move into something less bachelor friendly and has more kitchen and closets. Might lead to less whattaya doin' on the home front here. Btw, I think mangator just misses you.

                                                                                                                                                        1. re: alliegator
                                                                                                                                                          pine time Jun 15, 2013 08:18 AM

                                                                                                                                                          When the Mr. is trailing close behind, asking "whadya doing?" I'll suddenly stop, making him crash into me from behind. Hasn't stopped his habit, though.

                                                                                                                                                          1. re: alliegator
                                                                                                                                                            EWSflash Jun 15, 2013 07:43 PM

                                                                                                                                                            Add to that a DH who works in wildland firefighting and is gone several times a year for two weeks at a time, usually. When they come back no matter what you need to be in the kitchen- or bathroom, or back yard- they're already there. We call it re-entry. Then about the time you get used to them, off they go to another fire for X amount of time.

                                                                                                                                                            1. re: EWSflash
                                                                                                                                                              pine time Jun 16, 2013 08:22 AM

                                                                                                                                                              Just tell me how to sign up the retired Mr. Pine in wildland firefighting and he's there! (In reality: wow, what an important job.)

                                                                                                                                                              1. re: pine time
                                                                                                                                                                Firegoat Jun 16, 2013 08:24 AM

                                                                                                                                                                I always find I get along better with Mr. Goat when he's away more. And I love anyone who firefights grass/forest fires. Those scare me to death. I've had my horses marked with my phone number and about to let them out before the fire turned. Scary stuff.

                                                                                                                                                                1. re: Firegoat
                                                                                                                                                                  alliegator Jun 17, 2013 04:30 PM

                                                                                                                                                                  Same here, but luckily mangator's job is quite safe.
                                                                                                                                                                  You're both vary brave!

                                                                                                                                                        2. re: mrbigshotno.1
                                                                                                                                                          Chatsworth Jun 14, 2013 08:33 PM

                                                                                                                                                          My problem is that even when there is no other person in the house, at some point I still get in my own way.

                                                                                                                                                          1. re: mrbigshotno.1
                                                                                                                                                            jbsiegel Jun 19, 2013 09:40 AM

                                                                                                                                                            Either that or they are going to just stand there and stare at you while you work. (Although I guess this is marginally better than offering to help - which makes things take 5 times longer than they should...)

                                                                                                                                                          2. Firegoat Jun 15, 2013 04:51 AM

                                                                                                                                                            If you felt lazy after a meal and just left the dirty dishes in the sink ... even if this is the only time you've ever done it in your life... unexpected company will drop by.

                                                                                                                                                            12 Replies
                                                                                                                                                            1. re: Firegoat
                                                                                                                                                              Isolda Jun 15, 2013 04:53 PM

                                                                                                                                                              A friend of mine has a permanent cover for just such a situation. She leaves a vacuum by her front door, and when people unexpectedly drop in, she gestures to it and says, "Oh, I was just about to start cleaning, so please pardon the mess and come in."

                                                                                                                                                              1. re: Isolda
                                                                                                                                                                girloftheworld Jun 15, 2013 05:08 PM

                                                                                                                                                                I am soooooo going to remember this for the rest of my life

                                                                                                                                                                1. re: girloftheworld
                                                                                                                                                                  Antilope Jun 15, 2013 05:22 PM

                                                                                                                                                                  But the layer of dust on the vacuum is a dead giveaway. ;-)

                                                                                                                                                                  I can see a whole new industry. Just like fake security cameras, now hollow fake vacuums.

                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: Antilope
                                                                                                                                                                    girloftheworld Jun 15, 2013 07:02 PM

                                                                                                                                                                    saw a sign on pinterest I want to make for mom. "Pardon the mess but we are busy living here"

                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: girloftheworld
                                                                                                                                                                      Antilope Jun 15, 2013 07:18 PM

                                                                                                                                                                      Some days, I have to clean the house to find the vacuum. ;-)

                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: Antilope
                                                                                                                                                                        girloftheworld Jun 15, 2013 07:49 PM

                                                                                                                                                                        we have a "for hire" chart with money hanging on it. It has all the stuff that isnt regular keep the house running chores.. we only have carpet on the stairs and upstairs... sure enough a ten dollar bill will appear clipped there "Vacuum stairs by Friday" knowing we dont allowence for "you are part of this house chores" sure enough we fight to grab that ten.

