Hipster New Years

[captain_vegetable]

While I like lots of things hipsters like (I mean I've been to a secret Arcade Fire concert in a church basement), I like making fun of hipsters. In my ongoing quest of hipster mockery, I'm going to be having a Hipster New Years Party this year. Putting together an outfit is easy. What's harder is the food. What are hipster foods?

I already get my veggies from a CSA and everything I make will be vegetarian. I can buy PBR (which I hate) and microbrews (which I enjoy) and pick up some now-ironic 1980s cups from my parents' house. What else???

[alkonost]

Any american-style maki roll should do, especially ones with cream cheese, spam, fritos, fried ingredients, jalapenos (or spicy sauce) and cooked fish.

Examples:
1) Sushi burritos
2) Spicy smoked salmon roll with deep-fried crawfish and fake crab salad
3) Frito pie sushi roll (fritos, chilli, cheddar)
4) Spam with pineapple and cream cheese roll

Basically anything that sounds like it would send Sukiyabashi Jiro to an early grave. You get the idea...

[Fowler]

Throw one of those Freegan parties. It will not cost you a dime and will certainly please the hipsters.

[David11238]

I sure do wish this thread and all of the replies had 'Like' buttons.

[tonifi]

David11238, I concur. And now I want macaroni and cheese. And bacon. And Everclear. And some snap 'n' pops.

[lemons]

From the years that influence hipsterdom: A party w/ the Everclear punch served in a (new) trash can, all furniture removed to a back room and - crowning touch - kitchen cabinets nailed shut. (Host concerned re guests raiding them for God knows what.

[salsailsa]

ahhh, everclear punch a la trash can. Excellent!

[lemons]

I do recall leaving the party about 4:30 a.m. down some icy wooden stairs (It was New Year's Day) and announcing that I now understood the psychology of the whirling dervish. I am sure this was because I had danced most of the night, a most uncommon behavior for me. Got home in one piece, too. Perhaps my heightened state of awareness was 2ry to the Everclear.

[cresyd]

I understand that everything at this party will be vegetarian - but Slate recently had an article about the newest hipster trend being hunting for your own meat. The beginning of the article starts with this:
"2006: Reads Michael Pollan’s The Omnivore’s Dilemma, about the ickyness of the industrial food complex. Starts shopping at a farmer’s market.
2008: Puts in own vegetable garden. Tries to go vegetarian but falls off the wagon.
2009: Decides to only eat “happy meat” that has been treated humanely.
2010: Gets a chicken coop and a flock of chickens.
2011: Dabbles in backyard butchery of chickens. Reads that Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg decided to only eat meat he killed himself for a year.
2012: Gets a hunting permit, thinking “how hard can it be? I already totally dominate Big Buck Hunter at the bar.”

However, having a party where all the meat served has been killed by the cook might be a pretty strong way to guarantee having a vegetarian party.

[FoodPopulist]

It's stuff like this which occasionally causes me to eat a Big Mac while imagining the hipster tears that might occur if they could see me doing it.

[4X4]

How about only serving food bought from food trucks and drinks from "speakeasy" type bars. Because hipsters love food trucks and secret drinking clubs.

[Wahooty]

My so-hipster-he-swears-he's-not-a-hipster-but-loves-a-restaurant-more-if-it-has-no-sign friend has been threatening to subject me to vegan pulled "pork" for ages now. I don't know his recipe, but I believe the basic idea is something like this:
http://cleangreensimple.com/2011/05/c...

[Justpaula]

I don't know if you have seen this, or if anyone posted it here yet:

Hipster Thanksgiving
http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=x1hLRE...

I think I laughed the hardest at the part about "the suggestion of wildflower" in the dish.

[cleopatra999]

OMG too funny!!

"I find plates oppressive" LOL!! Love it.

[MsDiPesto]

That was great!

[hill food]

yeah, a roommate once said some innocuous dish was "too political" I think it was a frittata or a Spanish tortilla...

[jester99]

most was covered here, everything neesds to be homemade, and focus on condiments, pickles, jams, hot sauces. True you would go with PBR as the first choice, but go with a keg. Try and forage some of the foods, or freegan it at a local TJs or fairway. Find obscure ethnic foods, the more obscure the better, and make sure there is descent lighting on the food, for tweeting/instagram purposes.

And if nothing works, order Dominos, you know in an ironic kind of way.

[takadi]

First rule of the hipster - always deny you're a hipster

[hyacinthgirl]

uh-oh

[takadi]

hahaha that's exactly what I said

[EWSflash]

Me too.

