HOME > Chowhound > Food Media & News >

Angry man not only stiffs on tip but steals tip jar.

Quine Oct 11, 2011 02:08 PM

So seems this person was having a bad day and decided to be a bully and I am sure walked away feeling all smug. But there is a little bit of Karma helper called Social media.

Here's the story:

  1. Click to Upload a photo (10 MB limit)
  1. PotatoHouse RE: Quine Oct 12, 2011 03:22 AM

    Pointless since she posted the name of the wrong customer.

    4 Replies
    1. re: PotatoHouse
      DeppityDawg RE: PotatoHouse Oct 12, 2011 05:16 AM

      Worse than pointless — completely irresponsible.

      1. re: PotatoHouse
        Quine RE: PotatoHouse Oct 12, 2011 07:08 AM

        Right name just wrong facebook profile. So the fact that he even stole her tips, is OK?

        1. re: Quine
          DeppityDawg RE: Quine Oct 12, 2011 07:47 AM

          Nobody said it was OK. But her reaction was childish and disproportionate, her error unfortunate and avoidable, and her apologies insufficient and ineffectual.

          1. re: DeppityDawg
            Quine RE: DeppityDawg Oct 12, 2011 07:51 AM


      2. inaplasticcup RE: Quine Oct 12, 2011 08:09 AM

        Undoubtedly, she made a big, BIG, booboo. And undoubtedly, the actual guy who did that is a case.

        She's probably feeling pretty crappy about what she did, though. And I think this is a cautionary tale on both sides. On one hand to think before we hit <send>, and on the other hand, not to be a totally meanspirited douche.

        3 Replies
        1. re: inaplasticcup
          hill food RE: inaplasticcup Oct 12, 2011 04:10 PM

          "not ... be a totally meanspirited douche"

          I aspire to attain this status. I'm not always successful, but I find it good to have a worthy goal.

          1. re: hill food
            inaplasticcup RE: hill food Oct 13, 2011 05:54 AM

            I think you succeed at it more often than not, hill. ;)

            1. re: inaplasticcup
              hill food RE: inaplasticcup Oct 13, 2011 11:44 PM


        2. j
          jlhinwa RE: Quine Oct 12, 2011 08:10 AM

          What a creep...doesn't do much for Seattle's reputation of being a "nice" city, though jerks obviously live and eat everywhere.

          I live in the Seattle area and find it interesting that I haven't heard about this locally. I am guessing the whole thing is a bit of an embarrassment--the cretin who thought it was okay to steal a tip jar on top of being an ass, and the person posting the wrong FB page.

          I personally have no problem outing the guy who was such a jerk, especially since he stole money. I do, however, feel there is a huge responsibility on the person outing him to get their information 100% accurate. It is unfortunate that someone else was mistakenly identified on FB.

          1. l
            LTL RE: Quine Oct 12, 2011 10:20 AM

            Agree bad judgement was displayed by both parties, but surprised no one has yet touched on the fact that she used the patron's credit card info to find and post the (incorrect) Facebook profile.

            7 Replies
            1. re: LTL
              inaplasticcup RE: LTL Oct 12, 2011 10:21 AM

              True. That's a fireable offense, I think.

              1. re: LTL
                jlhinwa RE: LTL Oct 12, 2011 10:26 AM

                I missed that part the first time I read it. That is really poor on her part and it will be interesting to see how her employer responds. No matter what an ass the guy was, it isn't okay to seek retribution at any cost.

                1. re: LTL
                  DeppityDawg RE: LTL Oct 12, 2011 11:26 AM

                  I don't know if privacy is a big concern at this establishment, since the patron's last name is printed right on the check. And, in general, if I hand over my credit card I'm prepared for the possibility that the other person might somehow discover my name. (I'm less happy that they also get access to all the other information on my credit card, but that's another discussion…)

                  1. re: LTL
                    Quine RE: LTL Oct 12, 2011 01:12 PM

                    I think that the ONLY information she used was his name in searching on FB. So I am not saying she put out any CC info.

