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37 People Who Are Worse at Cooking Than You

juliejulez Feb 12, 2013 04:07 PM

Whenever you make a bad dish, just read this to make yourself feel better:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/rachelysander...

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    Spartanguy RE: juliejulez Feb 12, 2013 11:48 PM

    How do you set pasta on fire?

    9 Replies
    1. re: Spartanguy
      c
      chileheadmike RE: Spartanguy Feb 13, 2013 11:08 AM

      And why do you take a picture of it instead of putting it out?

      1. re: chileheadmike
        k
        Kontxesi RE: chileheadmike Feb 13, 2013 11:19 AM

        We are in the age of Instagram and Twitter! Pics or it didn't happen. ;)

        1. re: Kontxesi
          scubadoo97 RE: Kontxesi Feb 13, 2013 01:56 PM

          Or how to get a lot of hits by posting a staged mess? Don't put it past some and if you've ever watched Tosh you know that to get some attention people will do some pretty amazingly dumb things

          1. re: scubadoo97
            ttoommyy RE: scubadoo97 Feb 13, 2013 01:59 PM

            I thought the exact same thing when I looked at many of them.

            1. re: scubadoo97
              ttoommyy RE: scubadoo97 Feb 13, 2013 02:00 PM

              What is #1 supposed to be? I'm mesmerized by it!

              1. re: ttoommyy
                scubadoo97 RE: ttoommyy Feb 13, 2013 06:34 PM

                I had a flash back

                1. re: ttoommyy
                  s
                  seamunky RE: ttoommyy Feb 14, 2013 01:13 AM

                  I think #1 is rainbow cake in a jar

                  http://www.tablespoon.com/recipes/rai...

                  1. re: seamunky
                    ttoommyy RE: seamunky Feb 14, 2013 06:00 AM

                    Thanks seamunky. Now I'm mesmerized by THOSE! So colorful, so cheesy, so cool!

          2. re: Spartanguy
            c
            cgarner RE: Spartanguy Feb 15, 2013 10:13 AM

            if you have a gas stove, and the flame is on high, and you don't push the pasta into the water, but instead let it hang over the side of the pot, the flames will heat up the dry pasta hanging over and thusly they will combust and burst into flames
            (not that I have experienced that first hand or anything..)
            wink wink, nod nod

          3. c
            cresyd RE: juliejulez Feb 13, 2013 12:32 AM

            Those pizza photos are amazing.

            1. Tripeler RE: juliejulez Feb 13, 2013 12:42 AM

              I looked at the article and in a way it is a bit sad -- seeing the misfortunes of others as a way to make yourself feel better.

              4 Replies
              1. re: Tripeler
                iluvcookies RE: Tripeler Feb 13, 2013 04:57 AM

                This doesn't make me feel better, but I am surprised at what happens. I'm not laughing, but I do think WTF? How did they think this wsa a good idea? And why take a picture of it?

                1. re: Tripeler
                  LindaWhit RE: Tripeler Feb 13, 2013 11:42 AM

                  I don't "feel better" - but I *do* think "WTH were they thinking putting plastic under the cookies in the oven? And I *am* laughing - if people put these pics up there for all to see, they know they weren't the brightest bulbs in the box to have gone wrong in their cooking.

                  1. re: Tripeler
                    juliejulez RE: Tripeler Feb 13, 2013 12:59 PM

                    Lighten up, it's supposed to be funny :)

                    1. re: Tripeler
                      ttoommyy RE: Tripeler Feb 13, 2013 01:37 PM

                      "I looked at the article and in a way it is a bit sad -- seeing the misfortunes of others as a way to make yourself feel better."

                      These people all probably posted these pictures themselves for a laugh. These cooking "accidents" are not misfortunes; they are mistakes. No one need feel sad or bad for chuckling at them.

                    2. PotatoHouse RE: juliejulez Feb 13, 2013 03:53 AM

                      At least one of those HAD to be my first ex-wife!!

                      1. iluvcookies RE: juliejulez Feb 13, 2013 04:55 AM

                        Oh dear lord... even before I learned to cook I never did anything that bad.
                        I know some boxed pizzas say to put them directly on the oven rack, but the pictures here show exactly why I never do it.

                        1. DuchessNukem RE: juliejulez Feb 13, 2013 04:59 AM

                          Lol. Wonderful. I have personally done variants on both the cupcakes and the micro spaghetti squash.

                          1. k
                            Kontxesi RE: juliejulez Feb 13, 2013 06:35 AM

                            With those pizzas... I wonder if they let them thaw before putting them in the oven?

                            But those smores cookies. I could see that happening to me.

