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Negativity?

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The constant negativity on this site is one of the reasons why I'm not as active as I'd like to be. In the case of many users, it seems like they go through life seeking for things to be offended by or to criticize.

Has anyone else noticed this?

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  1. Really? I haven't noticed any negativity on this site at all. Everyone gets along and has such supportive things to say.

    2 Replies
    1. re: HillJ

      And there's no sarcasm either ;)

      1. re: CanadaGirl

        Or finger pointing, or hovering or unwanted help.
        It's all good!

    2. I think when in search of recipes or recs, the site is as good as ever. I think when it comes to reviews it's brutal. I'm extremely critical and I'm sick of people telling me places are great when they obviously aren't, but the poster knows the owners. I have had so many posts lifted because of mentioning I knew someone. It's unfair, because any place you go to once a month or more, you know the staff. As long as you're objective I don;t see a problem, but when you read some of these glowing recs and you know the place is a dump, it's comical

      2 Replies
      1. re: jhopp217

        I report each and every possible shilling (or potential direct conflict of interest) post and let the mod's sort it out. I hope you (and everyone else on this site) will do the same.

        1. re: jhopp217

          You might think you're objective, but you're getting treatment that other "regular diners" don't. I'm a regular at a Spanish tapas restaurant in the Boston area. I wrote up a LONG review of a special dinner there with friends about 6-7 years ago, and it was removed. If you get to try special drinks not yet on the drink menu or tapas are given gratis to your table, not everyone else reading will be able to enjoy the same benefit(s).

          So while it bugged me at the time, I understand. As for if you know a restaurant is bad as compared to a glowing rec, why can't you give your opinion on that? I've never been deleted because I disagreed on the quality of a restaurant.

        2. I've participated in several internet forums, and this one is the most polite by far, on the whole. Some people, however, just can't abide a contrary opinion, no matter how politely expressed.

          5 Replies
          1. re: GH1618

            I agree. People feel free to say things on the internet they would never say to your face. This forum is pretty polite, for the most part, both because it's moderated and because the "community standards" set the tone (just as they set the tone for complete sentences, good grammar, etc., which I appreciate).

            But as GH1618 just put so clearly disagreement is not rudeness. If all you want is for people to hang on every word and shower you with kisses, then perhaps a place like chowhound where people have strong opinions and express and defend them isn't for you.

            1. re: Ruth Lafler

              Good points, Ruth. I would add that I think disagreement and constructive criticism can be a great way to learn something or at least see an issue from a different perspective.

              I once participated on a board where people were TOO nice. Someone would post something that was blatantly false but the participants were so nice they would not correct the person. That does not benefit anyone and in some cases was actually dangerous because people that were not experts in food safety, for example, were offering erroneous advice that could have sickened people.

              1. re: Fowler

                I'm curious, Fowler - would you (or did you) post correcting information in these cases?

                1. re: LindaWhit

                  Good question, Linda. Because the culture of the board was to not correct people I just bit my tongue if the issue was rather innocuous HOWEVER, if there was a clear safety issue ("oh sure you can still eat that pot roast that you forgot to put in the fridge and has been sitting on your counter top at room temperature while you were away on vacation for 4 days) then I would notify a moderator and let them handle the situation.

                  What would you have done?

                  1. re: Fowler

                    You say that the culture of the board was *not* to correct people, but I still think I would have done so. If people got up in arms about it, I would then ask "do you want incorrect, possibly harmful, information to be given out here?" I don't know how people could say "yes" to that. If they did, or argued *against* correcting erroneous information, I would just bow out and leave them to their fallacies.

          2. The short answer is no. Every now and then I come across a post with "attitude," but not often, and really it's no big deal.

            (Am I being negative? <grin>)

            1. There are people with strong opinions here. That's fine with me. Sometimes I'll come across posters who seem to aggressively push a point of view over a much more reasoned dialogue. That can be annoying, and I may decide to respond or possibly just ignore that poster. Doesn't happen often though. YMMV.

              1. Stelmaria,
                What I accept is that in a community of more than 2 million members, some of us will focus on what's wrong rather than what's right. Sometimes pointing out a site problem, a misspoken remark or piece of information or a less than helpful comment can also be viewed as negative, ie: unwanted.

                I don't see "constant" behavior of any type here. We all manage to get along and share good tips with one another 24/7 the majority of the time, ie: on whole.