                    The Man STOLE her tips, and was nasty in writing. Let me tell you, you steal my money and I know your name, I am calling you out. I do believe that stealing is illegal still in this country.

                    1. re: Quine
                      mjhals RE: Quine Oct 12, 2011 01:43 PM

                      Don't you think the waitress kind of lost the moral high-ground when she outed the wrong person? No one (without damn good cause) should get stiffed on the tip, but neither should anyone be publicly smeared for doing so- when it's the wrong guy!

                      I mean why are we talking about the "karma helper of social media" when some innocent guy got drug into this?

                      1. re: mjhals
                        Quine RE: mjhals Oct 12, 2011 02:03 PM

                        Yes, it was horrible that she "outed" the wrong guy, but no, she did not lose the moral high road. The guy STOLE her tip jar money. That is a criminal act. That's when it moved from moral grounds to criminal actions.

                        1. re: Quine
                          DeppityDawg RE: Quine Oct 13, 2011 02:19 AM

                          If there were any criminal actions worth squawking about, in the eyes of the waitress or her manager, the police would have been called. Facebook is not a substitute for legal action. No one has the moral high ground on the Internet. People can just be more or less worth listening to. This woman had a good story at first, she had her 15 minutes and blew it. She is no longer worth listening to.

                  2. h
                    Heatherb RE: Quine Oct 12, 2011 11:45 AM

                    I think it sucks the wrong guy got caught up in it, but... I HATE people who treat servers badly. Between the scribbled and misspelled insult ("You cold stand to loose a few pounds") and the stealing of the tip jar, the rudeness (not to mention criminality) is rather breathtaking. I can only imagine the havoc he wreaks on other people's lives. I like that social media puts people like this on notice. And as for customer privacy, he lost the right to that when he went after the tip jar.

                    8 Replies
                    1. re: Heatherb
                      pollymerase RE: Heatherb Oct 12, 2011 12:50 PM

                      Isn't it stretching a little far to assume he is wreaking havoc on other people's lives? Sure, he sounds like an ahole, but I'm not ready to assume he is a despicable person. Especially since we haven't heard the whole story. Just because the server says her service was good and that she was 'nice' to him, doesn't mean that it was. I'm also suspect to completely believe her since she was so willing to go and post his info on facebook. That's not something that the normal person goes and does--so her story loses quite a bit of credibility right away with me. Just because someone harms/hurts/insults you doesn't make it right to act equally ugly.

                      After reading the interview linked in the article linked in the OP (http://lineout.thestranger.com/lineou...), it sounds to me that she was overly friendly/flirtatious to the guy. This either bothered/offended him or most likely his girlfriend, so to prove a point, he left no tip and threw in an insult about her looks to make it clear her advances were not wanted. I'm by no means advocating that leaving no tip and insulting her were the right things to do, they weren't, but I'm simply saying that there is likely more to the story than, great service = no tip + insult.

                      I'm actually surprised we haven't seen a thread from a woman about how her boyfriend/husband was at a Mexican restaurant waiting for her and the boisterous, obnoxious, scantily clad waitress was hitting on him. Should he have left a tip?? She wasn't even that attractive! How dare she try to upsell him!!

                      1. re: pollymerase
                        Quine RE: pollymerase Oct 12, 2011 01:17 PM

                        "Isn't it stretching a little far to assume he is wreaking havoc on other people's lives? "

                        pollymerase I guess you missed the point that there is NO excuse for steal money from anyone? He also stole her tip jar money. Without this criminal act, it would have been a he said/she said story and yes I could agree with your points.

                        1. re: Quine
                          pollymerase RE: Quine Oct 12, 2011 01:28 PM

                          No, I didn't miss that point, but I did read where it said that it was never verified that he did that. I'm just not buying anything from anyone in this story.

