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What Foods Do You Forego in the Name o' Domestic Tranquility?

The Khantessa doesn't like ham in any form, BBQ ribs and any cream soups. I love all three but manage to do without on her account.

Have you abandoned any gustatory favs?

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  1. Saying I've completely abandoned them would be a lie, but I've had to cut down on the following:

    salmon in any form, my man's just not a fan (save for the very few exceptions of grilled wild salmon)
    onions - raw or pickled. i LOVE pickled onions, but... well, it's not the most pleasant smell after.
    radishes - dito.
    calf's liver - love it, love it, love it. never make it at home cuz it'd be a waste.

    I also had to give up on one of my favorite broc salads with bacon, red onions & cream sauce. Talk about killer breath -- once again the red onions likely being the culprit.

    2 Replies
    1. re: linguafood

      I've also cut salmon from my recipe files due to DH's dislike. I still eat it out, and buy lox (which the kids and I adore), but no more poached salmon or grilled or the like.

      Also, I can't remember the last time I made a chowder of any sort. He likes cream soups, but abhors chowder. :(

      1. re: linguafood

        When I saw the topic on the discussions list, I started thinking about my sacrifices. Gave me a start to read your list. With the exception of radishes, which Mr. Cooks does tolerate, I have had to eliminate the very same foods. In fact, he won't even allow liver to be brought into the house (but I am able to treat myself to smoked salmon; he won't touch it). Sadly I gaze at the lovely wild salmon when it's in season, and hope our favorite restaurant has it on the menu!

      2. Barracuda. I don't eat them, they don't eat me.

        1. Mr. Sueatmo refuses to like quiche. He does not like oatmeal or split peat soup. He does not care for liver or mashed turnips. I don't make any of this consequently. Except I make oatmeal for my own breakfast.

          1. Brussels Sprouts. There is a long list of quite basic food that I can't put into shared meals, though I often cook and eat them during the day when I'm alone, but the scent of sprouts lingers enough to make Himself feel queasy when he gets home. On the other hand, I do have strict rules about when and where he can eat or store his very blue cheese, since that makes ME queasy, so I guess we're even :P

            1. Nothing. If he doesn't like it, he doesn't have to eat it. Same goes for things he likes but I won't eat.

              7 Replies
              1. re: irishnyc

                So you prepare 2 separate dinners/dishes/mains every time you feel like eating something he doesn't like? Wow.

                1. re: linguafood

                  That's just too much time, expense and trouble for us. Makes more sense to simply compromise on a few things.

                  1. re: linguafood

                    Can't speak for others but I've never had to do that. I do a lot of batch cooking for the freezer and due to different schedules we eat at different times during the week anyway, so we feed ourselves with whatever we fancy.

                    Sadly, not all couples can sit down to eat together all the time, nice though it would be, so there's plenty of wriggle room for us both to eat the things we enjoy and avoid the stuff the other likes but we don't.

                    1. re: linguafood

                      Nope. I'll happily eat leftovers or something from the freezer while he eats beef stew or something else that I hate. Other times he'll eat previously frozen beef stew while I eat lamb chops or a chinese dish.

                      We don't disagree on that many things, but neither will budge on the things we do.

                      ETA: I hate most Indian food, he loves it. He'll happily cook an indian dish and leave chicken/veggies/rice aside for me without whatever sauce he's using on it. It's really not that difficult to compromise.

                      1. re: irishnyc

                        It is sad that for some people compromise means one or the other. There is a middle way that is not dissing anyone else why not having to give up the things you love. Being over 60, I think it is important to go forward knowing you get to eat the things you love.

                      2. re: linguafood

                        Better than never getting to eat something I love.

                      3. re: irishnyc

                        Same here. Although to be honest, neither of us harbor disgust for any particular foods. There is some family-wide gripping when I open up a can of sardines for lunch but that doesn't stop me.

