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Kitchen Misunderstandings with the Significant Other

delys77 Jan 16, 2013 11:27 AM

Something a fellow chowhound posted about a kitchen mishap she had with her husband led me to think it might be fun to share some of our odd/strage/funny misunderstandings in the kitchen with our significant other.

In my case most of the mishaps related to food shopping rather than cooking since my partner rarely comes into the kitchen (I'm a bit of a control freak in there).

Example 1: I asked him to pick me up a few bunches of green onions at the market. I should have known something was up, but I told him that they are always in bunches but if for some reason they were loose that he should get me 12 green onions.

He came home with a huge bag of 12 leeks. I laughed my butt off, and luckily he thought it was funny also.

Example 2: I asked him to grab 2 whole wheat and 2 regular baguettes at the bakery as we were having some company. When I saw him come home with a few bags from Safeway I asked if he went to the bakery. He said yes that he had been and the presented me with 4 huge french loaves from the safeway bread case. Again I laughed but this time he didn't think it was so funny. I explained that when I said bakery I meant the neighbourhood baker we go to all the time and not the bread case at the local safeway. Also, while a baguette is technically a French type of bread it was not interchangeable with any loaf of French bread.

He got the point, and we are now much clearer when discussing errands.

What funny mishaps or miscommunications have you had in your home kitchen.

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  1. boyzoma RE: delys77 Jan 16, 2013 11:33 AM

    OK, I can't resist - I've just got to publish this joke I received right before the holidays.

    Avocado Shopping

    My lovely wife, Chris asked me, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get six."
    A short time later I came back with six cartons of milk.
    Chris asked me, "Why did you buy six cartons of milk?"
    I replied, "They had avocados."

    If you're a woman, I'm sure you're going back to read it again!
    Men will get it the first time.
    My work is done here. Retirement is not easy.

    My DH and I have had things like this happen as well. He likes to do all the shopping!

    33 Replies
    1. re: boyzoma
      Gio RE: boyzoma Jan 16, 2013 11:52 AM

      I seriously think we're married to the same man.

      1. re: boyzoma
        c
        cheesecake17 RE: boyzoma Jan 16, 2013 12:20 PM

        Speaking of milk. Sent my husband to buy a gallon of whole milk. Told him to get "one gallon of milk with the red cap." He came home with strawberry milk.

        Costco- please pick up mango. If they have it pre sliced, get a container. If not, get a case. End result... A case of pre sliced containers of mango.

        Reason why husband does not do the shopping: at any given time, we have Poland spring water in mini bottles, 16oz bottles, sport bottles, and gallons. Pellegrino and several cases of seltzer take up several shelves too

        1. re: cheesecake17
          c
          cleobeach RE: cheesecake17 Jan 16, 2013 01:58 PM

          There are many reasons why Mr. CB isn't "allowed" to go to the grocery store and cheesecake17's water inventory is just one perfect example.

          1. re: cheesecake17
            KarenDW RE: cheesecake17 Jan 18, 2013 12:11 AM

            the only advice that my husband's ex-wife gave to me... don't let him go to Costco alone. :D

            1. re: KarenDW
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              happybaker RE: KarenDW Jan 18, 2013 10:46 AM

              : ) !!!!

              1. re: KarenDW
                c
                cheesecake17 RE: KarenDW Jan 18, 2013 01:36 PM

                He can't!!!! He's not a member, only I am :)

            2. re: boyzoma
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              DGresh RE: boyzoma Jan 16, 2013 12:56 PM

              Anyone with a computer science background gets it the first time :)

              Similar: A programmer's wife tells him, "While you're at the grocery store, buy some eggs." He never comes back.

              1. re: DGresh
                susancinsf RE: DGresh Jan 16, 2013 01:31 PM

                Ok, DGresh, I confess: I am a programmer's wife, but I don't get it.

                1. re: DGresh
                  NonnieMuss RE: DGresh Jan 16, 2013 01:40 PM

                  I am a programmer's wife. I get it. (eye roll)

                  1. re: DGresh
                    geekmom RE: DGresh Jan 16, 2013 01:53 PM

                    I shared this with my (software engineer) SO and he laughed and laughed. Good one!

                    1. re: geekmom
                      southernitalian RE: geekmom Jan 16, 2013 02:31 PM

                      Please explain?

                      1. re: southernitalian
                        d
                        DGresh RE: southernitalian Jan 16, 2013 02:45 PM

                        In a computer program, a "while" loop is something where you say something like "while done=false do.... and then inside the loop you might say "if I find what I'm looking for, done=true". And you exit the loop (that is "return") because now the condition for "while done=false" is no longer fulfilled. So here the while says "while you're at the grocery store, buy eggs. He's still at the grocery store, so he buys eggs. He's still at the grocery store, so he buys eggs. and so on. It's a very geeky joke.

                        1. re: DGresh
                          davis_sq_pro RE: DGresh Jan 29, 2013 01:42 PM

                          Yeah, but a real software developer would eventually stop buying the eggs in order to get a fresh can of Mountain Dew.

                          1. re: davis_sq_pro
                            h
                            HillsofBeverly RE: davis_sq_pro Mar 12, 2013 12:53 PM

                            HA. Or programmer pellets (M&Ms, peanuts, whatever works).

                            So painfully true.

                            1. re: HillsofBeverly
                              tracylee RE: HillsofBeverly Mar 14, 2013 06:34 PM

                              Hahaha! In our unit we counted the colors of M&Ms in vending machine bags over lots of time and created a graph with colored M&Ms as plot points. When I posted it outside my cubicle, the boss was a bit concerned. I can't remember now what my answer to him was, but we didn't get in trouble!

                    2. re: DGresh
                      c
                      Cachetes RE: DGresh Jan 16, 2013 04:56 PM

                      I told my mathematician husband, who laughed out loud. And then explained it to me!

                      1. re: DGresh
                        p
                        pine time RE: DGresh Jan 17, 2013 11:42 AM

                        I'm doubly jinxed: Mr. Pine is both a computer engineer and mathematician, so very bright, but not real practical-minded.

                        Three true experiences:
                        We were grocery shopping together (which is now verboten). Told him I had forgotten tomato paste, about 2 aisles back, and please go get a can; gave detailed explanation about the can--small, not tomato sauce, approximate location on the shelf. I continued to shop, actually got up to the check out before he returned with his hand behind his back. Said "they didn't have what you wanted" [yeah, right], "but can't you use this instead?" And whipped out a box of corn flake crumbs. Sure, perfect substitution.

                        Second story: needed marshmellows and hunted all over the baking aisle for them. He said "of course you can't find them, they're with the vegetables." He thought they were veggies (yes, I know there's a "mallow," but hardly what works in Rice Krispie treats.)
                        That's why he's verboten in the store with me.

                        Finally, tried to engage him as a sous chef. Told him to beat an egg for me. He held up an egg between his index finger and thumb, told it "I don't know what you did to be so bad, but here it comes," and then used his other hand to pretend to smack the heck out of it.

                        At least he makes me laugh!

                        1. re: pine time
                          tcamp RE: pine time Jan 17, 2013 12:45 PM

                          Cute stories!

                        2. re: DGresh
                          s
                          SAHCook RE: DGresh Jan 18, 2013 09:15 PM

                          I messed up the joke and my husband is still laughing!

                        3. re: boyzoma
                          hotoynoodle RE: boyzoma Jan 16, 2013 08:25 PM

                          uh, no... i got it before the punchline. jeebus.

                          1. re: boyzoma
                            t
                            thymeoz RE: boyzoma Jan 17, 2013 06:04 AM

                            I'm a woman & got it the first time! : )

                            1. re: boyzoma
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                              FattyDumplin RE: boyzoma Jan 17, 2013 11:16 AM

                              I love this!

                              1. re: boyzoma
                                tracylee RE: boyzoma Jan 17, 2013 12:56 PM

                                I'm also a woman, and I got it the first time. But then, I'm also a computer programmer, so the logic of this and the joke below make perfect sense to me!

                                1. re: boyzoma
                                  IndyGirl RE: boyzoma Jan 18, 2013 02:41 PM

                                  HILARIOUS!

                                  1. re: boyzoma
                                    PotatoHouse RE: boyzoma Jan 18, 2013 04:06 PM

                                    YOU MUST watch this video! This is one of my favorite stories by this comedienne.

                                    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YFRUS...

                                    1. re: PotatoHouse
                                      KaimukiMan RE: PotatoHouse Jan 18, 2013 06:36 PM

                                      one of my faves too, it's posted further down as well, but two postings are better than one.

                                      1. re: PotatoHouse
                                        pikawicca RE: PotatoHouse Jan 20, 2013 02:41 PM

                                        Why have I never heard of this woman? She's brilliant!

                                        1. re: pikawicca
                                          h
                                          happybaker RE: pikawicca Jan 20, 2013 09:22 PM

                                          I know - I can't believe I hadn't heard of her until this post. Now I am a fan.

                                          Now if she could just post the recipe for that pound cake...

                                          Oh! Just wandered and she actually published the recipe in a magazine. Here's the link. No baking powder, so maybe the 7 up does that?

                                          http://jeannerobertson.com/TasteOfThe...

                                          1. re: happybaker
                                            KaimukiMan RE: happybaker Jan 20, 2013 11:14 PM

                                            wow, thank you happybaker, i always wondered about the recipe.

                                        2. re: PotatoHouse
                                          tracylee RE: PotatoHouse Mar 6, 2013 07:43 PM

                                          I had a good laugh about this situation just yesterday. Mom had actually made yeast rolls (first time in many years) from a recipe given to her by a friend. Dad dropped the recipe off the other day when he stopped by.

                                          I read through it and didn't see the flour she'd mentioned in the list of ingredients, however there were 4 1/2 cups of butter! I asked her about it, figuring she'd typed something wrong. Nope, the first 5 ingredients were listed 1,2,3,4,5 followed by some instructions, then flour and eggs and other stuff was in the following instructions. Not the usual recipe layout!

                                        3. re: boyzoma
                                          John E. RE: boyzoma Jan 20, 2013 03:46 PM

                                          So what was the problem?

                                          1. re: boyzoma
                                            EWSflash RE: boyzoma Jan 26, 2013 07:25 PM

                                            Oh man, welcome to my nightmare. DH is the son of an engineer, from whom he inherited several engineer-type social weirdnesses

                                            1. re: boyzoma
                                              w
                                              wapfcat RE: boyzoma Jan 28, 2013 12:17 PM

                                              What on earth? I'm a woman and not only did I not need to reread it to see what happened, but I knew how it would end from the initial request.

                                            2. t
                                              treb RE: delys77 Jan 16, 2013 11:44 AM

                                              Give'm an 'A' for effort, it's the thought that counts!! IMO, whoever cooks should do the grocery shopping.

                                              15 Replies
                                              1. re: treb
                                                juliejulez RE: treb Jan 16, 2013 11:47 AM

                                                Exactly. My SO and I don't have any kitchen misunderstandings, because he doesn't come into the kitchen except to get the food I've made, and I do all the grocery shopping too! I'm an uber control freak when it comes to stuff like that.

                                                1. re: juliejulez
                                                  delys77 RE: juliejulez Jan 16, 2013 12:10 PM

                                                  I usually do as well. He often comes shopping with me, because he wants input on the wine purchases, but I am usually responsible for all the food related purchases. In both my examples above I had decided to make a very ambitious menu for guests and couldn't leave the kitchen for the better part of a day, so my man was enlisted. Given the issues, I have definitely learned how important specificity is.

                                                  1. re: juliejulez
                                                    sunshine842 RE: juliejulez Jan 16, 2013 01:46 PM

                                                    Mr. Sun would rather side naked down a mile of barbed wire than go to the grocery.

                                                    So I do the shopping and the cooking...and that's okay with both of us.

                                                    1. re: sunshine842
                                                      juliejulez RE: sunshine842 Jan 16, 2013 04:12 PM

                                                      Mine too, he HATES just about any kind of shopping (unless it's at Cabela's or Bass Pro Shop LOL). I did bring him one time, and in between his pouting and frowning, he put all kinds of crap junk food in the cart. I can get him to go to Costco to help me lift the heavy cases of stuff, but if it's crowded, he pouts then too (and still manages to throw in impulse snacks).

                                                      I think our arrangement works out very well for both of us. I love grocery shopping, meal planning, and cooking, and he likes to eat.

                                                      1. re: juliejulez
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                                                        cheesecake17 RE: juliejulez Jan 16, 2013 04:15 PM

                                                        Ha sounds like my house. Except, when we go to Costco he sneaks in MORE water

                                                        1. re: juliejulez
                                                          k
                                                          Kontxesi RE: juliejulez Jan 17, 2013 10:29 AM

                                                          Sounds like my fiance. :p If he gets into a Bass Pro, I lose him for hours. And whenever I take him grocery shopping, we come home with monstrosities like Hot Pockets. >.>

                                                          1. re: Kontxesi
                                                            juliejulez RE: Kontxesi Jan 17, 2013 02:49 PM

                                                            I have Hot Pockets in my Freezer as we speak, along with a half dozen boxes of Hamburger Helper. They were there when I moved in, and I'm just waiting til I can sneak them out and donate them somewhere.

                                                          2. re: juliejulez
                                                            melpy RE: juliejulez Jan 17, 2013 11:03 AM

                                                            Mine will go to the store if I say he doesn't have to stick to the lit but he will not go alone. He likes to push the cart and scan items and put crap in the cart because it is scan and bag as you go.

                                                            Mine isn't into Cabelas or Bass Pro but ANY store selling CDs takes years for us to get out of. We have thousands of CDs.

                                                            1. re: juliejulez
                                                              John E. RE: juliejulez Jan 20, 2013 04:12 PM

                                                              I'm one of those husbands who does most of the cooking and shopping but I also am a big fan of Cabela's. Anyway, my SIL travels to a huge three day craft show ea h summer with some of her friends. I snarkily asked her what they do after the first 15 minutes at this craft show. She responded "What do you guys do after the first 2 minutes at Cabela's". I guess she got me.

                                                              1. re: John E.
                                                                juliejulez RE: John E. Jan 20, 2013 05:40 PM

                                                                Ha that's hilarious.

                                                                I went shopping today with SO because he needs some nicer clothes for his new job (he currently works at home so he wears t-shirts and jeans every day). He acted like I was pulling out his fingernails and was whining the whole time (it was about 2 stores and less than 2 hours)... yet if I took him to Cabela's he would happily spend all day there.

                                                                1. re: juliejulez
                                                                  John E. RE: juliejulez Jan 20, 2013 06:50 PM

                                                                  I dislike clothes shopping except for maybe shopping for hunting clothes in the bargain cave at Cabela's.

                                                                  1. re: juliejulez
                                                                    tracylee RE: juliejulez Jan 21, 2013 10:47 AM

                                                                    Threaten to take him to a craft store. That'll shut him up! I used to threaten the ex-husband with that all the time.

                                                              2. re: sunshine842
                                                                k
                                                                kmcarr RE: sunshine842 Jan 17, 2013 12:40 PM

                                                                When I was growing up and my father was working full time I'm not sure he even knew where the grocery store was. Since he has retired the grocery store has become his second home. He has more or less completely taken over all grocery shopping, but I think it's mostly anything to get out of the house so he doesn't go stir crazy.

