Psst... We're working on the next generation of Chowhound! View >
HOME > Chowhound > Not About Food >
Oct 20, 2012 11:25 AM

When your spouse do not care about foods.

A Hypothetical Question:

I am sure that most of you greatly care about foods. Maybe you love trying the new restaurant around the corner, or maybe you cannot wait to try out the new key lime pie recipes, or maybe you have been saving money for the newest Green Big Egg smoker grill.

Now what if your spouse does not care what so ever about food? He/she realizes the nutrient importance of foods, but do not share the variety and enjoyment in food related issues. To your spouse, eating/drinking is like breathing air -- very important, but nothing to get excited about.

Is your spouse like this? If so, how to handle your food obsession about him/her? Do you tone it down? Do you hide it? Do you try to convince/justify? If your spouse is NOT like this, then can you imagine what you would in such a circumstance?

P.S.: It does not have to be your spouse really. If you have a story to share about someone very close to you, that is cool too.

  1. Click to Upload a photo (10 MB limit)
  1. I had a close friend who married a thin man who had once been obese. He ran miles a day and only considered food as fuel. She, on the other hand, was not thin, loved to cook and loved to have dinner parties. The marriage lasted 5 painful years....along with many others reasons the last straw was when he told her that remodeling their very out-of-date kitchen (they had bought the house 3 years before agreeing that would be done) was a waste of money and he would not allow it. PS The NYTimes ran an article today on a guy who keeps him self underweight whereas his wife loves to cook, eat and entertain...strains the marriage.

    1 Reply
    1. re: escondido123

      <ran an article today on a guy who keeps him self underweight whereas his wife loves to cook, eat and entertain...strains the marriage.>

      That is tough. It is like trying to quit smoking while the other one is a chain smoker.

      1. My husband isn't as into food as I am. He's a huge gym rat (and it shows :)) and considers food to be fuel. He "treats" himself with unsalted veggie chips lol. But, he'll eat whatever I make as long as it's healthy and he'll go to any restaurant I want to try out. He compliments my cooking and we've figured out a routine that works. I suppose it's like any hobby- your partner doesn't necessarily need to love it or participate but they do need to get why you love it and respect that you'll spend time and money (within reason) to pursue it.

        2 Replies
        1. re: Hobbert

          <I suppose it's like any hobby- your partner doesn't necessarily need to love it or participate >

          Probably more though, just because your partner can participate most other hobby without being in your face. If you like trying new restaurants, then it would be tough to try the new restaurants with someone else instead of him. Whereas I can imagine you can join a tennis club without dragging him into playing tennis with you.

          1. re: Chemicalkinetics

            Nah, I just go with someone else. It's not going to be fun going somewhere with him if he's not going to enjoy it. Ideally, it would be nice to go to any restaurant together but it's never been like that, so I don't feel like I'm missing out. I can understand how it would be a deal breaker but we're pretty independent.

        2. Got a very longtime friend like that, we get together for a meal once in a while and I can't let him choose the restaurant because he chooses where to eat at random, to him all restaurants are the same, and I get stuck eating a lousy over-priced meal.

          3 Replies
          1. re: redfish62

            <because he chooses where to eat at random>

            Random can be fun. :)

            <I get stuck eating a lousy over-priced meal.>

            Think of it like -- donation.

            1. re: redfish62

              "to him all restaurants are the same"

              OMG. I cannot comprehend this.

              1. re: sandylc

                Actually I see this in my workplace. One of my coworkers is a foodie and loves to talk about foods, restaurants..etc, and ALWAYS bring gourmet lunch meals prepared by his wife -- who was a trained cook. The other of my coworkers do not really can too much about food. His goal is to minimize wasteful spending on foods. He buy boxes and boxes of frozen microwaveable lunches/dinner from Sam's Club -- in order to save money.

                I guess everyone has different priority. I can imagine this can cause some problems if spouses have very different values on foods. One want to spend time and money to prepare gourmet foods and dine at good restaurants. The other considers these as wasteful spending and rather use the money on elsewhere.

            2. My husband loves good food, but we have very different palates. I love most every cuisine. He prefers American, French, Italian and some Mexican.

              Lunch is my Utopia. I am fortunate to have flexibility at work and can have lunch most anywhere in town I want. Sometimes that means I drive 20-30 minutes for lunch (not all the time, but 1-2 days a week). I have Indian food at least once a week. And I also often have Thai and Vietnamese as well as authentic Mexican.

              1 Reply
              1. re: Janet from Richmond

                <My husband loves good food, but we have very different palates>

                That can also certainly bring in some difference and stress. Thanks for sharing.