[hill food]

nobody's a hipster anymore. or is it that anymore only nobodies are hipsters?

when I lived in Lower Haight SF I wore Brooks Brothers and ate steak. in DC I attained a taste for Diesel and vegan.

[melpy]

Pretty sure this just pushed my sister into hipster territory. Is it sad that I have hipster envy? Too bad I live in Central PA which is decidedly unhipster.

[Jay F]

I'm not a hipster, but I wear hipster glasses (black Exeter frames from classicspecs.com) and shave no more than twice a week.

Oh, and I like fun.'s "We Are Young" so much, I ordered their album.

[jljohn]

Hey, I grew up in Central PA! (But I live in Mass. now, in a completely hipster-saturated section of Boston.) Mind me asking what town you're in?

[melpy]

Carlisle, which actually may have quite a few hipsters being a college town. But nothing compared to the Baltimore area where I grew up.

[hyacinthgirl]

I tried to convince everyone in LA that I was moving to Central PA ironically.... ; )

[MsDiPesto]

Don't forget some component of "stunt eating", involving bizarre utensils or ingredients. Fried grasshopper tacos?

[hetook]

... and also pose for some bogus photos, downing ounce shots... of Crisco. (make sure the bottle's in the pic).

[MsDiPesto]

Yes!!! And the perfect stunt food came to me today!! Are you hip enough...for...

Chicken Tartare?

I think last year some establishment in NYC was actually offering it.

"Are you gonna try it?" "Yeah, I'm an Omnivore!"

[hetook]

If it was sprinkled lovingly with some Smoked Fleur de Sel.,I'd slip into a pair of skin tight G. Star Raw jeans and, join ya.

[4X4]

Instead of having a party, go to Applebee's.

http://eater.com/archives/2011/11/15/...

[hill food]

but if bystanders don't notice or understand the self-referential irony does it count (and do they smirk?)?

there's a koan.

[hetook]

You're serving drinks right? Any hipster would go for a tasty kombucha cocktail. Not too late to start some homebrew but healthfood stores will carry it premade...just add the booze and etc.

[EWSflash]

That reminds me of a joke- guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "And get that d---bag over at the end of the bar a drink, too." Bartender tells the guy that she's a regular customer and not to disrespect her, gets fairly shirty with the guy, who finally apologizes and tells the barkeep to please get her a drink. Barkeep goes over to her and tells her that the guy would like to buy her a drink. She says "Thanks! I'll have a vinegar and water."
That, to me, is what a kombucha cocktail would taste like.

[hetook]

Ha,Ha..I remember this joke. K-bucha is pretty cool. U can make a beer cocktail or Sangria. I wouldn't use with hard liquor. I tried a Bucha-rita the other day...it was just okay.

[antennastoheaven]

One of the bars I go to serves a tasty cocktail: Kombucha + vodka + cran or blackcurrant...in a mason jar, of course :D

The other thing that seems to have gotten really popular around here is a pint or tallboy of cheap beer accompanied by a shot of Fernet.

[hetook]

Sure, another hipster use of Kombucha is making a light vinegarette, for a organic salad of mesclun baby greens. Then all you need is the suspenders and glasses .

[antennastoheaven]

The hipster in me is very excited about kombucha vinaigrette. Thanks! I tip my brimmed hat to you, sir.

[EWSflash]

OMG hipsters- I just want to... oh never mind

[FoodPopulist]

Let me complete that...I just want to eat food that I know hipsters would refuse to eat.

[EWSflash]

Much better than what I was thinking. :-)

[LisaPA]

Popcorn. Popcorn cooked in different fats is all the rage here. Use bacon fat, or truffle oil, or duck fat.

[hill food]

PBR? too trendy, do a trash-can punch mixed up with enough Everclear to strip paint and if they want it weaker they can add ice. unscrew all the lightbulbs (except the bathroom and the porch light) and play polka music mixed up with Joy Division. and snap 'n' pops - lots.

food? the twee-er the better. if any. ok maybe small bowls of Japanese rice crackers and homemade Thai inspired beef jerky. deviled quail eggs.

[EM23]

Admittedly, I don’t know hipster culture – but your Joy Division reference lit the hairs on my neck. They can have New Order, but not JD. Gawd, what’s next? My beloved Jam?

[hill food]

that would be the bitterest pill indeed

oh it all gets co-opted sooner or later. last year Talking Heads and Pete Shelley songs were being used in Xmas retailer commercials.

