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I'd say you just have to create your own tradition. If your Jewish in-laws want ham I'd be totally confused as well!
I'm not a big fan of a traditional turkey dinner, and I think Thanksgiving dinner should be all about family and friends, so the food should be most important based on the people gathered. I like Anne's response.
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This looks like an ideal time to start your own tradition - what meal do you love? What do you enjoy preparing and serving? If you're hosting the meal, and it's prepared with love, everyone will be happy and THANKFUL!!!
You could incorporate pork into the turkey dinner by choosing a stuffing with bacon and/or sausage...
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I had a giggle at your Jewish inlaws requesting ham. There is another thread going here about how to serve a Kosher MIL Thanksgiving dinner because she can't use butter on the turkey.
My family serves both turkey and ham at Thanksgiving. There enough eaters to make this work (with leftovers for everyone to take home for a couple of sandwiches), but you might want th do just a turkey breast and a small ham if you don't have lots of eaters.
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There is no law that you HAVE to have "traditional" foods on Thanksgiving. I know several people who have lasagne. And since my husband & I fly 2,000 miles to meet my in-laws in the San Francisco area, Thanksgiving dinner for us is usually cioppino or other seafood dish. Cook whatever YOU like, whatever YOU consider "festive". Maybe a beef roast? If you feel you *must* include a "traditional" food, plan pumpkin pie for dessert.