                But, if you want to focus on those occasions where negative or less than friendly response occur, that's a choice. What I've noticed is ignoring or using the report button works well and doesn't ruin the fabulous posts this community thrives on.

                Besides, any of us could have an off day.

                8 Replies
                1. re: HillJ

                  You have been, and continue to be...a very gracious poster, HillJ.

                  Some folks are actually really crappy on here, but most are not. There are soooo many people wanting to share good tips for everything, it is worth the "eye rolling" that happens when running across the truly crappy ones. At least the genuine helpful people outweigh the others.

                  1. re: sedimental

                    sedimental, my hubby works with some of the most stressed out folks I've ever seen. His profession has been a life lesson in patience. When I see his colleagues socially I see and hear the wear and tear. I'd like to think it's taught me a few things. Raising 4 kids, well...that's a whole 'nother lesson isn't it.

                    So, while I can be just as guilty of feeling the way many do around here, I'd like to think I bounce back quick.

                    Plus a great meal, a nice prepared cocktail, a good book on food-always, I mean always balance me out.

                    Being kind is still free.

                    1. re: HillJ

                      "Being kind is still free"

                      I like that very much. Thank you, HillJ, for being a nice person.

                      1. re: HillJ

                        Kindness is a quality, Kate McDermott, pie blogger ,calls herself a practioner of kindness.

                    2. re: HillJ

                      Nice. It reminds me of that old joke. an old couple sits in front of a porch. A family drives by and asks what kind of neighborhood it is. The couple asks what the neighborhood is like where they're from and they start talking about how horrible it was, mean, rude, etc. The couple said, "Yep, same here." Later, another family drives by and asks how the neighborhood is and they ask the same question. The family says it's wonderful, kind, caring people, etc. The couple says, "Yep, same here."

                      While people might have off days, off posts, here, I don't see anyone being constantly rude. And, I think people might read more into a post than there is. There have been a number of times when I've read someone tell another not to be so rude/snarky and I never read that tone in their post.

                      1. re: chowser

                        Funny. More x's than not I miss the snark and the irony...sometimes even the joke. I think funny can be just as hard to read and defaults to perceived sarcasm or meanness when that wasn't the intention.

                        Why is the benefit of the doubt so hard to offer?

                        1. re: HillJ

                          I agree--sometimes in the heat of the moment, it can be easy to be offended. That's a good time to step away and come back. There is no need to respond quickly. Giving the benefit of the doubt works wonders.

                      2. re: HillJ

                        Great post, so true.

                      3. My impression is exactly the opposite! I've received very helpful suggestions to my posts, and have a really good feeling when I post. I don't think I've even felt a twinge of nervousness of asking questions and have really enjoyed many a discussion.

                        I actually appreciate the criticisms that come along as much as the positive remarks--e.g. responses suggesting that I be more specific when asking for a restaurant recommendation. And I definitely like when people are willing to share their not so positive opinions or experiences with restaurants, cookware and cookbooks, and recipes. I don't always take them as gospel since I often like to form my own opinion, but I am interested in what others notice and respond to.

                        1. I have certainly seen a thread or two that has turned angry but the Mod’s seem to be on top of removing posts that are inflammatory or just completely off topic. Overall I think the site is very well managed.

                          I will say this though……I think what you see or read here is nothing more or less than peoples overall frustration with their lives in general. It’s tough times out there and people are frustrated and it bleeds through on their posts. With soooo much going wrong as a society and country right now some people just want to feel like their voice is being heard and their points or opinions are valid. I can see where a site like this could lead to people who are just flat our frustrated in general to lash out a bit. It is very sad to say but these are some very troubled times in which we live.

                          Best wishes to you all.

                          4 Replies
                          1. re: jrvedivici

                            I've found that negative reviews generally aren't all that common on the site. That's been my experience so far, anyway. Most of the people contributing to the website seem to be looking for the best restaurants with the most value. When I have come across the odd negative review, it seems to be done not in a spirit of maliciousness, but rather as a cautionary warning to other Chowhound members who might venture in.

                            1. re: legsdiamond12

                              Unless I'm mistaken I don't think the OP was speaking in terms of negative reviews but rather infighting and name calling or even bullying of some people in threads. I have seen it here and there and I have noticed the Mod's come in afterward and clean the threads up they will generally make a post stating that the thread has been modified etc. to remove the offending posts.

