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Birthday party idea around food?

chowser Apr 20, 2012 06:54 AM

I'm planning my husband's 50th birthday party and we both love to eat so I'd like to plan it around that. I think it would be fun to rent a room at a vineyard and have a wine tasting pairing w/ meal but there are little ones in his family and this wouldn't work, pus it isn't nearby. Renting a place and having a pig roast or clam bake might work but this will be in November near the DC area so could be on the cold side. I don't want it in my house and other than possibly making the cake or other desserts, I don't want to be cooking this time. I want to enjoy the event. There will be over 30 people, I'm guessing, could be more. Any ideas? Thanks!

  1. c
    critter101 Apr 20, 2012 03:35 PM

    You might try posting this request on the regional boards once you settle on a location for the party.

    1. pinehurst Apr 20, 2012 03:39 PM

      Well, you could do the vineyard room for just the two of you separate from the family fesitivities.

      You'd need to post on the DC board for venue ideas, but if you do rent a function room or hall, I would encourage guests to bring a dish they know that your husband has enjoyed, or that they've enjoyed with him. Maybe do this by group email so that you won't get 29 salads or something.

      Happy birthday (in advance) to your husband!

      10 Replies
      1. re: pinehurst
        chowser Apr 20, 2012 03:50 PM

        Thanks, critter and pinehurst. If I knew what I was looking for, I could find locations. I was hoping someone had done something different and creative and could give me a direction. I've even thought about renting a house in the Shenandoah and cooking meals myself, maybe his favorites for each meal. So...until I know what I want to do, I need to wait on the venue. My favorite idea is to have it at a trampoline place (roomful of trampolines floor and wall) and have it catered. But, he nixed that.

        1. re: chowser
          GraydonCarter Apr 21, 2012 05:20 PM

          A lot of people like hiring a hall that serves the food, but I'd prefer separating the two. Find a venue and find a caterer. On Friday night I ate at a charity event held at the Women's Club in Washington Grove near Gaithersburg, which probably seats 30 people and has a small kitchen for food prep.

          1. re: GraydonCarter
            chowser Apr 21, 2012 07:00 PM

            Yeah, I was hoping for something different. If it were just about catering food, I could get a private room at one of his favorite restaurants.

          2. re: chowser
            cheesecake17 Apr 21, 2012 06:27 PM

            A cool idea could be to rent out his favorite restaurant and have them share some techniques and ideas with the party. Would work only if the chef is willing, but worth a shot

            1. re: cheesecake17
              chowser Apr 21, 2012 06:58 PM

              That would be fun but with little ones, probably not be too safe!

              1. re: chowser
                cheesecake17 Apr 22, 2012 06:11 AM

                I was thinking more along the lines of rolling pizza dough or a demonstration. If there are a bunch of kiddos paper chefs hats and plastic knives would probably work

                1. re: chowser
                  mamachef Apr 22, 2012 07:25 AM

                  chowser, just a thought: it seems like, no matter what venue you choose, this would be a great time to hire a sitter for the kids - a separate table, with a few fun activities? They'd be in sight of their parents, but it would leave the big kids a bit more free...

                  1. re: mamachef
                    chowser Apr 22, 2012 08:58 AM

                    Ha, you don't know my in-laws.:-) While I would have loved that when my children were little, they are personally offended that their children aren't nearby. For my MIL's big birthday party, I suggested that children not be part of the scene, mostly so my MIL could enjoy herself. When the little ones are present, she's busy helping and doesn't get a chance to eat. Let's just say it wasn't well received.

                    Some of the little ones are well behaved. Some are out of control crazy. Don't get me wrong, I love my in-laws and don't want to offend them. That's why I'm trying to work within tight parameters. I'm thinking Chuck E Cheese might be a good place for my husband's 50th--it's HIS family!

                    1. re: chowser
                      mamachef Apr 22, 2012 09:56 AM

                      Bummer that the 'cheez won't let you bring in food, eh?

                      1. re: mamachef
                        chowser Apr 22, 2012 11:12 AM

                        Because they have that AWESOME pizza.;-)

          3. i
            INDIANRIVERFL Apr 22, 2012 10:26 AM

            Bear with me. I am rereading the Tim Dorsey pantheon and have the essence of Serge Storm rattling around my few remaining brain cells.