                      4. I have roommates, one of whom hates the smell of Indo-Pak food, so I only cook it when he's not going to be around. Then there are foods I grew up with that I sensibly know most people are not going to like the smell of: fermented fish, stir fried chilies, etc. These are secret and rare indulgences that I plan summer vacations around.

                        1. I'll take all the pity you care to give, 'cause in our kitchen, it's pasta, which I dearly love.

                          3 Replies
                          1. re: pine time

                            For me, that would be grounds for finding someone/someplace else to cook. Pasta is dinner at least three nights a week in my house. I offer you spaghetti bowls full of pity.

                            1. re: escondido123

                              Thanks, Escondido. Whenever we have guests, I make some pasta dish.

                            2. re: pine time

                              He generally says pasta nights are mediocre so I used to limit to once a week although now it is less often for health reasons. Asian style noodles ate not in that category and I think he would eat them every night.

                            3. I can't make anything that contains olives, artichoke hearts, beets, goat cheese, and I must never, never, never try to sneak parsnips into beef stew. My husband hates all of these things. His distaste for cooked carrots (He likes raw carrots.) is kind of cute. He will eat whatever they are in, but he picks them out and leaves them in a small pile of the edge of his plate.

                              1. My wife has reactions to spicey stuff, garlic, green / red peppers .... sigh

                                1. Any kind of of casseroles even mac & cheese. Or really just about anything braised. I love short ribs and pot roast and all that comfort food. So I tend to order things like that when we go out rather than make them at home.

                                  1. Canned tuna. He doesnt like it or the smell. But I have banned triscuits and wheat thins from the house. He lacks control when it comes to them. I have banned truffles and portabello from my presence.

                                    2 Replies
                                      1. re: EWSflash

                                        Nah I just tired of the "I cant believe I eat the whole box". We found it easier to just go cold turkey. Same with cheez its which neither of us can be trusted with. But if is a war, as food shopper and cook I'm winning.

                                        But we have comprimised on peanut butter. I grew up with Peter Pan peanut butter and he grew up on all natural. So he has a jar of his peanut butter and I have a jar of all natural cashew butter (for the sweetness).

                                    1. For many years, my husband and I always ate the same meal, each of us forgoing things we might have eaten otherwise. Once he retired, I said we needed a little more flexibility. So on a night when he wants a steak I might have salmon and we each cook our own the way we want it. Otherwise the menu is the same, we just eat get the protein we want. Same for particular ingredients in certain dishes. We both love variations on mac and cheese but I usually prefer it vegetarian while he is partial to cubed proscuitto on top--he puts it on his half and mine is bare. Same for ingredients like capers, olives and such in various dishes--if either one of us vetoes it, it goes into a side ramekin for the other to add on their own. Has really made life happier for both of us.

                                      2 Replies
                                        1. re: Perilagu Khan

                                          Very sensible. I was vegetarian for 20 years, but Mr. Pine wasn't. I made meat dishes for him, and usually just portioned out mine pre-meat. Compromises work.

                                      1. My husband only likes one type of seafood: batter fried fish. He can eat pan-seared salmon, too. But he is not interested in other seafood. I don't cook seafood very often because of that. He especially dislikes anything beyond very mildly flavored fish and large sized shrimp. Squid, scallops, mussels, crab, basically all of the good stuff, he can't eat. But it gives me an excuse to order pricey seafood dishes when we go out to eat, or to go to seafood restaurants with friends.

                                        1. Eggplant. Mr Mag hates it in all forms.

                                          1 Reply
                                          1. re: DrMag

                                            Ditto this. I only make eggplant dishes for me. Would lOve some moussaka or eggplant Parm.

                                          2. Olives. Which I can do without for the most part.
                                            Also - orange flavor in savory dishes. Or salads. I really like oranges in salads so it sneaks in once in awhile.

                                            He like bleu cheese and I do not. I try to cook with it every once in awhile to make up for the orange salad thing...

