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Unwanted Advice at the Store

GraceW Nov 16, 2012 05:30 PM

At the store, I was looking at a display of holiday-oriented cookies. A man walks up and says, "No, you shouldn't eat that. You will gain weight." I tried to laugh it off and said, "Oh, it is for the holidays." And he said, "It doesn't matter. You shouldn't"--and walked away.

What the what? Since when is that appropriate or tasteful to tell people what to eat? I'll be honest: I am not overweight, not even close ... I felt like mini-gingerbread men.. I bought the cookies despite his opinion. But I wondered why/how he would even think to tell a stranger what to purchase....

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  1. monavano RE: GraceW Nov 16, 2012 05:35 PM

    Be very glad the weirdo said his piece and walked away. There's nothing to say to someone as strange as that and better to walk away. Seriously, that behavior is very odd and who knows if he would have escalated.

    1 Reply
    1. re: monavano
      hambone RE: monavano Nov 17, 2012 09:03 AM

      I have the advantage of being over six feet tall and not looking like the big teddy-bear I am. I find myself saying to people more and more often now, "Didn't your mother teach you you shouldn't talk to strangers."

    2. pinehurst RE: GraceW Nov 16, 2012 05:42 PM

      I agree with monavano: creepy. If you're inclined to creative writing, you have an intriguing beginning to a novel, maybe a thriller?--inspired by real life.

      1. linguafood RE: GraceW Nov 16, 2012 05:57 PM

        W. T. F. is really all I can say.

        WTFF?

        1. Quine RE: GraceW Nov 16, 2012 06:01 PM

          One could think kindly and just pass it off as a person who had some issue that compelled him to speak . You know, something like having no social filters.

          25 Replies
          1. re: Quine
            PotatoHouse RE: Quine Nov 16, 2012 06:07 PM

            What you are describing is a form of Autism called Aspberger's Syndrome. It may not have been the man's fault.

            1. re: PotatoHouse
              Bill Hunt RE: PotatoHouse Nov 16, 2012 08:20 PM

              OTOH, that person could have been part of the "food police," and thinking that they are doing their duty, to change the tastes, purchases, of others. Some feel so obliged.

              Hunt

              1. re: PotatoHouse
                Quine RE: PotatoHouse Nov 17, 2012 04:22 AM

                PotatoHouse, I am not Doctor, so I do not offer a diagnosis, nor is this the place for them. There are other conditions and personality traits, that can be responsible.
                All I am suggesting is that perhaps having a kinder viewpoint other than "creepy" or weird.

                1. re: Quine
                  PotatoHouse RE: Quine Nov 17, 2012 06:17 AM

                  Quine, read again. I never ONCE said "creepy" or "weird". So far, I am one of two who have offered a possible explanation that did NOT say or infer "creepy" or "weird". Aspberger's is a clinically diagnosed condition not a metaphor for "creepy" or "weird".

                  1. re: PotatoHouse
                    k
                    khuzdul RE: PotatoHouse Nov 17, 2012 07:26 AM

                    I think that this is a product of inability to have a robust conversation via boards. To me, you both are coming from the same direction, just slightly different tracts...

                    1. re: khuzdul
                      c
                      Custardly RE: khuzdul Jan 8, 2013 11:55 PM

                      khuzdul: Perhaps they both unknowingly suffer from Asperger's Board Syndrome? It's a common affliction on internet forums.

                    2. re: PotatoHouse
                      l
                      Lamanda RE: PotatoHouse Nov 17, 2012 10:24 AM

                      I think if you are going to diagnose people you've never met over the internet you should, at the very least, try to spell your diagnosis right.

                      1. re: Lamanda
                        q
                        Querencia RE: Lamanda Dec 5, 2012 04:09 PM

                        Actually, he missed the diagnosis too. He seems to be thinking of Tourette's Disorder. Folks with Asperger's are more likely to be socially withdrawn. But who's counting?

                        My favorite unsolicited grocery store comment was made by a woman in London who picked up a roast from Safeway's butcher counter, looked at the price, and said, " 'e want four pound for this, do 'e? Well, 'e can stick it up 'is
                        'ole, 'e can." This was in 1976; allow for inflation.

                      2. re: PotatoHouse
                        Quine RE: PotatoHouse Nov 17, 2012 05:16 PM

                        Wow, Guess you totally missed the point. Have a wonderful day!

                        1. re: Quine
                          d
                          dmjordan RE: Quine Nov 17, 2012 07:40 PM

                          Could you explain the point that you were making? (Seriously. I'm not being bitchy.) I seem to have missed it as well.

                          1. re: dmjordan
                            Quine RE: dmjordan Nov 18, 2012 10:52 PM

                            For various reasons and various medical issues, some people lack social "filters". So, they just, outright say what sometimes we think, but do not say out loud. Asperger's syndrome is just one. It is an autism spectrum disorder (ASD) that is characterized by significant difficulties in social interaction. But others apply as well. And there are just straight out self-appointed food/anything "police" who do exist.
                            My point was just to offer up, a reason that that indicated it may have not have been a "mean/stalker" issue, but someone who, for other reasons, felt compelled to express what the OP experienced.
                            Sure, the he may have be a whack-a-doddle, a food police ( I've interacted with those) or, perhaps someone with not so great social skills who was trying, what he thought was a compliment.
                            My response to PotatoHouse, was merely a comment, that reflected the whole of the posted replies to the OP. PotatoHouse chose to take it as a personal response. And so it goes. Again, I am not a Doctor, I am not making a diagnosis, I use spell check, know it is called Asperger disorder, as a past Bboyfriend has it, and I understand, it is not something that is mean-spirited, Rather it is just not a "filter" they have. Have I helped?

                            1. re: Quine
                              ursy_ten RE: Quine Nov 20, 2012 03:53 AM

                              Thank you both to Quine and PotatoHouse. I have Asperger's syndrome and am thankful for the good intentions behind your posts.

                              1. re: Quine
                                d
                                dmjordan RE: Quine Nov 21, 2012 01:04 PM

                                Sorry you had to do all of that typing. I am aware of everything you wrote in the first two paragraphs. I was confused that you were responding to Potato House with that comment. I guess I took it the same way he/she did. That's why I wasn't sure what point you were making.

                      3. re: PotatoHouse
                        t
                        taos RE: PotatoHouse Nov 17, 2012 05:18 AM

                        Or he was just being a jerk. Or he was trying to make a comment on your current thinness and the idea that you would lose that if you ate cookies. Or he is really averse to people eating sweets.

                        Sometimes people just act in socially-unacceptable ways. It does not mean they have some "syndrome" and can't help it.

                        1. re: taos
                          Tripeler RE: taos Nov 17, 2012 05:27 AM

                          Grace (the OP),

                          Or, he was trying to pick you up, but was so inept socially that all he could do was make an issue about your potential weight gain, in his imagination. Overall, I agree with Harters take on the situation, which is posted far below.

                          1. re: Tripeler
                            Bill Hunt RE: Tripeler Nov 17, 2012 07:30 PM

                            "Socially inept," came to my mind too. However, we may never know the full details, unless they "catch the perv... " Sorry - could not resist.

                            Hunt

                          2. re: taos
                            r
                            rohirette RE: taos Dec 6, 2012 12:42 PM

                            Thank you, Taos.

                            I have had quite enough of this environment where the injured party is admonished for not spending time scouring the web for possible PC explanations of the offender's conduct.

                          3. re: PotatoHouse
                            v
                            vegiefudie RE: PotatoHouse Jan 9, 2013 01:15 PM

                            If you don't know what you are talking about, you might as well keep quiet. As a father of a boy with Autism (and many of his friends being Aspie), thats not how their social interaction skills work.

                            1. re: vegiefudie
                              r
                              rccola RE: vegiefudie Jan 9, 2013 02:07 PM

                              I have to say you are right. As the wife of a man with Asperger's (neuro-psychological testing, not just a wife bitching) but greatly improving with working on skills, he'd never have said that directly to a stranger. He would have said something about her choices/volume to me, though without regard to the stranger hearing him.

                              1. re: rccola
                                ursy_ten RE: rccola Jan 9, 2013 05:20 PM

                                It's a huge spectrum with great variety, and we have to learn these things over time. I might not say such a thing now because I've learned better, but in my younger years, it's entirely possible I could have.

                                These things, in hindsight, were like "well, Duh" moments - but the intention was never bad. It all just comes out wrong.

                                I also know a lot of Aspies who are more severe than me, and who might never learn from these mistakes. I also know Aspies who know not to say these things too - like my daughter. But is this because she was diagnosed very young and we helped her with social awareness? There are a lot of undiagnosed people out there who have no idea.

                                Either way, I appreciate those who are trying to point out that "assholery" might not have been the motive.

                                1. re: ursy_ten
                                  r
                                  rccola RE: ursy_ten Jan 9, 2013 05:30 PM

                                  And my husband is living proof that, no matter what the age, someone can improve. He's even learned to modulate his voice so, if he says something like that to me, the victim of his attention can't hear.

                                  But leave open the concept that this guy may have been an asshole who has no desire to improve. Perhaps a new psychiatric diagnostic classification should be made: Asshole--recalcitrant. .

                                  1. re: rccola
                                    ursy_ten RE: rccola Jan 9, 2013 06:26 PM

                                    Of course :)

                                    My main point is that nearly everyone's first reaction is always "asshole", and this is not always the case, and it's nice for people to be aware of that.

                                2. re: rccola
                                  c
                                  Custardly RE: rccola Jan 9, 2013 08:29 PM

                                  So you made him get tested rather than admitting you're a preachy wife? Of course I'm just kidding, it was just funny reading how you qualified your statement.

                                  Over the last few years it seems like Asperger's became the popular reason for others differing behavior. While it's great for awareness, it's sad that many have a misunderstanding of what it really is, especially when trying to label others.

                                  Thank you for sharing. Becoming more aware of things like this helps me to be less judgemental.

                                  1. re: Custardly
                                    r
                                    rccola RE: Custardly Jan 9, 2013 10:05 PM

                                    good

                            2. re: Quine
                              tcamp RE: Quine Nov 17, 2012 03:53 PM

                              That is what I would do. I admit I have offered unsoliciited advice but usually of a positive nature - "oh, you'll enjoy that XYZ, it is really good" type of stuff.

                              Life is too short to waste psychic energy on random musings of strangers.

                            3. b
                              binky1 RE: GraceW Nov 16, 2012 06:18 PM

                              some people are also so dry in their humor that they miss the mark. Whatever the case, this was about his need to say it, and it was your turn.