                                                            2. re: treb
                                                              KarenDW RE: treb Jan 18, 2013 12:27 AM

                                                              I used to leave a list, my DH would shop, with the understanding that I would cook whatever was purchased. But he would eat whatever was cooked :)

                                                              1. re: KarenDW
                                                                sunshine842 RE: KarenDW Jan 18, 2013 08:29 AM

                                                                now THAT is detente.

                                                            3. r
                                                              ricepad RE: delys77 Jan 16, 2013 11:59 AM

                                                              This was not a misunderstanding between Mrs. ricepad and me, but between Mrs. ricepad and her mother many many years ago (I believe Mrs. ricepad was about 10 at the time). After they'd returned home from a grocery shopping trip, MIL asked Mrs. ricepad to "pick out all the brown spots on the apples." Mrs. ricepad thought, 'WTF?', but being the dutiful daugther, she grabbed a paring knife and went about carving out all the little brown flecks on the skin, until the apples looked like they'd been hit by a shotgun blast at 12 paces.

                                                              When MIL finished packing away the rest of the groceries, she finally saw what Mrs. ricepad had done to the apples. "WHAT IN THE WORLD DID YOU DO??" she asked. Mrs. ricepad said, "I picked out all the brown spots, just like you asked."

                                                              Turns out, MIL meant to pick off the remains of the shriveled blossoms from the ends of the apples. I think they made applesauce later that day.

                                                              1 Reply
                                                              1. re: ricepad
                                                                EWSflash RE: ricepad Jan 26, 2013 07:31 PM

                                                                Priceless- thanks

                                                              2. njmarshall55 RE: delys77 Jan 16, 2013 01:03 PM

                                                                The day before Christmas, I was sent out to get salt cod for Baccala. I came home with 2 lbs of dried salt cod...NOT the reconstituted she wanted. It hurt when she hit me with it.

                                                                3 Replies
                                                                1. re: njmarshall55
                                                                  EWSflash RE: njmarshall55 Jan 26, 2013 07:32 PM

                                                                  I'd be hard-pressed to know where to get some, dried or otherwise.

                                                                  1. re: EWSflash
                                                                    pdxgastro RE: EWSflash Jan 30, 2013 10:27 PM

                                                                    Italian or Portuguese neighborhoods, no?

                                                                    1. re: pdxgastro
                                                                      njmarshall55 RE: pdxgastro Mar 12, 2013 12:21 PM

                                                                      Fortunately, there was another fish store that had the re-constituted cod. It's usually available around the holidays in, yes, high concentrations of Italian or Portugese neighborhoods. We were in No. NJ at the time.

                                                                2. pinehurst RE: delys77 Jan 16, 2013 01:24 PM

                                                                  Not an understanding but an oddity. If something my H likes goes on sale (examples include stewed tomatoes and pickles), he will buy 20 jars or cans of said item and stow them in odd places in our (tiny, tiny) pantry. Like in our laundry basket. Or behind the receptacle in which I save plastic grocery bags to reuse....which is like the black hole since I can't see behind it.

                                                                  It irks me because he never fills me in on the purchases....I discover them when I go to hang a load of clothes on the line, or when I come home and announce I got some nice pickles at the deli. I'll hear "Oh, I have 22 jars of kosher dills..." Also irksome because he always gets stuff HE likes...never my beloved anchovy olives, or dark dark chocolate, etc.

                                                                  5 Replies
                                                                  1. re: pinehurst
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                                                                    cheesecake17 RE: pinehurst Jan 16, 2013 01:42 PM

                                                                    Haha sounds like me. I stored cans of tomatoes in my linen closet. Till husband reached for a towel and a can fell on his foot

                                                                    1. re: pinehurst
                                                                      s
                                                                      sandylc RE: pinehurst Jan 16, 2013 06:03 PM

                                                                      I think some hubbies missed out on the organizing gene.

                                                                      1. re: pinehurst
                                                                        GraydonCarter RE: pinehurst Jan 18, 2013 08:02 PM

                                                                        When the rate of inflation exceeds savings interest rates, buying canned goods is a viable investment option.

                                                                        1. re: GraydonCarter
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                                                                          Terrieltr RE: GraydonCarter Jun 16, 2013 10:26 AM

                                                                          So instead of storing money in the mattress, we should store canned goods? Sounds a little uncomfortable. Can I at least just store dried rice?

                                                                          1. re: Terrieltr
                                                                            Midknight RE: Terrieltr Jun 17, 2013 07:11 AM

                                                                            "The Princess and the Canned Peas."

                                                                      2. NonnieMuss RE: delys77 Jan 16, 2013 01:38 PM

                                                                        We sent our office runner to buy sandwich fixings for a staff lunch - a couple loaves of bread, tomatoes, lettuce, mayo, mustard, etc. A 20-year old college boy, he wasn't terribly confident in his grocerying abilities, and spent 10 minutes asking me how to pick out tomatoes, what size, how to tell if they were ripe, etc.

                                                                        He proudly came back with the most gorgeous tomatoes we'd ever seen and, instead of a head of lettuce, a 5-lb. cabbage.

                                                                        5 Replies
                                                                        1. re: NonnieMuss
                                                                          sunshine842 RE: NonnieMuss Jan 16, 2013 01:48 PM

                                                                          ROFLPMSL -- oh, bless his little white socks.

                                                                          1. re: sunshine842
                                                                            EWSflash RE: sunshine842 Jan 26, 2013 07:33 PM

                                                                            +1- know your messenger, or go with him

                                                                          2. re: NonnieMuss
                                                                            juliejulez RE: NonnieMuss Jan 16, 2013 04:13 PM

                                                                            That's so cute!

                                                                            1. re: NonnieMuss
                                                                              breadwinner RE: NonnieMuss Jan 23, 2013 01:21 PM

                                                                              Haha. Hope you made some coleslaw.

                                                                              1. re: NonnieMuss
                                                                                pdxgastro RE: NonnieMuss Jan 30, 2013 10:29 PM

                                                                                Once I craftily used Napa cabbage in place of (very expensive) lettuce in a sandwich and it was fantastic. A 5 lber though? Not so much. :o)

                                                                              2. h
                                                                                Hobbert RE: delys77 Jan 16, 2013 01:49 PM

                                                                                I asked my now husband to make brownies while I was at work since my sister was coming to town and loves brownies. It was a box mix so I figured he'd be good. We hadn't lived together very long at that point and I just assumed he could cook...despite never having seen it happen. But he was in his late 20's and still alive so how bad could it be? Uh...well... He called me to ask how to turn on the oven, what pan to use, how to use the timer, how to know if the eggs were extra large, and what canola oil was... I just do the cooking now :)

                                                                                34 Replies
                                                                                1. re: Hobbert
                                                                                  k
                                                                                  kmcarr RE: Hobbert Jan 17, 2013 12:43 PM

                                                                                  " I just do the cooking now"
                                                                                  ~~~
                                                                                  Which was his plan all along, buwahahaha.

                                                                                  1. re: kmcarr
                                                                                    h
                                                                                    Hobbert RE: kmcarr Jan 17, 2013 02:05 PM

                                                                                    Lol, potentially. He's very devious but I don't want to suffer while he learns to cook :)

                                                                                    1. re: Hobbert
                                                                                      KarenDW RE: Hobbert Jan 18, 2013 12:17 AM

                                                                                      did anyone suffer when you learned to cook?

                                                                                      1. re: KarenDW
                                                                                        h
                                                                                        Hobbert RE: KarenDW Jan 18, 2013 03:51 AM

                                                                                        Undoubtedly.

                                                                                  2. re: Hobbert
                                                                                    IndyGirl RE: Hobbert Jan 18, 2013 02:45 PM

                                                                                    This is my husband. I have so many stories I don't know where to start.

                                                                                    1. re: Hobbert
                                                                                      John E. RE: Hobbert Jan 20, 2013 04:30 PM

                                                                                      My mother was a great home cook. My sister was not. She was a single mom and was complaining to my mom about cooking meals and my mom suggested she make Bisquik oven fried chicken. My sister, with two advanced degrees, proceded to make biscuit dough and attemped to wrap it around raw chicken pieces.

                                                                                      1. re: John E.
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                                                                                        Violatp RE: John E. Jan 20, 2013 04:42 PM

                                                                                        Oh, jeebus. I sometimes just am baffled by stuff like that! I mean, people have eaten food all their lives. I can understand not being able to recreate it, I guess, but to come up with something so random...

                                                                                        Yeah, I don't get it.

                                                                                        1. re: Violatp
                                                                                          KaimukiMan RE: Violatp Jan 20, 2013 05:58 PM

                                                                                          there is nothing common about common sense. just as someone who never drives has no idea how to find their way around, someone who never cooks can't find their way around a kitchen. eating and cooking are not at all the same thing.

                                                                                          1. re: KaimukiMan
                                                                                            John E. RE: KaimukiMan Jan 20, 2013 06:58 PM

                                                                                            I have an almost 87 year old aunt who has never liked to cook. Her idea of cooking is to put something from Schwan's Foods into the oven. After all these years, she still can't cook without a recipe. Of course, at 87 she can do as she pleases as far as I am concerned. She and my uncle were happily married for almost 30 years (FYI, they're still married and their wedding was in July of 1946).

                                                                                            1. re: John E.
                                                                                              DuchessNukem RE: John E. Jan 20, 2013 10:19 PM

                                                                                              Lovely about your aunt. And I agree, she can cook however makes her happy at this age. :)

                                                                                              But I've turned my head left, right, and back like a golden retriever trying to figure out which hand you've got the cheese hidden in... and I still can't do the math on your aunt/uncle wedding date/years of happiness. Did they stop being happy after 30 yrs? Did you type an erroneous number? Did I have an extra ounce in that last glass of wine?

                                                                                              1. re: DuchessNukem
                                                                                                hill food RE: DuchessNukem Jan 20, 2013 10:41 PM

                                                                                                DN - perhaps sometimes death does not "do us part"...

                                                                                                and John - ehh your sister was just making 'Poulet en Croute'. (that's what I'd claim if I was called out on it)

                                                                                                1. re: hill food
                                                                                                  r
                                                                                                  rccola RE: hill food Jan 21, 2013 08:03 AM

                                                                                                  I'd think it was more "Poulet avec Salmonella" than "Poulet en Croute" .

                                                                                                2. re: DuchessNukem
                                                                                                  John E. RE: DuchessNukem Jan 21, 2013 09:25 AM

                                                                                                  You caught my attempt at humor. My aunt and uncle have been bickering for decades. Not the endearing kind, but the nasty kind that makes you uncomfortable if you witness it. They have been basically leaading separate lives under the same roof for the past two decades. They both prepare meals and my uncle is better at it than my aunt.

                                                                                                  1. re: John E.
                                                                                                    DuchessNukem RE: John E. Jan 21, 2013 10:22 AM

                                                                                                    Ah, thank you, I needed closure lol.

                                                                                                    My mom had friends like that. Back in the day, good Catholics didn't divorce; made for some ugliness when visiting. Humans are a weird species.

                                                                                                    1. re: DuchessNukem
                                                                                                      John E. RE: DuchessNukem Jan 21, 2013 11:16 AM

                                                                                                      Did you hear about the 97 year old husband and his 96 year old wife who were getting a divorce? They wanted to wait until the kids were dead.

                                                                                                    2. re: John E.
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                                                                                                      luvcubs RE: John E. Mar 10, 2013 10:11 AM

                                                                                                      I have an aunt & uncle like that, and I told my son that if I ever heard him speak to his wife like that, I would haunt him. It was just so sad to listen to.

                                                                                                      1. re: luvcubs
                                                                                                        John E. RE: luvcubs Mar 10, 2013 10:52 AM

                                                                                                        My uncle died almost three weeks ago. He was a good guy and will be missed. I worry about his widow. She shouldn't be living alone but the only way she will leave her house is feet first on a gurney.

                                                                                                        1. re: John E.
                                                                                                          hill food RE: John E. Mar 10, 2013 07:46 PM

                                                                                                          John - oh wow. in a situation like that there probably was a lot of love (and co-dependence) not seen by outsiders. my grandparents fought bitterly every day, but when he passed she spent her years just waiting to join him.

                                                                                                          1. re: John E.
                                                                                                            Lillipop RE: John E. Mar 12, 2013 12:18 PM

                                                                                                            Hopefully you can check on her daily or hire someone local to spend an hour a day assisting with chores.....shopping for groceries....food prep etc.Can you blame her for not wanting to uproot *her* life that she has in that home?Let the woman have some solace and autonomy in her grief:(

                                                                                                            1. re: Lillipop
                                                                                                              John E. RE: Lillipop Mar 12, 2013 12:40 PM

                                                                                                              She's running out of money, but has real estate worth quite a bit. My uncle was trying to convince her that they should sell the place when the market was high, but she wouldn't even consider it. I live an hour away. She has immediate family nearby but has alienated most of them, but it's not like they don't go to her house. They're just tired of the abuse. She's not in any immediate danger or anything. She still drives into town. I don't have the answers for her problems, but we will visit on occasion.

                                                                                                              She has a freezer full of Schwann's frozen food so she isn't going to go hungry.

                                                                                                              1. re: John E.
                                                                                                                Lillipop RE: John E. Mar 12, 2013 01:50 PM

                                                                                                                Well hopefully her *alienated* family can cut a deal and take turns just checking on her.I hope things work out so that she can stay in her home for the remainder of her years and be comfortable.

                                                                                                                1. re: John E.
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                                                                                                                  sandylc RE: John E. Mar 12, 2013 04:59 PM

                                                                                                                  John, we "uprooted' my mom and brought her to MN to be near us. She, too, has alienated the entire family. She is a royal pain in the a$$. We are striving to keep a smile on our faces (not always successful) and making sure she eats, goes to the doc, socializes (good luck), etc.

                                                                                                                  What's wrong with that generation and are we going to be like that?

                                                                                                                  1. re: sandylc
                                                                                                                    hill food RE: sandylc Mar 12, 2013 06:00 PM

                                                                                                                    yes. we are. without diligence and work, we most certainly will become that person. I dread the idea of the loss of whimsy and cling to it as a drowning man will a raft.

                                                                                                                    John (and others) in many places (even the most fiscally conservative places) there are services for the elderly such as a subsidized shuttle service to get to a store, doctor etc. if advanced health issues become a problem, often visiting nurses through a hospice are available, if the aunt has real estate as mentioned, a reverse mortgage is a possibility (although I'd consult a good lawyer specializing in that situation), gets the mney and keeps the house. a relative did that when the market was high and got more than the dump was worth!

                                                                                                                    1. re: hill food
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                                                                                                                      sandylc RE: hill food Mar 12, 2013 06:18 PM

                                                                                                                      I am trying to view it as a great lesson in how NOT to be!

                                                                                                                    2. re: sandylc
                                                                                                                      John E. RE: sandylc Mar 12, 2013 07:27 PM

                                                                                                                      I just wrote a post explaining the faults of my aunt and then deleted it. I will say that she helped to raise four good kids (all years older than me) so she wasn't all bad.

                                                                                                                      I helped my father to take care of my mother the last years of her life and will say that while it was not easy, it was because of her poor health and not her attitude. She had dementia the last couple years and while she always had a good sense of humor, she got real funny late in life. She went into hysterics when I asked her why we should not let my father squeeze the oranges for juice. She always said he got too much pith in the juice ; )

                                                                                                                      1. re: John E.
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                                                                                                                        sandylc RE: John E. Mar 12, 2013 07:38 PM

                                                                                                                        A sense of humor is important. Thank you for reminding me.