                              1. re: jrvedivici

                                I have to admit I've seen some of that, although I haven't been on the site all that long. I guess I'd have to concede that I have noticed some of the interchanges becoming overtly passionate (maybe emotional is a better word). So far, my exchanges have been respectful. I made some comments about the hot dogs at Rutt's Hutt in NJ that some took exception to, but it never became acrimonious. On an objective level, if something is crap, it's crap, but at a certain point beyond that, it comes down to subjective opinion. Sometimes some of the comments can be sarcastic without being mean-spirited, but what can be meant as sarcastic I guess can be perceived as being mean-spirited (and vice versa).

                                1. re: jrvedivici

                                  This points out something that has been on my mind here for the past few days. Recently a long-time poster de-activated their account here because they found Chowhound reviews far less useful than those on Yelp (at least that was one reason among many). After digesting that posters comments it became unusually clear to me that "reviews" are only a small part of why I frequent this site. I look to Yelp for opinions, but I don't see much response on that site. It's the response that attracts me here. What I really enjoy here is the conversation.

                                  Anyway.................. re-reading the OP here MY mind goes to discussions and not to reviews at all. Not to say that many review topics don't turn into 'discussions'................... but I also think that a 'review', almost by definition, can much more easily contain negatives. When I see the word "negativity", though, I think about general outlook on things (ie-seeing the worst first) and my mind goes to responses more than to the review itself.

                                  Is this making any sense?

                            2. Yes as a new adherent to Chowhound, I find you have to be very careful about wording and you must be very techinal as a food purist will call you on it. I try to be encouraging to the best of my ability, but did manage to unintentionally offend someone who interpreted my comments as criticism.

                              8 Replies
                              1. re: Ruthie789

                                Nah. You word it the way you want. If someone misconstrues what you wrote, you explain what you meant, and you move on.

                                1. re: LindaWhit

                                  And 5 points for use of the word adherent...can't recall the last time I saw that word in a CH sentence. Welcome, Ruthie!

                                  1. re: HillJ

                                    Much better to be a new adherent than an old irritant... ;-D>

                                    1. re: HillJ

                                      Thank you, unfortunately I spelled technical wrong.. in too much of a hurry to write!

                                      1. re: Ruthie789

                                        You'll never have to worry about the spell-check police outta me, Ruthie. Life's too short! And, Chowhound is NOT a workplace--it's a fun place.

                                        1. re: HillJ

                                          I am having fun, maybe I'm boring...

                                          1. re: Ruthie789

                                            Somehow I doubt that, Ruthie!

                                            1. re: Ruthie789

                                              Not so far, you aren't. ;-)

                                  2. I have followed many boards over the years and have found that this one falls about in the middle when it comes to negativity. Naturally no one likes an a-hole, but sometimes they may come off that way because of their writing style and the fact you cannot see their body language. They could be (to put it nicely) a very direct communicator and that could come across as harsh. Or they may be smiling when you think they have an angry sneer on their face. Those are just two of the issues with anonymous people posting on an internet board.

                                    When I read something that comes across as mean or overly argumentative I try to give the person the benefit of the doubt. We don't know what kind of things they are going through in their personal life. Maybe they are going through a bitter divorce or they just lost their job or a loved one just died, etc.

                                    It is my belief (perhaps naive) that if we all sat down at a big table and enjoyed some good food and wine together one night we would all get along much better on the boards.

                                    4 Replies
                                    1. re: Fowler

                                      Or met down the aisle of a supermarket and starting dancing to the music playing over the loud speaker. Keep an eye out Fowler, I'll get you there yet!

                                      1. re: HillJ

                                        HillJ,

                                        This may surprise you, but I actually love your light-hearted and fun spirit. Who wants to hear from people that are complaining and bitter all the time.

                                        All I ask is that you keep it in your grocery store and not mine. :-)

                                        1. re: Fowler

                                          HillJ, I say we set up a flash mob in Fowler's grocery store with lots of dancing. Oh - and make sure it's one into which we can drag Fowler and then post the video on Chowhound. :-)

                                          1. re: LindaWhit

                                            Oh you both made the end to my lunch a treat. Touche!

                                    2. So, Stelmaria - still convinced of the negativity of Chowhound?

                                      1. To see how polite and helpful the Chowhound group is, take a day or two to read comments on a political site like Fox or Salon or even Yahoo. You'll come back here breathing a sigh of relief at the humor and encouragement all around you on CH.

                                        1. I've had a homemade Mexican menu described as something Rachael Ray would make. I also just read a thread where one person said that another's restaurant suggestions "weren't Chow-worthy". Not very welcoming IMO

                                          5 Replies
                                          1. re: Njchicaa

                                            " I also just read a thread where one person said that another's restaurant suggestions "weren't Chow-worthy".