I find myself humming a particular Clash tune when I'm lost at the supermarket.

[kattyeyes]

Doesn't everybody? :) "I can no longer shop happily..."

[hill food]

we're all lost.

[EM23]

Indeed, and so hard to swallow:) Wha Pete Shelley? – missed that.
But speaking of being lost in the supermarket - while searching for special offers earlier today, I noticed Campbell’s new soup line and thought the Moroccan Style Chicken with Chickpeas had a particularly hipster look to the packaging.
http://www.campbellsgo.com/#!/post/29...
Captain Veg – how about a cardboard food truck set-up, dishing up shot glasses of this soup for your party? It’s sure to guarantee a New York Style Life, whatever that means.

[Terrie H.]

Consider wording your invitation like so many posts here begin...

"SO, I want...." or "SO, I need," etc. Apparently, every sentence or thought begins with "SO, I..."

[antennastoheaven]

I am curious why you are doing vegetarian? All the young hipsters in my uber-hipster neighborhood in Seattle are stuffing their faces full of meat, especially if it is unusual/specialty cuts, or done up like comfort food (corn dogs with lots of toppings, chicken and waffles, etc) ...much to my chagrin since I'm an old hipster who eats vegan and have no options at most of these new trendy joints!

Agree with recommendations about mac & cheese and pickled stuff.

If you want something fancier than PBR to drink, the hipsters who can afford to do so here are all about craft cocktails, especially house-infused liquor and homemade bitters.

[cleopatra999]

what about some old school drinks like old fashioneds, manhattans and campari?

I think you could certainly do some head to tail style foods as well, as long as your meat is locally sourced and grass fed!

[gingershelley]

Plus one with antennastoheaven; Hipsters around here (also SEA) are serving things like Momofuku Bo Ssam at dinner parties (easy and delicious, and a great idea for your event!), or smoking things, or eating a whole pig snout to tail, etc.

And Plus 1 on the craft cocktails. You still have a couple weeks to infuse some gin, rye, etc. and make some bitters:)

[beachmouse]

And cocktails should be served in mason jars. (Yeah, I've read and laughed at the hipster wedding flow chart.)

[Wawsanham]

That sounds like the mason-jar-style glasses they serve(d?) their drinks in at the "Po Folks" chain of restaurants. Definitely an unhippster place, though maybe with irony...

[melpy]

Have y'all seen the mason jar goblet/wine glasses?

[gingershelley]

Oooh - yes; a 'facebook friend', aka a gal I went to HS with, but was not close with, posted that she had been making them all summer and sold them at the decidedly NOT-hipster county fair in a rural northern county.....

Probably puchased tho, by hipsters who went to the fair for irony and to oggle all the pickles and baby goats, and they left with mason jar wine glasses for future giggles with their hipster friends - they will serve PUNCH in them:)

[CupcakeCoquette]

Agreed on the meat eating hipster comment. Here in Chicago hipsters love their pork, especially bacon. Bacon Bloody Mary's, Bacon in Mac n Cheese...I'm also noticing lots of eggs in non-breakfast fashion. Steak with a poached egg on top. Deviled eggs with chorizo.

[captain_vegetable]

To explain the veg - I'm a pescatarian (I eat fish and no other meat) and I have a few kosher people who will likely be coming. It's just easier to keep everything vegetarian.

[HillJ]

Sushi

[Big Bad Voodoo Lou]

Finger foods (little sandwiches, vegetable crudites, etc.) cut into mustache shapes. Mustaches seem to be just as trendy and hipsterrifc as beards these days, whether they are bushy or waxed or handlebar-style.

Definitely get a variety of picked fruits and veggies. Pickling is all the rage!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYey8n...

You could also serve drinks in Mason jars meant for pickling.

[LisaPA]

Mustache straws! Really, anything from Urban Outfitters. http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/...

[Big Bad Voodoo Lou]

Real hipsters would want to avoid Urban Outfitters, a mega-corporation owned by a right-wing Republican donor, who is always in the news for mimicking and mass-producing trends (so they won't be cool anymore!) and stealing artists' work without crediting or compensating them.

http://www.fastcompany.com/1752851/npr-hearts-urban-outfitters-feelings-not-mutual
http://www.snopes.com/politics/business/hayne.asp
http://www.chron.com/business/article/Barrage-of-tweeted-criticism-hits-Urban-Outfitters-1693445.php
http://www.csmonitor.com/Business/Lat...