                            2 Replies
                            1. re: Kontxesi
                              c
                              CanadaGirl RE: Kontxesi Feb 14, 2013 11:40 AM

                              I can't figure out why the s'mores failed so colossally...

                              1. re: CanadaGirl
                                Jacquilynne RE: CanadaGirl Feb 14, 2013 11:52 AM

                                It seems like the cookie dough didn't have enough structure to hold the graham cracker in place once the marshmallow got slippery. The top wafer slid off to the side and took the cookie dough on top of it and the marshmallows with it. So then it was just kind of a molten lump with chocolate in the middle of it.

                            2. k
                              kengk RE: juliejulez Feb 13, 2013 06:44 AM

                              Hilarious but some of those look pretty tasty. The Smore and the melted cheese balls for two.

                              1 Reply
                              1. re: kengk
                                sunshine842 RE: kengk Feb 14, 2013 07:16 AM

                                yep-- sometimes it tastes good, even if it's not very pretty....

                              2. r
                                rasputina RE: juliejulez Feb 13, 2013 06:49 AM

                                wow, those are horrid.

                                As for the pizzas, they either thawed them first or put them in a cold oven not a preheated one. I've never had a problem cooking frozen pizza directly on the rack. But you have to put it in a preheated oven and it has to be fully frozen when you do.

                                The cookies with the weird melted goo freaked me out.

                                1. JerryMe RE: juliejulez Feb 13, 2013 10:55 AM

                                  Ok - I feel MUCH, MUCH better about my cooking skills, now. Thanks for sharing that JulieJulez! The clean up alone! Like the cookie sheet that melted in the oven!?! I think the stove would be a goner.

                                  8 Replies
                                  1. re: JerryMe
                                    k
                                    Kontxesi RE: JerryMe Feb 13, 2013 11:20 AM

                                    Was that even a cookie sheet? How does that even happen?

                                    1. re: Kontxesi
                                      sunshine842 RE: Kontxesi Feb 14, 2013 07:17 AM

                                      I think it was the plastic tray that the pieces of cookie dough were in when they were bought.

                                      (but where the disconnect between hot oven=melted plastic happens is beyond me...)

                                      1. re: sunshine842
                                        ttoommyy RE: sunshine842 Feb 14, 2013 08:31 AM

                                        "(but where the disconnect between hot oven=melted plastic happens is beyond me...)"

                                        The plastic trays that Lean Cuisine frozen meals come in go into the oven.

                                        1. re: ttoommyy
                                          sunshine842 RE: ttoommyy Feb 14, 2013 08:51 AM

                                          but those aren't translucent, nor do they include any instructions to place cookies on a cookie sheet.

                                          (sorry, maybe I'm leaning toward the tin-hat club, but I try not to put plastic in the oven)

                                          1. re: sunshine842
                                            ttoommyy RE: sunshine842 Feb 14, 2013 08:57 AM

                                            ...nor do they include any instructions to place cookies on a cookie sheet."

                                            Not everyone reads instructions, hence the 37 mistakes in the link the OP has provided. :)

                                            1. re: ttoommyy
                                              sunshine842 RE: ttoommyy Feb 14, 2013 10:07 AM

                                              yes, but at some point one would think that "plastic+heat=mess" would enter someone's mind.

                                              But having worked in a lot of technical support departments (for consumer and industrial goods), you really cannot ever assume that people will ever use that spongy thing sloshing around in their skull.

                                              1. re: sunshine842
                                                ttoommyy RE: sunshine842 Feb 14, 2013 10:11 AM

                                                I use my brain all the time but it occasionally backfires on me. Not so much in the kitchen but other areas of the house. I can see people doing many of the things on that list. We all make mistakes and bad judgment calls.

                                                1. re: sunshine842
                                                  512window RE: sunshine842 Feb 15, 2013 05:18 PM

                                                  While making me Mothers Day breakfast in bed one year, my two kids achieved something very similar to this one. They made me toast but they had only cooked things in the microwave before. You always put your food on a plate in the microwave. So they opened the toaster oven, put in a plastic plate, put the bread on the plate, and started it up.

                                                  I took a picture too! This was well before pinterist and facebook so it must be a universal human reaction.

                                    2. v
                                      Violatp RE: juliejulez Feb 13, 2013 11:05 AM

                                      Huh. I just called myself a serviceable cook to someone. I'm going back to them and UPGRADING.

                                      1. LindaWhit RE: juliejulez Feb 13, 2013 11:40 AM

                                        I'm just sitting at my desk snort-giggling right now!

                                        1. r
                                          ricepad RE: juliejulez Feb 13, 2013 11:47 AM

                                          Picture 30 might actually be intentional...might be tempura shiso.