            So these hovering adults need to be with the kids? It's time for a Himilayan themed party. Call a local outdoor store and tell them you want to rent the place for an evening of partying and product demonstrations. Use those camp stoves to prepare the oh so delectable freeze dried meals. Tell your guests that their refreshments have to be carried in the 1 liter aluminum flasks designed for the alcohol used in the stoves.

            Can't stand being far from the kids? Issue them back packs, put the little darlings in them, and tell those in-laws they are now the designated Sherpas. They do all the cooking, cleaning, and shlepping while the rest are the pampered climbers. If the kids are 12 years old, so much the better. Pass around tanks of oxygen for realism and strongly resist the urge to switch a couple with repainted tanks of nitrous oxide. Naturally, the dessert should be a baked Mount Everest, large enough for a suitably unattired individual to pop out of to bring an end to a most memorable evening.

            Or just rent some small seedy bowling alley for the evening. Have a hazmat team clean the rest rooms and snack bar, bring in your food, and have fun bowling and eating and drinking the night away at a price far cheaper and more memorable than just renting a hall. The one I went to is still memorable for frame eight. Would you trust your spouse to bowl between your legs blind folded with a hundred dollar prize to whoever gets a strike?

            4 Replies
            1. re: INDIANRIVERFL
              chowser Apr 22, 2012 11:11 AM

              I'd love to do a real sherpa outing! Kids are younger, though, at least the out of control ones are. The bowling alley has promise--I wonder if they'd let me have it catered. I was hoping to have something cleverly food related, pig roast, clam bake or something but maybe I'm wishing for too much. For his 40th, I catered it, all bacon food for him and it was exhausting. I need something easier this time. Maybe I need to blow off his family and just go to the Inn at Little Washington for the weekend for the money.

              1. re: chowser
                GraydonCarter Apr 22, 2012 12:04 PM

                Call Jeff Neely at the GSA for party planning, I'll bet he has some thiinking outside the box ideas.

                1. re: chowser
                  INDIANRIVERFL Apr 22, 2012 12:17 PM

                  Just reread and saw it will happen in November. Here is what I did in cold rainy West Germany for one of my November birthdays. Rented a small church with a great organ and organist. OK folks, get your mind out of the gutter! This was the disco seventies and we had a great time. Amazing what a hundred year old organ can do with ABBA and Euro pop. Rather than potluck it, we ate at a gasthaus across the square.

                  And I wonder which would be wilder, a bunch of GIs in their teens and early twenties or a few ankle biters?

                  1. re: chowser
                    cheesecake17 Apr 23, 2012 08:39 AM

                    Bowling is a greAt idea. I don't see why they wouldn't let you being food in, especially if you choose a place that doesn't have much of a menu.

                2. v
                  valerie Apr 24, 2012 12:44 PM

                  A friend of mine went to her cousin's 50th bday party recently in an ice skating rink. This was in NY (Westchester County) and within the rink there are 2 smaller rinks that they rent out for parties. So people, adults and kids, were skating in their own private area. Not sure if this is an option in your area but I know that everyone had fun.

                  9 Replies
                  1. re: valerie
                    chowser Apr 24, 2012 01:17 PM

                    Since I love skating, this is one of the first things I looked into! But, I decided it would be like my husband planning my birthday party on a golf course. And, as I think about it, the bowling thing might work for the kids but no one in my family really likes bowling. I'd also like a party based around food w/ possible activities thrown in. What I'm leaning towards right now is renting a house in the Shenandoah's. People can join us during the day and they can be out hiking, kayaking etc. while I cook dinner. They can spend the night and I'll have stratas (I think it'll be easy--bags of dried bread, cooked fillings, eggs/milk/cream and assemble in the evening) and cinnamon rolls ready to go for breakfast. If I go this route, I'll be asking on Home Cooking for dinner ideas on what to make for 30+ people w/ few rental kitchen!

                    1. re: chowser
                      cheesecake17 Apr 24, 2012 05:06 PM

                      If you go this route you'll need a vacation from the vacation!!!!

                      1. re: cheesecake17
                        valerie Apr 24, 2012 05:27 PM

                        Exactly! Especially since it says in the original post "I don't want to be cooking this time" :-)

                        1. re: valerie
                          chowser Apr 24, 2012 05:57 PM

                          I know! The more I think about it, the more I think it might be the best option just to roll up my sleeves and do it. Then, I'd be alone in a nice house, a glass or so of wine and ready to cook. I always seem to get myself into these, "How hard could it be to..." situations and then as I do it, I realize it's much harder than I ever thought.

