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Do you trust someone else to grocery shop for you?

MidwesternerTT Jan 18, 2013 09:05 AM

I'm ill but we're almost out of milk & OJ so I've just convinced my spouse to go to the grocery store with a detailed printed list of 15 items I'd planned to get for menus this week, created using the store's online shopping site (brand, package size and price are all included).

I figure with us aging, grocery shopping and knowing where favorite items are located in the store is a skill that both of us should have.

I'm expecting to get back one bag with OJ & milk and frozen dinners.

Do you share your grocery shopping workload with a friend, spouse, or shopping service? What are the secrets for success?

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  1. melpy RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 18, 2013 09:08 AM

    I have had success sending someone out for one or two items but I have sent anyone with a whole list. Not even my fiancé. He can make his own list and I can add something specific: Nature's Promise Organic Skim milk 1/2 gallon but otherwise I make lists and do shopping.

    3 Replies
    1. re: melpy
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      Kontxesi RE: melpy Jan 26, 2014 11:01 AM

      My experience as well. I do the important, detailed shopping myself. My fiance can do it if I only need garlic, thyme, and Sprite, like today. I'll report back if he manages to mess that one up. :p

      1. re: Kontxesi
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        James Cristinian RE: Kontxesi Jan 26, 2014 11:26 AM

        Mexican Sprite? It's the best. Garlic, the wifeacita is very picky about hers.

        1. re: James Cristinian
          k
          Kontxesi RE: James Cristinian Jan 26, 2014 11:43 AM

          No... Diet Sprite. :\ I quit soda a while ago, and then relapsed and started drinking it daily again.... I'm trying to switch to diet and then wean off. I know it's terrible for me.

          He LOVES Mexican coke, though. For taco night, I always grab myself a pineapple Jarritos and him a Mexican coke.

    2. Perilagu Khan RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 18, 2013 09:10 AM

      The Khantessa and I split the shopping. We each get a list, go our separate ways in the store, and rendezvous at an assigned point once we're done. Her list features produce, health foods and pet paraphernalia. Mine has everything else.

      This approach saves time, if nothing else.

      1. PotatoHouse RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 18, 2013 09:14 AM

        The only time my wife does the shopping is when she is going to do the cooking (if I'm sick or away on business), so she buys what she wants. Otherwise I usually do all the shopping. I'm picky about brands and such, so it is hard for me to trust anyone else to do the shopping for me.

        1. foodieX2 RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 18, 2013 09:28 AM

          I have used PeaPod in the past but only for "known" commodities. ie: boxed pasta, deli meat, cereal, milk and other dairy, cannnd goods etc. I never trusted them fruit, veggies, meat and poultry.

          My husband and I both do the regular shopping. However if I am making a special meal I do it myself. He does not not how to substitute fi they don't have a specific item.

          1. bagelman01 RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 18, 2013 09:32 AM

            NO, I've been disappointed anytime I allowed spouse (current or former) kids or friends to grocery shop, particularly when it comes to choosing meat and poultry.

            1 Reply
            1. re: bagelman01
              pinehurst RE: bagelman01 Jan 18, 2013 10:30 AM

              I agree with this. I only trusted my (late) Mom, who was even more discerning than I am.

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              INDIANRIVERFL RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 18, 2013 09:34 AM

              Since I did all the cooking when married, I did 98% of the purchasing and planning. Usually in that order. Specials, seasonal offerings, and new items meant that I created our meal plan based on what was in the store that day.

              So no, because I get so much fun out of being in the store.

              1. iluvcookies RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 18, 2013 09:37 AM

                It's kind of hard to trust others to shop for me, outside of small specific things (eggs, milk, cereal etc.) DH won't take advantage of a sale on boneless chicken or canned goods that we use often because he isn't the cook in the house. Sometimes you just don't know until you get to the store if a sale item will be worth it, especially with meats.
                And because I know what is in the pantry to a much greater extent than anyone else, it's just easier for me to shop.

                Plus, I once sent DH out for milk and tomatoes and he brought back soda and Entenmann's donuts.

                1. dave_c RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 18, 2013 09:41 AM

                  My answer is yes.
                  We shop together about 1/3 of the time. The other 2/3 is who has the time.

