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Feeling guilty for comped food?

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acetaminophen Mar 3, 2013 09:24 AM

I'm feeling confused after a recent restaurant experience. The entire experience was such a bizarre intersection of high expectations for the food, sitting in a weird corner in the restaurant, and the kitchen making an honest mistake on a busy night. Emotions are still running high and it's difficult for me to figure out how I should feel after all of this...

My significant other and I ordered our drinks, appetizers, entrees, and dessert all at once because we knew what we wanted. Our cocktails arrive with minimal wait, but I start to get worried when the couple seated next to us, who arrived a few minutes after us, received their appetizers before us (and one of the appetizers they ordered was what we had asked for). I notice that the waitress who took our order is also making drinks behind the bar, and several other waitstaff are bringing food to the tables near us.

45 minutes later, we are angry and hungry and getting tipsy from sipping our cocktails with no food, so my significant other gets up from his seat to find our waitress, with no success. A waiter comes by to tell us the kitchen is backed up and offered us free glasses of wine--we refused because we typically don't drink wine. A few minutes later, a different waitress comes over and tells us the kitchen is backed up. I point out that the couple next to us had already finished eating their entrees. The waitress apologizes again and leaves. Our appetizer finally arrives (hand-cut calamari pan-fried with jalapenos and garlic--pretty good). While we are eating, the second waitress (not the one who took our order) comes by with a huge bowl of shoestring fries on the house. We eat a few, but they are unseasoned, and we leave the bowl pretty much untouched on the table. Our original waitress finally swings by again to tell us what we've heard before: she apologizes for the kitchen being backed up. I ask her why other tables who ordered at the same time as us are already done with their meals. She admits that our ticket fell somewhere...

So now we knew that the kitchen made a mistake that set the tone for the evening. On the one hand, it's understandable that mishaps like that are common in a busy kitchen, but for the customer, it's just bad service. Why did no one notice that we were sitting, waiting at our tables with no food close to an hour? If we hadn't gotten up to inquire about our meal, would the kitchen ever had noticed? Was it because we were sitting in the far front corner of the restaurant? While we were waiting, my significant other and I even thought that maybe we looked too young so the waitstaff didn't think we were worth their time. We just had no idea what was going on.

By the end of the meal, we'd received shoestring fries, two glasses of wine, and an extra dessert on the house. The food was good, but not stellar. When we got our check, everything but our entrees were comped. I was confused--and still am--because is free food supposed to make up for an honest mistake or bad service? I understand that what happened could not be righted without going back in time, and the free food did make us feel better, but.. I also feel guilty. Were we supposed to tip generously enough to cover what was comped? Is it wrong for me to still feel like it was an overall bad experience that particular night? Am I overthinking all of this?

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  1. foodieX2 RE: acetaminophen Mar 3, 2013 10:01 AM

    What did you want them to do instead, other than not messing up in the first place?

    If the service had been stellar and it was just a kitchen mistake than yes I would have tipped on the comped food. In your case it was a server mistake, not kitchen a one and I would have tipped accordingly but would have also spoken to manager/owner on the way out to let them know why.

    I am curious why you waited 45 minutes before saying anything? As soon as I saw the table next to mine getting their appetizers I would done something. And since the tables right next you were getting their food in a timely manner I doubt it had anything to do with where you were located.

    2 Replies
    1. re: foodieX2
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      acetaminophen RE: foodieX2 Mar 3, 2013 10:31 AM

      That's why I'm confused. Comped food, I guess, is the best that restaurants can do when they mess up.

      We waited 45 minutes for a few reasons. We thought that our food would be coming out shortly, so we just kept talking and lost track of time. We also thought that maybe one of the several waiters and waitresses would notice that we had been sitting there for so long--but not even our original waitress noticed. When we finally decided to say something, it was impossible to flag anyone down so we had to get up and search for someone to talk to.

      1. re: foodieX2
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        Jeanne RE: foodieX2 Apr 6, 2013 06:02 PM

        foodiex2 - it was not just a server's mistake. They finally admitted that their ticket had been lost.

      2. pikawicca RE: acetaminophen Mar 3, 2013 10:06 AM

        This sort of thing seems to be happening more and more. Used to be that restaurants had Front of House managers to prevent incidents like this. Have they all been sacked in an attempt to save money?

        2 Replies
        1. re: pikawicca
          Veggo RE: pikawicca Mar 3, 2013 10:12 AM

          Pika, you reminded me of my grandfather's counsel: "the shortcut is the long way home".

          1. re: pikawicca
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            acetaminophen RE: pikawicca Mar 3, 2013 10:38 AM

            We were pretty surprised because the restaurant is well-known and recommended by friends.

          2. g
            GH1618 RE: acetaminophen Mar 3, 2013 10:20 AM

            Yes, you are overthinking it. Mistakes were made. You had a bad experience. The restaurant made a gesture to compensate, to some extent, but they can't turn back the clock and start over.

            Such is life. Move on.

            1 Reply
            1. re: GH1618
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              acetaminophen RE: GH1618 Mar 3, 2013 10:35 AM

              True. I just had high expectations, I guess, so it's hard let go.