                                                                                                                        1. re: sandylc
                                                                                                                          Lillipop RE: sandylc Mar 12, 2013 08:00 PM

                                                                                                                          That and remembering you are a fully functional adult trying to assist your not always very pleasant mother.I tend to be a push over for vulnerable people especially old folks and kids so set those boundaries.You have to be the tough one unfortunately but kiss and hug her as much as possible even if she is acting like a holy terror:):):)

                                                                                                                        2. re: John E.
                                                                                                                          Lillipop RE: John E. Mar 12, 2013 07:55 PM

                                                                                                                          You are a very good son.

                                                                                                  2. re: Hobbert
                                                                                                    EWSflash RE: Hobbert Jan 26, 2013 07:40 PM

                                                                                                    Ha- I had an old boyfriend who had lived in Italy so he felt he knew how to cook everything perfectly. He was raised by a really, really weird woman who couldn't cook, and was overcompensating. He made something (don't remember what, but it was a type of casserole), put it in the oven and we had a glass of wine. Eventually there were overcooking sounds coming from the oven, we began to eat, the dish was totally dry to the point of being burnt on top while the bottom was soggy still. Turns out he had turned the oven to "B" for Bake.
                                                                                                    I can't stand it when somebody doesn't have a sense of humor about themselves. We all goof up, why not learn from it and if possible, make it comedy?

                                                                                                    1. re: Hobbert
                                                                                                      nomnomnoms RE: Hobbert Jan 27, 2013 12:11 AM

                                                                                                      My husband is the same! He will offer to cook, but will scream for me every 5 minutes with questions like "how hot is medium heat?" "does this look browned?" "how thinly should I slice the onions?"
                                                                                                      Eventually, I punt him out of the kitchen and finish everything up...

                                                                                                      1. re: nomnomnoms
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                                                                                                        jujuthomas RE: nomnomnoms Jan 29, 2013 11:14 AM

                                                                                                        that sounds like my DH! there comes a point where it's just easier to do it yourself. He is the bomb when it comes to grilling and bbq, just don't ask him to make rice! :-D

                                                                                                        1. re: nomnomnoms
                                                                                                          John E. RE: nomnomnoms Jan 29, 2013 11:46 AM

                                                                                                          You remind me of a local talkshow host I sometimes listen to on the radio. Apparently this guy is pretty much useless in the kitchen. He told a story about he and his wife shopping for a new range. The salesman asked the couple what kind of range they had currently, meaning either gas or electric. His wife said to him, "Why don't you take this one?" I think she was having a little fun with him. He figured he had a 50/50 chance of getting it correct. The point was, he spent such little time in their kitchen (other than eating) that couldn't say with certainty whether they had a gas or electric range.

                                                                                                          I heard him tell this story on the radio twice. The second time he told the story to Anthony Bourdain who was in the studio promoting his TV show. I think Bourdain was appalled. He said something like everyone should know how to cook well enough so that they could cook a meal for their family if the main cook of the household was laid up or away from home. This talkshow guy seems to be the kind of guy who's wife prepares and labels food with reheating instructions if she is ever out of town.

                                                                                                          1. re: John E.
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                                                                                                            pine time RE: John E. Jan 29, 2013 11:58 AM

                                                                                                            After I had knee replacement surgery, Mr. Pine was in charge of feeding us for awhile (until I finally ended up hopping around the kitchen on a crutch). He made fried eggs--darkly browned--2x/day for the first week. Hence, my hopping on a crutch.

                                                                                                            1. re: pine time
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                                                                                                              jujuthomas RE: pine time Jan 29, 2013 12:07 PM

                                                                                                              i broke my foot a few years ago, we ordered a lot of (bad-choices are limited in our area) delivery food for those several weeks.

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                                                                                                        PotatoPuff RE: delys77 Jan 16, 2013 02:12 PM

                                                                                                        Knowing that my husband would do something like that, I try to talk him through any potential pitfalls first. For example, one time he offered to make garlic mashed potatoes, so I made him describe what he would do to make them. When he told me he would "hit them with a mallet on a cutting board, and then boil garlic and add it to the potatoes", I knew I would have to be a bit more specific.

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                                                                                                        1. re: PotatoPuff
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                                                                                                          Hobbert RE: PotatoPuff Jan 16, 2013 02:19 PM

                                                                                                          Haha sounds like my husband. I gave him a hands on lesson in using the garlic press so he could make a marinade the next day.

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                                                                                                          cheesecake17 RE: Morticia Jan 16, 2013 02:42 PM

                                                                                                          RemiƱds me of the time my husband decided to make the vegetable soup "better."

                                                                                                          I made a big pot of vegetable soup, put it up to simmer, and told him to stir every so often. Went out to an appointment. When I came back he kindly offered up several takeout menus. Turns out he went to stir and thought noodles would be good in the soup....so he added some. 2 boxes worth!!!!

                                                                                                          1. monfrancisco RE: delys77 Jan 16, 2013 02:56 PM

                                                                                                            Never to be forgotten: I came in one evening after buying a frozen lasagne and announced "Crap-- it's what's for dinner!", playing on a beef council ad that was ubiquitous at the time. My sweetheart was so disappointed when I pulled the stupid box out of the bag rather than the crustacean he'd been looking forward to. I'm pretty sure he's long over it, but it sort of haunts me-- such a gulf between the two.

                                                                                                            2 Replies
                                                                                                            1. re: monfrancisco
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                                                                                                              DGresh RE: monfrancisco Jan 16, 2013 02:58 PM

                                                                                                              I'd be disappointed too!

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                                                                                                                cleobeach RE: monfrancisco Jan 17, 2013 07:25 AM

                                                                                                                Mr. CB sit has PTSD over a frozen lasagne I made 3 years ago. I thought how bad could it be? It was pretty bad.

                                                                                                                Since that night, when I mentioned lasagne, he quickly says "I hope you're not making that frozen crap again."

                                                                                                              2. Sandwich_Sister RE: delys77 Jan 16, 2013 03:53 PM

                                                                                                                My mom would give my brother cash and have him go to the store.

                                                                                                                She gave him a 20 dollar bill and said, buy some rice. He came back with 20 dollars worth of rice.

                                                                                                                My husband and I cook together a lot and I think we get a little competitive. We are good at different things.

                                                                                                                He said taste this, tell me what you think it needs, or is missing. I said salt and maybe a touch more cayenne , I was in a different room and he went in added more salt and more cayenne. really quickly and stirred, which I didn't know. When he said, taste this and tell me what you think. I thought he hadn't heard me the first time and I said more salt and more cayenne and he said. Uh okay!

                                                                                                                He likes things a bit spicier than I do so he went with my request. I had to eat a lot of bread with that meal. Now we taste things in front of each other.

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                                                                                                                1. re: Sandwich_Sister
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                                                                                                                  mewright RE: Sandwich_Sister Jan 18, 2013 07:04 AM

                                                                                                                  I've had various experiences with grocery shopping and the men in my life. One son would be very likely to buy $20 worth of rice, so I have to be very explicit when i send him out. (In his favour, he believes in asking for help from the store staff, which I believe is almost unheard of in men). My other son wants to be told EXACTLY what to buy and is paralyzed if it isn't there.
                                                                                                                  When I first started shopping with my husband he was pretty well a random grocery shopper -- bought whatever he saw, no plans, questions or budget considerations. It used to drive me mad -- I am a menu planner and list maker. By the last going off, however, he could follow a list, shop for bargains, make substitutions and even think creatively about the marked-down veggie bin. I just had him all trained up -- and then he died, God bless him. (don't know if the training against his nature contributed to his death.....)

                                                                                                                  1. re: mewright
                                                                                                                    Sandwich_Sister RE: mewright Jan 18, 2013 02:15 PM

                                                                                                                    I'm sorry for you loss, but I must say your view is funny, fun and refreshing. Which makes me think you've really tapped into the memories and and at peace with his passing.

                                                                                                                    In a family where the mother mainly cooks and the sons don't grocery shop with a menu plan and only are asked to go out when an ingredient is missed. This might be common.

                                                                                                                    My Husband is a prime example as well. I make a list of ingredients, for things I'm going to make. He just goes to the store and buys whatever he likes.

                                                                                                                    I say "what are we going to do with that?" "I'll figure it out" he says.

                                                                                                                2. jmcarthur8 RE: delys77 Jan 16, 2013 04:43 PM

                                                                                                                  My sister sent her hubby out for Campbell's Bean & Bacon soup when she was feeling flu-ish once, and was jonesing for some comfort food. Hubby was gone for ages, and finally came back with nothing. He had looked all up and down the soup aisle and only saw "Bean 'with' Bacon" soup, not "Bean '&' Bacon" soup.
                                                                                                                  Poor thing. He was so confused about the whole episode.

                                                                                                                  In all the years we ate Campbell's Bean & Bacon growing up, and as an adult, I'd never even noticed the word 'with', either.

                                                                                                                  1. fldhkybnva RE: delys77 Jan 16, 2013 04:43 PM

                                                                                                                    SO can't be trusted with most shopping or cooking duties...he just tunes out so any instructions or guidance doesn't get through. He assumes it's all too complicated and difficult and so it's like I'm on mute.

                                                                                                                    1. jmcarthur8 RE: delys77 Jan 16, 2013 04:51 PM

                                                                                                                      My hubby has been Told - he may cook only if he follows a recipe. He may shop only with a list. Though he's pretty good at the 'orange sticker' items on markdown day at Kroger.
                                                                                                                      He's a loose cannon in the kitchen, and the store, so rules had to be made.
                                                                                                                      Since he's retired, and I'm not, he has kitchen duty pretty often. And he's not bad at it if he doesn't use his imagination.

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                                                                                                                      1. re: jmcarthur8
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                                                                                                                        Cachetes RE: jmcarthur8 Jan 16, 2013 04:59 PM

                                                                                                                        "He's a loose cannon"! Made me laugh. It reminded me of my husband. I'll text him to ask him to pick up milk on the way home, and he invariably comes in with three bags of things that "looked good." I counted just tonight - we have 8 bottles of jalapeno sauce and 6 mustards.

                                                                                                                      2. DuchessNukem RE: delys77 Jan 16, 2013 06:27 PM

                                                                                                                        Numerous shopping misunderstandings over the years; we've honed things to a fine point now ("ginger, 6" root"). But one time as a joke, I printed him out a short shopping list of maybe 7 items, with pictures of each item taken from the web.

                                                                                                                        Was funny to present to him; then he shared it with his buddies at the gym for the giggle. He still laughs too. He did say it was really easy to shop that day.

                                                                                                                        27 Replies
                                                                                                                        1. re: DuchessNukem
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                                                                                                                          Spice_zing RE: DuchessNukem Jan 16, 2013 07:05 PM

                                                                                                                          Same here Duchess. Mr. Spice does a lot of the grocery shopping and has learned well. For a trip to the bulk food store I needed an assortment of whole spices and I taped the actual spice (allspice, cardamom, coriander) next to the name. It was so much easier for him and guaranteed that he bought whole spices instead of ground.

                                                                                                                          1. re: DuchessNukem
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                                                                                                                            Hobbert RE: DuchessNukem Jan 16, 2013 07:14 PM

                                                                                                                            Haha yes! On the rare occasion he has to do the shopping, I make grocery lists for my husband with the aisle noted and a description of the package included.

                                                                                                                            1. re: Hobbert
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                                                                                                                              cleobeach RE: Hobbert Jan 17, 2013 04:06 AM

                                                                                                                              Packaging descriptions and/or pictures on the shopping list would save everyone's sanity. As well as a permission slip to buy only certain items.

                                                                                                                              1. re: cleobeach
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                                                                                                                                Hobbert RE: cleobeach Jan 17, 2013 06:08 AM

                                                                                                                                Definitely!

                                                                                                                                1. re: cleobeach
                                                                                                                                  tcamp RE: cleobeach Jan 17, 2013 06:12 AM

                                                                                                                                  I like the idea of permission slips! My husband does most of the shopping due to work schedules. He does a decent job as long as I've given him a very detailed list of what I want. Still, he is prone to random acts - box of persimmons, bag of chestnuts, odd and colorful cereals, none of which were on THE LIST. The only funny mixups I can recall involve produce - avocados instead of artichokes, garlic instead of ginger, parsley instead of cilantro. He "forgot" to check the list and was working from memory.

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                                                                                                                                    cleobeach RE: tcamp Jan 17, 2013 06:39 AM

                                                                                                                                    You know, just imagine the howls of protest if this was reversed, comments about not allowing women to do the shopping or needing permission slips!

                                                                                                                                    Is it a gender thing, men losing their minds in the grocery store? Either not being able to find items or buying too much?

                                                                                                                                    I won't say anything on here that I won't say to my dear husband. His bad shopping behavior is an on going joke in our marriage.

                                                                                                                                    The last time I was desperate and sent him (and our 7yo) to the store together, they partically skipped out the door with glee at the thought of being "let loose" in the grocery store. I remember multiple boxes of ice cream sandwiches....

                                                                                                                                    1. re: cleobeach
                                                                                                                                      tcamp RE: cleobeach Jan 17, 2013 06:59 AM

                                                                                                                                      I can't speak in general terms but my husband doesn't really care much about food or cooking so he doesn't apply his full brain to it. Food is food. Garlic, ginger, whatever. In an ideal world, I'd do all the shopping and cooking because I love food. However, that pesky employment situation...

                                                                                                                                      There is also some of junk food issue at play. When I shop, he complains that I don't buy ice cream (I don't eat it). "It wasn't on the list, " I reply. "You should know that we ALWAYS need ice cream," says he.

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                                                                                                                                        mandymoo RE: tcamp Feb 1, 2013 05:06 AM

                                                                                                                                        <<When I shop, he complains that I don't buy ice cream (I don't eat it). "It wasn't on the list, " I reply. "You should know that we ALWAYS need ice cream," says he.>>

                                                                                                                                        This exact same scenario plays out at my house all the time. I do all the shopping and my husband and sons have been told for years to write what they want on the list or it will not be purchased. Invariably my husband will eat the last of the ice cream (he's the only that eats it) and not put it on the list. He gives me the "seriously?!" look when I come without a carton...apparently I should know that we always need ice cream!

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                                                                                                                                          MonMauler RE: mandymoo Feb 1, 2013 09:46 PM

                                                                                                                                          In all seriousness, if you always have ice cream in the fridge and are out when you go to buy groceries, you should probably pick up ice cream, regardless of whether or not you eat it. For example, when I go to the store to buy beer I always pick up soda because I know that one of my girlfriends will drink it, even though I rarely drink soda myself.

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                                                                                                                                            mandymoo RE: MonMauler Feb 2, 2013 06:17 AM

                                                                                                                                            You are correct, not everything I buy is something that I personally eat. The reason things happen to be left out though is because I do not typically go through cabinets and the fridge before I leave to do the shopping as I write down what I need as I go along throughout the week. Most of the time I do not even realize we are out of ice cream! I do have a chest freezer in the garage though so maybe I should start just buying a carton at each trip....or my husband could just conform to the list :)

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                                                                                                                                              MonMauler RE: mandymoo Feb 2, 2013 06:39 AM

                                                                                                                                              That's understandable. I am usually only shopping for myself (and maybe a potential guest) so I often don't have a list, and even then I often forget stuff. If I regularly shopped for more than just myself I could definitely see the value of keeping a running list and would be frustrated if someone didn't put their required item/s on it when we ran out, especially if I am to be castigated for forgetting said item/s.