                      2. re: chowser
                        Emme Jun 1, 2012 07:46 PM

                        if you go this route, do a "Chopped" style weekend... ask people to bring ingredients (ample portions) then do challenges to create meals...

                        1. re: Emme
                          chowser Jun 2, 2012 03:55 AM

                          That would be fun! My FIL and MIL are excellent cooks but the others sibs only make green bean casserole, Jiffy corn bread pudding and mac and cheese.

                          1. re: chowser
                            Emme Jun 2, 2012 08:47 PM

                            you can include other cooks or not... or just let people try to stump you... my friends enjoy this... i had to set rules though. at least one protein and one vegetable. items 3 and optional 4 are negotiable. don't expect a quality meal from rainbow sprinkles, smoked gouda, chow mein crunchy noodles and bernaise sauce. just sayin'.

                            if you include other cooks, then the green bean casserole crowd becomes the peanut gallery/audience :)

                            1. re: Emme
                              chowser Jun 3, 2012 08:00 AM

                              I would love to do this, on another occasion with friends who like to cook (although finding the space would be a challenge--sorry only one oven, you're out of luck!). I think there's a restaurant that rents out space so we could use an off time. The problem w/ green bean casserole crowd is that they 1) think they could cook and might be insulted if left out and 2) like green bean casserole.

                              1. re: chowser
                                Emme Jun 4, 2012 08:01 PM

                                oh what is it that they say about not being able to pick your family... ;)

                    2. gaffk Apr 24, 2012 02:24 PM

                      Can you find a caterer who will work with you to prepare recipes from 1962? You could check the archives of popular magazines from that year or hunt down a cook book published that year. Of course, I suppose that runs the risk of tuna casseroles or jello molds with canned fruit . . .

                      6 Replies
                      1. re: gaffk
                        chowser Apr 24, 2012 02:44 PM

                        Apparently, they were very, um, creative with food presentation in 1962.


                        1. re: chowser
                          gaffk Apr 24, 2012 05:41 PM

                          But it would be a fun 50th? (And then rush to the nearest restaurant?)

                          1. re: gaffk
                            chowser Apr 24, 2012 05:59 PM

                            It would be a riot. We could do an all jello meal, even.


                            1. re: chowser
                              gaffk Apr 24, 2012 06:27 PM

                              That's hysterical . . . I say go for it!

                        2. re: gaffk
                          GraydonCarter Apr 24, 2012 07:31 PM

                          I started a thread in the Mad Men thread of TelevisionWithoutPity.com where we planned cannapes and cocktails for each viewing in the first season.

                          We came up with some pretty fun menus.

                          1. re: GraydonCarter
                            gaffk Apr 25, 2012 11:13 AM

                            You should send Chowser the link. Canapes, cocktails and jello. Sounds like a perfect celebration!

                        3. c
                          centralpadiner Apr 25, 2012 06:06 AM

                          Here's my perspective. My family almost always includes the kids in family events - holiday parties, weddings, major birthdays. If a vineyard is what you want, I would do it. I would, personally, have never had a problem taking my kids to a vineyard - oldest is 10 now, and I would have just as happily done it 8 yrs. ago. Just because the kids can't have wine doesn't mean they can't enjoy the beauty of a vineyard. My daughter has tagged along while my husband and I have toured and tasted in the Finger Lakes (prior to a family wedding) and thought it was just great. Some places happily gave her grape juice or apple cider to try. And if the weather is nice, most vineyards have lawns and outdoor space to allow running around.

                          In our family, the adults stand around, enjoy their glasses of wine, and the kids pretty much entertain each other with some minor oversight, while the infants are awww-ed over and cooed at while being passed around to adoring aunts.

                          When my grandfather turned 90, all 18 great-grandchildren were invited. It was indoors (he's a New Year's Day baby), it was a sit-down meal, and our entertainment was a hired opera singer. Yes, between courses the kids ran around and some of the ones with more "free-thinking" parents crawled under the tables, but in truth, they created no more noise than the chatting adults. And when the singing began, my 4 y.o. was absolutely entranced. My son was allowed to sit in the bar area of the venue with uncles and cousins watching football games.