                              1 Reply
                              1. re: binky1
                                c
                                Custardly RE: binky1 Jan 9, 2013 08:33 PM

                                Guilty. Fortunately my smile more than makes up for it.

                              2. k
                                KrumTx RE: GraceW Nov 16, 2012 06:25 PM

                                Could have been any of the above, but on the chance that he's just a giant fruit loop, put your head down and move on! Easier said than done, though. Glad he walked away first!

                                1. Karl S RE: GraceW Nov 16, 2012 06:30 PM

                                  Such behavior is never appropriate; it is sociopathic behavior. Be perfectly still, and glare icily. Such people typically expect to fluster you, and don't like when their behavior is noticed for what it really is (as all bullies hate being called out, as it were). Passive avoidance is only advisable when the person might be physically dangerous.

                                  28 Replies
                                  1. re: Karl S
                                    Bill Hunt RE: Karl S Nov 16, 2012 08:23 PM

                                    However, I encounter it too often in California, where many feel appointed to control everyone around them, and especially regarding food.

                                    Not sure WHERE this incident happened, but I encounter similar, all too often in San Francisco, where many feel obligated to "correct" all of my choices.

                                    I just ignore, and move on.

                                    Hunt

                                    1. re: Bill Hunt
                                      linguafood RE: Bill Hunt Nov 17, 2012 08:13 AM

                                      Really, this is particular to California? I know the best nuts are from California, but would you care to share some of your many experiences where people felt obligated to correct all of your choices?

                                      1. re: linguafood
                                        Bill Hunt RE: linguafood Nov 17, 2012 07:33 PM

                                        Not sure the exact geography, where it might be particular, but I have encountered it in CA, mostly in San Francisco, but not in other parts of the US. Maybe I just missed it?

                                        I have had several, who commented from a near-by table, on my (or my wife's) choices of meals. As neither of us even acknowledged them, I felt rather put-out, that they should even indulge us in conversation, let alone comment on our choices.

                                        Hunt

                                        1. re: Bill Hunt
                                          cosmogrrl RE: Bill Hunt Nov 18, 2012 09:48 PM

                                          Never heard anyone comment on my food choices in SF, and I'm a native. I'm lucky I guess.

                                          1. re: cosmogrrl
                                            Bill Hunt RE: cosmogrrl Nov 20, 2012 06:16 PM

                                            I suppose that it is all about the where, the when, and then, the who is around you.

                                            Hunt

                                          2. re: Bill Hunt
                                            Lillipop RE: Bill Hunt Nov 18, 2012 10:15 PM

                                            The thing about San Francisco is that you were probably interacting with tourists Bill Hunt.I am a native Californian born in San Rafael just a few miles north of San Francisco in Marin County and then raised in Sonoma county from age four. From age eight until fourteen I spent every summer in San Francisco with my older sister and her husband. My experience with San Franciscans (as a child and an adult) is that they rarely speak unless spoken to:) Plus the city is so full of rude overbearing tourists that you have to prepared for anything when you are in the city.

                                            1. re: Lillipop
                                              cosmogrrl RE: Lillipop Nov 18, 2012 10:40 PM

                                              Their not all bad, I live near Huntington Sq. and see many everyday. Not a week goes by when I direct someone to wherever it is their going, or offer tips about places to eat, etc.

                                              1. re: Lillipop
                                                Bill Hunt RE: Lillipop Nov 20, 2012 06:18 PM

                                                Well, I AM a "tourist," but dine there about 60 nights per year, due to our travels. Obviously, not a local, but a frequent diner. Actually, I have had more negative interactions in "neighborhood" restaurants, than those, that I would typify as "tourist."

                                                Hunt

                                            2. re: linguafood
                                              cosmogrrl RE: linguafood Nov 18, 2012 10:36 PM

                                              Actually, we import most our nuts from other states :)

                                              1. re: cosmogrrl
                                                f
                                                foiegras RE: cosmogrrl Nov 20, 2012 05:44 PM

                                                Here in Texas, we prefer to import our nuts from other countries--other states as a last resort ;)

                                              2. re: linguafood
                                                c
                                                Custardly RE: linguafood Jan 9, 2013 12:09 AM

                                                "I know the best nuts are from California." Hey, an unintentional pun!

                                                1. re: Custardly
                                                  linguafood RE: Custardly Jan 9, 2013 08:44 AM

                                                  Not really.

                                                2. re: linguafood
                                                  Antilope RE: linguafood Nov 18, 2013 10:00 PM

                                                  Then there is the nutty checker that has to comment on everything you purchased as they ring it up. Just let me pay so I can go.

                                                  1. re: Antilope
                                                    w
                                                    WNYamateur RE: Antilope Nov 19, 2013 09:23 AM

                                                    Are customer service standards really that low in your store? That's be a firing offense in Wegman's

                                                    1. re: WNYamateur
                                                      sunshine842 RE: WNYamateur Nov 19, 2013 05:17 PM

                                                      alas, we can't all live near a Wegmans.

                                                      1. re: WNYamateur
                                                        Antilope RE: WNYamateur Nov 19, 2013 05:41 PM

                                                        This was one particular checker years ago, but I always tried to avoid them. Sometimes you couldn't.

                                                  2. re: Bill Hunt
                                                    l
                                                    latindancer RE: Bill Hunt Nov 17, 2012 08:26 AM

                                                    <However, I encounter it too often in California>

                                                    I was just having this conversation yesterday with a friend who was driving with me. We were behind a young man in an environmentally safe car who was going EXACTLY the speed limit in the passing (fast) lane. Anyone who knows LA freeways understands this is unadvisable. Everyone, including me, who passed him the on right, dodging traffic, got a big fat middle finger. The next stop for us was at Trader Joe's where I picked up a basket full of their tamales for my freezer. The checkout lady advised me they were loaded with calories (I know) and proceeded to tell us they weren't good for me and she stays away from them for that purpose. Our last stop was dinner. We both ordered our usual cabarnet, caesar salad, ribeye and creamed spinach. Neither one of us is even remotely overweight but our waiter (a young, good looking wannabe actor) informed us that if we continue to eat like this we'll be heffers in no time (not his words but eluded to it).
                                                    The world is filled with self-appointed guardians of the world and its inhabitants. In this city I've learn to laugh at it. If I took it all to heart I'd be 6 ft under in no time :).

                                                    1. re: latindancer
                                                      Karl S RE: latindancer Nov 17, 2012 09:03 AM

                                                      That's why I say keep dogma out of food and in religion where it can do less harm. Give me a bible thumper over the food guardians any day. The food guardians don't realize how noxious they are; the bible thumper knows and employs it as a shtick, and so you can actually mutually acknowledge reality with a bible thumper in a way you cannot with a food guardian.

                                                      1. re: Karl S
                                                        linguafood RE: Karl S Nov 17, 2012 09:17 AM

                                                        "That's why I say keep dogma out of food and in religion where it can do less harm."

                                                        Yeah, the influence of the food police on politics over the bible thumpers' is shocking.

                                                        You're kidding, right?

                                                        1. re: linguafood
                                                          Karl S RE: linguafood Nov 17, 2012 09:20 AM

                                                          Nope. The food police are even more noxious in person. They actually spoil myriad daily social interactions. The religion police, less so by comparison. I venture more TG dinners will be spoiled by food nannies curdling people's social interactions than religion folks. You see, in good manners, people can always end a discussion about religion by reminding folks that religion, politics and sex discussions are unwelcome. However, in a feast about food, the food nannies feel emboldened rather than chastened. Dreadful.

                                                          1. re: Karl S
                                                            linguafood RE: Karl S Nov 17, 2012 09:32 AM

                                                            I guess I'm just *really, really* lucky with my circle of friends, then.

                                                            You're not talking about food police with regard to strictly adhering to recipe guidelines, right?

                                                            '-D

                                                            1. re: linguafood
                                                              Karl S RE: linguafood Nov 17, 2012 09:46 AM

                                                              Nope, about what is healthy/good versus what is unhealthy/evil. I've witnessed countless social interactions killed by this in ways I've NEVER seen religion discussions (partly because people who are not children feel more empowered in religion discussions so bullying can be stopped more readily; in areas of health/food, a lot of people lack confidence to stop health/food bullies in their tracks - worse still, many people actually internalize the bullying and then inflict it visibly upon themselves at the table with self-feedback ("oh, no, I really shouldn't; it's unhealthy/et cet.") that prompts the anti-social cycle).

                                                              Here's a good social rule of thumb: when dining, it is profoundly rude to comment (by word or noticeable reaction) on the health merits of food. It never occurred to the old etiquette manualists to include this in the old banned trinity of religion-politics-sex from polite conversation because they probably never thought people would be THAT clueless. But they are, Blanche.

                                                            2. re: Karl S
                                                              l
                                                              latindancer RE: Karl S Nov 17, 2012 02:12 PM

                                                              <However, in a feast about food, the food nannies feel emboldened rather than chastened>

                                                              I have a friend who invites 25 people to her home for holidays and refuses to serve sugar or carbs. The entire meal is sugarless and no carb. It all tastes like cardboard. Everyone leaves and goes out to dinner at a restaurant.

                                                          2. re: Karl S
                                                            Bill Hunt RE: Karl S Nov 17, 2012 07:48 PM

                                                            Good analogies. I try to steer clear of both parties.

                                                            Hunt

                                                          3. re: latindancer
                                                            Bill Hunt RE: latindancer Nov 17, 2012 07:45 PM

                                                            Sounds like what I have experienced in San Francisco (we are there, La Jolla, San Diego, Napa and Sonoma, but seldom in Los Angeles). I have had folk at near-by tables say things, such as "You know, that is not good for you." "That fish is not sustainable and is on several do not eat lists." "Do you know what the duck goes through, so you can eat that?" Some days, it never ends. I have even had "street people" approach me, when entering a restaurant, to warn me that they do not serve fish, approved by the UN!

                                                            I did not realize that LA would be the same, and assumed that it was a "Northern thing," but see that it is not.

                                                            Where I come from (the Deep South), and now live (the "wild" West), folk would never intrude on a diner, with such comments. The only time that there is any conversation about dishes, is the "Wow, that looks lovely. What dish is that?" I am always glad to share that info.

                                                            Hunt

                                                          4. re: Bill Hunt
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                                                            Isolda RE: Bill Hunt Nov 20, 2012 04:17 PM

                                                            Bill, we call those "crone attacks" in my family. Usually, it's women of a certain age, primarily on the west coast (Seattle, where my family lives, has them, too) who do this. As I am middle-aged myself, I am very careful to keep all of my comments to strangers friendly and uplifting. I do not want to be that crone!

