Chowhound cliches

[rusty_s]

I need to start this by saying that I love Chowhound. I have found some brilliant recipes and some hidden restaurant gems. I respect the reviews here more than the ones I read anywhere else.
However, after years of reading posts, there are a few things that happen so often, it's both amusing and irritating.

(1) "Hi, New City people! I just moved here from Old City [in a completely different part of the US]! Where can I find really good/authentic [regional specialty for which Old City is known]?" Bonus points if the 'hound expresses irritation at the New City's restaurant's lack of proficiency in making Old City's regional specialty food. I.e., "The allegedly Maryland-style crabcakes in Colorado Springs were NOT up to my standards!!"

(2) Whenever someone asks about where to find a specific prepared food, someone inevitably tells them that they can make it themselves. I.e., "Which store has the best selection of stilton?" "You know, with a little perserverance, you can learn to make all kinds of cheeses yourself, and will find that the commercially prepared versions pale in comparison."

Anyone have anything to add?

[The Chowhound Team]

We can't seem to keep the personal attacks and the off-topic conversation out of this thread, despite a specific request that people let that sub-thread go, so, unfortunately, here's one final cliche:

This thread seems to have run its course. We're going to lock it now.

[KaimukiMan]

ya know we tease each other a lot, and some of the discussion does get vicious, but all in all it is still a worthwhile place to discuss food, far more relevant and 'educated' than one or two other sites that i'm not gonna name (because we do a lot of complaining and comparing without naming here in chowhound) but you all know what site i mean.

at the same time, when I came clean about using a microwave, washing my cast iron, and cooking with cream of mushroom soup (cowering in fear, now approaching 500 posts) the responses, stories and confessions were almost universally heartfelt, compassionate, and almost without exception there was no name calling, excessive cattiness, or mean spirited replies.

Is chow/chowhound what it was 4 years ago when I was first introduced to it? Nope. Is that necessarily a bad thing? Nope. Am I looking forward to the undoubtedly entertaining, enlightening, and downright bizarre postings that the holiday season always bring? Yep.

Happy Holidays!

[HillJ]

Right there with you K-Man. Bring on the holidays! We all could use a little more cheer!
Laughter is the best medicine.

[sunshine842]

are any of US the same as we were 4 years ago? Nope, not me...Welcome to growth and change and life.

[mamachef]

Mahalo for that, K-man. Couldn't have said it better or more succinctly.
Aloha,
Me

[Marge]

Does anyone know if Joe's Restaurant is open this Sunday? If so, will I be able to get a reservation for 7 PM? Thanks, hounds!

[roxlet]

You should never go to Joe's on Sunday. For the most authentic experience, the best time to go is Thursday nights after 10:39.

[hill food]

and ask for the 'secret' menu in Esperanto. they'll be cagey and try to deny its existence, persevere.

[buttertart]

If they really like you, they'll recite it to you sotto voce. And give you free after-dinner drinks and a tour of the kitchen. And an autographed cookbook. And a limousine ride home. And food enough to last you for the next week.

[Duppie]

"I was invited to Joe's niece first communion feast and there were quite a few of us regulars there but had to leave before they started the black truffle tasting...besides
I'm allergic".

[meatn3]

Are you really allergic or just "I don't like it" allergic?

[hill food]

once they recited it as a Gregorian chant for the next table. they must have been regulars.

[sunshine842]

that's all you got?

I got all that AND Joe sent his mom over to heat up the leftover from the doggie bag.

[roxlet]

lol. You ARE special!

[viperlush]

Joe's suck, don't bother going. I had reservations for 6 @ 7 pm last Friday. We arrived at 7:15 and the hostess wouldn't seat us because "our party wasn't complete". When we were finally seating the waitress gave us an attitude because BF is "allergic" to mashed potatoes and wanted to substitute french fries w/truffles. Can you believe they charged us for that substitution! Don't get me started about the lighting. It was too dark for me to take pictures of all the courses for my blog.

[Marge]

They made you wait for your table when you were already late for your reservation? Wow, did they at least comp you a round of drinks and dessert?

[hill food]

sorry but properly the wording, verb-noun agreement is "Joe's suckS"

hear the difference?

[roxlet]

I just had the most amazing chocolate chip cookie! It was completely different than anything I've ever had. Does anyone have a recipe for this cookie? TIA

[paulj]

Yes, but it will cost you $250.

[meatn3]

I really don't understand all the discussion.

As I posted before, all the good tips are on my blog "I'm A Special Snowflake Eating"!

Just go there!

I just went to a place where they gave chopsticks instead of forks!!!!

I have pictures too!

[mlou72]

Do you know where I can buy a case of sporks? I see you posted this 6 years ago but I'm really hoping you'll answer me within the hour because I have to make my lunch and can't eat it without a spork!!

[meatn3]

I'm sorry you missed lunch.

Read all about my adventures with chopsticks on my blog "I'm A Special Snowflake Eating"!!!

Sporks are so 6 years ago....

[kevin47]

OP: Staying downtown with a couple of coworkers, without a car. Looking for a great steak and great service. Price not a factor, but I only have a short window, since we're catching a show. Any recommendations?

P#1 - Actually, if I were you, I'd forget the steak and head to (x restaurant), it's 20 miles away, but only requires a few bus transfers, and they serve the best korean tacos. They only do take out, and sometimes they close early on Thursdays, and when they are open, the wait can be well over an hour, but you won't be disappointed.

P#2 - If you're willing to walk a few miles, there's a great donut shop. Not to be missed!

P#3 - I'm a vegetarian, so I don't eat steak, but there's a great Thai restaurant two blocks away. Great curry mock duck.

[hill food]

btw I know that Korean taco place - it moved somewhere nearby, there's no sign at the new location and the phone is unlisted, but SO worth it.

[buttertart]

I love this thread and I love you guys. I really, really do.

[Duppie]

"Virtual group hug?"

[chowser]

Do you really love everyone, or is this another cliche?;-)

[buttertart]

Almost everyone.

[chowser]

Me, too--as cliche as it is.

[paulj]

I just made xxx and was terrible disappointed. Does anyone have a better recipe?

[hill food]

xxx? what is that, boom boom?

[ChristinaMason]

hehehehe. nice one.

[nsxtasy]

>> I just made xxx and was terrible disappointed. Does anyone have a better recipe?

Yes.

[babette feasts]

...but with the magical elves and their editing, none of us has any idea what really happened or who these people really are or what anything tasted like...

Yet we'll still pick each episode apart for days.

[chowser]

LOL. We must over-analyze every action/reaction to determine whether a person is nice, kind to his mom, or would pull the wings off of flies. And, don't forget the armchair quarterbacking because I'm sure it's just as easy doing a challenge for real under pressure as it is sitting at home and discussing in the next few days on what would have been a better approach. I might be the queen of armchair quarterbacking.

One more TV related...kwanzaa cake, enough said.

[Marge]

Food, and the enjoyment of it, is a very, very, very serious matter, and there is no room for humor, irony or sarcasm on a message board about the enjoyment of food. I am offended by the tomfoolery going on in this thread, and it makes me sad and hurts my feelings! Moreover, food is to be respected, and the disrespect given to various food in this thread (tomatoes, anyone??) is offensive to me and tomatoes, and makes us sad and hurts our feelings! Rather than ignoring this offensive thread, I am going to, in my capacity as an auxiliary chowhound police officer, report it to the moderators for removal. And if the moderators don't remove it I am leaving chowhound. So there!

[hill food]

well you told us, didn't you? if you love tomatoes so much why don't you just marry them? huh? huh? pomme d'oro lover. love apple canoodler.

[Marge]

Marry a tomato? Ew...just the thought of that makes me gag and throw up in my mouth a little. BTW, how do you pronounce canoodler?

[hill food]

http://www.merriam-webster.com/word-o...

just turn it into a noun.

yeah the wedding bed would make that Spanish festival look like finger painting.

[Veggo]

or afterbirth

[sunshine842]

ewwwww.....lol.....ewwwwww

[hill food]

oh that is SO reported

[mlou72]

Previous threads on seriousness, humor, irony, and enjoyment of food:
http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/802516
http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/769991
http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/804179
http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/375349
http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/271197
http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/804271
http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/790274
http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/582096

Threads found on tomfoolery:
none

And if you'd bothered to search CH for 'tomatoes' you would've found 338 previous discussions that might have already said something almost, but not quite, entirely unlike your post here. I mean, what's the point of making new posts about tomatoes when it's all been said before, and every question has been answered? Anyone new coming to CH should be more than grateful to be able to spend a few hours searching hundreds of threads to make sure they're not making a repeat post. And if you'd bothered to read the CH rules, you'd know it's not acceptable to post about the feelings of tomatoes or project your feelings onto them; the tomatoes can post for themselves!

[ChristinaMason]

hahahhahaaaa. well done.

[HillJ]

What happened to rusty_s (the OP)?

[linguafood]

Maybe he/she is fulfilling the cliche of the OP who disappeared.

[rusty_s]

Sorry. Y'all are awesome. Please keep up the good work.

[roxlet]

This thread should be required reading for everyone who posts on Chowhound!

[BobB]

It wouldn't help - human nature being what it is, everyone will see other's faults in this but never recognize their own.

[sueatmo]

Bingo!

[HillJ]

Just another CH cliche BobB. Come on we all do these things of one variety or another. Clearly a dose of venting doesn't harm the enjoyment. Even CH's who said they found this thread too much are contributing to it. Cliche abounds here. So what. No harm in healthy venting.

[Jefaisfood]

OP: "I'm looking for a good gazpacho recipe, I will make whatever one is most convenient to what I have right now, and will make no effort to explain what I have besides 'the usual pantry stuff'"

P1: "Why not try Tangentially-Related-Tomato-Dish? It's great because tomatoes are great and I can just tell that you only THINK you want gazpacho, just try this, just once, you'll be hooked for life!"

P2"Why are you doing something so awful to a tomato? It's the most perfect, ideal personification of all that is good on this earth and doing anything but some fleur de sel, extra virgin olive oil, some mozzarella and some basil and maybe some balsamic is acceptable. I would be fine with something rosemary or some sliced onion or maybe dancing girls and a pyramid."

P3: "What are you talking about? All a tomato needs is salt and olive oil to substantiate physically into F--d"

P4: "Hah! Who needs olive oil? I eat them plain!"

P5: "I know! Tomatoes are awesome, I eat them still warm with the breath of mother gaia!"

P6: "That's the only way, except I'm going to insinuate I am even better at worshiping the tomato than you by implying that I water mine with my own tears and perform the appropriate fertility rituals..."

OP: "So, since no one gave me a gazpacho recipe I decided to just google it, and it turned out great... here's the recipe I used..."

P2: "Oh yeah I have to try that!"

P5: "Not while the tomatoes are watching, what will they think of us?"

[hill food]

don't be silly nobody eats tomatoes anymore

[goodhealthgourmet]

Sigh. If you had bothered to read the thread someone posted about vegan, gluten-free, tomato-free pizza the other day you would know that tomatoes are once again worth eating now that I've created the best. hybrid. ever. see below for a link to the thread. and a link to my blog. and a link to my Kodak Gallery with a ton of pictures of the tomatoes, and me with the tomatoes, and my dog with the tomatoes.

[hill food]

ghg, you foochebag. those photos are clearly doctored and the thread you link to is over 6 years old and the OP is a notorious idiot that should be banned but since the mods are nazi SOBs (as RWO illustrated with such eloquence) whose only purpose is to alienate and repel that's not going to happen.