                          Point is, don't keep checking places off your list, just because it isn't a place you'd typically take kids. The presence of kids doesn't also require the presence of a bounce house. If the weather is nice, and there is outdoor space to enjoy, take some bubble stuff and let the kids run and be happy. If it has to be confined indoors, perhaps a small activity table would be a nice thing to include -- look into Crayola Color Wonders products to avoid crayon or marker stains on white table cloths. Make sure the caterer is willing to provide them with food that will make them happy (if the rest of your menu won't) and let the parents worry about them beyond that.

                          5 Replies
                          1. re: centralpadiner
                            chowser Apr 25, 2012 08:47 AM

                            If we could do it outdoors, that would be great but this is in Nov. It's not out of the question to do a vineyard but I hate hosting parties when kids are running all over the place. I don't mind attending a party and minding my own business.

                            1. re: chowser
                              centralpadiner Apr 25, 2012 09:45 AM

                              OK, so I said if it has to be indoors, supply an activity table. (the weather in NoVa CAN be quite lovely in Nov., btw) My point is, I think you are getting hung up on the kid issue and it is strangling your creativity. Decide what you really want to do first, how the kids will be entertained is secondary, they can be fit in. You say you don't like hosting parties with kids, but you already know you are stuck with that - so you have to work with it.

                              And, I've been to pig roasts that were catered and served indoors. It's about great pork, it doesn't have to be an outside picnic. You're in D.C., you could do a crab feast - again, at the right location, indoors would be fine. It could be themed around his favorite ethnic cuisine. As someone suggested, foods reminiscent of the '60's (it doesn't have to resemble the photo you linked above). Maybe you need to talk to some venues and have them offer you ideas or tell you things they've done in the past.

                              Your criteria - from what I can gather from OP and your posts since are: 30 people including some unruly children, indoor and preferably unusual venue, not at home, not cooked by Chowser (except maybe the cake), really great and fun food with a theme.

                              My favorite of the suggestions above is the cooking class. In fact, it seems most appropriate for the kids, since they will have parental help/supervision and it will keep them occupied yet a part of what the grown-ups are doing. It doesn't have to be a class on knife skills. What ages are we talking about? Even 2 y.o. love dumping ingredients together and helping in the kitchen. The right chef/instructor would be able to come up with a plan suitable for a large age range.

                              1. re: centralpadiner
                                chowser Apr 25, 2012 09:57 AM

                                Hmmm, maybe subconsciously I'm nay saying all suggestions (including ones I've done in my head) because I don't really want to deal with this in those parameters. Suggestions have been excellent, btw, and I appreciate everyone's thoughts. I haven't written them off as much as am thinking of possible barriers. As cooking goes, this is a possibility, and much more inclusive than my beer making idea I've already discarded.


                                But, yikes, see another thing that blows my mind is the cost--it would be $100 per person and that's just for the class. I can rent a huge house for $300 a night!

                                1. re: chowser
                                  centralpadiner Apr 25, 2012 11:01 AM

                                  Agree, that's expensive, but it looks like it is variable depending on what your actual needs are, and the amount does not sound outrageous, especially considering your location. They may be worth a call to see what they can do for you. Looks like they only go down to age 4, but who knows with a private event.

                                  As far as not liking your own parameters, how were they decided upon? By you, by your husband, or because you think it's what you HAVE to do to please everyone? Maybe the place to start is to think about what your dream event would be if you weren't trying to fulfill all those needs, then work back from there.

                                  1. re: centralpadiner
                                    chowser Apr 25, 2012 11:15 AM

                                    Good questions. It's not really about MY dream event but what my husband would like, which would also be to make sure there's something for his family since they'll be the bulk of it. My dream event would be no event (haha, can I work back from there?).

                                    I looked and it seems there's a 25 person limit to that restaurant for events. I agree that the price isn't bad per person as that type of event goes. It's that the total would be a huge amount which I should have added as another parameter. With two kids heading to college soon, we don't have unlimited funds. If I just bite the bullet, I could do the weekend at a rental house for half, plus it would be a longer, more enjoyable time for most of the attendees.