                                            I hope you asked that individual for the specific definition of what qualifies as "Chow-worthy".

                                            1. re: Fowler

                                              And what one person qualifies as "Chow-worthy" doesn't mean everyone is going to think the same thing. If everyone joined in the Groupthink, there wouldn't be any new restaurants to try.

                                              1. re: LindaWhit

                                                Exactly. No one is the end all be all expert on what is "Chow-worthy" I thought their statement was silly and would liked to have read their definition.

                                              2. re: Fowler

                                                Oh this has to fall under the "really?, who cares" mode of participation. Clearly, personal preference is going to dictate choice. And who really talks like that in RL?

                                              3. re: Njchicaa

                                                No, and not consistent with the CH mission statement. There are threads about folks' love of Chef Boyardee canned ravioli and threads about haute cuisine or Kraft mac and cheese and they all belong here equally. They don't have to be equally loved by all.

                                              4. I get a kick out of the comments I receive when I ask for a restaurant suggestion that will please a guest who is not an adventuresome diner. I'll often get a snarky comment with quotes...but the places they mention are often helpful!

                                                24 Replies
                                                1. re: Tripper

                                                  Don't mention that you are interested in going to a steakhouse, that is frowned upon and poo-pooed. There are some definite food snobs on this website.

                                                  1. re: Ruthie789

                                                    Hang in there Ruthie! CH's have as many points of view as there are ways to prepare a steak. That's what makes the plate go 'round!

                                                    1. re: HillJ

                                                      Will do, thank you for the encouragement!

                                                      1. re: Ruthie789

                                                        Ruthie, you'll see the admonition here now and then,
                                                        "don't yuck my yum".

                                                        It's yours to use, girlfriend... I personally like your style.

                                                        1. re: jmcarthur8

                                                          Thank you that is very nice. I have to get used to strong opinions on food, just was not expecting it.

                                                          1. re: Ruthie789

                                                            Ruthie, I think strong feelings about food are what bring us all here. Your steak house post was a strong opinion about food, for example. Just sayinzall. ;-)

                                                          2. re: jmcarthur8

                                                            I love the "don't yuck my yum" phrase. :-)

                                                            1. re: jmcarthur8

                                                              With all due respect, to me "don't yuck my yum" implies one should never offer a differing opinion to yours. (The editorial "yours") Kind of hard in some of the threads here. Does that mean a "What is the Best..." topic should have all dissenting comments excised by the mods? I would hope not. I often learn more from the back-and-forth in these threads than from the original post. Sure, they can sometimes get drawn out and OT, but I just skim past them and move on. And most of the viscous posts *are* deleted.

                                                              Some people take differing opinions way too seriously or personally, but I am not usually one of them. I don't offend easily, especially when it comes to what other people eat. You don't like something I do? No problem, just leaves more for me. Works the other way around, too.

                                                              So feel free to yuck my yum. And yes, I may occasionally yuck yours. After all, there are some things people eat that are just plain yucky. : > )
                                                              .

                                                              1. re: al b. darned

                                                                al, I take the yucking of the yum phrase as saying not to denigrate my choice, more than that you must like what I like.
                                                                It's more about what we say (and how we say it), than about what we like to eat.

                                                                1. re: jmcarthur8

                                                                  Agreed. There is a deli out here in L.A. famous for their pastrami sandwiches. Some hounds (me included) like the version they offer on rye bread with pastrami, Swiss cheese, coleslaw, and Russian dressing. This choice makes a few of the die hard "purists" crazy for some reason and they like to jump in with a lecture about how folks should order just pastrami on rye with some deli mustard. That makes me a little crazy in turn and I inevitably end up writing something along the (sarcastic) lines of "By all means, don't order the sandwich the way you like it. Just do as you are told and leave it at that."

                                                                  1. re: jmcarthur8

                                                                    Point well taken. Taken in that context, I don't think I have yucked anyone's yum, and don't intend to start. As I said, I don't like it...more for you.

                                                                    The opposite should also hold true, as in, "How dare you not like (insert yucky food here)?"

                                                                    >>>
                                                                    It's more about what we say (and how we say it),...
                                                                    <<<
                                                                    Exactly! And as I said down thread, sometimes the nuances of a verbal reply gets lost in the transition to the screen, resulting an unintended misinterpretation.