                                                            1. re: Isolda
                                                              Bill Hunt RE: Isolda Nov 20, 2012 06:30 PM

                                                              Hm-m-m, sounds like some of the comments, aimed at me. I smile, and then ignore them, as they prattle on. Some folk feel compelled to change all choices of others, whether it is food choices, or other.

                                                              In all cities, where I have spent much time, I am confronted by "others," in San Francisco, more than any other city. Some people are inclined to try and convince anyone, who will listen, that they are doing bad things, and should "change their ways." I do not change easily, so I just smile...

                                                              Hunt

                                                              1. re: Bill Hunt
                                                                m
                                                                Missmoo RE: Bill Hunt Nov 15, 2013 01:33 PM

                                                                I will say that I think this mentality started at Whole Foods and spread to restaurants. I've been told that people give dirty looks if your cart has "unhealthy" things (the definition being different for different people). My husband and I did have a large man comment on how much sushi we were eating once. There's an amazing place in El Cerrito for sushi but we don't get there often so we always pig out. We just laughed it off.

                                                        2. Bacardi1 RE: GraceW Nov 16, 2012 06:51 PM

                                                          That's outrageous. And I agree that you were lucky that he just walked away & didn't end up following you around.

                                                          The only time I've ever spoken to someone in the market is if I've accidentally overheard them & can chime in that I've tried the product they're thinking about & how it's worked for me. Or if someone is looking for something, & I know where they can find it. But I'd never EVER say anything rude like that to anyone. Geesh.

                                                          1. Bill Hunt RE: GraceW Nov 16, 2012 08:18 PM

                                                            Some people feel obligated to change the world, but in their view of the world.

                                                            I would have ignored that person, and not thought about them.

                                                            Hunt

                                                            11 Replies
                                                            1. re: Bill Hunt
                                                              GraceW RE: Bill Hunt Nov 16, 2012 08:29 PM

                                                              I named a gingerbread-man cookie after the man... right before the cookie-man went for a swim in hot coffee.. then I ate him.

                                                              A literal rendition of: "Let the poison of your neighbor die within you."

                                                              1. re: GraceW
                                                                Bill Hunt RE: GraceW Nov 16, 2012 08:58 PM

                                                                Grace,

                                                                Think that I would have crumbled "him," and tossed "him" into the trash.

                                                                I am not a fan of "creepy people," whether it's in a supermarket, or elsewhere.

                                                                I talk to my wife about such people, and am glad that she is heavily armed. Too many "creeps" around.

                                                                Take care, and be safe,

                                                                Hunt

                                                                1. re: Bill Hunt
                                                                  l
                                                                  lcool RE: Bill Hunt Nov 20, 2012 08:18 AM

                                                                  Smart you and wife.
                                                                  Snoopy etc short of creep I prefer to ignore.Sometimes it just doesn't work.
                                                                  On election day a women my own age verbally accosted my in the check out line because I wasn't wearing the "I voted sticker".That fact I vote absentee Montana wasn't a good answer.It really set her off about what a scummy tax cheat etc I must be.The manager and security escorted her out,PROMPTLY.I get halfway to my car and here she is,trotting at me screaming with security on her tail.No problem,van,auto open door,MY GUN DOG,75# Chesapeake Bay Retriever,not a breed noted for warm and fuzzy and this one tolerates NO ONE,EVER yelling at MOM.As "off" as she was,she was on enough to choose uniform security over me and a bay dog.Bless the husband for my new old lady van with auto everything this past birthday.

                                                                  And an if I am so lucky in the future with wit
                                                                  We had my parents,still very active and healthy,but frail,born 1909 & 1910 with us 1997 to 2002 & 2003.In between work and heavy travel schedules there was THE trip to our large independently owned fancy supermarket once or twice a month with them.Both still very involved in food,ingredients,the cellar etc and as opinionated and particular as ever.Me,a cart filled with 24qts of heavy cream,12 bottles of devon cream,4-3# block of butter,ducks and liver etc on my way to collect parents in produce acquired a lurker.Just a glance told me,OH SHIT this lady is either the health or fur police.She got maybe three sentences into the evils of cream when my VERY FRENCH mother arrived,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,who brought her rant to a HALT with,this is ALL mine and "the refrigerator NEEDS these things,will perish horribly without them" and much more.Me 50+ actually felt more sorry for this 20 something fool than I did for my struggle to keep a straight face.When all of us were in the parking lot I laughed until I cried.

                                                                  1. re: lcool
                                                                    j
                                                                    jujuthomas RE: lcool Nov 20, 2012 08:26 AM

                                                                    those are great stories! sheesh - voting lady needs to get over herself. Our polling stations did not give out I voted stickers this year. Good thing she didn't see me! ;)

                                                                    the refrigerator NEEDS these things - awesome awesome line.

                                                                    1. re: lcool
                                                                      sunshine842 RE: lcool Nov 20, 2012 12:07 PM

                                                                      but my curiosity is getting the better of me -- what did you actually do with all of that?

                                                                      I'm betting it was delicious...and that there was a LOT of it!

                                                                      1. re: sunshine842
                                                                        l
                                                                        lcool RE: sunshine842 Nov 20, 2012 12:47 PM

                                                                        We were shopping for an annual bash,Bobby Burns birthday and the 28th anniversary for me and hubby.Me with a 110% Scottish father to go with the 110% French mother was then and now plenty smart enough to leave the menu,shopping etc alone.1998,the dad born 1909,still making puff pastry,ergo the imported butter blocks,the mom still making sauces,ICE CREAMS and pastry,ergo the barely pasteurized cream,LEAVING ME to take the heat for the cart while they were driving Henry the produce manager crazy and bickering about the merits of a curd featuring kiwi fruit. Yeah,nay,yeah,nah,sieve gauge?size?blanche time?what for acid?Yes kiwi makes an excellent curd,the acid settled on was 1/2 Meyer lemon 1/2 Champagne and so on.This was them,
                                                                        healthy,active,involved,sharp to the end and life was lived.OR ELSE
                                                                        Spouse and one of the owners were hanging out in the managers elevated place watching,listening and rolling on the floor laughing so hard the cashiers came to a halt.
                                                                        My mother was a pistol,as was her mother with the tongue.
                                                                        IT WAS ONE HELL OF A PARTY...........

                                                                        1. re: lcool
                                                                          sunshine842 RE: lcool Nov 20, 2012 02:27 PM

                                                                          Awesome...

                                                                          1. re: sunshine842
                                                                            l
                                                                            lcool RE: sunshine842 Nov 20, 2012 04:07 PM

                                                                            Thank You ,from all,certainly including the lurkers from above

                                                                          2. re: lcool
                                                                            a
                                                                            annomy RE: lcool Nov 19, 2013 09:30 AM

                                                                            This was too funny - truly LOL! Sounds like you were very lucky with your parents. But also your attitude - some people would just shrivel up with embarrassment in that situation.

                                                                    2. re: GraceW
                                                                      Crockett67 RE: GraceW Nov 17, 2012 07:47 AM

                                                                      How poetic!

                                                                      1. re: GraceW
                                                                        EM23 RE: GraceW Nov 17, 2012 10:21 AM

                                                                        "Cookie" met a just fate. Well played, Grace.

                                                                    3. e
                                                                      escondido123 RE: GraceW Nov 16, 2012 09:07 PM

                                                                      I love it when people make comments in the grocery store. You should have seen the back and forths at TJs yesterday over the pile of brussels sprouts still on the stalks--lovers, haters and all sorts of recipes flying. Very fun.

                                                                      5 Replies
                                                                      1. re: escondido123
                                                                        melpy RE: escondido123 Nov 17, 2012 03:34 AM

                                                                        Usually comments at the grocery are from the cashier and are insensitive a out what I am buying, generally about what they consider to be exotic vegetables. Makes me sad for the youth of the nation since inevitably it is the teenagers who have the gall to make comments like that.

                                                                        1. re: escondido123
                                                                          Bill Hunt RE: escondido123 Nov 17, 2012 07:53 PM

                                                                          Hey, my wife just bought a "stalk" in AZ today. Actually, I did not know exactly how the little dudes grew. Looked sort of like one of our yucca plants, when it finally "blooms." I learned something new!

                                                                          Hunt

                                                                          1. re: escondido123
                                                                            Bill Hunt RE: escondido123 Nov 17, 2012 07:57 PM

                                                                            Some years back, a nicely-dressed gentleman approached me in a Costco. I had just filled my basket with wines, ranging from a couple of 1er Cru Bdx., to a couple bottles of Penfolds Grange, down to some everyday Chards. He commented that he could see that I really enjoyed wines, and offered a suggestion. I held my breath, expecting the worst. He asked me to try a certain Bdx. Blend wine, but begged me to not look at the price. I first thought that he might be a distributor, but saw his cart, and he was just a shopper, like me. He pointed out one wine - but I looked at the price - $12.98. I hesitated. He caught my hesitation, and said, "I asked you to NOT look at the price." I asked about the wine, and he went into detail on it. Based on that, I bought 4 bottles. It was the Glen Carlou Grand Classique for SA. When I got home, I told my wife the story, and we opened a bottle with some grilled beef. It WAS good. So good, that the next day, I bought the two cases that that Costco had. I gifted several bottles, and everyone went to their Costco stores, and bought the wine, by the case. That recommendation, and chance conversation, were greatly appreciated. While not a 1er Cru Bdx (and not age-worthy, by my testing), it WAS a good wine, and a great "deal."

                                                                            Hunt

                                                                            1. re: Bill Hunt
                                                                              e
                                                                              escondido123 RE: Bill Hunt Nov 17, 2012 08:52 PM

                                                                              Bill, you make me chuckle. For me, the concern wouldn't be that the wine was too cheap, but rather too expensive. Ah, the different worlds we live in. Glad you were willing to take the "risk."

                                                                              1. re: escondido123
                                                                                Bill Hunt RE: escondido123 Nov 18, 2012 09:02 PM

                                                                                In my particular case, with that incident, my choices were way, way above what the gentleman was recommending. I hesitated, when I saw the price, but am glad that he kept me focused - very good wine, and at a very low price-point. Had he not recommended it, I would never have bought it. Shows that price is not all, that some (like me) crack it up to be.

                                                                                Hunt

                                                                          2. h
                                                                            Harters RE: GraceW Nov 17, 2012 03:30 AM

                                                                            Seems to me a completely trivial matter which, had it happened to me, I doubt whether I'd even mention it on returning home.

                                                                            9 Replies
                                                                            1. re: Harters
                                                                              Jay F RE: Harters Nov 17, 2012 04:56 AM

                                                                              +1

                                                                              1. re: Harters
                                                                                grampart RE: Harters Nov 17, 2012 05:15 AM

                                                                                The horror........the horror.