                                            1. The man has been a real sport about my avoiding wheat since I figured out that it was the culprit giving me heartburn and a rash. We still have "pasta" dishes, with rice noodles now, but that's the only substitute I've bought. He hasn't said a word about bread, crackers, etc. I figure he gets his fix when he eats lunch out so he doesn't miss it at home.

                                              Apparently he likes pork chops (says his Mother,) but I've never made them (I don't like pork other than prosciutto and the very occasional smoked bacon,) and I've never heard him say a word about wanting one.

                                              2 Replies
                                              1. re: weezieduzzit

                                                Why do crackers and bread have to disappear? They come in individual portions and nobody has to eat them that doesn't want to.

                                                1. re: escondido123

                                                  The only meal he really ever eats at home is dinner and I don't use those things anymore so there isn't any reason to buy them. If he were to ask me to buy them I would- but he hasn't.

                                              2. we don't forgo anything. If one of us does not like what the other is cooking we get something for ourselves. no biggie.

                                                1. Great topic!
                                                  Beef stew, or any stew.
                                                  Most soups
                                                  Braises, particularly beef roasts.
                                                  Any "weird" potato recipe. Fried, roasted, baked, or mashed only.
                                                  No egg, potato, or bread type casseroles. Wait...no casseroles, period.
                                                  No Mexican food. He will occassionaly indulge my cravings, but he's so miserable that it is no fun for me. Btw, he adores Taco Hell.
                                                  No dinners w/o some type of meat protein.
                                                  Rice and Beans are out.
                                                  Absolutely no chocolate. Not even my Great Grandmother's beloved chocolate pie.
                                                  No almonds, some nuts are okay.
                                                  Steak is iffy and always must be ordered or cooked "burnt"
                                                  No Thai or Indian. Chinese is about as ethnic as it gets, General Chicken, Holla! Oh and he will eat a gyro occasionally.

                                                  I don't give up these things, but almost never eat them with him. He will eat anything that I cook, minus the chocolate, but it will go to waste and it will not be enjoyed so I usually refrain. I do make a lot of soups and stew for my work lunches. It works out.

                                                  4 Replies
                                                  1. re: Mattkn

                                                    Wow, mind-boggling list! He must be a truly awesome man in ways other than gustatory to compensate.

                                                    1. re: tcamp

                                                      Haha, he truly his ;-) He wanted to make sure that everyone knows that he will eat potato salad and Korean food too!

                                                    2. re: Mattkn

                                                      Heh heh. Your hubby sounds like my dad when my mom married him in 1965. About the only things he would eat were fried chicken, chicken fried steak, beans, mashed taters, spaghetti, and maybe some Tex-Mex. Eventually my mom just started making whatever she damn well pleased and told him he could either eat it or go hungry. He acquiesced and broadened his palate considerably as a consequence.

                                                      1. re: Perilagu Khan

                                                        I could because he would for sure eat it once just to be nice, and then thank me for making dinner. Only I can tell immediately if something is not his fav and maybe I'm too sensitive, but I want him to enjoy what I make. Such a time suck if I put forth the effort and he doesn't like it. I've watched him suffer through many a mexican casserole while eating with friends.

                                                        He does love to eat seafood and I once dated a guy that forbade any type of fish or seafood in his presence. I'm quite content now because he enjoys trying new places and I have plenty of opportunity to eat ethnic food when we are apart.

                                                    3. DH's recent bloodwork showed him to be slightly hypercholesterolemic AND showing a tendency toward gout. That pretty much knocked out meat, most vegetables, fats, and one demands whole grains, the other demands white flour. Oh, and beer- he's big beer aficionado. This is a guy who rides his bike to work 15 miles each way 2-3 times a week , walks the dog every day at least a mile, and plays hard-core basketball for two solid hours on saturday mornings. So everything was forbidden for about a month until I got bloody sick and tired of catering to his neurotic notions, mind you he has never had a gout attack. This has happened before- spartan diet for a month until he gets tired of it and relents a little. then I find he's been eating the usual crap for lunch and quit kowtowing to his demands, since he's not folowing them when i'm not around. Fooey. So no, not for very long, although I haven't made linguine carbonara in years, and I really miss that.

