Holiday buffet help & What is the difference between frutti di mare & seafood fra diavolo?

[MsBees]

Hi all, I really could use your expert advice, but first a little background. I apologize in advance for the length of this post ☺.

Our college age sons attend and live in the dorms of a University in our town. Our senior has often brought home his college friends for dinners, parties, etc. These kids have become part of our family. For the past few years he has hosted a sit down holiday party at our home for about 18 friends. We also would put out a live large tabletop tree for them to decorate. Since this is our seniors last year of school he wanted to include more friends. So instead of a sit down meal it will now be a buffet for about 40 people. We still will continue with putting a small live tree out for them to decorate but this year we will also include putting out our ornaments for them to help decorate our large tree. With this party I’ve decided I want to start a new tradition in our family and serve a combination of all our families’ traditional Holiday foods. My husband is Jewish so we celebrate Hanukkah with latkes, homemade applesauce and other fried foods. And I remember very fondly celebrating Christmas Eve at my parents/grand parents house with my large Italian American family and the feast of 7 fishes. One of my very big problems in combining our traditions is that my husband is severely allergic to seafood. I do not cook fish when he is home. The only fish I typically serve when he is present is lox and caviar. He grew up in a house where his parents cooked a lot of fish so it isn’t that he can’t be around fish it is just that he doesn’t like it in his house. But I’ve decided since I love seafood he can deal with my making it part of a buffet menu once a year. The only things that I know would truly bother his allergies, besides eating it, is the frying of fish and dealing with shells.

Here is the beginning of our menu with some note and questions. (anything with a question mark is something I’m not sure if I am serving.

Beverages – Almost everyone is 21 and those who aren’t do not drink. All the kids that come here know I am a stickler about designated drivers.
-asst sparkling waters with citrus wedges
-asst soda
-Seasonal sparkling wine cocktail ( does anyone have a favorite for the Holiday’s)
-Seasonal Holiday cocktail (does anyone have a favorite for the Holiday’s I can make in batches? Not a punch)
-Beer & wine (not our responsibility)

Hors D Oeuvres - The largest portions of food will be on the dining room table but smaller plates will be spread through out the house.
- Crudités & hummus
- Cheese & crackers
- Nuts
- Lacy Potato Latkes, Applesauce, Sour cream
- ?Lox (Could be counted as part of the 7 fishes. But I don’t think Lox is necessary with this group)
- ?Trader Joes Parmesan Pupps ( I want to serve a meat and my son suggested these)
- ?shrimp cocktail (Could be counted as part of the 7 fishes. My son associates shrimp cocktail with Christmas Eve but the shrimp tails could be problem because of Hubby. )

Main Course – When I serve the main course the crudités, cheese and crackers & nuts will remain through out the house. Should I also leave them on the dining room table?
-A creamy, bacon maybe chicken pasta ( The kids who come here love a roasted garlic, bacon mac- and-cheese that I make . But I will be using the oven for the latkes so don’t want to bake this mac-and-cheese. Also my younger son likes a creamy chicken bacon carbonarra I make. I may combine the two recipes. )
- Seafood Fra Diavolo ( This dish is one of my biggest concerns and hopes for success. As I already said I typically don’t cook fish but I really would like to continue my families 7 fish tradition. I think by putting it all in this one dish is a way for me to do that. I do have a few questions. First what is the difference between Fra Diavolo and Frutti Di Mare? If possible, and if I don’t serve the shrimp as a hors d oeuvres, I would like to include all 7 fishes in this one dish. Is there a way to serve this with out the shells that you would typically see in a dish like this? I know that spaghetti or linguini is normally served with this but I’m thinking of using penni. Does anyone have a favorite recipe for a crowd?
-Green Salad
-Bread
-?Basil garlic oil foccacia

Dessert – The main course and crudités will be put away but I will still leave out the cheese and crackers, and nuts.
-fruit- to serve with the cheese
-Assorted lindt chocolates
-peppermint bark
-candy canes
-?andes mints ( or andes mint brownies)
-Pizzelles
-crispella (fried knots)
-?tiramisu(Does anyone have a great recipe for a crowd)
-?gingerbread cookie, dark chocolate, mint marshmallow smores
-?cannoli (hubby requested these but it seems like an awfully big production for 40 people.)
-Coffee
-tea
-Hot chocolate (with and without peppermint schnapps)

Hopefully our freshman son will continue the tradition of gracing our home with his college friends.