[charles_sills]

why is it hipsters hate all mega corporations, with the exception of apple?

[BiscuitBoy]

and northface

[globocity]

Actually, from what I've read (can't reveal my sources!), there's a slow Apple backlash surfacing. Wait for it....

[charles_sills]

choose one;
all vegan.
only serve things you found in a dumpster.
or serve everything you normally do, but do it "ironically."

[globocity]

all vegan.

I disagree. Meat has become big with this crowd. Bacon-infused this, bacon-wrapped that.

[Novelli]

I'm thinking sleeve tattoos with flannel shirts, thick rimmed black glasses, and plenty of beards! Oh, don't forget the fedoras!

[gingershelley]

Sounds like the average day in Portland, OR, or..... as we like to call it; Portlandia!

[melpy]

This is a literal description of my sister's ex. Minus the fedora.

[hyacinthgirl]

We through a hipster party a few years ago. We went with organic vegetables and large bowls of cereal like Cookie Crisp. Hipsters go pretentious high and ironic low. Also, lollipops!

[captain_vegetable]

Are you telling me that the hipster party has been done. Forget it. Party's off!!! =)

[hyacinthgirl]

Dude, like 3 years ago, so.... yeah.

We also had beer pong and karaoke, big hits.
And now I'll tell you my favorite hipster jokes:
How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb?

It's a really obscure number, you probably haven't heard of it.

And, to bring it back to food-
How did the hipster burn his mouth?

He ate his pizza before it was cool.

[cleopatra999]

How much does a hipster weigh?

An Instagram!

[hyacinthgirl]

ha! awesome : )

[FoodPopulist]

I've seen cereal on lists of hipster food.

[seamunky]

Potholders and trivets - the ultimate hipster cooking accessory: Holding pots and pans before it was cool.

[antennastoheaven]

hahahaha, that's awesome.

[captain_vegetable]

My husband's joke (that he probably stole from somewhere): Why did the hipster burn his mouth? Because he drank coffee before it was cool.

[cowboyardee]

I can think of few things more hipster-ish than an ironic hipster-themed party.

Coffee is a good idea. Sriracha is a good idea. Mixing and matching cultures is a good idea (having a make your own bibimbap station along side quesadillas, vegetarian ramen, and jazzed up mac n cheese). Creative facial hair is a plus, so start growing now.

[captain_vegetable]

I'm female ... based on my lineage I probably won't grow facial fair for another 40 years or so ... That being said, I'm planning on buying thick-rimmed eye glasses as party favours. Oh ... and good point on the party itself being hipster. I probably would be a hipster if I actually thought it was worth the money or effort.

[kattyeyes]

HA HA HA HA re your first sentence--NEVER ASSUME! :)

[zitronenmadchen]

Aw crap, I've thrown a party like that. I've always suspected I was a pair of glasses away from being a hipster, except I don't care what music people listen to. I'm all for decorating with birds though.

[cleopatra999]

"put a bird on it! put a bird on it" teehee

[Savour]

Homemade pickles, natch. And jam. Artisanal bacon. Kale salad.

[BiscuitBoy]

ah yes, the mighty kale

[kattyeyes]

Ooh, make kale smoothies and spike them for the occasion! NOM! Little smoothie shots!

[globocity]

Hey now. Kale has been used and appreciated by those of us too old and way too uncool to resemble anything hipsterish. They took our beloved vegetable and bastardized it.

[LisaPA]

I was going to suggest homemade pickles. But not cucumber. It's got to be green beans or carrots or a mix from the CSA of seasonal produce.

[hill food]

I wonder how turnips might take to a pickle...

[captain_vegetable]

I've done it. It works well with little white summer turnips. Think Lebanese pickles.

[EM23]

You may get some hipster cooking and party ideas from the incredibly annoying hipster, Brothers Green on the Hungry Channel. http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=brothers+green&oq=brothers+green&gs_l=youtube-reduced.3..0l4.8044.12826.0.13379.14.11.0.3.3.0.135.819.9j2.11.0...0.0...1ac.1.6PgP590ZVqQ

http://www.dnainfo.com/new-york/20120...

[BiscuitBoy]

overly sweetened, overly priced, overly sized, coffee drinks, red bull or monster anything, oh, and an app for it all, so nobody actually interacts face to face

[FoodPopulist]

Only if the coffee is organic, free trade coffee.