                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: Antilope
                                                                                                                                                                          Isolda Jun 17, 2013 04:38 PM

                                                                                                                                                                          We keep ours in the wine closet and someone is always going in there for something, so we can't lose it.

                                                                                                                                                                      2. re: Antilope
                                                                                                                                                                        goodhealthgourmet Jun 27, 2013 07:23 PM

                                                                                                                                                                        But the layer of dust on the vacuum is a dead giveaway. ;-)
                                                                                                                                                                        I don't know if you've ever seen the TV show "Friends," but one of the characters was a compulsive clean freak & there was a scene in which she used a Dustbuster to clean the exterior of her vacuum.

                                                                                                                                                                  2. re: Firegoat
                                                                                                                                                                    alliegator Jun 17, 2013 04:37 PM

                                                                                                                                                                    I found it's when I'm rooting in the cabinets and fridge, making bags of expired or stale food to take to the dumpster, makeup-free with a ratty braid and all my bras are hanging to dry in the bathroom that the din-dong of dread happens.
                                                                                                                                                                    Happened last week. I could only throw on a sweatshirt (it was 110) and let the maintenance dude in :(

                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: alliegator
                                                                                                                                                                      KaimukiMan Jul 22, 2013 11:35 PM

                                                                                                                                                                      My mom was a typical 60's housewife. She didn't wear pearls and heels around the house, but she certainly didn't go to the store without makeup and 'nice' clothes, except every once in a great while when she was in a real hurry (Grandparents called were in the area, would be dropping by for dinner, something like that.) And wouldn't you know it the nosiest, gossipiest woman in our neighborhood was ALWAYS at the store on those days ready to pounce on her appearance and attire.

                                                                                                                                                                    2. re: Firegoat
                                                                                                                                                                      ItalGreyHound Jun 18, 2013 02:21 PM

                                                                                                                                                                      Yeah, mine's cleanliness related too - I keep a clean kitchen at most times. Dirty dishes go in the dishwasher, I clean as I go when I cook, kitchen's clean before bed, etc. But inevitably the only times things are a mess in there are the times my MIL stops by...

                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: Firegoat
                                                                                                                                                                        laliz Jun 18, 2013 03:32 PM

                                                                                                                                                                        and its someone who (not so) secretly is disapproving of you already

                                                                                                                                                                      2. meatn3 Jun 15, 2013 06:07 PM

                                                                                                                                                                        I put together a terrific grocery list, pairing new recipes with items on sale and purchase the lot. The moment the last item is put away things immediately turn insane, leaving no time to cook. Eventually it all turns into a very ugly biology experiment in the fridge...

                                                                                                                                                                        5 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: meatn3
                                                                                                                                                                          girloftheworld Jun 15, 2013 06:12 PM

                                                                                                                                                                          wouldnt it be cool if there was a way of accessing a video of the inside of your fridge or cupboard on your phone like those nanny cams? you could be at the store and bizinga ohhhh I am out of eggs after all!

                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: girloftheworld
                                                                                                                                                                            suzigirl Jun 15, 2013 06:57 PM

                                                                                                                                                                            It would be cool and I want one.

                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: suzigirl
                                                                                                                                                                              KaimukiMan Jul 22, 2013 11:37 PM

                                                                                                                                                                              Im sure you could do something with bar codes . . .

                                                                                                                                                                          2. re: meatn3
                                                                                                                                                                            pine time Jun 16, 2013 08:24 AM

                                                                                                                                                                            Oh goodness: my grocery list/next week's mean plan is called "fiction" in our household. I seldom, very very seldom, make even 1/2 of what's on the list. That means I probably could live 2 or 3 months out of what's in the pantry. The fridge can become a biohazard zone.

