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Nov 8, 2011 07:42 AM

tips for fixing broken tastebuds caused by a broken heart?

I became passionate about food and cooking with my husband. Now that we have ended, I'm not inspired to cook, and not even inspired to taste. this is the most annoying side effect of my broken heart.
I know in time, I will heal, but it's kind of a catch 22: enjoying food will make me feel better, thus enjoying food more, which will be something to focus my attention on, and the healthy cycle continues...if only I can get it started.

Anyone have ideas on how I could start enjoying food again?

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  1. Is there a food or restaurant you always wanted to try, but didn't while you were married? If so, that's where I would start. Make a fresh, new food memory.

    1. Italian food, ice cream, and lots of'll be right as rain in no time.

      1. Give it time, stay hydrated. Find out what YOU want.

        1. Well, I don't know how recent this breakup has been, but give yourself some time. I don't see any point in trying to rush this, as I don't think you can "force" enjoyment of anything -- it has to come natural.

          If your mind is occupied with sad things it might be hard to focus on tastiness. That said -- how about making your personal favorite dish? Maybe it's even something your ex actively disliked which is why you couldn't or didn't make it as frequently as you would have liked to?

          Try making something you truly love to eat (or go out and get it somewhere), maybe that'll kick-start your taste buds again.

          But I don't think you can rush it.

          5 Replies
          1. re: linguafood

            I was actually a little touched by this post, because of the love of food and the power it holds. My mother (I know everyone says this) was hands down the best cook I ever saw. Friends of mine would laugh that I was having leg of lamb for the second time in a month or Paella on a weeknight, because my mother didn't have to work that day. She was constantly making gourmet quality meals nearly every day of the week. It soured me on restaurants and when she passed, it soured me on a lot of foods other than those that were standbys.

            As time has passed this hasn't changed much, but I recently had a relationship that, while short lived, had a food connection. Chinese Wednesdays became a little tradition and while the relationship ended quickly, I have maintained the ritual. Here's my spin on it and why it works. It reminds me of a happier time. It also is part of the healing process and the comical yest best part...I order the same amount of food and I don't have to share. Who says gluttony is bad?

            1. re: jhopp217

              Thank you to everyone who has responded.
              And thank you for reminding me that this takes time! I just want to be good to myself and am getting frustrated at my slowness (because I could've had 15 potential meals by now, plus snacks, and nothing has been interesting.) Thanks, rockandroller, for reminding me that I can just accept that for now, food doesn't have to be enjoyable.

              Thanks jhopp for sharing how keeping some shared traditions may not be such a bad thing, everyone's different I guess. We didn't have any sort of routine whatsoever.

              The most revelational tip was the one to try out new recipes. I had never used a recipe in my life, even though I have tons of cook books! they are mostly there for inspiration. I did start to flip through a book a couple of days ago, things that used to make my heart beat faster didn't inspire me at all this time, so I closed it. Funny as it sounds, it NEVER occurred to me to use a book the way it was meant to be used--follow a recipe, duh! I'll pick a simple one first!

              1. re: kerosundae

                For fun, look through a cookbook like Bourdain's Les Halles one. His side commentary makes it really funny and worth reading. Or any jamie oliver cookbook. He is always so damned excited about whatever he's doing that it's inspiring. I really like Jamie's Italy, it's one of my fave cookbooks.

                1. re: rockandroller1

                  Jamie's Italy is a good read...seriously, it's more fun to read it than to use it as a cookbook

              2. re: jhopp217

                try attending a few church suppers or fire house suppers... sometimes these are not necessarily chow-worthy but they may provide the camaraderie at table that is so missing when we're eating alone! You may even develop a friend or two with whom to go to other events (either gender). God's blessings to you in your healing!

            2. I'm sorry about your broken heart, and I think it's brave of you to ask for ideas here.
              It sounds to me like at least part of what you miss is the shared experience of cooking and eating. When you are ready to cook, why not get some friends into your kitchen to make dinner together. You can try completely new dishes that you don't associate with your ex. If your friends don't like to cook, think about joining in here on the Cookbook of the Month or the What's for Dinner Threads. The COTM might be particularly useful, as we all cook out of the same book together, so you always find fun dishes beyond your zone of familiarity. I'm sure once you can take some enjoyment in cooking along with others, your taste buds will bloom again. Good luck!