                                                                                1. re: Harters
                                                                                  Bacchus101 RE: Harters Nov 17, 2012 05:40 AM

                                                                                  +2

                                                                                  1. re: Bacchus101
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                                                                                    Leonardo RE: Bacchus101 Nov 17, 2012 02:06 PM

                                                                                    +6. Socially inept does not equal sociopath. He's not Jeffery Dahmer.
                                                                                    And 99% of what is called "harrassment" isn't. He committed no crime.

                                                                                    1. re: Leonardo
                                                                                      Karl S RE: Leonardo Nov 17, 2012 02:09 PM

                                                                                      Sociopath =/= psychopath.

                                                                                  2. re: Harters
                                                                                    sal_acid RE: Harters Nov 17, 2012 06:23 AM

                                                                                    +3

                                                                                    1. re: Harters
                                                                                      e
                                                                                      escondido123 RE: Harters Nov 17, 2012 08:22 AM

                                                                                      +4

                                                                                      Strange, creepy, jerk, sociopathic, harrassment seem like much too strong reactions--I think the guy was just making a comment that I wouldn't have remembered by the time I got home.

                                                                                      1. re: escondido123
                                                                                        l
                                                                                        latindancer RE: escondido123 Nov 17, 2012 09:23 AM

                                                                                        +5.

                                                                                        Perhaps a chuckle, but that's about it.

                                                                                        1. re: escondido123
                                                                                          Bill Hunt RE: escondido123 Nov 17, 2012 08:00 PM

                                                                                          Except for when he popped up from the back seat, as you turned out of the parking lot...

                                                                                          Hunt

                                                                                      2. Kat RE: GraceW Nov 17, 2012 06:10 AM

                                                                                        Once a guy in the grocery store told me not to buy the baby carrots I had in my hand because they are dipped in lye. I smiled politely at him and started to walk away with the carrots and then he started to berate me for buying them and I took off with my carriage.

                                                                                        8 Replies
                                                                                        1. re: Kat
                                                                                          Jay F RE: Kat Nov 17, 2012 06:17 AM

                                                                                          >>Once a guy in the grocery store told me not to buy the baby carrots I had in my hand because they are dipped in lye.<<

                                                                                          I thought they only used chlorine.

                                                                                          1. re: Jay F
                                                                                            Bill Hunt RE: Jay F Nov 17, 2012 08:01 PM

                                                                                            I expected this to be a "carrot genocide" reply. You surprised me.

                                                                                            Hunt

                                                                                            1. re: Bill Hunt
                                                                                              Jay F RE: Bill Hunt Nov 18, 2012 04:37 AM

                                                                                              ???

                                                                                              1. re: Jay F
                                                                                                grampart RE: Jay F Nov 18, 2012 05:37 AM

                                                                                                The Carrot Genocide

                                                                                                "It was cold and the pinpricks of rain falling upon our faces were reminders of reality. We trudged through the mud, as the rain fell harder. Thunder sounded, lightening flashed. We walked over to where Bailey lays, face down on the ground..."

                                                                                                The carrots had already gotten to him.

                                                                                                Bailey was my brother, and a farmer as well. It was the year 2028, and the carrots had begun a war with the humans. They were a mutation through genetic engineering, and were never meant to breathe life and walk... or kill.

                                                                                                They started with the rabbits first, their animal screams and cries kept me up through the night. The sound of dying hares forever echo within my head. No one knew what was killing them all at the time. After all of the rabbits were eliminated from the area, they moved on to humans. The carrots realized they had been food, produce for humans for years. Now it was payback.

                                                                                                The first person they got was just a little girl, sent out to the garden by her mother to fetch some carrots for a cake. All of the childhood images I ever had of carrots was gone, the smiling rabbits with a carrot in their mouth around Easter time, the thoughts of springtime and sunshine in the gardens. It all became a horrific nightmare of bloody murder.

                                                                                                Now I stand here with my sister at the body of my dead brother in the garden. Her red hair blended into my rainstruck brunette as she leaned against me in tears. The water blackened everything a shade, but the mood made my eyes dark with calm fury.

                                                                                                "What are we going to do, Bex?" she asked me.

                                                                                                "The only thing left we can..." I loaded my shotgun and handed her a weed-eater.

                                                                                                "Never give a vegetable a brain."

                                                                                                1. re: grampart
                                                                                                  sunshine842 RE: grampart Nov 18, 2012 05:51 AM

                                                                                                  even more ????

                                                                                                  1. re: grampart
                                                                                                    m
                                                                                                    MrsBridges RE: grampart Nov 18, 2012 09:29 AM

                                                                                                    I'm guessing this is NOT from the Great Vegetable Rebellion episode of Lost in Space? Moisture! Moisture!

                                                                                                    1. re: grampart
                                                                                                      Bill Hunt RE: grampart Nov 18, 2012 09:03 PM

                                                                                                      That deserves a major award!

                                                                                                      Just fabulous, and well-written.

                                                                                                      Hunt

                                                                                                    2. re: Jay F
                                                                                                      Bill Hunt RE: Jay F Nov 18, 2012 09:08 PM

                                                                                                      >>Once a guy in the grocery store told me not to buy the baby carrots I had in my hand because they are dipped in lye.<<

                                                                                                      "Baby carrots." What part of that, do you not get? "Carrot genocide." Not THAT abstract an issue, at least not to me. Maybe it is just MY sense of humour?

                                                                                                      I envy you, your creativity, and writing skills. Better than most of the papers that I grade.

                                                                                                      Hunt

                                                                                              2. sal_acid RE: GraceW Nov 17, 2012 06:27 AM

                                                                                                What annoys me is when I ask the meat guy if he has a certain cut and he answers by saying "what ate you going to use it in?"

                                                                                                I'm not looking for a consult from a meat packer. Damnit. Do you have it or not?

                                                                                                1. jmcarthur8 RE: GraceW Nov 17, 2012 06:42 AM

                                                                                                  Grace, I know a lady who does that. I think it's just the empty nest syndrome in her. She really thinks everyone appreciates her advice, and that she's doing a public service.
                                                                                                  There are plenty of food police out there who aren't crazy, they're just obsessive about everyone else's eating habits.

                                                                                                  1. Crockett67 RE: GraceW Nov 17, 2012 08:02 AM

                                                                                                    Mild street harassment. A man who felt entitled to tell you (a women) what you need to do to keep favorable in his eyes.

                                                                                                    I file this under the "smile, you look better when you do" or like the one time I stock up on a few bottles of wine had two men keep following me saying they wanted to come home with me and asking where the party was. They were not frat boys either. It got so bad to the point where I set the basket down and left the store. I had only three #@$! bottles of wine in my basket dang it!!

                                                                                                    Look I know that most guys are not going to understand but I deal with it all the time. I was on the plane and about to eat a fig newton, man next to me said "You know you shouldn't eat that if you want to stay that way" I'm 5'7" and size 4! I was too stun to say anything.

                                                                                                    This is how you can tell when it's sexist. Would that man ever tell another man that?

                                                                                                    I was glad to hear you were strong enough to brush his comment off and do what you planned to.

                                                                                                    5 Replies
                                                                                                    1. re: Crockett67
                                                                                                      k
                                                                                                      khuzdul RE: Crockett67 Nov 17, 2012 08:14 AM

                                                                                                      Actually I would assert that most guys do understand and are appalled, but they are not the ones that matter to resolve this particular issue. Sadly the fellows whom you do need to make understand probably will never understand. If they do, they leave the asshole population at a rate slow enough that new additions more than makeup for the loss.

                                                                                                      1. re: khuzdul
                                                                                                        Crockett67 RE: khuzdul Nov 17, 2012 08:30 AM

                                                                                                        I totally agree with you. 95% of the men I interact with no worries. In fact, down right gentlemen. It's the other 5% that I don't care for. The only problem is, you don't know which guy is which until they reveal themselves. *sigh*

                                                                                                      2. re: Crockett67
                                                                                                        Bill Hunt RE: Crockett67 Nov 17, 2012 08:07 PM

                                                                                                        Well, not over a Fig Newton, but I have had men tell me to not eat what I ordered, in a restaurant. I always just give them "the look," and have only once had to resort to "the voice of God," to get them to focus on THEIR meal, and not mine. That was in California, to help a previous poster understand. Elsewhere, around the globe, I have never had any other diner comment on my food, other than to comment on how great it looked, and possibly ask what dish I had ordered.

                                                                                                        Some folk feel inclined to press their tastes, or social responsibilities on others. They should never do that.

                                                                                                        Hunt

                                                                                                        1. re: Bill Hunt
                                                                                                          Crockett67 RE: Bill Hunt Jan 9, 2013 07:32 PM

                                                                                                          *Hug* you are a very special man. :)

                                                                                                          1. re: Bill Hunt
                                                                                                            KaimukiMan RE: Bill Hunt Nov 15, 2013 01:48 PM

                                                                                                            <<< makes mental note for next meal with hunt. no fig newtons. btw, what wine would you pair with that?

                                                                                                        2. sunshine842 RE: GraceW Nov 17, 2012 08:38 AM

                                                                                                          Once, when receiving unsolicited advice about child-rearing in the supermarket (my kiddo was sitting quietly in the seat in the cart, telling me in inside voice about a trip they'd made at day-care that day -- not screaming or even talking loudly) -- I tried ignoring, and she followed me down the aisle. I finally just stopped, turned, held out my hand in introduction, and said "I'm sorry -- you're Dr......?" "Oh, I'm not a doctor." "Oh, really? Because I was sure if you are so well-versed in child nutrition that you need to give unsolicited advice to complete strangers, you MUST be a pediatric specialist of some sort!" She looked like she'd been slapped, but turned and went back to her card"

                                                                                                          With a far-too-nosy checkout clerk who was commenting on every other item I bought -- just a comment that I was here to buy my groceries, and she is here to ring them up and accept my payment. No additional services necessary.

                                                                                                          But the guy with the cookies in the OP and the carrots-in-lye guy? Those are just weird, and I think I'd just ignore both of them. Weird in the "this person obviously doesn't think like most people, so I cannot assume that his continued behavior will be anything resembling normal, so it's probably best to remove myself from this uncomfortable situation."