                                                                  2. re: al b. darned

                                                                    Yep. As I said a month ago, "'pro' is rather boring without some 'con'."

                                                            2. re: Ruthie789

                                                              Ruthie......if you don't mind me asking what board to you post on that frowns upon steak house requests? I find that odd.....my "local" board is NJ and steak's/steakhouses are an often spoke about topic....perhaps because of our proximity to NY and some of the best steaks/steakhouses in the world we are more engaging about the topic. That’s why I was wondering where you were receiving such treatment.

                                                              Anytime you want info on steakhouses…..come post to the NJ/NY boards several of the posters travel for business and might have been to your area and can give you some tips!!
                                                              (FYI Ruthie if ever in NY try Ben & Jacks my personal favorite!!)

                                                              1. re: jrvedivici

                                                                If this is the thread being referred to, I hardly think it qualifies as steakhouses being frowned upon and poo-pooed.

                                                                http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/861851

                                                                There may be some other concepts that are poo-pooed in that thread, but certainly not the concept of a steakhouse.

                                                                1. re: carolinadawg

                                                                  This.

                                                                  1. re: linguafood

                                                                    huh? I just read thru the thread carolinad highlighted and the OP and subsequent comments primarily focus on dessert. Tiny focus on steaks. Ruthie is that the right OP?

                                                                    1. re: HillJ

                                                                      Yes. I am out of the loop on fine dining. To each his own! I never thought a mention of steak or classic desserts define me as old school.

                                                                      1. re: Ruthie789

                                                                        Steak is a topic enthusiastically discussed in lots of forums on these boards. I'm guessing "surf and turf" might draw some snark (not that folks should do that about another person's tastes) but that's not anything to do with mentioning steak. And those desserts *are* old school! Nothing wrong with liking them, and there's nothing wrong with noting that they've been out of circulation most places for a very long time, so criticizing a place for not having them might not be fair, either.

                                                                        Here's the thing; you like what you like and don't let anyone else's opinion change how you choose to contribute, unless it's a moderator. :-)

                                                                        1. re: Ruthie789

                                                                          From where I'm sitting you have to have some tread on ya to know what old school means, right? In my time we called that EXPERIENCE!

                                                                    2. re: carolinadawg

                                                                      After reading through that thread (a fairly long period of time out of my life I'll never get back...(g) I think the "frowned upon/poo-pooed" came out of some comments about surf and turf not qualifying as "fine dining" by a couple of posters. As ipse opined in that thread, steakhouses tend to be old school places by definition so I think they tend to be less cutting edge (figuring that most of their customers are looking for old school mains and dessert and starters and salads)...

                                                                    3. re: jrvedivici

                                                                      Thank you. Need to have a timeout for vacation!

                                                                    4. re: Ruthie789

                                                                      I've seen lots of steak house discussions without any uncalled for negativity... this is a site where all sorts of folks share their opinions. Just blow off the ones that don't resonate with you. :-)

                                                                      1. re: Ruthie789

                                                                        Ruthie,

                                                                        If I am thinking of the correct thread, I did not see any poo-poing of steakhouses. What I did see (among other things) were some people implying you have somewhat old school taste in a few things.

                                                                        As a graduate of the old school, I appreciate your viewpoint and hope you continue to contribute. I have a very, very low tolerance for snobbery and I would say the vast majority of regulars here are not snobby. Opinionated, perhaps; but that is different than snobbery.

                                                                        1. re: Fowler

                                                                          Agree it was just so suprising to me that steak in a restaurant was not chic! If I had said I had the Kobe steak or a tartar of some sort which was on the menu I am sure the viewpoint might have been different. I do find the opinions very strong on restaurants as opposed to other threads, I doubt I will contribute to a restaurant thread again. And as well you are correct, I guess I am a vintage girl in terms of all types of cooking including restaurants. I have been to many restaurants of all sorts and prices in Montreal, and don't limit my selections to steak.

                                                                    5. from someone who has belonged to a pregnancy/child rearing forum, this place is as sweet as pie!

                                                                      7 Replies
                                                                      1. re: eLizard

                                                                        oh heavens, I can't imagine eL. And we TALK about pie!

                                                                        1. re: eLizard

                                                                          I can imagine the brutal opinions there must be on child rearing!

                                                                          1. re: eLizard

                                                                            yeah, add spanking and breastfeeding the conversation, and stand back and take cover!