[chowser]

Then, three years later...

P7: I make gazpacho with chickpeas instead of tomatoes. It was great! Here's my blog on it..."

And, then proceeds to bump up every thread ever in existence on CH and post the same thing on each one.

Coming back to...

P8: "It's not gazpacho if it doesn't have tomatoes."

P9: "Who's to define what gazpacho is and isn't? Are we talked about 5th century gazpacho, 8th century gazpacho, or 2011 gazpacho?"

P10: "The history of gazpacho is...<On and on w/ numerous links>>"

P11: "You all do realize this thread is 3 years old and the OP's never come back again."

P12:"I"ve been looking FOREVER for a recipe for gazpacchio and can't wait to try this!"

P13: "It's not spelled gazpacchio, it's gazpacho."

P14: "I hate when people do that. Just like marcapone!"

P15: "That drives me crazy. What's up with chipolte???"

P16-300: discussion on misspellings, mispronunciations and whether the newest misspelling is actually the correct spelling at this point

[goodhealthgourmet]

chowser, this made me howl - Mom came in from the other room to find out what in the world was so funny. i really needed a good laugh this morning, so thanks for that :)

[rworange]

>>> And, then proceeds to bump up every thread ever in existence on CH and post the same thing on each one.

First, I find this thread incredibly mean spirited. If I was a new poster and read it I would be too intimidated to post for fear of spelling errors, asking a dumb question, being singled out (I'm surprised the posts here specifically pointing out posters aren't deleted). This thread breaks every rule in the FAQ.

I mean if the tip is good, who should care about the rest. Some of the best tips I've had came from the posts that piss people off in this thread ... even in the most simplistic question I've usually suprisingly learned something new and sometimes it turns up a great new poster.

Also it pisses me off that inquiries about food get a handful of responses and junk like this get near to 300 replies so far in a few days. Bitching about each other is easy. Reporting about food takes some real effort.

I miss the old comment a thread like this would have had long ago ... Stifle your inner Andy Rooney.

So ... other than one post, I haven't participated.

BUT ... you got to me chowser ... the people who have to bump up EVERY single thread ever in existance since the site started. Often it is the sign of a shill, but sometimes someone who wants to be ... thorough.

As bad as people who bump up the 10,000 post thread and start with "I haven't read this whole thread (or probably any of it including the OP) but has anyone tried canned peaches with cottage cheese ... ok ... the cottage cheese thread is the bane of my existance on Chowhound. When it reached a few hundred posts I was just waiting for the peach comment ... and someone didn't disappoint.

I am expecting someone will repeat it a few thousand more posts from now.

[linguafood]

Cheeses H. Lighten up. I think this thread is/was a light-hearted way of airing some grievances in a humorous way. Tongue in cheek.

No poster has been attacked personally, by name -- or I have missed something significantly.

Some posters may have been implied, but.... really, is it THAT offensive? I thought it was all in good fun.

PS: You do realize that, by posting again, this thread will keep pissing you off, b/c it will continue to show up in your profile. Well done?

[rworange]

See cliche #5 in my first post

http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/8143...

>>> PS: You do realize that, by posting again, this thread will keep pissing you off, b/c it will continue to show up in your profile. Well done?

Have I missed a new feature in Chow where you can exclude posts you don't want to participate in anymore.

I knew with that first post that I would see this thread forever in my profile, so adding another isn't going to make a difference.

I just didn't want to participate in bitch-slapping other posters, implied or not, for contributing actual content.

Listen, none of us is being paid to post here. For most of us it is just about a passion for food. So there will be all the sins listed in this thread. I'd pay more attention to how I post if I was doing this professionally. All I want to do is pass along good tips and if that means my usual typos, gaffs, and uninspired writing ... well, I'm not a pro.

So let me throw out some more cliches.

I wanted to love this thread, but it's nothing to write home about.

[chowser]

I think it depends on how you view it. I see myself in some of these cliches and think it's funny. Honestly, I think if someone is going to post on a message board, he/she can't take him/herself too seriously. See, I got in the good grammar so it wouldn't arouse the grammar police. At the same time, I think the grammar police know who they are and can laugh about themselves, too, or so I hope.

I'm not angry at people who do what I've posted, I don't think negatively about it, I'm not pissed off or anything, I'm just commenting on something that frequently happens. IMO, it's no different than commenting that people always face forward in the elevator or face the way a crowd faces. It's not making fun of people who do it. It's just observing that it's done. Maybe you see it differently but there was nothing mean meant in what I said.

But, speaking of being mean spirited, all these hundreds of posts and you choose to attack one thing I said good naturedly? What makes that okay but not for others to make comments about general tendency of posters?

[paulj]

Don't worry about new posters. This thread is in 'site talk', which is open only to seasoned posters. :)

[chowser]

I thought most of these comments were directed toward "seasoned" poster. A good number of what I said were things I have done/do. For the record, I learn a lot from CH who know the history of food and am not making fun of them. I admire that type of diligence. If I've hurt feelings, I apologize because it's not intended. I think of it like a family sitting down and talking about their lovable quirks.

[rworange]

Yes, I share some of the frustrations and think there are some funny comments here.

However, the problem with threads like these, is the same problem with Not About Food. People start taking that to other boards. So some will take it as ok to be the spelling and grammar police and shoo off other posters.

Others will think a question is too dumb and tell people to search or Google.

While people shouldn't be shielding delicate flowers, I've just seen too many new or infrequent posters intimidated by things that as a long time poster I wouldn't blink at. It's nice to let people get their toes wet so they stay around long enough to be seasoned posters.

Damn. The responses are way to polite to my post and almost troll. I was hoping for a little foaming at the mouth by some hounds leading to that ever-popular cliche

"This thread is getting increasingly unfriendly and everything that can be said, has, so we are locking this topic"

That would keep it out of my profile.

[ChristinaMason]

<This thread is in 'site talk', which is open only to seasoned posters. :)>

Really? I didn't realize that. Interesting.

[Jacquilynne]

Though it's mainly of interest to seasoned posters, it's available to everyone, including people who aren't members of Chowhound at all.

[roxlet]

I think it was a joke :)

[Jacquilynne]

I thought it probably was, too, but when it seemed like it might be confusing people, I thought I should clarify.

[buttertart]

Good one, paulj.

[goodhealthgourmet]

Gag. I hate tomatoes. You should try watermelon gazpacho instead.

[Firegoat]

If you hate tomatoes you are wrong.

[mlou72]

I've got a great recipe for pickled watermelon rinds! I don't have it here, it's in my grandmother's old cookbook in my parent's attic and they're in Europe for the summer, but when they get back if I remember and if the critters haven't destroyed it (because we had a racoon infestation, and I could go on for ages about the smell and the mess and the stains on the ceiling!) I'll post the recipe.

[goodhealthgourmet]

oh no, you really shouldn't eat pickled foods - they cause cancer. my boyfriend's sister e-mailed me a pamphlet from this website that her roommate's aunt's dog groomer found while he was trying to Google a recipe for homemade pickles. that stuff is really bad for you. i can post a link to the info if you want to see it.

speaking of dogs and raccoons, i'm thinking of starting my own raw vegan pet food company. anyone have some good recipes i can use?

[roxlet]

hahahaha! wonderful!

[HillJ]

ghg, this is a whole 'nother side of you. hilarious.

[goodhealthgourmet]

after the hellish few months i've had, these days i aim for levity & amusement wherever i can find it just to balance the scales...the fact that you guys are enjoying it happens to be a bonus ;)

FYI i've always been a raging wise-ass, i just try to keep it in check here on CH so as not to offend too many.

[HillJ]

It's the Jersey girl in you (hell, in many of us).

[viperlush]

Speaking of Jersey why do they have their own board but North Dakota doesn't? It's not fair and confusing. Maybe Chowhound needs to start having a board for every state and city.

[HillJ]

ah but right now North D. has all the good paying jobs so it evens out....don't ya think. http://money.cnn.com/2011/09/28/pf/no...
Jersey's in the crapper for the unemployed.

[deet13]

Because in the solipsistic minds of those who run this forum, anyplace in the US that lies outside of New York, Miami, L.A., D.C., San Fran, Boston, Seattle, and their immediate environs simply does not exist.

Thus North Dakota is, and shall remain, a fictional construct.
[/sarcasm]

[Veggo]

Some are the fruit in the Jello, others are just Jello. (apologies to Fargo, too fargone..)

[Duppie]

....cause we're JERSEY baby.... We have always been the de facto annex to NYC so a certain amount of leeway is understood.

[chowser]

That's a good one. I can't believe all these posts later and it's finally come up.

[goodhealthgourmet]

Oh please, any self-respecting Chowhound knows that the only city in this country that really warrants its own food board is *The* City...as in New York City.

[to be followed by a barrage of replies that include the following declarations & rebuttals]

NY has the best pizza the country
- Chicago pizza is better
- New Haven pizza is better.
- The best pizza in the country is at Pizzeria Bianco in Phoenix.
- The endless Totonno's vs DiMora vs Grimaldi's, et al debate
- Hey, San Francisco has great pizza too!

NY has the best bagels
- Montreal bagels are better.
- NY bagels are too big.
- The endless H&H vs Ess-A-Bagel vs Murray's vs Tal, et al debate
- Actually, Bagel Boss on Long Island has the best (followed by a reminder from the Mods that any discussion of places outside the Manhattan city limits should be conducted on the appropriate Outer Borough or NY State board)
- Bagel/flagel/bialy showdown
- Random complaint from a tourist who was disappointed to discover while visiting that NY bagel places don't sell the chocolate chip/pumpkin/blueberry/lavender bagels with cranberry-marshmallow cream cheese that he usually gets from the bagel chain "back home."

Katz's Deli has the best pastrami sandwich in the country.
- Second Avenue Deli is better.
- Carnegie Deli is better.
- You guys are crazy, Langer's in LA is where it's at.

NY Cheesecake is the best
- Junior's vs S&S vs Elaine's et al debate
- I don't like NY style cheesecake, it's too creamy
- Creamy vs dense vs airy vs ricotta vs sour cream debate

NY has the best smoked fish
- Russ & Daughters/Zabar's/Barney Greengrass debate

and so on. and so on. and so on...

[paulj]

Actually NYC is divided into 2 forums - Manhattan and the rest. Wasn't Chowhound originally a NYC forum, growing out of Jim Leff's explorations and writings?

http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/330309

It wasn't too long ago that there was a 'Elsewhere in America' board, though by default is a Hawaii board. Ultimately it is traffic that defines boards, not CH bosses.

[deet13]

Yeah, back in the days of the original website and forum; but that was back when this site was still good...
[/cliche]

And from what I've seen, since I began lurking at this site before CBS bought it, traffic and requests have generally driven the different forums. I was just dying to give a cliched response to a cliched question.

That stated, it doesn't negate the fact that North Dakota does not exist, nor does Hawaii (possibly)...

[paulj]

http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/796303
Where To Eat Around Theodore Roosevelt National Park [Medora/Watford City] North Dakota? (in Great Plains board
)Replies 0 (that's the cliche!)

I used to see occasional Alaska questions on the PNW board. The mods would move them to Elsewhere, and they would languish without replies. If they didn't get moved, some Seattle hound who'd been to Alaska might reply. Now they are left in PNW, but most of the PNW traffic has moved to the Seattle and Portland boards. So they continue to go unanswered.

Most of the Great Plains traffic seems to be for cities like Saint Louis and Kansas. Minneapolis Hounds who might know something about North Dakota have their own board.