                          2. iluvcookies Apr 25, 2012 07:15 AM

                            I was at a baptism celebration recently with about 40 adults and 15 kids, most under 10 years old. The hosts prepared a separate children's table on one side of the room and had a kid's menu, crafts and an entertainer/sitter for them. Everyone was part of the party and a few of the adults even joined in for some of the kid's entertainment.There was plenty of interaction between kids and parents, but the adults got to eat and drink in peace. Everyone had a great time.

                            I would be surprised if any venue you did chose wouldn't be agreeable to this. And if your mother-in-law wants to be around the kids, well, they are all right there at their own table, having a great time.

                            3 Replies
                            1. re: iluvcookies
                              cheesecake17 Apr 25, 2012 08:18 AM

                              I've been to parties where kids tables with activities worked out really well. At one party the host hired a few teenage girls to help the kids with arts and crafts. They also helped the younger ones eat dinner, and took the kids on (frequent) bathroom breaks.

                              1. re: iluvcookies
                                chowser Apr 25, 2012 08:44 AM

                                Any ideas on what to do, in this case, that's more creative than hiring a caterer? Our standard family thing is eating at a restaurant, but I wanted something different.

                                1. re: chowser
                                  iluvcookies Apr 25, 2012 04:13 PM

                                  What about a participatory meal for the adults, like a hot pot, while the kids are being entertained? Or, can you hire a hibachi chef, one that will do a performance of the meal prep?

                              2. p
                                Puffin3 Apr 25, 2012 11:29 AM

                                Just throwing out ideas: Make list of the most important meals he's had in his life. Not necessarily the best. Just memories of places and tastes. The ones he's always reminding every one about. Have the party were he's most comfortable.....likely at home. If you've got the money get on a jet and take him to the place where he's always talking about. Take lots of vids/snaps burn them on to a bunch of disks and put on a 'tail gate' party and hand the disks out showing what a great time you guys had. BTW, if you're going to Sanremo how about taking me along?

                                2 Replies
                                1. re: Puffin3
                                  tonifi Apr 25, 2012 11:53 AM

                                  For my husband's fiftieth we did a 'time in a bottle' party. Part of this was to avoid the whole 'what to give the birthday boy' mess, which seems to result in far too many over-the-hill tee shirts and joke canes. The invitations requested that each guest bring a bottle of something he might like, and informed them that his three favorite things in bottles are scotch, beer, and Fresca. Some of his clients and very good friends (and his wife!) brought him very nice bottles of scotch...lots of people brought him a big bottle or six-pack of a craft beer, and our anti-drinking friends (okay, relatives...we don't have any non-drinking friends) brought him Fresca and fancy root beer. I had tubs of ice with bottles of beer & soda & sparkling water, and for the food I bought a zillion different kinds of bread & rolls( I called Companion bakehouse here in St. Louis and told them what I was doing and they had a couple bags of variety breads waiting for me that morning) and did a HUGE pork shoulder, a couple of eye-of-round roasts, a turkey breast, and a side of salmon on the grill. Some friends brought salads, (pasta salad, green salad, fruit salads...)and we bought a cake. We did this at the house, but since all your meats are in hunks that can be foil-wrapped & shredded or sliced once you arrive at your destination, you can easily transport everything if you find a venue you like. Hunks o' meat are pricey, (find a friend who has a Sam's or Costco membership or talk to your butcher) but easy to cook ahead of time & rewarm, and everyone gets kind of excited in a caveman kind of way when you set out a platter of pulled pork or sliced roast beef. I should have made two sides of salmon, there was fighting over that...(and no, we don't have a lot of vegetarian friends...the one that attended had lots of salads to choose from, anyway...and I DID warn her!)

                                  1. re: tonifi
                                    chowser Apr 25, 2012 02:28 PM

                                    These are both good ideas to add on to whatever we decide to do. LOL, the jetting off somewhere sounds great. I'd be VERY excited about planning that one--"Oh, and honey? Puffin3 will be joining us..." The bring a bottle is awesome, too.

                                2. i
                                  INDIANRIVERFL Apr 25, 2012 12:42 PM

                                  You may want to ask the birthday boy what he would like to do.

                                  My SIL found out that not only was it my birthday, but my 50th. So she decided to call everybody over to our house that day to celebrate. All I wanted was for my daughter to shuck a bushel of oysters and I would sip Maker's Mark from tiny shot glasses. As usual.