                                                      1 Reply
                                                      1. re: EWSflash

                                                        You cut out meat because of gout, but he still drinks beer? Beer is the worst thing to consume if you have gout.

                                                      2. I am very blessed in that my man and I share most of our dislikes (goat's cheese, very fishy fish). He works shifts, so on the nights we are apart, I get to eat the things I love that he doesn't really care for (pork, mountains of broccolli), but when it comes down to eat, he will pretty much eat anything I cook, except for nuts, which he loathes, and I adore. I eat loads of nuts for snacks, and have meals which feature them when he is not around, but it does mean that when I cook dessert (which I only do when we have guests) no nuts can feature - which is a bit sad, but I can deal with it. On the other hand, I believe bananas (his favourite fruit) are the devil's fruit, so there are no banana desserts either - so I guess we are even :)

                                                        1. I gave up peanut butter, cooked green or red peppers and fish. Hubby gave up brussle sprouts and liver. We both still eat these just not at home. My favorite guilty please is walking to the deli for a peanut butter banana on whole wheat with extra butter.

                                                          1. I don't get it, why would anyone need to forego a food just because someone else doesn't like it? I make dh homemade berry pie even though I don't like it myself. He isn't a fan of white cupcakes, he still buys them for me as a surprise treat and if it's my birthday I choose a white cake if I want it.

                                                            As for main dishes, we both are good cooks and we have no problems making separate dishes if one of us wants something the other doesn't like. It's just not a big deal.

                                                            1 Reply
                                                            1. re: rasputina

                                                              We simply don't have the time to prepare separate mains. Moreover, we get irritated when bumping into one another in the kitchen, which we certainly would if we cooked separate mains simultaneously. It's just much, MUCH easier for us to forego the few things we don't agree on.

                                                            2. Mr Tacos doesn't do risottos, cous-cous or creamy polenta, or cheesy/baked pasta (lasagne, mac n cheese). He will eat them if I cook them, but he doesn't enjoy them, so it takes the wind out of my culinary sails. I save that stuff for when he's on business trips and it's just the Taquita and me.
                                                              Fortunately, my (very short) list of dislikes are things he can easily do without, so it's not too much trouble.

                                                              1 Reply
                                                              1. re: tacosandbeer

                                                                I feel you! The Guy hates most cheeses including anything blue, goat and especially that "yucky soft sandy cheese," which I now know is ricotta. Anything that remotely resembles grits/polenta is also out. The real kicker is cooked greens of any sort, which really disturb him, even in very small doses like a soup. The Dog, however, will anything I do (except pickles).

                                                              2. I think part of this discussion changes based upon how much meal time you are apart. In the last few years I can count on one hand, easily, the number of times my husband and I have not had dinner together. Not saying that's ideal, but just the way it is so we have had to work at finding compromises that suit us both.

                                                                3 Replies
                                                                1. re: escondido123

                                                                  I think it has more to do with perceptions about food and togetherness. There seem to be some that find sharing the same foods as vitally important for a variety of reasons. And others value freedom of choice and personal expression. Arguments such as we " have" to find a compromise are based on value judgments not facts, excluding true medical issues like a life threatening peanut allergy.

                                                                  My MIL lived with us at one point and she is gluten free. It didn't stop me from buying bread. Although she did repeatedly tell me she can't eat that, when I put the groceries away. I just told, well we like it.

                                                                  1. re: rasputina

                                                                    Please. Togetherness and freedom of choice/personal expression are hardly incommensurable. Talk about "value judgments"...

                                                                  2. re: escondido123

                                                                    Same here. Rarely do we dine without one another. But when she's gone for some sort of conference or to see her mom and sis, it's "make wit' da' ham, cream o' pertata soup and BBQ ribs" for Mr. Khan!