                                                                                                                                              1. re: mandymoo
                                                                                                                                                sunshine842 RE: mandymoo Feb 2, 2013 10:08 AM

                                                                                                                                                but if there's only one person doing the shopping for the entire household....

                                                                                                                                                My mom and dad have always had a slightly strange, but completely efficient system.

                                                                                                                                                My dad leaves the empty container (shaving cream, shampoo, ice cream, milk) -- sitting on the cabinet in the room that it's used (he rinses stuff that had food in it).

                                                                                                                                                My mom sees the empty container and it makes it onto the list (and I've never seen her write it down....)

                                                                                                                                                1. re: sunshine842
                                                                                                                                                  monfrancisco RE: sunshine842 Feb 2, 2013 03:09 PM

                                                                                                                                                  This works like a charm! The Mr doesn't have to remember to tell me or leave me a note. I, too, thought it was strange at first but am a convert. Charcoal, though, does rate an audible.

                                                                                                                                                  1. re: monfrancisco
                                                                                                                                                    MidwesternerTT RE: monfrancisco Feb 11, 2013 08:24 AM

                                                                                                                                                    Hmm - I wonder if the empty container on the counter is an engineer trait. It works in our household too. We've tried the "write it on the list" strategy but the menu plans and freezer/fridge inventory sheets are also on the side of the fridge and I've found the oddest items added to those.

                                                                                                                                                    1. re: MidwesternerTT
                                                                                                                                                      melpy RE: MidwesternerTT Mar 5, 2013 11:23 AM

                                                                                                                                                      My favorite additions to lists are inappropriate but one was up for months be for I saw it.

                                                                                                                                                      Soylent Green something or other- added by my best friend's husband.

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                                                                                                                                                        Vidute RE: melpy Mar 5, 2013 07:10 PM

                                                                                                                                                        Seems like your best friend's husband is a real people person!

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                                                                                                                                                          givemecarbs RE: melpy Mar 6, 2013 06:16 PM

                                                                                                                                                          Once in my household "snacks" was added to the list but misspelled as SNAKES. Yikes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                                                                                                                                                    2. re: sunshine842
                                                                                                                                                      Midknight RE: sunshine842 Mar 6, 2013 06:17 AM

                                                                                                                                                      Sunshine, it sounds to me like he might simply be too lazy to throw the empty containers out. ;)
                                                                                                                                                      lol

                                                                                                                                                      1. re: Midknight
                                                                                                                                                        sunshine842 RE: Midknight Mar 6, 2013 06:54 AM

                                                                                                                                                        Not even by the wildest dream of a vivid imagination.

                                                                                                                                            2. re: cleobeach
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                                                                                                                                              Hobbert RE: cleobeach Jan 17, 2013 07:02 AM

                                                                                                                                              Very true. I'm sure there are many people of both sexes who can't cook or find their way through a grocery store. I can only speak to my family and friends. This thread made me think and I asked my husband how he's gotten by without really learning to cook and his answer made sense- his mom cooked when he was a kid, he went straight into the Marine Corps just after high school and got married. Between his first wife and me, he ate a lot of takeout and boiled chicken (ugh). He enjoys what I cook but would happily eat the same thing for weeks on end if left to his own devices. As for my dad...he only grocery shopped when my mom was out of town and it was great for us kids! Chips, ice cream, Hamburger Helper- all the "good" stuff Mom wouldn't let us have :)

                                                                                                                                              1. re: Hobbert
                                                                                                                                                pinehurst RE: Hobbert Jan 17, 2013 07:31 AM

                                                                                                                                                Oh, so true. When my husband was single, he subsisted for weeks on pretzels and cheerios.

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                                                                                                                                                  mandymoo RE: pinehurst Feb 1, 2013 05:07 AM

                                                                                                                                                  Mine ate out or had cereal. I had no idea a person could live off of Frosted Flakes for almost 40 years.

                                                                                                                                              2. re: cleobeach
                                                                                                                                                tracylee RE: cleobeach Jan 17, 2013 01:11 PM

                                                                                                                                                My ex-husband retired while I was still working full time, so he did the grocery shopping while I worked. I asked him to wait until I was home, but he insisted that taking me shopping was too expensive. I'd buy things that were more interesting than his limited menu of things he'd eat.

                                                                                                                                                The same thing goes on with my parents, although my Mom really doesn't like to grocery shop, so they're more comfortable with it. At one point this last year, I couldn't drive, so I had to go shopping with my folks. I'd have a list. Dad's a turbo-shopper. He'd look at the next item on the list, run off and grab the closest one. I didn't tell him I wanted shelf-stable soy milk and not refrigerated. Every item on the list was like that.

                                                                                                                                              3. re: tcamp
                                                                                                                                                sunshine842 RE: tcamp Jan 17, 2013 08:59 AM

                                                                                                                                                I can't blame anybody for crisscrossing cilantro and parsley -- all it takes is a scrambled herb display (multiple causes) or a moment's distraction to screw that up -- pretty sure we've all done it once or twice.

                                                                                                                                                1. re: sunshine842
                                                                                                                                                  tcamp RE: sunshine842 Jan 17, 2013 10:48 AM

                                                                                                                                                  And if you don't really have a sense of smell, it is pretty much a 50-50 venture.

                                                                                                                                                  1. re: tcamp
                                                                                                                                                    sunshine842 RE: tcamp Jan 17, 2013 12:31 PM

                                                                                                                                                    oh yes -- head cold and/or allergies, too!

                                                                                                                                          2. re: DuchessNukem
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                                                                                                                                            cheesecake17 RE: DuchessNukem Jan 17, 2013 06:02 AM

                                                                                                                                            I've texted pictures while he was out shopping. He claimed it helped, but he still came home with the industrial size ketchup. "But you like ketchup!"

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                                                                                                                                            Nanaimosq RE: delys77 Jan 16, 2013 07:20 PM

                                                                                                                                            My dh is a terrific cook but does a family of four really need nine liters of olive oil in the pantry?

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                                                                                                                                            1. re: Nanaimosq
                                                                                                                                              tcamp RE: Nanaimosq Jan 17, 2013 06:01 AM

                                                                                                                                              Sometimes I am shocked by the amount of olive oil my family of 4 goes through.

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                                                                                                                                              thinks too much RE: delys77 Jan 17, 2013 06:39 AM

                                                                                                                                              Boy I needed this today! Yesterday, he gets home early enough to do our CSA pickup, so I don't have to take a break from work and drive down. He asks if we should meet, but I say that I have faith in him, thinking about what would and wouldn't be available. I know, famous last words.

                                                                                                                                              We've been trying to kill an enormous head of napa before it gets ugly on us It has a shorter half-life than the green cabbage waiting behind it. There is still 1/3 napa left. So he brings home another enormous head of napa, since we were clearly eating that, but not the green cabbage behind it.

                                                                                                                                              We have been enjoying the sweet dumpling squash with the edible rind. I don't especially care for acorn squash; I find it bitter. What does he bring home? Acorn squash that is colored like a sweet dumpling squash, but shaped like acorn. He got quite indignant and said that he had pointedly avoided the acorn (dark green) squash.

                                                                                                                                              We have one orange carrot left. He mentioned it that very morning. So he proudly announced that he had only gotten red and yellow carrots because we had just gotten a whole bag of orange carrots. He deflated that we had both purchased and eaten the orange carrots. The CSA orange carrots are the sweetest loveliest things. The red and yellow: party tricks without the flavor.

                                                                                                                                              Yep. I now have faith in him to come up with recipes for that damn napa cabbage.

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                                                                                                                                              1. re: thinks too much
                                                                                                                                                splatgirl RE: thinks too much Jan 17, 2013 10:23 AM

                                                                                                                                                egg rolls

                                                                                                                                                1. re: thinks too much
                                                                                                                                                  pdxgastro RE: thinks too much Jan 30, 2013 10:40 PM

                                                                                                                                                  Saute it in bacon grease. Yum.

                                                                                                                                                2. j
                                                                                                                                                  julesrules RE: delys77 Jan 17, 2013 08:19 AM

                                                                                                                                                  I was stuck breastfeeding a hungry newborn in the next room so I asked him to make the simple carbonara I had planned. We had both bresaola and pancetta in the fridge, both new items for us. He used the bresaola by accident. Not good, if you were wondering :)

                                                                                                                                                  1. splatgirl RE: delys77 Jan 17, 2013 10:41 AM

                                                                                                                                                    My weirdest one circa 1993:
                                                                                                                                                    I sent BF to the store for cocktail sauce for the shrimp cocktail I was planning for some gathering. He came back with a can of fruit cocktail. When questioned, he said in his family that was called "fruit sauce". How he thought that would go with shrimp cocktail I have no idea.

                                                                                                                                                    Last summer I sent splatboy out to the garden with the instruction: "Cut me a few sprigs of regular basil and one of Thai basil"
                                                                                                                                                    He came in with one sprig each of bolted arugula, carrot top, and pigweed. I'm still trying to figure out that logic.

                                                                                                                                                    I don't know what stresses him out more, the garden or the grocery store. We have hops vines planted next to our house for facade greening with ropes for them to grow up. It totally freaks him out that the individual shoots don't grow according to his precise rules. "...but they each have an assigned rope, and now one rope has more than another" or "that one is trying to SWITCH ropes".

                                                                                                                                                    2 Replies
                                                                                                                                                    1. re: splatgirl
                                                                                                                                                      tcamp RE: splatgirl Jan 17, 2013 10:50 AM

                                                                                                                                                      Pigweed pesto - maybe splat boy is onto something. A vegetable idiot savant!!!

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                                                                                                                                                        monfrancisco RE: splatgirl Jan 17, 2013 11:42 AM

                                                                                                                                                        That business with the hops is hilarious! Thanks for the laugh.

                                                                                                                                                      2. boyzoma RE: delys77 Jan 17, 2013 10:59 AM

                                                                                                                                                        As I said up thread, DH likes to shop. As in groceries, clothes, you name it, he'll shop for it. Myself - hate it! But in grocery shopping, we use an app called Grocery IQ. I make a list on my computer (which even gives brand names so there is no mistake) and he reads the app on his phone at the store. Everything is sorted by type (i.e. deli, dairy, canned goods, frozen foods, meats & fish, etc.) so 98% of the time it's all good. That said, he does often pick up stuff "cause it looked good". And we end up with things like "frozen corn dogs" or "Totino's Pizza Bites" that nobody ends up eating!

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                                                                                                                                                          FattyDumplin RE: delys77 Jan 17, 2013 11:18 AM

                                                                                                                                                          I'm the cook in the house. My wife is not as adept in the kitchen. Back when we were dating, while in grad school, we were cooking together in my small studio kitchen. At some point, I told her she needed to get out of the kitchen because it was making me claustrophobic. I obviously meant it in the physical sense because it was a small kitchen, but she took it to mean much more than that and somehow related it back to our relationship as a whole. Not a fun evening... Sheesh, women.

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                                                                                                                                                            lrhr RE: delys77 Jan 17, 2013 12:15 PM

                                                                                                                                                            I made mashed potatoes occasionally and figured DH had seen enough to know the basic recipe. I asked him to finish prepping them one night while I did other tasks. He drained them (two medium sized), mashed them, added dairy and salt.

                                                                                                                                                            I take a bite, and holy cow, they are the best mashed potatoes I have ever had. And the richest. By far the richest and creamiest mashed potatoes I have ever had.

                                                                                                                                                            "how much butter did you put in here?"
                                                                                                                                                            "one stick".

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                                                                                                                                                            1. re: lrhr
                                                                                                                                                              splatgirl RE: lrhr Jan 17, 2013 12:47 PM

                                                                                                                                                              LOL! He can make them from now on!

                                                                                                                                                              Reminds me of splatboy vs. the microwave. For some reason, he missed that class when he was a kid.
                                                                                                                                                              Imagine splatboy wants to reheat single portion of a leftover food item in the microwave: "How long should I put this _____ in for, like 10 minutes?"
                                                                                                                                                              me: "um...sure, if you want to start it on fire, but one minute should be plenty for just getting it hot."

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                                                                                                                                                                Cachetes RE: splatgirl Jan 17, 2013 01:07 PM

                                                                                                                                                                Oh, this reminded me of a story that involved an ex-boyfriend and his grandmother. I was visiting his family for a holiday, and his grandmother was cooking the asparagus. She innocently asked my boyfriend (who liked to cook), "Sweetie, how long should these be steaming?" He asked back, "Not too long, how long have they been on?" She responded, "22 minutes."

                                                                                                                                                                "22 Minutes!!! Grandma, get them off!"

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                                                                                                                                                                  HillsofBeverly RE: Cachetes Mar 12, 2013 12:59 PM

                                                                                                                                                                  Barf! Now that my Mom is over 70, she's started boiling corn on the cob for 10+ minutes (or until it tastes like a dish rag). Wonder if the gross overcooking is age related?

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                                                                                                                                                                    sandylc RE: HillsofBeverly Mar 12, 2013 05:00 PM

                                                                                                                                                                    More generation-related, I think. That's how it used to be done.

                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: sandylc
                                                                                                                                                                      sunshine842 RE: sandylc Mar 13, 2013 12:23 AM

                                                                                                                                                                      yes - when that generation was learning to cook, you boiled the hell out of everything. Even the grandmother who was in every other way a stellar cook,, boiled the beejeebers out of vegetables.

                                                                                                                                                                      I remember the first time I served my grandmother steamed carrots (crisp-tender) -- she complained that they were undercooked.

                                                                                                                                                                      It's just the way they were taught.

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                                                                                                                                                                        sandylc RE: sunshine842 Mar 13, 2013 09:47 AM

                                                                                                                                                                        The first time I was at my grandparents after my *vegetable enlightenment* I picked some young, tender green beans from the garden and steamed them and ate them with butter and salt. My grandmother was horrified; you're supposed to let them grow big and tough, then boil them for hours. She muttered that they would make me sick - !

                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: sandylc
                                                                                                                                                                          sunshine842 RE: sandylc Mar 13, 2013 09:50 AM

                                                                                                                                                                          I do still stew green beans in the summer, though -- yes, they're overcooked. Yes, they're cooked with onions and bacon.

                                                                                                                                                                          Yes, they're delicious.

                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: sandylc
                                                                                                                                                                            KaimukiMan RE: sandylc Jun 7, 2013 07:02 AM

                                                                                                                                                                            Yep, grandpa grew some wonderful green beans (pole beans he called them) Let em get nice and mature, then grandma would put them on the stove with a LOT of salt and boil them till the water they were in was a deep green. At that point the beans were grayish drab. My father still hates all vegetables, I'm convinced its because of the way grandma cooked them.

                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: KaimukiMan
                                                                                                                                                                              sunshine842 RE: KaimukiMan Jun 7, 2013 07:52 PM

                                                                                                                                                                              eh - you're missing the bacon and onions. They would be pretty nasty with just loads of salt!

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                                                                                                                                                                                KaimukiMan RE: sunshine842 Jun 9, 2013 07:36 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                sometimes things were sauteed in bacon fat, onion was unheard of in her kitchen except possibly for stew.

