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School bans triangular flapjacks due to health and safety.

Paprikaboy Mar 25, 2013 11:28 AM

Apparently sugary foods are not just bad for your waistline.
An Essex school have banned triangle shaped flapjacks after a child was hit in the face with the pointy treat.
They now have to be cut into a square.
You really couldn't make it up.


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  1. juliejulez RE: Paprikaboy Mar 25, 2013 12:51 PM

    Wouldn't a square cause just as much damage? 4 points instead of 3 even....

    5 Replies
    1. re: juliejulez
      INDIANRIVERFL RE: juliejulez Mar 25, 2013 01:52 PM

      You are so totally missing the influence of three point versus four point flight dynamics. Four points have increased drag yielding a shorter flight and less velocity at impact. Hence far safer in the average lunch room.

      No points is called a Frisbee.

      1. re: INDIANRIVERFL
        iluvcookies RE: INDIANRIVERFL Mar 27, 2013 06:26 AM

        Bazinga :)

        1. re: INDIANRIVERFL
          Servorg RE: INDIANRIVERFL Mar 28, 2013 07:33 AM

          I would probably be inclined to buy that if I hadn't spent a good portion of my misspent youth sailing "four pointed" collapsed cardboard popcorn boxes through the movie theaters near my house, all with the lethality of Ninja throwing stars.

          If there was one thing you learned never to do before the lights came up in the theater, it was to not turn around to look toward the rear of the house unless you wanted to get an eye put out by one of those bad boys...

          1. re: Servorg
            INDIANRIVERFL RE: Servorg Mar 28, 2013 02:34 PM

            Especially when delivered with an overhand wrist flick. As opposed to a frisbee sideways. Got to grasp a corner with the first knuckles of the index and social finger, with the long edge resting on the web between the fingers. Will sail and swoop for at least 5 rows.

            Or so I am told:-)

            1. re: INDIANRIVERFL
              sunshine842 RE: INDIANRIVERFL Mar 28, 2013 02:43 PM

              uh...you know...guys talk, you hear things.


      2. DuchessNukem RE: Paprikaboy Mar 25, 2013 01:13 PM

        Lol. I was reading "flapjack" as the U.S. pancake, not the sturdy-looking UK oaty bar pictured. I was thinking that was a hella pancake.

        I think we need a triangle/geometry expert to discuss angle of incidence of eye injury from 90 degree corners versus smaller angles.

        1. tcamp RE: Paprikaboy Mar 25, 2013 01:16 PM

          What is that thing? Flapjack equals pancake to me but apparently the UK definition differs? That food item looks more like a scone or biscuit.

          1 Reply
          1. re: tcamp
            paulj RE: tcamp Mar 25, 2013 02:11 PM

            The UK flapjack is closer to the American granola bar.

            (oats, butter and Golden Syrup)

            I've read elsewhere than UK authorities are concerned about the amount of sugar in these, and other, treats.

          2. scubadoo97 RE: Paprikaboy Mar 25, 2013 01:55 PM

            Don't square have points. 4 instead of 3.

            Maybe they should have only allowed round flapjacks

            6 Replies
            1. re: scubadoo97
              NE_Wombat RE: scubadoo97 Mar 25, 2013 04:45 PM

              Might still be dangerous if the edge is too thin. Better go with spherical.

              1. re: NE_Wombat
                EWSflash RE: NE_Wombat Apr 13, 2013 09:45 AM

                Or abelskivers only

              2. re: scubadoo97
                4X4 RE: scubadoo97 Mar 26, 2013 04:57 AM

                And square ones, like poptarts, can be turned into a gun shape, which might upset someone.

                1. re: 4X4
                  NE_Wombat RE: 4X4 Mar 26, 2013 07:59 AM

                  As this is about an issue in the UK, and they don't have an extreme gun problem, that seems unlikely.

                  1. re: NE_Wombat
                    Withnail42 RE: NE_Wombat Mar 28, 2013 06:54 AM

                    Perhaps that's because they've never had square flapjacks before.

                    1. re: Withnail42
                      sunshine842 RE: Withnail42 Mar 28, 2013 07:41 AM

                      but they *do* have square flapjacks -- they're square more often than not, IME.

              3. sunshine842 RE: Paprikaboy Mar 26, 2013 05:06 AM

                the safety elves have entirely too much time on their hands.

                2 Replies
                1. re: sunshine842
                  Servorg RE: sunshine842 Mar 26, 2013 05:50 AM

                  The safety elves are only running scared because of the lawyer trolls...

                  1. re: Servorg
                    sunshine842 RE: Servorg Mar 26, 2013 08:15 AM

                    I'd be curious to hear what injuries this child actually suffered...somehow I'm doubting blood loss or even bruising. Somehow I'm not seeing a piece of oatmeal in the eye as being a life-threatening emergency.

                    Pretty interesting that a former head of Elf 'n' Safety stopped just short (or found a nicer way to say) "are you fricking kidding me?"

                    I'd also be very, very interested to hear the repercussion for the flapjack tosser.

                    (and yes, for those of you in the UK, I know exactly what I said in the last sentence).

                2. ipsedixit RE: Paprikaboy Mar 26, 2013 08:07 AM

                  I guess no Doritos either ...

                  5 Replies
                  1. re: ipsedixit
                    Veggo RE: ipsedixit Mar 26, 2013 08:16 AM

                    So, I should scuttle my plan for blue corn ninja nacho throwing stars?

                    1. re: Veggo
                      sunshine842 RE: Veggo Mar 26, 2013 08:18 AM

                      is the ninja made of blue corn? :)

                      What does a ninja nacho look like?

                      1. re: sunshine842
                        Veggo RE: sunshine842 Mar 26, 2013 08:22 AM

                        It resembles a star fish topped with jalapenos and jack cheese and then run under the broiler.

                        1. re: Veggo
                          sunshine842 RE: Veggo Mar 26, 2013 10:53 AM

                          with a mask and a samurai, right? Because you didn't see anything....


                    2. re: ipsedixit
                      Paprikaboy RE: ipsedixit Mar 26, 2013 11:41 AM

                      You're right.
                      I can see them doing body and bag searches for any hidden toblerones.
                      A large one of those is going to sting!

                    3. Veggo RE: Paprikaboy Mar 27, 2013 03:19 PM

                      Maybe IHOP could fill this void by offering a short stack of buttermilk isosceles?

                      1. DoobieWah RE: Paprikaboy Apr 12, 2013 03:25 PM

                        Dear Parents,

                        It has recently come to or attention that many of you often cut your children's sandwiches along the diagonal axis. This can create a sharpened point and especially with toasted bread, might create a hazard.

                        Therefore, beginning on Monday, all sandwiches MUST be cut along either the vertical or horizontal axis and NEVER along the diagonal.

                        Any child producing a diagonally cut sandwich will be immediately suspended from school and will receive a mark on their permanent record!

                        We appreciate your cooperation in making our indoctrination centers, (errrr, I mean "Schools"), a safer environment.


                        Your Child's Principal

                        1 Reply
                        1. re: DoobieWah
                          Kris in Beijing RE: DoobieWah Apr 12, 2013 03:46 PM

                          Please see the following insert for this year's school fundraiser:

                          The Gourmet Chef Kut'n'Seel
                          Make crust-free pocket sandwiches for your kids!
                          Simply place filling between 2 slices of bread, then press down on the Kut'n'Seel.

                          Each Kut'n'Seel is $25 with profits going to the school and the Lioness Club's Glass Eye Foundation.

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