                                                                  3. He hates:
                                                                    Macaroni and cheese (tooo many meatless Fridays as a child).
                                                                    Anything banana.
                                                                    Beets.
                                                                    Things I make and he likes way more than I do: stews, oxtail, the occasional goose.

                                                                    1. Thankfully my husband has a very adventurous palate and is very open to every single thing except salmon. He wants to love it but just cannot. So, it is a good thing for me to enjoy for lunch when he is not home.

                                                                      4 Replies
                                                                      1. re: chefathome

                                                                        Funny that salmon has been mentioned as an offending dish so much. I've always considered it one of the most benign fishes in the sea.

                                                                        1. re: Perilagu Khan

                                                                          Yes! I agree. My husband loves sea bass, shark, all manner of seafood/fish. Just not salmon. Oh, well. It does not prevent me from having it!

                                                                          1. re: chefathome

                                                                            I've liked every fish I've tried.... but salmon. It just doesn't do it for me, and the taste is mildly to moderately offensive to my taste buds.

                                                                          2. My Mr. Mister is pretty open. Just no melons of any kind or magos and no fish with tiny inedible bones (trout). Also no kisses if I have raw onions or garlic. I still want those kisses... for now anyway. ;)

                                                                            I eat everything but salmon (mildly allergic). So I make him salmon occasionally and I have a rare tuna steak those nights.

                                                                            1. for the past 8 months while i've been caring for Mom, i've had to forgo all seafood - shellfish AND finfish. she's fatally allergic, and so sensitive that even the odor makes her itch. forget cooking fumes - she'll immediately start to swell up. i can eat something that's already cooked, doesn't require heating, and isn't odorous (e.g. chilled calamari salad), but it still requires taking such pains to avoid leaving any trace behind on a surface that she might touch, that it's just not worth the hassle.

                                                                              1 Reply
                                                                              1. Salmon
                                                                                Pesto
                                                                                Curry
                                                                                Eggplant
                                                                                Risotto

                                                                                1. stuff he's not a fan of that I can live without making: risotto, polenta and other things with a smiliar soft texture (I can get them at restaurants, so I'm not heart broken)
                                                                                  he doesn't like a few of my old family dishes, so I make them in small batches and have them for myself for lunches

                                                                                  I hate lima beans and navy bean soup...I will occasionally make them for him but only when he reminds me how long he's gone without (you don't get that stuff out in restaurants often, so I will hook him up when he's got a craving)

                                                                                  1. My SO is a vegetarian, and has no problem with my consuming most meats at home, with the exception of: lamb, and lobster. It does not bother her if we are out though.

                                                                                    1. We accommodate each other pretty well, and have no problem eating different meals together or apart. Flexibility is key. But....

                                                                                      I can't stand the smell of "fresh" commercial sauerkraut, the kind that comes in a plastic pillow-bag in the refrigerated section next to the chilled pickles.My sister loved it so when we were growing up and I was the pot-washer. Bleh! I don't know if my husband ever had it or wants it, but I ain't heating it. (Is this just a northeastern product? I've not seen it in years, and never yet in TX. But not looking either lol.)

                                                                                      (I do make fresh fermented sauerkraut, whole different flavor, smell, texture.)

                                                                                      I like lemon bars but I'd have to eat the whole batch, he detests them. But fortunately there's always a coworker or two who makes them so I get them a couple of times a year. :)

                                                                                      I try not to load up the house with too much fresh bread, he can't stop himself. I'll buy, portion, wrap and freeze to limit temptation.

                                                                                      1. DH will not eat fish of any type, so haddock, mackerel, smelt, and other beloved dishes are gone til we dine out.

                                                                                        1. Mussels - my husband developed an allergy about 10 years ago, and if I make them, he is mean and jealous. He gets way too sick if he were to eat them, but, he really wants to!

                                                                                          1. Another here who eats much less salmon than she would like. Husband worked in Alaska in a salmon processing plant for several months years ago and either this put him off salmon or he overdosed on it; I have never been quite sure which.