[nsxtasy]

>> Most of the Great Plains traffic seems to be for cities like Saint Louis and Kansas. Minneapolis Hounds who might know something about North Dakota have their own board.

The rest of their state (Minnesota) is on a different board anyway (Great Lakes).

[paulj]

So if I wanted to find gourmet BBQ in East Grand Forks I'd have to ask on Great Lakes, but if I was willing to cross the Red River I'd have to use Great Plains?

I've seen similar posting issues in the west. For example Pullman WA (Washington State U) is only 10 miles from Moscow ID (U Idaho). If you want something besides dorm food, do you post on PNW or Mountain States.

Chowhound isn't a good place to seek information of dining options in lightly populated parts of the country. Occasionally you find gems, but more often queries come up empty.

[goodhealthgourmet]

Actually NYC is divided into 2 forums - Manhattan and the rest.
~~~~~~~~~
paul, just because the Mods say something doesn't make it so. the only part of NYC that *matters* is Manhattan - IMO, if you have to cross a bridge to get there, it doesn't count.

[Duppie]

As much as it pains me to say so, I would have to agree. In the 3 moves I have made in New Jersey I always made sure that I was no more that 45 minutes drive to Midtown Manhattan.

[buttertart]

It's as iff we still live in Brooklyn where we are. Faster sometimes into the city than from Bklyn.

[goodhealthgourmet]

@Duppie, you do realize i was kidding, right?

[hill food]

the GHG never kids. this is my faith.

[goodhealthgourmet]

my ex complained that i was too serious...guess who had the last laugh when i walked.

;)

[hill food]

sort of sad that a classic dead-pan is so rarely appreciated (or noticed) anymore

[Duppie]

I wasn't....

[goodhealthgourmet]

ha! fair 'nuf.

[KaimukiMan]

I hate to interrupt ghg when on a roll, but the words "The City" have always referred to San Francisco, reference to any other city is clearly a mistake. Just ask any 3rd or 4th generation sourdough.

and the cliche that hasn't been mentioned is the "why doesn't the OP answer?" (probably because they fear for their lives)

[Seeker19104]

GHG -- Well said. Although I've lived In Philadelphia for over 40 years, the best restaurant food is still to me in NYC. Your citations are accurate.

[hetook]

After asking for help on cooking a particular dish, a poster may add."try googling ...

[nsxtasy]

I'm coming from City "X" to visit and I'd like suggestions on where to find good restaurants serving good "Y" food.

(Note - Of course, Y Food is a specialty in City X. And when we travel, we want to get exactly the kind of food we eat back home. We wouldn't want to try anything we don't eat all the time back home, right?)

[goodhealthgourmet]

Food Y? Ew. I don't know how anyone can eat that stuff. We tried it once in an airport and it was gross. When we travel we only go to civilized destinations where we can be sure to have enough chains to choose from. Olive Garden is our favorite for special occasions, but we'll make do with TGIFriday's if necessary. Breakfast has to be Denny's, and our son will only eat McDonald's and KFC - NOT Popeye's, because that place is nasty, and no BK because he's scared of the "King." Speaking of Mickey D's, has anyone spotted the McRib lately? I'm CRAVING one.

[cowboyardee]

Man, why can't Saskatchewan make a half decent Philly Cheesesteak?

[monavano]

Saskatchewan might have a decent chance of serving a proper Philly Cheesesteak if they spelled it wrote it out correctly like you did. That's half the battle.
If you see a Philly Steak and Cheese on the menu, just skip right on past it!
But seriously, I can see people wanted to stay with the familiar for food and want to know about chains, although you can look that up on any website to get to the nearest OG, or in my in-law's case, the nearest Cracker Barrel.
Sometimes travel to a new place can be stressful for some, and maybe they just want something comfortable for THEM.

[viperlush]

<But seriously, I can see people wanted to stay with the familiar for food and want to know about chains, although you can look that up on any website to get to the nearest OG, or in my in-law's case, the nearest Cracker Barrel.>

Why use the internet? Cracker Barrel has a road map w/all their locations on it. I keep that bad boy in my car w/all the other maps.

[monavano]

I might have to get my in-laws that map! Just brilliant.
I use my smartphone and oh hell, I know I may be asked to turn in my CH card, but heaven help me, I miss my WaWa's and when I'm in the NE region, I'll use my app to find one.
Mostly for a soda and bathroom, but sometimes for a hoagie.

[meatn3]

Where can I find fresh off the boat Gulf shrimp in Saskatchewan? They have to be fresh off the boat, 'cos I grew up on the coast and I know seafood!

[Duppie]

"I'm in Paris on business and need to find an authentic Mexican Restaurant serving corn smut mole with only the freshest home made blue corn tortillas but please only in the 1'st Arrondissement because that's where my hotel is located and I hear that there are just too many pick pockets in the Metro"...

[ChristinaMason]

good one!

[sunshine842]

Dude, you are SO screwed....
;)

[Marge]

What is your least favorite commercially prepared food item that many other people liked, that has been discontinued for years now, so even if you liked it, which you didn't, but even if you did, you can't get it anymore?

[buttertart]

Another zinger, Marge.

[roxlet]

Good one!

[sasha1]

Until I started reading CH, I never ever "met" so many people who moaned so ecstatically over eating tripe, innards, offal, pigs snouts, rats tails, monkeys eyes, livers of all manner of beast, and bat wings!

With a side of kimchee or a squirt of sriracha of course.

We are quite a select group aren't we?

[Veggo]

We love pain.

[viperlush]

I do love when the "Cooking Chowhounds" (those who cook, but don't really eat out) collide with the "Restaurant Chowhound" (those who eat out but don't really cook). Usually seen when OP requests the best prepared tomato sauce/bbq sauce (Why buy it? Here is a great recipe or Why make it? Here is a great prepared one). Or when the OP is commenting on the price of a dish (Who spends $30 for a steak at a restaurant?! I can buy one for $15 and grill it myself.)

[ratgirlagogo]

Ah yes. One of the eternal conflicts, really.

[paulj]

Maybe we need a Semi-Home Cooking board :) And its counterpart 'I hate FN' board.

[sueatmo]

It is interesting when different viewpoints are expressed. That's how we learn new stuff, which is a major reason for my reading CH posts! And, sometimes you have to learn there IS a different viewpoint.

I actually enjoy most of the back and forth, unless it becomes too arcane or disputatious.

[ratgirlagogo]

Oh, I love the back and forth, even when it is arcane and disputatious. And I do realize that saying so is in itself a Chowhound cliche.

[HillJ]

I do realize that saying so is in itself a Chowhound cliche.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
Let's face it, we're all cliches at this point...how can we not be?!

[kevin]

Well said.

And by saying well said, yes that would be a cliche too.

damn.

[sueatmo]

Sometimes cliches speak the truth.

[HillJ]

As long as we all can give as good as we get, I see no harm.

[HillJ]

when the natives get restless, they need to bang on the cage.
seems healthy. the stories are hilarious.

[Veggo]

Maxwell's silver hammer...

[HillJ]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIMGgB...

[mlou72]

And sometimes you have to leave when there is a different viewpoint! One of those viewpoints that grabs onto your pantsleg with their fangs and refuses to let go until you admit that their viewpoint is the one and only true viewpoint.

There are two points at which I turn tail and run: as you said, the disputatiousness, or when thread replies veer off as far as possible to the right and run down the page about forty feet.

[sueatmo]

I don't stick around if I've given a reply, and I don't have any more to say on the subject. I don't stick around if the tone of the posts turns nasty.

Actually, some of the posts on this thread strike me as being awfully judgemental. I may have said all I have to say on this subject.

[mlou72]

Wait, were you being judgemental? Maybe I've been under the mistaken impression that much of CH posts are judgemental....

[sueatmo]

Yes, I was making a judgement. But I can't seem to stay away.

[mlou72]

I heard a rumor that the 1000th poster on this thread gets honorary admin capabilities from the CH team that may or may not include rights to correct misspellings... should happen within a few hours the way this train wreck is zipping along.

[Miss Needle]

Poster A: I love restaurant X.
Poster B: Oh, yeah, restaurant X is the best.
Poster C: I celebrated my anniversary at X. Best. meal. ever.
Poster D: I wish I could make enough money to eat at X every day.
Poster E: My last meal would be the beef from X.
Poster F: Everybody should have the opportunity to go to X at least once.
Poster G: I had a bad meal at Restaurant X.
Poster H: Hi. I'm visiting from out of town and had always wanted to go to Restaurant X. But in light of your review, I must change my mind and find a restaurant where 100% of the reviews are positive.

[Lizard]

Although I have yet to master the difference between "You're" and "your", "there", "their", and "they're" or even the appropriate use of apostrophes, I will take this occasion to sneer at friends, relatives, servers, and television chefs who cannot pronounce the following food terms.

[roxlet]

Oh, don't you mean apostrophes's?

[goodhealthgourmet]

[Like] :)

[nsxtasy]

Oh, that reminds me of one more cliche: duplicate posts! :)

[soupkitten]

palate palette pallet

[sueatmo]

Oh yes. Or to "loose weight." Or to pique or peak.

[buttertart]

Or "make due". Aagh.

[sueatmo]

Or a mute point.

[goodhealthgourmet]

I'm trying to loose weight so I don't like to eat at restraints because it's to tempting - I'd rather make due with whatever is in the pantry at home. But I have to accompany my husband to a lot of business dinners and his partners always choose fancy restuarants with prefix menus that have a lot of courses. Plus one of them likes to show off his developed palette by discussing wine parings for every course with the somalier. Last night's dessert was chocolate mouse, which is one of my favorites - I just couldn't resist! And I had already eaten an omlet with cheese for breakfast and a roast beef sandwhich with au jus sauce for lunch! My clothes are getting so tight from all this rich food, maybe I should try a glutin-free diet.

[small h]

I wish you'd a bit more discrete.

And since this thread is no longer confined to cliches, just things that annoy us (ok, me) to death, what is up with LOLOL? WTF does that even mean? Laughing out loud out loud? Laughing out loud or lower? Laughing out loud oh lordy? It's bad enough that you're sitting there giggling like an imbecile at your own hilariousness. Don't compound it by upping the ante with nonsense.

[HillJ]

This entire thread is a cliche at this point, small h. What difference does it make, what does it prove, where does it lead.

But it sure illustrates the amount of frustration that comes from being a long time poster with a point of view....and lordy WE already knew that didn't we.

[small h]

You're right, of course. I need to calm down. It's hard to enjoy food (or anything else) once I've worked myself into a lather.

[hill food]

"And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."

that's my MO these days! Shit yeah!

[ChristinaMason]

Oww! My eyes!

[BobB]

Hey, it's a doggy dog world out there!

[Marge]

Went to The New Restaurant last night, not impressed. Bread ok, salad weak, chicken fair, dessert meh. Will try again in a few weeks to see if they work out the kinks.

[mlou72]

I must assume you're posting this on the general board and expect everyone in the world to know that The New Restaurant is in your hometown, 3 miles up from the old vet's that is now a fruit stand, left down a hidden road and past the old school bus stop that doesn't exist anymore, and in an old general store that has been converted into a car repair shop and now a new restaurant.

[goodhealthgourmet]

actually she posted it on Site Talk.

[roxlet]

Hi, I need help on how to organize my kitchen cupboards, and only my kitchen cupboards. You know, the ones that have cups in them. If you mention anything like food or pots, you should go talk about that somewhere else. You're not being helpful to ME, so it is really, really annoying to have to read something that doesn't deal with my problem with cups. If I wanted to get help on pots, I would have asked for it.

[Veggo]

I hear you. So many cretins can't answer a simple question. I mean, it's a CUPboard,right? Not a FOODboard and not a POTboard. I saw some cool ones on my last trip to China, you could pick some up there. And they are so easy to make yourself or I could give you the name of a cabinetmaker but I just know his first name. I just re-read your post and saw ORGANIZE. Well the ones you have probably suck and aren't worth organizing, so I was right the first time. And this is what you meant anyways, "where can I get good cupboards". I saw some really good ones that were made from an upright coffin with shelves. In these days with the bad economy, there's a lot more cremations because few can afford an old fashioned-burial, so you might get a good price on a coffin. You should follow a hearse home and talk to the owner. Easiest to check the obits and burial schedules in your local Daily as your first step toward organized cupboards. I just hope it's not a friend or relative! I lost an uncle last month- we thought he was faking a peanut allergy because he probably didn't like peanuts, but that satay sauce got him!

Glad to be of help.

[roxlet]

Thanks, Veggo! Clears that up!

[buttertart]

Veggo, gotta say, once again, you da man.

[meatn3]

Hi!

I'm a special snowflake and just discovered how AWESOME food is!!!!!!!!
So I've started a blog "I'm A Special Snowflake Eating" so all of you can follow my exciting discoveries.

My first review is about Chez La Fou-Fou that is an hour away from my home - but hey, AWESOME food is worth it! I took pictures of EVERYTHING! The waiter putting the dishes on the table - and they use REAL cloth for napkins!!!! They even had a woman in the Ladies Room handing out REAL cloth napkins to dry your hands!!! How cute is THAT? You can see a picture of us together on my blog (I'm A Special Snowflake Eating) along with pictures of EVERYTHING else!

P.S. - Check my blog EVERYDAY! I'll be posting about everything I eat!

[buttertart]

Excellent...

[limster]

"Foodiocy" -- as described/discussed previously: http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/657067

[nofunlatte]

I think this has become my favorite thread since the "Cowering in Fear" one!

[acgold7]

"We're Gluten-Free, Wheat-Allergic, Lactose intolerant, Raw Food Vegan Fat-Phobes who don't like tomatoes. We want to make an authentic pepperoni Pizza. What can we substitute and have it come out just as good as the orginal?"

[goodhealthgourmet]

Reply #1: You don't like tomatoes? How can you NOT like tomatoes? They're my favorite food EVER. I could live on them.

Reply #2: If you want to make authentic pizza, lose the pepperoni. Trust me, I visited my sister for a week when she did a semester abroad in Italy 15 years ago.

Reply #3: @Reply #2, where in Italy? You shouldn't be so quick to dismiss pepperoni - there *is* a remote village on a mountainside in Calabria where it's acceptable to put American-style pepperoni on your pizza...but only if you raise and slaughter the pigs and cows and cure the meat yourself.

Reply #4: I wouldn't bother making pizza at home unless, like me, you used nothing but your own two hands and a spatula to build a special brick, wood-burning pizza oven that can reach 2,000 degrees. Without that, your pizza will suck.

Reply #5: Can someone please explain to me why suddenly the whole world is allergic to wheat and gluten?

Reply #6: @Reply #5, don't waste your time replying to posts like this - gluten-free, vegan, food allergies...they're all idiots. What are they even doing on Chowhound?

Reply #7: @the OP, consider yourself lucky. I had to figure out how to do this too, and we're fruitarians! You have so much more to work with, it should be easy.

Reply #8: @Reply #1, you should try one of the hybrid heirlooms I personally developed by grafting 3 nearly-extinct varieties in my prize-winning garden. It took me 18 years and I drained my kids' college fund to finance it, but it's so unbelievably fantastic that it's the only tomato I'll eat now. You haven't had a real tomato until you've tried one of these.

Reply #9: Folks, several of these replies seem to have veered off-topic, so we've split each one off to the appropriate boards. You can continue the authenticity discussion in Italy, the pizza oven discussion in Cookware and the tomato discussion in Gardening. And we've had to remove several comments that were too judgmental, and posts that were beginning to tread into subjects like dietary advice and medical conditions - topics like that aren't suitable for Chowhound - so please let's try to keep the discussion focused on good food. Thanks! - The Chowhound Team

