86368 Mon Oct 25 15:36:03 -0700 2004 7 3 California 0 476905 “Sideways” is a terrific movie w Oscar-worthy performances by all 4 of the principals. For the Santa Ynez Valley oenophile & hound there is much to savor. Major scenes take place at the Hitching Post, a board favorite (& rightly so). One critical scene takes place at A.J. Spurs down the road, a restaurant which earned a place in the Grubs’ memory banks by being the model for most of Mr G’s list of 10 Signs You Should Quickly Head for a Different Restaurant. Several boutique wineries receive fond references, while one fictitious one provides the backdrop for a scene of utter hilarity. If this film is viewed widely, the Santa Ynez roads will become as clogged as Napa’s. Finally, a beautiful & tender scene btwn the exceptional Paul Giamatti & the equally exceptional Virginia Madsen will forever change the way you think about wine & possibly your lives. WARNING, Will Robinson. The movie contains much graphic language, a couple of serious sex scenes & full frontal male nudity. And BTW, “if anybody orders Merlot, we’re leaving.” Mon Oct 25 15:36:03 -0700 2004 0 Mr Grub 1 476915 Mr. Grubb, how about posting your "10 Signs You Should Quickly Head for a Different Restaurant"? Sounds like a hoot. Mon Oct 25 19:06:50 -0700 2004 476905 0 PolarBear 2 476918 It's been a while, so here's both lists: Mr. Grub’s 15 Hints to Choosing Restaurants 1. Avoid restaurants in the shape of something in which you wouldn’t eat, like a boat or a goat 2. Avoid restaurants above the ground floor 3. Avoid restaurants with initials in their name, i.e., Mr. C’s, T & A Cafe 4. Avoid restaurants advertised by American Express 5. Avoid restaurants with unnatural cuisine combinations, i.e., Cambodian/Scottish 6. Avoid restaurants that are open on Monday (when the chef is off) 7. Avoid restaurants with costumed, roller-skating, or singing servers 8. Avoid restaurants with an “’n” in their name, i.e., Pig ’n Speculum 9. Avoid restaurants involving non-cooking celebrities, see Elle, Britney, JLo, Rex the Wonder Horse 10. Avoid restaurants where valet parking costs more than you’re paying the sitter 11. Avoid restaurants touting their view more zealously than their food 12. Avoid themed restaurants, especially those with unappetizing themes, i.e., tropical jungle, public housing 13. Avoid chain restaurants, if chain is longer than 3 members or 30 miles 14. Avoid restaurants with alliterative, misspelled names: Sindy’s Seafood, Phil’s Phish 15. Avoid restaurants where size seems to matter: "386-foot-long buffet!” “Chef's special two-foot-high prune & okra tart!” “17 billion snails served!” Mr. Grub’s 10 Signs You Should Quickly Head for a Different Restaurant 1. Menu written on something unnatural, like a wine bottle or deer head. 2. Table tent cards: “Try Our Lentil Margueritas!”, “Reserve Now for St. Swithin’s Day!” 3. Crayons on the table. 4. “Specials” written during the Carter administration. 5. Dish on menu noted as “cooked to perfection,” “authentic,” “genuine,” or “just like Mom’s.” 6. Menu features “celebrity” dishes, such as Charo couscous, Jeffrey Dahmer steak tartare, Shaq foie gras. 7. Dangerously heavy lawn sale items, i.e., scythes, bathtubs, or outboard motors, festoon the walls. 8. Souvenir jams, jellies, t-shirts, bongs or handcuffs conspicuously for sale. 9. 16-year-old gum-snapping Valley Girl hostess welcomes you with, “Didja have a reservation today?” 10. Music loudly playing any of the following: Mettalica, Enya, alternative Indian, Damaged Children, “That’s Amore,” Ol’ Dirty Bastard, ranchera, or anything by Whitney Houston or John Denver. Mon Oct 25 19:37:06 -0700 2004 476915 0 Mr Grub 3 476984 Ah, does that mean no Sonics for hamburgers and jalapeno poppers? LOL ***kim*** Thu Oct 28 14:34:00 -0700 2004 476918 0 kim c 1 476921 Hi Folks- Please do continue the discussion of food and drink in the Santa Ynez Valley here, but please take the discussion about the film, or Mr. Grub's list to the Not About Food board. Please help us keep the focus of the discussion this regional board about the regional chow. Thanks. Mon Oct 25 20:04:55 -0700 2004 476905 2 The Chowhound Team 1 476927 The 87 year old in-laws have close friends in Solvang so we visit frequently. For many years they thought A.J's was haute dining and we would go for dinner only there. Fortunately, their early bed times dictated that we have dinner at 5:00 so we'd take them to A.J.'s, they'd eat (we'd drink) then take them to the hotel. We'd then go to HP for dinner about 7:30 or so. Now, the FIL eats only tuna sandwiches so we simply get one from a deli and we all go to HP at about 6:30. Tue Oct 26 13:42:13 -0700 2004 476905 0 TomSwift 2 476929 Nice story. Eating at AJ Spurs & HP side-by-side would give even the most novice of hounds a lesson in restauranteuring. Both specialize in basically the same thing -- red meat -- yet AJ's fare is remarkably bland & unappealing, & HP's is consistently delicious. Add HP's lack of all of the hokiness w a capital HOKEY at AJ's & you wonder if the folks at AJ's ever wandered down the street. I guess there is always a market for undifferentiated quantity (see Buca di Beppo). Tue Oct 26 14:31:45 -0700 2004 476927 0 Mr Grub 3 476933 "Undifferentiated quantity." Yup, that pretty much sums up A.J.s. It has its proponents, however, as each time we've been there it's been packed, with people waiting on the porch and in the bar. A diverse-looking crowd, too, from couples to small families to large parties. I was always waiting for the stuffed bear to topple over on some unsuspecting victim. Tue Oct 26 15:25:23 -0700 2004 476929 0 TomSwift