                                                                                                          4 Replies
                                                                                                          1. re: sunshine842
                                                                                                            Lillipop RE: sunshine842 Nov 17, 2012 09:05 AM

                                                                                                            People always talk to me in the grocery store. But some random male coming up to specifically tell you that you will gain weight if you eat cookies does seem rather like a scene from a Woody Allen flick. Like maybe the guy wanted to flirt but was so anxious and socially inept he started spewing forth nonsense:) We always joke about "drive-bys". It is when people do socially outrageous things in public that leaves other people's jaws dropping and turning red or running as fast as they can.

                                                                                                            1. re: Lillipop
                                                                                                              Bill Hunt RE: Lillipop Nov 17, 2012 08:10 PM

                                                                                                              I was thinking more about a Larry David scene, than Woody Allen, but can see your point. Sort of the same weird situation, and not a good one, at that.

                                                                                                              Hunt

                                                                                                              1. re: Bill Hunt
                                                                                                                GraceW RE: Bill Hunt Nov 17, 2012 08:23 PM

                                                                                                                My goodness--had it been Larry David, then I maybe would have understood the situation because Larry is always absurd!

                                                                                                                1. re: GraceW
                                                                                                                  Bill Hunt RE: GraceW Nov 17, 2012 08:34 PM

                                                                                                                  GraceW,

                                                                                                                  As was your unfortunate interaction.

                                                                                                                  Hunt

                                                                                                          2. r
                                                                                                            redfish62 RE: GraceW Nov 17, 2012 09:40 AM

                                                                                                            I would assume he's mentally ill, smile and nod my head.

                                                                                                            33 Replies
                                                                                                            1. re: redfish62
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                                                                                                              Leonardo RE: redfish62 Nov 17, 2012 10:15 AM

                                                                                                              TBI, Traumatic Brain Injury, could be an explanation. The filter is off.
                                                                                                              I'm not appreciating the feminist man-bashing going on here. Were it a woman, I doubt there'd be any woman-bashing, or if it were, it would be deleted.

                                                                                                              1. re: Leonardo
                                                                                                                sunshine842 RE: Leonardo Nov 17, 2012 10:30 AM

                                                                                                                Please let me be completely clear -- if Cookie Man or Carrot Man were women, I'd still remove myself from the situation -- it's far enough out of the confines of what is defined as "normal behaviour" that it's unsettling and unpredictable.

                                                                                                                My heart hurts for those dealing with the autism/Asperger's spectrum, cranial injuries and mental illness -- but if someone is functioning at a level high enough to mean that they go out into public unaccompanied, then they should be functioning at a level high enough to understand that insulting or frightening behavior doesn't have to be tolerated by others, either.

                                                                                                                1. re: sunshine842
                                                                                                                  l
                                                                                                                  latindancer RE: sunshine842 Nov 17, 2012 02:16 PM

                                                                                                                  I completely agree.

                                                                                                                  1. re: sunshine842
                                                                                                                    e
                                                                                                                    escondido123 RE: sunshine842 Nov 17, 2012 08:56 PM

                                                                                                                    Truly, far outside the confines of normal behavior? Boy, you must live in a very sheltered environment if that gets you insulted or frightened. Guess I just live in an entirely different world where off hand comments are no big deal.

                                                                                                                    1. re: escondido123
                                                                                                                      sunshine842 RE: escondido123 Nov 17, 2012 11:22 PM

                                                                                                                      Boy, you must be lucky enough to have never been stalked through an entire mall by someone offering an offhand comment.

                                                                                                                      I didn't say anything about being frightened -- I said I would choose to remove myself from the situation -- thus removing any potential for being frightened or insulted...or threatened.

                                                                                                                      it only takes ones to change your perspective.

                                                                                                                      1. re: sunshine842
                                                                                                                        e
                                                                                                                        escondido123 RE: sunshine842 Nov 18, 2012 10:18 AM

                                                                                                                        If someone is bothering me for any length of time, I would go to store/mall security and ask for assistance.

                                                                                                                        1. re: escondido123
                                                                                                                          sunshine842 RE: escondido123 Nov 18, 2012 10:46 AM

                                                                                                                          I have had to do so.

                                                                                                                          1. re: escondido123
                                                                                                                            pamf RE: escondido123 Nov 18, 2012 10:56 AM

                                                                                                                            Exactly, escondido123. It's in the stores best interest to look out for their customers. They have security and will remove someone if they are harassing other customers.

                                                                                                                            1. re: pamf
                                                                                                                              sunshine842 RE: pamf Nov 18, 2012 11:02 AM

                                                                                                                              but it is in my own best interest to remove myself from a situation that doesn't feel "right" -- hopefully before security has to be called.

                                                                                                                              And you'll pardon me if I really don't want to put my personal safety in the hands of the average mall security guard, although I didn't hesitate to have store personnel call mall security when it became apparent that this guy was dangerous.

                                                                                                                              1. re: sunshine842
                                                                                                                                pamf RE: sunshine842 Nov 18, 2012 11:13 AM

                                                                                                                                OK, cool, you did call security. Exactly what I meant, if there is more than a passing concern, then ask for help.

                                                                                                                                I would rather have an "average mall security guard" walk me to my car, than go unaccompanied, if I felt someone was dangerous or threatening me.

                                                                                                                                1. re: pamf
                                                                                                                                  sunshine842 RE: pamf Nov 18, 2012 11:47 AM

                                                                                                                                  which was exactly what happened.

                                                                                                                                  Happily, I wasn't hurt -- but it's as close a call as I ever want to have.

                                                                                                                          2. re: sunshine842
                                                                                                                            l
                                                                                                                            latindancer RE: sunshine842 Nov 18, 2012 12:11 PM

                                                                                                                            <it only takes once to change your perspective.>

                                                                                                                            So true and in many cases that innate intuition we're born with comes in handy. Nobody is suggesting that every person who comes along, and says something off color, is potentially dangerous. I think, in your situation, where you were actually stalked, *flight* is certainly warranted. And quickly.

                                                                                                                        2. re: sunshine842
                                                                                                                          Bill Hunt RE: sunshine842 Nov 18, 2012 09:11 PM

                                                                                                                          Sunshine, when I am "on the move," I often introduce myself as "The Cookie Man," or the "Carrot man," but it depends on the setting...

                                                                                                                          Nah, I get what you are talking about. I really only introduce myself, to the unsuspecting, as "The Montrachet Man... "

                                                                                                                          Hunt

                                                                                                                        3. re: Leonardo
                                                                                                                          Bill Hunt RE: Leonardo Nov 17, 2012 08:09 PM

                                                                                                                          Not sure about the "lady-bashing," but I would assume that some folk would view a lady, as being more vulnerable.

                                                                                                                          Still, as a guy, I have encountered the same, but only in CA restaurants (or on the street at their door), and never in a grocery store.

                                                                                                                          Hunt

                                                                                                                          1. re: Leonardo
                                                                                                                            f
                                                                                                                            foiegras RE: Leonardo Nov 20, 2012 06:03 PM

                                                                                                                            Feminist man-bashing, are you effing kidding me?!

                                                                                                                            Men attempting to control women by commenting unfavorably on their weight or what they're eating is a norm among some sorts. I have had this happen to me at work--I believe I was a size 6 at the time. My coworker informed me I should lose weight. And I am not the kind of woman who invites unsolicited advice, so I'm sure others have experienced this more than I have. Actually, it last happened to me on Sunday. I went to a open air food fair with a group, and the man who put it together looked at my bag of leftovers and said to me, "That's a lot of food--what did you get?" (It was not a lot of food--it was a lot of oversize containers.) And then last week, a male coworker commented on what I was considering ordering at a restaurant, that it might be too much food. This is beyond common ... too bad you can't walk in my stilettos for a week, you'd know just what we're talking about.

                                                                                                                            Grace, a line for you from my mother (who lifted it from a book) ... "When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you."

                                                                                                                            1. re: foiegras
                                                                                                                              Bill Hunt RE: foiegras Nov 20, 2012 06:46 PM

                                                                                                                              Just a guess, on my part, but any man, commenting on a lady's weight, cannot be married. Enough said. That is like a death-sentence. Some topics are just NOT allowed. To do so, exhibits several things: the commentator has no class, no social skills, and is NOT married. A sentence tells a lot about a person.

                                                                                                                              Hunt

                                                                                                                              1. re: Bill Hunt
                                                                                                                                f
                                                                                                                                foiegras RE: Bill Hunt Nov 20, 2012 07:13 PM

                                                                                                                                Of the three, only one is married ;) I strongly suspected that he was on automatic pilot with me, that his wife is the usual recipient of his anxiety about ordering too much food. (I wonder if he is aware of to-go boxes ...) The one who told me I needed to lose weight, definitely was not.

                                                                                                                                I generally cook my meals and I tend to cook healthy food ... when I eat out 1-3 times a week, I get to order what I want, it being a free country and all.

                                                                                                                                But I did seem to notice a neon sign lighting up on all three foreheads ... "Whatever you do, don't pick me!!!"

                                                                                                                                1. re: foiegras
                                                                                                                                  Bill Hunt RE: foiegras Nov 21, 2012 07:59 PM

                                                                                                                                  <<I get to order what I want, it being a free country and all.>>

                                                                                                                                  Sounds like a grand plan - and I support you.

                                                                                                                                  Hunt

                                                                                                                                2. re: Bill Hunt
                                                                                                                                  KaimukiMan RE: Bill Hunt Dec 4, 2012 10:52 AM

                                                                                                                                  any man who comments on a woman's weight not only must be single as Hunt noted, but must have been hatched as he obviously had no mother either.

                                                                                                                                3. re: foiegras
                                                                                                                                  c
                                                                                                                                  Custardly RE: foiegras Jan 9, 2013 01:07 AM

                                                                                                                                  Not to offend, but aside from the one saying you should lose weight, maybe your perspective of the reason for their comments was slanted, perhaps projecting your insecurities at them.
                                                                                                                                  The guy looking at your bags then saying "that's a lot of food", did he mention your weight? Maybe he just thought it was a lot of food, and had no other meaning behind it.
                                                                                                                                  The guy saying your order "might be too much food", sounds like he was thinking you wouldn't be able to all of it.
                                                                                                                                  Though I don't know the full context, it doesn't sound like either was being critical of your weight.

                                                                                                                                  1. re: foiegras
                                                                                                                                    c
                                                                                                                                    Custardly RE: foiegras Jan 9, 2013 01:41 AM

                                                                                                                                    Oh, and as for "men trying to control women", when I use to ride a motorcycle I was constantly harped on by female coworkers to wear a helmet. At stoplights, women would lower their window to lecture me about not wearing a helmet. The times I wore a helmet and carried it into a store with me, they would approach to say how dangerous motorcycles are and that I shouldn't ride one. Then there was always the stories about a person they knew who was severely injured or died. Thanks, just what I wanted to hear.

