La Storia Review (Pete Wells style)
When I read the Guy Fieri's review, I thought I would never have an experience that bad. Sure enough, one week later...
LaStoria owners, have you ever eaten at your restaurant in Stoughton? Have you shuffled up the stairs past overcrowded tables and bumped fellow diners? Did you eat the food? Did it live up to your expectations?
Did the hostess offer you a menu to choose your food from? After 10 minutes of sitting without menus, did your server start reading the specials from her book without even noticing that you didn't have menus? Did she then ignore your table for 15 minutes because there were no menus available in the restaurant. Did another server when asked for menus offer the excuse, "there are menus on practically every table right now," and then walk straight past one of his own tables that was ready to order?
How does your restaurant decide which tables get bread? Is there a selection process? A lottery?
When asked if the special Frutti De Mar could be served with red sauce instead of cream sauce, did your server offer to check with the kitchen and then never get back to you? Was that ultimately unnecessary since Frutti De Mar with red sauce is on the regular menu? Was that mystery only solved after the menus were delivered by a busboy to your table 30 minutes after you were seated?
How long do empty water glasses typically sit on the tables? Is that something one of the many empty handed servers walking by could have taken care of? Is there a one glass of water per person maximum at your restaurant?
When your server finally took your order after 45 minutes of sitting and you mentioned that you were starving, would that have been a good time to bring the bread? And did your server overrule your request to bring out the salad and soup before the appetizer making you wait to eat even longer? At that point, did your wife consider eating the empty water glass lemon slices before threatening to eat your head?
Did you question what the calamari did to deserve that treatment? Were you concerned that the restaurant was angry at the poor squid? And did you worry that they were punishing them by cooking them for a protracted period in underheated oil? Was their goal to serve a plate-sized piece of calamari like a bloomin' onion that must be pried apart?
NOTE: After one bite each, we sent back the calamari and told the waitress we were abandoning our meal. We left a $10 bill to pay for one flat draft beer and we left the table.
And when you asked the same hostess to get the manager so you could complain, was she able to find a manager? Did she even know where to look? Was she overwhelmed by which task to attempt next: seating a table or finding the manager? Did the other hostess offer to help her? Did hostess one then ignore the manager request and walk a group of four to a two-top table right in front of you before walking them back to the host stand confused?
Did you then just walk out the door and head to a local pizza joint that couldn't possibly do a worse job at the basic functions of operating a restaurant?
I have a 10 minute rule. I'll wait 10 minutes without a menu and then get up and get one myself. If that fails, I am gone. I think even 10 minutes to just get a menu is generous.
Not that there aren't restaurants downtown that could warrant similar reviews, but why does it seem the like suburbs have far more colossal failures where nothing at all seems to go right? Is the bar set that much lower? Does the average suburban diner not care or know better?