                                                                                            Anchovies.

                                                                                            Fruits and nuts in salads. Actually, I still use these at times. Since we both do the cooking, whoever is making the salad gets to put in what he or she likes, and the other eats it or eats around it, depending on how disliked the ingredient is!

                                                                                            1 Reply
                                                                                            1. re: klynne

                                                                                              Oh, anchovies...I forgot anchovies. Sigh.

                                                                                            2. My husband eats everything, so it isn't specific foods. But when he's away, I can do 'salad suppers' - a light meal with bread, cheese, olives, maybe some cold meat, and salad - which isn't enough to fill him up for dinner.

                                                                                              1. Seems like most people interpreted the question to mean food eaten at home. For us, it is a restaurant issue. I don't like Indian food (yes, yes I know - there are many kinds of Indian food - and I haven't found one I do like - as I have developed a serious aversion to garlic and never liked turmeric or cumin, and these are found in most Indian foods) so he gets to go to Indian restaurants only when traveling or when I am out of town. At home, he eats peanut butter and I just stay out of the room (and won't kiss him!) because I hate the smell of peanut butter. Ditto for the Bovril. Hate it. Hate the smell. I keep my distance. I also don't like ketchup. If he orders fries when we go out, he leaves a few on the side without ketchup for me.

                                                                                                We both hate coconut!

                                                                                                1. There are very few things DH won't eat and 99.9% of the time if he doesn't like it, it's something I don't like either. So we are good there. In fact, I'll read off a recipe or something I have heard and he is more than willing to try it. Guess I'm lucky that way.

                                                                                                  1. Beef liver, and chicken livers - she hates the idea much less the smell.
                                                                                                    Smelts I used to forgo, but even now I will cook only when she is out.
                                                                                                    Pretty much any game meat. I can get buffalo burgs (and actually that is my most common form of "hamburger") but that is about it.
                                                                                                    I also won't eat Cornbread in milk in front of her, grosses her out.

                                                                                                    7 Replies
                                                                                                    1. re: PenskeFan

                                                                                                      (I just had cornbread in milk about 15 minutes ago!!)...

                                                                                                          1. re: melpy

                                                                                                            Not from the South or Texas, are you? ;)

                                                                                                            1. re: Perilagu Khan

                                                                                                              MD is the farthest South I have lived in the states.

                                                                                                        1. re: PenskeFan

                                                                                                          Headcheese & blood wurst - she can't stand either one.
                                                                                                          Me, I love both of them!

                                                                                                          1. re: RichK

                                                                                                            The Khantessa's the same way about headwurst and bloodcheese.

                                                                                                        2. Although there is a list of no thank you items there are few by which I abide. I will use small amounts of Brussels sprouts, mushrooms, raw tomato, cucumber, creamy pasta sauces etc. The only absolute no that I can think of is mayo and a few fruits and veggies.

                                                                                                          He makes a few things that while I eat them in general I don't partake o his version: salmon cakes, pon hoss, scrambled eggs mixed with elbow noodles, instant mashed potatoes.

                                                                                                          I also don't do hardboiled eggs.

                                                                                                          1 Reply
                                                                                                          1. re: melpy

                                                                                                            The Khantessa really likes biled agues. When she makes 'em, I head for higher ground.

                                                                                                          2. Condiments are the offenders in my kitchen. SO won't get near them (this includes mayo, mustard, ketchup, vinegar, all salad dressing, etc.) . I don't forego them completely but go out of my way to keep them away from him. He won't even kiss me if I've eaten a sandwhich with mayo or mustard on it! I just chew gum or brush my teeth after rather than skipping the condiments.

                                                                                                            The other day we made a make shift lunch in the kitchen just picking at meat, cheese, and bread. I used a knife to put mustard on my bread, wiped it clean and then went to cut a slice of cheese. You would have though I was attempting to poison him! Wiping the knife clean is not good enough (I honestly don't know if bleach would be good enough lol) so I use a seperate knife for all of my condiments.