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When a 'poster' goes off the rails..

What to do when somewhat of a new poster becomes combative, looking for a fight and has no sense of reasoning to their post..
(no, I'm not talking about me)
; )

Feed the troll, ignore them, report them or banter with them?

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  1. I tend to feed the troll or ignore. I try not to report anything that isn't black and white.

    1. Reporting is only for posts that are genuinely vulgar or offensive in some other way (more than merely insulting), I think.

      4 Replies
      1. re: GH1618

        Please report insulting posts -- we're actually rather more likely to delete a post for being insulting than for being vulgar. If it's both insulting and vulgar, of course, we're really likely to delete it.

        1. re: The Chowhound Team

          >>>Please report insulting posts<<<

          Ok, then. I would like to report an insulting post. INDIANRIVERFL went to a wine tasting at Glorioso's. He posted a full review here yet never invited the rest of the local posters (myself included) to that tasting. I find that he would report about it but not invite us insulting!

          1. re: Fowler

            It was a surprise a from my nieces who share a flat a block away. They even paid for it!! I plead innocence.

        2. I used to banter with them, but.....

          then I would be deleted....

          then I would then be spanked...

          then I would be suspended.....

          I have since tried reporting....but am often ignored...

          So now I just ignore.

          1. I ignore them. I have better things to do with my time than engage one who is illogical and simply looking for a fight.

            1. Fifth alternative: tell us who you're talking about.

              1. Ignore. I was suspended for a totally tongue in cheek response once.

                1. I think Fowler is right. Years ago, I had an issue with a poster who used a disparaging term that should have died in the 1920's--one that's commonly directed at Italian Americans . I took umbrage and told a mod that it wasn't okay, but s/he said "I've heard it in common use in that context" (a real g****a sandwich place).

                  So the mod (again, this was years ago) did nothing, the poster was unrepentant, and that was it. I guess you have to pick the battles carefully.

                  15 Replies
                  1. re: pinehurst

                    I doubt that's a choice the mods would make today. However, if you see it again why don't you post about it? If its a decision they stand by, its a decision they shouldn't mind being made public.

                    1. re: pinehurst

                      Hahahaha I'm half Italian (mom's side) so raised in a very Italian household and I have NO idea what word you are eluding to.

                      Do me a favor my email is on my profile send it to me privately. I feel like the last place contestant on Wheel of Fortune.

                      1. re: pinehurst

                        The "G-word" didn't use to be the "G-word." Is this the reason the Guinea-T (shirt) is now called the wife beater?

                        1. re: Jay F

                          Because that term is so much less offensive.

                        2. re: pinehurst

                          If as Jay F has so kindly cued me into if that is in fact the term I would have absolutely no offense taken to that. If anything if that's the way someone described a sandwich place by saying "It's a real guinea sandwich place" I would think immediately..."That's right up my ally" !!!

                          I consider myself a rather thick skinned kind of person...and it goes way beyond the fact I'm fat. If someone feels the need to sink to a level of name calling then I look at is as if it's that persons problem. You can call me fat, dumb, guinea etc. and it really won't bother me, because I know who I am and when it comes to what people say who don't know me....well it's their loss.

                          Now say that about my mom or kids and we have another story.

                          1. re: jrvedivici

                            and all this time I thought the reference was to *Goomba*

                              1. re: Island

                                I'm not surprised the word in question was guinea (or ginny as might see it spelled in a Richard Price novel). I grew up in RI, which has probably the highest percentage of Italo-Americans in the US, and that was considered very insulting. I remember some kid telling me a joke about what an Italian helicopter sounds like.

                                Now, I could see a place call itself "Goomba's." In fact, there is a winery in Leesburg VA called Quattro Goombas!

                            1. re: jrvedivici

                              The "Guinea Grinder" was a sandwich I grew up with in Des Moines. Big Italian population, many Italian sandwich shops. They all made them.
                              Just a loose meat sandwich using Italian sausage and a little sauce and cheese on a bun.
                              The term died out only a couple years ago. I've read post on Chowhound from people visiting that were appalled by this.
                              We're a little more laid back. The older folks still forget it's now just a grinder, the people at places like GRAZIANOS, just smile when they hear it.

                              1. re: Bobfrmia

                                The term "loose meat" offends my sensibilities, moreso than "guinea" (which I'd never before heard as a pejorative term for Italians)

                                Mr Taster

                                1. re: Mr Taster

                                  Mmmmm, loose meat. When I spent a year in Gainesville FL, there was a loose-meat sandwich shop run by some Iowans. Good stuff!