                                                                                                                                                                        2. re: sandylc
                                                                                                                                                                          Midknight RE: sandylc Mar 13, 2013 09:29 AM

                                                                                                                                                                          Agreed. My parents also boil them for about an hour. It was fine for me growing up...until I tried eating it the "right" way when I got older. :)

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                                                                                                                                                                            sandylc RE: Midknight Mar 13, 2013 09:45 AM

                                                                                                                                                                            Ugh. Never liked them that way. At only raw vegetables growing up. Aside from corn. Which isn't a vegetable, anyway.

                                                                                                                                                                  2. re: lrhr
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                                                                                                                                                                    kmcarr RE: lrhr Jan 17, 2013 12:59 PM

                                                                                                                                                                    I don't get it..what was his screw up? <grin>

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                                                                                                                                                                      lrhr RE: kmcarr Jan 17, 2013 01:52 PM

                                                                                                                                                                      if only i were willing to go to the gym every single day for several hours of cardio, i would have him make those potatoes every night.

                                                                                                                                                                    2. re: lrhr
                                                                                                                                                                      GraydonCarter RE: lrhr Jan 18, 2013 08:14 PM

                                                                                                                                                                      This is Gordon Ramsay's secret to great mashed potatoes... no milk, just a ton of butter.

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                                                                                                                                                                        keith RE: lrhr Jan 29, 2013 12:51 PM

                                                                                                                                                                        Sounds like Joel Robuchon's famous mashed potatoes. 2 parts butter to 1 part potatoes. Perfect. Little did you know your husband was actually a 3 michelin star worthy chef.

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                                                                                                                                                                        gourmanda RE: delys77 Jan 17, 2013 02:17 PM

                                                                                                                                                                        The first few times DH offered to go to the grocery store for me I said, "great! thank you! here is the list." He then proceeded to call me from the store and kept me on the phone through each aisle as he went down the list. After the second time I said, "No, that's okay but thank you". OTOH, he's great at finding COSTCO bargains and when we go on vacation and rent a condo. he goes to the store while I empty the luggage. He comes back with the most marvelous goodies that I wouldn't have spent the money on. He also buys great fish at the fish shack!

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                                                                                                                                                                          CanadaGirl RE: gourmanda Jan 17, 2013 02:57 PM

                                                                                                                                                                          I get the same phone calls! I have a general idea of where things are, but my DH seems to think I have the entire shelf structure of all the neighbourhood grocery stores memorized.

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                                                                                                                                                                            mandymoo RE: gourmanda Feb 1, 2013 05:13 AM

                                                                                                                                                                            My husband does the phone thing too and cannot understand why I don't want to (literally) talk him through the grocery list....um, if I had time to do that I could have just gone myself!

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                                                                                                                                                                            escondido123 RE: delys77 Jan 17, 2013 08:53 PM

                                                                                                                                                                            Gee, I didn't realize this was going to turn into bash your husbands/aren't they stupid post. My husband does most of the shopping and the biggest misunderstanding occurs when either of us goes out without the grocery list. That usually means we end up buying duplicates of items each of us has mentioned we needed. My husband is a gem and I am delighted he likes to cook at much, if not more than I do so he's as good at shopping as I am.

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                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: escondido123
                                                                                                                                                                              DuchessNukem RE: escondido123 Jan 17, 2013 09:26 PM

                                                                                                                                                                              My husband's pretty fantastic too but he's a lousy supermarket shopper; he agrees, and I don't bash him over it. He laughs at me when I try to shop for high technology. I think that the stories here just reflect that there is for many, a rather traditional separation of duties and a different mindset of men and women. Viva la difference, rather than bashing.

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                                                                                                                                                                                mariacarmen RE: DuchessNukem Jan 19, 2013 02:24 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                i agree, most people here seem to be sharing stories of simple mishaps, with a lot of warmth and humor. i see no bashing here.

                                                                                                                                                                                i am lucky tho: the BF of 10 years loves to cook, is a great one, makes food look prettier than i can make it, and is a good, thorough, selective, and money-saving shopper.

                                                                                                                                                                                but i'm totally enjoying these fun stories!

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                                                                                                                                                                                Cachetes RE: escondido123 Jan 18, 2013 07:14 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                I don't think it's that. An example: my husband and I have a term for when we are shopping that is called "calamari moments". It refers back to one of the first days when we went shopping together, ten years ago now (!), when he want off to buy some frozen calamari. I find him there, 15 minutes later, still scanning his options (of which there are maybe 2 or 3). He just got caught up in the moment and wanted to take a look at all of the seafood options, much to my frustration. I love the man for being so interested in food that he wants to take as much time as it takes to learn about each item. At the same time, we need to get moving! So, now, when we enter a store together, it's always prefaced with, "No calamari moments!" It's a loving nudge.

                                                                                                                                                                                In return, every time I ask him to put music on, he asks if he should put in the "cassette", since it took me until about 2008 to stop calling CDs records or cassettes.

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                                                                                                                                                                                  mewright RE: Cachetes Jan 18, 2013 09:03 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                  To be fair, I've had negative grocery/cooking experiences with females as well -- different styles of cooking, maybe, or perhaps just a teeny-tiny bit of condescension on my part.

                                                                                                                                                                                  I think there can be power relationships in these processes that are played out differently between partners (of whatever gender), roommates, children, and other people who regularly share the use and benefits of a kitchen. (All the same, some of this stuff is just hilarious!)

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                                                                                                                                                                                    delys77 RE: mewright Jan 18, 2013 11:05 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                    Oh most definitely. My original post wasn't intended to be negative about men since I am a man myself. As a gay couple we are both men in the kitchen, but I have a love for food and cooking whereas my partner has only a love for eating. Hence his confusion over what I would normally consider relatively simple kitchen/shopping instructions. It isn't because he is a man, it is because he doesn't pay much attention to the process, only the results of cooking.

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                                                                                                                                                                                      Gio RE: delys77 Jan 18, 2013 11:48 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                      Well now That I can relate to, Delys. Until only 6-ish years ago my husband only went into the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee. Suddenly I found myself incapable of standing for a long time and he jumped in to help. Now he can use a wok, cook a flawless pot of rice, make a killer Arrabbiata sauce.

                                                                                                                                                                                      We've had our little, ahem, Kitchen Misunderstandings (an understatement if ever there was one) but manage to get through it all...

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                                                                                                                                                                                        delys77 RE: Gio Jan 18, 2013 02:25 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                        That's what a partner is for right, to be a help mate. A very old fashioned expression, but a very true one I would hope.

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                                                                                                                                                                                          happybaker RE: delys77 Jan 18, 2013 06:07 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                          Help Mate.

                                                                                                                                                                                          Yes indeed. And old phrase but a happily true one.

                                                                                                                                                                                    2. re: mewright
                                                                                                                                                                                      IndyGirl RE: mewright Jan 18, 2013 03:25 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                      Certainly. For Christmas dinner once I agreed to make a huge butternut squash lasagna as the main dinner item. My mother bought a half-ton of feta cheese, not ricotta. Since everything was closed on Christmas day, one of my siblings had to go buy several gallons of whole milk from a gas station that was 20 miles away so I could MAKE homemade ricotta (which turned out fabulously, but still!!!)

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                                                                                                                                                                                    Isolda RE: escondido123 Jan 18, 2013 10:25 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                    I don't think of this as bashing, so much as acknowledgement of differences in communication and thinking. My husband is allowed to grocery shop only if I approve the list first (Please, no generic cereals or flour no matter how cheap they are. There is a reason why some things are cheap.). I am strictly forbidden to buy anything electronic after a series of cordless phone disasters.

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                                                                                                                                                                                      pine time RE: escondido123 Jan 18, 2013 01:58 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                      While I did give the not-too-bright examples from Mr. Pine, in no way did I intend to bash him--he has amazing abilities in areas in which I'm a total dolt, so we make a nice, balanced team. He's also a gem, just not in the kitchen! And our 39th anniversary is next week.

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                                                                                                                                                                                        juliejulez RE: pine time Jan 18, 2013 02:33 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                        ^^This. Aside from cooking/grocery shopping, I'm the biggest airhead on the planet :) This morning alone I forgot to put on earrings which resulted in me having to go back upstairs, then when I left the house and got about 4 blocks away I realized I forgot to grab my breakfast sandwich, then after I picked up the sandwich, I forgot to close the garage door (thankfully today is SO's last "work at home" day so he was around to close it, no idea what I'm going to do after he starts traveling for work during the week). I am also terrible with names and remembering dates unless I have it written down. My mother is the same way. My brother and I used to tease her about it but now I'm finding I'm that way too, and it's kind of scaring me, I'm turning into my mother!

                                                                                                                                                                                        He never forgets anything. And he's a brilliant computer guy who graduated college at 20, but is also a great hockey player.

                                                                                                                                                                                        Pine, congrats on your 39th anniversary :)

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                                                                                                                                                                                      piano boy RE: delys77 Jan 18, 2013 12:22 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                      I asked my girlfriend to grate some carrots for a carrot cake. She asked which grater to use, I said "the smaller one".

                                                                                                                                                                                      When I got home I stared at a bowl of carrot puree and asked what had happened. She held up the microplane and said "I used the smaller grater like you told me to!"

                                                                                                                                                                                      She got points for sitting there for an hour putting a pound of carrots through it because she didn't want to disappoint. I did clarify for next time what I meant by smaller grater though.

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                                                                                                                                                                                        tcamp RE: piano boy Jan 18, 2013 07:33 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                        Yes, food-related cluelessness knows no gender boundaries. GF does sound like a very patient person.

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                                                                                                                                                                                          sunshine842 RE: tcamp Jan 18, 2013 08:31 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                          and, piano boy, you were very kind to not laugh...YOU might have been the next thing she microplaned.

                                                                                                                                                                                      2. KaimukiMan RE: delys77 Jan 18, 2013 12:22 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                        I'm surprised no one has posted this link yet, or maybe I just missed it. I've watched it a few times and still laughed so hard I cried.

                                                                                                                                                                                        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YFRUS...

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                                                                                                                                                                                          cleobeach RE: KaimukiMan Jan 18, 2013 04:19 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                          I never saw that before. I am going to share it with Mr. CB.

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                                                                                                                                                                                            hill food RE: KaimukiMan Jan 18, 2013 04:53 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                            she does have a good delivery.

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                                                                                                                                                                                              Gio RE: KaimukiMan Jan 18, 2013 05:28 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                              Thanks KaimukMan... I've never heard of her. That was hilarious!

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                                                                                                                                                                                                Isolda RE: KaimukiMan Jan 18, 2013 09:57 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                That was hilarious! Her accent made it perfect!

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                                                                                                                                                                                                  rabaja RE: KaimukiMan Jan 18, 2013 10:39 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                  Oh my gosh, I loved that.
                                                                                                                                                                                                  I could listen to her all day!

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                                                                                                                                                                                                    lisavf RE: KaimukiMan Jan 18, 2013 01:47 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                    OMG, my co-worker thinks I have officially lost my mind. I haven't laughed that hard in ages!

                                                                                                                                                                                                    "Is there an epidemic?" I can't stop giggling!

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                                                                                                                                                                                                      boyzoma RE: KaimukiMan Jan 18, 2013 02:46 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                      OMG - I laughed so hard I now have to go do laundry! Thanks for sharing.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                        IndyGirl RE: KaimukiMan Jan 18, 2013 03:15 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                        that is hilarious!!

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                                                                                                                                                                                                          happybaker RE: KaimukiMan Jan 18, 2013 06:10 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                          I've never heard of this gal - and now I am a fan!

                                                                                                                                                                                                          My favorite part was when the husband admitted he'd figured out what he'd done wrong but by THEN...

                                                                                                                                                                                                          Meantime, we need her to post that pound cake recipe : )

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                                                                                                                                                                                                            KaimukiMan RE: happybaker Jan 18, 2013 06:39 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                            I'm thinking his next trip was to the appliance store to buy a chest freezer to store all the pound cakes she made with 200 pounds of ingredients.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                              happybaker RE: KaimukiMan Jan 18, 2013 08:47 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                              : )

                                                                                                                                                                                                              !!!!!

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                                                                                                                                                                                                            monfrancisco RE: KaimukiMan Jan 20, 2013 02:26 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                            She's great! And my personal take-- many years ago, a bunch of us were going to a baseball game and one of our number faxed an order to a BBQ joint for pick-up on our way to the park. Well, yeah: 1) Ribs Combo 2) Hot Links 3) Mild Links; and so on. Way more bags of stuff than were expected, but okay... Other people in our section were very happy that day.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                              Vidute RE: KaimukiMan Jan 24, 2013 12:23 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                              just had abdominal surgery, monday. so.....don't know whether to thank you or curse you!

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                jlhinwa RE: KaimukiMan Feb 1, 2013 06:10 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                Absolutely hilarious! Thank you for sharing!! I've now watched it three times and I am still laughing.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                Scooter8 RE: delys77 Jan 18, 2013 05:12 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                This doesn't involve my significant other, but a well meaning older husband armed with a list from his wife. I first noticed him in the feminine hygiene product aisle (that can't go well) literally scratching his head and referring over and over to his list. I finally asked him if I could help and he said he needed something with "wings". I showed him a few different things and he made a selection and moved on. I then saw him in the baking aisle with the same perplexed head scratching and he said he was trying to find the "Old Purple Flour". I live in the south and we have a lot of local products in our store so I started to hunt for it, in my head repeating "Old Purple Flour" and then I asked him if maybe he needed "All Purpose Flour" and he said, "That must have been what she said." So again, I showed him the different brands. I asked him if there was anything else on his list he wasn't sure about and he said there was one thing, it said, "return lock" and he had no idea what that was or where to find it in the store. I asked if he had something at home he needed to return and he said, "Dammit, I left it on the counter." He was a very sweet and well intentioned man and I hope his wife was happy with what he came home with. But I can see how the grocery lists with photos can help.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                  tcamp RE: Scooter8 Jan 18, 2013 07:32 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Good thing you assisted him!

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                    juliejulez RE: Scooter8 Jan 18, 2013 02:37 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Heh, reminds me of a guy I saw the other day at the store. He looked like a blue collar type guy, probably in his 40s or 50s, wandering around the store with a pink smart phone, trying to find things that were on, what I'm assuming, a list his wife made on her phone and then sent him to the store to get them. He looked so confused, I should have offered to help him.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                      cleobeach RE: juliejulez Jan 18, 2013 04:11 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Recently a man I know from the community stopped me in the grocery store to ask if strawberry ice cream was a good substitute for orange sherbert.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      He already had it in the cart and was headed towards the check out.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      When I asked if she was making punch, he said yes. I walked him back to the freezer case and picked out sherbert for him.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                        happybaker RE: cleobeach Jan 18, 2013 06:11 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Cleo, you were an angel that day!

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                          KaimukiMan RE: cleobeach Jan 18, 2013 06:44 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          did you let him keep the strawberry or make him put it back?

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                            happybaker RE: KaimukiMan Jan 18, 2013 08:48 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Oh I think she made him put it back. Gently.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            That's why she's an angel!