Thanks in advance for all your help.

[MsBees]

::::sigh::: well the menu is changing as we speak. My son shattered a section of his finger and had to have a rod and three screws put in the second week of November. It's healing well, but slowly and even though he says he can help I don't want him lifting a lot of dishes etc. And because of Hubbies allergies he won't touch any dishes that have had fish on them. So the fra diavolo is out :(

Beverages
-asst sparkling waters with citrus wedges
-asst soda
-Seasonal sparkling wine cocktail
-Seasonal Holiday cocktail
-Beer & wine (not our responsibility)

Hors D Oeuvres
- Crudités & hummus
- Cheese & crackers
- assorted meats
- Nuts
- Lacy Potato Latkes, Applesauce, Sour cream, lox (Since my sons friends love and are looking forward to these they will be the most important part of the appetizer. But they also are going to another party from here and don't want to smell of latkes. I don't blame them. So I will be making these ahead and reheating. I'm still trying to decide on the best method to do this.)

Main Course –
-Baked mac and cheese with roasted garlic and bacon ( This is another of my sons and his friends favorite dishes. My son would prefer that I bake this but sinceI have only one oven I'm still uncertain whether I will bake or just toss the sauce with pasta and sprinkle the toasted bread crumbs on top)
-chicken (I'm unsure what to do. Some thoughts have been; Food networks Chicken, sausage and peppers. I've made this before and it is delicious and can look festive with red and green pepper. Since it is already cut into bite size pieces you can eat with just a fork. It also could be made ahead and reheated. I'm just unsure if these kids like peppers.The other thought was italian style chicken fingers. These also could be made ahead and reheated. But they would be more finger food. The chicken fingers may be more up these kids alley.)
-?roasted shrimp with herbs and lemon (I'm still out on this one. My son loves shrimp, as do I and it could be made without tails so no shells to bother hubby)
-Green Salad
-Bread

Dessert – The main course and crudités will be put away but I will still leave out the cheese and crackers, and nuts.
-fruit- to serve with the cheese
-Assorted lindt chocolates
-peppermint bark
-candy canes
-andes mints
-Pizzelles
-crispella (fried knots)
-Coffee
-tea
-Hot chocolate (with and without peppermint schnapps)

I'm going to call today about renting plates etc and may go that route so there will be less clean up for me.

As I said this menu is still changing because of less help in the kitchen. But almost all of it can be made ahead and reheated.

Again, I would like to thank everyone for their advise and contributions.

[greygarious]

How about Chicken Marbella? It can be made ahead and is good reheated, room temp, or even cold. Normally it would be done with bone-in parts but in this instance, boneless or even boneless/skinless chicken thighs would be easier. Skinless is also preferable if the CM is not served hot. The sauce is wonderful so serve it over rice, to soak it all up.

[ErnieD]

I think your menu looks delicious. People will find a way to eat the main course, given that your son wants to do a full dinner menu. I think popcorn goes really well with Christmas, that might worth including in the snacks you have stationed throughout the house. You can season it up any way-I love it with garam masala and a little sugar, or EVOO, Italian seasoning, and garlic salt. You could certainly do some holidayish spices like cinnamon, nutmeg, cardamom. Spiced nuts could be a good inclusion too. I love the crudite and hummos-people tend to love those and you can leave them out the whole evening without any food safety issues.

For the cocktail-this may be too basic but Cape Codders usually go over well, and couldn't be any easier. They look festive if you add a lime wedge to each cup. They're also nice because they're one of the few cocktails (to me) that taste fine when made a little weaker. It sounds like you have the driving situation under control, but particularly at a holiday gathering people often like to feel they want to be "indulgent" and have that extra cocktail, so it's nice to offer something that won't land your guests under the table :)

[MsBees]

Thanks Ernie. That's a great idea about popcorn. I'll run it by my son.