                                          1. Chemicalkinetics RE: juliejulez Feb 13, 2013 01:47 PM

                                            Some of them aren't really that bad like the video of "3". As far as I can tell, the handle came off with no fault from the cook. Is number 18 that bad? It worked. I thought number 36 is very artistic.

                                            1 Reply
                                            1. re: Chemicalkinetics
                                              tcamp RE: Chemicalkinetics Feb 15, 2013 06:15 AM

                                              Yeah, #3 happened to a roommate of mine. I particularly like that two overflowing trash cans in that video.

                                            2. suzigirl RE: juliejulez Feb 13, 2013 02:47 PM

                                              Wow. Those are some epic fails. Man do I think that was great for my ego

                                              1. c
                                                celesul RE: juliejulez Feb 13, 2013 10:41 PM

                                                So, you see, you're *assuming* that everyone should know better than this.

                                                ...I could see my mom managing many of these mishaps...

                                                1. s
                                                  seamunky RE: juliejulez Feb 14, 2013 01:11 AM

                                                  #19 electric tea kettle on the gas stove has got to be the worst!

                                                  1 Reply
                                                  1. re: seamunky
                                                    c
                                                    cresyd RE: seamunky Feb 14, 2013 01:12 AM

                                                    When I was 5 or so, I tried to boil water by putting it into a metal tea kettle and putting that into the microwave.

                                                    Lesson learned!

                                                  2. Lillipop RE: juliejulez Feb 14, 2013 01:43 AM

                                                    What was the person smoking who did #19 the electric plastic tea kettle on top of a stove burner? Impressive:)

                                                    1. i
                                                      INDIANRIVERFL RE: juliejulez Feb 14, 2013 09:02 AM

                                                      Be honest, please.

                                                      I counted 19 that I have emulated so far in my cooking.

                                                      11 Replies
                                                      1. re: INDIANRIVERFL
                                                        ttoommyy RE: INDIANRIVERFL Feb 14, 2013 09:18 AM

                                                        I can honestly say I have NEVER done any of those things. I have had a cupcake mistake or two, but nothing that comes close to anything depicted in that link.

                                                        1. re: ttoommyy
                                                          LindaWhit RE: ttoommyy Feb 14, 2013 10:05 AM

                                                          Agreed.

                                                          Although I am rather impressed at the atom bomb pizza.

                                                          1. re: LindaWhit
                                                            i
                                                            INDIANRIVERFL RE: LindaWhit Feb 14, 2013 10:18 AM

                                                            I freely admit to turning on an oven and forgetting the tupperware stored there. Making pasta in the dorms in a coffee pot, watching superlong pasta ignite, misshapen individual key lime pies that I tried to mold with tin foil as I do not own a muffin pan.

                                                            You have never inadvertently left the rice on and made rice cakes, or pasta cakes for that matter? Or carbonised anything? Never had an attempt to replicate or improve on a dish that didn't come out as expected?

                                                            In my 45 plus years of cooking, I am amazed that I have done so few.

                                                            1. re: INDIANRIVERFL
                                                              LindaWhit RE: INDIANRIVERFL Feb 14, 2013 10:47 AM

                                                              The only thing I can recall carbonizing / melting is a 3 qt. Farberware pot. I forgot to put the water into the bottom when I put in a steamer to steam broccoli or green beans. Turned on the heat, went into the computer, and a bit later, smelled the melting stainless steel on hot electric coils. Luckily, it just went into the drip tray and on the coil. All easily replaced. And technically, no food was harmed in the melting of the pot.

                                                              The only thing that are stored in my oven are the racks and the pizza stone. :-)

                                                              1. re: INDIANRIVERFL
                                                                ttoommyy RE: INDIANRIVERFL Feb 14, 2013 11:33 AM

                                                                " Never had an attempt to replicate or improve on a dish that didn't come out as expected?"

                                                                That is a lot different than most of the 37 examples shown in the link.

                                                                1. re: ttoommyy
                                                                  i
                                                                  INDIANRIVERFL RE: ttoommyy Feb 14, 2013 12:22 PM

                                                                  Very true. I am specifically thinking of the variations on smores. And I remember somebody adding the liquid to the dry fudge in a jar to the jar and putting it in the oven.

                                                                  If I can't laugh at myself, who can I laugh at?

                                                          2. re: INDIANRIVERFL
                                                            Chemicalkinetics RE: INDIANRIVERFL Feb 14, 2013 01:08 PM

                                                            I have done many, but they didn't fail like those in the link.