[Duppie]

Perfect...just perfect.

[EWSflash]

GHG, you crack me up!

[sueatmo]

Very funny parody, ghc.

[Veggo]

I'm expecting The Chowhound Team to throw it back at us, and tell us potty- mouthed, snarky ingrates to go wash our mouths out with cilantro.

[sherriberry]

I hate cilantro-could I use Pinot Noir instead?

[Veggo]

If you promise to talk dirty...

[sherriberry]

mold, mud,mildew slime, soap scum.

[goodhealthgourmet]

bring it - i love cilantro.

[mlou72]

And just what is the point of you copying and pasting from various boards? Sheesh, if you really tried I'm sure you could make something up to give us a good laugh. Perhaps you missed the point of this board?

[goodhealthgourmet]

THAT was awesome - you really had me at first! i totally thought you were bashing me for all the copied & pasted links i always post when people don't bother to search :)

[mlou72]

When I started reading your post, I was truly shaking my head and thinking it was all too real. Really, I could swear I've read those very things! Love how you started off sane-ish and ramped up to the extinct hybrid tomato, and brought it back down to earth with a screamingly realistic CH note (btw, you captured their chipper robot tone perfectly).

I've seen you paste links, very nicely. Me... I have to restrain myself from posting 'google.com'. The only thing stopping me is knowing that sometimes I'm the idiot ;)

[meatn3]

ghg, you are starting to scare me.

I now suspect a Stepford plot from the Chowhound Team is at work!

[ChristinaMason]

well done!

[acgold7]

This thread is interesting, entertaining and popular, so we're going to be locking it shortly.

--The Chowhound Team

[paulj]

Moved to Food Media and News
-- The Chowhound Team

[linguafood]

:-D. Nice one.

[jeanmarieok]

OK - I slept late, and you got me on that one. I thought for a second, why? Because it's popular?

[linguafood]

Good morning. Too early for irony? '-)

[nsxtasy]

You got me, too. At first glance, I thought it was really from the Chowhound Team. Well played indeed!

[jeanmarieok]

Whew, I am now properly caffeinated, and ready to go......

[mlou72]

Got me!

Though they might really end up locking it for being the most popular/active thread ever on CH.

[sunshine842]

ROFLOLOL

[ratgirlagogo]

Too funny.

[chef chicklet]

Got me too! lol!

[rworange]

Cliche #!

The moderators are SOB nazi's for trying to keep the site about useful information about food rather than chat that is just interesting, entertaining and popular but not informative.

Cliche #2

The moderators are SOB nazis for deleting posts critisizing the way someone reports.

Cliche # 3

The moderators are SOB nazis for deleting posts where I responded that IMO are too stupid to be asked. Doesn't EVERYONE know you parboil bat wings ... and how many times does this have to be asked on the board?

Cliche #4

The moderators are SOB nazis for deleting responses that are unfriendly, unhelpf and condescending.

Cliche #5

YOU as a poster don't have to open, read, comment on a post that has nothing to do with eating better but is just fun, fun, fun. YOU are no fun. How dare you try to ruin our good time.

[hetook]

i caught sh** ONCE from the chowhound moderators...it's ok..i learned.

[Fowler]

"Where is the best pizza in (name your city)?"

"Where is the best steak in (name your city)?"

Questions like that only end in arguments and nothing remotely conclusive.

[irishnyc]

Thought of another:

"I want to eat at Place A or Place B. These are the only ones I'd like to choose between, so please share your opinions on each."

Followed by 30 responses on why those two choices suck and you're the stupidest human being on earth for even considering them.

(This post brought to you by a thread I started in 2008 on the Philly board about cheesesteaks, and is still getting responses three years later.)

[irishnyc]

The poster who invariably responds to a post about cell phone use in restaurants with, "Well I hate cell phones in restaurants too, but I use them because I'm the exception. I travel alone, and it's the ONLY time I can speak to my wife. I always speak in hushed tones, never bothering anyone around me. I'm the only one that knows proper restaurant cell phone etiquette. It could be an emergency, for I have a dying parent, you know!"

What on earth did we do before cell phones? Did dying people have the courtesy to not die during dinner? Put your damn cell phone away in restaurants!

[buttertart]

Hear, hear. Best ever restaurant sign sighted in Paris on the bar of an Auvergnat restaurant run by a VERY bossy lady when the cellie wasfirst all the rage: pic of a phone with pic of a crossed knife and fork below it, and the legend: this (the phone) has nothing to do with (the knofe and fork) - turn your phone off when eating in this restaurant. Hurrah. (Same lady, when informed we were going back to the States that evening, sighed deeply and said "dommage...".)
(Sorry for indulging in another CH trope, the egregious dragging in of foreign travel experiences.)

[acgold7]

People, mostly on the local boards, who pepper their posts with numerous TLAs and don't tell you what any of them mean.

[goodhealthgourmet]

meanwhile i just read your post and said WTF is a TLA?? (thanks to Google i now know it stands for three-letter acronym.)

[virtualguthrie]

I think I just saw through time! I had the same experience as you ghg.

[goodhealthgourmet]

[posted on Food Media & News or Site Talk at 3 a.m. on a Saturday over a major holiday weekend]: "Hey guys, anyone know where i can buy milk?

[3:05 am]: "Bump."

[3:15 am]: "Really? No one?"

[4:15 am]: "If it helps, I'm looking for white bread."

[4:45 am]: HELP!!!!!!!

[Miss Needle]

The "What is authentic?" and its millions of permutations.

"I can't stand Yelp."

"Food Network sucks."

"I like the old Chowhound better."

OP: I'm looking for an ethnic restaurant in Midtown.
Response: All food is ethnic.

[invinotheresverde]

"OP: I'm looking for an ethnic restaurant in Midtown.
Response: All food is ethnic."

Oh, I'm loving this one!

[linguafood]

yeah. priceless. "almost reminds me of my many drug-fuelled travels through the hippie compounds of SE Asia, back in my youth. way back."

[Veggo]

I know exactly who you mean. You might as well argue with a mail box.

[jeanmarieok]

There are some people who ask a question, and then argue with every response given, even though the responder has considered all the nonsense in the original question. Those folks are just looking for attention.

[Marge]

My elderly mother is coming for her bi-annual visit for dinner. She hates carrots. I was planning on making a carrot soup, beef stew with carrots and potatoes, a savory carrot souffle and a carrot cake for dessert. Is it unreasonable to ask her to bring in a pizza for herself? I am sick and tired of not being able to serve carrots to my family and guests one night a week every other year when she comes! Also, what is the proper etiquette for eating pizza? Mom folds it in half and then takes a bite. Am I alone in being totally grossed out and offended by this? What would be the proper etiquette to let Mom know that I am disgusted and offended by the way she eats a slice of pizza?

[jeanmarieok]

Hmmm, I wonder what you are referring to?

[goodhealthgourmet]

add red food coloring to everything and tell her she's eating beets, not carrots. trust me, i do it all the time with guests who claim they're "allergic" or don't like an ingredient i want to serve. i have no patience for high-maintenance eaters, and i don't really believe there's such a thing as food allergies anyway, people are just annoyingly picky. don't even get me started on my grandmother who *claims* she's diabetic and can't enjoy anything at the dessert-and-wine-tasting party i selflessly throw for her birthday every year. please. i go to all this effort for her, and she has to be difficult? some people are just so ungrateful. and then there are my cousins who wouldn't know good wine if i poured it over their heads. i ask them to bring a few bottles - just 2 measly cases, it's not like i'm asking for the moon - because really, i'm hosting the party, why should i have to supply the wine too? and ugh, they show up with this disgusting plonk that i'm embarrassed to serve. wine that costs less than $50 per bottle? who's actually going to drink that? sometimes i wonder why i even bother...

[Marge]

That's hilarious, because dh,ds,dd,bf,bff and I did that one year, and mom loved it!!! We were lololololololol-ing so hard that we didn't notice that mom had passed out in a pool of vomit--good thing we found her and called ems before she choked and died, lol!!

[chowser]

Too funny, you two!

[ChristinaMason]

Haha. Marge, you are killing it! DH thinks so, too ;)

[Beach Chick]

This is a riot reading all the replies..

[JoanN]

I just went to (X famous restaurant) and although there are already 116 threads on that restaurant with a gazillion reviews of it, I’m going to start a new thread because I took very detailed notes and my review is longer, better written, more insightful than any of yours and it *deserves* its own thread.

[small h]

Do you have any EMPirical evidence that these reviews are actually disPERSEd throughout Chowhound?

[JoanN]

Good on ya'! Some people do tend to BABBle On, don’t they?

[roxlet]

Nice too, JoanN!

[small h]

Damn! I was trying to figure out how to get a third restaurant in there. Excellent work.

The thing that interests (and by "interests," I mean "enrages") me about those threads is that they always get replies, and the ensuing conversation puts me in mind of pre-teens crushing on Justin Bieber:

OMG, he's so cute! I know, right! Did you see when he did that thing? I love when he does that! Look, here's a picture! Squee! I have a picture that looks exactly like your picture, only I took it, instead of you! Your picture is amazing! So is yours!

[linguafood]

You should visit the WFD thread some time, then :-D

[small h]

I am terribly embarrassed that I do not know what WFD stands for. Google sez it might be World's Fastest Drummer, World Football Daily, or World Federation for the Deaf. But I suspect it is something else?

ETA: Hah! I found it.

[linguafood]

Sssssshhhhhhhh. It's a thread on the home cooking board. You're a smart cookie -- you figure it out.

[ChristinaMason]

SO true.

[roxlet]

Good one, small h! Laughed out loud, really!

[roxlet]

I laughed out loud. Not just lol-ed!

[buttertart]

Great, all.

[linguafood]

Don't forget a myriad of pictures.

[JoanN]

Yes, but here's just a sampling. If you want to see the rest, they're on my blog.

[linguafood]

:-D

[chef chicklet]

Hey now!

[kevin]

Guilty as charged. Sometimes.

[monavano]

How about the inevitable backlash any time CH changes its appearance?
Oh no! NO! It hurts my eyes!
It gives me vertigo!
The "SHARE" tab is ruining my life!
This red is not in my color wheel!!

[cheesemaestro]

And if you don't fix it right away, I'm done with Chowhound!

[monavano]

I would be too, but it makes me apoplectic so I can't disengaged. Help!!

[mattstolz]

I think the threads that I always LOL at most are the:

"I just bought X and I dont know what it is or how to use it! Help!!"

I always want to tell them that it must be used IMMEDIATELY or is poisonous.

[mlou72]

Cross off all that beginning stuff, it's always the Help!!!! boards that throw me. Is it a meek squeaky little 'help', is it a yelling 'help', is it a 'omg ima gonna die if sum1 duznt answer + i don't have time to google it'? I never know. It's just not a word that translates on the web for my little pea brain.

I need audio for that word so I know whether someone needs help converting an amount because dinner will be ready in 20 minutes or I should call 911.

I'm not complaining, I'm not bashing, I'm just saying I never have any idea what people mean. So I have never opened a thread with 'Help!!' in the title. Okay, I probably have, but I always vow not to. I might accidentally make one myself one day. If anyone catches me doing, it, help!!!

[sunshine842]

yes -- AND the ones who didn't read the recipe before starting, the guests are knocking on the front door, and it takes three hours in the oven...yet not only are you sitting at the computer instead of figuring out what you're going to do for dinner, you apparently believe that some chowhound somewhere will wiggle their nose and produce a perfectly done dish for you....

[nsxtasy]

>> Cross off all that beginning stuff, it's always the Help!!!! boards that throw me. Is it a meek squeaky little 'help', is it a yelling 'help', is it a 'omg ima gonna die if sum1 duznt answer + i don't have time to google it'? I never know. It's just not a word that translates on the web for my little pea brain.

I have to laugh at this one, because yesterday on my local board, I replied to a new topic with the title "Help!!! Need a Restaurant Recommendation near the Congress Theater (Milwaukee and Armitage)" (and last paragraph "All Help is Appreciated!!!") by providing a link to a previous discussion with the title "Dinner near Congress Theater -- HELP!!". I had to resist the temptation to comment about the difference between three exclamation points and two exclamation points. :)

[mlou72]

I suppose we could petition CH to start a board titled HELP!!!, or maybe two or three with varying degrees of exclamation. But I rather like your idea of pointing the helpless toward the previously helpless.

[sunshine842]

that's one I just don't understand...if you don't know what it is or how to prepare it, how exactly did you come to pay for it? (if you saw it, went home and researched and came back for it, okay).

It's like people who book a vacation to London or Paris and then post "what is there to do?" (wait - you coughed up a few grand for airfare and hotel and you don't know why you're going there?)

[cheesemaestro]

Guilty as charged, especially when I wander through an Asian market, which I love to do. I'll pick up a jar of some formless vegetable or fish floating in goo of an indescribable color. Even though I have no idea what it's used for and all the writing on the jar is in Chinese, I'll throw it in my cart because it looks interesting and costs only a few dollars.

[sueatmo]

If I waited to know how to prepare something new to me, I'd never buy it. I think posting here about something new is logical. I don't know why it would be considered strange or annoying. Isn't this why we post? Isn't this why we share our knowledge? I think people should feel comfortable enough to ask a question that is perplexing, and that involves food. This is why the board exists, isn't it?

[BobB]

Back in the pre-Chowhound days (heck, many years pre-Internet) I saw fresh-picked olives in the supermarket and bought them, because, well, they were there. Never could figure out what to do with them and they ended up as cat toys.

Today, I'd come right to my trusty Chow pals and ask for advice (or just google them).

[sueatmo]

Exactly.

[tcamp]

Oh, no, I don't think those examples are analogous at all. I do the first periodically but would never consider doing the second.

I'm like cheesemaestro in an asian market. I always come home with at least one canned, jarred, or frozen product that is new to me.

[sueatmo]

Well I have certainly asked for help in learning to like a certain food. I really don't think that doing so is inappropriate on this board. After all, this a large group of cooking folk who do all kinds of cooking and eating. I also think we should cut the clueless a little slack. When they come here asking about what sort of cookware is best, they really don't know what they are asking--obviously. And this is a marvelous group of enthusiasts who know an awfully lot. It is a good place to ask. The comment that CH posters should seek clarification is good.

What irritates me (you knew this was coming, right?) is posters who ask questions, receive several answers or requests for clarification, and then never post again! People have taken time to consider the question. But their answers fall into a black hole. We don't know what happened next. It just seems that those who ask the questions, should be polite enough to let us know more, or how they decided to proceed.

But overall, CH posters are good folk who share their experiences, their lore, their frustrations, their questions, their recipes. It could be a lot worse, you know?

[goodhealthgourmet]

But overall, CH posters are good folk who share their experiences, their lore, their frustrations, their questions, their recipes. It could be a lot worse, you know?
~~~~~~~~
it sure could, and *thank you* for saying so. as i posted my last comment a few minutes ago it struck me that this thread has steered me into a really negative head space, which is pretty much the last thing i need in my life right now. of course i still stand by everything i've said thus far in the discussion, i just won't complain *anymore* :)