Another great suggestion. I could mix the cape codders up in a pitcher to make sure they remained weak and the guest could just pour over ice and add their lime.

Thanks again :)

[hotoynoodle]

you can do a cold fruitti di mare, with poached or ceviche style seafood, including calamari, shrimp, a whitefish, scallops, mussels, etc. this can be done ahead, and served with a simple oil/vinegar type dressing. cook everything the day before, bag separately to store overnight and dress right before serving. shells are long gone out of the house. this won't take up a burner or oven-space the day of your party.

you can have a "station" with the lox, latkes, caviar, sour cream, apple sauce, etc. and maybe small buckwheat blini. again, make those and the latkes ahead and just reheat. doing them a la minute will drive you bat sh*t.

there is no need to make 2 pastas. can your creamy pasta go in a crockpot, or do you have a chafing dish for service?

rather than a green salad, consider something chopped, like cukes, scallions, tomatoes, avocado and maybe cress, with some pomegranate seeds or carrot for color.. small bits are way easier to eat while standing instead of dealing with lettuce leaves.

since you are serving crackers and bread as starters, plus pasta as a main, you don't need still more bread or focaccia with your main. skip it.

you have pork and fish. any thoughts on maybe a chicken dish? small drumsticks, marinated with lemon and yogurt are always a big hit and easy to manage.

i'd add some fruit to the desserts too, for those who don't want pastry or chocolate.

warm spiced cider, spiked or not, can be kept going in the crockpot. i like nantucket reds as holiday sparkler: just sparkling wine and a splash of cran juice. not too sweet, nor too boozy.

[LaLa]

The only concern I have for your mains is the ability to eat while mingling.

[MsBees]

I agree. The menu continues to change. My issue is that my son wants a full blown dinner menu not just hors d'oeuvres. :::shrug::::

[greygarious]

Many of these dishes are not conducive to eating "on the hoof". Rather than using plates, I'd suggest buying (at a restaurant supply store) or renting a couple of hundred small, perhaps disposable, bowls. Or maybe those shallow rectangular takeout containers, the kind that are usually black plastic with clear lids. They do come in white, too, which isn't festive either but is better than black. You COULD adorn the white ones with holiday stickers like metallic stars or holly. Way less chance of spilling and dripping than with flat plates.

I do think you need to pare down your choices unless you have many hands to help prepare and replenish. I'm sure you know that latkes have a very short half-life and there's nothing sadder than a soggy one. Unless you will have someone doing nothing but standing at the stove frying them up a la minute, you'll need to make tiny ones in advance and have an oven devoted to re-crisping them. Even, then, nobody will think they are just-made. Perhaps you should omit them.

How about a seafood chowder - either creamy or tomato-style - for the 7 fishes? I would lean away from two pasta dishes as the main course choices. With all your apps, a hearty soup can stand in as a main course.

[MsBees]

Interesting idea about the plastic containers. I never would have thought of that. Normally I use those to send the boys home with leftovers :)

There will be enough people here to help replenish and I'm not shy to ask. I've considered hiring help but I'm thinking we may be able to handle it. Also the latke are a very important part of the evening. My sons core group of 9 friends are Jewish and they look forward to latkes. But since no one likes to smell of latke I have to make them ahead and will re-crisp them in the oven. I'm still testing best methods to do this.

Because of my sons hand I have been reworking the menu. The seven fish theme will have to wait for another year :( . But I am determined to eventually do this with the latkes being the main app and the fra diavolo being the star of the main course.

I've posted my ever changing menu below.

Thanks for all your thoughtful advice. :)

[small h]

<what is the difference between Fra Diavolo and Frutti Di Mare?>

Frutti di mare just means seafood - fruits of the sea. Fra Diavolo sauce is spicy, and usually tomato-based.

[MsBees]

Thank you small h :)

[greygarious]

A nice Italian restaurant here offers frutti di mare with a choice of marinara, diavolo, or alfredo sauce. My favorite is a combination of marinara and alfredo, which they will do if asked.