                                                            I have flipped foods like #3, but my handle never came off.
                                                            I have directly baked pizza on racks as #5-#7, but they never melted like the way they did.
                                                            I have made a mess of my waffle iron, but probably nowhere like #17
                                                            I am sure I have set foods on fire like #20, but I cannot remember what or when
                                                            Exploding microwave I have done (#25, #26)

                                                            1. re: Chemicalkinetics
                                                              k
                                                              kengk RE: Chemicalkinetics Feb 14, 2013 03:56 PM

                                                              I have cooked a frozen pizza with the cardboard circle still under it and roasted a turkey with the plastic bag of giblets still inside.

                                                              Neither caused too much problem.

                                                              1. re: kengk
                                                                alliegator RE: kengk Feb 15, 2013 12:27 PM

                                                                I've done pizza with the cardboard on the bottom, too.
                                                                And I've melted he bottom of a bottle of chinese five spice to a burner, then picked it up and it went everywhere. Every time I use my dustbuster, you can still smell it.

                                                                1. re: alliegator
                                                                  sunshine842 RE: alliegator Feb 15, 2013 03:05 PM

                                                                  oh, yes - the mistake that never lets you forget it.

                                                            2. re: INDIANRIVERFL
                                                              Bryan Pepperseed RE: INDIANRIVERFL Feb 15, 2013 04:10 AM

                                                              I don't own a waffle iron, so about three for me:

                                                              1) Electric burners left on low by accident can leave some nice grooves in plastic items ..... in my case, the bottom of my favorite colander.
                                                              2) Discovered not long ago that even already baked (and cut open) potatoes can explode in the microwave when reheating.
                                                              3) While not as severe, I can testify that even after starting a pizza on a stone at the bottom of the oven, "minor blowouts" can still occasionally occur if you try to achieve "top browning" by transferring it to the top rack under the broiler too soon.

                                                            3. TroyTempest RE: juliejulez Feb 14, 2013 10:09 AM

                                                              Is Sandra Lee's Kwanzaa cake in there?

                                                              1. Jacquilynne RE: juliejulez Feb 14, 2013 11:04 AM

                                                                I will have them know that I have *totally* cooked pasta in a coffee maker and it works just fine, thank you very much. The person in that picture is doing it wrong -- you have to break the spaghetti in half first. It works even better for Ramen.

                                                                2 Replies
                                                                1. re: Jacquilynne
                                                                  Veggo RE: Jacquilynne Feb 14, 2013 04:18 PM

                                                                  Can you next mix in an alfredo sauce?

                                                                  1. re: Veggo
                                                                    Jacquilynne RE: Veggo Feb 14, 2013 04:24 PM

                                                                    That I have not tried. But it actually seems like it'd probably work okay. Though in the era in which I cooked things in coffee pots, alfredo sauce would not really have been in the family repertoire.

                                                                2. goodhealthgourmet RE: juliejulez Feb 14, 2013 07:45 PM

                                                                  My dear sister is an extremely smart & successful woman, but she's pretty hopeless in the kitchen. When she was in college she hosted a study group, and she decided to "make" cinnamon rolls for her guests. She bought the refrigerated Pillsbury ones, opened the can but *didn't* remove the rolls, set the can on a cookie sheet, and put it in the preheated oven...

                                                                  1 Reply
                                                                  1. re: goodhealthgourmet
                                                                    scubadoo97 RE: goodhealthgourmet Feb 15, 2013 01:29 AM

                                                                    I guess for some the brain shuts down when being asked to cook

                                                                  2. c
                                                                    cgarner RE: juliejulez Feb 15, 2013 10:17 AM

                                                                    I give an "A" for effort to the skillet potato, cheese, ham, sour cream, gold fish dish with some sort of flecks of freshly cracked pepper (or some sort of seasoning blend from McCormicks) on top
                                                                    it reminds me of a 50's homemaker type of dish

                                                                    3 Replies
                                                                    1. re: cgarner
                                                                      ttoommyy RE: cgarner Feb 15, 2013 11:38 AM

                                                                      "it reminds me of a 50's homemaker type of dish"

                                                                      Check out this site!
                                                                      http://www.lileks.com/institute/galle...

                                                                      1. re: ttoommyy
                                                                        iluvcookies RE: ttoommyy Feb 15, 2013 11:50 AM

                                                                        Oh ttoommyy... I own a few of Lilek's books. They have me rolling on the floor.

                                                                        1. re: iluvcookies
                                                                          ttoommyy RE: iluvcookies Feb 15, 2013 12:38 PM

                                                                          I can read those things over and over again and cry laughing every time!

                                                                    2. alliegator RE: juliejulez Feb 15, 2013 12:20 PM

                                                                      I just actually had to wipe away a laugh-tear. Omg, just what the...?! How?!

                                                                      I don't know what it says about me that I take so much glee in the misfortune of others. Bwahaha!

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