                  The secret to success is creating a list and knowing preferences. For example, Best Foods mayo only! I was talked to decades ago and I still remember. lol

                  1. alliegator RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 18, 2013 09:44 AM

                    Nope, I do not. But as the non-working member of the household, it is naturally my responsibility. But food and cooking is a hobby for me, and the mr. would never dream of sending me to the bicycle store to pick up a few things for him.

                    1. MidwesternerTT RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 18, 2013 10:29 AM

                      Thanks, all. And next time I'm ill we'll just use the store's shopping service (so lucky to have that option!) and have spouse drive thru to pick it up.

                      It will be better for our budget, even with the service fee, and also our relationship. Spouse's reaction to the experience "Too many choices."

                      No extras came home, but only 5 items - including the milk & OJ - got bought. None of the fresh meat or produce was purchased. 4 out of 5 were different flavors than listed, 2 out of 5 were different brands. Not using the one coupon sent along and also the brand substitutions cost us 30% more for the 5 items. I guess it's good that the whole list didn't get bought!

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                        treb RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 18, 2013 11:14 AM

                        Only when sick and out of commission.

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                          Mother of four RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 18, 2013 11:15 AM

                          Good luck! LOL. I can grantee that when DH goes he will never return with what I requested. Even if it's just milk,he will manage to return with the wrong precent or the wrong size.Since you are ill you don't really have much of a choice though.

                          1 Reply
                          1. re: Mother of four
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                            James Cristinian RE: Mother of four Jan 24, 2014 10:06 AM

                            The wifeacita was going to the store and I asked for some skim milk. She gets home, sans milk. No skim milk she says, only fat free. Oh.

                          2. Will Owen RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 18, 2013 11:36 AM

                            Mrs. O does not cook much anymore, but once in a while we'll do some recreational grocery shopping, usually at one of the big San Gabriel Valley Asian markets. If I am totally incapacitated, as I was for two weeks a few years ago, she will do some basic shopping and cooking, but it's not really fun for her as it is for me. I seem to recall that when I had that weird flu I got fed an awful lot of miso soup, but that was fine with me!

                            1. j
                              jlhinwa RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 18, 2013 12:08 PM

                              Mr. jlh is happy to shop for the family and can be quite competent when so inclined (meaning he has the time and patience). He tends to make his own decisions about what is truly necessary and what can be substituted without asking me so if I have very specific needs, I will do it myself. If it is a general, stock-up-the-pantry-and-household-goods type of trip, I will have him do it. He often jokes that "men can't remember more than 3 things" so asking him to grab a few specific items on an errand he is already running is risky. Funny, you would think that texting a list would work but he seems to still have that mental block problem. :-)

                              1. juliejulez RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 18, 2013 01:06 PM

                                I don't think I'd trust my SO but I'd trust my best friend and my mom. Both of them are healthy cookers/eaters so they would know the kinds of things I look for, although my best friend would probably spend too much as she isn't as diligent about finding sales etc. My SO is totally clueless so unless it was for very very basic things I don't think I'd really want him doing the shopping. He also gets annoyed in the supermarket so I'd be worried he'd skip buying stuff just in order to leave the store faster LOL

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                                  small h RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 18, 2013 02:19 PM

                                  Big H & I often pick things up for one another, and we've been together long enough that we get it right most of the time. He knows to buy V8 in the big can (not the plastic bottle), and I know to buy regular Saltines (not the whole grain or the unsalted tops). Being boring and predictable seems to serve us well.

                                  That said, I wouldn't trust anyone to buy my produce or fresh seafood. In fact, if I'm having a spaced-out day or pissed-off day, I don't even trust myself.

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                                    Tovflu RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 19, 2013 07:48 AM

                                    My initial reaction was 'heck no ' but I realize that's a bit of an exaggeration. I (usually) trust him to purchase simple things. It'll be the right item, though usually not my preferred quality level (ex. A bag of of apples- last bag he got me was 80% mush).

                                    1. chefathome RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 19, 2013 08:33 AM

                                      Trust my husband, yes, as he is as analytical as I. However, to trust him to do the grocery shopping would rob me of joy as it is one of my favourite things to do. He only picks up the odd thing when I am ill. When he has the rare time off, we enjoy grocery shopping together. In fact, we drive to the city bi-monthly for weekends of unadulterated culinary shopping pleasure.