                                  1. re: Bob W

                                    The problem is that the phrase itself, "loose meat", is evocative of so many things other than a delicious foodstuff, that the term is utterly and forever tainted.

                                    Taint! Did you hear me? Tainted, I say, it is!

                                    Mr Taster

                                  2. re: Mr Taster

                                    Oh, guinea has a history of pejorative use. When I was in 7th grade or so, I used to be followed down the hill from school by two boys who would sing "Guinea, guinea, guinea, wop, guinea, guinea wop," to the tune of "Shimmy, shimmy, cocoa pop, shimmy, shimmy, pop." And this wasn't in some place where Italians were a little known ethnicity. This was in NYC, my friend.

                              2. re: pinehurst

                                I'm not into slang terms to describe ethnic or racial groups, that's all. There are other ways to describe a place "Italian like your mom made" or "Old school Italian. $.02

                              3. I ignore them. It's clear everyone here can read and exhibit judgment. The angry poster scenario sorts itself out over time.

                                I make an exception if it's clear their type of fighting will poison the water for all. E.g. Remarks that are implicitly or explicitly racist. That I report without hesitation or remorse.

                                1. Hit the report button. I'd rather err on the side of "over reporting" than under and let the mod team decide. Also by the time someone reviews the situation, it often has escalated and all that could have been avoided with early reporting.

                                  Waste of time to feed trolls, the message just gets deleted and I could have been doing something more productive. . . though I can't say I always take my own advice.

                                  2 Replies
                                  1. re: Melanie Wong

                                    Reporting it to the mods often doesn't kill a troll.

                                    Many times a troll won't be outright obvious.

                                    For example, if someone asked for the best restaurant in NYC, and the troll said "American Kitchen and Bar" how is that a reportable offense?

                                    Even if said troll were to go on and opine about how great the burgers and fries are at American Kitchen and that they make Per Se seem like McDonald's, I still don't see how that's a post that the Mods would take down.

                                    I could be wrong, however.

                                    While an exaggeration perhaps, but I believe that's the kind of troll the OP was referring to.

                                    1. re: Melanie Wong

                                      I like to paraphrase that old satirical adage (sounds like something that might have come out of Chicago in the Al Capone and Eliot Ness days) with regard to voting:

                                      "Report early and Report often"

                                    2. I used to try reasoning with them, clue them in, etc. Found it isn't productive to give clues to the clueless. It's usually best to ignore, but occasionally one doesn't realize what's going on until too late and you've been sucked in.

                                      It's important to remember that choosing to stop participating is NOT the same as admitting defeat. If its necessary you can end things by saying that you have decided to "agree to disagree" and leave it at that. Often the obstinate poster will choose to claim victory at that point. Uhh... ok, fine whatever, I have better things to do like find out what strange thing someone found at Costco or the Dollar Store this week.

                                      3 Replies
                                      1. re: KaimukiMan

                                        " Often the obstinate poster will choose to claim victory at that point."

                                        At least we don't have to watch them do a touchdown "dance" in front of us in the end zone... ;-D> (having football on the brain during the playoffs is not a pretty problem)

                                        1. re: Servorg

                                          Careful Servorg.

                                          That might be the next "feature" in the Chow software update.

                                        2. I used to try to lure them further down the primrose path toward self-destruction, but was advised simply not to feed the trolls. I report some and mods are responsive.

                                          1. There are a few posters who are particularly combative, and I used to try to engage them in a discussion. Now, I report every post that I find argumentative, nasty or clearly provoking -- whether to me or someone else. The mods are pretty responsive in deleting the offending posts, but of course I have no idea what goes on between the mods and the troll -- whether they are warned or whatever, but I have learned to avoid engaging them in any discussion even when they are purposefully attacking me.

                                            2 Replies
                                            1. re: roxlet

                                              My grandfather gave me sage advice.

                                              "you can't win a pissing contest with a skunk"

                                              1. re: sal_acid

                                                I now love your grandfather. That's a great expression.

                                                Mr Taster

                                              1. My two mottoes when I worked the customer service desk at a bank (and you know how cranky people can get about their money!).

                                                1. Take the high road.

                                                2. Kill 'em with kindness. It disarms them.

                                                1. I tend to ignore. Each one of us has a different idea of what is annoying (as shown by some of the examples in this discussion). I occasionally indulge in the sport of troll-feeding (she says, hanging her head in shame).

                                                  What drives me batty is a situation slightly different from what I think you're talking about which is when a new poster comes in throwing his/her weight around, and/or being rude or insulting, doesn't like the responses s/he gets and starts complaining about how rude people are being. Anyone who thinks people on chowhound are rude needs to go back to fairy land -- chowhound is in about the 90th percentile of civility among discussion sites on the internet!