                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: meatn3
                                                                                                                                                                              liza219 Jun 17, 2013 10:37 PM

                                                                                                                                                                              Yup....along with the recipe disapearing, never to be seen again; be it on paper, or bookmarked, saved for "offline reading". Just gone.

                                                                                                                                                                            2. s
                                                                                                                                                                              swoll50 Jun 15, 2013 07:26 PM

                                                                                                                                                                              the father-in-law will definitely mess with my grill

                                                                                                                                                                              1. Firegoat Jun 16, 2013 08:30 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                If you're non-drinking mother drops by unannounced while in town you will always have a cold beer opened and on the counter.

                                                                                                                                                                                3 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: Firegoat
                                                                                                                                                                                  alliegator Jun 17, 2013 09:35 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                  Or she'll be there when you need to run the trash out and when you pull the bag out of the bin, it goes "clink clink clink clink".

                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: Firegoat
                                                                                                                                                                                    alliegator Jun 17, 2013 04:28 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                    At least mine is just the in-law. Luckily, mommy can drink me under any table.

                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: Firegoat
                                                                                                                                                                                      Isolda Jun 17, 2013 04:40 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                      At which point you say, "I was just starting cocktail hour. Want one?"

                                                                                                                                                                                    2. mucho gordo Jun 18, 2013 03:32 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                      If left within reach and the dog is big enough, the food will be gone in a wink. I just hope he never learns to open the fridge.

                                                                                                                                                                                      1. l
                                                                                                                                                                                        laliz Jun 18, 2013 04:09 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                        funny funny thread

                                                                                                                                                                                        1. rmarisco Jul 18, 2013 09:38 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                          i just thought of another one: I spend time clearing the counter so i can get started cooking a meal.. and either the teens or the SO come in and immediately plop something down smack in the middle of my work area. They never get why I'm upset - "it was empty space! I was trying to stay out of your way!" Guess they think I work in the sink..

                                                                                                                                                                                          26 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: rmarisco
                                                                                                                                                                                            suzigirl Jul 18, 2013 10:01 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                            My bf does that all the time. Comes in from work and plops his keys, wallet and cell phone right on my cutting board. Umm, hello... cutting board. I stopped asking him to stop to save my sanity. He's been putting his crap on that bar longer than I have been cutting on it so he wins. I just move it.

                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: suzigirl
                                                                                                                                                                                              alliegator Jul 18, 2013 10:24 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                              Sounds like what goes on at my place. The menfolk here have 3 phones between the 2 of them and like to charge them in the evening in my work area. Why, why, why????

                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: alliegator
                                                                                                                                                                                                suzigirl Jul 18, 2013 10:26 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                Its encoded in their DNA

                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: suzigirl
                                                                                                                                                                                                  pine time Jul 21, 2013 08:56 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                  With Mr. P., I call it "male blindness." He just doesn't see the messes he leaves behind. Kinda like how he doesn't see that the bathroom needs cleaning, laundry needs to be washed, yada, yada.

                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: pine time
                                                                                                                                                                                                    suzigirl Jul 22, 2013 11:40 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                    Ah so true. But we keep them around. Who else will squish the spiders and mow the lawn? :-)

                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: pine time
                                                                                                                                                                                                      rmarisco Aug 26, 2013 04:06 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                      wow. i had no idea i was a sister wife.

                                                                                                                                                                                                      (love the male blindness! i'm gonna call it "male pattern blindness" at my house: the boys are starting to mimic their father, even though they know better. thus, it's a pattern..repeating itself..into infinity)

                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: rmarisco
                                                                                                                                                                                                        Chatsworth Aug 26, 2013 05:20 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                        Known here as "male pattern refridgerator blindiness" or "where's the butter?".

                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: Chatsworth
                                                                                                                                                                                                          pine time Aug 28, 2013 07:31 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                          Mr Pine has flat out asked, "where do you keep the milk?" Being a smart aleck, my standard response is, "in the dishwasher." He really can't find stuff in the fridge. Male blindness is rampant, I tell you. (Apologies to all the male CHs who escaped the blindness gene.)