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                                        rasputina RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 19, 2013 09:19 AM

                                        We both cook and we both shop. Admittedly, he rarely shops alone without calling me at least once and sometimes multiple time to clarify something on the list, but hey he shops. He is much better at it since I got him an iphone and he has a grocery app to refer to.

                                        1 Reply
                                        1. re: rasputina
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                                          CanadaGirl RE: rasputina Jan 20, 2013 04:54 AM

                                          Could be worse. Mine calls from the store asking for the exact location of things. Umm, maybe someone who is actually in the store might be better with that request. Although I guess it means he thinks my memory is photographic!!

                                        2. fldhkybnva RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 19, 2013 10:02 AM

                                          Not usually. I actually really enjoy grocery shopping and usually if I'm not rushed, will grab a cup of coffee and browse. I often get my best ideas from an ingredient spotted in the aisles. As for regular grocery shopping with a preset list, I also prefer to do it myself. I think I have product particulars which are either difficult or too confusing to communicate and would just prefer to schedule the time to fit it into my schedule although if the list is fairly short and straightforward SO grabs a few items.

                                          1. meatn3 RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 19, 2013 10:48 AM

                                            I broke my leg a number of years ago and couldn't drive for months. I was in a very rural area without delivery options or public transit. I was completely reliant on friends and acquaintances who offered to pickup groceries.

                                            I learned a lot about becoming more easygoing and going with the flow! Really, the worse aspect was produce. Aside from onions and potatoes it was hard to obtain produce in the condition I desired.

                                            3 Replies
                                            1. re: meatn3
                                              mamachef RE: meatn3 Jan 19, 2013 01:10 PM

                                              I would like to be possesed of more of this kind of patience...

                                              1. re: mamachef
                                                meatn3 RE: mamachef Jan 20, 2013 09:42 AM

                                                It's been 14 years now ...cranky has steadily been overtaking carefree!

                                                1. re: meatn3
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                                                  INDIANRIVERFL RE: meatn3 Jan 26, 2014 09:03 AM

                                                  I have found that I usually get better service and far more smiles when I tell the person " I am in no rush whatsoever."

                                                  Especially when I am.

                                            2. rmarisco RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 19, 2013 12:33 PM

                                              we have a mantra: "don't buy off the list" when I send my husband out, but it rarely works. He always thinks i forget something - usually salsa, chips, bananas or chocolate. Really, those are his items he's afraid we'll run out of...
                                              like i could EVER forget the chocolate! who does he think he's dealing with - an amateur???

                                              1 Reply
                                              1. re: rmarisco
                                                MidwesternerTT RE: rmarisco Jan 19, 2013 04:12 PM

                                                Thanks for the laugh! We keep the chocolate (other than baking squares or chocolate chips) visible in a basket on the countertop in our household. So never any question what types we have on-hand.

                                              2. mamachef RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 19, 2013 01:09 PM

                                                If what arrives home needs to be very very very specific, I likewise must be very very very specific, up to and including what to buy in substitution, just in case, because there's nothing quite like, "they didn't have it so I didn't get anything" to shoot dinner plans straight to hell. I've learned this lesson repeatedly, and I seriously prefer to do my own shopping unless it's totally out of the question.

                                                1 Reply
                                                1. re: mamachef
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                                                  Weaver1 RE: mamachef Jan 20, 2013 06:46 AM

                                                  That pretty wells nails my response, mamachef.

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                                                  helou RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 19, 2013 02:57 PM

                                                  Very very rarely, if I'm just overwhelmed getting ready for company, and it's usually not so much that I trust them, but that I have no choice because I'm that busy.

                                                  And then it's only because i trust whoever it is even less to do the thing I'm doing at home, so i could go out shopping.

                                                  Even with simple things like canned goods or boxed pasta, I don't think they'll check to get the latest expiration dates the way I do.

                                                  And not just that - what if there's something wonderful and unexpected available (usually some fresh produce) that I would gladly substitute for something I'm planning to make, but i don't know that the store has it.

                                                  1. Musie RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 19, 2013 04:57 PM

                                                    I like grocery shopping. I make a list, but I like to see for myself which brand or type I want to buy.