[HillJ]

Yeah, I thought this was all in good fun. Some of the posts are really funny. But it's not my intent to name names or be mean spirited. It's good to laugh off the goof e ness from time to time.

[Veggo]

HJ, ghg is being very clever, as others are here, as they mimic cliche responses...and with others it's not easy to distinguish...this is like a neat Halloween costume party...

[HillJ]

Ah...I'm just not that clever :)

[sueatmo]

Oh, I'm not saying I haven't laughed! I just feel sorry for the totally clueless.

[Veggo]

Agreed. I wish we could help the clueless, and throw the uncurteous under a bus. I have made international phone calls to confirm information on posts I have made, sometimes with nary a thank you.

[HillJ]

Thank you. I'd be happy to say for the uncurteous and clueless :)

[Veggo]

Nice try. You are good folk, but there is no transitive property of thanks, and you can't apologize for those uncurteous miscreants who should have been smothered at birth. The clueless are probably asleep by now.
:)

[HillJ]

My Mother taught me better than that I suppose, V.

[Veggo]

The world needs lots of you and only a little of me. But a little, nonetheless.

[evewitch]

Heehee, "No transitive property of thanks." My LOL for the quarter. Carry on. /tangent. :)

[kevin]

really you made international phone calls verifying the information on a restaurant you put in your post?

You are definitely going above and beyond the call of duty.

[Veggo]

No duty, my pleasure. Mexico is my love, and for anyone who wants to really check it out, Cristina and Dining Diva are the experts, with boundless love. But task me with the phone calls. I have brought fire trucks, ambulances, and english language schools here, and we have just begun!

[sherriberry]

People who always respond to creative party solutions that the ONLY way to host/entertain is to provide everything for the party and to ask others to contribute food/plates,etc. is rude. As if their way is the only way and hosting a "proper" party is more important than fellowship w/ friends. If I refused to participate in and snubbed "non traditional" parties, I would have missed out on a lot of great times w/ people I really like.

[sunshine842]

oo-er, YES.

[linguafood]

I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. None.

'-)

[Veggo]

Yeah, well cop a ride on the clue bus, I went there and partied til I barfed. Dont u no how to have fun? And I wore my Red Sox cap-forward for a change in case I barfed upside down so I wouldn't mess up the sidewalks in Chucktown.

[linguafood]

What is "X"?

(insert food item/random food question that could JUST AS EASILY be googled first, after which further, more in depth questions might be asked here.)

[cowboyardee]

The mods don't look kindly on it, but it's always tempting to just respond with a helpful link.

http://lmgtfy.com/

or...
http://googleforidiots.com/

[linguafood]

That one gets deleted about as quickly as it is posted. Trust me.

[ChristinaMason]

Yes, this is SO annoying! I mean, occasionally asking someone to elaborate is fine. But there are repeat offenders who I'm convinced do it just to up their "presence" on this site.

[nsxtasy]

Another cliche is, "I will be visiting your city. Can you please recommend restaurants? To give you an idea of what I like, I like Restaurant A, Restaurant B, and Restaurant C." As though everyone in the entire country is intimately familiar with all the restaurants in your home city. :rolleyes: (Those who live in one specific large city are notorious for this.)

[sunshine842]

...even though there are pages and pages of threads with current restaurant recommendations...

[invinotheresverde]

The "What's the Dress Code at X?" questions. Dude, can't ya just put on a pair of non-jean pants for once? It won't kill you. I promise.

[viperlush]

Or why can't they just call the restaurant? I'll put that with any basic information question about a restaurant (parking, hours, location) that is best answered by the restaurant.

[Terrie H.]