[BiscuitBoy]

locally sourced from humanely grown, free range, heirloom plants

[FoodPopulist]

Mac and Cheese with a double digit number of different types of cheeses. The more, the better. The more foreign-sounding, and therefore pretentious, the better. It should be stoner food that a hipster thinks is elevated because of fancy ingredients, but really the hipster has been smoking too much weed.

Dishes incorporating Sriracha sauce, aka hipster Tabasco. Deviled eggs with Sriracha. Buffalo-style fried tofu (or whatever is a useful vegetarian substitute for chicken wings) with a Sriracha-based sauce. Sriracha hummus with home-made pita chips. Bonus points if you can take a retro dish from the 1950s and add Sriracha to it, maybe a retro iceberg lettuce wedge salad with a Sriracha dressing.

[captain_vegetable]

I have sriracha at home but I think that my own homemade hot sauce (which I made recently) may be more hipster. Maybe I'll serve that with sriracha! =)

I was already thinking mac and cheese and maybe grilled cheese. For the last few years, we've been making poutine from scratch at parties which may be hipster but, well, it's been done before so it's decidedly un-hipster.

[kattyeyes]

Did I see mac & cheese formed into little balls somewhere? Maybe panko-coated and deep-fried? Maybe it was a dream...

[zitronenmadchen]

Trader Joe's sold Mac n' Cheese bites, so that might be too mainstream for the hipstertification party

[kattyeyes]

Oh, noooooooo! I shoulda stuck to kale smoothie shots! ;)

[FoodPopulist]

That's why you have to make it a Camembert-Havarti-Dubliner-Butterkase-Gorgonzola-Manchego-Double Gloucester-Cotija-Pepperjack-Gouda-Chevre mac and cheese, topped with sriracha and a dandelion green puree.

[hill food]

well if one hand-foraged the dandelion greens themselves, sure. I mean, duh.

[thelittlemiller]

"It should be stoner food that a hipster thinks is elevated because of fancy ingredients, but really the hipster has been smoking too much weed."

SO. TRUE.

I am in college and therefore everyone is pretty much a hipster. Anything one might desire to eat after partaking in drug-related activities is doctored up with fancy/foreign/obscure ingredients. Mac and cheese is definitely a big one. Grilled cheese with eight different ingredients. Hot dogs topped with obscure ingredients (a la Asia Dog, in NYC). Internationally inspired burritos (Thai-style with peanut sauce, Korean style with kimchi, mediterranean with hummus and feta). Pizza, topped with seasonal ingredients and obscure cheeses. Ice cream with favorite childhood cereals mixed in (namely, Lucky Charms, Reese's Puffs or Cinnamon Toast Crunch). Oreos, with a layer of peanut butter/hot sauce/nutella/cookie butter/etc. added in. Tater tot nachos. Sandwich that uses pancakes or waffles instead of bread.

Also, everyone I know has a giant bottle of Sriracha in their kitchen. I'm not sure when it became "the only condiment worth using". But it seems like that's how it is regarded in my circle...

[globocity]

A bit off thread here but the definition of hipster seems to be getting more inclusive. If everyone in college is a hipster (I appreciate your hyperbole), well then someone needs to mix things up to make themselves oh-so-unique. Perhaps instead of mustaches, mutton chops (a la 1970s)? Forgo the vests for togas? Anything to continue the trend of ridiculous, from-another-era-fashion, and inexplicably trendy drinks.

[FoodPopulist]

If I wanted to annoy hipsters, I would invite them to a party with all the food made from Paula Deen recipes.

[Jay F]

Have you seen die hipster? http://diehipster.wordpress.com/

[cleopatra999]

here is a site for you:
http://herculodge.typepad.com/herculo...
it was pretty funny doing some research on this topic.

[Jay F]

That was just lovely, cleopatra. A "hipster guide" named after my favorite singer-songwriter.

And I am so many of those things, particularly anti-salad dressing.

[captain_vegetable]

Amazing. Thank you. I think I'll post this on the wall at the party.

[gingershelley]

Very funny/ironic/hipster! Great blog un-earth cleopatra!

[jmcarthur8]

Oh, dear, cleopatra. The hubster has a burr grinder and a french press.

And I used to drink a certain 3-letter beer back in the 70s when we just called it Pabst and I was married to a steelworker who wore flannel shirts to work. And he had thick safety glasses with dark rims that looked like Groucho glasses.
I'm sure I'm much too old to be a hipster. But I do eat like them, apparently. My son and my son-in-law have tried several times to explain hipster to me, and I just can't wrap my brain around it. Maybe it's because so much of the hipsterishness was just part of life to some of us back in the day.