            2. cookie monster RE: acetaminophen Mar 3, 2013 11:23 AM

              Your post reminded me of the worst service experience of my restaurant going life, which occurred about 6 months ago at a well-regarded modern American, farm-to-table type place. Busy Saturday night, party of 3. Suffice it to say that the service went from inattentive and distracted to a whole other level of bad - bizarre, inappropriate, get this person away from our table bad. Bottom line is that when the owner/manager realized what was going on, he took over serving us himself and then comped our entire bill - a couple cocktails, a bottle of wine, apps and entrees (the food, btw, when we finally got it was excellent). We actually protested to him that that was too much and he should at least let us pay for the wine. He said no, what had happened to us was inexcusable and he wanted to take care of everything. We then debated amongst ourselves over what to tip, and ultimately concluded that even though our server was terrible, we didn't want to punish the bus boys, bartenders, etc. so we tipped 15% on what the bill would have been. Still feeling guilty about the comp, a few days later I emailed the owner/manager to thank him again for going above and beyond. He wrote back promptly, apologizing again and saying he hoped we would come back and he would take extra special care of us. I haven't been back to the restaurant yet because it's several cities away, but I will happily return the next time I'm in the area. No that's customer service.

              1. n
                Nayners RE: acetaminophen Apr 5, 2013 07:10 PM

                I will lean toward overthinking, probably because I understand that things happen, especially in a busy restaurant. If it seems like they are trying to make me happy, I'm fine. But I do feel that they should have comped the entire order. I'd tip based on my original order because it wasn't the fault of the waitress.

                Beyond that, I'd just move on. Bigger things happen in life that will take it's toll on us. So forget about it.

                1. s
                  sueatmo RE: acetaminophen Apr 5, 2013 08:54 PM

                  When you feel you want to, I'd return, maybe for lunch. Order again, and see if they do a nice job. If they don't, then you know the restaurant has problems.

                  I agree that the manager should have come forward and made things happen for you when it became obvious you didn't have food.

                  Perhaps he was sick that night. Or not.

                  1. e
                    escondido123 RE: acetaminophen Apr 5, 2013 10:30 PM

                    I believe you are overthinking this. The restaurant screwed up and did their best to make up for it. You mentioned you were young, so maybe this was a major evening for you and that makes this more difficult. Over time this will happen once in awhile and each person has to decide how long to wait before they say something. If it upsets you for long afterward, maybe that means you have to speak up sooner so your evening--and days after--are not ruined.

                    1. t
                      treb RE: acetaminophen Apr 6, 2013 06:43 AM

                      Comping is a way to make up for mishaps and disasters such as yours. I generally refuse comping 'cus I don't want to feel like I've accepted their offer in lieu of what I was supposed to receive. I'm also surprised they didn't comp you the entree's as it took way too long to get them.

                      1. h
                        Harters RE: acetaminophen Apr 6, 2013 07:50 AM

                        I have never been comped anything in a restaurant. But, if I ever did receive something in circumstances as described by the OP, I would not feel guilty. It is entirely a matter for the restaurant how they respond to issues such as this - it can vary from doing nothing (see my opening sentence) to comping the entire meal.

                        1. w
                          wyogal RE: acetaminophen Apr 6, 2013 08:22 AM

                          You are over thinking it. It was a bad night, they comped you, no need to feel guilty about their mistakes.
                          Not sure if I would tip on the whole total though, considering how bad the service was. No, it was not just the kitchen's fault. Your server neglected you. and blamed the kitchen, which had its own issues, as well.

                          1. Cheflambo RE: acetaminophen Apr 7, 2013 01:17 PM

                            Comp food is about all they can do. Ignoring you, or returning over and over with the same excuse is tacky, and should be reflected in the gratuity. But never, EVER feel guilty about a comped item on your bill.

                            1. westsidegal RE: acetaminophen Apr 7, 2013 04:54 PM

                              no need to feel guilty.
                              the restaurant's service was not up to snuff.
                              the comping was their way of acknowledging this.

                              1. b
                                beevod RE: acetaminophen Apr 8, 2013 07:27 AM

                                Guilt is for criminals.

                                1. LindaWhit RE: acetaminophen Apr 8, 2013 07:35 AM

                                  No need to feel guilty. Your experience at the restaurant was unpleasant; so they comped you to help (hopefully) mitigate the unpleasantness. That's all.

                                  1. rockandroller1 RE: acetaminophen Apr 8, 2013 11:03 AM

                                    You have to remember too that both kitchen and server can make a mistake, and the server is much less likely to fall on his or her sword than to blame an error on "the kitchen," as you can't dock the kitchen's tip or blame the server if it's "the kitchen" that screwed up. Yes, it's true - servers will lie to save their tip and say the kitchen forgot it, dropped it, the chef had to leave suddenly for a family emergency, whatever they have to say to save face at the table and try to keep their tip while running back to the kitchen, begging, apologizing and asking them to "fly table 36's order" because they forgot to ring it in.

                                    Anyway, never feel bad for comp'd food and you don't have to tip on it.

                                    1. j
                                      josephnl RE: acetaminophen Apr 8, 2013 03:50 PM

                                      No need to feel guilty. We had dinner last evening at a dependably excellent restaurant, and just happened to hit it on an off night. Two of the four of us were served entrees that were barely lukewarm, and even after sending them back twice, they were still lukewarm. The restaurant is known for very high quality meat, and one of us was served lamb that was more than 50% fat...a previously unknown experience in this restaurant. We asked for a manager to report these failings...not because we were looking for anything, but because we really thought he would want to know. He was extremely gracious, and thanked us for calling these things to his intention. He insisted that we all have desserts "on the house", and when we received our bill, these were indeed comped, as well as the unsatisfactory entrees. We left the restaurant disappointed that we did not have the fine dinner we had expected, but will definitely return because we know that this was a fluke, and also because the management handled it perfectly.

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