                                                                                                                                    If I cared to think it over, I could come up with many other scenarios for unsolicited comments from women.

                                                                                                                                    So foiegras, and other woman upset about unsolicited comments from men, have you mothered a coworker/stranger lately?

                                                                                                                                    1. re: Custardly
                                                                                                                                      f
                                                                                                                                      foiegras RE: Custardly Jan 9, 2013 03:45 PM

                                                                                                                                      I did work with a woman who allowed her ex, permanently disabled in a motorcycle accident, to move back in with her, and now she cares for him.

                                                                                                                                      Hopefully you won't project any insecurities onto this neutral piece of information.

                                                                                                                                      1. re: foiegras
                                                                                                                                        c
                                                                                                                                        Custardly RE: foiegras Jan 9, 2013 06:55 PM

                                                                                                                                        Wow, how awesome of her!

                                                                                                                                        Haha, no projections here. I apologize for any offense, it truly wasn't my intention.

                                                                                                                                    2. re: foiegras
                                                                                                                                      c
                                                                                                                                      Custardly RE: foiegras Jan 9, 2013 02:04 AM

                                                                                                                                      Haha!

                                                                                                                                  2. re: redfish62
                                                                                                                                    r
                                                                                                                                    redfish62 RE: redfish62 Nov 17, 2012 11:25 AM

                                                                                                                                    What makes me certain this guy is "different" is he used the word "weight" in a conversation with a woman, there are certain words you just can't use. Do not ever refer to size, I don't care if she weighs 95 pounds. Gaining weight, losing weight, anything even remotely related to weight, stay far far away from it.

                                                                                                                                    1. re: redfish62
                                                                                                                                      grampart RE: redfish62 Nov 17, 2012 11:54 AM

                                                                                                                                      These sensitive women, leave the house much do they?

                                                                                                                                      1. re: grampart
                                                                                                                                        foodieX2 RE: grampart Nov 17, 2012 12:14 PM

                                                                                                                                        you owe me a new keyboard! LMAO!

                                                                                                                                        1. re: grampart
                                                                                                                                          goodhealthgourmet RE: grampart Nov 17, 2012 07:56 PM

                                                                                                                                          ha! that was awesome :)

                                                                                                                                        2. re: redfish62
                                                                                                                                          Karl S RE: redfish62 Nov 17, 2012 12:34 PM

                                                                                                                                          Not just women, but anyone. Do.Not.Go.There.Ever.

                                                                                                                                          1. re: redfish62
                                                                                                                                            Bill Hunt RE: redfish62 Nov 17, 2012 08:15 PM

                                                                                                                                            No! After 42+ years of marriage, I have learned that there ARE words, not to be used:

                                                                                                                                            Weight
                                                                                                                                            Dress size
                                                                                                                                            Number of pairs of shoes
                                                                                                                                            Number of ball gowns
                                                                                                                                            Number of purses

                                                                                                                                            And there are probably a few more, that are not coming to my mind right now. Guys - never use those terms!

                                                                                                                                            Hunt

                                                                                                                                            1. re: Bill Hunt
                                                                                                                                              KaimukiMan RE: Bill Hunt Nov 19, 2012 01:01 AM

                                                                                                                                              well put. jeff foxworthy did a little video on this

                                                                                                                                              http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJytm3...

                                                                                                                                              1. re: KaimukiMan
                                                                                                                                                Bill Hunt RE: KaimukiMan Nov 20, 2012 06:51 PM

                                                                                                                                                Though from the Deep South, I have not caught much Jeff Foxworthy. Thank you for linking that video. I almost completely agree with him, and almost on everything. Luckily, with about # 4, my wife is FAR and away, the best cook, do it's a no-brainer, at least for me.

                                                                                                                                                Now, similar could be said for people, who wish to coerce others into ordering dishes, that they deem appropriate. As Mr. Foxworthy might say - "Don't do it. Others do not care what YOU think, and might be heavily armed... "

                                                                                                                                                Hunt

                                                                                                                                            2. re: redfish62
                                                                                                                                              c
                                                                                                                                              Custardly RE: redfish62 Jan 9, 2013 01:19 AM

                                                                                                                                              This guy was definitely out of line, but the sad thing about the "w" word is that many woman fail to treat men with the same consideration they expect from us regardless of the words/subject being spoken of.

                                                                                                                                          2. w
                                                                                                                                            why_itsme RE: GraceW Nov 17, 2012 03:00 PM

                                                                                                                                            Reading all these comments just reinforces my choice to have my groceries delivered. Avoids all these issues.

                                                                                                                                            1 Reply
                                                                                                                                            1. re: why_itsme
                                                                                                                                              Bill Hunt RE: why_itsme Nov 17, 2012 08:17 PM

                                                                                                                                              That sounds good - until the delivery person tells you that the Beryer's Toasted Pecan will make you fat... No tip!

                                                                                                                                              Hunt

                                                                                                                                            2. j
                                                                                                                                              jujuthomas RE: GraceW Nov 17, 2012 05:56 PM

                                                                                                                                              <snort> I did almost the opposite the other night... a really yummy looking package of cookies was placed first on the checkout by the person in line behind me. I commented on how delicious they looked... then commented that cookies like that are the reason I don't usually visit the cookie aisle. The cashier and I offered to taste test them before he took them home, to make sure they were safe for his consumption. The three of us had a good laugh. :)

                                                                                                                                              7 Replies
                                                                                                                                              1. re: jujuthomas
                                                                                                                                                goodhealthgourmet RE: jujuthomas Nov 17, 2012 08:07 PM

                                                                                                                                                see, that's normal - and acceptable - to me. i only comment on someone else's items if they're buying something i really like, or if i've been wanting to try one of the things they're purchasing and i ask them about it.

                                                                                                                                                cashiers and the customers next to me in line can never seem to keep their opinions to themselves about how "healthy" my purchases are, and it's just as irritating as it would be if i was buying all junk food and they told me how bad it was for me. just shut up and mind your own business.

                                                                                                                                                1. re: goodhealthgourmet
                                                                                                                                                  Bill Hunt RE: goodhealthgourmet Nov 17, 2012 08:37 PM

                                                                                                                                                  At a Costco checkout, I pointed to a baby in the cart's seat, and commented, "was he on sale?" Hope that everyone got the joke. At least the mother did not put the child on the belt for checkout...

                                                                                                                                                  Hunt

                                                                                                                                                  1. re: Bill Hunt
                                                                                                                                                    e
                                                                                                                                                    escondido123 RE: Bill Hunt Nov 17, 2012 08:57 PM

                                                                                                                                                    Boy, Bill I think some in this crowd would have tackled you to the ground and called the pedophile squad.

                                                                                                                                                    1. re: escondido123
                                                                                                                                                      Bill Hunt RE: escondido123 Nov 18, 2012 09:14 PM

                                                                                                                                                      In some areas, to the West of me, I am sure that no one would have gotten the joke, and would have over reacted. At least I was in AZ, and not to the West.

                                                                                                                                                      Hunt

                                                                                                                                                  2. re: goodhealthgourmet
                                                                                                                                                    j
                                                                                                                                                    jujuthomas RE: goodhealthgourmet Nov 18, 2012 07:52 AM

                                                                                                                                                    yeah, commenting about how healthy - or not - the contents of your cart or your plate is unnecessary.

                                                                                                                                                    we had some oaf recently in a sushi restaurant who was A.mazed at the amount of sushi we ordered.... a total of 5 rolls, but the put it on 1 giant plate. he made his party stay in the restaurant until we were done to see us finish it all. Even came to our table and told us how amazing it was. 5 rolls, 2 people, 2.5 rolls each.. dude, really?

                                                                                                                                                    1. re: jujuthomas
                                                                                                                                                      sunshine842 RE: jujuthomas Nov 18, 2012 09:10 AM

                                                                                                                                                      but had he been at Olive Garden or Cracker Barrel, he wouldn't have flinched to see more food than that on each individual plate...that's weird.

                                                                                                                                                      1. re: sunshine842
                                                                                                                                                        Bill Hunt RE: sunshine842 Nov 18, 2012 09:14 PM

                                                                                                                                                        Yes, there are many spots in the Deep South, where that sushi dinner would have been considered but one early course, of 8. If one does not take home at least 8 lbs. of food, the portions are considered too small, and the reviews are very negative.

                                                                                                                                                        Hunt

                                                                                                                                                2. f
                                                                                                                                                  fishyman45 RE: GraceW Nov 17, 2012 08:41 PM

                                                                                                                                                  One time at the market an elderly gentleman instructed me to become a vegan, and grabbed the bacon from my cart and put it back in the case. He told me that eating meat was unkind to animals. I just said thanks for the advice, and decided to purchase the bacon anyway. I respect that some people feel that way, but it's not his place to make those decisions for me.

                                                                                                                                                  4 Replies
                                                                                                                                                  1. re: fishyman45
                                                                                                                                                    sunshine842 RE: fishyman45 Nov 17, 2012 11:27 PM

                                                                                                                                                    as much as I try to avoid confrontation, when it's that blatant and that confrontational, I'm afraid I've had ripped it out of his hand, plunked it back in my cart, and asked who the hell appointed him my grocery fairy.

                                                                                                                                                    1. re: sunshine842
                                                                                                                                                      b
                                                                                                                                                      Bkeats RE: sunshine842 Nov 18, 2012 10:35 AM

                                                                                                                                                      You are a lot nicer than me. I would have grabbed it back and said what the eff are you doing?

                                                                                                                                                      1. re: sunshine842
                                                                                                                                                        Bill Hunt RE: sunshine842 Nov 18, 2012 09:25 PM

                                                                                                                                                        I agree completely. What I want, is what I want - no equivocation. What someone else wants, is up to them. I do not care, and do not wish to hear anyone critique any choices that I make, until it gets to the US Supreme Court.

                                                                                                                                                        Stay clear, and you will likely not be hurt, at least too badly. Get in my face, and you take your chances - "feeling lucky punk?"

                                                                                                                                                        Hunt

                                                                                                                                                      2. re: fishyman45
                                                                                                                                                        Bill Hunt RE: fishyman45 Nov 18, 2012 09:20 PM

                                                                                                                                                        Sounds like an "elderly gentleman" needed a big slap on the hand.

                                                                                                                                                        Even at MY advanced age, I would NEVER try to impose MY tastes, and food choices, on anyone. I mean, would I ever place a platter of foie gras into a stranger's cart? No way.

                                                                                                                                                        Some folk feel that age gives them extra power, over others' lives, or choices. I would never do that.

