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Disruptive Crowds at a Restaurant

So, we just got back from dinner at a local restaurant that we frequent a lot.l We were seated a few tables in front of a crowd of 8 plus a baby. There were others in the restaurant, and two other couples outside with us. This group was very loud, which wasn't so bad, but one guy the one doing most of the talking(yelling) kept dropping the f-bomb. It was very annoying, the man in front of us was getting up to say something to them, but his wife stopped him, and another couple kept looking back at them. One of the waitresses walked up to us , and I asked her to say something, she went over there but I don't know what she said or if she even understood what I said.

Anyway, as we were leaving I walked over there and said that it was great that they were having a nice time enjoying themselves. I then said it would be nice if their friend wouldn't drop the f-bomb all the time as it made our dinner not enjoyable. I was very nice and quiet, one guy just got so defensive and said that this was a public place and that they could do whatever they wanted and I could have just gotten up and left. There were eight of them and they just went off, and these two guys wouldn't let up.

Grant it, I probably shouldn't have gone over there, but I was very nice, and they just got so nasty. What would you have said or done?

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  1. I would have asked for the manager, told him/her that I was a regular, and if they couldn't seat me somewhere out of the area of the boisterous, trash talker I would not come back again.
    Was the party drinking heavily which lead to the loudness? This happened years ago to my family. Nobody did anything, just let it go and quietly endured the situation. One of the members of the party got into the car, after drinking and making a scene, and promptly caused an accident that resulted in major injuries. Perhaps more people need to speak up.

    5 Replies
    1. re: latindancer

      They were drinking, and they had a new baby, which was the child of the most obnoxious one. Unfortunately, the restaurant is an ethnic one and the people working don't understand a lot of English, didn't want to deal with the situation.

      1. re: paprkutr

        All the more reason to make sure the obnoxious drinker didn't get in to a car and drive away with a new baby. What if....? Regardless of whether they don't 'understand alot of English...
        there are lots of avenues to go down with this one.

        1. re: latindancer

          i'm not clear about how confronting an obnoxious drinker would prevent him/her from getting into a car with a baby and driving away. (oh, that it would be that easy)

          1. re: latindancer

            Dear dancer, "Lots of Avenues" , well you have mentioned none. Lets be careful here that we, you do not make the injured and innocent party responsible for mitigation of the situation. Exactly westsidegal, I am not clear on that either!

        2. re: latindancer

          I agree -- I think it's the job of the restaurant manager to make sure customers are taken care of. Let him or her be the "bad guy."

        3. You gotta be able to read people. If you sensed that they were approachable then you did the right thing. On the otherhand some guys are what they appear to be and are best left alone. When I'm in this situation I'll often utter a sharp "YO!" to get the party's attention that they've crossed a line. If that doesn't help change their behavior I leave it alone.

          1. That sucks paprkulr. Makes me glad I cook more at home these days. This has happened to me many times over the years and so I've gotten very picky about my table. It's become almost a strategy game for me. If I think a group is likely to get out of hand I simply won't be seated near them, I'd rather leave if that is my choice.
            I've learned not to bet on a loud group leaving soon just because the waiter is clearing away their dessert dishes. Big mistake. The last time I got trapped in a bad situation was not an f bomb but an aftershave bomb.
            After my friend and I were seated and had ordered, an elderly couple was seated in the next booth and the old guy must have dumped some men's cologne or aftershave over his head. Our food came shortly after and it was one of those rare times when we really had to eat and get on to the next thing on our quest log or I would have tried to pick a little and then get it to go. I couldn't taste my food because of the cologne in the air. It was a small place and I don't know if another seat would have helped. I just had to do the food as fuel thing and move on. As for confronting them, sounds like they all packed up on you like wolves. This is probably not a good idea but I wonder what would have happened if you had pretended to make a u tube of their behavior? Probably would have incited a riot or something.
            If it wasn't so loud you could have pretended to complain about them to someone on your phone. Probably would not have worked either. Sorry that happened to you.

            1. Sorry to hear about your experience. You're not the first, you won't be the last.

              1. I would have been that woman who stopped her husband if he tried to say something. Not a good idea to confront an obnoxious stranger who has been drinking. Especially one in a Party of 8..:-) You may have thought you were being nice about it but he not so surprisingly didn't did he. Considering how the staff neglected to handle the situation (your being regulars and all) it's up to you whether to go back or not.

                4 Replies
                1. re: miss_belle

                  She didn't talk to the manager. She talked to a female employee.

                  Sadly, there are lots of people who do nothing in any circumstance. This includes watching, and walking away, from lots of horrible things. It seems to becoming customary to 'not getting involved', not say anything for fear of something or another, no matter what the problem.

                  1. re: latindancer

                    I absolutely agree. Not wanting to get involved is not a sufficient excuse, if you have the ability to prevent a possible tragedy. Obviously you need to use common sense (do not go over to a strangers table and begin yelling at them nose to nose), but if you see someone drinking excessively, say something to a manager to at least make sure that the drunk does not get behind a wheel. If everyone assumes that someone else will say something, no one will.

                    1. re: NicoleFriedman

                      That's quite a reach...who said a drinker was driving

                    2. re: latindancer

                      "She talked to a female employee" does the fact that it was a female negate the complaint??? I think not. If the situation was not abated that female employee had the obligation to tell her management. It is a management problem. Obviously by the reaction of the offenders to the complaint anything more assertive would have increased the danger for all parties. If the manager got no results then to the police. It is called disturbing the peace.