                                                    So, I guess I would let my husband do it, I trust him to stick to the list, but I'd much rather do it myself.... because I do it better :P

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                                                      cresyd RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 20, 2013 03:00 AM

                                                      I have to admit that I do not trust other's to grocery shop for me. When I lived in the US, I was more able to make a limited list using brand names - but now that I shop in an open air market, I just don't trust people to evaluate vendors or go to the vendors that I frequent.

                                                      My greatest concern is that there are items where I really bargain hunt for the cheapest items - and there are items where I want to spend extra because the cheaper products are noticably inferior. And I've never had luck with explaining those divides to SO's or friends shopping for me.

                                                      1. RUK RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 20, 2013 06:07 AM

                                                        Some years ago, husband retired and I was still working - he offered to do most of the grocery shopping. He shopped differently than I did, but coming home from work and seeing the vegetables lined up on the kitchen table and looking into the fridge, I could easily see the dinners for the next few days. He doesn't cook whatsoever, yet he knows pretty well what goes into his favorite dishes.
                                                        Not a bad arrangement then. Nowadays I am also retired and I happily do all the food shopping, while he pursues other pastimes.

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                                                          sisterfunkhaus RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 20, 2013 08:21 AM

                                                          NO!!! I go to two to three stores to shop each week. I am very picky about produce and meat.

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                                                            pine time RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 20, 2013 09:09 AM

                                                            I've noted elsewhere Mr. Pine's -- shall we say "interesting"--shopping choices (I needed tomato paste, he bought corn flake crumbs). He's now verboten from shopping with me. However, we both are indeed aging (aren't we all?), and while I need to learn much more about our business affairs, decided he need to learn at least how much bread costs.

                                                            Although, I recently had a 4-day conference to attend and pre-made a bunch of food for him, all portioned, in the fridge, with stickies noting how to re-heat. Got a call from him one evening, asking: "how do I order pizza?" Since I had foreseen this likely occurrence, asked him "what room are you in right now?" "Kitchen." "Okay, face the fridge, see the note taped on the front?" "Okay, what's that?" "The phone number of the pizza place." That became his supper.

                                                            Guess he has more to learn. Shopping for a week's groceries is way beyond his keen for now. This is a man who is brilliant, with a phenomenal memory and analytical skills, yet not so practically minded.

                                                            2 Replies
                                                            1. re: pine time
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                                                              Ama658 RE: pine time Jan 27, 2014 01:07 PM

                                                              I did something similar for my kid brother a couple of years ago. I was away, my mom was overseas, my dad was working. 16 year old boy couldn't feed himself--I think all the options just overwhelmed him (there's a portion of lasagna? A burrito??)
                                                              So, I put sticky notes on all the jars/meals/etc. even down to labeling that jar of jelly with instruction on where the bread could be found. It's not as if he never made his own sandwich, but the idea of feeding himself for that long... Meal ideas, snack ideas, the whole lot. And my phone number, just in case. :)

                                                              1. re: Ama658
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                                                                pine time RE: Ama658 Jan 28, 2014 09:13 AM

                                                                I'll soon need to fill the freezer with pre-made meals since I have a scheduled surgery. Last time, Mr P made me super-brown scrambled eggs 3x/day. I have lots of meals to make/freeze!

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                                                              tastesgoodwhatisit RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 20, 2013 06:42 PM

                                                              My husband and I share cooking and shopping, so I would have no problem sending him with a list of what I wanted, with the exception of specialty items for which he doesn't share a cultural background (and vice versa - I would have trouble buying stuff for when it involves deciphering a language I don't read).

                                                              With other people - I'd probably limit it to essentials, and a detailed list, or to items that I wasn't finicky about.

                                                              I would consider using a shopping service for goods where choosing the best quality item isn't a big issue, and I can select from a clear list of brands and prices - boxed, canned and packaged goods, but not so much fresh produce or meat.

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                                                                FriedClamFanatic RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 20, 2013 07:13 PM

                                                                I'm male....do 90% of the cooking....and.the answer is NO! Not my wife nor my kids! Would cost me 40% more and I would have stuff in my fridge for 6-8 mos!