Truly, why don't these people just call the restaurant? It amazes me how many people ask these simple questions on this public forum when they could have just called the place. Oh, wait... maybe they just wanted us all to know what spectacular place they are trying to do.

[goodhealthgourmet]

there's one particular Hound on a certain regional board who's fond of starting threads like "[Restaurant Name], Anyone Been?" or "Who Serves the Best [Dish Name] in town?"...meanwhile, there are 17 threads about said restaurant or dish already, and even though one of us will inevitably post links to all the existing discussions for him, he never takes the hint and searches first before doing the same thing again a few days later. and when someone chimes in to tell him they had the best rendition of such-and-such dish at Cafe ABC, he'll reply, "where is it?" (instead of looking it up himself apparently he'd rather wait a day or two for someone to provide the information for him.) the last time i saw that he did that i posted links to the restaurant's website, the Mapquest *and* Google Maps location pages for it, the Google search link for it, and i copied and pasted the location details into the body of my reply as well, all with the hope that he would take the hint. he never replied :)

[soupkitten]

um. that guy is actually on *all* of the regional boards, isn't he? maybe he's the same guy! :)

[jeanmarieok]

Actually, there is a guy who posts andom stuff on local boards (traveling to city x - looking for the best fried ravoli (substituted to be polite) ? and you think - our city x has no history with that specific item, wtf?). And when I looked, he had posted the same thing on like 5 local boards all across the US.

[Quine]

The ever popular, "OMG!!!! I have 1/4 teaspoon of tomato paste (insert any other ingredient ) left. What can I make?"

[sunshine842]

yet no one ever says "a quick trip to the trash can"....

[Quine]

Trust me, I always say that! I say you will make 99% more stuff, spend more time, energy (yours and carbon), and money when the trash can is right there. :)

[mattstolz]

i always want to suggest a trip to the store to get enough of whatever it is to make an actual dish.

[sunshine842]

but in that "Stone Soup" sorta of roundabout way...so they don't realize that you never actually mentioned that half a spoonful of tomato paste anyway....

[cheesemaestro]

And then there are those who are quantity-challenged in the other direction. "There was a fabulous sale on bok choy at the market today. It was too good to pass up, so I bought 30 lbs. What can I do with it before it goes bad? Oh, by the way, there are only two of us, and we have no friends, we hate our neighbors and all our relatives are dead. Please help!"

[Veggo]

and it flatulates the dogs, cats, even the parrots...

[pie22]

i just got this far on the thread and had a few smiles on my face but this one really got me, i am trying so hard not laugh out loud at my desk right now!

[mlou72]

Hilarious! But you know what, I am always buying huge bags of bok choy and manage to eat most of it because I love it so much. Last time I was at Ranch 99 I saw a huge rectangular bucket with side drain holes on the sale table and was thinking... foot bath? When I saw it was made specifically for washing huge quantities of bok choy I nearly grabbed the whole stack to buy! Quite proud I limited myself to just one :)

[paulj]

My 99 has been been packing the dozen varieties of choy in pretty large bags. I didn't have much of a problem finishing off the baby bok choy, but the bag of Taiwanese choy ended up spoiling on me. Those bags aren't intended for people who only buy their rice in 5 lb bags. :)

[mlou72]

Would it be cliche if we hijack this thread and turn it into a bok choy discussion? :D

I buy my rice in 10-20 lb bags, so I guess I'm okay.

[Terrie H.]

Those that feel that they are owed something far above a correction of a minor error in a dish or delay in seating and come here desperate for vindication.

[Firegoat]

The people who expect everything for a minor error, and those who have children that are the most perfect foodies in the world. Oh, and in third place, but not forgotten, those that must correct a very enthusiastic poster about their spelling or their dish. Just let people enjoy food.

[MandalayVA]

Oh, I forgot--"how can I make (food) healthy?" "Is (food) healthy?" "Your best healthy recipes!" If you don't think it's healthy, don't eat it.

[goodhealthgourmet]

Whatever you do, I beg of you, PLEASE don't eat at Restaurant XYZ!!! My boyfriend and I got the WORST food poisoning from eating lunch there last week. We had just gotten back that morning from a trip to this really remote vacation spot in Central America where there's no running water or electricity and you have to boil the water to make it safe to drink. We had to prepare all our own meals from greens, mushrooms and berries we foraged in the wild, and it was pretty cool, but we were *really* looking forward to eating a meal where someone else was doing the cooking and serving. We didn't actually eat the same thing at the restaurant - he's a gluten-free vegetarian who's allergic to nuts and seafood so he just had steamed spinach and bottled water, and I decided I wasn't really hungry, plus I'm on a low-protein diet because I read an article in a fashion magazine that said protein may be bad for you, so I just had a piece of bread from the bread basket and a few bites of my spaghetti marinara. But it was the ONLY meal we ate in a restaurant last week, and that night all we had for dinner was some leftovers we found in the fridge from dinner I had made a few weeks ago before we went away...and I'm a really good cook, so I'm sure it wasn't that. Both of us woke up the next day feeling so sick we thought we were going to DIE, and I'm convinced it was that lunch we ate at Restaurant XYZ. Seriously, DON'T eat there!

[HillJ]

I'm preparing dinner for my family while I'm reading this hilarious thread! Restaurant XYZ...omg...too funny.

[INDIANRIVERFL]

I am visiting your city and am too lazy to conduct a search. Please list everything edible. I refuse to divulge how much I care to spend, where exactly I am staying, and how dare you not already know my list of food preferences.

[Samalicious]

I was in Italy for 15 minutes 6 years ago so I know exactly how Italian food should taste.

[HillJ]

ROFL.hahaha. Hilarious Sama.!

[cowboyardee]

That's a good one.

For whatever reason, discussions of Italian food are by far the most likely to elicit people to tell you with impenetrable and unwavering expertise that a you or a restaurant are cooking it completely wrong.

[Duppie]

Or even better. I had dinner with a friend who's hair dresser went out with a guy who's mother was born in ------- and she said they serve the most authentic------- around, so it must be good.

[cheesemaestro]

Yes, and I think that your pet peeve can be generalized beyond restaurant requests. For example, someone who posts: "I need to buy new cookware. What do you recommend?" IMO, the fault for how these threads usually turn out lies equally with the OP for not providing pertinent details and with subsequent posters who reply without asking the OP for more information that would help to narrow down the field of possibilities.

[PotatoPuff]

+1 Indian river!
or, the inverse: I'm going to be staying in X city, need a place for 3-4 girlfriends (ages 19, 20, 26), my aunt(age 50), maybe her dog (age 2), we might go bowling, I hate lemons, and I need a place to eat that somehow connects with all this irrelevant criteria.

[Marge]

While cleaning out my refrigerator I found something that expired three years ago. It is covered with hair, and glows in the dark. If I shave it and cut away the neon sections is it safe to eat? And if I boil it as planned, how can I re-purpose the cooking water? Actually, any ideas how to prepare the hair and the neon sections? I HATE to waste food!

[HillJ]

ROFLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL..Marge if you're actually being serious here and contributing to this thread.......and that's a real deal cliches........you win.

[Marge]

Well, I'm exaggerating just a little, but there are MANY threads asking random chowhounds if some old, or improperly stored, or otherwise disgusting former foodstuffs are safe to eat, or can be re-used.

[HillJ]

Okay but your comment made me roar!

[Kitchen Imp]

+1 - that was hilarious!

[cheesemaestro]

And half the people who respond will say that it's perfectly fine and to go ahead and eat it!

The opposite threads are equally worthy of mention: "I left my butter out on the counter for 15 minutes. Is it safe to eat?" And again, half of the posters will say that it has to be thrown out.

[mattstolz]

depends how much hair is involved

[mlou72]

or how many lick marks...

But see, I never have had the butter problem because my old dog would steal it off the counter before you could blink and eat the whole thing, wrapper and all. She trained me to put it away the second my knife left it. She's long gone, but the butter still goes back in the fridge just as quick. Dangit, why wasn't SHE that well trained?

[rusty_s]

"And half the people who respond will say that it's perfectly fine and to go ahead and eat it!"
This is my favorite part of those posts. Are the "go ahead and eat it" people amused by a stranger getting food poisoning, or are they trying to eliminate stupid from the gene pool on behalf of humanity?

[hill food]

rusty - can't we be dual-purposed in our malice?

[sunshine842]

+100

and I hate wasting money, even though I spent 59 cents on it off of the clearance rack three years ago....

[MGZ]

Or the inverse version - "I left my eggs on the counter for thirteen minutes while I was distracted. Are they still safe to eat?"

[cheesemaestro]

MGZ, great minds (?) think alike! See my post just above. I assume we were both composing our respective posts about the same time.

[mlou72]

Marge... *SMOOCH* Hands down, best post I've ever seen on this site! Love it! You just made me laugh so hard I pulled something and now I hurt! I've seen so many posts like that and find a secret glee in reading them purely for entertainment. They'll all take on a new light with your post in my head now!

[sueatmo]

Too funny and too true. LOL

[linguafood]

Best. Post. So far. Thanks for that, Marge!

[Isolda]

Funniest thing I've read all day!

[ratgirlagogo]

Those are my favorites as well. What recipes to make with the leftover water from boiling hot dogs, for example (an actual example). And often the answers are very funny.

The cousin posts to those ones of course are the "Help! what can I POSSIBLY make with
a) 3 quarts of freshly picked wild strawberries
b) 20 pounds of fresh Beluga caviar
c) four dry-aged prime Porterhouse steaks etc. etc.
Actually those are funnier.

[calliope_nh]

I loved the hotdog water thread. I was laughing so hard. I ended up reading most of it out loud so as not to be selfish with the fun.

[kevin]

Can I get the link to that thread? Thanks.

[Quine]

http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/787437

[donovt]

That thread is a classic.

[tcamp]

I love them too but in addition to enjoying the hilarious ideas, I am sort of manic about food waste so I may be part of the problem.

[cheesemaestro]

The authenticity proclaimers. "What? The fish at your sushi restaurant isn't flown in daily from Japan? And the itamae at the place I frequent studied for 10 years with the most prestigious masters before being allowed in front of customers." (Of course, the true sushi connoisseur would never say "sushi chef." Only the Japanese word will do.)

Or the posters who dismiss cookbooks and recipes as being "inauthentic" and oversimplified to suit American tastes. Occasionally, they are right, but often, they won't accept anything that doesn't have at least 30 ingredients and take three days to prepare from scratch. They won't admit that a dish that is not traditional may nevertheless be delicious.

Can't find that ingredient? No problem. I just mail order it from Kuala Lumpur! But, of course, I seldom have to do that. I can get almost everything where I live (read: NYC, LA, San Francisco or London). What, the markets in Des Moines don't sell fresh galangal? What a shame. It must be such a challenge living in the hinterlands.

[nsxtasy]

>> The authenticity proclaimers. "What? The fish at your sushi restaurant isn't flown in daily from Japan? And the itamae at the place I frequent studied for 10 years with the most prestigious masters before being allowed in front of customers." (Of course, the true sushi connoisseur would never say "sushi chef." Only the Japanese word will do.)

A variation on this theme can be called The Mavens: "I know seafood because I grew up on XYZ beach town", "I know Jewish delis because I lived in New York City", etc. The subtle, unspoken insinuation is along the lines of "I know X (and you don't, so my opinion is valid and anyone else's isn't)".

[HillJ]

Folks who "review" or rate a restaurant on hearsay or without having actually eaten there.

Folks who dislike something without having tasted it.