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                              cleobeach RE: happybaker Jan 19, 2013 05:35 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Yes I did suggest he leave the strawberry ice cream. I know his kids and step kids and that his wife was doing up a big meal. I actually said to him "Ann probably has enough in the freezer"

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                KaimukiMan RE: cleobeach Jan 19, 2013 08:25 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                :-(

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                sigh, probably for the best.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                        ricepad RE: Scooter8 Jan 18, 2013 03:02 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        I can relate to the feminine hygiene products. Mrs. ricepad has given up asking me to get them. It's not that I'm unwilling - I'm more than happy to get them for her - but no matter how hard I try, I always end up buying the wrong kind. The only time I got it right was when I tore the end panel off the old box to take as a reference.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Cachetes RE: ricepad Jan 18, 2013 07:50 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          In all fairness, it is confusing. And I'm a woman!

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Pwmfan RE: Scooter8 Jan 18, 2013 06:08 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I was approached in the supermarket by a man who asked me if I could help him find an item. He handed me a scrap of paper on which was scrawled "KY jelly". Being a suspicious sort, I gave him my best dirty look and coldly informed him he should ask a store employee for assistance and walked away.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I ran into him again a few aisles later, where he and a teenage stockboy were deep in conversation, earnestly examining a large display of jams and jellies.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                            KaimukiMan RE: Pwmfan Jan 18, 2013 06:47 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            thank you, i needed a good laugh at the end of a long week.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            yes, us menfolk are just basically clueless. i am impressed that he was willing to ask for assistance, not surprised he got no useful information for his efforts. and women wonder why we don't ask more often.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                              IndyGirl RE: Pwmfan Jan 18, 2013 08:36 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              LOL!

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                ricepad RE: Pwmfan Jan 23, 2013 12:51 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                That's exactly where I would expect to find the Kentucky Jelly. :oD

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  sunshine842 RE: Pwmfan Jan 23, 2013 01:03 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  why not -- a friend of mine who counsels pregnant teens asked one of them what kind of jelly she had used in her diaphragm.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Grape, came the answer, in earnest.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Lillipop RE: sunshine842 Jan 24, 2013 01:12 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    OK THAT has me bellowing out loud Sunshine842!

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      rccola RE: sunshine842 Jan 27, 2013 11:07 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Oh, that is hilarious!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Reminded me of when my mother sent my then 10 yr old brother to the store for "napkins" He brought them back when the guests were at table. They totally cracked up.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      "Well," he asked, "shouldn't they be sanitary?"

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  PotatoPuff RE: delys77 Jan 18, 2013 07:21 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  My husband was helping me unpack some groceries and tried to put an unopened can of chickpeas into the fridge. He didn't realize they are shelf stable.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    melpy RE: PotatoPuff Jan 18, 2013 08:46 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Mine literally will take things out of bags and leave them on the counter for me. Luckily I haven't found much put away except some produce that should sit out.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      jmcarthur8 RE: melpy Jan 18, 2013 05:57 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Um, my short-term memory is so bad that if hubby puts away the groceries into the pantry or into the crisper drawers in the fridge, I completely forget what we bought. Since I cook each day with ingredients at hand, knowing exactly what is in the pantry, fridge and freezer is crucial.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I finally got him to leave everything on the counter and let me put it away. Just the action of organizing it into the pantry reinforces the memory of what we have in there.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Plus I can hide the M & Ms from him, and *he'll* forget about those.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Violatp RE: delys77 Jan 18, 2013 08:40 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I used to make a really great lasagna. People paid me to make pans of this lasagna for them. I mentioned this to a guy I was dating and he asked me to make it for him. I did and he meh'd all over it. Turned out his idea of great lasagna was the Olive Garden.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Yeah, that didn't last long!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Definitely a misunderstanding!

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Isolda RE: delys77 Jan 18, 2013 10:01 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      After I had my first child, my husband offered to make me dinner. When he asked what I wanted, I just replied, "Something healthy." I should have clarified, because in his mind, "healthy" means milk, so I got: cream of carrot soup, a blueberry milkshake, and chocolate pudding. Plugged me up for days. The next time he asked what I wanted to eat, I said, "Prunes. A big bowl of prunes."

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        rccola RE: Isolda Jan 18, 2013 10:05 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Maybe he thought "having a child" meant "having all your teeth pulled at once." My husband might think that.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        rccola RE: delys77 Jan 18, 2013 10:03 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        My husband mistakes moving a plate anywhere close to the dishwasher for actually washing it.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          plasticanimal RE: rccola Jan 18, 2013 02:37 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I have convinced my wife I enjoy doing dishes. I told her it helps me think. Really, I just want clean ones!

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            rccola RE: plasticanimal Jan 19, 2013 06:41 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Great post! Touche!

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            IndyGirl RE: rccola Jan 18, 2013 02:47 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Mine too.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            INDIANRIVERFL RE: delys77 Jan 18, 2013 10:21 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Like most first meals for somebody you want to impress, I was overly ambitious but we both enjoyed it. When she reciprocated, I thought the same had occured for her, only in seasonings and cooking time. After the second meal she cooked, I cooked 99.9% of the meals we shared for the next 20 years.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              splatgirl RE: INDIANRIVERFL Jan 18, 2013 11:53 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              what a lovely way to say her cooking sucked :)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            2. IndyGirl RE: delys77 Jan 18, 2013 02:50 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I asked my husband to stop by the store on the way home from work and get plain yogurt because I was nearly finished making palak paneer and was only missing that last ingredient. I knew he wouldn't be long or I'd have left and got it myself. I specifically warned him to READ THE LABEL since it is so easy to confuse plain and vanilla yogurt due to the similar light-colored packaging.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Of course, even despite my warning and my correct anticipation that he would not read the label (not because he can't read, but because he gets distracted by all the OTHER bargains that can be found at the store), you all know what happened--he came home with a ton of vanilla yogurt, no plain yogurt, PLUS 6 six-packs of generic root beer that was on clearance, which he tried later that night and hated.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Yep.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              This was ten years ago, near the beginning of our relationship. He's much better now after having to make return trips a few too many times!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. viperlush RE: delys77 Jan 19, 2013 05:44 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Every day bf calls as he leaves work to see if I need him to stop at the store. As he explains it "give me a list of three items and I will come home with five. Two that you wanted and three that I wanted".

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  mariacarmen RE: viperlush Jan 19, 2013 08:02 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  that's fantastic.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  cutipie721 RE: delys77 Jan 21, 2013 10:23 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  It's from someone I dated.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  He knows I was into food and was trying to impress me by saying "I can make sausages". I was intrigued.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I thought he might like the MasterChef series, so I introduced it to him and we watched it together. At some point I suggested that he has good culinary skills and should totally go to their open cast.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  He: (pointing at the TV) I can't make food like that.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Me: You have some time between now and the actual competition for training... at least you know how to make sausages.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  He: Yea... I can throw the sausages into a pan... from scratch? Are you kidding me? Who does that.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. alliegator RE: delys77 Jan 21, 2013 10:59 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    My better half only goes in the kitchen to grab a beer or granola bar, etc... So my only really kitchen issue with him centers on when his parents visit. FIL fancies himself a wonderful cook. He's not bad, but his food is very heavy. When they visit, he expects to take over. And he's terrible messy. He just digs through all my things, doesn't always use nice knives and tools with care, and never cleans up. And he lectures me endlessly on the cost of various items in the kitchen. Saffron was the last thing that bugged him. I explained that I bought the large quantity in Morocco, and noticed hubster running his finger across his throat. They're so frugal that vacations abroad seems silly to them. Yikes.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    In the end, there's nothing I can really do to keep them out of the kitchen, but it's very anxiety inducing.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      afridgetoofar RE: delys77 Jan 21, 2013 11:30 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      SO doesn't cook but will deliver. In fact, he loves to shop. He does so with, shall we say, innocence and enthusiasm, which I've come to appreciate more than any adherence to the lists I send with him when he goes by himself. He comes home with such an interesting variety. I buy the mundane products he forgets because he gets excited and distracted, but when he shops it's like Christmas morning when we were children, I can hardly wait to see what's in the bags he brings home, full of surprises.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Last year I had a debilitating surgery and was homebound for a few weeks. It was a highlight of a boring day to see what he'd come home with from the grocery store. I was treated to a huge sack filled with very, um, unusual flavors of yogurt I'd have passed over, and some became enduring favorites, nevermind I'd asked him to bring home (one) carton of cottage cheese. I'm glad he forgot the cottage cheese, imagining his excitement as he perused the bright little yogurt containers, and seeing his pleasure as he presented them one by one and could hardly wait for me to try them.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        hyacinthgirl RE: afridgetoofar Jan 21, 2013 01:57 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Aw, that's so sweet! My dad is that kind of shopper. When I was little it was incredibly frustrating that he wouldn't get the cereal we'd asked for, but now when I'm there visiting it's fun to see what random strange farmers' market items he picks up that I never would have looked at.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          happybaker RE: afridgetoofar Jan 21, 2013 08:26 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          As I get older (Still a tike! Really! Sorta!) I start to understand just how powerful and joyous true exploration is.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          If your SO was just being lazy, that would be one thing. But I get the sense that he is so happy to find things he thinks you've overlooked - or he's just discovered.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          And that is such a HUGE, caring gift, as you very well know.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        2. iowagirl RE: delys77 Jan 21, 2013 02:22 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          This misunderstanding is especially funny to me, because my husband is actually a good cook and a decent shopper (although I do get those, "where are the xxxx?" phone calls from the store regularly!).

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I had asked him to start dinner as I was running late at work, and told him to mince some fresh garlic. I keep our garlic and our shallots in small bag in the spice pantry, and he asked "which is the garlic." I told him, he said ok and off he went. I got home to see him practically weeping at the counter, sniffling and groaning, saying that the garlic was killing him!? Turned out he was mincing the heck out of the poor shallot! Thank goodness he also has a good sense of humor, and laughed WITH me laughing AT him.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            mariacarmen RE: iowagirl Jan 21, 2013 09:44 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            ok, i'm not being nasty, i swear, but how does your hubby who is a good cook not know the diff between garlic and shallots?? not trying to be mean, just dying to know.... ( :

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              iowagirl RE: mariacarmen Jan 22, 2013 12:18 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I know!!!! I asked him the same thing and he said that the shallots were in the garlic bag, so he just thought they were a weird kind of garlic. DOH!!

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                mariacarmen RE: iowagirl Jan 22, 2013 02:27 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                too funny! i can see that, tho.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  alliegator RE: iowagirl Jan 22, 2013 03:10 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I just asked my husband (all innocent like) what a shallot is. He thinks it might be that thing that you use to stamp toilet cleaning gel inside the bowl with. O_o
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Maybe Scrubbing Bubbles and Swiffer met up in his brain somewhere. Shallot--shower--bathroom? Who knows.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    iowagirl RE: alliegator Jan 23, 2013 01:10 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    That is toooo funny! And to be completely fair to my hubby, he IS a good cook, but he has his certain dishes that he makes and I'm pretty sure he'd never used a shallot before. This is a man who never had a green pepper until he left home for college. So I do give him lots of credit!!

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      alliegator RE: iowagirl Jan 23, 2013 02:00 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      What's even funnier is when I showed him a shallot from my trusty shallot/garlic/misc. bowl, his response was "I thought that was a Thai onion".
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      At least he knows how I use this little onion: in Thai food. Points for noticing :)

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        mariacarmen RE: alliegator Jan 23, 2013 11:30 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        love it!

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          iowagirl RE: mariacarmen Jan 24, 2013 12:52 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Perfect response! Thai onion - and major points for noticing when you use it!!

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            alliegator RE: iowagirl Jan 24, 2013 01:25 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I'm very impressed that he noticed that. But he does really like crispy fried shallot garnish.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Sometimes what he does and does not notice freaks me out. He's the type of guy who would not notice a whole new bedroom set, but see that the dog has a new collar.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            And on the topic of dogs--iowagirl, your pup is absolutely beautiful!

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              cheesecake17 RE: alliegator Jan 24, 2013 03:29 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              My husband did not notice the new curtains in the living room, but he did call to ask what's for dinner a total of four times today

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                mariacarmen RE: cheesecake17 Jan 24, 2013 03:47 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                ahahahaha!

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  John E. RE: cheesecake17 Jan 24, 2013 10:16 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Many years ago my mother quit smoking and my father didn't notice it until a week later. Of course, she was down to maybe 6 or 7 cigarettes a day just before she quit.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    alliegator RE: cheesecake17 Jan 28, 2013 12:30 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Oh god, my husband would never notice cutains. It's actually a good thing for smuggling new possesions in. He has no idea if it's new, or if I've always had it. I wouldn't fib if he asked, but I don't parade new stuff (kichen or closet) in front of him. It all works out just fine :)
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    My 91 year old grandfather, on the other hand will tell me to lean in closer, scrutinize a new eyeliner or something like that, and tell me that he doesn't really like dark, and the bronze or whatever from a few months ago is much nicer O_o

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      mariacarmen RE: alliegator Jan 28, 2013 02:00 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      awwww, love your grandfather!

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        alliegator RE: mariacarmen Jan 28, 2013 02:29 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Thank you :) I love him more than I can put into words. When I visit with him, and I hop on the computer, he asks if I'm talking to my recipe friends about what's for dinner, haha! He's simply amazed that people from all over the whole world would get together and talk about ways to be a better cook.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          fldhkybnva RE: alliegator Jan 28, 2013 02:38 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          My best friend is the same way and doesn't understand. He even had me questioning if cooking even makes sense as a hobby, but luckily I came to my senses of the greatness of cooking. I love his responses to my utter glee when I sear the perfect steak or perfected chicken roll ups without ooze, and so on and so forth but it gives me great pleasure to learn and master kitchen techniques. Not only am I intellectually and emotionally satisfied but my taste buds enjoy as well.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        iowagirl RE: alliegator Jan 29, 2013 02:20 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Love that about your grandfather! Mine was similar! I can't begin to count how many heart to hearts we had when I was in college and at at his house every Wednesday (which continued until he passed away long after I joined the working world). I still miss him every day!!

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          alliegator RE: iowagirl Feb 4, 2013 12:13 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Your Wednesday tradition sounds wonderful! How nice that you have those memories. I'm so lucky my favorite old guy is still around, I just wish I didn't live $500 and 6 or 7 hours away from him.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Mestralle RE: cheesecake17 Feb 8, 2013 12:32 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        My father is both unobservant and forgetful, so when he'd go out of town for business, my mother would replace things around the house (we're talking sofas, armchairs, even a dining set). Then when he'd finally notice it weeks (or months) later, my mother would feign exasperation and say, "We already had this conversation/argument last week, and I'm not going to get into it again." They've been married almost 50 years, so I guess it works for them.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          John E. RE: Mestralle Feb 8, 2013 06:39 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          You are describing the "48 Hour Rule". There is a local Twin Cities radio talkshow where the host has come up with a few rules of marriage (not rules so much as observations). The 48 Hour Rule is when someone buys something, brings it home, and it is out in the open and not hidden, if the spouse does not mention it in the first 48 hours after it first appears in the home, then all protests must be dropped.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          The host of the program recently read an e-mail from a 75 year old man who listens to the show. It seems that his parents have been arguing about a purchase his dad made on the day he was born in 1937. The old guy (then a young man) bought a pocket knife and placed it on the dresser. His wife's water broke and their first son was born after 49 hours of labor. After the child was born, his father was holding his newborn and the first thing his wife said was "so, you bought the knife". The husband and wife, now 93 and 92 years old have been having this disagreement since 1937. The radio host wanted to talk to them on the air, but the old guy can't hear too well and his wife doesn't listen. (Their words.) The old couple did write statements that were read on the air. The old man said he was in the right because his wife never said anything soon enough. His wife said her husband was correct even though the wife's sister mentioned something in her diary about how the man wasn't letting his wife talk during the labor, he was telling her to be quiet and rest all the time. The surprise ending is that while the old man said he bought the last pocket knife the store had, his wife finally told him that she bought the second to the last knife as a birthday gift for him (his birthday was in two weeks). She never gave him that knife because she was mad at him about him buying it himself when they didn't have much money. She kept it in her sewing kit since September 1937 and until January 24th he never knew.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            hill food RE: John E. Feb 8, 2013 06:57 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            wow John E., that reads as if Edward Albee re-wrote an O'Henry story... "Who's Afraid of the Three Little Magi"

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              sr44 RE: John E. Feb 8, 2013 08:36 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Let that be a lesson to us all.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                sandylc RE: John E. Feb 8, 2013 08:44 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Garage Logic follower?

