Psst... We're working on the next generation of Chowhound! View >
HOME > Chowhound > Not About Food >
Apr 2, 2013 12:00 PM

How can I tell you, my dear friend, I don't love your "favorite" recipe?

I have a friend who served me a savory and sweet chicken salad. She said "This is my favorite chicken salad, and now it will be yours too". She sometimes ad-libs the ingredients, but typically there is a sweet element (pineapple, grapefruit, shaved white chocolate) that I find distasteful. She often asks if I make the recipe, and nearly chastises me for not having done so. What should I do? This also applies to a "stroganoff" recipe.

  1. Click to Upload a photo (10 MB limit)
  1. THAT'S a tough one!?! Would hope if I was "bragging" about a dish and DIDN'T see that it was not being relished... that somebody would tell me. NOT right there at table, but at some other time. If something is too salty/sweet, etc., I'd like to know... especially if "everybody" had same feelings.

    3 Replies
    1. re: kseiverd

      Ooh, this reminded me of a conversation me & hubby had over the holidays. Good friend made us (& others around the 'hood) a lemon pie. But she made it w/ the ingredients only SHE can eat (due to her allergies). In other words, she was pushing her special ingredients on us, therefore making us feel bad if we didn't like it (it was HORRID).

      Can't stand it when people push things; one more bite, one more helping, try this b/c everyone loves it. Um, no...we don't.

      1. re: chloebell

        I can't stand it when people push food once I've said" no, thanks," but I think the OP's situation is a little different. He (assuming Samuel is a guy) hasn't ever said a straightforward "no, I don't really care for that," to the recipe-pusher. That's where he should start.

        If the white chocolate chicken person (and may I add my own personal BLECCHH here?) doesn't get it, then her social skills are on a par with her culinary skills.

        1. re: Isolda

          Isolda, I totally agree with you. Once a person has politely said "no thank you," any further attempt on the other person's part to push food is rude.

          I have found that the less I say, the better. If I say "no thank you," without elaborating, I seem to get less pushback than if I start explaining, excusing, etc.

          People are weird!

    2. I can imagine that chicken and grapefruit may conceivably work (my other half does a wonderful prawn and pink grapefruit salad ) but white chocolate, really?

      It's difficult but how about something like; you know I'm quite a traditionalist when it comes to food and like classic recipes. I'm just not as adventurous as you are.

      1. I tell them, "Sorry, but I really didn't/don't care for it". For me, being honest isn't a radical concept, especially when it comes to food.

        11 Replies
        1. re: grampart

          Plus One...

          ...or when it comes to 'dear friends'

          1. re: Uncle Bob

            Agreed! It becomes more difficult when the question is, "How do I look?"

            1. re: grampart

              Or...."Does this dress make my ass look big?? Haha!!

                1. re: grampart

                  Ha! Ha! ~~~ Out of the park Home run!!!

                  1. re: grampart

                    My ex once made the mistake of asking me "does this dress make me look fat?" she was not happy with my answer.

                    1. re: PotatoHouse

                      My friend's brother's response to her for that was, "No, those jeans don't make you look fat. It's your FAT that makes you look fat." Brothers.

                    1. re: Uncle Bob

                      LOL!!!!!along with do you like my hair cut?

                      Unke....don't go their!!!

                      1. re: Uncle Bob

                        My husband's parody of that question is: Does my ass make this hat look big?

                        1. re: Isolda

                          I thought this story was kind of cute, but then I've never been "with child".

                          "When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy." "I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?""

                2. I might have the same friend, only her recipe motto is "you can never ever EVER have too much olive oil." While I like olive oil, I also like when my pores aren't leaking the stuff.

                  Anyway, I've found that the only thing to do is either go the coward's route of a "uh, sometimes, yeah, thanks did you see the news about that completely unrelated thing that I know will interest you and change the subject?!" or the brave route of "I haven't made it, it wasn't really to my taste, but thanks for thinking of me!"

                  The brave route is recommended.

                  1. "You know, I'm not a sweet and savory person."

                    "Stroganoff just isn't my thing, I'm afraid".

                    Maybe she just wants to talk about cooking in general and this is her (admittedly, kinda awkward) lead-in?. Try a "I didn't, Friend, it's not my thing, but if YOU are looking for a great cauliflower recipe, I tried ____ last week and really liked it."