Folks who have tried something and it wasn't to their liking so they tell you not to bother.

And don't even get me started on the suggestion that the more you pay the better it is...ugh.

Experience everything for yourself with the benefit of having researched or read what others had to say...but DECIDE for yourself. That's what works.

[INDIANRIVERFL]

The restaurant review, that goes on ad nauseum about every little detail of the whole dining experience. And everything is to DIE FOR. At least fess up that you work there, or own a piece of it. This is especially telling of newly opened places.

[TroyTempest]

and when these posters only post about one place

[cowboyardee]

My personal pet peeve:
"Don't yuck someone else's yum."

That's fine advice for eating dinner with friends or coworkers. It's ridiculous and stupid to apply it to a website built around anonymous food critique. But I've seen people go so far as to claim that it's one of the guiding principles around here, one of the central tenets of CH (really, it's happened). Since when?

[sunshine842]

the only reason I'm a fan of that one is because of the sad group of people who somehow believe that if you like something they don't like (or conversely abhor something they adore) that you are somehow deficient and inferior to the rest of the human race.

I like what I like, and I don't like what I don't like -- but it doesn't mean I'm any less a human being (or hound) because of it.

[cowboyardee]

That's sort of the point though - you're entitled to like what you like AND to dislike what you dislike. But the notion that a person can't speak ill of any food without making sure no one else on the thread has proclaimed to like it is beyond silly for a food critique site.

[viperlush]

It's good that people disagree, the site would be boring if it didn't. But I think that the problem is when it becomes personal and dismissive. "YOU aren't a real Chowhound because you don't like xyz or because you like xyz".

[cowboyardee]

Agreed. 'Yucking someone's yum' has nothing to do with making it personal and dismissive (of said person) though.

Disagreement is not the same thing as disrespect. But plenty of hounds seem not to make that distinction, as evidenced by the cliche in question.

[nsxtasy]

Agreed here too. Too many people take it as a personal affront if an opinion differs from theirs, when it's only an OPINION. I bet those folks don't mind if someone likes another flavor of ice cream, or another type of music or another song. But G-d forbid anyone should say they do or don't like such-and-such restaurant!

I mean, it's fine if there are differences of opinion; you can express yours, and I can express mine. But I won't insult you or say there's anything wrong with you if your opinion disagrees with mine, and that's the way things are supposed to work around here.

I like the way the Chowhound Team sometimes puts it: "Discuss the chow, not the Chowhound."

[Ikkeikea]

+1

[lilgi]

+1000

...but the next complaint will be the pluses ;)

[goodhealthgourmet]

@cowboyardee, i think it's a matter of what you think it means to "yuck someone's yum." IMO, if you say that someone else's favorite dish isn't for you, or that you dislike an ingredient, or that you don't understand the appeal of a popular food/restaurant/recipe/whatever...that isn't yucking someone's yum, it's stating your opinion or preference. but when someone talks about a food or eats something in front of you and you express horror or outright disgust - "OMG, how can you EAT that??? The thought of putting that in my mouth is so vile I'd rather make a meal of my own toenail clippings!!" - *then* you're yucking someone's yum.

or at least that's how i see it.

[cowboyardee]

That's a fine distinction, but it strikes me as sorta revisionist.

Less "Don't yuck someone's yum" and more "Don't s*** all over someone for liking something you dislike." I can fully get behind the latter slogan, though for some reason I don't see it catching on.

[Quine]

See, now that one I ^am^ fine on. It's just another way of saying the golden rule. If someone likes something, great, If you not like that thing, move along those are the droids you are looking for.

So I think it is a good thing. Saying how much you don't like the thing the thread is about is just plain not productive and in some sense bullying.

[cowboyardee]

"Saying how much you don't like the thing the thread is about is just plain not productive and in some sense bullying."
__________
Again, revisionism. I'd agree that chiming in with an off-topic rant about how much you hate something that other people are discussing is unproductive. But it's certainly not always off-topic to say you dislike something that others are claiming to like.

Really, people who can't distinguish between disagreement and disrespect are always going to feel bullied and victimized by people around them. That's sad, but not my problem. This is a site built around and for not just recommendations but also critiques.

[Quine]

Well all righty then.

[mattstolz]

i think theres a important distinction to be made here between "yucking a yum" and claiming superiority over someone else for their yum. the former i think is ok, the latter, no way. but i think it can tend to happen

[cowboyardee]

Fair 'nuff. See my reply to goodhealthgourmet though.

[lilgi]

and did you ever see it happen with that polite passive/aggressiveness that is truly annoying?

[Quine]

Ya mean like being called an "alpha dog" because you explained what a certain kind of knife the thing was...I have.

[lilgi]

hahah meant here for just the yucking business, but yeah the description probably covers a lot more than that.

[Quine]

Well the exact quote was "Sounds more like you are trying to scare us -- trying to be the alpha male." LOL Gotta love some of our "experts"

[mattstolz]

alphaness of the male is exactly correlated to cost of chefs knife.

fact.

[cowboyardee]

I think it has more to do with the length of the chefs knife.

[Firegoat]

Width, not length.

[Quine]

Silly boys it's the motion. Gotta get that rocking going.

[cowboyardee]

You ever try to rock a paring knife?

[Quine]

Nah but have known some who have and bragged about it. ;)

[hyde]

the use of the word "yummy"

[Jay F]

Don't forget "yum" and "yuk" (o never to have heard this excrescent pair).

[Cachetes]

I've used that here, meant solely to refer to someone who, looking at a plate of food directly in front of me, sneers, curls their lips and says, "Ewwww, how could you eat that?" As for disagreement on Chowhound, isn't that part of its point?

[cowboyardee]

Well said. I would never yuck something that a real live person sitting in front of me was enjoying. But applying that same logic to this site is like trying to ban punching in a boxing gym.

[sunshine842]

LOL -- I've had someone do that -- my standard response is "with a great deal of enjoyment" as I dig in.

[Duppie]

The posters who claim to be allergic or know someone's friend friend who is allergic to, but not limited to everything from Anchor Butter to Lemon Zest.
Oh yeah, also the cadre of entitled souls who believe that the price of dinner includes the right to substitute,include,exclude,demand everything on the side and is morally outraged when told ..NO.

[linguafood]

Posters spending what appears to be an *amazing* amount of time dragging up citations, scientific links, articles, etc. to prove the most inane & irrelevant things. Or to disprove them. And then to go back and forth about it, generally having not a lick to do with the OT.

[viperlush]

Usually found on the "If you eat X you will die/the world will end..." threads.

[viperlush]

The "I am being forced (by gun point?) to go to x chain. What it edible (what can I eat without dying?)?"

[ttoommyy]

I agree 100% viperlush. One of my BIGGEST pet peeves on this site. For crying out loud, just go and eat something. If 1000s of people eat at these chains and the chains are still in business, one meal ain't gonna do you in!

[Firegoat]

another +1. If the chains are THAT bad, then don't go. Don't whine about it.

[jeanmarieok]

Another +1 re: being forced to eat at a chain. Makes me crazy.

[julesrules]

The tone can be a bit much but i have no problem with the intent, which is to make the best of it. They're already going to the restaurant, why not eat something reasonably tasty? The spaghetti with mizithra and brown butter at Spaghetti Factory is pretty good, and I only know that from referring to past CH threads before I went.
I find it more obnoxious when people post "I am going to dinner with a large group of picky family including young kids and the elderly. For some reason they REFUSE to go along with my (ethnic, trendy, long line-ups) pick, which I chose purely for CH value, with no regard to the tastes or comfort of the group! Please reinforce my superiority. Oh and suggest some other options that meet my standards."

[BobB]

Any discussion of manners or etiquette will immediately and inevitably devolve into competing rants about the horrible rudeness of the unmannered vs the horrible presumptuousness of those who think they should have a say in how others behave in public.

I'm not exempting myself from that, I've certainly done my share of ranting.

[cheesemaestro]

The "I hate food X" threads, which rarely have any useful content, but can be quite hilarious as posters try to outdo one another in expressing their revulsion.

Poster #1: I hate goat cheese.

P#2: I loathe it.

P#3: I abhor it.

P#4: I despise it with every fiber of my being.

P#5: It's disgusting, disgusting, disgusting, disgusting!

P#6: It looks like [supply unmentionable word].

P#7: I can't get within 100 feet of it. The smell makes me queasy.

P#8. Only queasy? It's worse with me. I want to vomit when i see it.

P#9: I DO vomit when I see it.

P#10: Me too! Not just regular vomiting, projectile vomiting.

P#11: How far?

P#10: Only a foot or so. But I have some paralysis of my throat muscles, or I'm sure it would go farther.

P#12: My sister had the nerve to serve a salad with goat cheese at Christmas dinner ten years ago. No one in my extended family has spoken to her since then.

P#13: Serves her right! What was she thinking?

P#14: I wrote my Congressman last year to demand that goat cheese be banned in Texas. Can you believe that I didn't get a reply?!

P#15: I pray each night that, when I wake up the next morning, goat cheese will have vanished from the face of the earth.

P#16: I just read an article in a respected scientific journal that says goat cheese causes heart disease, diabetes and cancer.

P#17: I knew it! I need the reference to that article ASAP. Why isn't the FDA on top of this?

P#18: OMG! I thought I was the only person in the whole wide world who didn't like goat cheese. It's SOOOO comforting to know that there is a community of like-minded people who are as grossed out by it as I am. Thank you, Chowhound. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

And on and on.

[buttertart]

Then the inevitable "WTH, are you crazy? Goat cheese is the food of the gods..." pileon that ensues.

[cheesemaestro]

I'm in the second camp. Well, not quite. I relish goat cheese, but sheep's milk cheese is the real food of the gods!

The "I love food X" threads do have value, at least potentially. People may describe interesting ways in which they use the food/ingredient or offer up recipes. The hate threads are rarely good for anything beyond a good laugh.

I'm also amused by this variant of the hate threads: "I can't stand food X. Please help me to like it." And then people post recipes that they are sure will convert the OP to a food X lover. As if a life without food X were a life unfulfilled. I've been tempted to respond that I have an elixir that will magically turn the person into a worshipper of the food. "Take just one spoonful a day and, when you see beets, you'll shout 'Yay'! Just $19.95. But wait! If you call in the next 10 minutes, I'll send you two bottles for the same low price!".

[Axlsgoddess]

Now THAT was truly funny!

[carlee134]

this made me die laughing.

[EWSflash]

Literally die? It was probably the goat cheese.

[carlee134]

yes I am actually dead. haunting you from the whole foods internet cafe, complete with a hunk of haunted goat cheese that I will set on your radiator to make haunting cheese smells...for all eternity.

[EWSflash]

I can handle that, carlee- bring it on ;-)

[MandalayVA]

The endless "can I take my (invariably self-proclaimed well-behaved) toddler to (insert high-end restaurant)?" posts, coupled with the competitive parenting posts about whose small child loves what ethnic cuisine the most--in fact there's a post up now about "foodie kids." Sigh.

[Firegoat]

+1

[EWSflash]

+2

[Quine]

Wait, you forgot "and my dog".

[chowser]

There's the corollary of "my kids have NEVER eaten xxxxx ...." meaning fries, chicken nuggets, cake, etc. Let's fill it in w/ all foods that have made Paula Deen famous. They can love deep fried samosas but not deep fried apple pie.

[rusty_s]

This reminds me that I need to go out to the backyard and dig up the kimchee for my kids' lunch. We're not Korean, just awesome. Gotta run.