                                  Rather than cook for 50 to 100 friends and their friends, (I heard the phrase the more the merrier, used on every call) I ran next door to dear friends and they lied about my whereabouts. We drank rum and munchies out of the freezer for the rest of the day, and I slept on the couch.

                                  It is not a party if you have to do the work. Especially if you have the equivilent of planning the invasion of Iraq. I am sincerely impressed by your caring nature. I trust he has found a pedestal high enough for you.

                                  8 Replies
                                  1. re: INDIANRIVERFL
                                    chowser Apr 25, 2012 02:31 PM

                                    I asked, a few times. "I don't care what we do..." but when I suggest something, "Oh, but not that..." I"m not sure that I'm that caring, if you could hear some of the thoughts I have. This discussion has been really helpful, even if I don't decide what to do yet--it's still months off but I wanted to get planning. My best idea yet was to have it at a heated driving range, that has a mini golf course, and rent an event room and have it catered since my husband loves golfing and food. My husband's response was that his parents wouldn't enjoy that. So, I'm tasked with finding something that suits three generations...

                                    1. re: chowser
                                      iluvcookies Apr 25, 2012 04:17 PM

                                      Just remember, it's HIS birthday. Yes, his parents were there when it happened, but I'm sure they get their own birthday parties.

                                      1. re: iluvcookies
                                        chowser Apr 25, 2012 05:05 PM

                                        I think they'd be fine with it. They can watch the grandchildren play miniature golf and hang out in the room and eat. My husband is the one who is concerned and since it's his party, he gets the veto. Sometimes unfortunately.

                                        1. re: chowser
                                          Puffin3 Apr 26, 2012 06:44 AM

                                          Send him to a weekend 'golf camp'. You check into a spa for the weekend. "Hello honey, happy happy birthday! How's your golf game coming? Are you eating enough? That's nice." Click

                                          1. re: chowser
                                            LaLa Jun 5, 2012 07:25 PM

                                            i swear it sounds like he is not interested

                                            1. re: LaLa
                                              chowser Jun 5, 2012 07:28 PM

                                              He doesn't want to inconvenience everyone, I think as I play arm chair psychologist. He did the same for his 40th and then changed his mind less than a week before. I ended up running all over to pull something together. FWIW, his first response normally is no and then he reconsiders.

                                              1. re: chowser
                                                LaLa Jun 5, 2012 07:29 PM


                                                1. re: LaLa
                                                  chowser Jun 5, 2012 07:31 PM


                                    2. b
                                      bythebay Jun 1, 2012 05:34 PM

                                      Rent a place and have a potluck, assigning each family to one of his favorite dishes to bring? You may not want to ask guests to have to bring food but if you don't mind that it could be a fun way to involve everyone.

                                      2 Replies
                                      1. re: bythebay
                                        chowser Jun 2, 2012 03:57 AM

                                        Good idea, but we do that for regular get togethers. And, most of them don't cook anything that would be my husband's favorite--although, I'm guessing most of his favorites would be his mom's cooking. LOL, I could just have it at her house and let her cook!

                                        1. re: chowser
                                          bythebay Jun 2, 2012 09:07 PM

                                          You could assign each one a recipe and print up a recipe book with all his favorites and have each person write a note on the one they made for him?

                                      2. jackrabbitfreedom Jun 3, 2012 08:23 AM

                                        You could have your hubbie choose favorite fast food entree, sides, drinks, desserts, etc.:. After taking your husband's "perfect meal" order, go to each restaurant and pick up each item. You can buy for the whole party and then everyone gets to experience your husbands "PERFECT MEAL".


                                        3 Replies
                                        1. re: jackrabbitfreedom
                                          chowser Jun 3, 2012 08:28 AM

                                          Genius. My husband loves fast food, I never get it. I can order up and ask people to swing by and pick something up. He'd be in 7th heaven, though I'd better up the health insurance for something like this. This would be super easy, cheaper than catering. Now to find a good venue.

                                          1. re: chowser
                                            jackrabbitfreedom Jun 3, 2012 09:39 AM

                                            I'm glad you liked the idea! :-) My friends and I used to make "perfect meals" back in highschool, it was about as much fun as food can be. Hope you have a great party!

                                          2. re: jackrabbitfreedom
                                            bythebay Jun 4, 2012 03:25 AM

                                            What a good idea!

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