                                                  6 Replies
                                                  1. re: Ruth Lafler

                                                    'I occasionally indulge in the sport of troll-feeding (she says, hanging her head in shame).' LOL

                                                    Concur that Chowhound has a wonderful cast of characters with civility and decorum in the 90+% percentile that is unprecedented for an on-line forum..
                                                    \We have incredible MODS.

                                                    1. re: Beach Chick

                                                      We do. I get deleted sometimes, and about 99 percent of the time I deserved it.

                                                      I spent many years on an unmoderated usenet forum infested by one of the most vile trolls imaginable. She would "befriend" people offline and then use personal things she learned about them against them in ways that would make the Westboro Baptist Church proud. Having experienced the "joys" of an unmoderated forum, I'll accept the moderation here gladly, even when it's directed towards me!

                                                      1. re: Ruth Lafler

                                                        'She would "befriend" people offline and then use personal things she learned about them against them in ways that would make the Westboro Baptist Church proud'
                                                        WOW..from a psychology standpoint, I'm fascinated by how their mind works.

                                                        I've been to the watershed many times from the MODS and have no issues with it...maybe once or twice but all is forgiven..they all do such a great job!

                                                        There is a poster from another forum that is so whacked and did similar things and could see the circling of the drain of responses and alerted the mods...they were banned and come back to life with a new name but you can see the writing styles a mile away.

                                                        Always so great to read your posts Ruth...you are a truly beloved treasure on Chowhound!

                                                        We are dealing with a somewhat new poster who has been so combative that it sucks the happy out of our board.

                                                        1. re: Beach Chick

                                                          Oh yeah, her mind was an ugly sewer. One that sticks in my mind was "God knew what he was doing when he gave you that miscarriage." Even more surprising was that she had her own little set of followers -- people who weren't so much evil as stupid and vicious. Some people will do anything to "belong"!

                                                          1. re: Ruth Lafler

                                                            I put down my Diet coke at that quote, Ruth. Un be freaking lievable. And so sorry you had to encounter it at any level.

                                                            1. re: pinehurst

                                                              Just to clarify, that wasn't aimed at me. But it was just so unforgettably beyond the pale -- that's why it reminds me of WBC. She also went after a woman who had just lost her husband to a drunk driver.

                                                  2. I'm try to be mindful to ignore becuz what a person like that usually feeds on is in fact a comment back. I'm not always successful tho becuz being rude right back is coming down to their level which admittedly I'm guilty of.
                                                    report ? > sure BUT the odds of getting a reported post deleted doesn't necessarily happen just becuz you've asked.

                                                    1. We are all human, and no one is perfect. Everone has the right to express themself. If it offends you ignore it. what harm has it done?

                                                      7 Replies
                                                      1. re: Mollybud

                                                        "Everone has the right to express themself. If it offends you ignore it. what harm has it done?"

                                                        The problem comes from the first part of your thought above. When a flame war breaks out then the actual content being discussed gets lost in the verbal fisticuffs that break out.

                                                        The second part of your thought above seems to completely contradict your first part. If posters would simply report posts that they think are offensive and leave it up to the site moderators to determine whether the post is in direct violation of this sites rules and policies we would have many fewer problems.

                                                          1. re: Mollybud

                                                            The content of the discussion is completely swamped by the flaming fight that breaks out when everyone decides to exercise that "right" to express themselves. It also invites outside agitators if let go that have no interest in the mission/intent of this site but just come to fan the flames and troll as outrageously as they can.

                                                            1. re: Servorg

                                                              If I may add, everyone has a bad day. Sometimes a person can be overly aggressive or sensitive for reasons outside of this forum. The words should be taken away so the relationship between writer and reader doesn't sustain long-lasting damage.

                                                            2. re: Mollybud

                                                              If they perceive the environment to be hostile, people who might have something valuable to contribute will go elsewhere. I've seem people remark about being intimidated by the discussion here -- just imagine if people were allowed to flame away at will!

                                                              Mostly, I'll note that people agree to the moderation here as part of the terms and conditions when they sign up. This is a commercial enterprise and the owners have the right to run it any way they want to, and the posters have no rights at all!

                                                          2. re: Mollybud

                                                            <what harm has it done?>

                                                            The problem, for me, arises when the person 'expressing themselves' blatantly lies about something I've posted.
                                                            My ignoring them, which I do, it only allows that person to have posted something that's not true without any consequence.

                                                            1. re: Mollybud

                                                              Be VERY careful Mollybud:) VERY careful:(