                                                                3 Replies
                                                                1. re: FriedClamFanatic
                                                                  Perilagu Khan RE: FriedClamFanatic Jan 21, 2013 08:52 AM

                                                                  A woman shopping will always spend 40% more. If you're lucky. ;)

                                                                  1. re: Perilagu Khan
                                                                    RUK RE: Perilagu Khan Jan 21, 2013 08:55 AM

                                                                    Of course! How else can we magically produce these wonderful dishes he so enjoys. :-)
                                                                    Ducking....

                                                                    1. re: RUK
                                                                      Perilagu Khan RE: RUK Jan 21, 2013 10:06 AM

                                                                      Indeed, duckling isn't cheap. ;)

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                                                                  ahuva RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 20, 2013 07:40 PM

                                                                  my spouse went shopping for me after i had a baby and was in the hospital - he had me on the phone as he went up and down the aisles - he would've come home with a box of cookies and a bag of salad and called it a day otherwise

                                                                  1. gmm RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 21, 2013 03:41 PM

                                                                    I take care of my dad and cook his meals, and every once in a while I'll ask him to pick up an item or two if he's going out. He has a bad habit of just grabbing things without looking at the label. A lot of times he'll accidentally grab the light or fat-free version of things. One time he brought home Tofutti sour cream instead of regular sour cream. His usual excuse is "that's all they had." Earlier this week I had made a list with two items - Coca Cola and hotdog buns. He brought home Coke Zero and hamburger buns.

                                                                    4 Replies
                                                                    1. re: gmm
                                                                      meatn3 RE: gmm Jan 21, 2013 08:33 PM

                                                                      Oh my! All you can really do with this is just laugh...
                                                                      Some people just don't have the "detail" gene.

                                                                      1. re: meatn3
                                                                        fldhkybnva RE: meatn3 Jan 21, 2013 08:37 PM

                                                                        My family likes to joke that I specialize in the details. I know that many people do not and for some reason I seem to attract them. I have to remind myself of this all the time and recognize the importance of the people who are good at the forest and not just the trees.

                                                                        1. re: fldhkybnva
                                                                          meatn3 RE: fldhkybnva Jan 21, 2013 09:55 PM

                                                                          I agree! I can get so detail oriented that I drive myself to the brink of crazy...like anything there are pros and cons and the middle ground is often the sanest!

                                                                          1. re: meatn3
                                                                            Perilagu Khan RE: meatn3 Jan 22, 2013 09:15 AM

                                                                            The more choices we have, the more detail orientation drives us to madness. I swear there must be 87 different types of orange juice these days, and if you're not careful, you'll accidentally grab something nasty. The same holds true for many other food staples, too.

                                                                    2. greygarious RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 21, 2013 10:01 PM

                                                                      I live alone and had major surgery some years ago. In the preceding weeks, I stocked up on nonperishables and filled my freezer with things I cooked and froze in portions. I would have been okay for a month (dried fruit, tetrapak milk, etc.) but complications extended recuperation so on two occasions, friends brought groceries from a list I made - maybe a dozen different items each time. Each performed the task perfectly. More recently, I have several times used the delivery service of a local chain (Roche Bros.) and have been pleased. For departments like meat and produce, the online ordering has a feature allowing the customer to get very specific about preferences - spotty bananas, melons that smell sweet at the stem end....that type of thing. They do a good job abiding by those requests.

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                                                                        wapfcat RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 22, 2013 11:48 AM

                                                                        Of course I trust my husband to go to the store with our list. We make our grocery lists together and frequently shop together, but sometimes it just works out best, schedule-wise, for him to go instead of me, and he does an excellent job. When he has a question about an item on the list, he just texts me (and I do the same when I have a question about something he put on the list).

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                                                                          TulsaWife RE: MidwesternerTT Mar 29, 2013 08:24 AM

                                                                          I trust my husband to go to the store, but only with a list, lol.