                          1. re: Quine
                            MandalayVA RE: Quine Oct 12, 2011 01:34 PM

                            I find it EXTREMELY hard to believe that this guy emptied the tip jar into his pocket in front of the manager--as she claims in the story--without anyone calling the cops. Either there wasn't that much in the jar or it never happened. Either way, neither side looks good in this, typical internet flailing over nothing.

                            1. re: MandalayVA
                              Quine RE: MandalayVA Oct 12, 2011 02:07 PM

                              The article does state that the tip jar contained less than $2. So I guess it is a case of "pictures or it never happened".

                            2. re: Quine
                              betsydiver RE: Quine Oct 12, 2011 02:45 PM

                              I think that if the insult was based on anything else besides weight; i.e. looks, race, hair color; the customer would not be given such a pass... weight, body type seems to be the last acceptable bias in our society

                            3. re: pollymerase
                              Heatherb RE: pollymerase Oct 12, 2011 06:08 PM

                              No, I really do think those things are signs of a toxic person. Even if she was a terrible bartender, there's a way that a normal, mentally healthy, self-respecting person conducts themself. Then there's the way a toxic jackhat acts. This guy is clearly in the latter category. NOT someone I would want to know.

                              1. re: Heatherb
                                soupkitten RE: Heatherb Oct 13, 2011 06:49 AM

                                i am guessing that alcohol was not involved. . . . . . . . . . ;-P

                          2. pikawicca RE: Quine Oct 12, 2011 02:14 PM

                            Does anyone else think that there is no way, according to the signature on the cc slip, that this guy's last name is "Meyer?"

                            1 Reply
                            1. re: pikawicca
                              Quine RE: pikawicca Oct 12, 2011 02:20 PM

                              Nah, you haven't seen my signature.

                            2. Quine RE: Quine Oct 12, 2011 02:27 PM

                              OK, I would like to ask this, clearly the man was a bully, How would you have handled the treatment he gave? He stiffed on the tip, wrote a nasty note (libel?) and stole not for personal gain ($1.25 in quarters) just to be meaner yet?

                              And for clarification, I would not have pointed to a specific profile on FB myself. Would I have posted the story and the picture, yes.

                              2 Replies
                              1. re: Quine
                                pikawicca RE: Quine Oct 12, 2011 06:34 PM

                                Suggesting that someone might need to lose some weight is certainly not libelous in the U.S.

                                1. re: Quine
                                  MandalayVA RE: Quine Oct 13, 2011 06:49 AM

                                  If he had done this repeatedly, that would be bullying. This is a case of a twenty-something yet again blowing something WAY out of proportion and having to make sure the whole world knew about the OMG OUTRAGE before she, you know, checked to make sure she was blowing up the right person. The more I read about this whole thing--not to mention the cutesy "tee-hee, I'm sorry, I'm sure you're a nice guy" half-assed apology she gave to someone whose personal information got spread out on the web because she was by her own admission "a douche" and "blinded by rage"--the less sympathetic I am to her.

                                2. t
                                  TheFoodEater RE: Quine Oct 14, 2011 12:23 AM

                                  Whatever happened to just remembering the person who stiffed you, being super nice to them next time to their face, then spitting in their food before you serve it to them and laughing at them behind their back? Doesn't tradition matter anymore? The penalty for stiffing waitstaff is getting your food spit in next time you come in. Everyone knows that.

                                  2 Replies
                                  1. re: TheFoodEater
                                    Quine RE: TheFoodEater Oct 14, 2011 07:22 AM

                                    Spitting in food is a criminal act. I have worked in the food industry almost all my life and never saw one server do this. Once at a place I worked, after hours a cook poured soap on a supervisor's meal. He was jailed for 18 months.

                                    1. re: Quine
                                      woodleyparkhound RE: Quine Oct 14, 2011 09:21 AM

                                      A million years ago, when I worked at McDonald's, a customer was extremely, outrageously, over-the-top rude to me. I told the manager and he said, "Don't worry - we'll fix him." He directed the grill guy to put about 5 times the normal amount of salt on his hamburger. I thought that was fabulous!