                                                                                                                                                        What I enjoy, is what I enjoy. What you enjoy, is what you enjoy, and the two are likely to never meet.

                                                                                                                                                        While I have gained some wisdom, in all of my years, they do NOT impact you, and never should they. All "older gentlemen" are not the same.

                                                                                                                                                        Hunt

                                                                                                                                                      3. l
                                                                                                                                                        LeoLioness RE: GraceW Nov 18, 2012 12:04 PM

                                                                                                                                                        I'm pretty sure I would have told him to fuck off. As an occasional smoker who has heard all sorts of random, unsolicited comments from strangers about it, that has become my stock reply. Rude begets rude.

                                                                                                                                                        1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                        1. re: LeoLioness
                                                                                                                                                          Bill Hunt RE: LeoLioness Nov 18, 2012 09:26 PM

                                                                                                                                                          I agree about personal choices. While I never smoke my cigars in closed, public places, and even seek out an outdoor spot, I do not appreciate others imposing their choices on me.

                                                                                                                                                          I do not look for any confrontation, and seek private places, but do not appreciate anyone telling me, how to live MY life.

                                                                                                                                                          So long as it IS private, and away from others, they tread on very, very thin ice. They are usually only warned once, and then things go bad, very quickly.

                                                                                                                                                          Hunt

                                                                                                                                                        2. KaimukiMan RE: GraceW Nov 19, 2012 01:07 AM

                                                                                                                                                          not sure of the nuances of his comment or other behavior, but its the kind of thing my Grandfather would have done. He had an opinion on most everything and rarely denied himself the enjoyment of sharing it. Grandma was only a little more subtle, often telling women (that she had never met before, didn't know, and would never see again) that they should get their hair bobbed as it wasn't attractive hanging in fingers.

                                                                                                                                                          Appropriate? Nope. Were my Grandparents in some way deranged? No more than most of us.

                                                                                                                                                          2 Replies
                                                                                                                                                          1. re: KaimukiMan
                                                                                                                                                            Lillipop RE: KaimukiMan Nov 19, 2012 02:18 AM

                                                                                                                                                            I love little old people in the store. I also taught both of my adult children ( male & female) to show kindness and respect for them. To this day my 28 year old son will practically knock people out of his way to get the door for an older person....or chat them up in the grocery store or reach that item off of the top shelf. So sweet:)

                                                                                                                                                            1. re: KaimukiMan
                                                                                                                                                              Bill Hunt RE: KaimukiMan Nov 20, 2012 06:55 PM

                                                                                                                                                              K'Man,

                                                                                                                                                              Sounds like my maternal grandmother (second marriage, so probably my "step grandmother."), when, on her deathbed, she told me that my beard did not suit my face. Moments later, she died, and had that thought on her mind. Now, and 40 years later, I still have that beard, but do not have that grandmother.

                                                                                                                                                              Hunt

                                                                                                                                                            2. Kajikit RE: GraceW Nov 19, 2012 06:23 AM

                                                                                                                                                              Answer (especially since you're apparently far from having a weight problem) - 'you say that like it's a bad thing'...

                                                                                                                                                              1. free sample addict aka Tracy L RE: GraceW Nov 20, 2012 12:31 AM

                                                                                                                                                                I have always looked younger than my years and have had my fair share of people everywhere giving me unsolicited advice. I had a similar incident in TJ's over Joes Ohs. I was in a kitchen store looking for some cookie cutter when a lady came out of nowhere and suggested poultry shears are an excellent gift for mom. It was to early for Christmas and a few months past mother's day so I was speechless. My ex husband who witnessed the interchange apologetically and gently told the lady they don't allow sharp objects where my mother is at. In the retelling of the story my friends thought he was mean, but I was relieved she didn't bother me any further.

                                                                                                                                                                2 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                1. re: free sample addict aka Tracy L
                                                                                                                                                                  sunshine842 RE: free sample addict aka Tracy L Nov 20, 2012 04:29 AM

                                                                                                                                                                  LOL -- I think that's hilarious!

                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: free sample addict aka Tracy L
                                                                                                                                                                    a
                                                                                                                                                                    annomy RE: free sample addict aka Tracy L Nov 19, 2013 09:46 AM

                                                                                                                                                                    What's the problem with Joe's Os? We love them, and they're half the price of Cheerios.

                                                                                                                                                                  2. Disneyfreak RE: GraceW Nov 20, 2012 08:37 AM

                                                                                                                                                                    I had someone comment recently about something I was buying -- yogurt the fat free flavored kind. I was at the check out and had just put it on the belt. The woman behind me saw my yogurt choice - I think it was Yoplait -- and then she asked me what it was sweetened with. She proceeded to ask me about the ingredients and then told me that it wasn't healthy (this compared to the kind she was buying.) My teenage daughter was shocked that someone would comment on someone else's purchase. I told her I was buying it because it was on sale. Then I turned away.

                                                                                                                                                                    6 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: Disneyfreak
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                                                                                                                                                                      Isolda RE: Disneyfreak Nov 20, 2012 04:13 PM

                                                                                                                                                                      This sounds like something that happens all too frequently in a Whole Foods, but WF doesn't sell Yoplait. They do, however, sell sugary-as-hell cereals in politically correct biodegradable bags (and I'm sure each sugar cane is lovingly nurtured from birth and even baptized and named) so I haven't quite figured out where they draw the line. Gelatine in yogurt, maybe? Who knows? I'll keep eating my knock-off Lucky Charms and you enjoy that evil yogurt.

                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: Isolda
                                                                                                                                                                        Disneyfreak RE: Isolda Nov 26, 2012 11:39 AM

                                                                                                                                                                        Put some Lucky Charms in the yogurt and you have a complete meal. Completely evil that is.

                                                                                                                                                                      2. re: Disneyfreak
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                                                                                                                                                                        rccola RE: Disneyfreak Nov 20, 2012 04:24 PM

                                                                                                                                                                        I'd have said, gee, looking at you I assumed you wanted it for naturopathic yeast vaginitis cure.

                                                                                                                                                                        Sorry. I'll go stand in the corner now. =(

                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: rccola
                                                                                                                                                                          gaffk RE: rccola Nov 20, 2012 04:50 PM

                                                                                                                                                                          Snort and chortle . . . I'm saving that in my memory bank should some random shopper comment on my yogurt choice :)

                                                                                                                                                                          Please leave the corner and join the class.

                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: rccola
                                                                                                                                                                            Disneyfreak RE: rccola Nov 26, 2012 11:41 AM

                                                                                                                                                                            Too funny! I wish I would have come up with a comeback like that, but it probably would have embarrassed my daughter.

                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: Disneyfreak
                                                                                                                                                                              cosmogrrl RE: Disneyfreak Nov 29, 2012 12:25 AM

                                                                                                                                                                              Isn't that in your job description as a Mom? ;)

                                                                                                                                                                        2. s
                                                                                                                                                                          Solstice444 RE: GraceW Nov 20, 2012 06:37 PM

                                                                                                                                                                          The cashier at the convenience store said to me a week or two ago, as I was purchasing diet soda, "Diet soda causes cancer, you shouldn't drink it." I said "Lots of things cause cancer." I'm aware that diet soda isn't the best thing for you, but I wasn't about to say "Oh, really? It's a good thing you told me! I'm not going to buy it anymore." I'm sure plenty of people buy diet soda there each day. Is he telling all people this??

                                                                                                                                                                          3 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: Solstice444
                                                                                                                                                                            Lillipop RE: Solstice444 Nov 20, 2012 06:51 PM

                                                                                                                                                                            Because we all know that cashiers @stores hold Ph.D's in nutrition...oncology...cancer research right? Just have to feel a bit sorry for blatantly ignorant people@times and be the polite person we were taught to be by our parents:) I do not even"take the bait" if someone makes a dopey comment I usually just giggle stupidly and then "act out"@ the ATM taking up their time pretending to not know how to use it in a passive agressive manner:)Ha teach them!

                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: Lillipop
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                                                                                                                                                                              pine time RE: Lillipop Nov 26, 2012 12:13 PM

                                                                                                                                                                              I think I'd have a chat with the manager about that checkout clerk. Isn't the store's business selling things, all sorts of things, including diet soda?

                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: pine time
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                                                                                                                                                                                Solstice444 RE: pine time Nov 26, 2012 06:04 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                Good point!

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                                                                                                                                                                            PotatoPuff RE: GraceW Nov 20, 2012 07:01 PM

                                                                                                                                                                            ugh, unsolicited advice makes me so mad I can't sleep at night.

                                                                                                                                                                            9 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: PotatoPuff
                                                                                                                                                                              gaffk RE: PotatoPuff Nov 21, 2012 02:55 PM

                                                                                                                                                                              Have you tried warm milk or perhaps a hot toddy? That should help ;)

                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: gaffk
                                                                                                                                                                                Bill Hunt RE: gaffk Nov 21, 2012 08:05 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                Just don't choose a diet soda - they cause cancer, don't ya know?

                                                                                                                                                                                Hunt

                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: Bill Hunt
                                                                                                                                                                                  gaffk RE: Bill Hunt Nov 22, 2012 06:16 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                  Yes, I only drink red wine . . . good for the heart (but the folks at the diner look at me funny while I eat my breakfast).

                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: gaffk
                                                                                                                                                                                    Bill Hunt RE: gaffk Nov 24, 2012 06:37 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                    LOL!

                                                                                                                                                                                    I am always searching for a great "breakfast Chardonnay."

                                                                                                                                                                                    Hunt

                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: Bill Hunt
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                                                                                                                                                                                      Leonardo RE: Bill Hunt Nov 24, 2012 06:46 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                      Yesterday while in OR wine country, I had a breakfast Gruner Veltliner at 10am. Didn't stop tasting mostly pinot noir/blanc/gris until 2:30.

                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: Leonardo
                                                                                                                                                                                        Bill Hunt RE: Leonardo Nov 27, 2012 07:23 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                        The concept of a "breakfast Chardonnay," just rolls off my tongue, and does not, in anyway, preclude other varietals. As GV's are usually VERY food-friendly, that sounds like a good one.

                                                                                                                                                                                        Enjoy,

                                                                                                                                                                                        Hunt

                                                                                                                                                                                      2. re: Bill Hunt
                                                                                                                                                                                        pikawicca RE: Bill Hunt Nov 26, 2012 12:34 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                        Was hooked on a really good breakfast wine a few summers ago -- a
                                                                                                                                                                                        New Zealand SB that tasted like superior grapefruit juice.

                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: pikawicca
                                                                                                                                                                                          Bill Hunt RE: pikawicca Nov 27, 2012 07:29 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                          While I have obviously not tried every NZ SB, I do not see that, but it's probably my palate, as I am not a big grapefruit fan for breakfast.