                                                                          We actually had this convo the other day. I asked him what he would buy at the grocery store if he were making meals for one week. He replied with a ton of things that sounded really good, but also a few disgusting ones. I usually make him whatever he wants...hes a meat and potatoes kinda guy, so its sort of hard to break out of that shell and try new things.
                                                                          But...yes...I trust him WITH a grocery list. :) He might come back with several additional bags of crackers and spray cheese though. o.O

                                                                          1 Reply
                                                                          1. re: TulsaWife
                                                                            melpy RE: TulsaWife Jan 28, 2014 10:50 AM

                                                                            My husband alone would eat the following:
                                                                            Hamburger helper-beef pasta with extra egg noodles and chili powder/seasoned salt
                                                                            Salmon cakes from canned salmon
                                                                            Scrambled eggs with elbow noodles with steak on the side
                                                                            Instant potatoes
                                                                            Kraft Mac and cheese
                                                                            Ham steak
                                                                            Canned baked beans with extra king syrup
                                                                            Grilled cheese
                                                                            Peanut butter and celery if the celery was pre cut/washed
                                                                            Frozen bagged pasta meals
                                                                            Take out (fast food, sandwiches, pizza joint)

                                                                            He would eat lunch out every day, probably subway, fast food, Mexican or seething with lots of ingredients that he wouldn't cook.

                                                                            Literally I think that was his whole diet when I met him.

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                                                                            HillJ RE: MidwesternerTT Mar 29, 2013 08:37 AM

                                                                            Absolutely! All of the above. I split Costco purchases with several friends rather than deal with large amounts of food, I share bottles of wine with friends and neighbors so we can experience new wines/beers. I am on two food swap groups where we make meals for each other and do canning together for sale and I belong to two dining clubs where couples meet at each others homes for a meal. My husband loves International food stores so he often covers that part of our pantry shopping. I have not tried a shopping service in the US but I have used a version of one in Italy when I was working in Tuscany for 3 months.

                                                                            And, anyone offering to cover next Wed-give me a call! I have my list and special order pickups all set to go!

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                                                                              jujuthomas RE: MidwesternerTT Mar 29, 2013 09:46 AM

                                                                              generally I do the shopping, because as I go through the store I remember the "oh ands"... the things that didn't make it to the list, but I know we need. DH will do the shopping sometimes - if he wants to do some grilling or if it's just a few items. If I'm sick and need more, I have to write out a very detailed list with what brands we buy and sometimes what the packages look like. :-D

                                                                              I tried a grocery service once, when I couldn't drive due to a broken ankle. It was OK, but I prefer to pick out my own fruits and veggies so I wouldn't use it all the time.

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                                                                                Nanzi RE: MidwesternerTT Mar 29, 2013 09:56 AM

                                                                                Yes, My husband is a great shopper!! He will often come home with stuff I forget to put on the list. He even knows which brands I like. What a blessing!!

                                                                                1. boyzoma RE: MidwesternerTT Mar 29, 2013 01:42 PM

                                                                                  DH does 90% of all grocery shopping. He very rarely messes up. But when he does, it's a doozy. He usually does great and I love him for it. But then he loves to shop and I hate to, so it works out well. I put everything in the Grocery IQ app, so as long as he has his cell phone, we're good to go.

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                                                                                    Docshiva RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 24, 2014 09:16 AM

                                                                                    I'm afraid the only sure thing is to shop yourself; in my case, even that doesn't always work out. Forgot the half & half, ham, and bacon yesterday. At two different grocery stores.
                                                                                    When I ask someone to pick something up for me, it's not often what I wanted. But it was nice of them to go to the trouble!
                                                                                    I say thank you, then I make do.

                                                                                    1. viperlush RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 24, 2014 09:28 AM

                                                                                      I try to stick to a tight budget. So if I'm cutting it close I won't buy everything on the list, or if I'm under I will buy stuff to stock the pantry/ fridge. BF on the other hand ( who set the budget) isn't as careful. He shops the sales, buys everything on the list, and will throw in stuff we forgot to put on the list. But we aren't brand loyal so there is no conflict there. I use to shop alone, but now our big weekly shopping is done together.

                                                                                      I can't trust my mother. She was up here "taking care" of me after a recent hospital stay. Would only shop at our TJ, WF, and fishmonger. Also she only buys brand and not generic. In her defense she isnt familiar with our stores and was enthralled with the idea of walking to the grocery store and shopping every day. We ate well but she easier spent 7x our weekly budget. Thankfully she paid.

                                                                                      Off topic, but I think my fellow CHers would understand my pain. The whole week I was in the hospital, each day my parents and BF ate at a different restaurant (many on my list to try) for lunch and dinner. Of course my parents are out of towners so I had to make suggestions. I had to listen to them describe their great meals as I'm lying in a hospital bed. Unfair.