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  John E. RE: sandylc Feb 8, 2013 08:59 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I used to be a frequent listener maybe ten years ago. (His ratings peaked about that time.) But now I'm more of an occasional listener. I was tipped off to this part of the program by someone else and caught the podcast. (I spent a lot of years in the broadcasting business. so I know the inside scoop of a lot of what is going on behind the scenes over there, or at least I used to when I cared.)

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    sandylc RE: John E. Feb 8, 2013 09:06 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I listened a bit long before you. Chose not to listen anymore. (Is that put nicely enough?)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: sandylc
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      John E. RE: sandylc Feb 8, 2013 09:21 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I guess I worded that incorrectly. Ten years ago is about when I stopped being a frequent listener. It just quit being an entertaining show for me. The problem with the bit that I wrote about upthread is I think that gives them the idea that everything is ok with the program (even though the ratings are at the bottom of the barrel - the show used to be #2 in the timeslot).

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Pwmfan RE: John E. Mar 11, 2013 02:37 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        I too was once an avid listener but became bored and irritated by the host's insular views. Later I realized the only part I really liked was Reusse's stories.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: Pwmfan
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          sandylc RE: Pwmfan Mar 11, 2013 03:17 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Insular, yes.....also uninformed, ignorant (is this redundant?), sexist, arrogant, backwards....and he mispronounces a staggering number of words......

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Wow, I must not be in a very good mood today!!! ha

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: Pwmfan
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            John E. RE: Pwmfan Mar 11, 2013 04:08 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            For a guy supposedly as well-read as he is, he is surprisingly ignorant of the ways of the world. He grew up in Mahtomedi but has lived only in St. Paul since. I still like to hear Reusse's stories, but I'm not willing to listen enough to catch them.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Years ago, he had Anthony Bourdain in studio as a guest. (I think Bourdain was promoting his TV show.) Anyway, Soucheray told a story about how he and his wife were shopping for a new range. The salesman asked whether they currently had gas or electric. His wife told him to take this question, I think she was amused, because he is so inept in the kitchen he might not get the answer correct. I thought Bourdain handled it well. He said everyone should be able to cook well enough to put a decent meal on the table for their family without resorting to convenience foods.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                2. re: Mestralle
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  c
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  cheesecake17 RE: Mestralle Mar 5, 2013 06:09 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Sounds like my parents!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Last week I asked my husband to pick up milk on his way home from work, 1 gallon of 1 percent. He came home with a half gallon of whole. Why? I don't know

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: cheesecake17
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    hill food RE: cheesecake17 Mar 5, 2013 07:34 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    can't you just dilute it?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: hill food
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      John E. RE: hill food Mar 5, 2013 08:27 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I suppose 1-1/2 gallons of skim mixed with a half-gallon of whole milk would make it 2 gallons of 1% milk. It sounds like a hassle to me.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: John E.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        hill food RE: John E. Mar 6, 2013 01:52 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        and a pointless hassle at that. I was imagining someone thinking they can turn whole into 1% by adding water. (trust me, I know people that would find this a reasonable idea. I'd nominate them for "Worst Cooks" but I no longer have a taste for inflicting public humiliation)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: hill food
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          s
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          sandylc RE: hill food Mar 6, 2013 09:41 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Actually, one of the problems with 1% is that when you remove the fat, you are concentrating the sugar. So by adding water to whole and diluting it, you are reducing BOTH the fat and the sugar, so it makes a twisted sort of sense.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      2. re: hill food
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        c
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        cheesecake17 RE: hill food Mar 6, 2013 05:52 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        His reasoning was dd drank whole milk. I guess he didn't realize we switched to one percen. She ended up drinking it

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              2. Emme RE: delys77 Jan 21, 2013 09:30 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                mine is a good cook... when he wants to be.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                i'm pretty sure he doesn't understand fully the concept of "we," as i know when i'm asked, "can we make X?" that means "can I [me] make X..." sometimes it's stuff i don't particularly want to make either...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                we also have some issues with shopping... he buys. way too much. always more than he can or will eat. and he drives me crazy when he wastes food. just crazy. though the dog appreciates uneaten steak.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                my biggest gripe, however, is the misunderstanding he has about doing the dishes. loading the dishwasher and turning it on is not "doing the dishes." i HATE putting them away.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                we also had some misunderstandings when we first got together about my allergies, and how non-negotiable they are...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. boyzoma RE: delys77 Jan 22, 2013 04:47 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Well, I have a new twist after this last weekend. Our paper had T-bones on sale at 1/2 off! DH did the shopping and came home with the "value pack". No problem, I'll just vacuum seal them as usual and they'll be great. He said when he got to the store, there weren't any in the case but the butcher was setting out some other meat. DH asked about them and the butcher offered to cut some. OMG - I asked DH if he and the butcher were having an affair! Those T-bones looked like Porterhouse! Holy Cow. We scored! I'll have him do that more often. Now that's the kind of misunderstanding I can handle. :)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. 4
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    4Snisl RE: delys77 Jan 23, 2013 01:54 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Not exactly a traditional mistake, but funny nonetheless....

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Guy I was dating texted that he was coming back from work, what shall we do for dinner, etc. I texted back with a few suggestions, knowing he would be back within mere minutes, but wrote at the end, "...just had some ideas I wanted to get down ASAP. See you soon."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    He seemed so delighted and excited to see me when he came back! I was calmly finishing up a few work e-mails but I noticed he was watching me in a curiously expectant way. So I asked if he was really hungry and wanted to figure out dinner plans as soon as possible. He looked at me with a boyish grin and said, "Let's talk more about some of those ideas you had...."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    A few more sentences of conversation revealed the following:
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I wrote: "...just had some [dinner] ideas I wanted to get down ASAP. See you soon."
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    He read: "Just had some [R-rated] ideas. I wanted to 'get down' ASAP. See you soon."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    We did eventually have dinner after a good laugh and [truncated content]. ;)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. Motosport RE: delys77 Jan 24, 2013 07:36 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Is the phenomenon one of heterosexual couples not communicating? Do same sex couples have the same issues? I have given up on trying to understand it myself.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Not a kitchen issue but a case in point.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Making a lunch date with my lovely wife. On occasion we will meet midway between her workplace and mine.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Me: By email: "Let's meet at Zar's (Persian Restaurant) for lunch.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Lovely wife: "Sounds great! Noon."
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      12:15 I am sitting at Zar's when my cell phone buzzes.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Lovely wife: "They are closed. Probably for Yom Kippur!"
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Me: "Huh?"
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      L.W.: "I am standing out front and they are closed."
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Me: "I am sitting at a table. Try the door."
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      L.W. "They are closed! No lights."
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Me: "Why would a Persian restaurant be closed for Yom Kippur?"
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      L.W.: "It's not Persian! Zan's is a Jewish deli and they are closed for the Jewish holiday!"
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      She is getting excited now.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Me: "please get back in your car and come over to Zar's Persian Cafe. I'll order some appetizers."
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      L.W.: $#((&^%*^)#@%!$^%((^&(*&$#$@*
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      She does not like to be wrong. Thank goodness I sent an email.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      4 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: Motosport
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        CanadaGirl RE: Motosport Jan 24, 2013 08:21 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Perhaps, but the OP has indicated he and his SO are both men.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: CanadaGirl
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Motosport RE: CanadaGirl Jan 24, 2013 08:28 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I didn't notice that! My bad!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I guess it may just be a challenge to communicate with a partner. Such is life.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: Motosport
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            hill food RE: Motosport Jan 25, 2013 04:42 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            communication is everyone's challenge. it's a universal. happy? no. laughable? yes.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          2. re: CanadaGirl
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            KaimukiMan RE: CanadaGirl Jan 25, 2013 02:25 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            yeah, i think the whole basis of objection to same gender relationships is that a lot of the 'men do this' or 'women do that' is gonna crumble.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        2. d
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          deputygeorgie RE: delys77 Jan 26, 2013 02:23 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          I sent the ex to the store for meat for stroganoff. I was at work and sent a quick text saying I'd forgotten it. Well, lo and behold, he came back with hamburger meat. He also had the gall to say he liked hamburger helper better,

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          4 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: deputygeorgie
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            mariacarmen RE: deputygeorgie Jan 26, 2013 10:14 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            ack! blasphemy.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            reminds me, not a misunderstanding, more of a LIE. the BF made dinner one night and it tasted awful (an anomaly - as i've said upthread, he is a really good cook) i didn't say anything, just ate it, thinking, well, even the best of us can have a really off night. throwing things in the trash can later, tho, i saw a box of Hamburger Helper buried in the trash! I said " you gave me Hamburger Helper??" he said, "yeah, i know... i thought it would be good comfort food, but i knew you would object. it really did suck, didn't it?" um, YEAH! i had him promise me he'd never do that again.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: mariacarmen
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              iowagirl RE: mariacarmen Jan 29, 2013 02:21 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              At least he hated it too!! :)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: iowagirl
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                mariacarmen RE: iowagirl Jan 29, 2013 02:28 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                it's true.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            2. re: deputygeorgie
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              jmcarthur8 RE: deputygeorgie Feb 1, 2013 02:41 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              My ex kept crowing about how great Hamburger Helper was, and that I should make some. So I finally made it for him every day for almost a week.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              He never asked for it again, and seemed to appreciate my home cooked meals a lot more after that.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            3. j
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              jujuthomas RE: delys77 Jan 29, 2013 11:31 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I'm sure we've had similar misunderstandings, but nothing I can think of at the moment! there are some really cute stories in this thread. :)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. tracylee RE: delys77 Jan 29, 2013 07:26 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                I actually explained bits of this thread to a gentleman at the grocery store last night. I was looking at the spice section, and he had his back to me, looking at the coffee's on the other side of the aisle. After a few minutes, he asks me what the difference between dark and medium roast is. Turns out his wife sent him to buy coffee with no details - and he doesn't drink coffee.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                After much discussion, he finally remembered that she likes a specific brand - of which there were only two varieties - Special Blend and Decaf. No chance of going wrong there.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                So as he was thanking me profusely, I explained this community and the discussion about SOs shopping.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. KaimukiMan RE: delys77 Jan 29, 2013 08:55 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Isn't this the real reason for cell phones?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  5 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: KaimukiMan
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    sunshine842 RE: KaimukiMan Jan 29, 2013 10:30 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I've been very amused to be in supermarkets all over Europe and as I walk past a man (not sexist; that's the observation) with a cell phone to his ear, probably 90% of the time the conversation is some variation on "the one in the red can? The big one or the little one? Plain or --- flavored?"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Women yak on their cell phones, too -- but that's never the conversations I hear.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: KaimukiMan
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      viperlush RE: KaimukiMan Feb 7, 2013 06:17 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Yeah, except not all stores have cell service. But I have found that texting the BF a list results in a higher success rate.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: viperlush
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        KaimukiMan RE: viperlush Feb 7, 2013 06:22 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        wow, are you shopping inside a bunker? I guess a large grocery in a multi story building might not get cell service, but the only place I shop that doesn't is a wine shop thats in the half-basement of a shopping center (not nearly as interesting as it sounds.)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: KaimukiMan
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          viperlush RE: KaimukiMan Feb 7, 2013 06:32 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Yeah, you would think. The Wegman's where my mom does her shopping has no/poor service. It's a pain in the ass. Fortunately it's the only place where I've had that problem.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: KaimukiMan
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            fldhkybnva RE: KaimukiMan Feb 7, 2013 06:43 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I shop in a regular store in a normal shopping center and inevitably no matter what day or time it is, there is literally no service in the back of the store to my mother's dismay as it means I always get disconnected. I learned after many failed attempts not to text SO when he runs to the store to remind him of something because he never usually gets it until he's nearly in the car out of the parking lot.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      2. mamachef RE: delys77 Feb 1, 2013 05:11 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        "That store didn't have the brand of butter
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        you like to bake with, and I know you won't bake with margarine, so I got these sticks of butter-flavor Crisco."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        11 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: mamachef
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          m
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          mandymoo RE: mamachef Feb 1, 2013 05:36 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          My teenage son saw a stick of butter flavored Crisco in the cabinet (can't remember what it was initially purchased for) and could not understand why it wasn't "the same thing" as butter. Lord help his someday wife...............