                                                                                                                                                                                          Probably just me.

                                                                                                                                                                                          Hunt

                                                                                                                                                                                        2. re: Bill Hunt
                                                                                                                                                                                          KaimukiMan RE: Bill Hunt Dec 4, 2012 11:00 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                          when living in Korea I had one housemate who thoroughly enjoyed chardonnay with his kimchee and eggs at breakfast. I'd been wondering where the wine was going and walked into the kitchen one morning to find him polishing off a bottle that we had with dinner the night before. he was momentarily distressed to find that it was an 'adult beverage', but didn't let that stand in his way. He told me his grandmother drank rice wine every morning and lived to be 94. Who was I to argue.

                                                                                                                                                                                          note: the rice wine was home fermented in an old kim-chee pot - about 3 gallon size - and bubbled and burped away in a corner of the tool shed. it was the shame of the family because during the japanese occupation and up until the end of the Korean War rice was in short supply and it was illegal to use it to make rice wine. Apparently grandma brooked no "unwanted advice" about her wine, legal or not.

                                                                                                                                                                                2. Steve Green RE: GraceW Nov 21, 2012 09:17 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                  Reading this thread to GF, and she told me her experience from back in the days of the saccharine scare. She was admonished by a neighbor for putting saccharine in her tea: "That stuff gives you cancer". GF replied: "Good -- then it'll kill that big white lab rat I swallowed yesterday."

                                                                                                                                                                                  2 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: Steve Green
                                                                                                                                                                                    pinehurst RE: Steve Green Nov 21, 2012 09:21 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                    Awesome. AWESOME!

                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: Steve Green
                                                                                                                                                                                      sunshine842 RE: Steve Green Nov 21, 2012 10:19 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                      lolol

                                                                                                                                                                                      she swallowed the mouse to catch the spider that wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her....

                                                                                                                                                                                    2. Meowzerz RE: GraceW Nov 24, 2012 07:36 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                      I'm not sure I agree with the folks who are reading deeply into it. That dude, if I may say, is an a-hole. On a good day, I might do the token "Heh"-plus half-smile then turn away. On any other day, I'd outright ignore the jerk. One of my biggest pet peeves is anyone commenting on another's selection of food.

                                                                                                                                                                                      1. Bob W RE: GraceW Nov 26, 2012 11:50 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                        This was a grown man? My son recently got into trouble at school for calling a girl "Fatty," but he is just 8 and his verbal filters are still developing.

                                                                                                                                                                                        1. m
                                                                                                                                                                                          makko RE: GraceW Nov 26, 2012 11:52 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                          Did he resemble the Mayor?

                                                                                                                                                                                          1. viperlush RE: GraceW Nov 26, 2012 12:19 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                            I just don't engage the crazy. Either a slight smile or a blank stare. Works well for anyone (strangers in the store, families at holidays, etc.) giving unsolicited advice. I do make exceptions though for the young, elderly, etc. I personally can't wait until I have reached the age where I can get away with saying outrageous/offensive/inappropriate things to random people in public.

                                                                                                                                                                                            3 Replies
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                                                                                                                                                                                              foiegras RE: viperlush Nov 28, 2012 03:53 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                              Raising a single eyebrow is good too. It never hurts to have a look or two up your sleeve that's guaranteed to freeze a miscreant in his tracks ;)

                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: foiegras
                                                                                                                                                                                                sunshine842 RE: foiegras Nov 28, 2012 10:30 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                and The Mom Look. The one that came over the rim of her glasses, just before she spat out your first name, middle name, and last name; when you knew your goose was cooked.

                                                                                                                                                                                              2. re: viperlush
                                                                                                                                                                                                tracylee RE: viperlush Dec 6, 2012 11:00 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                One of the funniest moments I had while in a nursing home, was a resident who was having a really bad day. One of the CNAs came up to ask her cheerfully how she was, and she replied: "Go to He**!" I just wanted to cheer and yell "You go, girl!". It almost made the abysmal food there worth it for the day!

                                                                                                                                                                                              3. Cheese Boy RE: GraceW Dec 4, 2012 11:35 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                It was a man flirting with you. Take it as a compliment. He was trying to help you avoid the battle of the bulge that so many people face here in America with weight gain. You must have a nice bod otherwise he might not have said ANYTHING at all ... (JMO).

                                                                                                                                                                                                7 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: Cheese Boy
                                                                                                                                                                                                  sunshine842 RE: Cheese Boy Dec 5, 2012 09:13 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                  I'm not seeing that line of logic AT ALL. He repeated his admonishment and took off -- not the words nor the actions of a guy looking to make points.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                    rccola RE: Cheese Boy Dec 5, 2012 11:33 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                    Bull. He simply bought into the idea that men have the right to tell women what to do while simultaneously saying that gaining weight will cause the OP to lose attractiveness. A caring, decent man would never do that.

                                                                                                                                                                                                    Imagine if women stood near the checkout line and commented on every dropped-waist beer gut that went by.

                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: rccola
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                                                                                                                                                                                                      foiegras RE: rccola Dec 5, 2012 03:07 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                      What woman has time for that ;)

                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: rccola
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                                                                                                                                                                                                        MelMM RE: rccola Dec 6, 2012 12:40 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                        +10,000

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                                                                                                                                                                                                          rohirette RE: rccola Dec 6, 2012 01:42 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                          rccola, you nailed it.

                                                                                                                                                                                                          There is a certain type of man that feels entitled towards women and our bodies. Most don't, but those who do are real, and revolting.

                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: rohirette
                                                                                                                                                                                                            Karl S RE: rohirette Dec 7, 2012 07:31 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                            +1.

                                                                                                                                                                                                            In no way is that flirting. None whatsoever.

                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. re: Karl S
                                                                                                                                                                                                              c
                                                                                                                                                                                                              Custardly RE: Karl S Jan 9, 2013 02:11 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                              Except for those wannabe players who lead in with a put down to try to convince the female that they're an alpha male. But since he sounds too old for that he must really be an alpha!

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                                                                                                                                                                                                        Custardly RE: GraceW Jan 9, 2013 08:38 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                        So I'm watching "Demolition Man", which is set in 2042. There's a restaurant scene where Stallone's character asks for someone to pass him the salt. Bullock's character responds, “Salt is not good for you, hence it is illegal.”

                                                                                                                                                                                                        Considering NYC soda laws, our future will likely suffer the same fate, maybe then people will stop offering unsolicted advice.

                                                                                                                                                                                                        1 Reply
                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: Custardly
                                                                                                                                                                                                          Motosport RE: Custardly Nov 19, 2013 07:59 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                          Reminds me of the movie Sleeper where the Woody Allen character wakes up after hibernation. The doctors are talking about him and his Happy Carrot Health Food store. One doctor says: "That was before they knew hot fudge and whipped cream were healthy."

                                                                                                                                                                                                        2. Kholvaitar RE: GraceW Nov 15, 2013 07:12 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                          If that stranger admonished me I would be furious.
                                                                                                                                                                                                          I would have SMASHED the cookies in his FACE!!!

                                                                                                                                                                                                          However, with the Holidays coming up...

                                                                                                                                                                                                          I hope such a thing doesn't happen again this year.

                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. m
                                                                                                                                                                                                            mn_praline RE: GraceW Nov 17, 2013 01:47 PM

                                                                                                                                                                                                            I love Bill Hunt's story about receiving good unsolicited advice. That type of advice wouldn't bother me in the least.

                                                                                                                                                                                                            I remember the first time this happened occurred last year. I was at work riding the elevator back to my floor after a snack break. A man took a look at my bagel and informed me I shouldn't put so much cream cheese on it, because cream cheese is fatty. I remember saying, "I don't care," before walking off the elevator.

                                                                                                                                                                                                            1. almond tree RE: GraceW Nov 19, 2013 05:29 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                              In the supermarket checkout line a couple of days ago, the woman behind me picked up my bottle of unfiltered apple juice and said in a very friendly tone, "What's this?"
                                                                                                                                                                                                              When I replied, "Apple juice," she went into a rant about how "that stuff is so bad for you; it's just made from red apples" (??).
                                                                                                                                                                                                              My hair trigger response, "I'm not interested."
                                                                                                                                                                                                              Her: "But it's poison. It's just sugar and water. I'm a dietitian at X Hospital and I'm trying to help you."
                                                                                                                                                                                                              Me, again: "Sorry, I'm not interested."
                                                                                                                                                                                                              That finally shut her up.
                                                                                                                                                                                                              Funny thing was, I also had two large chocolate bars on the conveyor belt, which she made no comment on. Perhaps she considers those health food.

                                                                                                                                                                                                              9 Replies
                                                                                                                                                                                                              1. re: almond tree
                                                                                                                                                                                                                sunshine842 RE: almond tree Nov 19, 2013 06:32 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                wonder if the hospital where she works has any idea that she's wandering around proselytizing on her time off.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                1. re: sunshine842
                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Antilope RE: sunshine842 Nov 19, 2013 07:26 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Now days, Carrie Nation would go into the dessert aisle and start swinging her hatchet. ;-)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  1. re: Antilope
                                                                                                                                                                                                                    almond tree RE: Antilope Nov 19, 2013 08:46 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Lol -- except in this case, she'd swing her hatchet in the fruit juice aisle.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Kill that evil apple juice before it kills you!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  2. re: sunshine842
                                                                                                                                                                                                                    almond tree RE: sunshine842 Nov 19, 2013 08:51 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Sunshine 842, your reply piqued my curiosity. I looked up X Hospital's Dept. of Diet & Nutrition, which shows a large photo of all their staff.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Guess what? She ain't in it.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Weird.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    1. re: almond tree
                                                                                                                                                                                                                      sunshine842 RE: almond tree Nov 19, 2013 09:15 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Ooh. O.o

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      1. re: almond tree
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        j
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        janmcbaker RE: almond tree Nov 19, 2013 09:30 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Maybe she was busy trolling supermarkets when they took the picture. : - )

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        1. re: janmcbaker
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Antilope RE: janmcbaker Nov 19, 2013 10:18 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Undercover Food Police? ;-)

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          1. re: janmcbaker
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Tripeler RE: janmcbaker Nov 20, 2013 05:56 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Maybe she got fired for using the hospital's name while harassing people

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      2. re: almond tree
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Karl S RE: almond tree Nov 19, 2013 11:51 AM

                                                                                                                                                                                                                        That was a situation where the absolutely silent but glacially icy glare - the kind that nuns used to perfect - is appropriate.

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