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                                                                                        pedalfaster RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 24, 2014 10:01 AM

                                                                                        "I figure with us aging, grocery shopping and knowing where favorite items are located in the store is a skill that both of us should have."

                                                                                        Totally agree with this. And not just for the older crowd. It's important for both members of a couple to know how to do basic shopping (as well as pay the bills and other household maintenance).

                                                                                        MY SO got a "crash course" in grocery shopping when I was in the hospital/home bound for ~6 months a few years ago. I eventually returned to cooking...but he continues to shop with me to this day.

                                                                                        This week I was unable to shop (ill). He returned from the store with all of the required kitchen supplies AND a few treats not on the list. Not for himself; he picked up avocados and grapefruit for me (he doesn't eat either, knows I love both).

                                                                                        Yes, engineers ~can~ be trained. :)

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                                                                                          Harters RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 24, 2014 10:09 AM

                                                                                          My partner & I normally shop together. From time to time, one or the other shops alone - but we always work to the list and our agreed basis for "extras".

                                                                                          1. scubadoo97 RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 24, 2014 10:10 AM

                                                                                            Only with a list for general grocery items.
                                                                                            I would prefer to pick my own proteins and produce

                                                                                            1. YAYME RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 24, 2014 10:37 AM

                                                                                              I get home delivery to my house and it's dicey. I have to tell the person how to pick out ripe mangoes and avocados

                                                                                              1. tcamp RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 24, 2014 12:12 PM

                                                                                                Divide and conquer. Spouse does Costco runs most of the time and gets house staples as well as dog food and wine/liquor plus anything that's on the list (Got Milk).

                                                                                                I plan most dinners and buy most of the produce that enters the house. DH is a great shopper but wouldn't know a turnip from a parsnip if you held a gun to his head. Forget about cilantro/parsley.

                                                                                                1. Ttrockwood RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 24, 2014 05:23 PM

                                                                                                  With the basics, yes i can trust a friend or family member to stick to my list or call of they have questions.

                                                                                                  However, my ex (professional cook) loved to go to the store and he would say "oh i'll pick up something for dinner tonight" and proceed to blow the grocery budget for the entire week on that one meal! Then i was the one having cereal for dinner because he would just eat at work!! Still kind of pisses me off.....

                                                                                                  I've used pea pod grocery delivery for everything but produce since their prices are better than the grocery stores near me, but i'll get fresh produce from the mom and pop store in my neighborhood.

                                                                                                  1. b
                                                                                                    BuildingMyBento RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 24, 2014 07:22 PM

                                                                                                    No, and for one reason only: I don't want drinks with added sugar.

                                                                                                    1. MamasCooking RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 25, 2014 01:36 AM

                                                                                                      I recently started ordering all non food items online and in bulk when possible: cat food, litter, paper towels, soaps and so on. I decided to do it because the shipping is free and the prices about the same as in the stores. I just do not enjoy lifting 40 pound boxes of cat litter or 12 pound bags of cat food in/out/cart like eight different times to finally get it home. Fed Ex delivers it to my front door. I prefer to do my own food shopping because I am very picky about my foods:)

                                                                                                      3 Replies
                                                                                                      1. re: MamasCooking
                                                                                                        greygarious RE: MamasCooking Jan 25, 2014 02:47 PM

                                                                                                        I hope you remember to tip the Fed Ex courier at Xmas.

                                                                                                        1. re: greygarious
                                                                                                          foodieX2 RE: greygarious Jan 25, 2014 03:00 PM

                                                                                                          Why?

                                                                                                          1. re: greygarious
                                                                                                            MamasCooking RE: greygarious Jan 25, 2014 10:07 PM

                                                                                                            They actually leave my deliveries on my front porch. I never see a delivery person.

                                                                                                        2. l
                                                                                                          Lileanda RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 25, 2014 02:58 PM

                                                                                                          I once asked my ex to pick up some fresh dill for a dish he asked me to make. I suggested he seek help from the produce employees at the store if he couldn't find it. They have a HUGE produce section, so of course he asked for help. The ex and the produce employee finally found the "fresh dill" and off he went. How surprised was I to find salad cucumbers the only item in the bag?