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: mandymoo
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            pdxgastro RE: mandymoo Feb 1, 2013 04:21 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            You should have invited him to spread some on toast. That'll learn him.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          2. re: mamachef
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            KaimukiMan RE: mamachef Feb 1, 2013 07:51 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            and said with such pride at the accomplishment no doubt!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: KaimukiMan
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              mamachef RE: KaimukiMan Feb 2, 2013 07:58 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              LOL. You got it, KM. And I went on ahead and made those cookies, and you know what? He got to eat 'em, and then he understood why I don't bake with the fake. :)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: mamachef
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                KaimukiMan RE: mamachef Feb 2, 2013 12:43 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                LOL! Is there any use for butter flavored crisco aside from piecrust? It's sure not for frying chicken. And even for piecrust I prefer to use regular crisco, if I wanted the butter flavor I would use butter.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: KaimukiMan
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  mamachef RE: KaimukiMan Feb 2, 2013 01:00 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  The really sad part is, if it had been in the can, I'd have saved it and put it in w/ the other earthquake supplies, to be used as a candle. :) I hear it'll last like a month! Just insert a wick and spark it up!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: mamachef
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    hill food RE: mamachef Feb 2, 2013 02:45 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    really? I'm making a note of that. we get the occasional power outage around here.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: hill food
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      mamachef RE: hill food Feb 2, 2013 03:22 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Yes'm. True story. Not sure of the actual length of time, but I did see this as a tip during the horribleness of hurricane Sandy, and made mental note..I mean, it's safe, slow-burning and slow-burning. I'd get the not-butter flavor, though.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: mamachef
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        KaimukiMan RE: mamachef Feb 7, 2013 06:29 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Now where did i put that kitchen twine?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        I wonder how it smells when it burns?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        "Shelf life" is 2 years, but thats just for cooking with it. I've seen reports that it has an indefinite shelf life on other sites.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: KaimukiMan
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          John E. RE: KaimukiMan Feb 7, 2013 09:34 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          We had some vegetable shortening 'go bad' although I'm sure it would have been safe to consume (well, as same as it ever is). The stuff is hydroginated oil and the process makes it solid at room temperture. When it gets old it sort of begins to separate. I might have to try this Crisco Candle thing and we don't have hurricanes and almost never lose power for more than a few minutes at a time and infrequently too.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: John E.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            hill food RE: John E. Feb 7, 2013 11:56 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            usually it's just batteries and books, but one never knows.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          3. Ruthie789 RE: delys77 Mar 5, 2013 07:20 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I am the designated cook for my side of the family. I cook a lot of buffet style meals requiring room in my fridge. My husband likes to fill the fridge with pop cans, beer, wine hence no room for the food which can be frustrating. Other than that we work together to make these meals special, he helps me a lot as we both like to entertain.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            25 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: Ruthie789
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              John E. RE: Ruthie789 Mar 5, 2013 08:37 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              I remember my mother complaining about my father doing something similar. She would clean out the refrigerator, tossing stuff and organizing it. My dad would see the empty space as an opportunity to bring up pickles and olives and other stuff from the basement pantry. It drove her nuts. (What bugs me is when people put small stuff, say a tub of sour cream, on the main, large shelf instead of one of the shorter shelves below.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: John E.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                hill food RE: John E. Mar 6, 2013 01:54 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                this is also why I really wish refrigerators were made less deep.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: hill food
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  p
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  pine time RE: hill food Mar 6, 2013 09:20 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  When remodeling, I fell for the counter-depth fridge. However, 'cause of its design, impossible to keep it organized and it ended up too small, even for just the 2 of us. However, since I lobbied hard for it, would *never* 'fess up to the Mr. that I boo-booed!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: hill food
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    John E. RE: hill food Mar 6, 2013 10:16 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I was recently in an appliance store and while we are not in the market for a new refrigerator, I did look at them. One that I saw that will definitely be on the features list when the time comes is the refrigerator with the french doors. It had a freezer drawer on the bottom (which really didn't look all that handy once it's full) but above that was a refrigerator drawer. Above the drawer were two doors that opened into the refrigerator. The thing was huge so I'm not certain it would fit in our kitchen without remodeling the cabinets. (Maybe they make a somewhat smaller refrigerator with the same features?)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: John E.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      sunshine842 RE: John E. Mar 6, 2013 10:40 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      ready for a laugh? In France, those are called American doors.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: sunshine842
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        John E. RE: sunshine842 Mar 6, 2013 11:15 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        A door cut in half at waist height is called a Dutch door. I wonder what it is called in the Netherlands?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: John E.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          pdxgastro RE: John E. Mar 9, 2013 10:08 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          In Italy, Venetian blinds are called Persian.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: pdxgastro
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            hill food RE: pdxgastro Mar 9, 2013 11:54 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            pdx - and in the works of Charles Bukowski and Raymond Chandler they are called "god-sent"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: pdxgastro
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              delys77 RE: pdxgastro Mar 10, 2013 10:54 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              It is the same in French.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: delys77
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                mariacarmen RE: delys77 Apr 3, 2013 01:10 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                And in spanish. las persianas.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          2. re: sunshine842
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            alliegator RE: sunshine842 Mar 6, 2013 02:03 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            That is pretty funny!!!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            There will be a house building in my not too far off future, and I would really like to have one of the fridges that have glass door. I'm a tidy person, but so much less so inside the fridge. It drives my husband batty! This would force me to be more neat.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            http://vignettedesign.blogspot.com/20...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: alliegator
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              sunshine842 RE: alliegator Mar 6, 2013 03:09 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              No, no, for the love of god, no!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              All I can see on that are the fingerprints and the noseprints where the dog presses his nose against the door and stares lovingly at the bacon.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: sunshine842
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                tcamp RE: sunshine842 Jun 8, 2013 05:26 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                "...where the dog presses his nose against the door and stares lovingly at the bacon."

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Like this?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: tcamp
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  sunshine842 RE: tcamp Jun 8, 2013 07:31 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  *Especially* the maple kind

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: tcamp
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    NonnieMuss RE: tcamp Jun 12, 2013 03:52 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    My dog never concentrates as hard as when she does when I'm cooking bacon. The expression on her face is like a grad student poring over their thesis. She nips anyone who tries to pet or play with her when bacon is cooking.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: NonnieMuss
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Firegoat RE: NonnieMuss Jun 12, 2013 11:06 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I love this. My dog loves when my mom cooks. She doesn't hang out in the kitchen when I cook, but if we're at my mom's she's right underfoot the entire time with a big grin on her face.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            2. re: John E.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              p
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              pine time RE: John E. Mar 6, 2013 01:56 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              That description sounds like my 'fridge. The bottom freezer is wonderful, and it's capacity is actually quite large. The French doors are fine, with good in-door storage. It's the inner shelves that I fine too small. Maybe I just need to hoard less.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: pine time
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                John E. RE: pine time Mar 6, 2013 02:57 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                The one I saw seemed to total about 20 cubic feet. We have a standard freezer-on-top refrigerator. I liked the easy access at eye level of the new one I saw at the store.I'm kind ot the only person in our house who is on top of what is in the refrigerator, but the bending over to see what's under the meat drawer and far in the back is a pain.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  pine time RE: John E. Mar 7, 2013 12:55 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Literal pain: a chronic back problem is why I chose the freezer on the bottom...figured I'm in in the 'fridge much more frequently than the freezer. Bending just to look in the old fridge for milk or lettuce was physically painful. Love the bottom freezer drawer--pulls out fully, with 2 drawers. Saw some with a door bottom freezer, which was awkward.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: pine time
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    John E. RE: pine time Mar 7, 2013 03:34 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I'm in the same club. I've had two back surgeries and am looking at another. I sort of wish our refrigerator would just break already. Years ago, my mother had a crappy clothes washing machine. She overloaded it to one side and let 'er rip. She broke it and got her new machine. I didn't hear the part about if, how, or when she told my dad what she had done.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  2. re: John E.
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    gourmanda RE: John E. Mar 12, 2013 11:38 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    The one we have for just the two of us is 26 cubic feet, freezer on the bottom. It holds a LOT and is great as I can stuff the bottom freezer over the summer with homegrown tomatoes/tomato products and for entertaining it's easy to fit a lot of baking sheets in either the refrigerator or freezer. But it is big...DH refers to the kitchen as "the refrigerator room" :) I would be mighty hard pressed to go back to a side by side or freezer on top model. I'm not sure I would do the stainless steel again though; too many fingerprints.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: gourmanda
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      John E. RE: gourmanda Mar 12, 2013 12:44 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      "26 cubic feet"? You could stash a couple of bodies in there. We just have the standard 18 cubic feet refrigerator. Of course we have another one in the basement along with an upright freezer.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        gourmanda RE: John E. Mar 14, 2013 07:26 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Yes, it's big! But it does eliminate (most of the time) the need for an extra refrigerator or freezer :)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  3. re: pine time
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    juliejulez RE: pine time Mar 7, 2013 01:16 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I used to have one like that too... and it was counter-depth. I like the french doors but I didn't like the depth, because it won't hold a 12 pack of soda or a larger pizza box. I liked the freezer drawer, it would hold a lot of stuff.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I now just have a side by side fridge and I don't like it. Still have the pizza box problem :) Also, by the time both my Diet Coke and SO's Pepsi are in the fridge together (I have racks that hold the cans), that entire shelf almost becomes unusable for anything else.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      John E. RE: juliejulez Mar 7, 2013 03:46 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      You guys must have a refrigerator significantly different than the one I saw. It was at least 36 X 36 but the doors seemed to make the interior more accessible. I suppose because I was standing directly in front of it instead of off to the side to allow room for the door to swing open.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          3. PHREDDY RE: delys77 Mar 10, 2013 07:06 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            When I first got married, we did not have cell phones. (1978)My new bride did not have much cullinary experience because her mom was a working mother. Her mom was a big "canned fruit and vegetable lady", due to time constraints.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I asked her to go to the market for some basic staples for the week, as she was trying to learn. On the list of fruits and vegetables , were tomatoes, Two types of lettuce, red onions, and amongst others an English cucumber.I would use this in a suace I made for a marinated broiled salmon.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Being confused as to what an English cucumber was, she looked for a clerk in the produce area, but could not find one.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            When she came home, I asked her where the English cucumber was....she told me about her confusion and said she fould an older lady , who gave her the some information, when she asked if she could point them out to her....The woman herself was not that clear, but did tell her that they sort of looks like a penis......

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            She handed me a bag of Kirby cucumbers!!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            3 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: PHREDDY
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              John E. RE: PHREDDY Mar 10, 2013 09:26 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              While I was growing up my father always had a big garden and grew a wide variety of produce, including several different kinds of cucumbers. I don't think I ever heard of an English cucumber until maybe a dozen years ago. The first time I ever heard of 'Kirby' cucumbers was just a moment ago when I read it in your post. I had to do an internet search to discover what kind of cucumber is a Kirby cucumber. I've learned two new words today reading on Chowhound. (And I've always considered myself to be well read with a decent vocabulary.)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Unless we can get homegrown cucumbers, we too prefer the English or Persian varieties to the waxed cucumbers that appear in the grocery stores in Minnesota. Even in season, it is near impossible to find a decent cucumber in the grocery store.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                PHREDDY RE: John E. Mar 10, 2013 10:21 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                JE.....A Kirby is a real small cucumber....thus my point

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  hill food RE: PHREDDY Mar 10, 2013 07:48 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  how... uh awkward for you.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  but still useable!

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              HillsofBeverly RE: delys77 Mar 12, 2013 12:56 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              My husband, Science Man, is no longer allowed to grocery shop after he did a few times and brought back what he believed to be an economical and nutritionally sound weekly set of groceries - one half gallon of milk, one large jar of vitamin enhanced brewer's yeast, 5 apples, 5 oranges and 1 bag of corn chips. I kind of like vegetables, and variety, things like that... He did convert me to yeast + milk when hurried or worried that I'm B12 depleted.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: HillsofBeverly
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                pdxgastro RE: HillsofBeverly Mar 13, 2013 01:23 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                You mix the yeast into the milk?

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                fara RE: delys77 Mar 12, 2013 07:40 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                I will never forget how, when we were first married, I was continually without flat-leaf parsley- a staple of mine. This was because every time I wrote "parsley, fresh, you can find it in the produce case" dh would get confused and bring home dried parsley. Dried parsley has since become another staple in some dishes (albeit used much less and for much different purposes). apparently dh's mom used dried.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                It seems funny now- but I used to be quite upset to see yet another bottle of dried parsley with no fresh parsley in the fridge. I'm half Italian, I never leave a supermarket wihout it-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Anyway now dh has seen the light and never leaves the supermarket without fresh parsley, cilantro, mint and basil. I'm lucky but it has been a funny if frustrating road.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. ursy_ten RE: delys77 Jun 1, 2013 12:02 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  I overheard my partner saying to his mother, "don't be put off by the funny coloured salt, it's got paprika in it", pointing to my pink himalayan crystal salt.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  When questioned about it later, he explained that he thought I'd put paprika in it to stop the crystals sticking together.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  My mind is boggling in all kinds of directions at the train of thought involved right there.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    tcamp RE: ursy_ten Jun 8, 2013 05:29 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I am thinking fondly of the paprika salt I enjoyed in Romania. Maybe your partner was aboard that train?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: tcamp
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      ursy_ten RE: tcamp Jun 9, 2013 05:08 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Just checked with him - nope! But now he feels totally vindicated to hear that there is such a thing as paprika salt!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  2. Firegoat RE: delys77 Jun 11, 2013 07:36 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    I moved into my now ex-boyfriend's house. He was a total packrat and basically used the kitchen counters as a place to store mail, papers, laptops. I spent all morning cleaning the kitchen and was going to bake something. Luckily right after I turned the oven on to preheat it I popped it open to look inside..... which of course is where he was storing boxes and boxes of bullets! Later I cleaned the cabinets and found a bag of long-expired marshmallows that had turned completely brown in the sealed bag. I think I've already mentioned the 3 year old eggs in the refrigerator somewhere on this thread. We're still good friends. I'm sure the next time I visit I'll find things I left behind in the refrigerator still there from years ago.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      ricepad RE: Firegoat Jun 11, 2013 12:03 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      "...Luckily right after I turned the oven on to preheat it I popped it open to look inside..... which of course is where he was storing boxes and boxes of bullets! "

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      That sure would have been exciting!

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        John E. RE: ricepad Jun 11, 2013 02:53 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        As long as the oven didn't get up to 320, it would have been ok.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          sunshine842 RE: John E. Jun 11, 2013 05:15 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          that actually happened not too long ago...ended up with someone having a bullet removed from their caboose.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: sunshine842
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Firegoat RE: sunshine842 Jun 12, 2013 07:24 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            His idea of cooking was opening a can of tuna and some crackers. He always seemed to appreciate when I cooked, but probably would always have been just as happy with his tuna and crackers. He would get VERY uncomfortable if I suggested a restaurant that wasn't one of his "usuals." Love the guy, that's just who he is.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Current boyfriend basically was eating out every lunch and dinner of his life and a much more adventurous eater. I was excited about getting a sourdough bread starter in from King Arthur Flour and making bread and he was in shock.... "people actually make bread?" Now he has his own starter in his fridge to feed and make bread with. He was equally shocked when I made homemade pasta for lasagna. Possibly because of what a messy process I made of it!

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              cheesecake17 RE: Firegoat Jun 13, 2013 06:25 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              The first time I made lasagna for my husbands siblings.... They couldn't believe it. I used boxed pasta and it wasn't anything special, but I understood why they loved it after tasting MILs lasagna!

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      lboeckx RE: delys77 Jun 11, 2013 12:14 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      I asked for cream of tartar. I received two bottles of tartar sauce.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: lboeckx
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        John E. RE: lboeckx Jun 11, 2013 02:52 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Unless you explained the difference, I think that one is on you. I don't bake much, but I do know about cream of tatar, but I'm sure a lot of people who don't bake would not be aware of it. Besides that, tatar sauce is creamy. ; )

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          cayjohan RE: lboeckx Jun 14, 2013 10:57 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Heh...had the exact opposite problem with my husband. Our summer road trip usually involves a stop at our favorite little shack for fried smelt. For some odd reason, the place doesn't serve tartar sauce with their smelt (which, being in Minnesota, should be against the law somehow), so I pack my own. While shopping (alone) for provisions, hub came up with a *brilliant and space saving* solution: cream of tartar. You know, to reconstitute into tartar sauce? Yup.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: cayjohan
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            John E. RE: cayjohan Jun 15, 2013 02:24 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I gotta ask, what is the name of and where is your favorite little shack that sells fried smelt? (I used to live in Duluth.)

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              cayjohan RE: John E. Jun 16, 2013 10:06 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Crabby Bill's little boat shack in Canal Park. I love perching on the rocks by Superior with a batch of hot smelt! But I really don't like the sauce they serve - a sort of smoky spicy mix that just doesn't say *perfect for smelt* to my Up North Minnesotan self. With smelt, I'm a tartar sauce gal, all the way.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                John E. RE: cayjohan Jun 16, 2013 02:26 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Thanks for the tip. I haven't been to Canal Park in a long time. I used to live within sight of the lift bridge but have I not been back in years. When we go north these days, it's to our recreational property in Itasca County. I think we'll have to make a detour to stop in at some eating places in Duluth this summer.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          acssss RE: delys77 Jun 14, 2013 11:11 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          This thread is mahvelous!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          What is funnier even is that no matter you go in the world, even if you have to take a buggie ride to a tiny village in the center of Africa, you will find a couple complaining about the same things :-)

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