                                                                            1. re: eLizard

                                                                              Well its great that you can converse with other Moms and Dads about issues, It helps to vent and laugh.

                                                                              1. re: Ruthie789

                                                                                i don't call it conversing as much as fighting with strangers on the internet. ;o)

                                                                                1. re: eLizard

                                                                                  It is difficult to judge parenting, they certainly do not come with guidebooks.

                                                                                  1. re: Ruthie789

                                                                                    Parents? Yeah, I wish.

                                                                          2. Not much! Every once in a while there will be a post blasting a restaurant. It's usually someone with an axe to grind. If the moderators suspect this they will delete the post.
                                                                            Every once in a while someone will get "personal" but it's rare.
                                                                            Born and raised in Brooklyn, I have a thick skin.

                                                                            1. If the restaurants were better, and people grew up in a culture and households with better food, there'd be more to celebrate.

                                                                              Nevertheless, I've found people to be enormously helpful, perhaps shockingly so.
                                                                              I'm grateful for certain discerning people out there who post their thoughts with great care.

                                                                              I've faced my share of unnecessary hostility and blanket dismissals, by not sharing opinions about certain places.

                                                                              All things considered, especially the bizarre and horrible stuff people post as commentary online elsewhere, I think we're lucky to have this forum, run as it is.

                                                                              5 Replies
                                                                              1. re: epop

                                                                                Well put. The only thing I'd add is that "pro" is rather boring without some "con".

                                                                                1. re: epop

                                                                                  I think the difficulty you've run into on the LA board revolves more around your belief that there is basically nothing worth going out to any restaurant to eat, not only in Los Angeles, but in the entire United States. That goes way beyond "...not sharing opinions about certain places." and strays into uncharted waters (which naturally gets some very strong reactions from other posters).

                                                                                  1. re: Servorg

                                                                                    True, and I agree, Servorg, and it is why I don't post so often anymore. I didn't always hold these opinions, because there's nothing I enjoy more than going out for a bite.

                                                                                    The whole ethos of how restaurants are run, plus all the noise, has frustrated me... What I can celebrate, however, are airplanes flying me out of the country...

                                                                                    1. re: epop

                                                                                      The great thing about LA is, there's always something new and potentially wonderful coming into fruition here: http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/861373 and you wouldn't even have to go through a new X ray scanner to eat it... ;-D>

                                                                                      1. re: Servorg

                                                                                        Funny, and thank you. JGold also reviewed it, as you probably saw.
                                                                                        I will be trying it after that press dies down.

                                                                                        So, yes, granted, there are a couple places around, but I'd say that's it, sadly.

                                                                                2. I don't think it's negativity, so much as people who are passionate about food, who care greatly about what they eat and have experienced a lot, and thus have a much higher threshold for satisfaction than most "normal" people.

                                                                                  I've gotten into disagreements with people, but as far as I'm concerned, its water under the bridge as soon as the next thread starts. Because there is just too much to be learned, about food in my city, in cities I may visit, kitchen techniques, etc., for me to get hung up on the bad stuff.

                                                                                  And yeah, things get snarky and heated on a fairly regular basis, but hey, it just makes the board more interesting, imo. It'd be a pretty boring place if everyone agreed on everything!

                                                                                  5 Replies
                                                                                  1. re: FattyDumplin

                                                                                    An ideal disagreement should be civil, diplomatic and not snarky. It's a discussion about food afterall. However, what is acceptable to one is not to another and each of us has our own criteria on that.

                                                                                    1. re: Ruthie789

                                                                                      On several occasions I have pointed out that there is a great disparity between intellectual, educational, and social etiquette levels around here. Thus, I renew my reminder, try to read in the posters voice, not your own.

                                                                                      1. re: MGZ

                                                                                        Will do.

                                                                                      2. re: Ruthie789

                                                                                        Agree. Totally a personal choice as to what is deemed acceptable. Just don't lose sight of all the great people and info here...

                                                                                        1. re: FattyDumplin

                                                                                          I agree, it is a great place to learn from others.

                                                                                    2. In a written forum such as this, the nuances of such things as body language and tone of voice are missing. Sometimes something is written with tongue firmly planted in cheek, but gets lost in the transition to the screen, and an unintended fire storm ensues. Add to that a few "hot button" topics [Those of us who have been on board a while know what *they* are : > ) ] and it can sometimes get lively here.

                                                                                      Fortunately those times are few and far between. Like others who have replied to this thread, I have learned to step back and take a deep breath before deciding to jump into the fray.