[hill food]

is your pot glazed or not? and if not what were the base minerals in the soil used for it? mine are iron heavy (have to hike down an old wagon trail and sift the tailings for the right stuff around here)

[Duppie]

"I need a way to store my Vanilla beans from Madagascar, but please don't bother posting unless it involves a storage system that hangs it vertically from the ceiling in Murano glass to retain optimal freshness,I've already discounted any other storage options and will be forced to start another tread if my request is not followed to the letter as my time is precious."

[iL Divo]

duppie

hahahhh, funny stuff

[buttertart]

Made from an heirloom cabbage only available in Korea until I smuggled seeds into the country the last time we visited. USDA be damned.

[rworange]

Yeah, everyone is so amusing. But I've gotta say even I am going to think twice about posting tips because they might seem 'cliche' and, though delicious, something to have a snort over rather than try.

Why put down people who have a passion for food.

Seriously, I just think if it isn't a discussion about food tips ... stifle it.

I don't post as many 'dumb'; questions anymore because of the site wits who always chime in. Yeah, I can report them, but it is really a drag after a while.

When I first was attracted to Chowhound it was it was fun and irreverant discussing how to eat deliciosly.

Now it seems putting down the way people post is the fun irreverant thing to do.

I remember so many Site Talk posts thanking Chowhound for existing because the poster's friends and relativs didn't understand their passion and made fun of them. It was a place that was safe to epress what you l.iked about food, however you wanted to express. it.

Now Chowhounds feel it is ok to make fun of Chowhounds

[linguafood]

Can't you just handle a few, not very mean-spirited digs at ourselves?

Really, it's not the end of the world as we know it here on CH.

[rworange]

No. It is not digs at ourselves, it is digs at other posters.

Chowhound is now the Burger King of food websites.

Burger King did one thing and one thing well ... the Whopper with its char-broiled taste.

Now it tries to copy every other fast food restaurant and does it badly.

Chowhound did one thing and one thing well ... it was about food ... about deliciousness.

A thread like this would have been gone in the past, or at best there would be a few pleas about getting back to discussing the chow and not the chowers.

Yeah, loosening up to this degree does hurt the site. Its a thread about nothing at all except dumping on other posters. Most of us are not professional journalists, so to me it is mean-spirited in that it might discourage posters.

There's currently a sweepstates of a smartphone if people go to facebook and 'like' the site.

In the past, no one needed to offer incentives to like the site. It attracted the attention of thousands and the press just because it did its one thing right ... keep the discussion about food.

I can't remember the last time Chowhound has been mentioned in the press recently.

A few digs ... almost 400 so far. Too bad posts about food can't get that response

[kevin]

You are definitely right. And I still remember what my teachers said many years ago that "There are no stupid questions."

Also, you're right on the money where if one posts a question about a restaurant or food there may be nary a response, but you start a thread on making fun of other hounds and the thread balloons to about four hundred strong. Where's the justice in that?

[Jay F]

This place curdled for me when, as a response to a thread making fun of other people's kitchens and cooking habits, Chow elevated it to "article" status.

[roxlet]

Most of us seem to be enjoying this thread a lot, and it's clear that you (and others) are not. I'll suggest what my mother always said to do when unhappy with something: " vote with your feet."

[rworange]

No. That is not the asnwer.

The best thing to do is take the courage as Jay and Keven have to vote with your posts.

Sad ... the Chowhound I fell in love with never made people too afraid to post about anything.

This thread is a disgrace.

Many people are enjoing this thread? No it is the same group of people topping themselves over and over.

[roxlet]

Yes, many people. Three don't seem to like it, but dozens do.

[Duppie]

So the ability to laugh at ourselves and make light of the very things that every one of us is guilty of posting at one time or another is in your opinion disgraceful? You take yourself and this site way too seriously Madam. Life is too short.

[hill food]

I have posted many of these (errors? foibles?) in the past so I am definitely making fun of myself. I've said some of the most asinine things in the interest of hubris.

one will get called out on occasion or deleted and at first I thought oh sh!+ I've messed up, but then it turned out to be no big deal. in the long run if I repeatedly post idiotic things, I'll just be ignored. so maybe seeing threads like this may help more recent posters realize it's no big deal. although as someone pointed out posters generally don't visit Site Talk at first.

one needs a thick skin just walking out the front door in RL these days, while I don't like seeing other posters trashed on specific threads, we all need to have (and/or eventually develop) a modicum of teflon (or cast-iron - hey there's fodder for a new thread "Your CH Persona, Non-stick or Cast Iron and Why?").

[rworange]

>>> so maybe seeing threads like this may help more recent posters realize it's no big deal. although as someone pointed out posters generally don't visit Site Talk at first.

As I have said, if the topic of this thread was "Stupid cliches I have posted and wish I had not" ... different thing.

But this thread is all about what annoys us about other posters.

What is the value in that?

Will it inspire people to write better and avoid the pitfalls?

Or will it inspire people to stop posting so they won't be ridiculed either on their home board or on Site Talk.

It doesn't seem like a laughing with us situation, rather a laughing at us type of thing.

[rworange]

Aagin, until I brought it up, it wasn't "I post this stupid cliche", it was others post these stuplid cliches and we are sick of it. Aren't THEY dumb.

From my first post, because predictably I could tell these would be the responses

http://chowhound.chow.com/topics/8143...

Cliche #5

YOU as a poster don't have to open, read, comment on a post that has nothing to do with eating better but is just fun, fun, fun. YOU are no fun. How dare you try to ruin our good time.

[donovt]

While its a cliche, it is also a fact. You don't have to read it. Just ignore it, you'll probably feel better that way.

[paulj]

What can you expect? A serious question brings out a few serious answers from people who know. A frivolous observation brings out the comedian in all of us. We all seem to be TV critics as well.

[rworange]

IMO, the most effective use of Chowhound is discussing roasting meat and produce rather than other posters.

[linguafood]

Excuse me, but there is no FOOD thread with over 400 posts? You must be joking.

Apart from that -- if CH has become the BK of websites (whatever that may mean), perhaps it's time to move on? Or at least move on from site talk, since you dislike this thread so much?

[rworange]

The 400 post threads are the chat threads and with few exceptions actually about food.

[sunshine842]

rw, if you're not enjoying the post, then stop reading it, and please, please stop dumping all over it for those who are enjoying it.

[roxlet]

Thank you, sunshine842, my feelings exactly.

[The Chowhound Team]

Folks, this sub-thread about the thread is becoming a cliche all on its own. Please let it go.

[Marge]

You are awesome! Kimchee is a great snack to take on airplane trips for the kids too! When we travel by air, I always take kimchee,and spicy fish soup for my chowpups to nosh on. One time some fat passenger complained about the smell, I told her too bad, that's her problem--MY kids don't eat pretzels and other commercially produced airplane food garbage!! She proceeded to get airsick, no doubt from all the junk food she most likely scarfed down in the terminal before the flight, lol!

[paulj]

I just found some packets of dried kimchi that you could sprinkle on your pretzels or eat with the airline beer.
http://o-jeju.com/home/include.php?in...

[sunshine842]

Don't forget
"what do you MEAN you eat that? It comes from a can! It has CHEMICALS! It's MASS-PRODUCED! I just don't understand how anyone could dare to call themselves a hound and eat that crap"

and the ever-popular
"it's only authentic if it's made from the hair of unicorns, carefully marinated in the tears of virgins and wrapped carefully in the skin of a dragon's wing. Anything less just isn't worth eating"

[bermudagourmetgoddess]

OMG Sunshine842....thanks for the laugh today...so needed it !

[OCEllen]

We NEED a LIKE button!

[mlou72]

You mean the underside of a dragon's wing, preferably nearest the armpit--otherwise it just isn't authentic.

[sunshine842]

and it MUST be the LEFT armpit, dammit. LOL

[Veggo]

Unless it was a free range organic french dragonfly raised by a right handed pregnant pescatarian nun.

[sunshine842]

and if it's not, WHY not, you IDIOT?

LOL-- nearly snorked coffee up my nose on that one.

[sherriberry]

Always good to bring the voice of reason into the conversation.

[Quine]

+1 nanny nanny boo boo, I still say +1

[iL Divo]

sunshine

tears of virgins

do virgins cry......sorry but loved that line, hats off sunshine, you made me smile

[arashall]

The endless pontificating about cast iron.

[cheesemaestro]

And what colors of enameled cast iron cookware are prettiest/ugliest.

[ratgirlagogo]

Guilty. I do realize it's trivial and everything. But I have such strong feelings about it!:)

[buttertart]

Flame. All you need is flame.

[ratgirlagogo]

I don't know that "need" is quite the mot juste in this case.

[iL Divo]

bt
see so disagree.

guess that's what opinions are for

[Quine]

LOL oh the immortal one "Why all this hand wringing over cast iron seasoning?" Way to go, make sure it lasts forever by making that a thread.

[TroyTempest]

Aah, and speaking about endless pontification. What a real Martini is (and for that matter a cocktail glass vs. Martini glass)

[Duppie]

There was a tread some time ago about the tags some bartenders will assume, such as Mixologist and Cocktailian. and went into infinite detail of the differences and who it applies to.

[MGZ]

The "sour grapes" reviews come to mind. A 'hound has a bad experience early in the evening, be it inattentive service, no butter with the bread, or a kitchen unwilling, for watever reason, to make a substitution. The resulting review almost universally becomes an exaggerated exercise in "everything sucked."

[BobB]

That's actually much more typical of Yelp. ;-)

[Quine]

Oh yeah, love those, not. Lots of times too it is 1st time poster, which makes me wonder, and if we're really lucky they will type in all CAPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <------yes it was just for the affect. :)

[EWSflash]

I especially like the ones that end in "Don 't we deserve to be comped?"

If you complain REAL loud, maybe they'll make your mortgage payment next month, too.

[James Cristinian]

Or people who come up with any excuse, for you Quine, TO LEAVE A CRUMMY TIP. I HATE CAPS TOO.

[iL Divo]

i don't hate caps. sometimes a person is just making a point and with ch, there is no other way of using different font underlining bolding or coloring so caps is all ya got

[hetook]

I'm not into commiseration,..but sometimes everything does suck.thatsjustlife.

[ttoommyy]

When someone posts a recipe someone inevitably replies:

"This recipe is horrible!
I didn't have any cinnamon so I substituted nutmeg; we don't like milk in our house so I used half apple juice and half water; my son is allergic to eggs so I used an egg substitute; my husband doesn't like chocolate so I used a strawberry flavoring instead of cocoa powder. I also added nuts and dried cranberries because I had them in the cupboard and I wanted to use them up. Oh yeah...I used wheat flour instead of cake flour because that's all I had on hand.

I would never make this again!"

[buttertart]

C'mon over to the "what are you baking" threads, ttoommyybbooyy, we'll have none of that there!

[cowboyardee]

I see that kind of thing more on other sites than here. The food network recipe postings are really notorious for that kind of ridiculousness.

[lilgi]

epicurious is another one.

[viperlush]

And I for one am thankful for them. It's like Cake Wrecks but instead of looking at pictures it's reading posts.

[vvv03]

I totally agree. I always laugh at all the substitutions people make. I am a good cook and occasionally will add or leave something out due to preference or lack of ingredient, but I'm generally pretty good at sticking to a recipe. With the number of substitutions and deletions some people make, they aren't even talking about the same recipe anymore.

[monfrancisco]

Yes! It was supposed to be chocolate chip cookies, but I ended up with meatloaf. So disappointing!

[carlee134]

bwhahhaa