Psst... We're working on the next generation of Chowhound! View >
HOME > Chowhound > General Topics >
Oct 1, 2011 12:04 PM

A Menu for a Break Up Meal

My DSM (dining soul mate) is going though some major life transition. He is coming over to "talk" Tue and despite the fact he may dump me, I want to plan a nice dinner. I was going to do a Lobster Clam Bake for two but feel I won't have an appetite and want to have food I can serve in the living room on my little butler table. I love cooking amazing meals for my DSM but have not had my heart into this and need your help. Need a great menu, seafood or fish and even tapas ideas. Also please be mindful my energy level is quite low due to the circumstances. I was thinking of homemade pizza or an antipasto of sorts with nice pasta (I can get homemade pasta at the shop nearby so a simple sauce?). Thanks all. Sniff

  1. Click to Upload a photo (10 MB limit)
  1. If your DSM is coming over to talk and you're expecting the worst, take control of the situation. Make something that YOU enjoy, whatever that may be. Not knowing the situation it's hard to give advice. However, I can give personal experience. When going through break-ups, people either eat too much or lose their appetites. I always lost my appetite, so I probably would serve absolutely nothing and have him explain himself before we (possibly) order in- or I throw him out. Assuming that this is someone who you plan to stay friendly with, cook if you must- but only if YOU want to and not because he expects you to. I'm assuming that your relationship is deeper than food. and he should respect the fact that this is not easy for you, no matter what he's going through himself. I hope that whatever happens works out for the best.

    5 Replies
    1. re: NicoleFriedman

      thanks Nicole! I have lost 7 pounds..will make homemade pizza and a salad..easy peasy...

      1. re: phelana

        Are you sure he's coming over to break up? Maybe he means to propose, or something in the positive vein.

        I'd make what you like, as Nicole suggests, and nothing messy if you decide to toss it in his of luck to you. Hugs.

          1. re: bushwickgirl

            This reminds me of a scene from Joy Luck Club. A woman was making a peanut butter pie for her husband while they were finalizing their divorce. Her mother yelled at her, saying that just because he sees this pie, he's not going to realize what you're worth. You have to be able to communicate your worth, and not just through your cooking.

        1. re: NicoleFriedman

          I had the opposite reaction to the question...I would make something I like OK, but not my favorite thing. I would worry too much that if the situation turned emotionally traumatic, I would forever tie baggage to a favorite food item. I would hate, for example, to think of a painful breakup every time I looked at a crabcake. The pizza/salad idea is a good one: easy, relatively comforting, and you probably won't ruin it forever no matter how the evening goes. Good luck to you. I hope it goes better than you are anticipating.

        2. I'd go for comfort food - creamy, rich, carb-y.

          1 Reply
          1. re: shanagain

            oh he is definitely not proposing..he has huge life stress..thanks for the tips

          2. Hugs to you! I'm zero help on this one. I would not cook for someone that intended to dump me. I would save the amazing meals for someone in the future... who loves you and appreciates you.

            1 Reply
                1. re: paulj

                  I guess I have an odd opinion but I wouldn't go to any effort to be broken up with. I'd ask them to get to the point over a glass of wine. If you are breaking up be nice but I don't know why I would want to eat at a moment like that. Drink, hell yes, but I don't know that I could muster up the desire for food.

                  1. re: paulj

                    thanks all for putting a grin on my face..he adores me but has to move back to his hometown for his kids..he is sacrificing his needs for his kids..any good parent would..I just hope there is something left for us..he is my best dining buddy...I have positive expectations..homemade pizza and salad...I need a great salad recipe..greens with?? I always do my homemade candied walnuts and goat cheese and cranberries..need a new one..HUGS all..

                    1. re: phelana

                      greens, walnuts, strawberries, red onion, blue cheese in a strawberry vinaigrette dressing

                      arugula pear blue cheese and walnuts in a vinaigrette dressing

                      lots of alcohol and chocolate to follow