                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: pine time
                                                                                                                                                                                                            TroyTempest Aug 28, 2013 10:02 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                            I happen to have the male deafness gene. comes in real handy sometimes.

                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: TroyTempest
                                                                                                                                                                                                              pine time Aug 28, 2013 11:00 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                              Ah, I wonder if there's a female implant I could get?

                                                                                                                                                                                                            2. re: pine time
                                                                                                                                                                                                              JMF Aug 28, 2013 11:21 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                              Both of my parents have the fridge blindness gene. Luckily I don't. I know where everything is, and what there is, in my several overcrowded fridges.

                                                                                                                                                                                                            3. re: Chatsworth
                                                                                                                                                                                                              Chatsworth Aug 29, 2013 04:20 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                              Sorry, that should be "blindness." Why is there no edit button?

                                                                                                                                                                                                    2. re: suzigirl
                                                                                                                                                                                                      sandylc Aug 28, 2013 04:56 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                      My guy cheerfully fetches things for me from the basement freezer, then puts it down as far away from where I'm working in the kitchen as possible, so I have to go get it across the room to use it.

                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: sandylc
                                                                                                                                                                                                        rmarisco Aug 29, 2013 03:39 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                        laughing... not funny... still laughing...

                                                                                                                                                                                                        i cleaned the counter the other day to prep for the next cooking step: took the cutting board to the sink to rinse off and turned around to find that one of my kids had completely set up the coffee making gear all over that area in under 15 seconds. who knew a 2 cup chemex could take so much room?? rotten teenagers...

                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: rmarisco
                                                                                                                                                                                                          sandylc Aug 29, 2013 04:37 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                          YES!!! I know this thing that happens...

                                                                                                                                                                                                        2. re: sandylc
                                                                                                                                                                                                          cayjohan Aug 29, 2013 03:57 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                          And my guy will equally cheerfully fetch from the basement freezer...but will get somehow distracted for long periods of time by his predilection for inventorying the freezer. Now, I seriously appreciate his diligence on the freezer inventory, but you'd swear the appliance was filled with every shiny-object in the world with the amount of time he spend rooting around and contemplating. It would be far less time consuming for me to just do the fetching myself, but somehow The Freezer has become his special province. He mostly manages it well, if not, um, speedily.

                                                                                                                                                                                                          Except perhaps for the elsewhere mentioned pattern-blindness that seems to manifest around all the "freeze-this-for-lunches-for-me-honey" containers that proliferate without being taken for lunches. I feel a dictat coming on...

                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: cayjohan
                                                                                                                                                                                                            Chatsworth Aug 29, 2013 04:04 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                            Is your guy an engineer?

                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: Chatsworth
                                                                                                                                                                                                              cayjohan Aug 29, 2013 04:53 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                              If he liked math a little more, perhaps he would have been an engineer. He's a publisher, and fact-checking is in his professional DNA with regard to the genre he publishes. So, my freezer, pantry, fridge and grocery lists are fact-checked continually. It's mostly useful, but occasionally maddening. Always amusing, though.

                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: cayjohan
                                                                                                                                                                                                                sandylc Aug 29, 2013 05:03 PM


                                                                                                                                                                                                            2. re: cayjohan
                                                                                                                                                                                                              sandylc Aug 29, 2013 04:38 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                              You are describing the male of the species.

                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: sandylc
                                                                                                                                                                                                                cayjohan Aug 29, 2013 05:04 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                Heh, I'll take any depersonalized scapegoat method I can get if it means marital harmony and general acceptance of The Quirk. I shouldn't gripe too much...he's waaaay better than I at victual inventory, but: So. Slow. And. Unnecessarily. Deliberative. Which leads to Cay standing at the top of the basement stairs calling " Could you just get the freaking (frozen thing) already? We manage okay, though...if'n he wants that job, he can have it!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: cayjohan
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  sandylc Aug 29, 2013 05:18 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Funny. Over the last ten minutes my husband has gone downstairs three times to get the jar of cornmeal from the freezer. It hasn't arrived upstairs yet. I continue to hope.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: cayjohan
                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Dirtywextraolives Aug 29, 2013 07:05 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    My husband calls it Methodical. I call it you-don't-know-how-to-multi-task......