                                                                                                          My current roommate can't cook anything more difficult than ramen. Sending him to the store means 20 minutes on the phone trying to explain, and then ending up with three bags of frozen burritos and tv dinners.

                                                                                                          I'll just shop for myself :p

                                                                                                          1. m
                                                                                                            magiesmom RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 25, 2014 05:32 PM

                                                                                                            My wife and I both cook and both shop. We make the list together. She is not good at buying red meat but the butcher at our coop is very reliable so she has learned to ask him.

                                                                                                            1. EWSflash RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 25, 2014 06:26 PM

                                                                                                              Hell no. Period.

                                                                                                              1. emglow101 RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 25, 2014 10:11 PM

                                                                                                                Oh no. It's like someone shopping for your shoes.

                                                                                                                1. chartreauxx RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 25, 2014 10:24 PM

                                                                                                                  my boyfriend and i live in different cities, but when we're together (we trade off months who travels - he'll be visiting me in february, i was out there in january), we share the shopping. when we can we just go together. when not, he's ...well, *pretty* good at getting what i ask for. and he's a maniac about quality and freshness for meat produce fish etc. so, mostly. he likes food and cooking and is pretty good at it, i'm just more into it, so if i'm getting really CH-ish on him it's best if i shop myself.

                                                                                                                  1. h
                                                                                                                    helou RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 27, 2014 04:18 AM

                                                                                                                    I only ever ask anyone to get things that are prepackaged; never, ever anything that has to be selected - fresh produce, fresh meat, and actually, and as I think about it, not even frozen food because I look for packages toward the back where it's colder, and to be sure the stuff inside isn't clumped together.

                                                                                                                    For everything else I make an extremely detailed list - not just what to buy, and which brand, but also what NOT to buy (i.e. - "be careful not to get the sodium-free" that sort of thing). Also, I list alternates - "if they don't have brand X get brand Y." A five item list can take up to a page.

                                                                                                                    And I try to avoid anything with an expiration date - "check the dates on the bottles of grapefruit juice and get the latest one." I'm not even particularly obsessive about using "expired" food, I just like to start with the freshest I can.

                                                                                                                    So no, I really don't trust anyone to shop for me.

                                                                                                                    1. l
                                                                                                                      LeoLioness RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 27, 2014 09:54 AM

                                                                                                                      I trust a lot of people to grocery shop for me. Unfortunately, I live with someone who is really terrible at it. No trip is without a phone call (sometimes more than one), a missed item ("they didn't have garlic") or an incorrect item (oh, thanks. Spaghetti squash is almost like butternut squash and no, that's not parsley that's cilantro....)

                                                                                                                      It's a good thing he's handsome.

                                                                                                                      1. n
                                                                                                                        Nanzi RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 27, 2014 10:07 AM

                                                                                                                        I'm blessed!! Hubby is a wonderful shopper....if I do a good list. And usually he knows the brands I use. Sometimes I just don't feel like going to the grocery. We've been married almost 48 years, so he's had lots of time to observe and learn.
                                                                                                                        But sometimes I just need to do all the aisles to be reminded of items I need to restock the pantry.

                                                                                                                        1. LMAshton RE: MidwesternerTT Jan 27, 2014 06:19 PM

                                                                                                                          From scratch ingredients (meat, produce, for example), yes. The husband will ask for details when needed - like whole milk vs. skim or that sort of thing. We do our shopping together and he pays attention to what I get, so he doesn't tend to get anything wrong on the rare occasion he goes out without me.

                                                                                                                          Anything else? Nope.

                                                                                                                          1. My husband is Muslim. When in countries where Halal certification is available, we go by that for the Halalness factor. But for products that don't have Halal certification, I know what ingredients to look for to figure out if something is Halal or not. Most non-Muslims wouldn't have a clue where to start. My husband isn't even as good at reading the labels as I am, and he has a vested interest in eating Halal. His mother (also Muslim, as is the rest of his family) I definitely trust.

                                                                                                                          2. Allergies & sensitivites. I have a boatload of allergies/sensitivities, many of them pretty ridiculous in how rare they are (seriously, cloves? How many people do you know who react to cloves?). The husband has a few, but only a few. My list alone is ridiculous enough that I would not expect other people to get it right. On the other hand, this is also why I rarely buy processed/prepared food - things like spices are almost never individually listed as an ingredient.

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