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Sep 7, 2012 07:51 AM

Two people ordering the same dish; ok?

My husband is not ok with us both ordering the same thing at a restaurant even if that's what we both want... I think this might be a cultural thing. Does anyone feel the same and if so, can you help me explain why.

Many Thanks!

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  1. I think this is perfectly fine.

    In fact, when you do a tasting menu, this is taken to the nth degree.

    1. I would hope he's the one who changes his order if he feels this way!

      1. Very silly. The only reason I could think not too is if you want to try more things from the menu. Maybe your husband is hoping you'll get something different so he can have his AND yours!

        1. "I think this might be a cultural thing"

          What culture?`

          6 Replies
          1. re: FrankJBN

            Family culture. He seems to have picked up somewhere that that it's just "not done" or embarrassing somehow. I don't quite understand it but he gets very uncomfortable. I want to be supportive and understanding but sometimes don't want to share.

            1. re: musugu

              ohhhh he wants you to share so he wants you to get something different. We do this sometimes but only when we both are in agreement. Either of us has been known to say, I really want it all so if you want some order your own dish. And that is fine too.

              1. re: musugu

                Interesting. In my family, a bit of familial sharing was OK, but plates were usually not passed. Soup was an obvious exception.


                1. re: Bill Hunt

                  Does one pass the soup to the left or the right?

                  1. re: Peg

                    Neither. Away from one's self.

                    1. re: Peg

                      Well, I would suppose that this would depend on which side of the one, who ordered the soup, was sitting.


              2. While I don't have strong feelings about it, my wife and I usually make a conscious effort to order different things from each other at restaurants. Mainly for the sake of variety since we share plates. I think it's especially wise not to get the same thing when you're ordering something you both haven't tried before.

                4 Replies
                1. re: Chi_Guy

                  I dont really have any stromg feeling about it either, but now thinking about it I can only recall one time we ordered the same thing and even then we ordered it prepared a different way. We are sharers though.

                  1. re: LaLa

                    Mr S and I tend to order different things and share bites (or not share if he orders lamb or I order liver). There are rare occasions we both want the same thing, so that's what we order. No rules or customs or etiquette involved.

                    When I go out with my work team for lunch (about 12 of us), I can usually tell what one item on the menu most people will order...usually a pasta/chicken combo. Usually at least half the team will order the same thing.

                    1. re: Sooeygun

                      I'm very cool with that. You get the liver, and I get the lamb - nothing ba-a-ad about that, as long as one wine can work with both courses, or we can have other wines somewhere along the line.


                  2. re: Chi_Guy

                    Sounds like my family. We also will chose dishes, based on the wines, that we wish to drink, but nothing is set in stone. As we have slightly different tastes, it has proven fairly easy for us, and there are few meals, regardless of the number of courses, where we DO order the same things. When we do, that is fine too. No big deal. I just try to pick a wine for THAT course.