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: Dirtywextraolives
                                                                                                                                                                                                                      pine time Aug 30, 2013 08:32 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Ugh: the Mr. has now taken to writing the date of opening of any package. Not once, mind you, but a minimum of 4 places, all in giant Sharpie-penned handwriting. I've asked for the rationale, and I've just come to the conclusion that there simply isn't one. He's NOT the one who shops or inventories what we have/need.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: pine time
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        cayjohan Aug 30, 2013 12:08 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        That's so funny! My husband will diligently Sharpie the lid of the freezer container of (whatever) with Whatever's name, date, and then...assigns a dollar value to it. No, not in a weirdly obsessed-with-cost way, but as a way to indicate how much he likes the contents. Every Thanksgiving I make turkey stock and reduce it to almost a demi-glace state for gravy making the following year (we get pretty serious about gravy around here); last holiday when he brought up the container of super stock, I had to laugh at the dollar value Sharpied on the lid: "One Meeeeeellion Dollars."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: cayjohan
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          pine time Aug 31, 2013 08:15 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Oh, heaven forbid that Mr. P. begins adding prices to his labeling! However, I might agree that your super stock's value is at least a meeeeeellion! LOL.

                                                                                                                                                                                                        3. d
                                                                                                                                                                                                          Dirtywextraolives Aug 28, 2013 01:18 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                          If I need an ingredient to make X, my husband or sons have already devoured it and its gone...... This happens a lot with bread, olives, condiments, lunchmeat etc.

                                                                                                                                                                                                          I plan a nice weekend meal to be grilled, and once again we're out of charcoal......

                                                                                                                                                                                                          When dear MIL is visiting, she decides to bake some complicated project, right about the time it is for me to start dinner......

                                                                                                                                                                                                          Doorbell or phone rings at the precise moment I am mixing meatballs or meatloaf.....

                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. p
                                                                                                                                                                                                            Puffin3 Aug 30, 2013 11:57 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                            When I think of 'pets' in the kitchen I feel like throwing up!
                                                                                                                                                                                                            Why not just set a place at the table for them right?
                                                                                                                                                                                                            The next time you see a dog lick another dogs butt then come into the kitchen and lick it's owners face and HANDS then watch the owner make a nice salad using their unwashed hands and serve it to you I hope you'll enjoy.
                                                                                                                                                                                                            Seriously revolting!

                                                                                                                                                                                                            8 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: Puffin3
                                                                                                                                                                                                              Perilagu Khan Aug 30, 2013 12:27 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                              My dawg hangs out in the kitchen when I'm cookin'; she's looking for a scrap. But trust me, I'd never handle food after she'd licked my hands unless what I'd warshed 'em first.

                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: Puffin3
                                                                                                                                                                                                                sandylc Aug 30, 2013 02:57 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                Nothing wrong with dogs in the kitchen. Touch the dog? Wash your hands. Period. Every time. Easy.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                Cats? They walk on the counter after walking in dirty kitty litter. Now THAT'S gross!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: sandylc
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  MrsJonesey Aug 30, 2013 07:08 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Yes, that is gross. But I've never allowed my cats on the counters. So no worse than dogs in the kitchen.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: MrsJonesey
                                                                                                                                                                                                                    sandylc Aug 30, 2013 07:17 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    If you can accomplish that with your cats, great!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    My understanding is that many people are not successful with cats in this arena...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: sandylc
                                                                                                                                                                                                                      LMAshton Aug 30, 2013 07:39 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I had no problem training my cats to stay off counters. And to not scratch furniture.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: LMAshton
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        sandylc Aug 30, 2013 07:47 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        I know that such things are possible. I just think they are generally not happening this way with most folks.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: sandylc
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          JayL Aug 30, 2013 07:51 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Because people are lazy.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Yes we have a cat.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: sandylc
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            LMAshton Aug 31, 2013 05:15 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            All it took was consistently spraying them with water when they hopped on the counters, which they only did a few times - they don't like being sprayed with water. The training stuck with them until they died.

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