                                  2. h
                                    HillJ RE: Quine Oct 14, 2011 10:22 AM

                                    This is what happens when grownups act like idiots.

                                    1 Reply
                                    1. re: HillJ
                                      chowser RE: HillJ Oct 14, 2011 03:38 PM


                                    2. babette feasts RE: Quine Oct 15, 2011 10:55 PM

                                      Does she track down the really great tippers on facebook and get all her friends to praise and thank them?

                                      I don't mean to condone the diner's behavior, but don't most servers know that you win some, you lose some, and it evens out in the end? Doubtful that she would have gotten more than $6 on a $29 tab...yeah I've had times where 6 bucks was pretty significant in my day to day existence, but I don't think it is worth slandering a stranger. Totally unprofessional on the server's part.

                                      1 Reply
                                      1. re: babette feasts
                                        chowser RE: babette feasts Oct 16, 2011 09:02 AM

                                        I wonder if the guy could sue for libel. His name is google-able and comes up as bad tipper. For a big number of CH, that would be enough to boycott him, though he is innocent.

                                      2. huiray RE: Quine Oct 18, 2011 12:08 PM

                                        Here are some links regarding the wrong person being fingered and hounded.

                                        So far as I can see, Jezebel has yet to publish an apology or retraction.

                                        The Stranger /Dan Savage (like him or hate him he gets a lot of readers) posted stuff. Savage made a non-apology later but no retraction.
                                        The later comments are interesting to read (e.g. comment #150 etc)
                                        ...and as for the CA Andy Meyer who offered to pay a 100% tip, The Stranger complimented him while declaring it 'hilarious' and immediately offering to put him in touch with this Liss person: http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/arch...
                                        ...Well, I agree with commenter #2 - why are they rewarding this waitress person who slandered the wrong person AND think the situation hilarious?

                                        The Seattle Weekly reported on it then made an apology - but fat lot of good it does for the reputation of all the wrong people out there who have been fingered forever in the age of the immortal caches of the Internet.
                                        At least they pointed to the 'record' of this Liss person who has, it turns out, helped to put the wrong people IN JAIL before.

                                        Well, the Seattle Pi tried to talk to this waitress person/take in the (non-cooperative) stances by the establishment where the contretemps occurred:
                                        The stone-walling and 'dismissal' of the incident seems just a bit too nonchalant on their part towards an incident that has tarred the reputation of the wrong person.
                                        The first comment by John V in that article is most interesting - especially the Yelp review he points to from a reviewer named "Drew...." from Seattle, WA...hmm, hmm...the link to which is: http://www.yelp.com/user_details?user... . Verrrry interesting.

                                        CHS talks to the wrongly fingered man:
                                        I hope he sues the crap out of this Liss waitress AND Bimbo's Cantina and hope he wins big.

                                        The next time I'm in Seattle, I myself will make it a point to NOT patronize that place.

                                        3 Replies
                                        1. re: huiray
                                          HillJ RE: huiray Oct 18, 2011 12:16 PM

                                          That's quite a lot of information over one ridiculous act. And you'd hate on an entire establishment over it? Why? Was this 15 minutes of human misfortune a personal issue for you?

                                          1. re: HillJ
                                            huiray RE: HillJ Oct 18, 2011 12:35 PM

                                            This particular incident wasn't a personal issue for me but the general sense of the wrongful mob-lynching rankled badly with me. Oh, and the non-apologies and/or shrugging-and-walking-away of many of those who piled on; sundry - and numerous - Facebookers and public commentators alike.

                                            1. re: huiray
                                              HillJ RE: huiray Oct 18, 2011 12:38 PM

                                              Can't argue with you there, huiray. It doesn't desire attention....just a cautionary tale in my book.

                                        Show Hidden Posts